You are the way you love
by FrenchMelanie
Summary: Skye had shot Lucas. She had chosen his father. Back to square one for Lucas. Is a meeting with a total unknown girl going to change his life? A Terra Nova OC fanfic with Lucas Taylor, Nathaniel Taylor, Skye Tate and Shannon's family. "Is your life driven by your choices or is it fate that rules your life? Things happen for a reason. Everything is always connected..."
1. The rescue

**What would happen if another character was introduced in Lucas's life? Could he change? Somebody with no link with his past, could he start a brand new life if he wanted to? Could Skye be part of his life? That's what made me write this story of Lucas Taylor.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terra Nova or its characters… Otherwise the show would continue forever!**

**Oh and by the way, I'm French, so forgive me for my mistakes and please, do me a favor, tell me when it's wrong so I can correct it!**

**I'd like to give a big thank to Emtheunicorn, and by big I mean HUGE thank! You made me love the fanfics and you took time to read my texts so THANK YOU VERY MUCH!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 - The rescue<strong>

It had been 5 months since Lucas had been shot by Skye. Mira had found him laying in the jungle, wounded, dying. She had helped him to survive, she wanted him to rebuild the portal and she absolutely needed him so she could go back to 2149 and find her daughter. Lucas was able to stand and walk only a week after the accident. His anger towards his father and Skye had helped him, she was sure of it. She didn't care why he was going to help her, she just wanted him to do it.

Lucas was in the jungle, looking for inspiration. He had worked hard on the portal for the last few months and he had needed some fresh air to make his ideas up. He had told Mira he was going out for few days, to "think". As he was walking, he heard the roar of a nykoraptor not far away. He froze, waiting, still, listening.

He heard something coming, running fast… breathing loudly.

He hid behind a tree and saw… a girl, around his age, running, a scared expression on her face. She had a stripy polo with a pair of jeans, some Converse shoes and a big brown watch which was twice the size of her wrist. Her dark blond hair was tied up but you could see it was long. She had nothing in common with the girls from Terra Nova, nor the ones from 2149. She looked healthier than the people from the pilgrimages. Her skin was lightly tanned, as if she had been in the sun.

She stopped few steps away from him to look behind her, trying to catch her breath, exhausted by her run.

She had never run that fast in her whole life! She started laughing, unsure why, but all that fear she had in her had to get out. Where the hell was she? She suddenly heard a sound from behind her, like a machine you turn on.

"Put your hands up" said a male voice.

She did what the voice told her, slowly putting her hands in the air.

"Turn slowly"

She turned and saw this guy. Maybe her age or older, she couldn't say, pointing at her what looked like a gun.

"I wish you no harm. I have no weapon. Please don't hurt me!"

She regretted those words the second she had said them. She cursed herself. She had just told a total stranger with a gun that she was totally defenseless. He was staring at her. She kept her eyes into his, not sure what he was thinking.

Lucas didn't know what to do. She clearly was no threat to him. But he had never seen her. She was dressed like a girl from the future would be, like she had just arrived. It was too awkward to let her go. He had to know more.

"Who are you?" he heard himself ask

She hesitated, not sure if she could say it. After a pause, she just answered in a casual tone.

"I'm Alex," she stated. "Alexandra"

She had an accent, not sure from where. As if she had read his mind, she followed.

"I'm french". Lucas's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What a girl like you is doing alone in the jungle?"

"Who said I was alone?" she replied quickly

"Well, if you had back up they would already be here, don't you think?" he smirked "I don't like to say things twice", he added spitefully.

"What, isn't it obvious? I'm playing hide and seek with my friend the dinosaur," she joked with a tiny smile, not really sure if he was the kind of guy to be anything other than serious.

He walked closer to her, the gun still pointing to her head "You must be stupid otherwise you wouldn't talk to me like that right?"

"I'm lost," she gulped.

Lucas had made his point, she was afraid of him now.

Silence. Lucas put his finger on his lips "shh". An abnormal silence grew between them. The air had become really heavy. They could hear nothing but the sound of their own breathing. Suddenly the reason of this silence appeared.

"DOWN!" Lucas shouted

Alexandra just did what he said. She heard a huge roar followed by a big noise, like thunder, above her head. She stayed put on the ground, eyes shut, much afraid to open them. It seemed like an eternity to her until she finally heard his voice.

"It's ok, you can stand up".

But she didn't move, unsure what to do. He wasn't even sure she could stand up. Her body wasn't responding anymore.

"I won't hurt you," she heard. The voice closer than before, just next to her face. She opened her eyes slightly and met his gaze. She hadn't noticed he had such beautiful green eyes.

Lucas had shot the dinosaur, though he didn't kill it, just made it go away. The dread he had seen in Alexandra's eyes when he asked her to get down stayed in his head. Scare but there was something else in it, he was not sure what it was. Afraid to lose something… or someone? Was she worried about him? No, of course not. Why the hell this girl could show compassion to him in a moment like that. Still, she made him feel strange. She had beautiful blue eyes, not like Skye had, no, different, big dark blue lightly violet ones… beautiful ones. The kind of eyes he couldn't forget, just like his mother's had looked the day she asked his father to chose his son instead of her. Lucas wiped the thought from his mind. He didn't want to think about his mother.

He looked at her as she stood up "How did you get here?"

"I don't know," she said, looking down, brushing her hands on her trousers.

"How did you get here?" he asked, a little bit harder.

"I just told you I didn't know ok?" she spat.

"Are you getting stupid again?" he hissed.

"I SAID I DON'T KNOW!" she cried glaring at him, her eyes locked onto his. She didn't mean to cry but she hadn't slept since she arrived five days ago, much afraid of what could happen to her. Lucas didn't move, waiting for his answer. She tried to calm down, took a deep breath and continued " I… I saw a big blue light and then… " she sighed, "I don't know how I get here, I swear I was at my house and suddenly I was here and..."

"Your house?" interjected Lucas in disbelief. "Where is your house?"

"In France" she answered as if he was stupid.

"When did that happen?"

"5 days ago"

"When…", he paused, "what was exactly the date ?"

"1st January 2012"

"2012? You're sure?

"Yes that's something I'm sure of." She saw him pacing, thinking, his mind obviously full of questions, she suddenly felt afraid "Where am I?". Lucas acted like she wasn't there "Where?"

"The question is not where you are but when," he said as if he just remembered that she was there.

She was afraid that what she had thought when she saw her first dinosaur on her first day was true.

"Am I… in a kind of parallel world or something like that?" she asked, unsure if she wanted him to answer.

Lucas shook his head. "What? Are you gonna tell me that I'm back in the prehistory?"

Lucas nodded. She just stayed still, lost in her thoughts too, not sure of what all of this implied. "I have to go back home" she stated "I can't stay here, I'm not a prehistoric or something like that, I have to go home".

"You can't. There's no way back to the future. The portal has been destroyed"

"Well there must be one because look at me tadaaaa I'm right here" she mocked.

"I can't explain it" whispered Lucas. He had to go back to the sixers camp and understand how that had happened. Lucas started to go away, leaving Alexandra behind.

"Can I come with you?" she asked, trying to follow his quick pace.

"No, I already have enough problems to solve" he spat at her.

"Please… Don't leave me alone" she sadly said "Maybe I can help you?" He stopped and stared at her, she could be helpful… or not.

"Pleeeaase" she begged. "You saved my life, I have to save yours in return" she argued.

"Ok" he answered; already regretting it. But the grateful smile she gave him made thse thoughts go away. "Let's go then, we need to find somewhere to hide for the night."

"Awesome! I knew you wouldn't abandon me like that. You act like the bad guy but you don't really are the bad guy and…"

"Alexandra?" he cut.

"Yes?"

"If you come with me, you'll have to shut up" he said in an exhausted tone.

"Ok, I'll try." He frowned at her. "Ok I'll do it. You're the one who has the gun anyway" she smiled.

Lucas gazed at her, startled she could smile so easily. He shook his head sighing and walked again, leaving her behind him.

"By the way, I'm Lucas".

Lucas. That sounded like a good name to Alexandra.

"Hey, what did you mean earlier when you said 'a girl like you' ?" she added, talking again, following him.

He grinned, keeping his pace, not answering her.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Many others are going to follow. Please review this chapter, I would love to hear what you thought about it!<strong>


	2. Trust or no trust

Here is my second chapter! I hope you enjoyed the first and that you'll enjoy the second! Thanks to MissCallaLilly, Emtheunicorn, LillithBlackFlower and JungleGirl2149 for your reviews. It makes me want to write more and more! I'm waiting for your next reviews!

* * *

><p>They reached one of Lucas's shelters just before dark. Alexandra was exhausted. Lucas was so used to walking fast, she had thought she had lost him a few times. Lucas didn't talk to her the whole way to the hidden place. She didn't dare to talk first. After all, he asked her not to and she wasn't sure he was the kind of guy who was very patient. Lucas stopped when they arrived in a clearing. He approached a tree and brought a ladder out of nowhere. Alexandra looked up to discover a hut hidden in the tree.<p>

"We'll stay here for the night," he said.

Alexandra was surprised when she entered. It was spacious enough for a bed, a sort of kitchen and a fire place. Lucas brought some logs and lit a fire. He was watching it, lost in his minds when he felt something behind his back. He turned his head and glanced at her, she was staring at him.

"What?" he spat, annoyed at her.

"Thank you," she answered simply.

That startled him. He didn't know what to say, people had never thanked him before and he was not used to say you're welcome for anything.

"Don't bother."

"No really. I mean it, I have to say it. You saved my life, you are sharing your bed and your home with me whereas I'm a total stranger to you. So really, thank you, you're a good man."

"People would disagree with you, I'm more evil than good," he chuckled.

She came closer to him, her gaze meeting his "People who'd say that would be wrong, they would not know you," she stated.

He was startled again. Lucas didn't know if he liked it. Words were always going through her lips as if it was obvious. It confused him.

"Go to bed now, we've got a long day tomorrow," he answered simply.

Alexandra did what he told her to do, too exhausted to argue with him.

Lucas waited for her to be totally asleep. He stood up and walked slowly to her. He stared at her. She clearly had something different from the girls he had known. Different from Skye. Skye… He had thought that sharing the same trouble past, their similar losses, she would have understood him better than anyone. Instead, she had betrayed him. He had felt passion for her. He remembered that night when she had asked him to spare the Shannon boy. "I will do whatever you want" she had said. He could have made her his slave, but he hadn't. He didn't want to be with her that way, he wanted her to love him. He had spared the Shannon boy for her, to show her how he wanted to be nice to her. She clearly didn't deserve it. She was like his father, selfish, always a disappointment; he would never be perfect enough for them.

The arrival of Alexandra was another problem to solve. His equations were suddenly wrong. If she had travelled from 2012, somebody must have found how to create a portal back there. But why it had appeared in her house, why in France and why now? Lucas didn't sleep that night, thinking of all of the implications that Alexandra's presence had created. He didn't believe in fate. If a new time fracture had appeared, it could have very bad consequences on Terra Nova, but also on the future. It must be controlled, otherwise it could destroy the world.

"So, how do you think I arrived here? Why me?" asked Alexandra as they were back walking. It was nearly noon and they haven't eaten since they had met. Alexandra was starving and she had to talk to think about something else.

Her questions were getting on Lucas's nerves. She had asked questions since she woke up. Couldn't she just stop the chit chat?

"Are all the French people this talkative or is it just you who's this annoying?" he mocked. She frowned. Lucas smiled to himself, happy she understood his undertone. She scowled at him once he had turned his back.

It was mid afternoon now, they have walked for hours. Alexandra didn't like it to be quiet. She had so many questions in mind; she had to share them, to expose her theories. She was someone really rational; she still had a problem, to think she had travelled into the past. It looked like this movie she had watched when she was younger. The story of a guy who could travel in the past and the future with a funny car. She tried hard to remember the name of the movie. This question remained in her head an hour or so.

"Back to the future!" she suddenly shouted, excited.

"What?"

"Back to the future! The movie where there's this guy who could travel into the past and the future. You know."

"There she is again, talking," he sighed.

"Oh come on, I stopped talking hours ago. Isn't it enough now?" she said as she ran in front of him, forcing him to stop. "It's 3 already, we missed breakfast and lunch, aren't you starving?"

Alexandra was glad she had her watch with her, she didn't know how she would have done without it. It kept her from losing her mind. Obviously Lucas knew just by a look to the sun what time it was.

Lucas was hungry too but he was used to it. When his father had banished him, he had to survive, he had eaten when he could and he never had to think about someone else other than himself.

"Ok, I know a place not far, next to a river. We can go and eat there."

Alexandra gratefully smiled at him. Her smile faded when Lucas told her she had to catch her lunch if she wanted to eat.

"How am I going to do that? I've never hunted before!" she sulked.

"Well, there is first time for everything," he mocked.

Lucas had fun watching her trying to catch a fish. She had struggled to reach one, and when she had had the chance to be close enough to one of them, she had always lost it. After 15 minutes watching her struggling in the water, he came to her, waited peacefully next to her. In a minute, a fish came close to him, he waited for him to come closer and caught him. Alexandra watched him, startled.

"You must be kidding me! Did you have fun watching me there, fighting for survival whereas you could just come here and do... that!"

"Survival? Come on! You're not going to starve," he teased.

"You could have at least show me how to do it instead of taking the piss out of me."

"Wow, taking the piss out of you? You have quite a bad language haven't you. I'm sure you didn't learn that at school."

"Bollocks to you," she replied "That is also something I didn't learn at school."

Lucas couldn't suppress a laugh. "You are bloody awful!"

"Thank you," she smiled "I intend to be me in English as I would be in French."

He shook his head, sighing. "Let me show you how to catch your food." He came behind her, wrapped his arms around hers. "You have to be patient, very patient."

"How long?"

"Shh just wait."

A fish came next to her. She stiffened. "Wait," Lucas whispered in her ear. She suppressed a shiver. The warmth of his breath on her neck went down to her spine, waking up strange urges in her body.

"Now!" he said, putting her hands in the water to reach the fish.

"I got it! I got it!" Alexandra screamed, overexcited. The fish was struggling to get out of her hands. "What do I do now?"

"Take the head off."

"What?" she asked disgust evident in her voice.

"Give it to me." He took the fish and cut his head off with his knife.

"Wow, that was a cut…" she stared at the beheaded fish.

"I thought you were starving?" he smirked.

Lucas lit a fire to cook the fishes they had caught. They ate in had not realized he was so hungry. Alexandra quickly devoured her piece. When her stomach was finally full, she lay against a rock, digesting in the sun. Lucas imitated her shortly thereafter.

"Alex?" he finally said few minutes after;

"Lucas." She stated, faking to be serious.

"Why did you walk into the portal?" he asked, glancing at her furtively. Just enough to see her winced.

"So you want me to talk now?" she teased.

"I'm sure I don't have to persuade you for that," he mocked.

"Well, there is nothing glorious or brave in there," she started. "It was just after New Year's Eve and let's just say I was a mess…" she stopped. "Why do you want to know?"

"It could be important," he simply replied. "Carry on". She stared at him. He didn't see it as his eyes were shut again.

"I had spent my New Year's Eve with some friends. I actually was not really thrilled about it because I was not in a good mood. I had spent Christmas on my own, alone. My grandmother died 6 months ago and she was my only family left. I just didn't want to have fun that night. I had too many drinks and let just say that when I'm drunk I'm a little bit too honest."

"More than you already are, is it possible?" he chuckled.

She glared at him. "I can be much more honest that I've been with you, ok? Do you really want to know or not?"

"Sorry, I shut up," he smiled. "Please, do continue."

"I told a girlfriend that everybody thought she was a whore and I told a boyfriend that his girlfriend was having an affair with his best friend," she winced. "Not a really good evening actually. When I went home, I drank more. I probably fell asleep on the sofa. When the portal appeared from nowhere, I just thought I was dreaming. I've been stupidly curious. See, no bravery at all, just a drunk girl having a silly idea."

Alexandra glanced at Lucas. He seemed to think about what she had just said.

"Funny," he just murmured.

"What?" she couldn't help asking, curious.

"I'm disappointed," he started. "I didn't see you like that."

"Like what?" She sat up, looking forward to him.

"Like a silly girl," he said seriously.

It annoyed Alexandra. She didn't want him to think she was stupid. But she didn't want to tell him why she had really done it. She felt confused.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked, looking at her now. He had seen she looked thoughtful. She glanced at him and saw him staring at her. His intense gaze startled her. She deliberated what she could tell him.

"Maybe I look smarter than I am then," she just said.

"Do you know that you are definitely not a good liar?" he asked. She looked down. She knew she was not a good liar. It was her weakness but at the same time she had always thought it was an advantage. She was proud to be honest. She knew who she was.

"Why would I lie to you?" She looked straight in the eyes.

"I don't know. You tell me." He simply said.

She pursed her lips and took a deep breath. "I have nothing else to tell you."

She ended their conversation by standing up. She walked to the river, looking away, lost in her minds. Lucas watched her as she walked. He was sure she was not telling him the truth, or at least, not the entire truth. He was sure she had a deeper reason to walk into the portal. She was cleverer than she wanted him to know. He was sure he would know the truth soon enough. She couldn't lie to him. She probably couldn't lie to anyone.

Alexandra had decided not to tell him why she had decided to take such a risk by going to the portal. She believed in destiny. She had always thought things used to happen because they had to. The night the portal appeared, she had known she had to get into it. She had hoped it was the solution to her sadness. She had wanted it to solve her problems. Even with what happened to her, she still thought she had made a good decision. She was sure of it. But to say it out loud was still too disturbing, especially in front of Lucas. He looked like a smart guy. But she was sure he would not understand her point of view.

Lucas came next to her, looking away, imitating her.

"Why were you alone in the jungle?" She suddenly asked him. "Are you the kind of psycho who's living in the jungle, killing people before he eats them?" She lightly laughed.

The silence that followed made here uncomfortable. "Oh my god, that was a stupid question" she cursed herself. She didn't notice she was staring at him, eyes wide open.

"No, I'm not," he smirked. "I do not eat people." Her eyes shone, relieved, when she realized he was joking.

"You know what a joke is?" she teased. 'I am really proud of you. You've made a big improvement since we first met."

"I hope you've made a big improvement in silence and walk because we have to go now. The next place where we are headed is 2 hours away," he said ironically.

She didn't reply, wincing. He always had the last word anyway.

Lucas turned and walked back to the jungle, a smile on his face. It was so easy to make fun of her.


	3. Stubborn

Lucas's question about why she had walked into the portal had brought a lot of questions in Alexandra's mind. Lucas was not from this age. He was from somewhere else, another time. She cursed herself for her stupidity. Of course Lucas had not grown up here. His knowledge, his gun, his attitude, he was not from any time she had heard about. Maybe he was from a future she couldn't know. And in 2012, there was no time travelling machine or something similar.

"Why did you walk into the portal?"

"Because," he stopped and turned to face her. "Because I'm a scientist," his face hardened. "I was needed here."

"A scientist? Aren't you too young to be a scientist?" She asked in disbelief.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed yet, I'm a kind of a genius," he chuckled.

"Why were you alone in the jungle when we met?"

"Because I needed some fresh air to think, "he sighed.

"To think about what?"

"That is none of your business," he replied harshly. His green eyes were most of the time soft and kind, dazzling. But sometimes, they could reflect fury, anger, a dark feeling kept deep inside which was waiting to burst out whenever it could.

"Where are we going?" She asked, unsure.

"To another place," he answered simply, annoyed at her. She stopped walking and waited for him to stop and look at her.

"No, I mean, where are we headed? There must be a final place to go, a home where somebody is waiting for you."

"I have no home and there's no one waiting for me anywhere," he said sadly. "But there is a camp where I live with other people. We should be there tomorrow night. If you stop asking me to stop all the time, of course."

His answer bewildered her. She felt sad for him. However, he kept repeating that she annoyed him. She didn't have to show him she was sad for him. They kept walking for an hour until Alexandra realized she had to stop.

"We need to stop," she suddenly said.

"No, we are far away from where I want us to go, carry on."

"Ok, uh, I have to stop," she said, urgency in her voice.

He turned to see her face.

"You know… private things…" She gulped, gesturing with her hands at the same time, trying to explain she had to stop to wee.

"Oh," he just said as he eventually understood her. "Ok. Be quick. Don't go too far."

She didn't wait for him to finish his sentence, she was already gone.

Lucas exhaled loudly. Girls… He had forgotten how they could be annoying. Actually, Alexandra didn't really annoy him. What annoyed him was how easily she had moved his world upside down with all of her questions and expressions. Lucas put their bags next to a tree and sat on a log. Five minutes had passed and Lucas began to grow impatient. Suddenly he felt the earth tremble. He heard a scream and saw Alexandra running in his direction.

"RUN!" She screamed. A herd of a dozen triceratops were racing onto them. Lucas stood up quickly and ran with her. He reached her, grabbed her arm and pushed her with him on a side. He pushed her against a tree trunk, pressing his body against hers, protecting her. They stood against each other, hearts pounding, waiting for the dinosaurs to go, praying that they did not deviate from their path towards their direction.

"Alex?"

Alexandra hadn't noticed she had shut her eyes and hid her head in Lucas's chest. Lucas tilted his head to see her face. He lifted her chin up with his hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice shaking.

"What happened?"

"I saw one of them and suddenly there were many of them." Her whole body was shaking. Lucas tried to calm her down, gently caressing her shoulders.

"Can you walk?" She nodded in agreement. "Let's go then." He put his arm around her waist and kept it like that the whole way. She was really grateful he did it. She felt weak, but she had needed his help, as her legs had refused to walk properly.

An hour after, they arrived at another shelter, just before dark. A tree house, like the previous shelter. But the place was better than the other one. It was next to a waterfall with a sort of pool. The vegetation was green. The colors were vibrant. The waterfall came out of nowhere. It looked like paradise to Alexandra. Lucas went to the pool and collected some water. He brought it in the tree and lit a fire as the air got cooler.

"Where are the bags?" he suddenly asked, looking everywhere.

"I don't know," she honestly answered.

"You had them."

"No I hadn't."

"Damn. They stayed behind us."

"Is it a problem?"

"A problem? Our food was in there, my stuff was in there," he yelled. "My notes were in there!'

"It doesn't matter. We probably can do without it." She regretted her words the second she had said them.

"It does matter! Are you utterly stupid?"

"Hey don't be mad at me!"

"I will have to go back and find it now. Just because you had to stop."

"It's not my fault! I had to stop. Physically I had to stop!"

"Oh please just shut up now. I need to think about how to repair your mistake."

"You are the one who forgot them, not me!"

"I said shut up," he coldly spat.

"Don't yell at me, I'm not the one who did it. I can't change that can I ?"

"Alex for once could you just do what I ask and shut your mouth?"

"You are pissing me off, I'm fed up with your attitude, one minute you're kind, the next you're just an arse hole!"

"Don't you dare talking to me like that!"

"I don't care," she snapped "I'm done with you," she said as she turned around and walked away.

"Fine! Go to hell!" he shouted, full of anger.

"Fine!" he heard her say away.

Alexandra didn't know where she was going but she was just fed up. He had got on her nerves. She was a patient person, but he could lose his temper so easily. She couldn't be calm for both of them all the time. He brought out the worst of her. She had to calm down.

Lucas was angry. Angry at himself for forgetting the bags. Angry at Alexandra, for having made him forget the bags. It was used to be alone. The presence of the Alexandra disturbed him to the point of forgetting the simplest things. He took a deep breath, exhaled loudly. He shook his head, sighing. He knew he had to go and find her. Lucas didn't have to walk far before he saw her. She was standing still in the middle of a clearing. He froze.

"Alex?"

She didn't move but he could see she was breathing heavy, her chest moving up and down quickly.

"Alex?" He tried again.

She slowly turned her head to him. Her eyes warned him. Something was wrong. Her eyes suddenly widened. Her mouth opened. She slowly, carefully, show something with her hand, pointing behind him. He slowly reached his gun, his eyes still locked into hers. Then he turned quickly his face and saw a slasher, inches from him. He tried to shot him but the slasher ran into him, biting his shoulder, throwing him away. His head hit a log, making him faint. The slasher approached Lucas as he was unconscious on the ground.

Alexandra didn't think twice and ran to Lucas, punched the slasher as strongly as possible. The slasher turned slowly to her, smelling her as the fear locked her onto the ground. She hadn't thought what she'd do after that and now here she was, in front of a dinosaur who clearly wanted to make her his dinner. She took all the courage she had got left and ran. She didn't go far as her foot hit a root and made her fall. She spun on her back to see the slasher inches away from her. She suppressed a scream and rolled just before the slasher shut his mouth where she had been seconds earlier. She jumped to her feet and ran to Lucas. She grabbed his gun and pointed it at the slasher. She didn't know how to use it but she had seen Lucas using it. That should do. It had to be enough. She took a deep breath and shot the slasher. The power of the gun made her fall back next to Lucas. She glanced quickly and saw the slasher was gone. She reached to Lucas. He was in the middle of a bloody pond, his blood. She put her arms under his shoulders and dragged him to the shelter. They had to hide, his blood was going to attract other slashers. She tried to wake him up. She couldn't carry him in the tree on her own.

"Lucas? Lucas, please, wake up!" Tears were flooding her eyes now. "Lucas, you have to wake up, we need to climb! Come on!" Her voice was higher than she intended, hysterical. When he didn't answer, she slapped him violently. He opened his eyes. "Come on! Stand up and climb!" She helped him to stand up and to climb as quickly as possible to the shelter. Once up there, he collapsed again. She dragged him to the bed and took all her energy left to lay him on it. His wound was not as bad as she had first thought. But it was deep. She searched for medical supplies and found some bandages. "That should do" she told herself out loud, to give her strength. She took off his shirt, cleaned him with the water they had taken earlier and bandaged his shoulder. She looked at his head, he had a bump, but nothing to worry about. Once she had finished, she let her eyes flick to his body. He was muscled, not too much, just enough to make him look sexy. She smiled at the thought. It was really not the moment for this kind of idea. Then she saw his scars. Two wounds around his chest. She couldn't stop her hand from reaching out. She softly touched it with her fingers. He shivered under her touch.

She stayed next to him the whole night, checking every second if he was still breathing. He had to live. Not only for her to not be alone again, but because she couldn't bear to live knowing he'd died because of her. His body was shaking, he probably had fever. She ran to the river many times during the night to keep him cool. Alexandra had spent the whole night starring with anxiety at Lucas. She was so afraid to see him stop breathing; she couldn't take her eyes away from him. He looked like a child, exhausted by the fever, slurring in his sleep. When dawn arrived, she was exhausted, she couldn't fight anymore and fell asleep, next to him.


	4. Sometimes you just have to live

**Sometimes you just have to live**

When Lucas woke up, it was noon. His first thought was about the previous night. He remembered the attack of the slasher and instinctively reached for his shoulder with his hand. Somebody had bandaged it. Then, he noticed he was not alone in his bed. He was wrapped in Alexandra's arms.

"Alex?"

"Mmm…"

"Alex…" He sighed.

"What?" She yawned.

"I can't move."

"Oh sorry I didn't mean… I… Sorry," she jumped out of the bed "I think I fell asleep and…" She was all confused, struggling to find a good reason. It made Lucas smile.

"What?" She said when she noticed it.

"Nothing," he smirked. He hardly sat up. Alexandra came next to him to help him. Lucas grabbed his head in his hands. He felt dizzy.

"How do you feel?" Alexandra looked worried.

"Like a dinosaur had sat on my head," he replied softly.

"Actually, it's nearly what happened," she tried to joke. He gave her disbelieving look.

"Sorry," she winced. "Do you want some water?" She didn't wait for his answer and brought him some. He drank it. It did him good. Lucas looked at his bandages.

"I did my best," she winced again, anxious. "But it's still bleeding. You need to see a doctor," she stated.

It made him chuckle. "Do you see a doctor anywhere?"

She didn't answer, feeling utterly stupid. Lucas started to take the bandages off. He winced in pain. Alexandra gently put her hands on his.

"I'll do it," she told him.

He nodded. He knew he could do it but it would hurt less if she did it. Alexandra tried to be as delicate as possible, going slowly, carefully. Her eyes widened when she saw the wound.

"It doesn't look good…" she said with anxiety in her voice.

"I need stitches."

"Stiches?"

"Yes stitches." He stated, looking intensively at her.

"Oh no, no I won't do that. I'm not a doctor," she suddenly said as she realized he was asking her to do it.

"You have to do it. I can't do it myself can I?"

"No," she firmly said, her arms crossed.

"Alex, go get a needle and thread. You'll find in the closet there," he gestured to her.

She didn't move.

"Go!"

She scowled at him but did what he asked her. She put the needle and the thread on the bed.

"Ok, come on," he said, patting the place next to him on the bed.

She shook her head, arms back crossed.

"Alex," he harshly said.

"No, I can't do that. I'm going to hurt you. It's going to be a mess," she wept, tears running on her face, her voice shaking.

"If you don't do it, it's going to get infected and I'm going to die. Is it what you want?"

"If I wanted you dead I would have left you there," she spat.

Lucas observed her for a minute. She didn't want to do it. Not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't want to hurt him. She looked panicked.

"Alex," he calmly said. "I need you to do it, please." He was not used to say please or to beg someone to do something he wanted to. But Alexandra needed him to be calm. He had to ease his temper.

She deliberated in her head. She knew she had to do it. Otherwise he was going to die. His wound was all swollen and dark. But she was so afraid to injure him more. She was not a doctor, she didn't trust her enough for that.

Lucas watched her while she was thinking. It was like she was struggling to decide what to do. She eventually looked back at him, her eyes full of concern, but determined. Lucas was startled again. Her eyes… Just like her mother the day she had saved him, chosen him instead of her. She was ready to help him even if it was clearly painful for her.

"Ok." She simply said. She sat next to him, crossed the thread into the needle. "Tell me what to do," she commanded him, ready.

Lucas explained to her how to stitch his wound. She took a deep breath and started to sew his skin. He clenched his teeth the whole way. She didn't look at him, too afraid to see his pain. She never stopped, even when he let escape a groan. When she eventually finished and bandaged his shoulder, Lucas lay down on the bed, struck with pain. Alexandra did the same, exhausted. Lucas's shoulder made him suffer greatly. The pain was so strong that he eventually fainted. He would wake up occasionally, but the presence of Alexandra next to him was something reassuring. He fell asleep again immediately. When he woke up the next day, Alexandra was sat in the corner of the room, watching him, biting her lips, fidgeting her fingers, anxiety and distress on her face.

"What?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"How are you doing today?" She asked him, bringing him some water.

"It hurts. But it's better than it was." Lucas noticed two bags in a corner. Alexandra followed his gaze.

"I went looking for them. I have found them not far from where you had left them. Of course there was no more food in it. But I was able to save your notes. They were the most important, right?"

"Yes, they were."

Lucas had a hard time believing that Alexandra had done all this for him. She had returned in the jungle for his notes. He was grateful but did not know how to tell her or show her. He looked at her carefully, thoroughly. She didn't meet his gaze. Actually, Lucas thought she was avoiding it.

Alexandra had woken up before dawn that day. She had spent her night thinking about what had happened to Lucas, why it had happened. She had felt guilty. They had fought because he had lost his notes. She had to find them. It was her duty. Lucas was still asleep. She had enough time to go back where they had lost the bags and come back before noon. She was almost certain she knew the track to get there. She had discretely left him and had ran outside. When she had finally found them, she had been disappointed to realize that animals had torn the bags and taken what was in it. However, looking closer, she had seen that there was a pocket intact, she had opened it and jumped for joy. The notes were still there. The return journey was faster than the journey there. When she arrived, Lucas was still sleeping. She had silently sat on a chair in a corner, looking at him. He only woke up an hour after she had come back.

"You need to rest," she stated. "I'll go and grab some fruits for lunch." She left before he could reply. She had hoped the whole night he would wake up. She didn't want him to die. Now he was fine, she felt relief. But she hadn't thought about after. They hadn't really talked since their row. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

When she came back, Lucas was sitting on the bed, his back against the wall.

"I found some fruits. I do not know if they are edible, "Alexandra said, spreading the fruit on the bed, sitting at the end of the bed, staring at them.

Alexandra looked miserable. Lucas was not sure why. Maybe she resented him for having forced her to help him? Maybe she regretted saving him?

"Alex, look at me," he suddenly ordered her.

She bit her lips, unsure what to do. Lucas slipped beside her and lifted her chin with his hand, cupping her face, forcing her to look at him.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"Because…" She stopped and took a deep breath. She was afraid to cry. "Because I've been afraid to lose you. I've prayed for you not to die. I… I didn't know what to do. I've never felt like this before. And now I'm afraid you'll ask me to go because it's all my fault."

Lucas could hear the distress in her voice. Actually, she had been so scared to lose him that she didn't know how to be with him now. She was not afraid of him, but afraid of his reaction. He put his hands on hers.

"You did your best and you did well. I'm glad I have you with me." He reassured her.

"So you're not going to leave me here, are you?" She asked sadly.

"No. I won't abandon you," he said firmly.

She smiled widely, throwing herself into his arms, happy. "Thank you!"

"Ouch!"

"Oh sorry," she said, looking quickly to his bandage.

"It's ok," he sighed. "How could I leave you there when you don't even know how to differentiate an edible fruit from a poison one."

She put her palms on his cheeks. "You are my savior," she teased, smiling again, her eyes bright, back to normal. He couldn't suppress to smile when she was happy like that.

"And anyway, I need my favorite doctor with me, just in case another slasher wants to play with me," he teased back.


	5. Do you know what fun is ?

**Do you know what fun is?**

She took care of him during the next 2 days, changed his bandages, fed him. On the fifth day, he had been able to stand up and walk. On the sixth, it was like nothing had happened. She had slept on the ground, telling him he needed to rest in the bed. Lucas had tried to tell her it was stupid and that they could share the bed, but she didn't want to. She was too afraid to wrapping around him in her sleep. She didn't want this to happen again. She was not in control when she slept. She didn't want to hurt him by touching his wound. But the truth was she didn't want to be too close of him. She liked his warm body too much. It gave her cravings she had difficulty controlling. Lucas didn't know why she didn't want to be with him in the bed. He had few theories but none of them seemed to be a good one. She had kept saying she was ok on the ground. Lucas was not foolish enough to believe her.

They were standing next to the pool of the waterfall. Lucas was shirtless, enjoying the sun. He had taken off his bandage, drying his wound in the warm air. As usual, Alexandra was talking. Lucas sighed.

"If I look in the dictionary at the word 'talkative', I'm sure there is your picture," he teased.

"You know what? I think you have spent too much time on your own in the jungle. You were too busy playing the crazy scientist. You don't know how to be fun anymore. Or maybe you've never been?" she teased back.

"How would you know that?" He smirked.

She stepped closer to him, her gaze locked into his and gently put her palms on his chest. Lucas stiffened under her touch.

"Because…" Then she pushed him in the pool. She just couldn't stop laughing. He hadn't seen it coming. She beamed, pleased with her joke. But Lucas did not go back to the surface. Her smile faded, concerned. She approached the water to see if she could see him. Suddenly he reappeared, a meter away from her, a strange expression on his face.

"Oh no no no wait, it was a joke you know," she started to say as he stepped closer to her. She tried to run but he caught her, she felt his muscled arms around her waist, pulling her in the air. She couldn't touch the ground anymore. She tried to free herself but his grip was too tight, he was too strong.

"So I'm not fun, am I?", he whispered to her ear, a crooked smile on his face.

He carried her and threw her in the pool. He couldn't do anything but smile, feeling happy for the first time in months, years… Lucas had felt his heart race when she had touched his chest. There was something really attractive about her. Lucas was not used to these kind of feelings. Everything seemed new when he was with her. It was like he could be himself freely with her. She brought out the best of him. Alexandra leaned out of the water, a huge smile on her face, eyes bright with excitement.

"So you do know how to be fun!" She laughed. Lucas beamed at her, proud of himself.

"There is a lot about me you don't know yet," he smirked.

Alexandra came out from the pool. Her clothes soaked. She took her shirt and jeans off. Lucas's mouth opened in disbelief. He couldn't stop to stare at her.

"Close your mouth, I can see drool on your chin," she laughed. "There is a lot about me you don't know either," she added just before jumping back in the water.

Alexandra thanked herself for having dressed in nice black underwear the day she had walked into the portal. She wanted to swim and she couldn't do it with her clothes on. She had loved to see the way Lucas had reacted when she had taken her clothes off. Boys! They always try to show how sure they are, but it was so easy to surprise them.

Lucas was amazed. He knew Alexandra was pretty. She was clearly the kind of pure beauty. No need of make up or sophistication. She was naturally pretty. But there, he had just realized how sexy she was too. She was thin but not skinny. Muscled. And her underwear was really suggestive.

"Are you going to stare at me all the day or are you going to join me?" She asked him, waking him up from his daydream.

Lucas didn't wait too long before taking his trousers off and jumping into the pool too. They spent the afternoon swimming and jumping in the water like they were 5 years old. They both enjoyed the day.

It was dark now. They had dressed again. They were sitting in front of the fire, trying to get warmer in the fresh night.

"What's your story?" asked Lucas. "Tell me more about you, I'm curious."

Alexandra deliberated in her head. "I tell you mine if you tell me yours."

Lucas thought about it and agreed.

"Well, what do you want to know exactly?"

"I don't know… Hmm, how old are you?"

"I'm 21."

"You look younger."

"How old are you?"

"25."

"You look older" she smiled. "Because of the beard I guess! But it suits you. You look sexy like that!" He smiled crookedly to her. It dazzled her. She didn't know why she couldn't resist telling him the truth all the time.

"Tell me how was your life before? How were your parents? How was it in 2012 in France?... You know, tell me who you are."

"Ok. Mmmm. My parents are…" she stopped "were scientists. They've been missing for 7 years now, I was 14. I don't know what happened to them. I stayed in their house, just in case, you know, they would come back one day. I have no brother or sister. My grandmother took care of me when I ended up alone. She died 6 months ago, just after my birthday. I had to take care of myself on my own. But I did quite well actually," she smiled sadly. "I studied literature and English, as you saw, I know how to speak english! I saved some money thanks to a part time job. I ride horses, I have a dog, I love animals, I think they are more honest than humans. They can't lie. I have friends and I like party with them. I like… to read books, watch movies, listen to music and also I know how to cook, or at least I try..."

Lucas listened to her, talking faster as she explained her childhood with her parents and how she missed them a lot and still hoped they were alive, somewhere. She was generous and obviously a good friend who's there when you need one. She had a big heart, she was maybe too naïve, but she assumed it. She wanted to see the best in people. Lucas had never listened to somebody like that before. He listened to her carefully, amazed how beautiful she was. Sadness was evident in her eyes when she had told about her parents and grandmother. Happiness replaced it when she had mentioned her friends and animals. She had beautiful eyes and a truly bright smile.

"Your turn now!" She smirked.

"It's late now, we should sleep."

"A deal is a deal Taylor!" She replied, pretending to scold him, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ok, it's gonna be long," he sighed.

"Never mind! I have nowhere else to go anyway!"

It was her turn to listen to his story. She didn't say a word, recording everything he said, trying to figure out who he was as a child and how he became the man he was now. Lucas told her everything, his childhood with his parents, his mother's death, how his father always complained about him, how he banished him, how he lived with the Sixers and the Phoenix group, how he took Terra Nova from him and how he lost it. He even talked about Skye, how he believed in her and how she betrayed him, shot him twice. However, he didn't say he had been attracted to her, he kept that to himself. He felt so relieved when he had told his whole story to Alexandra, his version of the story. So many people had only heard his father's story. She was different, she didn't know him but she believed him, trusted him. She didn't judge him about the hatred he had for his father, she said she understood why, even if she thought he should move on, she understood him.

Alexandra fell asleep just after his story. She had fought until the end to stay awake, greedy to know more and more about Lucas. Even with the cold air that was brushing her hair, she felt warm that night. She realized Lucas had come close to her, wrapping her with his arms. His warm body tightened around hers as she suppressed a shiver. She didn't worry about having him close to her. He was a good man, she was sure of it, no matter what he thought of himself or what people had said about him. He needed someone to care about him so he could care about the others.

Lucas had seen her shivering and couldn't bear to see her like that. He had hesitated to come closer. It had been a while since he actually had a woman in his life. He was not used to it, not sure what was allowed and what was forbidden. The women he had met in the past were just one night stands. He didn't have to talk to them, to protect them or even less care for them. They had been there only for his pleasure. When she was fully asleep, he came next to her and lay down behind her, wrapping her in his arm. He felt her shivering again and he tightened his embrace. She didn't pull away from him. He even had the feeling she came closer. Maybe it was his own imagination though, the idea didn't disgust him at all. That night, they both slept well, peacefully.

"Morning sleeper" a husky voice said.

"Morning" she murmured, keeping her eyes shut.

"It's time to wake up Alex, we need to keep going," Lucas whispered.

She slightly opened her eyes, the light of the sun hurting her eyes. "Noooo please, just a little bit more," she begged, turning around, hiding her head in his chest.

She felt him chuckle, but he didn't take his arms off of her. She felt secure there, wrapped in his arms, her nose hidden in his chest. She could smell his musky, male, scent. She thought he smelled good. She could also feel how muscled and strong he was. She smiled. He kissed gently her forehead.

"Come on, be a good girl!" He teased.

"Yeah, that's me, the good girl," she sighed turning on her back, stretching her body. He stood up, brushed his clothes and went to the river to wash his face. She followed him. The fresh water on her face woke her up.

"Where are we heading today?" she dared to ask.

"Today is our last day. I take you to the camp I told you about." Alexandra was happy to go to the camp. She would meet new people there. Meanwhile, she was sad. Her private time with Lucas will be over soon.

"Is it far away from here? Do we have to leave now?"

"Yes and yes, so hurry up, we don't have much time."

"Ok," she sighed. He walked away back to what was left from their fire.

"Do you know that you even managed to talk during your sleep?" He asked.

"Well I can't control that, can I?" She said.

"You talked last night."

A dread though made her shiver.

"Hang on, what did I say?" She asked, worried.

"Nothing really... Just my name," he smirked meeting her gaze. She turned her head away so he couldn't see her cheeks flushed.

"Well that's not so strange, you ask me to shut up all the time, you're the only person I know here, who else could I talk to?"

"Mmm mmm," he chuckled, a huge smile on his face. "Sure, sounds like a very good excuse to me!"


	6. Be my guest

Thank you everyone for your reviews! It's always a pleasure to read them! Let me know what you think of this new chapter! Let just say that this is the beginning of a long aventure for Lucas and Alex! Many chapters are coming soon! Don't forget to leave me a review! :) Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Be my guest<strong>

Lucas and Alexandra arrived at the Sixer's camp in the evening. Mira was waiting for Lucas and was quite surprised when she saw him arrive with this girl.

"I know now why you've been away so long," she spat, looking at her with disdain.

Alexandra glared at her. She already didn't like her. She looked like the kind of woman you couldn't trust, selfish. Her eyes were as dark as her skin. She clearly didn't want Alexandra to be here.

"Mira, don't talk about things you don't know," Lucas harshly said. "I've been attacked and she has saved me. She's my guest. Do I have to remind you that you are working for me and not the opposite? So she's your guest too. Be nice to her."

Mira didn't say a word. She didn't want to fight with Lucas. She had other things in mind.

"While you were… away," she said, looking suspiciously at Alexandra again. "We found a new place in the Badlands. There are things you should see. It might help you in your calculations."

"It will have to wait tomorrow. I have things to figure out first. Show Alexandra her bedroom."

"Which one?"

Lucas looked at Alexandra. "The empty one next to mine."

"Be my guest, Alexandra," Mira said coldly, showing her the way to her new home. Alexandra gave a questioning gaze to Lucas.

"It's ok," he nodded.

Just before Mira left, he grabbed her arm.

"Don't do anything to her. Don't touch her or I'll show you how mad I can be," he threatened her. She glared at him but didn't respond. He let her go, knowing she would obey.

Mira took Alexandra to a big tree house with 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room and a kitchen. Alexandra was amazed. It looked like a real house.

"This is you room," Mira told her, gesturing her arm.

"Thank you," she hardly answered.

"I don't know who you think you're fooling here," Mira said coldly. "I'll find out who you are." Mira said before leaving Alexandra. She didn't know where Lucas had found this girl, but she was sure she would only bring trouble.

Alexandra stayed frozen, shocked. Who did Mira think she was? She didn't even know her, how could she judge her? Alexandra felt lost. The exhaustion of the day caught up with her. She went to the bathroom and was happily surprised to find a shower with warm water. She remained in the shower until she felt her muscles relax. She was really happy to be able to wash. Bathing in the river was a good way to stay relatively clean, but taking a real shower with soap was a luxury. Her hair smelled good again, her skin had regained its original color. She wrapped herself in a towel, looking for clean clothes. She went quietly in the second bedroom. It should be Lucas'. It was tidy with the exception of his desk covered with papers. She cast a glance. They were covered with figures and drawings that she could not understand. She approached what looked like a closet. She opened it and found pants, t-shirts and few shirts. She took one and put it on. It was so long that it fit her like a nightgown. It would do. She didn't know when Lucas was going to come back. She decided she should sleep and enjoyed a night in a real bed. She went back to her bedroom, lay under the covers and fell asleep very quickly.

Lucas worked late in the headquarters. He had to write down all of his theories about the time fracture, how Alexandra had travelled from 2012 and all of the implications of it. When he arrived to his tree house, he found Alexandra asleep. He noticed she wore his shirt. She had pushed the sheets to the foot of her bed. His shirt showed her legs. He suppressed a smile. She looked sexy with it on her, a perfect beauty. He approached her and pulled the sheets over her. She looked peaceful. He couldn't resist kissing her forehead.

"Sleep well," he whispered. He went to the bathroom and had a shower before going to bed.

Alexandra woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. She had had a nightmare. She felt anguish running through her body as she remembered her nightmare: she was lost in the jungle, alone and no one knew she was there. Nobody would rescue her. It took her few minutes to remember where she was. She walked out of her bedroom to Lucas's. His door was not shut.

"Lucas?" she murmured.

No answer.

"Lucas, are you asleep?" She said louder.

"Yes," he sighed, half awake.

Lucas felt the gaze of Alexandra on him. He opened his eyes and sat up, leaning on his elbows. She was leaning against the door.

"What is it?"

"I can't sleep…" She winced. Lucas looked at her deeply. Her eyes were pleading him to find a solution.

"Do you want to sleep with me?" He asked after a minute, eyebrows furrowed.

She nodded sheepishly, a tiny smile on her face. Lucas lifted the blanket and beckoned her to come. She smiled, grateful. She approached him and slipped under the covers with him. He took her in his arms. She felt much better now. It felt natural to be back in his arms. She felt secure, protected. Lucas was oddly glad to have her in his bed. He actually felt comfortable with it. He took a deep breath, tightening his embrace, breathing in her fragrance. She fell asleep quickly. Lucas joined her few minutes after.

It was almost dawn when Lucas felt a presence in his bedroom. He quickly sat up. Mira was there, observing him.

"Are you ready to go now?" She simply asked.

Lucas silently stood up and walked to Mira, fury in his eyes.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to? Get out of this room immediately." He commanded her through gritted teeth.

"You have a job to do. There's no time for… this," she spat, waving her hand to Alexandra, still asleep.

"This is none of your business," he answered in an exasperated tone. He grasped her arm to drive her outside the room and shut the door before talking again.

"What's your problem?"

"I don't like this girl. She'll be no good for us. You have to focus on your work. Do you even know why she's here? Isn't it obvious? She's a threat to us. I bet she's a spy sent by your dear father."

"I don't need any advice from a woman who abandoned her own daughter," he said roughly. Lucas had already wondered if Alexandra was a spy. Maybe she was. If she was, she was very good at it. But Lucas couldn't explain why, he was sure she had told him the truth.

Mira glared at him, hurt. "I'll be waiting for you outside," she managed to say.

Lucas came back in the bedroom. His anger faded at the sight of Alexandra, still peacefully asleep. No, she couldn't be a threat. He was sure of it.

When Alexandra woke up, she found a note on the bedside table. "I had to leave. I'll be back soon. Breakfast is waiting for you in the kitchen. Lucas." Alexandra walked to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of the mountain of fruits on the table. A second note was next to it. "They are all edible!." It made her laugh. She sat and ate. It was good to eat. When she eventually was full up, she went to the bathroom, enjoyed a shower and got dressed. She was happily surprised to find out that somebody had cleaned her clothes. She noted in her mind that she had to thank him later for everything. Alexandra decided she could go out take a look. She slipped quietly out. Arriving at night, she had not realized how enormous the camp was. There were at least twenty tree houses. She noticed a dozen vehicles parked in the distance. Everyone seemed to be preparing to leave. She tried to see if she saw Lucas but could see nothing but soldiers scurrying for their tasks. She felt a little disappointed. She went on, determined to explore the camp. Lucas was not there and she would not remain confined waiting for him. She met many soldiers in uniform. She tried to speak to them but none of them replied. It was as if she did not exist. She ventured to the edge of the camp. Part of the camp was bounded by a cliff, another by a mountain, the rest was surrounded by wooden walls. She raised her head to try to see the top of the mountain. It was very high. No chance for someone to get out. Even less on the side of the cliff. There was at least a thirty meter drop. The only way out was the main entrance, guarded by 2 armed soldiers.

"Looking for an escape?" She heard a voice say behind her back.

"Nope. I'm just exploring the place," she replied. "Mira… It's Mira, right? Do you know where Lucas is?"

"Alex… I can call you Alex right?" she sarcastically asked. "Lucas is busy right now. Maybe you should wait for him in his house." It was more an order than a suggestion.

"Well, I might keep walking a little bit," Alexandra dared to tell her, testing her.

"As you wish," Mira stated, walking away. "But I should warn you," she added, stopping her walk, turning back to Alexandra. "You might have noticed that people here are not really gentle. It would be such a shame if something happened to this pretty little face of yours while you were out instead of wisely waiting inside Lucas's safe house."

"Well I guess it would be such a shame if Lucas had to know that you are one of the potential people who could hurt his guest, don't you think?" She challenged her. Mira stepped closer to her, rage in the eyes.

"Do not tempt me you idiotic little thing," she murmured roughly in her ear. Alexandra suppressed a shiver. This woman was scary. It was at this time that Lucas came. His gaze went to Alexandra then Mira, noticing the tension between the two women.

"What's going on here?" He asked disapproval in his voice.

"I was explaining to Alex how lucky she is to be here." Mira said, her gaze on her, daring Alexandra to say the opposite. Lucas didn't say a word but noticed how Alexandra had frowned when Mira had talked.

"I should probably let you work," Alexandra said, her gaze still locked into Mira's. She turned to leave, walking faster than she intended. She wanted to be away from her. Her presence was a constant anguish for her. Lucas gave a dark look at Mira and left without a word to reach for Alexandra.

"Hey! Alex! Hey, wait for me would you?" He reached her arm and spun her, meeting her lovely dark blue gaze.

"Good morning," he lightly said, head tilting, smiling. Alexandra's fear vanished at the sight of his smile.

"Good morning Lucas," she said, caressing his cheek with her hand. He put his arm on her shoulders and they started to walk casually.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thanks to you. By the way, thank you for the bed, for the breakfast, for my clothes… for everything".

"It was my pleasure," he teased.

"What's the plan for today then?" She happily asked.

"Actually, there is something I needed to tell you," he started to say. He stopped when he saw her smile faded, her face darken.

"You are leaving and I'm going to stay here, isn't it?" She stated.

"I won't be out long."

She sighed. "Can I come? I won't be a problem. I swear to you. I can even stop talking if it's what you want me to do."

"What I want you to do is to stay here while I'm away."

"I'd rather be with you," she pleaded.

"Why do you want to stay with me? Why do you even trust me?" His words came out harsher than he intended to.

"I feel very safe with you," she confessed. "Tell me why I shouldn't?"

"I did really bad things in the past. I'm not someone you can rely on or trust either."

"Well, I must be naïve but I do believe in you. You and I, we understand each other. You saved my life, I saved yours, I think you can agree on that: I relied on you and you did the same on me."

She made her point. She was right. How did that happen? When did he start to trust her and to actually care for her? Lucas had to focus on his goal : built another portal and take back Terra Nova, kill his father and make Skye pay for her betrayal. However, being with Alexandra in the jungle had been pleasurable, even if he had told her different at that time. He had enjoyed the time he had spent with her. It had nearly made him forget his plan…

"You are going to stay here. You'll be fine and safe." Lucas didn't really believe what he had said. He saw sadness in Alexandra's eyes just before she looked away.

"I'll come back to you as soon as possible," he said quickly. He didn't think he could say something like that, even if he did believe what he had just said.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes staring at him, trying to read his mind.

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Lucas touched her cheek with his hand, caressed it with his thumb and left.

"Don't do anything reckless during my absence," he felt the necessity to add.

He didn't really want to leave her in the camp. He didn't trust Mira to look after her. But he had to go. They had found a new vestige in the Badlands and he needed to see it. Lucas had never understood why Alexandra felt safe with him. But now he thought about it, he realized he had been protective of her, really protective, almost possessive. The idea of leaving her with Mira displeased him greatly. Actually, he did not like the idea of her surrounded by the Sixers nor the Phoenix group. These soldiers were thieves, murderers, he could not trust them. He shuddered at the thought that Alex had to be around them every day. He'll be back soon he tried to reassure him. What could happen during his absence anyway ?

Alexandra looked Lucas as he went away. Her heart tightened. She didn't like it here, all those soldiers were looking at her as if she was a treat or something like that. They clearly didn't trust her. She clearly didn't trust them either. Mira was her main preoccupation. The woman had clearly made her uncomfortable, she was sure of it, she would hurt her when Lucas was gone. Lucas… He was her only protection here. And now he was gone. As the information sunk into her, she realized how alone, abandoned and unsecured she felt. She had to take care of herself now.


	7. Lost in the abyss

**Lost in the abyss**

Alexandra returned to the tree house of Lucas as soon he was gone. She would not stay in the middle of all those soldiers. Once inside, she looked around. She had a bad presentiment. She wanted to find a weapon, something to protect herself. She unearthed a knife and had barely time to hide it in her shoe before two soldiers arrived, followed closely by Mira.

"There she is," she spat. "Take her to the cell. I have to talk to her in private," she ordered.

The two soldiers approached Alexandra and seized her by the arm. She tried to struggle, but it was in vain.

"Let go of me!" She yelled.

Mira looked at Alexandra while the soldiers were taking her away, a smile on her face. She would beat the truth out of her.

Alexandra spent the day in a dark, cold and dirty cell. She was afraid. She was cold. Tears filled her eyes. How had she got there? It was a nightmare. She would wake up and everything would be better. She would be safe at her home. She would surely have a hangover with everything she had drunk the night before. Alcohol. It was surely the reason for this nightmare. She had to wake up. She had to. But deep down, she knew it seemed too real to be happening just in her head.

She was lost in her thoughts when a noise brought her back to reality. People were coming. She was shaking. She didn't know if it was because of the cold or of the scare. Probably both. She knew it was 1 in the morning. Once again, she felt lucky to have her watch with her. She tightened her hand on her heel, ready to use the knife if she had to. Light from the corridor blinded her when the door opened. She had no time to react, that already 2 guards had gripped her and tied her to a chair. Mira approached her and stopped just inches from her face.

"Now, it's just you and me!" she said coldly. Alexandra looked her straight in the eye and spat in her face.

"Go to hell!"

Mira glared at her and slapped her violently.

"It's not a good start for you girl," she added, slapping her again. "Ready to talk now?"

"Screw you!"

"Wrong answer!" She smiled before hit her in the stomach. "Don't play with me baby girl, you'll lose," she whispered to her. "Why has Taylor sent you here?"

"The only Taylor I know is the one who commanded you not to touch me," she challenged her.

"Well, see, the problem is, your dear Lucas is not here at the moment. I'm the one in charge here and I want answers. Cooperate or suffer. It's your choice to make."

"I can't tell you thing about a man I don't know."

"Such a shame. I barely thought you were clever enough to stop lying to me." She shook her head. "Now I have to help you remember the truth," she added, taking a bag next to her. She opened it and was happy to see Alexandra's face when she discovered what was in it.

"I like those tools you know. This knife is sharper than ever. It can cut a dino's skin. Those scissors could easily cut one of your lovely fingers. This hammer? Oh yes I love this one. Once, I broke the bones of a man into million pieces." Mira enjoyed to see Alexandra's face decomposed at the sight of every tools.

"He's going to kill you when he'll find out what you've done to me," Alexandra tried to threaten Mira.

"Oh sweetheart, I don't think you know very well Lucas as well as I know him. He's not going to save you. It's just you and me. And we've got plenty of time to spend together."

Mira took the knife and started to slowly cut the skin of Alexandra's arm. Alexandra screamed from the pain. The pain was real. She was not having a nightmare. It was definitely real.

"I swear to you I'm not a spy," she said between sobs. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"I'm not that stupid. I know Taylor is looking for us. He's smart enough to have sent you here."

"I've never met this man," she said through greeted teeth.

"Prove it," Mira challenged her.

"Honestly? I can't and you know that!" She glared at Mira.

"Such a shame," Mira replied, punching Alexandra's face. Alexandra was suffering too much. She wanted to die. It was too painful. She eventually blacked out.

The next night, Mira woke Alexandra by throwing a bucket of water in her face. Mira had left her tied to the chair. At first, Alexandra had been afraid. Afraid to be hurt. Afraid to die. After Mira had started to torture her, she had felt anger running through her veins. She wanted to live, she wanted to fight for her life. Now, it was like she couldn't feel anything. She couldn't stop laughing. Maybe it was madness. Maybe the pain had gone too far and she would never feel again. Every question Mira had asked had made her smile.

"Tell me why Taylor sent you and I might shorten your sufferings."

"Oh no, I'd rather be tortured a little bit more. I actually start to like it here," she joked, a smile on her face.

Mira looked at her incredulously. Alexandra's eyes reflected madness. She had Her hair mixed with her blood stuck on her face. Her right cheek was all swollen and bruised. Her lips were dried and cut in 3 parts. She had not eaten or drunk for 2 days now. Maybe Mira had pushed her too much. The girl was not going to say anything today.

"I'll come back for you later. You should think about what you're going to say next time. I won't accept wrong answers anymore," she threatened her before leaving. This time, the guards untied her before throwing her in a corner. Alexandra could feel how hurt her body was. Every move was hard. She tried to stand up but found out she couldn't. She looked at her watch. It was 6 in the morning. Mira would probably come back around midnight like before. Alexandra had already thought about how to escape. Now she had 18 hours to prepare it. She took a deep breath and stood up. She needed to be the healthiest she could. She would have to.

After 2 days of torture, Mira made the mistake Alexandra was waiting for on the third night. She came alone to talk to her. She asked the guard to go but didn't noticed that the door was still open. When Mira was close enough, Alexandra took all of the strength and courage she had left and punched Mira in the stomach. Shocked, Mira fell down. Alexandra reached her knife and took Mira's hair with her left hand, her right hand holding the knife against her back.

"Stand up," she commanded her. "And don't try something stupid, I won't hesitate to stab you," she added coldly.

They silently walked to the main entrance. Luckily, there were only the two guards Alexandra had seen on her first day. When they saw them, they automatically pointed their guns on them.

"It's ok, just let us go," Mira commanded.

"Do what she told you!" Alexandra abruptly said.

The guards moved and let them past.

"Shut the gate," Alexandra yelled at them.

They looked at Mira who nodded. They closed the gate. Alexandra didn't wait too long before hitting Mira's neck so she fell down and ran away. Alexandra ran as quickly as her legs accepted it. She heard shouting and gunshots behind her. She ran faster, afraid it was for her. She was running glancing behind her when she hit something. It propelled her, falling on her back, gasping. She looked at what she had struck. There in front of her stood a man. With his white hair and beard cut well, he must have 55 or 60. Despite the darkness, Alexandra noticed immediately his steel blue eyes, clear and penetrating.

Commander Taylor had spent the last months afraid to find his son. Dead or alive, he wasn't sure what was worse. Their last meeting had been horrible. His own flesh and blood had tried to kill him. Skye had shot Lucas to save him. Regardless, Lucas was still is son. He would always be. Taylor couldn't hate his son. Their relationship had always been complicated since his mother had died. Ayani was the only one who knew how to calm Lucas. Taylor missed her so much. Especially since Taylor had banished Lucas. She would have found a solution to help Lucas, to help Taylor. Taylor was lost without her. Since Lucas had killed Alicia Washington, it was worse. Wash had helped Taylor to survive without Ayani. Now she was gone too, Taylor was alone. The only family left was his son and Skye. Skye… She was as afraid as him to find out what had happened with Lucas. She probably wanted Lucas to be alive so she wouldn't be a murderer.

Taylor wanted to find the sixers and the Phoenix group. He wanted this war to be over. Now the portal was broken, there was no way out for them. If they didn't want to be with them, they were against them. After weeks of tracking, he had found their camp. He had decided they would attack them at night. He was ready to order the attack when he saw this girl. Definitely not a soldier. She was with Mira. It was too dark to see exactly what she was doing but they were both walking to the main entrance. Once outside of the gate, the girl had kicked Mira and ran away.

"Ok guys, now!" Taylor yelled at his soldiers. They all ran to the camp, except for Taylor. He ran to the opposite direction, looking for the girl he had seen escape from the camp.

The battle had ended quickly. Most of the sixers were asleep when they attacked them. The ones who surrendered had been made prisoners. The others had run away or been killed. Mira had escaped the attack. Mira was back by then, grabbing what she could carry with her, ready to go to a new camp, when Lucas and the rest of the phoenix group came back from their mission to the Badlands.

"What happened here?" Lucas yelled in fury.

"The little French girl of yours was a spy. The minute you left, Taylor attacked us," Mira replied coldly.

"My dear father..." He mumbled, cold anger in his voice, fury burning in his eyes. "What have you done?" He wondered to himself, shaking his head.

"Where is she?" He asked to Mira.

"Who?"

"Who do you think I'm talking about?" He shouted.

"She's with them now."

"Damn it!" He yelled out.

He should have never been gone. None of it would have happened. And there he was, betrayed again. Betrayed by a girl he took care of. Beaten by his father. He had an unpleasant feeling of deja vu.


	8. A new home

Thanks everyone for your reviews ! I know "Damn Mira!" Hopefully, people always get what they deserve in the end don't they…? I'm so happy to read your comments! Especially when you react how I hoped you would! Please, do continue!

I'm sorry it took me a week before to update. Actually my chapter 8 was too big so I created a chapter 9 which was not expected! So here you can read chapter 8, chapter 9 is coming really soon and for your great pleasure, chapter 10 might also be ready for the week-end!

To Emtheunicorn : thank you so much for your help! It's always nice to have someone to correct my texts!

* * *

><p>When Taylor had found Alexandra, she had tried to run away from him. He had to convince her he was not going to hurt her. She was a mess, covered in blood, her own blood. She was pale and obviously exhausted. Once the attack had been over, he had brought her back with him. She had not said a single word the whole way back to Terra Nova.<p>

"This girl is in shock and need some rest," Jim Shannon stated to Taylor.

He nodded. "I'll give her time before questioning her."

"She can come to my home. I'm sure it's not going to be a problem. I don't think she would be a danger to my family."

"Take her to your wife first. I want her to be checked by a doctor. Then, if the girl is ok, she can go with you."

Jim looked at Alexandra. He was not sure he could touch her. He stood just in front of her. She looked away but he was sure she was listening. "Let's go to the infirmary ok?" Alexandra didn't react. Jim held out his arm, hand open, to help her going out of the car . She gave him a blank look. She quickly looked at his arm and his face and then returned to his arm. She held out her hand and placed it gently in his. Without a word she followed him to the infirmary, her hand still in his. Jim did not open his hand, aware of the support he gave her.

Elisabeth Shannon reacted the same way that her husband. She felt pity when she met Alexandra. Her body was covered in bruised and cuts, she was dehydrated and needed to eat. After her examination, Alexandra had been allowed to go to the Shannon's house.

"You can use the shower. Here there's a towel. You'll find soap there," Dr Shannon explained to a speechless Alexandra. "Ok, I think I showed you everything you need. I'll leave you ok? I'm right there if you need anything," she added before closing the door.

The hot water burnt her body but it felt good. Her blood mixed with the dirt made the water become dark brown. Tears were running down her cheeks but you couldn't tell because of the water. She cried silently, staying under the water until her skin was so red she had to stop. Maddy Shannon had offered to give her some pyjamas and some clothes. Alexandra was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as Dr Shannon showedher the bed she would sleep in. She slept 24 hours before Dr Shannon thought it was enough and woke her up. Alexandra had not talked since she had arrived. Now Taylor wanted to see her. She would have to talk.

"What's your name?"

Alexandra didn't answer. Her arms were crossed, her gaze fixed on the ground, lips pursed.

"I'm not your enemy," he stated. "My name is Commander Nathaniel Taylor. Tell me, what's your name?"

She looked at him straight in the eyes when he said his name, her eyes widened. Taylor. It was Lucas's father.

"Do we know each other?" He asked, suspicious.

"I've heard your name before," she paused, her voice croaking. "When Mira was torturing me."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Taylor said calmly, truly sorry. "Listen, you need to tell us what happened to you, how you got there. We are here to help you, but we need to get to know you," he pleaded her.

Alexandra thought about it in her head. She knew she had to talk one day.

"My name is Alexandra. Alexandra Paris. I'm 21. I walked into the portal few weeks ago from France. I was in 2012. I lived 5 days on my own in the jungle before a man found me," she paused. "A soldier," she added. It was not the entire truth but she was not going to involve Lucas in this already complicated situation. She didn't want them to know about Lucas. She didn't want to put him in danger. She skipped the whole Lucas' part. "He brought me back to his camp. That's when I met Mira. She was sure that I was one of your spies. She asked me questions about things I didn't know about. She tortured me. When you found me, I had just escaped from her." It was a summary, but it was enough. Alexandra had said every important thing they needed. She was not going to say more.

Taylor waved at a guard and murmured something to him. Then the guard went away.

"There were only 20 soldiers at the camp. Do you know where were the others?"

"They had left 2 days before." She answered simply.

"Where were they headed?"

"A place called The Badlands? Something like that."

Taylor frowned. "Do you know why?"

"I've heard that they had found something they needed to bring back." Again, it was not the entire truth but she was not really lying, she was just not telling the whole truth.

"Where is she?" A voice suddenly asked behind her.

"Ah Malcolm," Taylor welcomed the man. "Alexandra Paris, this is Dr Malcolm Wallace, the chief science officer for the Terra Nova colony."

"Is it her?" Malcolm asked, staring at Alexandra.

"Yes it is."

"She looks normal," he stated.

"And 'she' can hear you," Alexandra said in disbelief. Malcolm suddenly realized how rude he had been.

"Sorry, I was just so excited to meet you."

Alexandra widened her eyes. "Excited?"

"Uh… Not really excited… I mean…" Malcolm was clearly embarrassed now.

"He's here because I asked him to come. He's working on a new portal and I've assumed you two should meet." Taylor interrupted them.

"Why?" Alexandra didn't know how she could help with it.

"Because I noticed a time fracture almost 2 weeks ago which was different from ours. And now you're here! It means a lot."

"So you do believe me?" Alexandra felt relieved. Like Lucas, they knew it was possible.

"Yes I do. Well, I can't prove where it was from. But I'm sure it was from the 1st of January 2012."

Alexandra let out a deep sigh. She had not noticed that she was holding her breath. She stepped closer to Malcolm, eager to know more.

"How can you explain it?"

"I can only guess. Probably a wrong calculation. But it also means that somebody is trying to reopen a portal somewhere."

"Who?"

"It's what we have to find out," Taylor interjected. Alexandra looked deeply in the commander's eyes. They were cold blue eyes but she could see tenderness in them.

"What are you going to do with me now?" She was startled to hear her voice was shaking. Alexandra wished to stay. She wanted to stay away from the jungle, away from Mira.

"Well, if the Shannon's are ok with it, you can stay with them…" Taylor started to say. Alexandra burst in tears. She had held in so much during the last days. Taylor arched his eyebrows in surprise. He was not expecting this kind of reaction.

"Thank you," she said between sobs. Taylor came next to her and put his hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"Terra Nova is about second chances. You are welcome here."

It didn't take Alexandra too long to appreciate the Shannon's. Zoe and Maddy were the perfect sisters she never had. Elizabeth and Jim were kind to her. They treated her as a member of the family. Josh was nice to her too, but more distant. At first, she had thought it was because he didn't like her. But one day she had discovered it was because of his friend, Skye. Alexandra had met her few times and she seemed really suspicious.

When Commander Taylor had come back to Terra Nova with this new girl, Skye had not liked it. She was sure she was a Sixer's spy. How could that be different? But Taylor obviously believed her story. Her story was surely fake and full of incoherencies. A big light and suddenly she was there? Honestly, who could believe that? Obviously Taylor did. Skye didn't know why it bothered her, there was no room for her in Taylor's heart. Now everything was back to normal. Although Taylor was not as friendly as before, they were family again. Actually, Skye knew she was more upset to know that Alexandra was living with Josh. She had to admit it, she was a little bit jealous. Even after what she had been through, Alexandra was a pretty girl. And Josh truly liked her. Skye wanted to be with Josh. But since Kara died, he didn't seem to want a new girlfriend. She had spent every day with him and nothing had happened. He had never tried to get close to her. Skye was lost in her feelings and the arrival of this new girl was not helping.

Alexandra sat in front of the Shannon's house, Josh satnext to her. They didn't know what to do and they were clearly annoyed. Skye arrived, followed by Hunter and Tasha.

"Hi Josh!" She said lightly. "Alex," she nodded.

It was always like that. Sky would never say more than was necessary to Alexandra.

"What are you doing?" Josh asked.

"We are going OTG!" Hunter said.

"What does OTG mean?" Alexandra asked.

"Outside the Gates…" Tasha replied, a big smile on her face.

"Are you allowed to go OTG?" Alexandra asked, surprised.

"Not really," Josh whispered. "But we take that right!" He beamed. "Ok let's go then!" He happily said, standing up.

Alexandra didn't move, not sure she wanted to go.

"Aren't you coming?" Josh asked, realizing she had not gotten up.

"My last trip in the jungle was not a success…" She winced.

"It's going to be cool! Nothing to worry about," Tasha argued. "As long as we stay away from the slasher's territory it's perfectly safe."

Skye crossed her arms, eyes furrowed. Josh noticed it. He was a little bit tired of Skye's attitude when it came to Alexandra.

"What?" Josh whispered harshly through greeted teeth.

"Nothing. It's just... We don't even know her! How can we trust her not to tell Taylor?"

"That's ridiculous Skye and you know it," Josh whispered before walking back to Alexandra. Skye felt frustration growing inside of her. Alexandra could feel Skye's eyes boring into her, making her fidget uncomfortably. She didn't even know her, so why did this girl seem to have something against her?

"Come on Alex, I swear to you, it's going to be fine."

Alexandra deliberated. She didn't want to go but they all seemed to be sure it would be fine. And actually, she was bored of staying in Terra Nova. She needed some fresh air.

"Ok, I'm in," she smiled.

* * *

><p>This is a chapter without Lucas in it. I know it's not fair is it? But I promise you, he'll be back soon… very soon! Chapters 9 and 10 are on the way!<p> 


	9. Outside the gates

Ok ! Thanks everyone for your reviews! It helps me to write A LOT! This might not be the chapter you are expected (too short for some of you! lol) but it's a necessary one before chapter 10! I hope you'll enjoy this one! Can't wait to read your reviews!

* * *

><p><strong>Outside the gates<strong>

They all rolled under the wood fence quickly and ran to the jungle. Skye didn't like having Alexandra with them. But she had a plan. She would prove to Josh that Alexandra was not as good as he thought. They walked during a long time before they reached a waterfall. This time, they didn't have a rover with them. After what had happened on their last trip OTG, Commander Taylor had made sure that the cars would stay under his control.

"Welcome to Snakehead falls!" Josh beamed.

"Wow that's impressive," Alexandra was amazed.

"And you have not seen it all yet!" Hunter smiled. "We've made our own alcohol!"

"You what?"

"Yeah, we've created a homemade alcohol with fruits!" Josh said proudly.

Alexandra looked at them, astonished, while Hunter was taking a barrel which was hidden behind a tree.

"The best part is over there," said Josh, taking Alexandra's hand in his, pulling her with him as he walked at the top of the falls.

"Wow it's very high!"

"Yes and you have to jump in it!" Skye beamed, challenging her.

"Oh I'm not sure I can…"

"See, she's a freak!" Skye mocked, smirking at Josh.

"Come on Alex, I go first then you go, ok?"

Alexandra nodded, not sure she would do it. Josh jumped in the water, screaming of excitement. Alexandra gulped. It was really high.

"A wimp are we?" Skye teased.

Alexandra glared at her and jumped. She didn't scream long before reaching the water. She quickly rushed into the water, then swam to the surface, gasping for air.

"Over here," Josh called her. Alexandra swam to him and noticed marks everywhere on the wall.

"What are they?"

"They're calculations," Skye said coldly. Alexandra let escape a little shriek of surprise. She had not seen her jump. "Don't try to understand, it's too complicated, unless you're a genius."

Alexandra gulped. She remembered Lucas's story about the marks he had left on rocks so his father could see them. She had had the feeling that somebody had followed them earlier. Now, knowing it was Lucas' place, she didn't feel right. As if they shouldn't be here. As if they didn't belong here.

"Come on girls, let's have a drink!" Josh said, trying to lighten the mood.

They all drank a lot, except for Alexandra. Last time she was drunk, she walked into a portal that sent her in the past. No, clearly, she wanted to stay in control. After an hour, they were all starting to get very drunk and Alexandra didn't like it. She didn't want to seem too serious but she was afraid they would not find their way back home. She needed them to be aware of that.

"Alex, you should have a drink! You look very worried!" said Hunter, suppressing a hiccup.

"Ok guys, I know you've been OTG a lot, but I spent weeks in the jungle and there's nothing to be thrilled about. Unlike you, I spent my days and nights out there and I know how dangerous it can be. You should really stop drinking."

"Look at her lecturing us! You really are not fun!" Skye said sarcastically.

"Skye is right this time," Josh teased. "You should enjoy your time with us. We are far away from my father the sheriff, far away from our dear Commander Taylor, far away from all of those stupid rules."

Alexandra shook her head. They were not going to be easy to control.

"Hang on, where's Tasha?" Alexandra asked, looking around her, searching for her.

"Hey guys! Look at me! I'm flying!" screamed a drunk Tasha from the top of the waterfall before jumping.

Tasha made a spectacular jump before falling into the water, head first. Everyone held their breath. She did not return to the surface. They exchanged glances, fearful. Suddenly they saw Tasha's body to the surface. Alexandra and Josh ran into the water. They reached her body and brought her back to shore. She was unconscious.

"Tasha! Tasha! Can you hear me!" Skye shouted.

"She's not breathing," Josh stated, his face pale.

"No… Not again," Hunter panicked.

Skye tried to awaken her but Tasha was still unconscious. Because of the alcohol, they were all in shock. Alexandra couldn't stay doing nothing. They were not going to see Tasha die in front of them.

"Move!" Alexandra commanded Skye. As Skye didn't move, she knelt down next to her and pushed her. She took a deep breath, clenched her fist and punched Tasha's chest the hardest she could. "Come on!" She yelled. As it did nothing, she tried again, harder this time. Tasha suddenly opened her eyes, spiting water, coughing, gasping for air. They all sighed loudly, relieved. Josh embraced Alexandra.

"You saved her!"

"Ok Josh, ok, just… Please let me go," Alexandra said firmly to Josh, trying to escape his too embarrassing embrace.

Skye glared at them. God she hated this girl. The fact that she had just saved her best friend was not helping. God, she hated her more. Tasha slowly sat, feeling dizzy.

"Do you have any headache, pain or anything else?" Skye asked, concerned.

"No," Tasha replied. "I just feel stupid."

"Ok, I don't think you have a concussion. Let us know if you feel strange ok?"

"Ok."

"And for the stupid part, well, I can't help you. You're very lucky. OTG is really not for you."

When Tasha eventually felt alright, they helped her to stand up. They headed to the colony. Hunter and Josh were holding Tasha. Skye was sulking behind them. Alexandra was fed up with her attitude. She slowed down her pace to walk next to her.

"What's wrong with you?" Alexandra asked, exasperated.

"Why would I tell you? Don't you have someone else to save somewhere?" Skye replied, angry.

"Keep talking, you'll get to the point eventually," Alexandra frowned.

"You and I we are not friends," Skye replied coldly.

"Right, because you have so many of them," Alexandra snapped.

She had made her point and Skye knew it. She had friends of course. But after people had known she had lied during all this time, they were distant.

"Look Skye. I don't really know why you don't like me. But I can assure you I don't want to fight with you."

"Why do you have to be that perfect? Always nice and gentle!" She spat.

"Perfect?" Alexandra couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"I really don't know why Josh is so thrilled about you," Skye mumbled.

"Hang on, is it about Josh? You're mad at me because of Josh?"

"Josh's girlfriend died few months ago and you are flirting with him like nothing had happened…"

Alexandra stopped her. "Wait Skye. Ok. Is it about loving Josh or something like that?" She asked, surprised. She saw in Skye's eyes she was right.

"How to say this without hurting Josh's feelings," she chuckled. "Hum… I'd rather be with a guy more mature."

"Josh is very mature for his age."

"Josh is almost 18. How old do you think I am? I'm 21! 22 in few months. He is far too young for me! I like guys who are a older than me!"

Skye looked at her. God, she was telling the truth! Skye felt utterly stupid. And now, she was probably going to tell Josh. It would get worse. Alexandra smiled at her.

"It's ok. I won't tell him."

Skye was startled. It was like she had read in her mind. "Thank you," she replied, ashamed.

"Are we ok now?"

"I think so."

They looked at each other, smiling. They had an agreement now. They would keep this a secret for them. Skye suddenly felt much better. In fact, she might end up appreciating Alexandra.

The rest of their walk was spent in silence. They were all exhausted when they finally arrived at the fence of Terra Nova. Alexandra came back home, she just wanted some peace. Josh went to Boylan's with the others. Alexandra had had enough excitement for the day. She had a shower and put her pyjamas on. She was reading the History of Terra Nova on a plex when she heard Mark talking to Jim.

"Commander wants to see you."

"I can't, I have Zoe to look after."

"I can baby sit her," Alexandra suddenly said.

"Really?" Jim's eyes narrowed.

"Yes. It's gonna be fine, isn't it Zoe?" She asked the girl, smiling at her.

"Yes sure!" She genuinely smiled.

"Ok, I'll tell Elisabeth. She'll come as soon as possible."

"It's ok. Take your time."

It didn't take long for Zoe to start asking Alexandra questions. Zoe was always really curious about everything and everyone.

"Where are your parents?"

"They went missing when I was a teen," she sadly answered.

"My dad was missing before but he came back."

"I'm glad he did." Alexandra gave her a warm smile. She really liked this little girl.

"Maybe your parents are going to come back like my daddy did?"

"Maybe!"

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"No I don't."

"So you're all alone? It's so sad." Zoe seemed to be deliberating something in her head then added "I can be your sister if you'd like?"

"Sweetheart! I'd be the happiest person in the world having you as my sister," she joyously replied. "Your parents, Josh and Maddy are really lucky to have you in their lives."

"And we are lucky to have you too." A voice said from behind her. Dr Shannon came next to them. "We really are," she added tenderly.

"Thank you," Alexandra replied, embracing Dr Shannon. "You don't know how much this means to me."

Alexandra should have been the happiest girl in the world. She liked it here. She had friends and what looked like a family. Instead, she felt sad. She would have liked to share that with someone who was missing. She remembered the calculations at Snakehead falls. She remembered this strange feeling that someone had followed them. She could not be totally happy, not knowing how Lucas was, where he was. Did he know what had happened to her? Had he searched for her? Did he even want to see her again? Alexandra thought about it until she fell asleep. But even in her sleep, those questions were tilting in her head. That night, she dreamt about the falls, about the marks on its wall, about the jungle, about Lucas, about their reunion. She was troubled all night, tossing and turning in her bed, calling his name, getting no answer.

* * *

><p>I know Lucas was not in this chapter was he? Hehe. Actually he might have been no? You'll find out in chapter 10. :)<p> 


	10. You found me

Hi everyone! This is the "famous" chapter you were all expecting I guess? This chapter 10 is longer than the others. Some of you might enjoyed it better! (I'm joking aubreee, I know you like it even when it's short!) I can't wait to read your reviews!

**You found me**

Commander Taylor had spent a lot of time with Alexandra. He was still annoyed at Skye for being a spy, even if he knew he owed her his life after Lucas had stabbed him. Though, Alexandra was different. She was clearly happy to spend time with him, talk about everything and learn from him. A month with her and he could consider her as a daughter. She was easy going, smiley and funny girl.

Alexandra had only been allowed to go OTG with the commander and she had enjoyed those times spent together. He reminded her of Lucas. She couldn't say it to him, but he and his son were so similar. and they didn't know it. That was so sad. It made her think about Lucas a lot. Where was he? Was he alright? He was gone, for sure. When she first arrived at Terra Nova, she had the feeling she was a prisoner. But she knew how dangerous the jungle could be. Now she made the most of it, enjoying the jungle, amazed by everything. Taylor had been good to her, he had taken her in, helped her to belong to Terra Nova, and he had succeeded.

She was not allowed to go OTG on her own, of course. But she had already gone OTG before. Only Tasha, Hunter, Josh and Skye knew it. After what had happened that day, they had kept it a secret. Josh, Skye and the others were nice to her, they trusted her. They were friends. They all had decided they could go OTG once a week. Not too far, of course, they didn't want any trouble. They thought being sober was enough to protect them. Hide and seek had been their new game for a week now and today was not an exception. Tasha was always with Hunter. They would protect each other if it was necessary. Skye, Josh and Alexandra could be alone for the game. Josh was counting and they all ran into the jungle. Alexandra knew a hidden place a little bit further away but that would do the trick. She wanted to win. She was running when a voice stopped her.

"Alexandra?"

She was startled and frozen. It wasn't one of her friends voice.

"Alex?"

She turned around and looked for where the voice had come. Suddenly her eyes met his deep green gaze.

"Lucas!" She smiled. She didn't think twice and ran and jumped into his arms. Lucas couldn't do anything other than wrap her in his arms.

"I thought I was never gonna see you again!" She was so happy to see him. "I missed you," she whispered to his ears. It made him tighten his embrace. Her cheek on his, her nose buried in his neck. She smelled his scent. It was as she remembered it. Intense.

Alexandra was the first to break their embrace. She opened her eyes and looked at Lucas, realizing how close he was to her. He had kept his arms around her, pressing her body against his. They stared at each other, breathing loudly, their mouths slightly open. His so amazing intense green eyes stuck on hers. She could feel the warmth of his body warming hers. She was shaking, suddenly overexcited. Lucas gazed quickly at her lips, then back to her eyes, then her lips again. She looked at him deeply before reaching his lips and kissing him. His lips were as she thought, soft and warm. He kissed her back hungrily. They roughly kissed each other. Lucas had one hand in her hair, the other on her waist, pulling her closer to his hips. Her hands grabbed his hair. Their kiss was a mix of pleasure, happiness and excitement from the reunion. They eventually broke their kiss, catching their breath.

She cupped his head in her hands, gently brushing his cheeks with her thumbs. "I thought I'd never see you again", she smiled sadly.

"I promised you I'd come back for you," he said with a crooked smile. She gave him back a genuine smile. Her heart was racing. She was so happy to see him again. And they had just kissed.

Lucas wasn't sure what kind of reaction he would have to seeing her again. She had betrayed him. He had become mad when Mira had told him what had happened. Alexandra had decided to stay with his father at Terra Nova. She was an enemy, a traitor. But when he had seen her huge smile when she had realized he was there, he had just lost it. He had forgotten every single word he wanted to say, he had forgotten how mad he was at her. And when she had run to him, he had felt so thrilled. He had been caught off guard when she had come to him, instead of running away. And their kiss… Her lips were smooth. When they had touched his, his body had been invaded by thousands of sensations. However, he had to punish her for her betrayal. She was his enemy, no matter how happy she was to see him again.

"What?" Alexandra asked with concern, eyes furrowed. His smile had fainted, eyes suddenly dark.

"You betrayed me," he said coldly.

"Me? Betray you?" She asked in disbelief.

"Mira told me everything." He told her.

Alexandra stiffened at the name. She tried to get out of his embrace but he kept her close.

"Mira? Do you even know what she has done to me?" She replied, anger and stress in her voice.

Lucas gazed at her deeply, looking for the truth in her eyes. A feeling of uncertainty suddenly invaded him. What if Mira had lied to him? No, she could not have done that to him. He would have seen it. Especially since the evidence was there. Alexandra lived at Terra Nova now, with his father. Alexandra noticed he was doubting himself.

"I swear to you; I didn't betray you. You have to believe me," she affirmed. "Deep down you know I'm not lying. I'm good at keeping secrets, but I'm not a good liar and you know it."

"Then why did you run away?"

"Why?" Her voice was suddenly hysterical. She pushed him and this time he let her go. "You might not be able to see it but Mira tortured me! The second you were gone the second after I was in jail, tortured!" She was screaming now, tears threatening to come.

Lucas had felt Alexandra stiffen in his arms when he had told her about Mira. He had thought she had been afraid because he knew the truth.

"Where were you? Where? You said you'd protect me! You said you'd take care of me! You'd promised I'd be safe! But you left me!"

Lucas didn't say a word but Alexandra was sure he knew she was not lying.

"Look at my arms, look!" she commanded him, pulling up her sleeves. "Can you see those scars?"

Lucas's eyes were sad, hurt, shocked and guilty all at once. His mouth slightly agape as he listened to her. He caught sight of the many white marks on both forearms. Scars from cuts.

"I healed well thanks to Dr Shannon, but I was a mess when your father found me."

Talking about his father brought Lucas back to reality.

"How can you explain that my father invaded us just when you left? It can't be a coincidence." He said harshly.

"Wait, I should be the one who's upset. I should be the one who's questioning you. I should be the one with doubts. You left me there. You abandoned me with her. How do I even know it was not your idea? I've always been loyal to you, always. I didn't even tell your father I knew you." She was too upset now. She didn't give Lucas the time to answer. "I thought I knew you. I've been a fool," she spat. "I have to go now. Otherwise they're going to look for me." She shook her head, distressed.

Lucas let her go. He didn't try to stop her. He didn't know what to say anyway. Everything she had said could be true. Actually, deep down, he knew it was probably true. Mira was used to lying. As far as he knew, Alexandra had never lied to him.

Alexandra had difficulties breathing. She was walking fast. She was so disappointed. She had wanted to see Lucas so much. And now, nothing had happened as she hoped it would. Their kiss had been perfect and all was destroyed because of Lucas's obsession. She was mad at him, mad at herself. How could it all go so wrong? She was not looking where she was headed when she bumped into Josh. "_Damn it_," she thought. "_I forgot the game_".

"Hi Josh! I guess you found me?" she tried to joke, embarrassed.

Josh didn't reply. His face reflected anger.

"Josh, what is it?" Alexandra asked, worried.

"I saw you earlier." He said coldly.

"You saw me?"

"I saw you with Lucas Taylor."

Alexandra's heart stopped. She stared at Josh, wondering what she could say to justify what he had seen. She opened her mouth to say something that never came.

"It's what I thought," said Josh, walking away.

"Hey wait, wait Josh, wait. I can explain it," Alexandra grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop.

"I hope your explanation is really good because from where I am, it sucks," Josh snapped.

"Ok. I know Lucas Taylor. He is the first man I met when I arrived and he saved my life. But it's all. Especially after what had happened at the Sixer's camp. I haven't seen him since I moved to Terra Nova. I swear to you." Alexandra begged him to believe her, like she had done a few minutes earlier with Lucas. Why did she still need to justify herself? Why people could not just take her word?

"Do you kiss every man that you've just met once?" His tone was really cold now. Alexandra had hoped he had not seen that part.

"I… I was not expecting to react like that ok? I'm not going to see him again. It was our first and last meeting."

"Honestly? You don't even believe what you're saying. It was more than just a kiss. I saw how you looked at each other. It was more than just gratitude."

"If you saw us then you probably saw how I reacted after that kiss!"

Indeed, Josh had seen her arguing, shouting at Lucas. It's actually why he didn't run back straight to Terra Nova to tell his father what had happened. He wanted to believe her but he couldn't decide what to do.

"If it's not that important to you, then you can tell the commander," he finally said.

"I can't. You know I can't. He doesn't want to hear about his son. It would hurt him to know this."

"You're only afraid he's going to be disappointed because you lied to him."

Alexandra pursed her lips. She didn't know what to say. Of course, she didn't want to hurt Taylor. But she also knew she would be hurt too. She didn't know how he would react.

"You tell him or I do," Josh said firmly.

"I'll do it," Alexandra quickly replied. She knew it would be worse if Josh did it.

"You will do what?" a voice asked.

They both turn to see Skye with hunter and Tasha.

"I'll count next time," Alexandra answered lightly. "Josh is too good at this game. He finds me all the time."

"It's late, let's go back to the colony," Josh said. "We all have important things to do today," he added, his eyes stuck on Alexandra.

Skye looked at Alexandra then at Josh. She knew something was up between the two but couldn't figure it out. However, she didn't ask what it was. She would probably know soon enough. Secrets don't live long in Terra Nova.

Alexandra knew she had to tell Taylor the truth. She didn't like it when she had to lie to him the first time they met, but it had been for a good reason. She walked to his headquarters and asked the guard to tell him she wanted to talk to him.

"Good afternoon Commander, Jim."

"Hi Alexandra. The guard said you wanted to talk to me. What is it?" Taylor asked, concerned.

"I have to tell you something I'm not proud of. But I think I owe you the truth about it." She started to say.

Taylor's eyebrows furrowed. Jim glanced at her and the Commander. It seemed to be a private conversation. He started to walk away to leave them alone when Alexandra asked him to stay.

"You can stay Jim, I'd like you to know the truth too."

"Go ahead then, I'm listening," Taylor gently said.

"You remember the first day we met, I told you a sixer found me in the jungle?"

He nodded.

"Well... I lied to you. Actually, it's not really a lie, it's just I didn't tell you everything," she paused, unsure now if she wanted to continue. She could feel his intense blue eyes staring at her.

"Carry on girl."

"The man who found me and saved me was Lucas."

Taylor froze, startled. He was not expecting this.

"Your son," she continued, not sure if he was even listening to her anymore. After a long pause, Taylor spoke again.

"Alexandra, I'm glad you told me the truth."

Alex let out a big sigh. She had not noticed she was holding her breath.

"However, I'm really disappointed. You lied to me, you lied to us. How do I know you haven't been lying about other things? Maybe you have spied for him? How can I trust you anymore?" His voice was cold, distant. Alexandra felt her heart sink.

"I… I told you the truth. I'm not lying and I didn't really lie. I haven't told you because I didn't know you at that time. Now I know you're a man of forgiveness, I should have told you before but here I am, I'm telling you now."

"What else you're not telling me? Why now?"

She gulped. She wasn't sure anymore of her plan. "I met him in the jungle this morning," she confessed.

"In the jungle? You talked to Lucas, a traitor, in the jungle? What were you even doing outside the gates? You can't choose what's right to tell me and what's not. You've been with the enemy, a murderer!" he shook his head, shocked. "I have no other choice that to banish you," he sighed.

Alexandra fell tears running on her face. "No! You can't do that!" she begged. "I'm going to die out there, is it what you want?" she asked, distressed.

"I'm sure my son will help you," he coldly spat. She glared at him, furious, disappointed.

"You don't know him like I do," she suddenly replied in a furious tone.

"Oh and how much is that?" he cut her off.

"Enough to know that you're wrong about him. He's not the man you say he is. Lucas can be generous, he can take care of the others, he can be trusted, he can be helpful, he... deserves a second chance."

"You think you know him, but you don't. I do. But I can see you already have your opinion about him..." He looked sadly at her. "Alexandra Paris, you are not welcome anymore in this colony. You are now a traitor to Terra Nova. You are not allowed to come here again. If you do, we will be forced to consider you as a danger." He gestured to Jim to take her away, staring at his desk.

"You told me Terra Nova was about second chances but I can see that when it comes to your son you're not that generous," she cried as Jim was taking her away.

Everybody stared at her as Jim lead her to the gate, wondering what was going on. Josh and Skye ran to the gate.

"Dad, what's going on?" Josh asked, concerned.

" Commander Taylor has decided to banish Alexandra. She is now a threat to this colony, you're not allowed to talk to her anymore." Jim's heart tightened when he said it. He thought Alexandra had been brave to tell Taylor the truth and now she was hardly thanked for it.

"Alex! Alex I'm so sorry, I…" Josh tried to apologize.

"It's ok. It had to be done anyway," she told him.

"Alexandra, be careful out there," Jim advised her. "Be careful with everything".

"Thank you Jim, thank you for everything," she sadly answered with a hoarse voice. She gave a last glance to the colony, to Jim, Josh and Skye, and walked away.

She walked for what seemed to her like ages. She finally made her way to the waterfalls. She had walked not knowing where she was headed, and there she was, back to Snakehead falls. She sat on a rock and started to cry. She was on her own now, again. She felt empty and used. How was she going to live now she had no home anymore? The night was cool. Alexandra had goosebumps. Between her tears and the cold she could not help trembling.

"What are you doing here?" A voice said behind her.

She turned her head and saw Lucas, standing next to her. She didn't reply, turning her head back, looking away. Lucas came slowly and sat next to her, silent.

"I've been looking for you," he said calmy after a moment.

"So you could have your revenge on me?" she quickly spat, her gaze still away.

"No. I was worried about you," he simply answered.

She turned her head to face him. "Why?"

"I believe you. I… I trust you enough to know that you didn't lie to me."

"You should have never had any doubt about it," she sighed, shaking her head.

"I know it now. I… I'm sorry," Lucas heard himself say. He was really not used to apologizing for anything. But here, in front of her, crying because of him, he couldn't find another thing to say. He was truly sorry. If he had known what Mira was up to, he would have never left her that day. Never. And things would be different now. Why did he always fuck everything up? He had to stop always ruining everything. And he was going to start now, with Alexandra. He owed her that. He knew he would not do it for anyone. But Alexandra was different. He knew it. To see her sad made him sad. It was a feeling quite new to him. Or at least, that he had not felt for a very long time.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm homeless," she chuckled sadly. "Your father, he… he banished me," she said as the tears came flooding out. She turned and flung herself at Lucas. He wrapped his arms around her immediately, soothing her.

"It's alright. I'm here now. I'm here," Lucas reassured her. "I won't let you down."

They talked a lot that night. They talked about what they were going to do, what they wanted to do. Lucas told her that he would stay with her, he would not go back to the Sixer's camp, he would be free to live his own life with her if she wanted him to. He had not let her out of his embrace their whole talk. Alexandra fell asleep in his arms, reassured to know that she would not be alone, reassured to know that he would protect her, reassured to know that he trusted her. Lucas felt relieved to have someone with him. She had chosen him. Not his father, not Terra Nova. She had said to him that she'd rather be in the jungle with him than at Terra Nova without him. They were together now, only the two of them, no matter what.


	11. Back to the beginning

First of all, thanks everyone for your reviews. You don't know how much it means to me! After a hard day at work, you make my day with your comments! There is chapter 11, let see how our two people handle their life in the jungle! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Back to the beginning<strong>

Alexandra had never really thought about what it was going to be like living in the jungle with Lucas. She had already experienced it but now it was suddenly more real. It was going to be her new life, maybe forever. When she woke up the next day, Lucas was staring at her. His glance was impenetrable.

"Morning?" She said, confused.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Are you ok?" She asked, eyes furrowed.

"Perfect. I was thinking a lot last night."

"About what?" She asked, while sitting cross–legged, facing him.

"About us." He stated. "We have to leave the falls. It's too visible. I know a safe place, you'll like it. It's only a day's walk." He spoke quickly as if he had to say everything fast in order to not forget anything. Apparently, he had thought a lot about it.

"I like it here," she winced.

"I know you've been here before with some teens from Terra Nova. They will come back. We can't stay here."

"I knew it! You've been following me!"

"What?" He was startled.

"You were there that day when we jumped into the falls, weren't you? I was sure someone had followed us."

"I saw you save that girl. But I was not following you. It happened I was there when you all arrived. I just observed you."

"Why you didn't show yourself?" She asked seriously.

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't understand."

"I know you knew I was there. Why you didn't try to come to me?"

"No, I didn't know you were there. I… I only guessed it was possible. Why didn't you show yourself?"

"I didn't know what I could do to you," he confessed.

"Meaning?"

"As you may recall, I was still thinking you betrayed me at the time," he replied harshly than he intended.

"Hang on, are we having an argument right now, Seriously? Didn't we agree last night I was not lying to you so you should have to stop being paranoid?"

"Does it sound like it?"

"Yes it does!"

Lucas had not seen it coming. Once again, he realized how he wasn't used to talking to 'normal' people.

"I didn't intend to."

"You know what? It's ok," she sighed. "It doesn't matter. It's my fault, I'm not a morning person. I want you to feel free to tell me what you've got in mind. Even if you're not good at saying it, ok?"

Lucas nodded. He had thought about what they were going to do for the most part of the night. Actually, it was when he had heard her call his name during her sleep that he had started to realize what her presence with him would imply. He had promised her that he would stay with her, but he had some things to deal with first, such as Mira, the Sixers and the Phoenix group. And it was not an easy task.

Alexandra knew he had not been sleeping a lot. The dark circles under his eyes betrayed his exhaustion. She could know by the expression on his face that he was worried about something. Being a genius was surely not easy every day. She felt sorry for him. His face was confused now. She rose and approached him to take him in her arms, in peace. She felt relieved when she felt him tighten his grip. For a moment, she had been afraid that he'd rejected her. She felt him relax in her arms. His muscles released him slowly from the pressure he had felt.

He sighed before taking a deep breath. Lucas liked the beneficial presence Alexandra had on him. However, it was all new to him and somehow, it frightened him. Lucas drew back his head slightly to meet Alexandra's gaze. He could get lost for hours looking at her beautiful blue intense eyes. Lucas wanted to lean closer, to kiss her again, to feel her lips on his again. But he was not sure she wanted to, knowing how he had reacted the first time, he would understand if she'd refused.

Alexandra had been the first to kiss Lucas and what had happened next had not been a success. She had decided she would let Lucas handle it next time. Only if he wanted to reiterate of course. Alexandra wondered if they were together as a couple or just as friends. Lucas had made no attempt to show her what he wanted them to be. In some ways, she knew him well, but at the same time, he was a mystery.

They kept staring at each other for a moment until Lucas slowly closed the gap between them and gently kissed her. She felt her cheeks blush. Her heart raced in her rib cage when his lips touched hers. They exchanged a long and deep kiss, their tongues dueling perfectly, their mouths fitting absolutely well. Lucas broke their kiss, panting. He laid his head against hers, his eyes shut. Alexandra felt relieved. He had kissed her. He wanted her the way she wanted him. He opened his eyes to see she was looking at him, her eyes bright, smiling. He couldn't stop him from smiling too.

"We have to go," he sighed.

"I know. I'm ready." She nodded.

He gave her a last quick kiss and took her hand. "Let's go, then."

It took them the whole day to reach their new home but it was worth the trip. They stopped twice to eat because Alexandra had asked him to. Eventually, Lucas stopped at night.

"We are here," he smiled.

In the middle of the jungle, near a river, a gigantic tree stood in the center of smaller trees. Lucas disappeared inside the massive trunk. Alexandra followed him, eyes wide open. Inside, the trunk was partially empty, giving access to a scale that took them to the top of the tree. Alexandra was stunned. The view from their new hiding place was breathtaking. They had a view of the river below, not far away was a mountain and they could see everything that was happening around them. It was like being in a tower, except that they were hidden and their shelter was made of wood. There was a large bed, a table, a chair and two big wooden boxes.

"What's in it?" Alexandra asked, showing the boxes with her hand.

"Clothes, toiletries and other stuff in this one," he gestured. "This one is for food. But it's empty so we have to fill it up!"

"I think I'm ok for tonight, if you are too?" Alexandra told him.

"Yes. I can wait until tomorrow before eating. Can you?" He was suspicious.

"Yeah I'm ok. It's not going to hurt me. I might lose some weight! It would not be a drama!" She joked.

"Ok, but I could go and grab some fruits if you'd like. Because if you're too lazy to go, I can," he mocked.

"I'm not lazy!" She smiled. "I'm perfectly ok," she tried to sound enthusiastic. But it didn't fool him though. A smile was playing around the edges of his lips.

"Tell me the truth," he smiled crookedly, looking her straight in the face, utilizing the full power of his intense green eyes.

"No it's… uh…," she gulped. He stepped closer to her.

"Yes?"

"It's just… I don't want you to go outside at night. It's dangerous out there," she confessed. It made him laugh out loud. She had never seen him laugh like that before.

"Stop it!" She smacked, half smiling. He took her head in his hand and kissed her softly.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'll be out for 15 minutes max. Ok?"

"Ok," she nodded.

He was on his way out when he turned back to her. "Would you do me a favour while I'm out?"

She pressed her lips together, staring at him through narrowed eyes, deciding. "Probably."

"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who attracts accidents like a magnet. So… Don't fall from this tree or drown in the river."

"Yeah I think I can handle that," she snapped, forcing a smile. She was sure she heard him laugh long after he was gone.

When Lucas came back, he found Alexandra sleeping in the bed. He put the food he had found in the box and leaned next to her. He slowly wrapped her to not awake her. He quickly fell asleep too, exhausted from their walk and from his last night spent awake.

The days that followed, Lucas showed Alexandra how to hunt and fish, how to cope alone. He was reluctant at first, but she insisted, saying he had to train her, just in case. Lucas wanted to be the only one who could protect her, but he knew it was not possible. The last time he had left, she had paid a high price. She was clever, Lucas had noticed it when they first met. But now, he could see she had abilities to learn. Not like the genius he was, more like skills that needed to be developed.

It was almost dawn and they had spent their night talking. Lucas had always thought he did not like to talk about him. The only times when he did, it was often to brag or make fun of others. He was surprised to realize how easy it was to talk with her. It was not annoying at all. He discovered that he actually was quite chatty.

"Tell me something I don't know about you." Alexandra asked Lucas.

"You first."

"Ok, I'll start but you have to get our breakfast," She bargained.

"Ok. Won't change anything will it?" he smirked. She smacked his arms.

"Piss off!" She laughed. "Ok. Mmm… When I was 3, I went on the highway with my bicycle!" She smiled, proud of herself.

"How did that happen?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

"My parents were working, as usual. They realized I was gone because it was too quiet in the street. Even the neighbors knew something was wrong!"

"I believe that!"

"A driver stopped and walked me back home."

"You've been lucky! Now I know that it's not only because of me. You've always been like that."

"Like what?"

"Reckless."

"I would not say reckless," she pretending to sulk. "Curious?"

"Fair enough." He smirked.

"Your turn!"

"Ok. A childhood story then. Mmm… When I was 8, my parents and I were in a military camp in Africa. One night, I sneaked out to see some lions I had caught sight of in the morning. I found them and realized that there were only babies. Their parents had left them, or so I thought at the time. I took one with me and ran away with it. I hid it in my cupboard. I didn't want my father to find out. The next morning, I discovered it was gone! I found my clothes cut apart and then I heard a scream from the kitchen. The lion cub was eating the food from the dish my mother had let fall. When she realized I brought it in, she didn't punish me. She explained to me we could not keep it with us, that his life was out with his family. She helped me to sneak out again and we released the lion cub. She never told my father. It was our secret…"

"She seemed to be a wonderful mum."

"Yes she was the best." She shuddered slightly at the sudden bleakness in his voice.

"I can see you were reckless too," she tried to lighten his mood.

"I would not say reckless," he mimicked her. "Brave?"

"Fair enough," she smiled. They continued their chat until they were too exhausted, then fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

><p>Commander Taylor was working, staring papers on his desk. He read the sentence on it for the second time and stopped. He couldn't concentrate. Jim had been a pain in the ass since Taylor had banished Alexandra. He wanted her back. But Taylor didn't need Jim to know that he had made a mistake. He had regretted his decision the day he made it. He knew it would not be that easy to find her in the jungle if she was with Lucas. His son knew how to stay hidden. It would be easier to find her if she was alone. Taylor didn't like this idea much. If she was on her own, she could not defend herself for long. At least, she would be safe if she was with Lucas. So he hoped. He knew he had banished her for bad reasons. He had made her pay for his son's betrayal. She didn't deserve it. She had always been loyal to Terra Nova, to him. His heart clenched at the thought of what he had done. He had to find her and bring her back home.<p> 


	12. Born to be wild

Can't wait for your reviews! It's like drug to me. I'm addicted! Enjoy this chapter as much as I did when I wrote it! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Born to be wild<strong>

Alexandra's interest for the dinosaurs grew in the jungle. Thanks to Lucas, she learnt quickly which ones were dangerous and which ones weren't. She used to spend days watching diplodocus, observing them, analyzing them. Every time, she tried to get closer and closer. She wanted to touch them. It was her new goal. She hadn't told Lucas about her game, but she was pretty sure he knew it. One day, she had had the sensation that someone was following her and she was certain it was Lucas. She didn't know if he was testing her skills, if he was just curious or if he didn't trust her enough, but she never told him she had seen him. She had spent her last week trying to succeed in her new mission. It was dawn and she couldn't wait for Lucas to wake up. There was something she wanted to try. She sneaked out silently from the tree and ran to where she had seen diplodocus the last time.

Lucas woke up alone in the bed and looked everywhere for Alexandra, suddenly worried. Then he heard a scream from outside. He ran in the direction he had heard it coming from.

"Alex? Alex?" He called her, his voice concerned.

"Over here!" He heard her call. Lucas looked up and saw Alexandra on a diplodocus. Actually, she was riding it. She was simply sat on it, legs each side of its neck.

"Alex, get down!" He asked her.

"It's ok!" She beamed. "I think I'm not heavy enough to bother it!" She was thrilled.

"It's not a game. Come on, get down." He commanded.

"You should try," she joked lightly.

"Please Alex, get down," he begged.

"Why don't you come and get me?" She challenged him, smirking.

"If you don't come to me right now, I'll shoot this dino ok?" He warned her, serious.

"Ok! I'm coming…" She sighed. She slid along its body until she was low enough to jump. She jumped on the ground, waving goodbye to it. "Bye E.T."

Lucas was glaring at her, his mouth tight.

"You are furious, aren't you?" It was not really a question. She could see he was. He didn't answer but his eyes clearly reflected anger.

"What?"

Lucas stayed quiet, clearly annoyed.

"Ok. Look, I'm sorry."

He still didn't speak and he still looked mad at her.

"I really am," She winced. "Are you gonna talk to me again one day?" She felt her heart tightened. She didn't like it. She'd rather have him yell at her than staying quiet. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak again.

"Do you know how dangerous it was? Do you know how stupid you've been? Do you know how anxious I've been when I didn't see you when I woke up? Do you know how scared I was when I heard you scream?" His voice was raw.

Alexandra was startled. She had not thought Lucas would get cross because of it. She was just having fun. She didn't mean to scare him. She felt stupid. She should have thought about it. Of course, if she had been in the same situation, she would have been worried and upset too.

"I won't do it again. Never." She said firmly, her eyes begging for forgiveness. She gingerly came to him, not sure how he would react. She slowly took his hands in hers and placed them on her waist. He didn't take them away. It was a good start. He was allowing her to be close to him. Then she cupped his face with her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I am truly sorry Lucas." She saw his eyes soften at her touch. He rested his head against hers, eyes shut, sighing.

"Never do it again. Ever." He commanded her.

"I won't. Promise." She swore.

Lucas gave her a deep kiss and looked at her again. "I believe you."

After this early misadventure, Alexandra was not very comfortable with Lucas. She was too scared to do anything wrong, so she did nothing. Lucas was sure she was afraid of him but he knew she would not admit it.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm not gonna hurt you," he managed to say after having spent a silent morning.

"I'm not scared!" She replied, surprised he would think such a thing.

"Then why have you been quiet for such a long time then?" He asked, confused.

"Because I don't wanna do anything unless you want me to."

It startled Lucas. "You told me I should feel free to say anything I had in mind. You are allowed too."

She winced. "I don't want to see you look at me the way you looked at me again… Furious, cold and distant," she said, sadness in her voice, eyes concerned.

Lucas knew he had probably overreacted but he had done what he was used to doing. It has always been his problem. He was too extreme. But Lucas wanted the usual light in her eyes to come back. He never thought he could miss her talking that much.

"It was quite impressive though… Riding a dino I mean. I don't think anybody had done it before!" He tried to lighten the mood. She looked at him, a thin smile starting to appear on her face. "How did you even get there?"

"I climbed on its tail," she said proudly, her bright smile reappearing again. Lucas was happy to see his plan was working.

"How long have you been planning this for?"

"Not long. The idea popped up during the night!" She confessed.

"I'd rather you tell me next time so I can keep you from doing deadly things." He was half serious, half smiling.

"I'll tell you," she said as she sat on his lap and kissed him. "I have promised, haven't I?"

"Indeed, you have."

"What shall we do then today?"

"Well, it's really sunny and warm outside. I thought we could take a walk to the river and maybe go for a swim?"

The smile she gave him when she said yes was enough to prove to him that he was forgiven. They spent their afternoon swimming in the river. Alexandra had cut some of Lucas' old trousers into shorts so she could enjoy the sun. Both with bare feet, Alexandra and Lucas were seated on a rock, casually talking about everything and anything. It was a habit they had gotten into since the beginning.

"How long do you think we can live like this?" Alexandra asked Lucas.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we are in the jungle, together. Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy like this. But I was just wondering if we could really stay here forever. Just the two of us, doing what we want all the time, having the life we want to live."

Lucas seemed to deliberate.

"I think we can live like that for a long time. Then one day you'd be too old to run and a dino might eat you. But for now on, we are good!"

She smacked him. "Why me? I bet you'll be the first to be eaten!"

"No, it would be you. You're the yummy one," he joked, pinching her thighs.

"Hey, it's only muscles," she scowled, rubbing her leg. He frowned, smirking.

"Ok, maybe not only muscles… But at least my thighs are good looking, aren't they?" She grinned and stood to show them with her hand like a model.

Lucas rose and moved closer to her.

"I love your thighs just the way they are," he started, caressing them, his eyes bright. Alexandra shivered under his touch. "They are sexy thighs."

"Don't lie!" she laughed.

"I think your laugh is sexy too," he smiled.

"Don't make fun of me!" she sulked.

"I'm not! I really do think your laugh is sexy. Like your smile is… Like your eyes are…" He leaned closer to her. "Like your lips are," he gently kissed her. "Like your cheeks are when you blush, just like now," he teased.

They stared at each other, scrutinizing each other reaction. They both reached to the other one's lips and kissed passionately. Lucas ran his hands to her back and found a way under her shirt. She shivered under his warm touch. His warmth was burning her, exciting her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to her. He slid his hands down her back, cupping her bottom with both hands. She lightly jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. Lucas spun them around and pressed Alexandra up against a tree. Lucas groaned softly against her lips, securing an arm around her waist, arching her into his hard body, while the other hand slid into her hair. His lips ran to her neck, her collarbone then came back to her ear and eventually came back to her lips. She exhaled loudly when he kissed her neck. Her body was full of horniness, it was like Lucas was everywhere. Her body shivered from pleasure. Her hands found a way to his pants. She quickly unbuttoned it and slipped her hand in it to stroke his length. He moaned at her touch, overexcited. Her body was moving up and down, exciting him, bringing him close to the edge. She wanted him badly, burning sensations overwhelming her. Their move was quicker and quicker. Lucas pressed his body against hers so she was stuck between him and the tree. He moved his hands to each side of Alex's face, bringing her head up to face him.

"Are you sure?" he gasped.

"Yes," she murmured, nodding quickly. "I want you, I want you now."

Lucas needed no further encouragement and stepped backwards, bringing Alexandra with him, still wrapped around his waist. He broke their kiss to lay them down on the ground. They kissed again hungrily. She flipped him over and sat on him. Lucas tilted his head back watching as Alexandra nervously grabbed the hem of the shirt she was wearing. Slowly, she lifted it up, revealing inch by inch of her smooth skin and a black lace bra.

"Alex…" he whispered breathlessly. Lucas sat and moved his hands up to her back, unclipping her bra. He stopped and exhaled in pleasure. "You're beautiful," he breathed unsteadily. She leant to him and gave him a passionate kiss, then let run her lips to his neck, nipping his ear.

Lucas flipped them over. He broke the kiss only to pull his shirt over his head, then he leant back down to her immediately, eager to kiss her again. Alexandra whimpered when his burning muscled chest touched her breasts. Lucas pulled his lips from hers, panting hard. He stared at her, raking his eyes over her curvy body. He kissed her neck slowly, went down on her breasts, her flat belly, his fingers reaching her shorts and panties, slowly sliding them down her tights. Alexandra shivered. She was frozen and burnt at the same time. Though, it was an agreeable fever. She flipped over him again and reached for his trousers and boxers. She slid them down hastily.

They were both naked now. Their bodies tangled passionately. Lucas held his weight with one of his hands while his other hand was busy on her bosom, massaging her breasts tenderly as an expert. Then he went down along her body, kissing her nipples, caressing her thighs, making his way up to her. Alexandra exhaled loudly when she felt his fingers rubbing her clit. Lucas loved the reaction he was getting from her.

"Lucas…" She moaned. "Now… I want you now." She panted, breathless.

Lucas suddenly raised her legs, unable to hold back anymore. He placed her under him, adjusting her to him. Alexandra moaned at the feel of him inside her. She clenched her hands on his shoulders, bringing him closer. He moved slowly but his arousal was on the edge. His movements quickly became harder and faster, his body filled with desire. Lucas made love to her like he never had before. It was not only sex, it was more than that. She really wanted him, not just to have sex with him. Their breathing became frantic as they both climaxed.

Alexandra had met boys before, but Lucas was totally different. His touch was suddenly foreign to her, it was a whole different world. They had made love passionately. They were exhausted and remained lying in the middle of the leaves, panting, trying to catch their breath. Alexandra was smiling at the sky.

"What?" Lucas asked, concerned.

"Nothing," she chuckled.

"Honestly Alex, why are you smiling?" He asked, annoyed.

She turned her head and beamed at him. "That was not bad!"

"Not bad?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I mean, it was great," she teased.

"Great? Are you kidding?" He asked in disbelief, disappointed now.

Alexandra couldn't suppress a laugh. She leaned to him and kissed him.

"It was perfect," she confessed, her eyes bright in excitement to feel his warm body against her again. "You are pretty good."

Lucas suddenly realized she had made fun of him. Girls should know boys don't like to make fun of how good they can be in bed.

"You should be careful," he warned her, eyes narrowed.

"Or what?" She chuckled, biting her lips.

"Or I will have to prove to you how wrong you are," he said in a husky voice, a mischievous smile on his face. Then he showed her exactly where he was getting at, flipping over her, kissing her hungrily. He made love to her for the second time, making her shriek as she reached an orgasm, leaving her panting, exhausted but entirely satisfied.


	13. Just the two of us

Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews! Please don't stop, it help me so much to continue to write my story! Here is a new chapter for our two heroes. Next one is coming soon. Don't forget to tell me what you think by reviewing the chapters!

* * *

><p><strong>Just the two of us<strong>

It had been a month now since Lucas and Alexandra had passed the step of sleeping together. Since then, they had been having fun, enjoying being as free as a bird. Live on love alone was more than just an expression, it had become real for them. They lived only for them, they thought of nothing but themselves. It was just the two of them and nobody else.

Lucas was looking for wood for the fire when he heard a voice singing. He approached where the sound came and found Alexandra eyes shut, jumping and moving her arms in the air. Her singing was more like screaming than a sweet and beautiful voice of singer. Lucas couldn't suppress a smile. It was exactly why Lucas liked her. She was so candid. She didn't care if she looked like a fool. She was just herself all the time. He stood for a moment, watching her let off steam in front of his eyes, too busy to notice him. He knew Alexandra used to sing all the time but most of it was murmurs. She had told him music had helped her to learn English at school and that she used to spent hours listening to it. Here, in the jungle, it was impossible for her to have this pleasure.

"We are yoouuung, we are yoouunng, we drink and we fight and we love just because we are nuuumb, we're on the ruuuunn…"

"If you want to scare dinosors I think you're succeeding," he tittered. Alexandra quickly opened her eyes, surprised.

"Don't make fun of me!" She laughed.

"What are you doing?"

"Having fun!," she beamed. "I miss music so much, I was trying to remember how it was!"

"Didn't sound like music to me. Looked like you were torturing an animal!" He teased.

"Oh thank you!" She said ironically. "I don't need your opinion anyway. I know my voice is perfect and I dance like a pro!"

"You're mad!" He laughed.

"And? Is it a problem for you, crazy genius?" She said, coming closer to him, challenging him. He suddenly bent to her and put her on his shoulders, carrying her to the shelter while she was screaming at him to let her go between laughs. He managed to climb the ladder and threw her on the bed.

"No, it's not a problem!," he smirked. "I might be crazy enough to like it!" He joked, before taking his shirt off and leaning to her, kissing her hungrily. It always ended this way. They would play and then ended up in bed. Not that they didn't like talking or doing something else, it was just that they enjoyed having sex, like a game where only they knew the rules and sex was the price of it. Alexandra would define it like an endless honeymoon. Now, they were in the bed, lying in each other's arms. Alexandra had her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat gently rocking her.

"I have a surprise for you," Lucas said, excitement in his voice.

"What is it?" she asked, rising on her elbow, eyes wide.

"Do you really think I'm gonna tell you what this is?"

"Who knows?," she said. "I can be very persuasive," she added, starting to kiss him.

"Mmm, yes you are," he moaned. "But not that persuasive," he snapped, sitting up. "Get dressed, I'm taking you to your surprise!"

Alexandra exhaled loudly.

"What?"

"I'd rather stay in bed with you…"

"We have plenty of time for that. But if you don't want your surprise…"

"Give me 2 minutes!" She quickly replied, reaching for her clothes.

They had been walking for an hour now and Alexandra was wondering where they were headed.

"Are we there yet?" Alexandra asked for the hundredth time.

"The more you ask, the longer it's going to take." He replied, annoyed.

"Oh, really? So there's some magical connection between my mouth and distance?" She mocked.

"No, but there is between your mouth and annoyance." He smirked.

"You are such a tease," she pushed him.

"Ok. You see the valley over there?" He showed her away.

"Yes."

"Well, it's not there," he chuckled.

"Ok, that is really funny! No really you are hilarious," she sulked, passing him, walking away.

"Oh come on! It was funny! I was funny! You're not funny anymore! Hey, wait for me!" He beamed.

They walked another hour and eventually arrived at the bottom of a mountain.

"Is it the mountain we can see from our tree?"

"Yes it is."

"It seemed closer from the tree," she stated. "So, where is my surprise then?"

"It's not far, but I need you to wear this."

"A blindfold? Seriously?"

"Come on," he said, grabbing her arm and turning her. He tied the blindfold around her head. "If you're very gentle, I might put this on you later again," he whispered to her ear in a husky voice. She shuddered with pleasure, biting her lips. She couldn't get use to it. Every time he was close to her she felt excited and her heart would race. While having her eyes shut, she was suddenly hyper-aware of his presence behind her. She was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through her. She tried to calm down this sudden urge to kiss him, fighting back the urge to take the blindfold away and turn to meet his gaze. Lucas guided her to reach to his surprise. When Lucas took the blindfold away, she blinked to get used to daylight again. She stayed speechless, admiring the place. She didn't know where to start looking.

"Do you like it?"

Lucas had taken her to a large meadow, covered by colorful flowers. Every bit of the meadow was shiny in the sun. The light wind gave the impression that there was a wave of color beneath their feet.

"I do," she whispered, stunned. She wanted to jump in it, to swim in it. It all seemed so smooth and so peaceful.

Lucas observed her as she discovered the place. He had found this meadow years ago, after his father had banished him. He had kept it secret. It was his secret garden. The only person he wanted to share it with was Alexandra. He was sure she would appreciate it. She would enjoy every minute of her life, she was always full of enthusiasm and it made Lucas more eager to share everything he knew with her.

"I love my surprise. Thank you." She beamed at him.

"Are you crying?" He asked, noticing her eyes were wet.

"No I'm not. But I could. It's really beautiful here. I'm really proud you trust me enough to show me this place." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Why don't you let people see the good in you?" She asked, curious.

"Because when they see good they expect good. I can't take that risk with anyone."

"You did with me."

"It's different. You're different." He confessed.

"I don't believe you. I'm like everyone else. You could be yourself with anyone if you'd like."

"Trust me, you are the opposite of ordinary. You're definitely unique," he said, caressing tenderly her cheeks, with his hand.

Alexandra looked at him deeply. She was astonished to see how kind and generous Lucas could be. It was so sad he didn't know it. It was so sad that nobody knew it except from her. She felt her heart clench when she realized she might be the only person Lucas had in his life who actually cared for him. She gave him a deep kiss, pouring everything she had got into it. Lucas kissed her back hastily and lay her down on the grass. They stayed together, lying in the meadow, staring at the sky as the day went down, Lucas cradling her.

"I wonder how we got here." She wondered to herself out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"We know each other for what, two months? And it looks like we've been together for years."

"Is it bad?"

"No it's not. Not at all. Actually it's perfect. It's like we…" She paused. "Don't make fun of me ok?"

"I swear," he smirked, putting his right hand on his chest.

"It's like we were made to meet each other."

Lucas thought about it. He had this strange feeling too. But it was just a feeling, nothing rational about it. And he was someone rational, someone who believed in science and maths.

"I don't believe in destiny. I think our life is what it is because of the choices we make."

"I don't. I believe in fate. I believe things happen because they have to. Like we have to go through them to be who we are, to have what we get."

"I don't understand why you think that way. You're not here because of destiny, you're here with me because you chose to stand in front of my father, because you have decided to stay with me, because I have decided to stay with you."

"Do you really think that? Honestly?"

"Yes, I don't see another reason for you to be here except your own choices."

"I'm here because I walked into the portal. That was my decision. But why me? Why not somebody else? And why were you there to save me that day? Why you? Why not a Sixer or a soldier from the Phoenix group? I know I made decisions, but somehow what happened next was already decided by something not rational, something less expectable, destiny. It's why life is so unexpected. It's what is so amazing with life, you don't know what your life is gonna be like. That's why you have to enjoy every day of your life. Because sometimes it sucks and sometimes it's wonderful. In each case, you need to make the most of it."

Lucas listened to her carefully. His mind was far too rational to envisage her vision of the world. However, she seemed to truly believe it and that was made her so special. She had principles, she was straight and honest. Not really like him he suddenly realized. He could lie, torture or kill if he needed it. He was nothing like her. He could not forgive, he was full of revenge and hatred most of the time. Even if he was less like that since she was with him, he knew he couldn't change that much. He probably couldn't change enough for her. One day, he would screw it up, he was sure of it. One day, she would realize she had made a mistake by being with him. One day, she would go away, leaving him alone.

* * *

><p>Reviews please! :)<p> 


	14. Life is made of choices

**Life is made of choices**

Alexandra was staring away, lost in her thoughts. After weeks of having sex, she realized she had been more than two months without her period. Actually, the last time was just before leaving Terra Nova. Two weeks after she had started to sleep with Lucas. She had been sick last week but she felt better now. She paled as she realized what it could mean. No she couldn't. When she was younger, her doctor told her she couldn't. But here, in a new world, without pollution and all of the bad things that were in 2012, maybe… The idea stayed in her mind for the next few days.

Lucas was worried about Alexandra. Her attitude had changed in the last week and she was always absent minded. When he had tried to talk to her about it, she had said everything was alright, that he was too paranoid. Maybe she wanted to go back to Terra Nova? Maybe she regretted her decision? No, he had to stop thinking like that, she had told him that she wanted him, she had chosen him. Maybe he was just not used to happiness. He had the feeling that this couldn't last forever.

Alexandra decided she had to tell Lucas. Even if she wasn't sure, she had to tell him why she had been acting so awkwardly for the last few days. She found him at his desk, writing down some numbers that she couldn't' understand.

"Lucas, I need to talk to you," she suddenly said, a trace of fear in her.

"What is it?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.

"Don't worry, it's nothing… or maybe it is… Actually I don't know… I… I'm late."

Silence.

"Very late actually…" She added, confused by his reaction.

"What are you saying exactly?" He asked, his eyes narrowed.

Alexandra burst in tears, she didn't know that she was holding so much weight on her shoulders. Lucas was already there, taking her in his arms, soothing her. He tilted his head and tried to make eye contact with her.

"I think I'm pregnant," she murmured. Her eyes filled with tears. She stared at him, waiting for a reaction.

"You… You what?" Those were the only words he managed to say.

"I'm not sure it's just… I feel like I'm pregnant. I know it sounds stupid and all but..."

"You're pregnant!" Lucas smirked, his face lightening. "I thought something was wrong, I thought you wanted to leave, I thought... It was a bad news"!

"Is it good news then?" she asked, startled.

"Yes! It is… I think it is. I mean it is, right?"

"I think so yes!" She was crying and laughing at the same time.

He gently kissed her, tightening his embrace. Then he slowly put his hands on her belly.

"A child… You're expecting a child…" Lucas realized how much it meant when he said it out loud. Excitement and stress grew through him. Lucas always tried to not getting emotionally attached. Feelings were a weakness. That was what his father had taught him. However, he clearly had feelings for Alexandra, a strong bond.

"Your child, our child," she added. Even for her it was a brand new sensation. She was pregnant. She was carrying his child. Their child. She was going to be a mother. He was going to be a father. She was not really sure how good this news was. What she was sure of was how Lucas had reacted. He was not mad at her as she thought he could have been. She felt relieved. Once again, he would stay with her. They would stay together.

Alexandra was pregnant, they were sure of it now. Her belly had a lovely little bump. She thought she was around 3 months. She loved the way Lucas used to come behind her and calmly put his hands on it, protecting it. They used to spend the day in each other arms, lost in their minds, looking at the sky.

"Maybe we should think about the name for our son?" he suddenly said one morning.

"Our daughter!" she replied, smiling.

Lucas was sure it would be a boy. He couldn't explain it. Alexandra would love a girl. It didn't matter, they couldn't find out until it was born anyway.

Alexandra never thought Lucas would say something like that. At the beginning, even if he was happy to become a father, he had needed time to assimilate it, understand it. But now he was just thrilled about the idea, like a child before Christmas, he couldn't wait for it to come! He was happier than ever and it made Alexandra over the moon.

Lucas was feeling on top of the world, Alexandra was good to him and she was expecting his child. Soon, he was going to be a father and he was really excited about it. At first, he thought about his relationship with his own father and wondered if he could be a good father when his father was the worst father in the world. In the end, he was sure he would be good at it because he was not his father, so he couldn't do it wrong. And Alexandra would be here, with him. She knew how to be with him, she would know how to be with their child.

"I like Elliot for a boy and Charlotte for a girl" said Alexandra, thoughtfully.

"Charlotte? Isn't that a cake?" He laughed. "And Elliot? Don't like this name. What about Eric or Michael?"

"No, I like Elliot. Don't you know the magic story of Elliot and E.T? With a name like Elliot, his life is going to be brilliant!"

"Do you know how many Michaels have been famous?" He said, a crook smile on his face.

"That's what I meant, I don't want my son to be like everyone else! I want him to be special, unique," she said, looking down her belly.

"He's already special. He is our son," Lucas gently said, his eyes bright.

"He might be she!" she smiled, caressing her belly. "Don't listen to your dad sweet heart, I'll allow you to be a girl! Charlotte…" She murmured

"We have time to discuss that question. I have a surprise for you," he lightly said, a big smile on his face.

"What is it?"

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Come on!" He came behind her and put his hands on her eyes. "Walk!" He commanded her. He led her to the bed and made her sit on it. Alexandra felt Lucas put something in her hands.

"Happy birthday Alex," he murmured to her ear.

Alexandra couldn't believe what her surprise was. Her heart stopped. She was amazed.

"How did you get a plex from?" She asked, suspicious.

"That is my secret. Do you like it?"

"Of course! You're mad, you shouldn't have," she kissed him. She was so grateful he remembered her birthday. Lucas beamed at her. He was so happy to see how she had reacted. It had taken him few weeks to fulfil his plan. He had followed some Sixers in the jungle. They eventually make the mistake he expected. They had left their vehicle, leaving their belongings inside. This is when Lucas was able to steal the plex.

"Thank you so much," she added before kissing him again. "You are perfect." Alexandra wanted to say more, to do more. She wanted to show him how proud of him she was. She wanted to prove to him that she was happy. She wanted to tell him she loved him. But she didn't know why, she couldn't say it. She was too afraid he would not say it too. She knew it was not something he was ready to say. Love was something he knew when his mother was still alive. But since she died, his heart had stopped feeling that way. She didn't want to force him. She would have to be patient. And anyway, he was good to her the way he was right now. Did she really need him to say it to prove he had feelings for her?

Alexandra was 4 months pregnant now and she started to feel the exhaustion and the pain of the pregnancy. She was laying on the floor, legs against the tree trunk, feet in the air, reading something on her plex.

"What are you doing?" Lucas chuckled.

"Don't play with a pregnant woman's nerves. You don't know how much my hormones control me! I would murder someone if it could ease my pain!" She joked. Her back had been painful for about a week now and her legs were slightly swollen. Laying like this was the only way to ease the pain. Lucas leaned to her and laid next to her in the same position. He put his palm on her rounded belly, caressing it.

"I would not even try to get in your way!" He teased.

"I look like a barrel. A barrel with legs. Fat legs," she sighed. "I feel horrible."

"Well, I would not say you are super sexy right now," he started, noticing her eyes narrowing. "But you are pretty. I think you are beautiful pregnant."

"When I was a teen I didn't know how pretty I was. I only realized how attractive I could be not a long time ago. And now, here I am, enormous."

"You'll be sexy soon again. You'll just have to be a little more patient. Only few months left."

"I think I'm going to go for a walk. It might help me to sleep tonight. If I'm exhausted I will sleep right?"

Alexandra had problems sleeping. Because of her pregnancy, she was not doing much during the day and Lucas would not allow her to do more anyway. But she thought she couldn't sleep because she was not tired enough. Maybe a walk could help her.

"Do you want me to come?"

"No, it's ok. Stay here. Do what you want to do. I won't be long anyway!"

"Actually, I'd like to come with you." Lucas didn't really like the idea of Alexandra on her own in the jungle before. Now she was pregnant, it was not only her he had to take care of.

"Ok." She nodded, suspicious. She knew he would have let her go on her own if she was not pregnant. Even if she didn't like to have him stuck to her, she couldn't deny she liked the way he took care of her. He was really attentive to her.

They walked to the river and came back. It took them an hour or so.

"Lucas," Alexandra pursed her lips. "Can I tell you something?"

"Since when are you asking me if I allow you to talk?" He chuckled.

"I'm worried." She confessed.

"About what?"

"Don't be mad at me ok?"

"I'm never mad at you." He sighed. Her eyebrows furrowed. "I won't be mad," he swore.

"Aren't you afraid that Mira or the sixers or the phoenix group come after you? After us? I mean you owe them."

"They'll have to find me first. And I owe them nothing. I built the portal, it's not my fault my father destroyed it."

"Why are you suddenly asking about that?" He questioned her.

"Because earlier, I… No it's stupid. And you said there was nothing to worry about," she quickly answered.

"Earlier what?" He insisted.

"I had this strange sensation, like someone was spying on us, following us," she said. "Forget it, it must has been an animal," she tried to reassure him as his face hardened.

"Why you didn't tell me," he asked harder than he intended to.

"I don't know. You haven't seen it. I thought it was my imagination."

"Where was it?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Think Alex. It's important," he commanded her.

"It was just after we left the first stream."

Lucas knew this could happen. He always knew they could come back to him. He had thought he should go and talk to them before leaving with Alexandra. But once he had started his life with her, he had never found the time to go and see them. In reality, he had never taken the time to do it. He wanted to stay with her. He wanted to forget them. Now, they were after him, after them. He stared at her belly, suddenly panicked at the thought of what could happen if they found out Alexandra's pregnancy. Lucas would do what he had to do to protect his family, even if it meant fighting with Mira and the soldiers.

* * *

><p>Enjoyed it? Please, review this chapter and let me know what you thought about it!<p> 


	15. Unexpected

**Unexpected**

_Alexandra was walking in the jungle when she suddenly had the feeling that something was wrong. She looked at her belly and saw blood. Pain flowed through her, making her scream. "Lucas! Lucas! The baby!" She called him but he never came. She realized she was lost, alone, in the middle of nowhere. Tears were flooding her eyes, running down her cheeks. Her vision blurred._

She woke up in tears, her back wet and cold.

"It's ok, it's ok. I'm right here. It's only a nightmare" Lucas was rubbing her back, trying to calm her.

She couldn't suppress a shudder. He wrapped his arms around her.

"It was horrible… I had lost the baby and you weren't there," she cried, wrapping her arms around her belly, touching it to be sure she was still pregnant.

"It's not going to happen. I'm here" He tightened his embrace, soothing her.

"Lucas, I'm worried. We never discussed, but what are we going to do when I'm in labour? I mean, are you sure you can handle it? And after, can we raise up a child out here?"

Lucas had thought about it, of course. Actually, he had thought about it every day since she had told him she was pregnant. He still didn't have the answer. He didn't want to ask for help, he wanted them to be alone. The only solution was that he would do it, he would have to help her to give birth to their child. For the first time in his life, Lucas wasn't sure of his plan, but he didn't want Alexandra do worry.

"I can handle it. Everything is going to be ok, I swear," he reassured her, hoping she wouldn't notice the lack of truth in his word.

Alexandra was not really sure that Lucas could handle it on his own. She wasn't even sure she wanted him to do it. It was not his role. He was the father, not the doctor. The exhaustion made her fall asleep, her mind thinking about how to find a solution, knowing that Terra Nova and the Sixer's camp was excluded from the equation.

Taylor had thought of Alexandra many times since he had banished her. She was a good girl who had made some bad mistakes. However, she had always been honest with him, he was sure of that now. Back then, he was just too sad she had protected his son. How could she have protected him? He was insane and selfish. He didn't want her to be away anymore. He knew that he had to find her before it was too late. He would apologize if he had to. After months of tracking, he had finally found her, found them. He spent a few days observing them. She seemed tired but in a good health. Lucas was always with her and Taylor had to be patient for his plan to work. The day he had seen her leave their tree house and go into the jungle on her own he had decided it was the moment he was waiting for to talk to her. He hadn't been expected to see what he saw when he called her and she turned around to face him.

"Alexandra?"

"Commander?"

"Oh my god!" he murmured, shocked. "You're expecting a child!"

"Commander, you shouldn't be here. If Lucas finds out you're here… I can't protect you," she warned him.

"Alex… You don't have to protect me." His gaze was stuck on her round belly. "It's my fault," he shook his head. "I should have protected you better. I'm here because I wanted to apologize to you. I made a mistake, I should have never banished you."

"I don't blame you. I did, but I don't blame you anymore. You don't have to worry about me. I'm ok."

"You are pregnant Alex. No, you are not ok." He stated.

"I'll be ok. Lucas takes care of me."

"Lucas? Listen sweetheart, I know you believe that he is a good person, but Lucas is not able of loving or caring.

"You don't have to save me from Lucas. He is not a danger for me."

"He's not the person you need. Right now you need to come back with me to Terra Nova. You need to see a doctor. You need to do what's best for you and this child."

"It's your grandchild. It's Lucas's child. Lucas is a father to be and he'll be good at it. I trust him with my life. We will be ok." She tried to reassure him.

Commander Taylor gulped as he understood what she had just said. She was carrying his son's child. He was going to be a grandfather. He always had feelings for her like a father would have for his daughter. He never knew why it had been so easy for him to be that close to her.

"You are like family to me. I want what's best for you. For my grandchild. I miss you. I miss my family. Please, come with me," he begged.

Alexandra didn't know if it was because she missed him a lot or because of her hormones, maybe both, but she walked to him and embraced him.

"I missed you too," she murmured.

"I'm so sorry," he replied, sadness in his voice.

"Don't be, please, trust me, you don't have to," she whispered to his ears between sobs. She was crying now. Bloody hormones she cursed herself.

"Well well well! What a beautiful family portrait we've got here!" A voice said sarcastically behind them.

They both turned to see Lucas, madness in his eyes, glaring at them.

"Lucas…" Alexandra started to say.

"You shut up!" he yelled.

Alexandra froze. She looked at him, eyes wet, not knowing what to do.

"Come here," he commanded her. The madness in his voice and the fury in his eyes made Alexandra shiver. She had never seen him like that. Never. He could be cross, of course. But there, he was just the man his father had said he could be. Revengeful, cold and violent.

Alexandra glanced at Taylor, smiled sadly and walked to Lucas. She didn't like how he was reacting but she wanted him to calm down, to be the man she knew again. And right now, the only way to have this was to go to him and for his father to go away.

"Are you insane?" Taylor spat through gritted teeth. "She's pregnant! She can't stay here."

His worry made Alexandra stop. She looked at Lucas, he was staring at her, at her belly.

"It's none of your business," Lucas madly replied. "Alex, come on honey, don't stay there," he tried to say gently, beckoning her to come closer, though his voice was still harsh. Alexandra could feel his anger emanating from him.

"Alexandra, come with me. You need to see a doctor, you need someone to take care of you," Taylor argued, his voice calm.

Alexandra knew Taylor should have not implied that nobody took care of her. Lucas took care of her, or at least he tried. Maybe Taylor wanted Lucas to react the way he did. Maybe Taylor knew exactly that what he had just said would drive him crazy. Maybe he wanted what happened next to occur.

"I take care of her!" Lucas exploded. "You, arrogant son of a bitch, you don't know what it is to take care of someone." Lucas yelled.

"Come on son, do you really know what raising a kid means? Do you understand what being a father implies?"

"Don't call me son! Don't lecture me! You don't know what being a father is. You selfish bastard," Lucas roared before running to his father and punching him, making him bleed.

"No! Stop it! Stop, please!" Alexandra begged them, crying.

Taylor punched Lucas back, making him fall. Taylor grabbed his gun but Lucas quickly stood up and try to make him drop the gun. Their fight seemed last for hours for Alexandra. She wanted them to stop. She begged them to stop but they didn't listen to her. It was violent and bloody. Alexandra couldn't stand to see the two people she loved the most fight together. It was not the reunion she would have hoped for them. She walked to them, ready to fight to separate them. A crack suddenly broke their fight, making her stop. She looked at them, her vision suddenly blurred. They were staring at her, eyes wide opened in shock. She looked down at her belly and saw her hands full of blood. She let a bubbly noise escape from her mouth. She had been shot. The second after, she was down. She had collapsed. She heard voices, people calling her name. She wanted to answer them but no sound was getting out of her mouth. It was like in a dream, or maybe a nightmare? She was floating. The voices sounded far away. Then she felt cold. Her body was shaking and she couldn't stop it. She was scared, wondering where she was. Where was Lucas? He had promised he would stay with her. Lucas… His face came to her mind and eased the pain. She suddenly felt warmer, in peace. This warmth wrapped her. It fell nice and peaceful. The cold and the pain went away as she allowed her brain to stop thinking, to stop worrying, to stop being afraid.

Lucas ran to Alexandra, kneeling next to her, putting his hands on her wounded belly.

"Nooooo! Alex! Alex! Can you hear me? Please! Alex?" His voice was hysterical.

"We need to take her to Terra Nova," Taylor quickly said when he saw how bad her wound was.

"No! Look what you've done, bastard!"

"I didn't have the gun and you know it," he angrily spat.

Lucas gave him a wild, fury, insane gaze. He knew it was true. He had succeeded in getting an advantage over his father. He had grabbed his gun and tried to shoot him. But his father had pushed his arm and then the shot had gone away.

"Lucas, if you want to save her, you have to let me take her to Terra Nova," Taylor tried to persuade him.

"No, noooo I can't do that, our home is here. We belong here. She belongs here, with me…" He was delirious now, tears running down his face.

Taylor was startled to see his son depressed like that, like he had seen him once before. It reminded him on the day Lucas had seen his mother die. This day, Taylor had lost his wife and his son. Lucas had never been the same since that day. Taylor kneeled down and tried to take Alexandra in his arms but Lucas pushed him away.

"Don't touch her!" He spat.

"If you want to save her… and your baby, we have to go now!"

Lucas was suddenly back to reality. His baby. He couldn't lose his child. He put his arms under Alexandra's body and carried her. He quickly followed Taylor to his car and sat in it, with Alexandra still wrapped in his arms. He would not let her out of his embrace. Alexandra was raving now, calling his name.

"I'm right here Alex, I'm right here. I won't let you down," he murmured to her ear.

* * *

><p>Was a bit of a drama wasn't it? Don't forget to review! Your opinion is VERY important to me! TBC…<p> 


	16. Back to Terra Nova

**Back to Terra Nova**

Alexandra was hurt. Every bit of her body was in pain. Her mouth was dry and tasted like rusty blood. Her eyelids were heavy. She tried to open them but she couldn't. She gulped and it burnt her throat, making her cough. She felt a cold hand touching her cheek, bringing something to her mouth.

"Drink." Alexandra recognized Dr Shannon's voice.

The water washed away the bad taste she had in her mouth. She coughed again.

"Thank you," she murmured in a hoarse voice. She tried again to open her eyes. She had to blink many times to adjust to the light. She narrowed her eyes to help the blur to go away. Dr Shannon was standing in front of her.

"Good to see you again. You're very lucky," she lightly smiled. "How do you feel?"

Alexandra remembered what had happened. Her hand ran to her round belly to feel it was flat.

"Empty," she answered, tears coming up.

"Alex, I'm so sorry…" Dr Shannon gave her a sad smile.

"What happened?"

"We tried to save her but…"

"Her?" She asked, stunned.

Dr Shannon cursed herself. Of course Alexandra couldn't have known what she was expecting. But as her doctor, she had to tell her the truth, even if it was not good. "Yes. It was a girl."

'_Was_', the information sank in Alexandra's body as she understood she had a girl and had lost her. It's was like she had been stabbed in the heart. She tried to breath but she couldn't anymore. Her heart tightened in her chest. It was like she was having a panic attack. Her whole body was shaking and she couldn't control it. Her lips were trembling, her vision blurred with tears. She brushed them away with her shaky hands. The lack of breathing and the sobs made her pale.

"Alex, calm down. Breath slowly, come on, breath."

"Lucas… Where… is… Lucas? I need to see Lucas," Alexandra panted, her heart racing in her rib cage.

Dr Shannon didn't answer. She gave her a drug that made her fall asleep immediately. It was the only solution. She couldn't tell her the same day that she had lost her girl and her boyfriend. Lucas was gone and he was not coming back. She would know soon enough that she was alone.

Alexandra woke up the next day, feeling groggy. She could barely sit up in her bed, every move was painful. Dr Shannon entered the room and helped her to sit properly. Alexandra stared at her as she checked her bandages and wrote instructions on a paper.

"Dr Shannon, what happened?" Alexandra asked. "Don't lie to me. I want the truth," she felt necessary to add. Dr Shannon looked deeply at her and understood Alexandra was ready.

"Alexandra, I need you to be strong. What I have to tell you is not easy to say. I want you to listen carefully to me, ok?"

Alexandra nodded.

"You had an important surgery. Your bullet wound was too deep. Your injury had wounded the placenta. Your child was already dead when you arrived here. There wasn't anything that we could have done to bring her back to life. I am really sorry about that. Fortunately, we saved your uterus so you will be able to have children in the future, which is good news in those circumstances. You have many stitches on your stomach so you need to rest. By rest, I mean that I want you to stay in bed for the next 5 days."

"Where is my daughter?" Using the term daughter sounded strange to Alexandra. But it was what her baby was. A girl. Dr Shannon was startled, she was not expecting this question yet.

"We buried her yesterday. I'm sorry we could not wait for you. But you've been in coma for 5 days now and we couldn't wait any longer for her to be buried. I'll show you her grave when you're able to walk if you'd like."

"Where's Lucas?" Alexandra already knew the answer. If he was still in Terra Nova, he would be sitting next to her.

"I'm really sorry Alex. He's gone." She sighed. "He stayed until I told him you were safe then he left."

"Did he see her?"

"Yes. He saw everything." Dr Shannon confessed sadly.

Lucas was gone. He was gone, abandoning her. He was gone even if he knew she was not going to be ok. She would be alright, physically. But now, she was a mess. She needed him and he was not here. She felt her heart stop. Alexandra shut her eyes. No she was not going to cry again. She had to be strong for her own sake. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Did he leave because he wanted to or because Taylor asked him to?" Alexandra had thought a lot about the questions she needed to be answered. That question startled Dr Shannon again. Alexandra was a clever girl, it was obvious. She needed every pieces of the puzzle.

"A little bit of both," Dr Shannon eventually replied after a pause. She hated to see her like that. This girl was too young to go through all of this. "But I'm not the best person to ask to. You should talk to the commander. He is the one who really knows what happened." She wanted to be honest with her. She deserved it. Dr Shannon had disagreed with Taylor when he went to chase Lucas. Even after what he had done to the colony, she knew it would have been good for Alexandra's recovery.

"Am I a prisoner?"

"A prisoner? No, of course not. You're a patient here. And when you're fine, you will be allowed to live here. If you want to, you'll be welcome with us again."

Alexandra wasn't sure she wanted it but knew it was a nice offer from the Shannon's after what she had done to them. A knock on the door made them stop their chat. Commander Taylor entered in the bedroom. Alexandra looked at him with no expression on her face. She hadn't realized how much she didn't want to see him. She didn't want to talk to him. Actually, she wanted him to go away. She lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Dr Shannon, may I have a word with you please?"

"Sure Commander," she replied after a quick glance over to Alexandra, noticing she was avoiding him. They both went outside the room.

"How is she?" He inquired.

"She's going to be fine. She will recover quicker than I thought. She's strong..."

"It was not my question." Taylor cut her off.

"I know what your question was… But as you may have seen it, she doesn't really want to talk about it right now."

"How long?"

"It's not as simple as treating a disease. It will take time. She'll be here for the next 5 days. After, you will have to decide what you want to do with her. But she's 22 now, she's an adult. You can't decide for her. If you want her to do what you want, you will have to convince her."

Taylor nodded and walked into the room. He was ready to confront her. Alexandra glanced at him and immediately looked back to the ceiling. He sat on the seat next to her, fidgeting.

"Dr Shannon said you'll be ok very soon. She said you are really strong." He was trying to sound joyful but he didn't fool her.

"Did you ask Lucas to go away?" She asked in a blank tone, her eyes still locked on the ceiling. Taylor was not expecting her to be that direct.

"I… I just told him it would be better for both of you after what he had done to you if he would leave."

"Done to me?" She turned her head and stared at him, suspicion in her eyes.

"Alex, I know it's going to be hard for you to hear it but… he was the one who shot you. He killed your child, he..." Taylor tried to explain but she cut him off.

"His child. It was his child too. May I remind you it was your grandchild too?" She asked angrily.

"Alex, I am really sad too. But do you really think I could have let him stay here after what happened? I'm sure you don't want a murderer to stay with you," he dared to say.

"You started it. You made him do that."

"No Alex, it's what he really is. You saw how mad he was? It was the real him."

"You know nothing about him." She said harshly.

"You don't want to go back to Lucas, do you?" He asked worried. Alexandra pursed her lips and started to breathe faster than before. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run away, she wanted people to leave her alone. She needed some fresh air. She tried to sit, she wanted to go out.

"Alex, you can't…" Taylor started to say, stopping her.

"Let me go!" She fought.

"Alex, stop it!" He locked her on the bed with his hands. "Lucas is gone. Accept it. Your life is here, with us."

"Screw him, screw you, screw all of you," she cried. "I want you to get out! Leave me alone!" She yelled, her heart hitting her chest, burning it. She wanted to forget the loss of her child, to forget Lucas, to forget Taylor, to forget their fight, to forget everything. She wanted to erase her memory from all of this pain. She struggled but Taylor didn't release his grip until he realized her belly was bleeding.

"Dr Shannon!" He called.

Dr Shannon came in quickly and saw immediately the blood. "Ok, leave us. I need to handle this, just leave us would you?"

Taylor obeyed and walked outside the room, hurt. He didn't mean to yell at her but he was too afraid of losing her again. He had lost his temper. It was not something usual for him. It was something his son could do, not him. What was wrong with him? He couldn't figure out why he felt so close from her. He had lost his son. And for some reason, maybe it was fate, but something or someone had put this girl in his life so he could have another chance to have a child. He didn't want to destroy everything. He would have to regain her trust, no matter how long it would take.

Dr Shannon had bandaged her belly. She stood next to Alexandra, saying nothing, observing her with eyes reflecting care and concern. Alexandra looked at her, her eyes filled with tears.

"I didn't want any of this," she said sadly, shaking her head.

"Alex, we all react to life's challenges in different ways. Some fight death, and some embrace its solace. Some recognize their fate and others do whatever is necessary to alter it. Sometimes we defy others' expectations, and, occasionally, we rise to meet them. But the constant is being true to ourselves. We do what we have to, when we have to. We react for better or worse. You're the only one who can decide what you want to do with your life now."

Alexandra started to cry again, too exhausted to fight, too exhausted to think. Dr Shannon wrapped her in her arms, soothing her. "It's going to be ok Alex. You'll see. It's going to be ok."

* * *

><p>Ok it was quite sad, I know. But she's still alive isn't she? And Lucas is gone. Again. But hey, he might not be far. Who knows? Well I do know! You'll find out really soon. Leave me your review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! I always like to read your comments.<p> 


	17. For your own sake

**For your own sake**

Alexandra had been allowed to leave the infirmary after 3 days. She had proved to Dr Shannon that she would be alright on her own. Commander Taylor had agreed to let her live alone in one of the empty house they had left. Though, not far away from his own house so he could keep an eye on her. Alexandra was not foolish enough to think she was really free but she would have done anything to leave the infirmary.

"Are you ready?" Jim asked, carrying Alexandra's bag.

"More than ever," she smiled. She had no regrets leaving the infirmary, leaving this gown and all of the annoying things that came with being a patient. Jim led her to her new home and showed her everything she had to know about the house.

"It's perfect Jim. Thank you."

"And there is a present for you." He showed her something on the table. She approached to see what it was.

"A plex?" She asked, surprised.

"We bought it for you."

"We?"

"Commander Taylor and I."

"Oh," was all she managed to say. Lucas had offered her a plex for her birthday. And now here she was, getting a plex as a present. Again. That was strange. Jim noticed her confusion and continued their conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Elizabeth and I would like you to join us for dinner."

"I don't know Jim… It would be a little bit strange," she winced.

"Come on, you're not going to stay alone for your first night, are you?" The big smile Jim gave her stopped her from saying no.

"Ok, I'll come."

"Good! See you around 7!" Then Jim left her alone. Alexandra had just had enough time to put her bag on the bed when she heard knocking at the door.

"Hi Josh."

"Hi Alex. I was passing by when I saw you with my dad. So this is your new home, huh?" He asked, starting to look inside. "Do you want me to…" Alexandra didn't wait for him to finish his sentence.

"Josh, honestly! You have to stop doing that. If you don't, I'll have to call the sheriff and ask him to arrest you for harassment ok? I told you I forgive you, so move on! Give me some space would you?"

Josh had come to see Alexandra four times per day when she was at the infirmary. He was sure everything was his fault and he wanted to fix his mistake. At first, Alexandra thought it was kind of him. Then, she quickly had enough. He was everywhere, he wanted to help with everything. Alexandra had tried to avoid him but obviously he had heard she was gone from the infirmary. And now, here he was, knowing where she was living. '_Fantastic_', she told herself.

"Sorry Alex, I just thought…"

"Stop thinking Josh, please," she begged him.

"Alright," he sighed sadly.

"Josh… Please don't do that. It's ok. We are ok. Can't you just be as normal as you were before?"

"I'll try."

"Good. Then I'll see you later. Your parents invited me for dinner."

"Great! I'll see you there then," he smiled happily before leaving her. It suddenly didn't seem that great for her. She went back to her bedroom and started to fill the cupboard with clothes. Once again, Maddy had been nice to her and given her many clothes. Maddy was the most generous person Alexandra knew. A knock at the door stopped her again.

"Josh I warned you… Oh, hello Skye. Sorry, I thought it was Josh… Again." She smiled, embarrassed.

"Well it's only me!" Skye smiled lightly. "I just wanted to say hi. I know we haven't talk a lot since you got back."

"You've been busy. I understand that. It's ok." Skye worked at the infirmary but they didn't have much time to talk when Alexandra was there. Most of the time, they were interrupted by doctors who wanted to check on Alexandra's wound.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you need. You can talk to me."

"Did Taylor send you here to tell me that?" Alexandra suddenly asked, suspicious.

"No. Well, he said he was worried but he didn't send me. I wanted to come."

"Don't worry. I just need a bit of time but I'll be fine."

"You know, I'm really sorry for you. I know how much it can hurt to lose someone you love."

"I'll survive." It was cliché but she didn't know what else to say. She knew Skye had lost her father and that her mother was still ill from the syncillic fever. But she couldn't compare her loss with hers. That's was impossible.

"I wish you had never been banished and never met Lucas. That guy is so evil. He has hurt so many people. I'm glad he is gone. You'll see, you'll be happier here without him." Skye confessed, thinking it was what Alexandra needed to hear.

"Just don't. Don't talk about Lucas, ok? Ever. I mean it. Forget him. I don't want you, or any of you, to remind me of his existence, ok? You know nothing. Don't pretend to know what I'm going through because you don't. Don't pretend to know him or what we had together because you can't. You're too young to understand. You're just a kid."

Alexandra knew her tone was really cold and menacing but hearing Skye talking about Lucas was too much. Who the hell did she think she was? Why did people always try to decide what was good for her? Why did they know better than her what her choices should be? Skye's face reflected shock. Alexandra didn't want to apologize but she knew she had to say something.

"Skye, I didn't mean to be rude. But honestly, you can't expect me to agree with you, can you?" She sighed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or your feelings. It's my fault, I should have not said that," Skye answered, confused. "I should… Huh… leave you so you can… do whatever you have to do," she added before leaving.

"Not a good start," Alexandra murmured to herself. "God, this is not going to be easy."

Alexandra took a deep breath and knocked at the door of the Shannon's house. She was a little bit late but she had lost her time trying to get dressed. In the jungle, she didn't have this kind of problem. She only had one pair of trousers and one shirt. And when she was pregnant, she used to wear Lucas's shirts.

"Good evening Alex!" Dr Shannon beamed at her. "Come on in!"

Everybody was there, even Mark. Zoe ran to Alexandra and wrapped her tiny arms around her to say hello. Alexandra's heart tightened. It reminded her of her daughter. She tried not to show how painful it was for her. She spent most of the dinner observing them, smiling when it was necessary and talking when she had to answer a question. She was happy to see that Mark and Maddy were still together. They made a great couple. But having their perfect love just in front of her made her sick. She tried to sound joyful the whole dinner but it was far from how she really felt. To see this lovely family stabbed her in the heart. It was too much. It was too early for her to appreciate it. She wanted her life back. She wanted Lucas and her baby back.

"Don't you like it?" Dr Shannon asked, concerned. Alexandra hadn't noticed Elizabeth was staring at her, her plate still full of food.

"I do. It's really good. I'm not really hungry," she tried to reassure her.

"You look a little pale, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Everybody had stopped talking, staring at her now.

"I'm fine," she smiled. "I'm just not used to this anymore. I mean, having dinner with so many people at the same time. It's quite exhausting," She joked. Jim saved her, attempting to lighten the mood too.

"Yes, I understand you very much. Just know you are very lucky you don't have to live this everyday like I do," he laughed.

"Don't listen to him, my dad is always looking for someone to listen to his problems," Josh added.

"Be careful, I'm still your father. You have to show me respect!" Jim warned him, smiling. The dinner continued, everybody laughing and teasing each other members of the family.

Alexandra came back home around midnight. Her home. It didn't seem like her home. She went straight to bed, exhausted. Even though she was really tired, sleep didn't come. She had been staring at the ceiling for an hour now, thinking. She tried to analyze her situation. She was a pretty single woman, living on her own in a nice house. She had friends who had obviously forgiven her for her past decisions, the Shannon's were nice to her, again. So why was she so distressed? 'Maybe because your former boyfriend left you just after shouting at you and accidentally killed the child you were expecting. Yes, that could be an explanation for it,' She mocked herself. She couldn't feel anything else other than loneliness and abandonment. She didn't want to feel that way but if she was not sad, she was upset. Sometimes she was both and she'd rather be alone than yell at people, like she did with Skye earlier. She didn't want to hurt the Shannon's feelings because when she was rational, she knew they were doing their best to keep her happy. Like Commander Taylor was trying to do. Even if since their last argument, they had not talked a lot. Alexandra laid still on the bed, waiting for sleep to come.

_Alexandra was in the jungle. It was really dark out there and she couldn't see clearly where she was going but she couldn't stop her(self) from walking. Somebody was calling her name. She wanted to find out who it was. Suddenly, she oversaw a silhouette near a waterfall. Alexandra walked to it and realized it was a little girl with dark blond hair. "Hey, what are you doing here on your own, it's dangerous out there," she warned her. But the girl didn't reply. She was staring away to the falls. Alexandra stepped closer to her and turned her to face her. She screamed when she saw that the girl was covered in blood, her blood._

Alexandra awoke sweaty, screaming. She gulped, having a sore throat from shouting in her sleep. _'It's just a nightmare, relax_,' she told herself. But it seemed so real. And this little girl, she had beautiful intense green eyes, just like Lucas… She had the same nightmare the past few nights but she had not told Dr Shannon otherwise she'd have probably kept her longer in observation. As she could not go back to sleep, she got up and dressed to go outside. She remembered Dr Shannon said her daughter had a grave in the cemetery. She wasn't sure where it was, but she felt the urge to see where her baby was. She ran in the colony still asleep, avoiding the guards who were patrolling. And suddenly she saw it. At the edge of Terra Nova was a small cemetery. She slowed her pace progressively as she approached the entrance. She took a deep breath and pushed the little gate that served as entry. She cast a quick look at the names on the graves. Then she saw it. A small white tomb with no name on it. As he approached nearer, she noticed that there was a small inscription on it. "To Charlotte, our beloved daughter. We'll miss you forever. May God protect you. Rest in peace." Alexandra gasped. Only Lucas knew what she had wanted to call their daughter. Dr. Shannon had said he had left before the funeral. This could only mean one thing : he had come back to see her. Alexandra sat on the ground, her heart racing. Lucas had come back. She couldn't believe it. When? And why he didn't show up? She looked back to the grave. She caressed the top of it, feeling tears coming.

"Yes, we will miss you forever," she murmured. She quietly left the cemetery and ran to the orchard. There she lay near a tree, her legs resting on the trunk, feet in the air. She was daydreaming as she used to do before in the jungle, looking at the stars. She wondered where Lucas was. It seemed like déjà vu to her. Last time he had abandoned her, she had found it difficult to not think about him. Maybe she should try harder. Maybe he was not as good as she thought he was. After all, he had already left her twice and since she had met him she had always been in troubles. For the first time in her life, she was not sure what was best for her. When it came to feelings, her head was hopeless.

Lucas had never been that scared before. The fear of losing Alexandra and the baby had reached into a part of him that he didn't even know existed. When they had arrived at Terra Nova, Dr Shannon had taken her immediately to surgery. He had stayed with her the whole time. When he had seen his daughter dead, he had gone mad. Commander Taylor had asked guards to keep him away from the infirmary, from his baby, from Alexandra. After the surgery, Dr Shannon had told him Alexandra would be safe but that she would need time to heal. Lucas knew he couldn't stay in Terra Nova. His father had told him that he should go, that he had done enough bad things already. Lucas hated his father but couldn't agree more with him. He had shot Alexandra, nearly killed her, and had killed his own child, his daughter. He was sure Alexandra would never forgive him. He always knew he would destroy it but he had never thought it could be that bad. Once he was sure that she would be ok in Terra Nova, he had run away. His place was alone in the jungle, not in Terra Nova with her. He was a traitor, a pariah, a murderer, he had not been welcome there for a long time now. He had to leave her for her own good. For once, he had to not be selfish. However, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He wanted to know if she was fine. He wanted to see her. His life was too quiet, too empty without her in it. And he also wanted to know what had happened to his daughter. It hurt him to think he had a daughter and that he ruined it. One night the guilt was so unbearable that it had made him come back near Terra Nova. That was when he had seen his father in the cemetery. As he had realized what it meant, he had searched and found a way to get in Terra Nova. The image of the little white grave he saw that night would forever be in his head. With his knife, he had left a message for her, so his daughter would know she had been wanted and loved. Lucas was so close to Alexandra that he couldn't stop himself from sneaking into the infirmary. He had easily found her bedroom. There, peacefully asleep, he had seen Alexandra. He had come next to her and gently kissed her as a goodbye.

"I'm sorry," he had whispered before leaving, running away from her.


	18. A new start

**A new start**

Between sadness and anger, Alexandra had decided anger was the best choice. Maybe it was just the easiest but she didn't care anymore. She was bored being sad. With her emotions shut off, she felt better. But with no feelings, she had become careless. Some would say a little bit wild. But she didn't care what people would say anymore. She was fed up with Terra Nova. She found it boring here. And to make her bored, you should have to push it far. People always looked at her with pity. "_Poor little thing, she lost her baby and her boyfriend ran away._" When it was not pity, it was suspicion. "_She slept with the traitor and got pregnant. Horrible girl, I feel sorry for her parents_." Of course, they never said it to her, but she knew it and that was worst. It had been two weeks since she had left the infirmary but she was still on drugs. Dr Shannon had asked her to rest but Alexandra couldn't. She had decided she needed a night off and had gone to Boylan's. She wanted a drink, a strong one. She had been seated for only few minutes when a soldier came to talk to her.

"Helloooo," he warbled.

"Hello?" She frowned.

"So you are… hmm... the French girl aren't you?"

"That would be me." She forced a smile which looked like more like a grimace than a smile.

"See, I'm with my friends over there," he gestured to show her some obviously drunk guys. "And we were wondering if you'd like to join us." This soldier seemed as drunk as the others. Alexandra didn't want to go with them. She knew nothing good could come out of it. She was there to change the ideas, not to do one's head in. She had already had enough problems like that the last two weeks. She had been upset with Josh for the umpteenth time. Skye was avoiding her since she had accused her of being a kid. Tasha and Hunter had ended up going out together and they spent their days glued to each other. What she was missing was someone her age or older who was neither Jim, nor Taylor, nor Lucas. In fact, someone new to help her move forward.

"It's really nice of you but I'd rather stay alone tonight." She said gently but firmly. As he stayed in front of her, she added a thank you, hoping he would go away.

"Oh come on, why would a pretty girl like you would stay alone, huh? Don't be shy!" He was too close to her, she didn't like it at all.

"Thanks but no thanks," she replied coldly stopping herself from punching him.

"Aaaah my friends warned me French girls were cold and I didn't want to believe them," he sneered. "Come on! Prove them they're wrong!"

"She said she's not interested," a voice behind her said harshly. "So move on soldier."

The soldier seemed confused and tried to apologize before walking back to his friends. Alexandra turned to see her savior. She had seen him before with Taylor, but she didn't know his name. He was tall, had dark hair and dark blue eyes. His skin was lightly tanned.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm perfectly fine," she answered, trying to sound joyous.

"Well, you look like shit to me," he smirked.

"Do I?" She laughed, surprised by so much outspokenness. "Thank you for your honesty! Actually, I do feel I like that." He sat next to her.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked, a smile on his face showing bright white teeth. He was a good-looking man. Maybe in his 30's.

"My mother always told me not to accept a drink from a stranger," she quickly replied.

"And she was right! I forgot the most elementary rules of politeness, forgive me. I'm Damon, Damon Keagan. I'm a lieutenant here. I work with Commander Taylor, but I assume you already know that."

"I do. I saw you with him a few times."

"Can I buy you a drink now?"

"Don't you wanna know my name?"

"I already know who you are."

"Oh really?" she smiled.

"Alexandra Paris, born the 16 of June 1991 in Paris. No brother or sister. Parents were scientists, disappeared the 1st January 2005…"

"Ok, ok enough. I got it, you know my entire life. Understood." She didn't like it. He knew her whole life, she was sure of it. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why have you read my files?"

"I'm a soldier, I like to know where I'm going."

"Are you spying me?"

"Nope. Just wanted to know if you were old enough to drink so I could buy you one!" He gave her a bright proud smile. Alexandra thought he was handsome.

"Good one!" she chuckled, "Are you always doing such searches on the girls you try to date then?" She joked.

"No, only the pretty ones," he grinned. She grinned back at him, her cheeks flushing.

"It's gonna be a gin and tonic for me then!"

She spent the night talking to Damon. She enjoyed his company, he was funny and she hadn't laughed for a while. She even danced with him. He clearly flirted with her and she liked it. She felt desired, pretty and alive. After two drinks, she felt sick. The combination of the drugs and painkillers, plus the gin and tonic she had drunk, was not doing well on her. It was when Taylor arrived at the bar. Bad timing. When Taylor saw Alexandra drunk, he came to her and asked her to go back home. She didn't like the way he talked to her. The alcohol made her say things she knew she would regret the next day.

"I'm not coming with you," she hissed. "You're not my father and even if you were I'm old enough to decide what I wanna do."

"Alexandra Paris, if you do not follow me right now, I'll have to force you. Don't push me too far. If I have to carry you on my shoulders I'll do it." Her eyes widened in disbelief. Carry her? No way.

"I said no," she sulked, arms crossed.

"You don't leave me any other choice then," Taylor stepped closer to her to reach her. She spun to run away and ended behind Damon, hiding.

"Don't act like a stubborn child," she heard Taylor say. Damon put his hands in front of him in peace.

"Commander, if you allow me to, I will walk her back home." Alexandra froze while Taylor quickly deliberated.

"Lieutenant Keagan, I appreciate your offer. Do what you have to do to bring her safe back home. I'll talk with her later, when she's sober." Then he waved goodbye and walked out. Damon turned to face Alexandra.

"Let's go my lovely rebellious teen!" He mocked. He put his arm around her waist and pushed her towards the exit. Strangely, she didn't mind having his arm around her waist. On the way home, she felt so sick that she vomited. 'Nice' she thought, 'that's a really good way to seduce a guy'. However, Damon didn't seem to be annoyed or disgusted. He stayed next to her, keeping her hair out of her face, gently brushing her back.

"Next time I'll buy you some water," he chuckled. He helped her get inside her house. She didn't want to, but he insisted on walking her to her bed. He lay her on the bed, took her shoes off and put a blanket on her. Alexandra had fallen asleep the second she had been in the bed.

"Sleep well," he whispered before kissing her forehead.

The next day, Alexandra woke up with a huge hangover. She wasn't sure what happened last night but she did remember she had told Taylor to go away. She felt utterly stupid and ashamed. He was going to make her pay for that, one way or another. When she sat up, she had to urge to go to the toilets to throw up. God, she had to stop drinking! She felt disgusting. The shower helped her to feel better. With clean hair and body, and nice breath, she walked out into the sun. She had found sunglasses in the house and appreciated having taken them. She went discretely to the grove, not wanting to meet anyone, and lay down under a tree, her legs up on the trunk. It didn't take too long before she fell asleep.

"Hiding from the boss, are we?" a voice woke her up.

"Noooooo," she mumbled. "Just enjoying the peace before the storm."

Damon kneeled down next to her and gently pushed her sunglasses up.

"You don't look that bad!"

"Go away!" she smacked his hand. He laughed and walked away.

"Good luck with the storm," he chuckled. Taylor arrived not long after Damon's departure.

"Tired are we?"

Alexandra didn't move and kept her sunglasses on. She didn't want to be impolite but she felt safe hidden behind them. She pursed her lips, not sure what to say. She felt a tear running down her cheek. She cursed her body for letting her down so easily. She was tired and sad. Her anger had gone during the night. Taylor kneeled next to her and took her sunglasses off. He wasn't expecting what he saw. Actually, he wanted her to fight with him again so he could show her who was in charge here. But the guilt and sadness he could see on her face had caught him off guard.

"Alexandra…" He sighed, feeling suddenly sorry for her. "You need to talk to me. If not me, talk to somebody else but you have to say what you've got inside. Hatred, sadness, anger… Maybe all. You can't stay this way, you can't act like a wild animal all the time. People are worried about you." She slowly sat up, looking into Taylor's eyes.

"I know," she stated. She looked down to her hands. "I owe you an apology for last night. I know I acted like a spoiled child. I've felt horrible since… since Lucas abandoned me here. I feel like I'm burning inside, I'm broken, lost… But I want it to change, I want my life to get back on track."

"I'm really happy to hear it. And I accept your apology. If you want to stay here, you need to find a job, to earn money, so you are in charge of your life. I'll help you if you need me to."

"Actually, I thought about it. And if you're ok with it, I'd like to be one of your soldiers."

"Really? Don't you want to do something more… more girly?" Taylor was surprised. He knew Alexandra was tough. Though, she was a real girl in many ways. She chuckled.

"No sir, I want to fight for a good cause, I want to protect my home, I want to protect Terra Nova."

"Well, you look sure of what you want and I'm sure you could be useful."

"You won't regret it, I swear, you'll be proud of me."

"I already am," he said, his bright eyes looking deeply into hers.

"You're proud of me?" She asked in disbelief.

"You are a survivor Alex. You've been through a lot and you're still here fighting for what you believe in. You have principles and you keep to them. So yes, I'm proud of you Alex."

Alexandra sat up and embraced him. Taylor stiffened in surprise but quickly wrapped his arms around her. She felt comfort in his arms, feeling safe like she had not felt what seemed to be a long time.

The next day, Taylor brought Alexandra to the training session. She was surprisingly really good at it. Taylor didn't know she was that strong. She was fighting with another soldier and was going to win the fight.

"Do you think… Huh… '_he_' taught her?" Jim asked, curious.

"My son is above all a scientist, not a soldier. Even if he knows how to fight, I don't think he trained her." Taylor answered, his gaze still on Alexandra. "I wonder where she learnt that," he murmured to himself.

"What do you reckon?" She asked proudly, panting. She had beaten the other soldier and was thrilled.

"Not bad," Taylor mocked. "Let's see how you shoot." Alexandra followed him to the shooting range.

"You see the targets out there? The goal is to target strategic points like the head or the heart. Go ahead and try."

Taylor did not show her how to do it. He wanted to test her. He looked at her arming the gun. She stood as a good soldier would have done and positioned her arms. She thought of some inspiration then held her breath to shoot. Everything happened very quickly and Taylor could not believe his eyes when he approached the target. Alexandra had shot it twice in the head and there were three bullets in the heart.

"Am I good enough to be part of your team now?" She beamed.

"Yes you are," Taylor replied, impressed. "You're more than good actually. How did you learn how to shoot like that?" He asked, suspicious.

"Hmmm… I guess I didn't know my own strength." Alexandra noticed Taylor's suspicious gaze. "Let just say that I'm a girl full of surprises!" She added.

Taylor noticed she had avoided answering his question but he didn't push her to tell him the truth. He knew it was her way of saying she didn't want to talk about it and he was ready to accept that as long as he could trust her. In the end, she would always tell him what she thought. Taylor was ready to be patient. He didn't want to fight with her like he did back at the infirmary.

"Lieutenant Keagan is going to be your partner."

"Damon?" She winced.

"Is it a problem for you?"

"No. Not at all. It's ok." She forced a smile. "Commander," she added when she saw his eyes narrowed, waiting for something.

"Good. Ask Mark Reynolds to show you where to find a uniform. You'll start tomorrow at 7. Don't be late."

Alexandra winced. She had not thought she would have to wake up early. She was not a morning person. However, she was not going to give up. She had found a new goal and she would keep working towards it.

* * *

><p>Hmm… I wonder what Lucas would think about Alex being a soldier for his father… What about this guy, Damon. I bet he would not like him! Can't wait for your reviews!<p> 


	19. Yours for ever

To 'Terra Nova Fan', about your question, let's just say that Damon can be whoever you want. A sexy dark hair guy with blue eyes. I could say I thought about Ian Somerhalder a bit, but it's not entirely true because _my_ Damon is a mix between great actors I know, all sexy though!

People who missed Lucas, you might enjoy this chapter!

Don't forget to review it! It's always a pleasure to read your comments.

* * *

><p><strong>Yours for ever<strong>

Damon and Alexandra were good partners. Alexandra was pretty sure Taylor had put them together so Damon could keep an eye on her. But it didn't bother her anymore. Damon was smart, generous and funny. And the icing on the cake, he was rather handsome. He was Australian and Alexandra thought his accent was sexy. He was 28 and had been a lieutenant for many years now, that proved that he was a trustful person. In the last two weeks, they had handled every missions Taylor had given them. Most of the time, it had been surveillance in Terra Nova. However, a few times, it had been searches in the jungle. Alexandra never liked it. She was too afraid of meeting Mira, the Sixers, the Phoenix group or even Lucas. She didn't know which was worse. What she liked the most with Damon was that she didn't have to tell him her story, he already knew everything. It was easier that way. Damon had replaced Alicia Washington so Taylor had told him what he needed to know.

Damon and Alexandra, along with six other soldiers, including Mark, were on patrol in the jungle. Suddenly, someone cut off their route. They managed to distinguish a silhouette that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. They stopped the vehicle.

"Eric and Thomas, you go this way. Cameron and Tim, this way," commanded Damon. "Mark, Alex, with me."

"It looks like an ambush to me," Alexandra murmured to Damon, looking everywhere, her gun ready to shoot in every direction.

"I know," he whispered, glancing around him. "But we still have to check."

Alexandra and Mark followed Damon, ready to use their weapons if needed. They disappeared into the thick jungle. Suddenly, they heard gunshots. They squatted down, breathing heavily. Alexandra stared at Damon and Mark. Silently, Damon made signs with his hands, indicating his orders and the directions to take. They nodded to prove their agreement. They began to run and suddenly something crashed into Alexandra, pushing her to one side. She found herself stuck against a tree, trapped.

"What..." Alexandra began to say before a hand clamped over her mouth, silencing her. Alexandra stared at the man standing in front of her, his eyes warning her to keep quiet, his body against hers, his warmth spreading over her. Her heart was racing, her eyes blinking in disbelief. There he was. Lucas was here, in front of her, alive. She wanted to see him again so badly, to know he was alright, but all she could feel now was anger. She tried to free herself but his grip was too strong. She glanced away just in time to see Damon and Mark being abducted by the Sixers. She wanted to go and help them. She wanted to save them but she couldn't, he would not let her go. They glared at each other for what seemed to be ages until Lucas decided to slowly take is hand off her mouth, sure she would stay quiet, sure the danger had passed.

Alexandra didn't move, her eyes still locked onto his perfect and deep green eyes. He stepped away, creating a space between them. The cold reached Alexandra's body, bringing her back to reality. Without a word, she started to walk away but he caught her hand, stopping her. She turned and slapped him with her free hand. She regretted it instantly because she didn't want to hurt him, but also because his eyes suddenly reflected madness. She shook her head, her mouth agape, her heart hammering in her chest. No sound came out from her mouth. Within seconds he had grabbed her wrists and pushed her back against the tree. His face was inches from hers, scowling. Excitement mixed with anger were emanating from their bodies as they were staring at each other. The tension between the two was palpable. Lucas crossed the short distance there was between them and kissed her. Alexandra kissed him back. She didn't think she would, but at his touch, she forgot everything. They kissed passionately until Lucas split their embrace, panting. They looked again at each other before Lucas released her from his grip. Alexandra glanced one last time at the beautiful green eyes that were observing her, then she shut her eyes and took a deep breath. This time, he let her go. She didn't hesitate and ran away, leaving Lucas behind her, both of them not sure of what had just happened. Alexandra ran back to their vehicle and realized it had gone.

"Damn it," she swore out loud, before running in the direction of Terra Nova. She reached the gate after only 30 minutes. Out of breath, she asked the soldier she met at the gate to call for the commander. She was still panting when Taylor and Jim arrived at the gate.

"What happened?" Taylor quickly asked.

"An ambush. The Sixers. They abducted everyone," she said, breathless.

"How did you escape?" A long silence followed Taylor's question. Alexandra looked at them, gulping. She had no other choice than tell them the truth.

"Lucas."

"What Lucas?"

"He saved me."

"How?"

"He hid me from them."

"And after he just freed you?" Taylor believed her but didn't believe his son enough to think he would have released her so easily.

"He let me go." Of course, Alexandra skipped the kiss part. She didn't even know that she had not dreamt it. When she saw Taylor's suspicious look, she added. "I don't know why he did it."

"We all know why he did that," Jim spoke for the first time.

"Oh really, and why would he do that then?" Alexandra asked more harshly than she had intended to. She didn't know why her anger was suddenly back. "Come on tell me, if you know him so well!"

"Because he loves you," interrupted Taylor. Alexandra froze in shock, as the words Taylor had just said sank into her. Taylor seemed as shocked as Alexandra. He had said those words without thinking. It was just obvious to him now. At first he had thought Lucas' guilty attitude would have whipped off once he went back into the jungle. But now, it was different.

"We need a plan to rescue the others." Jim ended the silence that had filled the space between them.

"It might be a trap," Alexandra said, realizing Lucas could have saved her so she could bring Taylor to him.

"We have to take that risk. We can't leave them there. Jim, ask some soldiers to come with us. Alex, you stay here."

"No. No, I want to come with you. I won't leave them. We are a team and my partner is in danger. I won't abandoned him. Damon needs me. Mark needs me."

"Mark? What happened to Mark?"

They all turned to see Maddy standing not far away from them.

"Maddy, Mark had been captured by the sixers. But we are going to save him. I swear to you," Jim said, cupping her worried face in his hands.

"Bring him back to me, dad, please," she begged.

Alexandra felt horrible for her. She knew how it feels to be helpless when someone you care about is in danger.

"Ok, we don't have much time if we want to find them before dark. We need two vehicles. Alex, you are going to show us where you were attacked. Then we will be able to track them to their camp."

It took them less than 10 minutes to get to where the ambush had taken place. They followed the tire tracks left by the stolen vehicle. They had cleaned their way but they did not count on the experience of Taylor. When it came to tracking, he was the best. They found their temporary camp fairly quickly. Jim immediately saw Mark and the other soldiers attached to trees. Alexandra noticed that Damon was bleeding from his forehead. He had surely tried to defend himself. He was not the kind of person who would be captured without saying anything.

"We can surround them through there," Taylor explained, gesturing to show where to go. While all the others were listening carefully to Taylor, Alexandra looked elsewhere. A hut in a tree had attracted her attention. There she would go during the attack. She knew the others would be rescued with or without her. She had something more important to do. While, Jim and two other soldiers silently approached the prisoners to release them, Taylor and others were preparing to fight the Sixers. They were trying to free the last of the soldiers, when they were spotted by one of the Sixers, who sounded the alarm. Taylor did not hesitate a second and ran toward them to fight, closely followed by the other soldiers who had remained at his side. Alexandra ran too, but in the opposite direction. She climbed to the tree house she had seen earlier.

"I think we haven't finished our last conversation," Alexandra scowled, once in the hut.

The woman in front of her turned slowly to face her, hands in the air as she realized Alexandra was drawing her rifle on her.

"Alex. What a pleasure. It's been a while," she smirked.

"How funny, I was thinking the same Mira," she smirked back.

"I'm unarmed." Mira stated. Alexandra gave her a quick look and realized she had no weapons on her.

"Let's do it the old fashion way then," Alexandra said, putting her gun back into her belt. They both ran towards each other. Alexandra gave a heavy and efficient punch to Mira first, making her fall on the ground.

"Does it hurt?" She said ironically, shaking her hand to ease the pain that was running in it, caused by her punch. She quickly kneeled on her, punching her again. Mira's attempts to protect her face were useless. She eventually succeeded in grabbing Alexandra's shoulders and spinning her. Mira was on her now. Alexandra pushed her but Mira grabbed her arms, leaving Alexandra powerless. Alexandra sat high enough to kick her head with hers. Despite the pain, Mira didn't release her grip.

"You're better than you were," Mira spat through gritted teeth, her face covered in blood.

"I've been trained a bit," Alexandra mocked. She tried to free herself but couldn't. She was moving her body under Mira's. She made a last move with her hips, succeeding in pushing her off. They rolled over, still fighting. They had not noticed they were close to the entrance now. They continued to roll until they fell from the tree. They stared at each other, both surprised, as they realized what was happening. Alexandra tried to catch a rope during her fall and caught Myra's hand too, but with their weight and the speed of their fall, she had it just slowed them down. Alexandra screamed as the rope burnt her palm. They both fell hardly on the ground, unconscious. When Alexandra was conscious again, she searched for Mira and discovered she was lying next to her, still unconscious. Alexandra tried to stand up but her head was spinning. She managed to kneel, holding her head with her hands. When she turned her head back to Mira, she suddenly realized that she was not there anymore. She glanced around and saw her, standing in front of her, a gun pointing on her head. Alexandra ran her hand to her belt and realized Mira had stolen her gun.

"I guess I win again," she smirked.

"Drop your gun!" A male voice commanded.

"You first!" Mira replied, grabbing Alexandra's arm and standing her in front of her, using her as a bullet vest, the gun pointing at her head.

"Damon, shoot her!" Alexandra yelled.

Damon was quickly joined by Taylor, Jim and the others soldiers. Damon couldn't shoot Mira without risking hurting Alexandra.

"Let me go or I kill her," Mira warned them, walking slowly in reverse back into the jungle.

"Let her go Mira," ordered Taylor.

"Sorry Commander but I might keep her as a hostage. She might be useful." Mira knew Alexandra could be a good bargaining chip for her to force Lucas to work on the portal again. He had come back to them two weeks ago but didn't want to work on it. Suddenly, a gunshot stopped everyone. Alexandra had shut her eyes, sure it was the end for her. When she realized she was still standing up, she opened her eyes and saw surprise and shock in everyone's eyes. She turned slowly and saw what they were all looking at, who they were all staring at. Lucas was there, his gun still pointing in her direction. Alexandra glanced on the ground and discovered Mira, dead, laying on the ground. Her gaze came back to Lucas. He had saved her, again. Her eyes filled with tears, unable to control her body which was shaking from shock. Lucas was staring at her, his intense green eyes begging her for forgiveness. Then he left as he had arrived, fast and silently. Taylor didn't try to pursue him. He still couldn't believe it. His son had shot Mira. She was one of his links to his boss back in 2149. Now, he would be in big troubles with them, whoever they were. He had risked it because of Alexandra. His son had changed, he couldn't deny it. However, he was still a traitor and a person you couldn't trust. He was a genius and was always a step ahead.

Damon ran to Alexandra before she fell, her legs not able to hold her anymore. He carried her in his arms to their vehicle. She thanked him but it was the only thing she was able to say the whole way back. All of her thoughts were for Lucas and what had just happened. She had started a new life without him and suddenly her world was upside down again because of him.

Alexandra was Lucas' weakness and Mira knew it. He had no choice other than to kill her. She would always be a problem. He had already warned Mira in the past not to hurt Alexandra again. When he had seen her trying to abduct her, he had not thought twice before pulling the trigger. He didn't know what his father's expression had meant when he had seen him, but when Alexandra had turned to face him, sadness, relief and gratitude had crossed her face. He didn't wait to see what happened then. He had to go. His father was here and he was still a threat to him. However, Lucas wanted to know if Alexandra was alright. He had seen her fall down. She could have broken bones or die from internal injuries. Lucas knew a way to get into Terra Nova. He had to see her, to know she was alright, to be sure she was ok.


	20. Is sorry enough ?

**Is sorry enough ?**

Everyone was back inTerra Nova and alive. Damon drove Alexandra straight to the infirmary so Dr Shannon could check on her.

"I should have a loyalty card," Alexandra joked.

"Or you could try not to be so reckless and stay away from danger," Damon mocked.

Alexandra's right hand was covered in bruises. She didn't mind the pain because it had been caused by her punching on Mira's face. However, her burnt palm was really annoying. She couldn't clench her fist properly.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Damon asked, taking her hand up so he could look at her palms.

"I'll survive."

"It might take longer to heal than you think." Damon winced as he saw how deep her palm had been burnt.

"So, what do we have here?," Dr Shannon said, entering the room. "Alex? What happened?" Her eyes were filled with concern.

"Nothing really," she tried to reassure her. "I burnt my hand with a rope."

"And fell from a tree," Damon added, his eyes narrowed, locked on her.

"You fell from a tree?" Dr Shannon asked in disbelief.

"A tiny tree."

"A big tree." Damon added again.

"Only 2 metres," Alexandra shook her head, glaring at Damon.

"3 metres at least!"

"Damon could you just… Don't you have somewhere else to go?" She muttered. "Why don't you go and see a doctor for your forehead?"

"I'm fine here." He teased, a smile spreading across his face.

Dr Shannon watched their ping pong chat, lost.

"Dr Shannon, Damon makes it look a lot worse than it is in reality."

"No I don't!" He said, faking to be shock. Alexandra frowned at him.

"Don't mind him, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Well, it's not really her fault. She doesn't remember what happened. Maybe because she was unconscious," he smirked at her.

"Alex, you lost consciousness?" Dr Shannon was shock now. "It's serious Alex! You can't hide this from me!"

"Just for a few seconds, nothing to worry about," Alexandra exhaled loudly, annoyed.

"Ok, Damon, please, leave us. Alex, I'm going to scan you. You could have a concussion or internal bleeding. I need to check every possibility."

Damon waved at Alexandra, a big proud smile on his face, before leaving the room. Dr Shannon did all the exams she needed to and cleaned Alexandra's burn before bandaging it.

"Alexandra, your results are good but I'd like you to stay here for observation, just in case."

"No. I won't stay here. I'm okay. You just said it."

"You fell from almost 3 metres high. This is serious."

"If there is anything abnormal, I'll come back. I swear." She said, sitting on the bed, tying up her shoes.

"You are really pale Alex. It does worry me a lot."

"Dr Shannon," she paused. "Elizabeth. The only reason why I'm pale is because I just saw the woman who tortured me being shot dead by my ex who actually saved my life doing it. So yes, I'm pale. Yes, I'm in shock. But you checked on me and you found nothing so the only thing I need right now is to go back home, have a shower and a good night of sleep." Dr Shannon was worried but she knew she couldn't force Alexandra to stay.

"Call me if you need to. Don't hesitate. Even if it seems insignificant."

"I'll do it."

"I walk her back home." Damon said, entering the room. His tone told her that she had no choice in the matter. They left the infirmary, Damon walking behind her.

"You don't need to walk that fast," he said lightly. Alexandra kept her quick pace. "Hey wait, hey Alex wait for me," he said, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Why did you have to be such a pain in the ass earlier? I thought you were on my side!"

"I am! And this is why I told her the truth. Honestly, did you expect me to act any different?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You could have," she sighed.

"Would not be me, would it?" He smiled lightly.

"No," she smiled too. "Try harder next time," she joked.

"I'll think about it," he smirked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Come on girl, I want to fulfill this mission."

"Mission?"

"Taking you back home safely!" Damon accompanied her to her house and then stood outside with her. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked, his head tilting to see her face. Alexandra deliberated in her head but thought she would be better on her own.

"I'll be okay. But thank you. For everything," she said, before giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Ok. I'll see you later then. Goodnight Alex."

"Good night Damon."

Alexandra was feeling stiff. She went directly to the bathroom and stayed in the shower until she ran out of hot water and had no choice other than to get out. She put her pajamas on, ready to go to bed. She stopped on her way to the bedroom, glancing at her empty living room. Maybe she should have asked Damon to stay. She didn't like to be alone after all. She felt the necessity to sit on the sofa. Thinking of what had happened today made her cry. She couldn't help it. She was lost. She had turned her feelings for Lucas off and now she realized how much she still missed him.

"I'm sorry." A voice came from a dark corner of the room. Alexandra slowly took her head out of her hands and whiped away the tears from her cheeks. She looked at where the voice had come from. Lucas was there, standing next to the door. They stared at each other, not sure what to do. Lucas was relieved to see she was alright. She seemed distressed though, but Lucas could understand why after such a bad day. A knock at the door broke their endless deep look. Alexandra walked to the door, well aware of Lucas, inches from her. She opened the door slightly, Lucas still behind it, hidden from the outside. It was Taylor.

"I just wanted to check on you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine thank you. My back and my hand are painful though. But I can handle it."

"You've been crying?" he suddenly asked, concerned, as he noticed her red eyes.

"It's okay, I'm just exhausted. And I put some soap in my eyes in the shower. It's nothing. I think I just need some rest. A good night of sleep and it will be like nothing happened." She forced a smile. It didn't fool Taylor.

"Just know, if you want to talk, I'm here."

"Thank you Taylor. I won't forget it." She nodded before closing the door. She rested her head on the door and started crying again. It was too much to hold in. Lucas couldn't stay so close to her and do nothing. He stepped to her and dared to pull her against him, his hands on her waist. She didn't push him away, she felt safe in his arms, her head buried in his chest.

"I can leave you if you want to stay alone," he said after a minute, even though he hoped she would allow him to stay. She didn't reply but he felt her head moving from side to side on his chest, meaning no, asking him to stay. He tightened his embrace, relieved. He rocked her lightly, his head on hers. "You should get some sleep," he whispered to her ear. He felt her nod in his chest. Then he led her to her bedroom and gently lay her on the bed, covering her with a blanket. He caressed her cheek with his hand and was ready to leave her when, still wordless, Alexandra caught his hand. Her eyes were begging him not to leave her alone. He carefully laid on the side next to her, wrapping her in his arms, soothing her. It didn't take too long for her to fall asleep. It was a blank sleep for her, no dreams, no nightmare. Just a peaceful, warm and safe sleep.

When Alexandra woke up the next morning, she was alone. She wondered if she had dreamt all of it. But the smell of Lucas all over her told her it had been real. She walked in the kitchen and found a note from Lucas saying that he'd be back tonight. Alexandra had a huge headache and the lights were hurting her eyes. She took some pills Dr Shannon had given her to ease her pain. She changed the bandage of her hand and got dressed. She thought some fresh air would help her headache to go away. She walked a bit, not knowing where she was headed. She ended in front of Damon's house. She knocked at his door and was surprised when he opened it.

"You're not working?" She asked.

"Are you always expecting people to be out when you come to knock at their door?" He mocked.

"Weird habit, huh?"

"I thought Taylor gave you a day off?"

"Doesn't mean I can't come and visit you, does it? I wanted to be sure my partner was still operational after he hit his head. Because otherwise I'll have to find another better one."

"You couldn't find a better one." He stated.

"You are severely overestimating yourself," she teased.

"Do you want to come in?" Alexandra had actually never been in his house. "Don't worry, it's not a trap. You can leave whenever you want," he smiled, leading her inside.

"You could be surprised how good I am when it came to escaping from a place!" She mused, following him inside.

Damon and Alexandra talked together part of the afternoon. It had always been easy to talk freely to him. But Alexandra had been exhausted quickly, her headache was back to a high level of pain. She thanked him for the tea and left him. She bumped into Jim on her way back home.

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?"

"Good."

"I saw you were with Damon, huh?"

"Indeed, I was," she replied, her eyebrows furrowed.

"He is a good man isn't he? And he is smart. Did you know he has been a lieutenant since he was 24?" Alexandra had a puzzled expression on her face. "And he is handsome, don't you think?"

"Are you trying to set me up with Lieutenant Damon Keagan?" Alexandra asked, astonishment in her voice.

"Is it working?" He smiled.

"How old are you Jim?" She laughed. "Is it why Taylor asked him to be my partner? So I could fall in love with a new guy?" She was stunned now as she realized what all of this could mean.

"Oh come on Alex, we all saw the way you looked at him." Jim said proudly. Alexandra shook her head.

"You should do what you're good at, instead of pretending to be a dating service Jim," she mocked, before walking away.

"And for your concern, just know that he is the one who asked to be your partner, not us," Jim yelled.

Alexandra didn't stop but thought about what Jim had said the whole way back to her house. She didn't want it to be true. If it was, it would imply too much. She liked the relationship she had with Damon. She liked it how it was now. If Damon was expecting more it could be a problem. He was a great guy, he would be the perfect boyfriend actually. But she was not sure she wanted it to happen. Her head was saying she should, her heart was telling a different story.

"What's wrong with me?" she mumbled to herself as she opened her door to go inside her house.


	21. For the worst and for the best

**For the worst and for the best**

When Alexandra came back home that night, she found Lucas waiting for her. He was sitting on a chair next to the sofa. Alexandra walked to the dinner table and grabbed a seat. They stared at each other during a minute.

"Alex…"Lucas started to say, apologizing.

"You abandoned me!" She cut him off. During her walk back to the house she had thought about Damon, which in turn had made her think about Lucas. It had reminded her of why she was so upset with him and why she had sought comfort with Damon. "You said you wouldn't but you did. You abandoned me, again." She paused, glaring at him. She had so much to say to him, words were fighting to escape from her mouth. "I didn't know where you were, how you were. I was worried about you. You just left me without saying goodbye. I didn't even know if I could trust your father. He told me that you had left without any explanations. Nothing else. How could I know what to do after hearing that? It took me a month to get better. I've been a mess and you weren't here to see it, to help with it. I coped on my own. Your hatred for your father separated us."

"There is not a day I haven't thought about you. Not an hour, a minute, a second without your face on my mind. I've been a mess too." He tried to explain, but Alexandra cut him off again.

"Why should I care? You've punished yourself by living alone in the jungle. Did it help? Can't you see that you have punished me too? I didn't want you to go away, I needed you." She was yelling now.

"I came back the next day. I've never been far. I watched you, I took care of you even if you haven't noticed it. I was there every day."

"You should have come back. You should have told me you were there. Instead, you left me alone. You acted like a selfish bastard."

"I shot you, I killed our child!" His eyes were filled with tears. He knew she was right. He had abandoned her. "How could I stay with you? You were safer without me, you deserved to live here, I didn't. I'm not good enough for you."

"It was an accident. Accidents do happen all the time. You can't avoid them. It's only your hatred for your father that made you leave me. I'm not gonna forgive you for that unless you do something about it, unless you work it out."

"It has nothing to do with him," he snapped. "I KILLED OUR CHILD! I AM A MURDERER," he yelled. She knew he was not only talking about their child. He had killed people, Alexandra was aware of it. But it was before she met him, and with Mira, it was to save her life. She was not going to be sorry she died.

"I am the one who has the scar on my flesh. I am the one who's not going to forget what happened. I should be the one to decide if I want you to be punished or not. That's always been your problem. You always want to decide what's best for me!"

"That's not true. But I know when I'm right, and I won't apologize for that."

"But it's not your decision to make!"

"I can't be as sorry as you think I should. I made the decision I thought was good at the time."

"It was an accident for god sake! You should not feel guilty about it. I…I don't blame you," she paused, thinking about what she wanted to tell him for a long time now. She had made a conclusion about what she really wanted, why she was so sad he had left her. "I don't know if it makes me a bad person, but I'd rather be with you than without you, even after what happened. It must look selfish, but I'd rather be with you without a child, than with your child without you. I couldn't be a widow with a child. I wanted to raise a child with you, not without you."

"Can't you see how wrong you are? It's not safe for you to be with me. I'm dangerous. Can you grasp that in this little head of yours?" His voice whipped out, low and harsh.

"No," she shook her head. She was not sure she could speak anymore, her throat tightening.

"Are you crying?" He asked, his voice still raw. Then he saw her quickly rubbing her cheeks with her hands.

"No," she said, tremble in the voice. She had not realized tears were running on her face. She cursed herself for being so weak.

"Alex…"He sighed, his voice gentle now.

"Don't. Please don't." Alexandra managed to say. She wanted him to stop speaking so she could think straight. He looked deep in her eyes with a questioning gaze.

"Why? Why me?" He was confused. After everything he had done wrong, after all of his mistakes, she still wanted him to be with her. That didn't make any sense.

"Because I love you…" She murmured, her eyes filled with tears. "I love you so much." She shook her head and hid it in her hands. Lucas's heart tightened. She loved him? He was appalled. He stood up from the sofa, walked to her, lifted her face and gave her an intense kiss.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice burning with regret. "I'm so sorry. I won't let you down again. I swear to you, you'll be proud of me. You won't be disappointed again," he swore. Lucas lifted her up and wrapped her with his arms.

"Will you forgive me one day for being such dick?" He felt her chuckled in his chest.

"I forgave you the day I saw what you had written on our daughter's grave," she answered seriously, looking back to him, her eyes wet. He cupped her face with his hands and brushed her cheeks with his thumbs.

"You're too good to be true," he whispered, before kissing her gently. They walked to the sofa and lay on it, Lucas on his back, Alexandra over him in his arms. After a long moment of silence, Alexandra spoke again.

"I need to tell you something about me I have never told anyone," she said. "I want you to listen carefully. Don't say anything, just listen ok?"

She felt Lucas nod, his head above hers.

"Your father asked me once how I knew how to fight. I never answered him. There's a reason, and I'm not proud of it." She took a deep breath and continued. "When I was 17, I went out with some friends. We met some guys and enjoyed the night out with them. One of them flirted with me but I didn't care. He was not my type anyway. In the early morning, I wanted to go back home. The girls wanted to stay so I walked back alone. In a dark alley, I met a guy. The guy who was with us before, the guy I had said no to. He was clearly drunk and he…" She paused. "He raped me," she managed to say. Her heart was racing in her chest. It was so strange to tell someone this story. It was foreign to her to actually hear this story. She had it in her mind but she had never said it out loud. She glanced at Lucas and noticed his face had darkened and felt him clench his fists, but he didn't say a single word.

"I've never told anyone because I was supposed to be home that night and I was too afraid of people's reactions… I was too young to know it didn't matter why it has happened. I should have told someone." She confessed. "But I'm not telling you that so you pity me. What happened next does concern you more." He looked deeply into her eyes, waiting for the next. She had his full attention. "I felt so hopeless after that accident that I spent few months in a training center. I learnt how to control myself, defend myself. They taught me how to fight and how to shoot. Two years after, I met that guy at a party. He talked to me like we had never met before. Actually, he flirted with me. He didn't even recognize me! Can you believe that?" She pursed her lips, shaking her head. "It was too much for me. I didn't know I had kept so much anger in me during that time. That night, I followed him back to his house. I saw he lived alone. It was too tempting. I used to carry a small gun with me, in my purse, just in case." Lucas was pretty sure he knew the end of this story but he let her talk. "I waited for him to go to sleep. I broke into his house and woke him up. I asked him if he knew who I was. He didn't. He begged me to let him live, he told me he was too young to die, that he had a life to live. I remember I thought that I begged him when he had attacked me and he didn't care, so why should I?" She paused, looking for Lucas's eyes. He had frozen. Anger, fury, disgust or pain in his eyes, maybe all of those feelings, she wasn't sure. "I shot him," she stated. "I watched him die. Then I stole his money, some jewelery and I ran away. The police thought it was a robbery that ended badly. They closed the case quickly. They never knew I was there."

"I'm glad you killed him. Otherwise I would have done it myself," Lucas growled through gritted teeth.

"But you know what, I still hate him. Even if he's dead, I still hate him for what he did to me. I'm not proud of it, not at all. What I want you to understand is that you have the choice. You can go back in the jungle, make plans to kill you father, but even if you succeed, your revenge won't stop you from hating him." She cupped his face so he would look at her. "Or you can stay here with me, live here with your father, live a real life."

"Why now? Why are you telling me now?" Lucas was not going to judge her. He would have done the same, or worse. Actually, he would have tortured this guy for what he had done to her.

"I'm a murderer too. I shot a man. I ended someone else life. But I don't think that what I did defines who I am. It's a mistake I made. Like you did."

Lucas already knew what Alexandra wanted to prove to him. He knew his hatred for his father was driving him mad, but he couldn't stop. Maybe he could try harder? He wasn't sure he could do it.

"I'm not asking you to forgive him, or to make peace, but just to try to live your own life now," she added. "Maybe you could be surprised by how life can be nice here. And you might, one day, have different feelings for your father."

"Alex, I don't care what you've done to him. You know it, because you know I understand what you felt. You also know that my story is different from yours. I killed many people. I nearly killed my father. I hurt people. It's going to take a lot more than just excuses for them to forgive me or at least accept me."

"I'll help you. I'll defend you."

"The decision is not mine to make," he sighed.

"But you'll try?" She asked, her eyes full of hope.

"I'll try." He stated.

They continued to talk for part of the night. Alexandra wanted him to stay. She was sure if he would accept to work on the portal he would be considered an ally. If he was on Terra Nova's side, he could probably stay. For now on, he would hide in her house and soon she would tell Taylor about it and convince him to give his son a second chance. Sure of her plan, Alexandra fell asleep in Lucas' arms. Things were going to be better now. She was sure of it. Lucas stayed awake a long time that night. He wasn't sure Alexandra's plan would work. He knew his father better than her. He was not the man of forgiveness he pretended to be. What he didn't tell Alexandra, is that he thought of a plan B. If his father didn't want to accept him, he would probably banish Alexandra again, for good this time, and Lucas would have her with him. She would be his. Just for him. Just the two of them, like before. Actually, he liked his plan B better than her plan. But he would try, for her, because he promised her.

Lucas woke up with Alexandra still in his arms. He kissed her hair, allowing his lips to brush over her neck and her shoulders then he stopped. Something was wrong. Panic made him shiver, he quickly turned to see her face, she was pale, very pale, her lips lightly blue. She wasn't breathing anymore. He spun her on her back and checked her pulse. She was still alive. He started a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and a cardiac massage. He did it for 5 minutes that seemed like an eternity to him. She was still not moving. Lucas's heart was beating so hard that it was hurting his ribs. He couldn't lose her, not now, not like that. He quickly asked himself the pros and cons and didn't wait too long before deciding to carry her and to run outside straight to the infirmary.

When Dr Shannon saw Lucas, she had first feared for her life. Then she had seen Alex in his arms, unconscious, looking like she was dead. It didn't take too long for her to forget who had brought her, she was a doctor no matter who was hurt.

"What happened?" she urged.

"I don't know, I found her like that a few minutes ago. I tried to resuscitate her but it didn't change anything."

"Skye!" She called for help before asking Lucas again. "How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know" he gasped. He suddenly remembered she talked during her sleep which it was dawn. "She was breathing an hour ago."

"Did she complain about headache? Pain in her eyes maybe?"

"No. But she was exhausted and she rubbed her forehead a lot," Lucas remembered. He cursed himself for having not realized what it meant. Skye arrived to help Dr Shannon. She stopped when she saw Lucas standing next to Dr Shannon. Then she saw Alexandra on the bed and the panic on Lucas's face.

"Dr Shannon? What do you want me to do?" she managed to ask.

"Go and grab the defibrillator." Skye glanced at Lucas, eyes wide. "Now!" Dr Shannon yelled as she saw Skye glaring at Lucas. Skye ran out of the room, looking for the defibrillator. She met Mark on her way back.

"Mark! You need to go and tell Taylor to come here as quickly as he can," she urged, running back to the room. Mark didn't have the time to ask why but he knew something was up and ran to Taylor's head quarters. Lucas put his head in his hands, trying to keep calm, trying to stop his heart from beating so hard in his chest. Skye arrived with the defibrillator. Dr Shannon had prepared the room for a surgery.

"Put it there, just in case we need it. Ok. Her pulse is low but she's still with us. I will…"

"What's happening?" rushed Taylor as he came into the room. Mark had luckily found him outside the infirmary.

"Commander, it's Alex. She's not breathing. I told her she could have a concussion but she didn't listen to me. She probably has internal bleeding. I have to perform a brain surgery right now. I need everyone to help me. It's been a while since I've done this," Dr Shannon replied quickly.

Taylor nodded and looked across the room, noticing Lucas for the first time where he stood in the corner. He didn't say a word, astonished. His son looked 10 years older but at the same time he reminded him when he was 14. He had tears on his face, panic in his eyes, shell shocked. It broke his heart to see him like that. He wanted to go to him and hug him, tell him everything was going to be ok. It surprised him to think that. His son was insane, a murderer, an evil child…But yet, he was his son, and he was suffering again because of a person he cared about.

"Lucas found her unconscious at her house," he heard Skye say behind him. Taylor didn't care why his son was in the colony or how he got inside. He was just glad he had found her. He was glad Lucas had risked his freedom to bring her here.

"Ok, everybody who's not doing the surgery OUT!" Dr Shannon ordered. Lucas didn't move as his father turned back to the exit. "You have to go out too Lucas," she said firmly, yet gently.

Lucas managed to stand up. He touched Alexandra's hand softly and walked outside. He didn't care that his father was there, staring at him. He didn't care what was going to happen to him, all of his thoughts were about Alexandra. Lucas knew that she had become one of the most important things in his life and he didn't want to lose her again.

"I won't leave you again," he mumbled to himself. "I swear it. I'll stay with you."

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know why she's with me, I only brought her trouble since the day she met me. If I was her by now I would have left me, I would have walked away but now I've broken away. Somehow instead she forgave me, she said a woman's got to do what she's got to, even if it means she denied herself the truth. 'Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late, you've fallen in love in the worst way and if you don't go now then you'll stay. 'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe, 'cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me<em>." The Script - Walk Away.


	22. It's about second chances

To SamuraiJack : Yes, Alex is a young woman full of resources! That's why we love her so much, isn't it? :)

* * *

><p><strong>It's about second chances<strong>

Skye had betrayed Lucas, shot him twice. She was sure he would get his revenge on her one day. When she had heard he was going to stay in Terra Nova, she had thought it was a really bad idea. Though, he hadn't done anything to her since Commandant Taylor had allowed him to stay. His behaviour was totally different from the time when he was in charge of Terra Nova. He had changed, or at least he was acting like he was trying, for her. Alexandra had brought out the best of him. He was doing his best to act like a good guy. It was probably hard for him, people used to glare at him at the beginning. Surprisingly, it was only after two weeks, when people got used to him and went back to their normal life. But Skye was sure the real Lucas would come back one day. His real nature would not stay hidden. Memories of the night she had begged him to save Josh's life were still fresh in her mind. That night, she had told him she would do anything, she had even taken her shirt off to prove him how far she would go. Yet, he had refused her, even though it was obvious he wanted her. Even if she hated him, she had felt disappointed that he had pushed her away. _'God I should stop thinking about that'_ she used to tell herself every day. She had to stop thinking about Lucas. She was with Josh now and he was a good guy. Nothing happened that night and she should feel relieved. However, she couldn't resist being attracted to Lucas. He was a mystery and she couldn't stop trying to discover him. It was irrational. She hated him, yet she wanted to be close to him. And the worst part was she didn't know why or how to end it.

Damon didn't like the idea of Lucas being back in Terra Nova. But he had to accept it. It was an order from Taylor to treat Lucas like a normal colonist. However, he was not inclined to trust him. When he had learnt what had happened to Alexandra and that he had saved her, he didn't know why, but it had upset him. He was so close to this traitor when he had walked Alexandra home, yet she had lied to him. She had not told him that Lucas was in her home. Even if he was grateful he saved her, it had saddened him to know she had spent the night with him. He was not a possessive person, not the jealous type, but Lucas was infuriating him. He clearly didn't like him and Lucas obviously didn't like him either. Damon didn't go and see Alexandra during her recovery because Lucas was always with her and it annoyed him too much to stand next to a murderer like Lucas Taylor. Damon had succeeded in avoiding him until now, but he knew he would soon have to meet him. Alexandra was back to work and he was sure she would try to make them meet each other.

It had been a big challenge for Lucas to stay in Terra Nova, to be nice to everyone and to talk to them. It had been hard but he did it, for Alexandra. Lucas cared enough about her to care about the others, or at least to pretend to care about them. She had convinced his father that he deserved a second chance. She fought for him and she won. People hated him, but they never really showed it. They glared at him but they never came to insult him or fight with him. Lucas was sure it was because of his father's orders, but also thanks to Alexandra. She had stayed with him the whole time, had helped him to forget the rest of the world, focused on her, on them. He had a new job and he actually liked it. He had to work with Malcolm at the lab, though Malcolm was not the best co-worker for Lucas. He used to talk too much. However, Lucas enjoyed working at the lab and wanted to succeed in repairing the portal. It would bring a lot of good to the colony: supplies, meds, clothes… Lucas had to prove his loyalty to Terra Nova. Building another portal would be his access key to forgiveness.

Lucas had made a pact with Taylor but Alexandra didn't know what it was. She had given Taylor her reasons why he should accept his son back into the colony. She had said she would keep an eye on him. But she was sure Lucas had promised more than to just be a good guy.

When she had awoken from the surgery, Lucas was sleeping next to her, sitting on a chair, his head on her chest, his hands on hers. She had felt very relieved to see that he had stayed with her. After a week in the infirmary, she had been allowed to return home on the condition that she had a week off. Lucas had promised Dr Shannon that he would keep an eye on her, and that's what he had done. During the week in the infirmary, he had not left, except when Taylor had asked him to come. He had cared for her the next week, anticipating all of her demands, all of her needs. She was treated like a princess and she was all the more in love with him. Still she knew he stayed with her so he would not have to go outside and talk to people other than her.

On her third week, she was back to work and Lucas started his new job at the lab. Their life was starting to get to be as normal as it could be. Alexandra wanted to enjoy her life in Terra Nova. She wanted to forget every bad things that had happened in the past. This was a new life for her, for them, and she wanted to make the most of it. She wanted to prove to Lucas that life in Terra Nova could be as fun as the life they had in the jungle, or even better. Also, Alexandra wanted to officially introduce Lucas to Damon. After all, they were both her partners, one in her life, the other on in her job. Lucas clearly didn't like the idea. He didn't like Damon before he had even met him. Alexandra had talked a lot about him, how he was great, funny, smart and perfect and all and all. Lucas couldn't help being jealous. Alexandra had told him there was nothing to worry about, yet Lucas still didn't like the idea of Alexandra spending her days with Damon. But as Alexandra had insisted, he had agreed to give it a try. They found Damon at the headquarters, finalizing their next mission.

"Hey Damon," Alexandra greeted. Damon smiled at her but his smile faded quickly when he saw who she was with. _'Not a good start'_ she thought to herself.

"Damon, may I introduce you to Lucas, my… huh… boyfriend." It was still strange for her to put a word on what he was for her, because actually, he was more than just a boyfriend. It didn't fit, it was not true enough, far away from what he really meant to her. "Lucas this is Damon, my partner." she said warily, well aware of the tension between them. Actually, Damon was also more than just a partner. He was a really good friend and she wished Lucas could like him as much as she did.

"I've heard a lot of great things about you." Damon said coldly, yet politely, shaking his hand.

"Really? That's weird because I'm a dick." Lucas mocked.

"I've heard about that too," he smirked. Alexandra frowned at them. _'Boys, it's not going to be easy with these two_' She pondered. "So… you're a genius?

"You're smart, aren't you?" Lucas mocked seriously.

"I would say so, yes. And you work with Malcolm, right?"

"Correct again. You are definitely very smart," he smirked.

Damon tried not to be bothered by Lucas's attitude. He didn't know what else to say to Lucas. He already knew everything he wanted to know about him anyway from Taylor or Alexandra. He turned the conversation back to Alexandra. "Alex, we need to leave in fifteen minutes. Will you be ready?"

"Does it get tiring, being so righteous?" Lucas scoffed, stopping Alexandra from answering Damon's question.

"It flares up in the presence of psychopaths." Damon quickly replied, glaring at him with annoyance. Damon was a calm person but Lucas was the kind of boastful person who could get on his nerves very quickly. They stared at each other and suddenly stepped closer.

"Hey, hey Damon, stop it please!" Alexandra came between the two, hands on each man's chest, pushing them apart. Alexandra's eyes were begging him to be smarter than that.

"Don't be that snarky ! Stop being jealous!" Lucas smirked, confident, yet clearly irritated too. Alexandra glanced at Lucas, wincing.

"Jealous? Of what? You?" Damon laughed, raising his eyebrows.

"You are a less dashing, less intelligent, less pretty version of me. Oh, and I might add that I have the girl. It's enough to be jealous of isn't it?" Lucas said witheringly.

"Ok boys enough. Lucas you come with me. Damon I'll see you in fifteen minutes," Alexandra said, grabbing Lucas's arm and pulling him outside with her before they started to fight.

"What the hell was that?" She asked, furious.

"He started it," he huffed sheepishly.

"What? How old are you? He was nice to you." She said with forced patience. "And _I have the girl_?" She repeated his words, mimicking quotes with her fingers. "What was that?"

"I had to remind him you were not free! I have the girl, that's true! You're mine," he smiled teasingly, eyes mischievous.

"A bit possessive, are we?" She scowled, yet a smile slowly drew at the corner of her mouth.

"It's not going to work Alex. This guy doesn't like me, you know it. I don't like him either. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter to me!"

"Alex, the only thing this guy wants is you in his bed. It's obvious ok? Men can feel these kind of signs." Alexandra didn't want to hurt Lucas; otherwise she would have reminded him that 'this guy' was there when she needed him.

"You can't say that. You don't know him," she shook her head.

"Alex," Lucas sighed, cupping her face with his hands. "This guy is a swagger, he is a dick!"

"I thought you were the dick?" She reminded him, half smiling.

"Yeah, but I'm a better dick than him! Look, you can't force everybody to like each other."

"But I can try, can't I?" She asked sadly. He didn't answer, instead his lips reached hers, kissing her gently.

"I have to go, I was supposed to meet Malcolm ten minutes ago. Not a good start for a new job, is it?" He smiled at her.

"Have a nice day!" She forced a smile, still disappointed it didn't go well between Damon and Lucas.

"You too." He added, quickly capturing her lips again, kissing her greedily this time, before leaving her. He stopped few metres away and turned back to her. "Oh and Alex, be careful with that guy," he said, gesturing in the headquarters direction. "I don't like him," he smirked mischievously.

"Get lost!" She shouted after him. All the answer she got in return was him winking at her with his famous crooked smile, before walking away, waving casually at her.

Lucas arrived at the lab and was happy when he realized Malcom wasn't here to notice he was late. He sat at his desk, waiting for Malcolm to come and talk about their tasks for the day. He was writing down some calculations when he heard the door open behind him.

"Hey! My beautiful sister!" He smiled as Skye entered the room.

"Don't call me your sister. My name is Skye," she spat through greeted teeth.

"Oh come on Bucket, don't be so grumpy!" He joked.

"Don't call me Bucket! It's Skye."

"What can I do for you then, _Skye_?"

"I know you." She stated coldly.

"Well, that's unfortunate."

"Your tricky game doesn't fool me."

"Tricky game?"

"I know you're not the man you're pretending to be. You're a psycho."

"Wow, you're the second person to tell me that today. I might start to worry a bit," he chuckled sadly.

"You're pathetic." She hissed.

"Hey, I'm the good guy now, remember?" He frowned, slightly hurt.

"Ah good, you're here Skye." A voice stopped their conversation. "I asked you to come because I thought you might be happy to hear that Lucas is working on a cure for the syncillic fever. And he is working really fast."

"It's not finished yet," Lucas felt the necessity to add.

"How long?" Skye managed to ask.

"It should be done in a week or so," He said seriously.

"In a week?" Skye couldn't believe it.

"Or so," he smiled genuinely.

"Soon, your mother should be as healthy as before," Malcolm beamed. Skye looked at Lucas, confused.

"Thank you," she muttered sheepishly.

"What did you say?" He looked at her curiously.

"I said thank you," she repeated louder through gritted teeth, scowling.

"You're welcome," he smirked. It added to Skye's confusion. Who was this guy in front of her who could actually work on a cure to save her mother and was nice to her?

Malcolm looked at them, bemused. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything is perfect," Lucas winked at Skye before going back to his calculations. Skye managed to leave the room. She was stunned by what had just happened. As she realized what it could mean for her mother, she ran to the infirmary to talk to her. Her day was suddenly much better than what she first thought it would be when Dr Shannon had asked her to go and see Malcolm and Lucas. The strangest part was knowing that Lucas was the reason of her excitement. '_Weird_' was the only word that came to her mind to define this situation.

Alexandra came back really late that day. Damon had not mentioned the little argument that happened in the morning and she thanked him for that. He had acted as he used to do before and she didn't ask him for more. She was exhausted. For her first week back at work, it had been really hard for her to keep up. Two weeks of rest and she felt like a grandma. Lucas was already home when she arrived. Her eyes went wide open when she saw him, standing in front of her.

"You shaved?" She stated, in shock.

"You said I should do something!" He said, confused.

"I said you needed to use the shower, not the razor." She chuckled. After almost 3 weeks spent with her, Lucas had long hair and a long beard. She had said one morning that he should do something about it but she was not expecting him to act this extreme.

"Don't you like it?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Well, I like it. I liked your beard though. But I do like it. It's just… I need some time to get used to it." She winced, her lips pursed, fighting a laugh.

"What?"

"You look a lot younger!" She couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"Is it bad?"

"No. It's not… I'm not use to dating teens, that's all!" She mocked, putting her hand in front of her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

"Ok, I'm gonna show you how much of a man I am." He warned her before throwing her on his shoulders and carrying her to their bedroom, showing her exactly how much of a man he was.


	23. Live normally in a normal life

Hi everyone, here's chapter 23! I hope you'll enjoy it. Don't forget to review, it's always a pleasure to read your comments. Also, don't hesitate to add me to your story alert so you won't miss the updates! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Live normally in a normal life<strong>

It had been almost two months since Lucas had arrived in Terra Nova. Taylor had tried as much as he could to accept Lucas back into his life. However, it was still awkward for both of them. They would talk casually about their work but it was not really a discussion. Taylor was too afraid to ask him how he was, how he felt. His son was not close enough to him to answer that kind of questions. He had decided he could get a step closer to him by inviting him for dinner. Not just the two of us of course. He would ask Alexandra to come and to help him with getting his son to accept to come. Taylor would also invite Skye. After all, she had been like a daughter to him and he wanted her to be as close as she was before too. This would be a family dinner. Ready to do it, he left his house, looking for Alexandra. He found her chatting with Damon.

"Why are you asking me to behave myself? I'm not your boyfriend, I don't have to." Alexandra was begging Damon to be nicer to Lucas, for her. She didn't like to use their friendship as leverage but she knew it would work.

"Because I know both of you. And Lucas needs time to adjust here. It would be easier if you were nice to him. Please?" She begged, mimicking a sad puppy dog.

"I'll see what I can do," he sighed. "But I still think he should be the one who listen to you. Not me." She gave him a quick chaste kiss on the cheek to thank him.

"You are marvellous!" She smiled.

"Sorry to interrupt," said a voice from behind them. They both turned to see Taylor, who had probably heard their conversation.

"Commander," Damon nodded.

"Alex, do you have a minute?"

"Sure," she answered, giving Damon an odd look. He shrugged in response, not knowing what it was about.

"Alex, I'd like you and Lucas to come for dinner tonight, at my house. A kind of… family dinner."

"Huh… Yeah! Why not. That would be great," she tried to sound joyous, forcing a smile. She knew Lucas would kill her for her answer. He didn't like to go out and above all if it came to his father. Having him living in Terra Nova was already a big challenge for him. A dinner with his father? Not a chance! "I'll talk to Lucas tonight. Just to be sure he doesn't have something already planned." 'Like killing me for having accepted this invitation too quickly,' she thought to herself.

"Alex, you're off this afternoon. Do whatever you have to do to convince my son to come. I know you can be very persuasive," he winked at her. She smiled at him. Alexandra thought it was a good idea to reunite everybody during dinner, and she liked the challenge of making Lucas come. It did not take long to know what she wanted to do with her free time. She ran to the lab and found Lucas rubbing his beard, working at his desk, focused, as always. He had let his beard grow back, to the delight of Alexandra. She slipped quietly behind him and put her hands on his eyes.

"Guess who has free time?" She whispered sweetly in his ear. He shivered under her touch.

"I hope it's this sexy girl I met the other day at Boylan's," he teased.

"Naughty!" she smacked his shoulder. She turned his chair so he was facing her. She climbed on his legs, her legs on either side. She put her hands in his hair, holding his head. "That is not funny mister Taylor," she shook her head. He moved his face close to hers, stopping nearby. He looked her straight in the eye. She was mesmerized by the deep green of his eyes.

"I thought you were not the jealous type," he smirked.

"I'm not," she quickly replied.

"Such a shame," he teased. "I like it when you're jealous!" His lips reached hers in a searing kiss, his hands pulling her waist closer to him. They kissed hungrily. Alexandra started to move her hips, eliciting a moan from him.

"I have to work," he exhaled unwillingly.

"You work all the time," she gasped between kisses. "I'm sure you can have a break." She whispered. She ran her hands up to his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. His skin tingled at her warm touch, making him want her more.

"Alex…" he gasped. "I really have to finish this." He gently pushed her away.

"Don't you want me?" She asked, mimicking the same sad puppy face she had done with Damon earlier.

"I do," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Then prove it," she whispered in a suggestive tone in his ear, well aware of the effect she had on him, kissing him again. He broke their kiss, looking deeply at her. Her eyes were full of desire. He couldn't resist it. His hands ran under her shirt, ready to unclip her bra.

"Get a room!" They suddenly heard. They both turned their heads to see Skye.

"Jealous are we?" Lucas teased, a crook smile spreading on his face.

"Get a grip!" She snapped.

"Ok… huh… Why don't you try to be nice to each other?" Alexandra smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry, I'll come back later," Skye apologized to Alexandra and glared at Lucas, ready to leave.

"Hey Bucket, what did you want?" Lucas called back. He had suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be working.

"It can wait for you to… huh… finish whatever you… were ready to do," she answered, disturbed. She shut the door and left them.

"I don't know what's wrong with that girl," Lucas said naively. "One day she seems fine, the next she acts weirdly."

"Come on, I'm sure you know how attractive you are and how much it dazzles girls!" Alexandra teased. He seemed confused.

"Dazzle?"

"Oh come on, you know how hard it is for girls to resist you? Why do you think most of them accepted you back in Terra Nova so quickly?"

"For my intelligence?" He guessed.

"For your butt!" She chuckled.

"So what you are saying is that I could have whoever I want, is that right?"

"Not really," she said, eyes narrowing, already regretting what she had just said.

"Why am I with you then?" He mocked. She slapped his arm.

"I'm not the kind of girl who envies the others. But I can be jealous if they try to take what's mine. You should be careful!"

"Maybe you could show me how much you want me to be yours then," he flirted, his eyes really suggestive. "So I won't go and see what's going on in the neighbourhood."

"Why do you think nobody has tried to seduce you yet? You're off limits!" She smiled, leaning back to him. "You are my exclusive territory!" She added, her lips reaching his, showing him how much she wanted him. Lucas tightened his arms around her, bringing her closer to him, his hands running down her back, unclipping her bra, already starting to get rid of her clothes. It didn't take long for them to be totally naked. Lucas pushed everything that was on his desk to the floor and lay Alexandra on it. They had quick and rough sex, yet really intense and pleasurable.

Lucas was shirtless, casually eyeing Alexandra buttoning her blouse.

"What?" She asked, smiling. He slowly approached her, gently pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear and took her in his arms.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, his eyes looking deeply at her. Her heart jumped in her chest. She could not stop her heart from racing every time Lucas said that sort of thing. Her hands on his chest enabled her to feel how his heart was beating fast too. She bit her lips, her cheeks blushing, looking at his chest, unable to look at his intense green eyes anymore.

"And I still think you're sexy when you blush," he chuckled, lifting her chin so she would look at him. She took a deep breath, her eyes shut. She opened her eyes to meet his again.

"I feel so alive with you," she confessed, putting her arms around his neck. "I'm so happy with you." He tightened his embrace.

"I feel exactly the same," he murmured, reaching her lips and kissing her. She kissed him back hungrily, pulling him as close as she could. She broke their kiss, smiling.

"Put your shirt on," she chuckled. "I can't behave myself when you're shirtless."

"What's wrong with that?" He smirked.

"Nothing…" She sighed. "Just do it please." She went to the corner of the room where her boots were, grabbing them.

"By the way, why did you have your afternoon off?" Lucas suddenly asked, slipping into his shirt. His question reminded her why she was supposed to be there at first.

"Huh… Your father gave it to me."

"Why would he do that?" He asked, suspicious as Alexandra did not really answer his question.

"Because I'm a good soldier."

"Why?" He insisted, unconvinced by her answer.

"What? You don't think I'm a good soldier enough to have free time?"

"Don't change the subject. Why?"

"So I could spend some time with you."

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

"Really." She stated. She walked to him and kissed him. "I go back home. When do you think you'll be home?"

"Not late."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Alexandra was ready to leave the room when she stopped at the door.

"Oh, I completely forgot to tell you something," she lied innocently. "We have been invited tonight. For dinner. At 7. I said yes." She said as casually as possible. Lucas stared at her. He had known she was up to something.

"Who?"

"Your father."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope." She smiled. "I'll wait for you at home," she said, waving goodbye at him.

"No way!" He shouted, as she was already gone.

"See you later at home. Don't be late!" She said loudly from the corridor. She knew Lucas would come. He had promised he would come home early and he had no agenda as an excuse for not coming. Later, Lucas tried to argue with her when he came home but she didn't give him the choice. They arrived at Taylor's house, Lucas pouting next to Alexandra.

"I promised you if it goes bad we could come home earlier. Stop acting like a sulky child!" Alexandra said to Lucas, knocking at the door. Surprise crossed her face when she saw who opened the door.

"Hi Skye," she managed to say. "I didn't know you… That Taylor had…"

"I didn't know either," Skye answered, scowling at Lucas.

"I guess my father trapped all of us here," Lucas smirked, happy to see he was not the only one who had been abused. Alexandra and Skye gave him a dark look. "Not my fault," he scoffed, entering in the house, a cocky smile appearing on his face.

"There you are!" Taylor welcomed them. "I'm glad you came," he added to Lucas, winking discreetly at Alexandra. They all spent the evening trying to be nice and polite to each other. Taylor was well aware of the tension between his guests but tried to make the most of the dinner. Lucas spent the dinner caressing Alexandra under the table, smirking at her attempts to act like nothing was happening. He actually enjoyed this family dinner more than he would have thought. Even if it was not for good reasons. She had forced him to come, now she had to pay for it. Alexandra spent the dinner slapping Lucas' hand, trying to ignore the explicit gaze he was giving her. She talked a lot to avoid thinking about what was happening under the table. Most of the time, she had ended stammering, glaring at Lucas who was pretending not knowing why she seemed upset. Skye thought Alexandra must have been stressed by the dinner. She knew she was talkative, but not that much. She had failed in her mission not to stare at Lucas the whole dinner. She cursed herself for being so weak. She thought his smile was the sexiest she had ever seen. She was upset with herself for having these kind of thoughts. She had to stop it. She had tried to focuse on Taylor instead but it had been useless. At the end of the dinner, Alexandra stood up quickly to go outside and chat with Taylor. Lucas stayed inside and joined Skye in the kitchen. She was washing the dishes. Lucas came next to her and started to help her, drying it.

"I never thought you would be the kind of guy who settles down," she harshly said.

"See, you thought you knew me and yet I still surprise you," he mocked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You are just a felon on release," she snapped.

"A felon who saved your mother's life!" Lucas had succeeded finding a cure for the syncillic fever the week before. Skye had tried to be nice to him since. Yet, she had difficulties to behave herself when he was around. She still had this constant need to be close to him and now she had to be grateful, it was worse. She threw a spoon at his head.

"Wow," he glared at her in pain, rubbing his head.

"Sorry, did it hurt?" She smiled bitter sweetly. He grimaced at her in response.

"You are definitely strange," he said, bemused.

"No I'm not," she stated, annoyed he could think she was weird.

"Yes you are. You are mad at me when I'm nice to you. You are mad at me when I'm not nice to you. What's your problem?"

"I… I don' have any problem. Do I have to remind you what you've done to me in the past? You used me." 'Mate'.

"Do I have to remind you what you've done to me in the past? You shot me twice!" 'Check mate'.

"You were going to kill your father," she tried to argue.

"I know. But I have changed, haven't you noticed?"

Skye looked at him. He seemed to believe what he had said. Yet, she wasn't sure it was the truth.

"Bucket…" He sighed, stepping closer, stopping inches from her. "I am really sorry if I hurt you in the past. It won't happen again," he swore to her, gently brushing her cheeks with his thumb. Skye's face blushed.

"Huh…" She gulped. "Ok…" She said sheepishly.

"Good!" He smiled, stepping away quickly. "Good night!" He said as he walked outside to join his father and Alexandra. Skye let her breath escape. She had been holding her breath from the minute he had called her Bucket. He body was shaking. Having him so close to her was a strange sensation. She had wanted to step closer to him, to touch him. She knew he was sexy and all, but she had a boyfriend. It was stupid, yet she couldn't figure out why she couldn't stop thinking about him, why she wanted to be in his life.

"Are you happy? Did you like playing this little game?" Alexandra asked him on their way back home.

"What game?" He asked innocently, his arm around her shoulders.

"You think you're smart, don't you?" She smacked her hand against his chest.

"Yeah!" He smiled proudly, tightening his arm around her.

"You are definitely not mature!" She chuckled.

"I am! Actually, I made peace with Skye. See, I'm mature now."

"You made peace? What do you mean?"

"I said I was sorry for what I've done to her in the past."

"What did you do to her?" She asked, serious now. Lucas had never talked about Skye before. She didn't even know he had something to be forgiven for. She had never really understood why Skye didn't like him. Well, she knew she had shot him to save Taylor. Yet, Lucas should have been the most angry of the two.

"Nothing. I've been a bit of a jerk. That's all," he answered simply. They were in the front of their house now. "So, you didn't like my game?" He teased, changing of subject, leaning to her, his lips brushing hers, his hands slowly running to her tights.

"Not at all," she challenged him. He pressed his body against hers, kissing her neck. She shivered at the feel of his warm breath on her skin. His hands passed along her waist, slowing down when they reached her belly, caressing up and down with his fingers, making her body shaking. She couldn't deny anymore how much she wanted to play his game. Her hands gripped his shirt, pulling him closer. His lips came back to hers, kissing her greedily. He moved his hands up to her breasts, kneading them, causing Alexandra to moan in pleasure.

"Bedroom?" He panted, eyes half shut, his gaze questioning her. She nodded, freeing one hand to open the door. After they had made love, Lucas fell asleep quickly, unlike Alexandra. She kept in mind Lucas had avoided her questions about Skye. She knew she had to be patient with him. Even this tiny information about Skye had probably cost him a lot to tell. However, she also knew he used to tell her everything. Well, it was what she thought at the time. 'At least, he'd rather say nothing than lie to me' Alexandra comforted herself. Yet, she still had this knot in her stomach that was telling her something was wrong. She tried to wipe this bad feeling away and turned to see Lucas' peacefull face. She put her head on his chest, closing her eyes, trying to sleep. Lucas took her in his arms in his sleep. It reassured her quickly, helping her to fall asleep eventually.


	24. Happy Birthday

Here's chapter 24! Thank you all for your reviews! I'm always really really really happy to read your feedback! I try whenever it's possible to answer all in private message.

Anyway attention, this chapter contains an explicit scene! I think of you SamuraiJack, this chapter is not to read at work! :)

And for the people who don't like Skye (I know there are some of you!), don't worry, there's no Skye in this chapter ! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Birthday<strong>

Today was a special day. Alexandra had a secret mission and she was very thrilled about it. Lucas was already gone and she was having her breakfast when a knock at the door stopped her.

"Dr Shannon?"

"Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Alex!" Zoe screamed happily.

"Hey hello Zoe!"

"Alex, I know it's your day off and you probably have plenty of plans for the day..."

"But?" Alexandra smiled, knowing exactly what Dr Shannon was about to say.

"But I have to go to work, Jim is already gone with Taylor, Maddy is teaching class with some teens and Josh is somewhere in the colony with Skye. Zoe's teacher broke her arm this morning so she's off for the day. Zoe doesn't have school today and..."

"It's okay," Alexandra said, gesturing with her hands for Dr Shannon to stop her talking.

"It's okay?"

"She can stay with me. Actually I have no plans for the day," she lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go back to work. We are fine here."

"Thank you Alex, I'll be back around 5."

"Bye mummy," Zoe waved before entering in Alexandra's house. Alexandra smiled at the sight of Zoe so eager to come in.

"Ok Zoe, what would you like to do?"

"Hmmm..."

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Not really," she shrugged.

"I know what we are going to do! I've wanted to do it for a long time! You are my excuse to try!"

"What is it?" Zoe asked, overexcited.

"We are going to cook! I know a recipe for a cake."

"A cake?"

"Don't you know what it is?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Perfect, I'll show you then! Come on, we need to go to the market. We need ingredients."

Alexandra grabbed a bag and they both walked outside. Damon was patrolling in the market when he saw Alexandra looking for something on the stands.

"Hi Alex!"

"Hi Damon!"

"Hey Zoe!" Damon added when he saw the little girl standing next to her.

"How do you my name?" Zoe asked, folding her arms, suspicious.

"I work with your dad. Don't you remember?"

"Maybe," she answered, not sure. It made Alexandra laugh.

"See, I told you, you are not that memorable!" She mocked.

"I know I am. She's just too young!"

"Yeah right!"

"Is he your lover?" Zoe asked suddenly, yet innocently.

"No!" Damon and Alexandra both replied at the same time.

'Why are you asking that anyway?" Alexandra asked, eyes narrowed.

"You are always with him. I remember now. I see you every day with him when I go to school!"

"Well that's because we are partners at work." Damon explained.

"We are also friends," Alexandra added. "But he is not my boyfriend. Lucas is. You'll probably meet him at lunch."

"So girls, what are you doing?" Damon changed the subject.

"Alex and I are going to cook!" Zoe beamed.

"Oh really?" Damon looked at Alexandra, smirking. Damon already knew she was not a good cook. Their last meal together had been epic.

"It's only a cake. It's not rocket science! Even I can handle it." Alexandra said, reassuring herself.

"Well good luck with that," he laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" Zoe asked, half smiling, wondering if she had missed a private joke. Josh and Skye, Maddy and Mark, they always laughed in front of her and used to say she was too young to understand. She hated that.

"Don't worry sweetheart, Damon is just jealous."

"Yeah exactly. I'm huuuuugely jealous. You're so lucky Zoe!" Damon mocked.

"Maybe you can come with us?"

"Ah I'm afraid I'm working right now. I would have loved to though. Maybe another time. Have fun!"

"Come on Zoe, let Damon get back to work. He doesn't know what he is going to miss."

"I'm sure I know pretty well," he mocked. She scowled at him and left. She was sure she heard him chuckle behind. Alexandra and Zoe finished their shopping and went back home. The girls began to cook when they returned home. Alexandra did not find all the ingredients that she needed. So, she bought what looked most like it, hoping it would do. Zoe and she had a lot of fun though. Alexandra put the cake in the oven and she played with Zoe until it was cooked. After an hour, she went to see where it was. A muffled sound filled the room when she opened the oven door. The cake just exploded. She was covered with a sticky and slimy paste. Her hair, her face and clothes were covered with the mixture.

"Oh my god!" Zoe burst into laughter.

"Wow," was the only word Alexandra managed to say before bursting into laughter too. "I think we're not going to eat a cake today," she chuckled. "Zoe, I'm going to have a quick shower, ok? Can you stay alone for a minute?"

"Of course, I'm not a baby," she sighed, rolling her eyes, annoyed.

"Sorry, I know that." Alexandra left her in the living room, leading to the bathroom. She had left for only five minutes when Lucas arrived for lunch.

"Alex?" Lucas called her, entering into the house. He didn't pay attention and bumped into Zoe. "Wow! What the f...," he avoided to finish his word. "Who the hell are you?" He asked her, eyes narrowing.

"Who are you, you?" She asked, mimicking him, eyes narrowed, arms folded.

"I am Lucas," he answered, suppressing a smile at the sight of this brave little girl. "And I am in my house. So who are you?"

"I'm Zoe." His smile faded.

"Oh yeah right, the mini Shannon. There are so many of you everywhere."

"There are only 5 of us!"

"That's what I mean, you're everywhere. Where's Alex?"

"She's in her bedroom, changing her clothes."

"Why are you here?"

"My mum brought me here so I could stay with Alex for the day."

"Great," he said ironically.

"We made a cake!" Zoe said proudly.

"Yeah, I can see that," he said, looking at the mess in the kitchen and the little girl covered with what looked like flour.

"Are you Alex's boyfriend?"

"That would be me."

"You're a lot different from her other friend."

"Her other friend?"

"Damon?" When Lucas heard this name, he was suddenly more inclined to talk to Zoe.

"How do you know him?"

"We met him this morning."

"Oh really? Where?" He inquired.

"We were at the market and he came to talk to us. Is he your friend too?"

"I would not say that."

"He is funny."

"No, I can assure you he's not," he stated.

"Alex thinks he is."

"What make you think that?"

"She laughed and smiled a lot when she was with him."

"Who laughed a lot?" Alexandra asked as she came into the living room, drying her hair with a towel.

"You, obviously," Lucas replied with a suspicious gaze.

"You seemed surprised?" She said, putting casually her arms around his neck and kissing him. "Isn't it what defines me the most?" She smiled.

"Eurk!" Zoe grimaced.

"What?" Alexandra asked, arching her eyebrows.

"You two kissed," Zoe said with disgust.

Lucas and Alexandra both laughed.

"It's what couples do sweetheart."

"I know. It's just I don't understand why."

"You'll understand soon enough," Lucas mocked. "What happened in here?" He asked Alexandra, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

"I think I succeeded creating a bomb! I mixed some ingredients which looked like the real ones from the recipe I know but… You can see the disaster!"

"I thought French people were the best cooks in the world?" Lucas chuckled.

"I know, I'm such a shame for my country," Alexandra smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes but I'm not sure I want to try whatever you tried to cook."

"Piss off," she smacked his arm. "I don't want you to starve though. I'll invite you to Boylan's instead."

"Cool!" Zoe jumped of excitement.

"You're not coming," Lucas mocked her, his eyes challenging her. Zoe seemed to deliberate and a mischievous smile spread on her face.

"I'm sure Damon would have invited me." Lucas' eyes narrowed and he leaned his head inches from hers.

"Clever girl. I guess I have no other choice than to take you with us then."

"Lucas! Of course she's coming! Come on Zoe, put your shoes on."

On their way to Boylan's, Zoe was walking between them and she suddenly took their hands in hers, balancing them casually. It was really foreign for Lucas and he didn't look comfortable. It made Alexandra smiled.

"What?"

"Nothing. It suits you," she replied truthfully. Lucas smirked to her. Actually, he thought it was quite nice. Yet, this situation reminded him it could have been real if he had not lost his baby. Alexandra must have noticed it because she reached his face with her free hand and pull him close to her so she could kiss him.

"Could you stop doing that?" Zoe reminded them of her presence. They both suppressed a laugh.

"Ok Zoe, I promise," Alexandra swore, her hand on her heart.

They arrived at Boylan's and ordered their lunch. They had a nice time together. Lucas never thought it could be so easy for him. Zoe was a great girl, she was smart and funny. Lucas thought it was probably thanks to her mother, not from her father for sure. He was looking at her with a grin on his face as she was explaining a typical day at school, mimicking her teacher and the others children of her class.

"Hey Zoe!" A voice from behind brought him back to reality. He turned his head to see that Damon was there. Zoe smiled to him. Lucas didn't bother to say hello to him. Alexandra stared at Lucas, waiting for him to be polite.

"Lucas," Damon nodded.

"Damon," Lucas replied without looking at him.

"So Zoe, how was the cake?"

"Was delicious," she lied. She was not sure if she wanted to tell him what had happened earlier. She didn't want him to laugh at them. Both Lucas and Alexandra looked at her as she lied to him.

"Was it?" Damon asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Actually, it was delicious," Alexandra smiled, helping Zoe in her lie.

"Delicious," Lucas emphasized. He chuckled lightly, liking this private joke between the three of them, even more so because Damon was out of it.

"Well, I'm glad to know that," Damon replied, yet he gave a suspicious glance at Alexandra who grinned at him widely, suppressing a chuckle. "I have to confess I was a bit worried about Alex's cooking skills but I'm happy to see I was wrong. Enjoy your lunch. See you!"

"Zoe, what was that?" Alexandra asked her once Damon was away.

"Once I heard my dad saying that sometimes it's better not to tell the truth if it can hurt someone you care about."

"Sweetheart, you didn't have to."

"I didn't want him to mock us," she confessed with a concern look.

"I like this little girl!" Lucas smiled.

"Yeah I bet you do!"

They finished their lunch and went outside. They were walking when they met Jim.

"Hey Jim!" Alexandra called him.

"Daddy!" Zoe screamed, running to him.

"Alex? Why is Zoe with you? Is everything alright?" He glanced at Lucas, worried.

"Yeah don't worry. Zoe's teacher broke her arm this morning so I am babysitting for the day!"

"We made a cake," she beamed at her father.

"Oh, really? Fantastic!" He smiled at her. "Ok well, I will release you from your babysitting duty. I have time for Zoe."

"As you wish."

"My school bag is at Alex's house!"

"I don't really have the time to take you there. I'm sure it can wait for tomorrow."

"No, I have some homework to do!"

"I'll do it," Lucas said, surprising everyone. "I'll bring it to you."

"Really?" Zoe asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"Oh thank you!" She jumped in his arms. Lucas stiffened at the beginning but quickly hugged her. It was the first time in his entire life he had a little girl in his arms. Though, he liked it.

"That's nice of you. Thanks. I'll take care of her from now." Jim managed to say, still surprised by Lucas' reaction.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's ok. I'll tell Elisabeth."

"Ok. Bye then!"

"Goodbye Alex! Goodbye Lucas!" She waved at them, grinning.

They both looked at her as she left with her father. Alexandra felt strangely sad to see her leave. It was quite fun to play the little family for a time. They went back home, hand in hand, both lost in their thoughts. Alexandra was wondering how it could be to have children with Lucas. She was sure he would be a good dad, they would be a happy family. Yet, something was bothering her. He still didn't have said the words. Once arrived, Lucas grabbed Zoe's bag.

"I have to go back to work," Lucas finally said.

"Ok, don't be late tonight. There is something I want to show you."

"What is it?"

"I'll show you tonight. Just don't be late please, ok?"

"Ok."

"I have a kitchen to clean," she smiled, giving him a quick kiss.

Lucas came back around 7 that night. When he entered the house, he saw that Alexandra had cleaned the kitchen. He walked to the living room, looking for her.

"Alex?"

"In here," he heard her called from the bedroom. He walked to their bedroom and stopped at the door. The room was in the dark, only lighten by few candles. Alexandra was wearing her uniform. She came to him and kissed him passionately.

"Happy birthday Lucas," Alexandra whispered to his ear. She didn't give him the opportunity to speak. "Come on," she said in a seductive tone. She pulled him with her and pushed him on the bed. "Stay put," she commanded him. She stayed standing in front of him and pressed a button on her plex. A music started to fill the room.

_It's a cold and crazy world that's ragin' outside. Well baby me and all my girls are bringin' on the fire. Show a little leg, gotta shimmy your chest. It's a life, it's a style, it's a need, it's Burlesque. E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex. Ladies no regrets…_

Alexandra took a deep breath and started a striptease in front of an aroused Lucas. She started detaching her hair, gently shaking her head to let them fall back in disorder on her shoulders. While keeping her eyes fixed on him, she began to unbutton her blouse, button by button. She moved her body to the rhythm of music. Lucas was at the top of excitement. She threw her blouse on him, biting her lips, her hands sliding softly behind her back to loosen her bra. She threw it to him too. She placed her hands on her belt, untying it slowly.

"Did I ever tell you how much that uniform suits you?" Lucas said in a husky voice, his eyes running from head to toe with excitement. He stood up to come closer to her but she pushed him against the wall.

"I haven't finished yet," she murmured. Alexandra stood in front of him, unbuttoned his shirt and slid her hands over his muscled chest, feeling him stiffen under her touch. She tilted her head back to look at him. She smirked softly as she hooked her thumbs into the hem of his trousers. She watched his breath hitch as she started to unbuttoned them and inch them down his thighs until she was kneeling in front of him. Alexandra moaned as she reached out to touch his hard length. She kissed it and smiled in appreciation as her touch made it grow longer. Lucas moaned heavily and bent over, hooking his hands under her shoulders, lifting her up.

"I would not suggest doing that yet, or I will be finished before we have even begun." Lucas turned them so she was stuck between him and the wall. He was in charge now. He moved his hands to her legs, sliding them up her thighs, delighted to see the way her breath hitched in anticipation. He let a moan escape as he realized she was not wearing any underwear. He looked at her face, her expression was very suggestive, she was well aware of the effect that she had on him. It made him hornier than ever. He quickly took off her pants and underwear, then lifted her to take her to the bed where he placed her gently. He looked at her intently, his breathing rapid because of the excitement. He stood above her, leaning on his arms, looking at her, while her eyes urged him to come closer. He admired her naked body one last time, then gently leaned toward her and kissed her neck, her throat, her breast... His lips were like fire on her skin. His skilled hands moved between them, going down her hips, caressing between her legs gently, earning him a soft sigh of pleasure. She pulled his face up and they kissed languorously, their breathing was erratic, the excitement had reached its climax, they desired each other too much. "Alex…" His voice was low, slightly trembling.

"Lucas… I want you now," she whispered in response. His strong warm hands were everywhere, grasping, kneading, stroking her tender flesh. Normally she enjoyed him taking his time, but she needed him now. Lucas didn't wait and entered into her, letting out a moan of pleasure. Alexandra dug her nails into his back, pulling him as close as possible to her. She folded her legs around him, bringing him closer to her. Then, she remembered it was supposed to be her gift to him and she suddenly flipped them over. Now was not a time for slow and tender. She needed him, she wanted him. She moved faster, harder, bringing him all the way into her. Lucas' breath became frantic. Alexandra moaned loudly as she reached her climax. His hands tightly gripped her hips when he finally found his own release. She collapsed onto his chest, breathless, yet smiling. They stayed lying on the bed, still naked, trying to catch their breath.

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Lucas asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had filled the room.

"You're not the only one who knows how to make calculations." She said, tapping her index finger on her temple.

"That's my clever girl!" He smiled. She sat on the bed, serious.

"I have a gift for you."

"I thought I already had it," he chuckled, caressing her thighs.

"It was only a bonus," she smiled.

"Really? I'm looking forward for next then!" She grabbed his shirt and slipped into it, before standing up.

"Close your eyes." She waited for him to obey before gently putting a thick envelope in his hands. "You can open your eyes." Lucas looked at her, surprised. Her eyes were bright, yet she looked worried.

"What is it?" He asked, eyes narrowing.

"Open it, you'll see." Lucas opened slowly the envelope and froze when he realized what it was. "Lucas Taylor speechless, that was worth it!" She tried to lighten the mood.

"How?" He asked her, incredulously.

"I had help from your father," she confessed. She didn't know what his reaction meant. "Don't you like it?" She asked, concerned.

"It's the best present I ever had," he whispered, before leaning close to her, his lips reaching hers, giving her a searing kiss. "Thank you, it's perfect. You're perfect." Alexandra smiled at him, happy he liked his present. She saw his eyes were wet, yet he didn't cry. Lucas could express extreme feelings so easily and at the same time, the simplest ones were the hardest one for him. Lucas had been surprised Alexandra remembered his birthday, but he was stunned by the present she had offered him. It was a frame with a photo of him and his mother in it. He was around 10 and his mother was embracing him, laughing as he was trying to pull away, smiling. It was exactly how he remembered his mother. A lively, funny and beautiful woman. Lucas had no photo of his mother and Alexandra had thought he'd like one. He was so glad to have her in his life. She was such a good person to him. He didn't know how his life would be without her in it. He couldn't even think about living without her. He didn't know how to be grateful enough. He wanted to say something but he couldn't find the right words. Instead he took her in his arms and wrapped her tightly, pulling her with me on the bed, kissing the top of her head. They spent the night in each other's arms. Yet, Alexandra didn't fell as comfortable as she used to. She still felt this knot in her stomach. Something was missing between them. She wanted to know why he didn't say to her that he loved her like she did in the past. But at the same time, she was afraid of what the answer might be. She didn't sleep at all that night, her minds too preoccupied, questions filling her head.


	25. Don't ask me to choose

Hi everyone! Chapter 25! My chapters are bigger and bigger each time! I know some of you might like it more like that! I hope you'll like this chapter. More are coming soon, yet don't forget to review this one!

* * *

><p><strong>Don't ask me to choose<strong>

It was around 8 and Alexandra started her work at 9. Lucas, as usual, had already gone to the lab. Alexandra had woken up with a lot of questions in her minds, and of course, she had no answers to them. She decided to go and think where she used to in the past: the grove. She was laying on the ground, her feet in the air against a tree trunk when Damon came to her.

"Dreaming?"

"Thinking."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure." He lied down next to her in the same position. Damon didn't say a word, waiting for her to talk. He knew she would eventually, when she was ready. They stayed a moment in silence before Alexandra spoke again. "Have you ever been in love?" Her question startled him.

"Once," he confessed.

"What happened?"

"She left me."

"I'm sorry," she said, truly sad for him. "Why?"

"Because of my job. I was always gone. She was sad and felt lonely at home. We divorced only one year after our wedding."

"You've been married?" Alexandra was stunned. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide open. "You never mentioned that!"

"We were young, we thought it was a good idea at the time. Emily wanted us to be a real couple, if you know what I mean."

"Do you think she'd still be with you if you had stopped being a soldier?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm a soldier. It's who I am. It's not only a job, it's a part of me." Damon turned his head to face her. She seemed to deliberate in her head, thinking about what he had just said. "Why are you asking that anyway?" She started to look at the sky again. Damon imitated her.

"I was wondering… Do you think someone can love you, truly love you, and not be able to say it? Say the 3 words I mean."

"I guess it depends of who we are talking about." He gave her a quick glance and noticed she was still staring at the sky, like she was lost in her thoughts, more talking to herself than to him. "But if it was me, I could say those 3 words to the woman I love. Because when it's the right one, it becomes really easy to say it. It feels normal."

"Was it easy for you and Emily?"

"It's a bit different, we were young, we didn't really know what it meant. But yes, we used to say it to each other all the time."

"But yet you're not together anymore?" It was not really a question, more a statement. She turned her head to see him. He looked sad. She felt suddenly guilty about reminding him of those bad memories. It was selfish to talk to him like that, hurting him on purpose. "Thank you."

"For what?" He turned his head back to her.

"For not asking," she smiled lightly.

"You're welcome," he smiled lightly too. They looked at each other deeply, both lost in the other's eyes. Alexandra liked Damon, and his beautiful blue eyes were full of kindness, tenderness and goodness, every part of him reflected how much of a good person he was. He seemed so sad, she wanted to hug him, but at the same time she didn't. It was not serious, he was a friend, Lucas was the only one she should want to hug that way. She felt confused by her thoughts, it didn't sound like her to think like that of Damon. She knew she liked him a lot, but there was nothing more. At least, nothing more in the past.

"What's the plan for today?" She changed the subject.

"We are going out today! We need to secure a perimeter, not far away from the colony."

"I should go back home and get changed then. I'll see you at 9?"

"Yeah. See you."

Alexandra came back home and let a shriek escape when she bumped into Lucas in the house.

"Oh my god you scared me!"

"Sorry," he chuckled, he was clearly not sorry.

"Why are you here? Is there something wrong?"

"Nope," he replied casually. "Where were you?"

"Outside, I needed some fresh air. Why are you here anyway?" She asked, suspicious.

"I wanted to see you before you left. I wanted to give you this," he said as he showed her what he was hiding behind his back.

"Flowers?"

"For the most beautiful flower of the world," he joked.

"You're very funny Taylor!" She laughed, putting her arms around his neck before kissing him. "Wait, don't guys give flowers to their girlfriends to be forgiven for having cheated?"

"Naahh, rumors, only rumors," he chuckled. He looked at her beautiful dark blue eyes and smiled. "It's only because you deserve it. I wanted to thank you for yesterday."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like the photo."

"I was talking about the stripping!"

She smacked the back of his head. "Stupid!"

"Wow, that hurt!"

"Yeah, it's only because you deserve it," she mimicked him.

"Fair enough," he kissed her gently. "Thank you for the photo. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. You know it's funny because even if you look like your father in most ways, you have something of your mother and it suits you."

"My mother was perfect. Must be that you're talking about, right?"

"Of course, and the fact that she was beautiful too," she mocked.

"Exactly," he smirked. "You remind me of her in many ways too."

"Really?" She asked, surprised, arching her eyebrows.

"She was really generous, altruist, and she knew how to be with me so I would be gentle. She was a really good person." It saddened Alexandra to hear that, even if she knew it was his way of saying how good she was to him, he missed his mother a lot and that was not something she could replace.

"Your mother seemed to be a really good person. I would have liked to have known her."

"I'm sure she would have liked you," he stated, pushing one of the locks of her hair behind her ear, staring intensely at her. She smiled and kissed him, pouring everything she had into it, proving him how much he meant to her. He tightened his embrace to bring her as close as possible to him. She was the first to break their kiss.

"Even if I really like to be in your arms, I have to get changed. I have a job waiting for me."

"What are you doing today?"

"Just a perimeter to secure, you know, just to be sure there are no Sixers or any of the Phoenix group left near our colony."

"OTG huh? Don't really like the idea."

"I'll be fine," she kissed him quickly. "I always know how to find my way back, remember?" She teased him, before going to their bedroom to get changed. Lucas went back to the lab, a bit worried about her going OTG. It was a normal reaction, though. He knew how dangerous the jungle could be. He would have to talk about that with her later, he didn't like to worry about her all the time. Yet, it had always been like that with her, since the first day they met he had been worried about her. The difference was that now, they were not in the jungle anymore and yet she was pushing herself in front of the danger. They really should talk about this one day. Alexandra left the house, her heart suddenly lighter. She made a promise to herself, she had to give Lucas more credits, she had to stop being so girly about how love should be, how he should be. It was not a movie, this was real life. She had to stop focusing on what was wrong and start to appreciate what was good. He was kind and generous with her, he was smart and really sexy, and he made her laugh, it meant a lot to her. She reached the headquarters and joined Damon next to the desk, smiling.

"You're more cheerful than earlier, aren't you?" He gave her a bright smile.

"Yep!" She beamed.

"Good. We are leaving in 5 minutes."

"I'll drive." She stated.

"No you're not."

"Come on, don't macho me! You know I'm a better driver."

"Alex, I drive, you watch. End of discussion."

"Ah sorry, so this is the lieutenant speaking. I apologize sir," she mocked.

"Ah stop it!" He smacked her lightly, grinning.

"Hey children!" Taylor stopped them, giving them a warning glance. "Don't you have somewhere to go?"

"Yes commander," Damon said firmly. Alexandra was behind Damon, grinning at Taylor.

"Lieutenant, give us a minute please."

"Yes sir," he answered, walking outside, yet waiting at the door.

"How did it go?" Taylor asked to Alexandra.

"Perfectly," she smiled at him.

"Good. Very good," he smiled too. He had been very worried when Alexandra had asked him a photo of Ayani and Lucas for his birthday. He wasn't sure how Lucas would react. Yet, he had been really proud of her because she had had the courage to ask him something so personal and it meant a lot to him. He really liked Alexandra and she was the best thing that had happened in Lucas' life for long time.

"Thank you again," Alexandra really meant it. She knew it was probably hard for Taylor to give her a photo of his wife when he only had a few of them.

"No, thank you."

"I thank you, you thank me, we thank each other. I guess we're both satisfied?" She joked.

"Go!" He commanded her, a smile spreading on his face.

"Yes sir!" She replied, joining Damon at the door.

"So, what did you do again?" He mocked.

"Me? Nothing! You're the only one I have problem with!"

"You're the one I have problem with!"

"No you are!"

Taylor chuckled as they left, still bickering. The two of them were a good pair. He was glad he had them on his side. Damon and Alexandra were in a car followed by two others. Damon was driving, Alexandra talking, as usual.

"You know what's missing in this car?"

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me!"

"Exactly, let me tell you something you don't know! We miss the radio."

"We've got a radio."

"No, I mean a real one. The kind of radio you can listen to music with."

"Like what?"

"I don't know... Hmmm… Like a funny and lively one, like Good Feeling!"

"Good feeling? What kind of song is that?"

"It's about hopes and dreams, you know when you wake up one morning and you're sure it's gonna be a good day?"

"I got a good feeling?" He chuckled. "Right, I understand." He smiled at her. He definitely thought she was funny. Of course, she would talk all the time about everything, yet he didn't care. Her life was totally different from his and it was nice to have some fresh air in his life.

"Damon, watch out!" She suddenly screamed. A nykoraptor ran into them, throwing the car in the air. The violence of the shock catapulted Damon against Alexandra. Damon's weight multiplied by the power of the accident cut off her breathing. The car stopped abruptly in falling to the ground.

"Damon…Damon, are you alright?" She stammered.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "You?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Can you see it?"

"No, I think it's gone." She answered, looking around them.

"Alex, you're bleeding!" Alexandra looked at her shirt, there was blood on it.

"It's not mine, it's yours," she stated. "Your head punched in my stomach during the shock."

"Does it hurt?"

"I'm stronger than that," she smiled.

"Alex!" He said, worried.

"I'm ok. Don't worry. You are the one who's bleeding." The two other cars that were following them arrived to rescue them. "And you should be more worried about what Taylor is going to do to you when he'll find out you destroy one of his car," she chuckled.

Back to Terra Nova, Damon was in the infirmary, laying on a bed, Alexandra sitting next to him.

"I told you I was a better driver than you!"

"Yeah right. Next time I'll let you drive." Alexandra had Damon's hand in hers, squeezing it playfully while Dr Shannon was sewing his forehead.

"I think you should stop hurting your head all the time. There's not going to stay much of your brain in the end."

"My head is as hard as a stone."

"Ok, it's done. Alex, your turn," Dr Shannon said.

"My turn? I have nothing."

"Nothing? Have you looked at your face?" A voice said angrily from behind her. She had not seen Lucas enter. She quickly dropped Damon's hand. "You've got a black eye!" Actually, Alexandra had not looked at her in a mirror but she knew something had hit her during the car crash.

"It's nothing, it's just Damon's elbow that hurt me in the shock," she tried to reassure him, touching gently her eye to see if it was painful.

"What about your stomach Alex, does it hurt?" Dr Shannon asked, concerned, giving her an ice bag for her eye.

"It's alright."

"Lay down a minute will you? I'll just check it." Alexandra sighed but obeyed as both Lucas and Damon were glaring at her. Dr Shannon examined her stomach. "You were right, it's normal. Just a bit bruised but that should be gone in two days or so."

"See," Alexandra smiled at Damon and Lucas. "Nothing to worry about."

"Yeah well you've been lucky this time. Fortunately, it was your last time out," Lucas spat.

"I beg your pardon?" Alexandra asked, her eyes narrowing.

"You heard me."

"I hoped I misunderstood you."

"Alex, do you know how many horrible things I thought about when I heard your group was coming back earlier because your car had been crashed by a dino?"

"I'm sorry," she said, taking his face in her hands. "I didn't want you to worry. I should have called you immediately."

"Yes you should have. Yet, it doesn't change anything. You're not gonna risk your life out there every day."

"It's not every day and I'm fine."

"You stay with me, here, safe and sound. End of it," he snapped.

"Stop pissing on me like a dog that's marking his territory!" She glared at him. Lucas didn't want to argue in front of Damon, he'd be too happy to see them fight. He grabbed Alexandra's arm and pulled her outside the room. Yet she kept talking on their way out. "I'm not asking you to quit science for me. It's the opposite, I encourage you. So don't ask me to stop doing my job."

"My job is not as dangerous as yours. And I'm not asking you to quit, just to stop being part of it."

"I'm not the one who decides the missions and I'm not going to refuse an assignment because you're too afraid I might get hurt."

"I'll talk to my father."

"Lucas!"

"He'll stop to send you outside."

"Lucas, stop it!"

"End of the conversation."

"Damn it Taylor drop that cocky attitude with me! I'm not your thing. You're not going to tell me what I can do and what I can't." Lucas took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He knew he had crossed the line.

"Look, Alex, I just want to protect you. I don't want to lose you," he said pitifully.

"I know," she sighed.

"If you were me, you would ask the same."

"Maybe. But if I was you I would not accept."

"Please Alex, do it for me." Alexandra could see how much it counted for Lucas. She didn't want to accept it but she didn't want to fight with him either.

"Ok," she winced, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Thank you," he said, kissing her.

"I have to talk to Damon," she said in a blank tone. "I'll see you later at home." She was not asking him, it was obvious she wanted him to go.

"Ok, I'll see you at home." He gave her a quick kiss but felt she didn't kiss him back. He knew that what he had asked her was totally selfish, he knew it would hurt her to do it, yet he had asked her to. At least, he had asked her, he could have convinced his father to do it for him, for Alexandra's sake, but he also knew that it would have been worse if she had found out he had plotted behind her back. Alexandra walked back into the room. Damon sat quickly when he saw her coming in.

"Are you gonna let him decide for you?" He asked her immediately. "It's your life!"

"It's not about me. It's about him."

"Of course it is. It's always about him!" He yelled.

"What do you mean?"

"Your need to protect him is making you take the wrong decisions. Can't you see that the love you've got for him is blinding you?"

"He just wants to protect me."

"So do I! But I'm not asking you to change and I'm not trying to put you in a little safety box to keep you safe."

"That's not what he's doing."

"Yes it is!"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Alex, we are the best team ever. We have only had 2 accidents since we started working together. Do you know how many accidents the others had encountered?"

"I know."

"I don't want another partner. I want you to stay with me."

"Me too but…"

"Are you gonna let him split us apart?"

"No. I mean, it doesn't mean we can't stay together. Just not when you go outside."

"Do you hear yourself? We can't be partners if you're away from me half the time!"

"Don't do that. Don't ask me to choose."

"I'm not the one who's asking you to choose. I'm fed up pretending I don't care what he does to you. Open your eyes! Can't you see who he really is?"

"Yeah sure you know who he is right?"

"He's not good enough for you. That I can see. You deserve better."

"You don't know him like I do."

"Come on, you know he will never be the man you want him to be."

"How do you know he is not already?"

"Stop lying to yourself for god sake."

"I'm not being weak. Couple is about concessions."

"Concessions? Honestly, how many concessions he has done so far?"

"I'm not like you, I don't want to lose the one I love because of my job. He is more important," she said harshly. Yet, she regretted her words immediately. She knew it hurt him, but she couldn't stop. "You know what? You are the one who's blind. You don't like him so you can't think straight."

"I am not the problem. He is. If you can't see it then you're not the smart girl I thought you were," he spat. Alexandra was shocked, it was the first time Damon yelled at her. She was sad and angry at the same time, it was a brand new sensation for her. She knew he could be cross, of course, but he had never been angry with her.

"He's not the problem. He has nothing to do with it! You're wrong!" She replied with anger.

"Go ahead ! Ask him ! Ask him, for once! Ask him if he loves you! We'll see!" He shouted. Her heart started to hammered in her chest, her breathing was quicker, she felt her eyes prickles. Tears were coming up and she could feel her eyes starting to get wet. She quickly brushed her cheeks.

"Alex…"Damon sighed, at the sight of her crying his anger disappeared immediately.

"No. I'm okay. It's okay. I got it. You made your point." She left the room, tears running on her cheeks. Tears were flooding her eyes when she left the infirmary, blurring her vision. She hated Lucas for being so selfish, she hated Damon for being such an ass and she hated herself for being so stupid. She felt ashamed and used. She was not expecting Damon to react like that and, for sure, she never thought Lucas would ask her such a thing. She stopped her walk in a dark alley between two houses and her legs gave away as if the weight of her pain was too heavy for her to carry._"Okay Alex, give a good cry and then forget it." _She stayed sat on the ground, crying for a long time, then she brushed her cheeks and breath slowly to calm down. She wondered how she got here, what had she done wrong? She weighed the pros and cons. '_The facts Alex, only the facts. Think straight_,' she commanded her. Why now? Why Lucas was acting like a jerk now? And why Damon was against her too? Lucas and her knew each other for almost a year. They were together for 9 months, half of it in the jungle, the other half in Terra Nova. They always lived together. In the jungle they were together, so it had been obvious they had to move in together when Lucas arrived at Terra Nova. '_Then what?_' She asked herself. She knew there was nothing normal in their relationship. She couldn't count like she would have done in 2012. In 2012, it would have been too soon to live together, their relationship would have grown more slowly. Here, it felt right. She was sure it had nothing to do with their way of life. Living in Terra Nova was safer than the jungle, so why was he worrying now? Then, there was Damon. She knew Lucas hated him, it was obvious. Jealousy had probably helped him asking her to quit her job. She had to take a decision, she couldn't stay like that, cut between the two of them. Deep down, she knew her choice was already made for a long time. If she had to choose, it would be Lucas, it would always be Lucas. She couldn't stop loving him, even if she wanted to. He was under her skin, stick to her, unable to go away. Yet, she thought Damon deserved her respect and her to be a better friend. She had been selfish with him, she had talked and acted with him like you do with a girls, she had expected him to be her best friend, her confident and she could not blame him for the reaction he had earlier. He was a good friend and he wanted to protect her as well. But he was not a girl, he was a man and he might want to date her, she was well aware of that now. She was pretty sure that Lucas was the only reason why he had not already asked her for a date. She had to stick to her precedent decision. Lucas was not ready to say he loved her, clearly it was selfish to ask her to stop going OTG, yet it was his way of telling her he loved her, he had always been possessive, she knew it, even if she acted like he was not. She would give him what he asked, but he would have to give something else in return. Alexandra stood up and walked back home, ready to live with Lucas as he was. If it was his way to tell her he loved her, then she didn't need him to say it. After all, who said he had to say it to prove it? She would not force him to say it, but he would have to prove it to her.


	26. Dinner at 4

The longest chapter ever wrote! I guess it deserves big reviews!)

* * *

><p><strong>Dinner at 4<strong>

Alexandra and Lucas were having lunch in silence. Lucas was afraid to speak first, he knew exactly why Alexandra was speechless, she was still upset with him for having forced her to stop going OTG. When she had come back home, he had seen her eyes were red from crying. She stared at her plate for a moment before she eventually looked at him.

"I've been thinking about us."

"You? Think?" He mocked. The glare she gave him proved him his attempt to lighten the mood was useless.

"Our life is divided in two parts, the sex part and the job part. I'm not saying I don't like both parts, but we should change it."

"Yes, definitely. I vote for 100% of sex part," he smirked.

"I was talking about socialization with other people!" She warned him.

"You mean like having a threesome?" He joked again.

"Really funny, Taylor. How many friends do you have?" He seemed to be counting in his head. "Malcolm doesn't count," she added as he was opening his mouth to answer.

"I've got you."

"I don't count."

"You count a lot."

"You asked me to stop something. I accepted it, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"In exchange, I want you to do something for me, for us. If I can't be totally satisfied in my job, then I want a compensation in my private life."

"And by compensation, you mean ?"

"I mean a night out with people."

"Who?"

"Hmmm… A couple."

"Tell me you're thinking about Mark and Maddy!"

"Skye and Josh."

"Ah Alex, no! Honestly? The Shannon boy?"

"Yes, the Shannon Boy and your Bucket," she said ironically. Lucas stared at her. She was clearly serious and it was obvious it was a test he must not fail.

"Ok. Dinner at Boylan's with them. I invite Skye, you invite the Sh… Josh," he quickly named him as Alexandra's eyes narrowed.

"Ok," she shook his hand. "Deal."

Alexandra left him and went to find Josh when Lucas went back to work, wondering how he was going to ask Skye to come out for dinner with him. Lucas went to the lab and tried to work but he couldn't concentrate on his calculations. Thinking about Skye and how making her accept to dine with them was his only thought. He had to know if she would before becoming mad, he stood up and left his desk, walking to the infirmary, looking for her. He saw her, speaking to Hunter. It looked like she was arguing with him. Lucas waited for Hunter to leave before coming to her.

"Not now Lucas, I'm not in the mood," she stated when she saw him.

"I haven't said a single word yet!"

"Yeah well don't start, I won't listen," she said, walking away. Lucas followed her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she sighed. "And stop following me!"

"Bucket," he grabbed her arm and spun her so she would face him. "Tell me, how can I help you?" Skye stared at him but didn't say a word. Actually, she didn't know what to say, she was lost in his deep green eyes. "You know, you can't avoid me forever, Terra Nova is not that big. I thought we were ok?"

"We are, it's just Hunter, he…" She shook her head. "It's nothing."

"What Hunter?"

"He is just lost in his feelings, that's all."

"What, another suitor for my Bucket?" He mocked.

"It's not funny, it sucks. This is not how the world should work. I shouldn't have to deal with this again."

"Then change the world. Be sure that if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got." Skye looked at him, surprised. He would always surprise her, saying something very serious a minute after mocking her. She never knew where she stood with him.

"I… I'll deal with this. What do you want?"

"I'm here because I have to ask you something I'm pretty sure you don't wanna do, yet you'll accept to do because I'm asking you to."

"Really?" She asked, amused, arching her eyebrows.

"Yes," he smirked.

"And what could make you think you have that power over me?" She teased.

"Cause you're my sister and as a good sister, you want to please your brother."

"I doubt that. What do you have to ask me?"

"I want you and the Sh… your boyfriend, to come and dine with Alex and me, tonight, at Boylan's."

"With you? You and Josh?"

"And Alex, yes."

"Are you setting a trap?"

"No!"

"Then why?"

"Long story. Just be there ok?"

"Lucas, I don't think… Last time you were with Josh at Boylan's, with me, you both fought and he ended in a cell."

"Past mistakes. Won't happen again."

"I'm sure he won't accept."

"Use your talents," he leant to her, whispering to her ear. "I'm sure you can be very persuasive." Having him so close made her shiver, her heart was pounding in her chest.

"I'll see what I can do," she stammered. She didn't even know why she had said yes, because clearly, she would go, she knew it.

"Good," he murmured before kissing her quickly on the cheek. "I'll see you there." Skye stayed frozen for a minute, the time it took for her brain to reboot. She was totally disturbed by his behavior and didn't know what to think about it. They had this troubled past together and she couldn't figure out what he wanted at the time, it was worse now. She was really lost. Dr Shannon called her from a room and brought her back to reality. She went back to work, still thinking about what had just happened.

Alexandra was glancing around the market to find Josh when someone called her.

"Hi Alex!"

"Hi Trinity!" Trinity was one of the guards. There were not many of girls as soldiers, it was easy for Alexandra to remember her.

"You're not working?"

"Huh, no."

"Oh, I thought you were." She looked disappointed.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I saw Damon earlier and I know you're together."

"He was working?"

"Yes. Well I guess. He was in uniform though."

"Are you sure? He was at the infirmary this morning, I don't think Dr Shannon would allow him to go back to work so soon."

"He was talking with Commander Taylor. Actually, I think they were arguing."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Damon must have been really pissed off 'cause he was pointing his finger to Taylor's face," she confessed. Alexandra became suddenly pale. She was pretty sure they were arguing about this morning. For sure, Taylor was on Lucas' side and disagreed with Damon on why she should or shouldn't go OTG.

"Well, I don't know why either," she lied. "You were looking for him?"

"No! Huh… Yes," she confessed, obviously ashamed.

"Maybe I can help you?" Alexandra asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You and him, you are just friends right?" Alexandra nodded. "Do you know if he has a girlfriend?" The question startled Alexandra. She suddenly felt utterly stupid having never thought other girls could be interested with him.

"I don't think he has one."

"Cool," she said, relieved. "Don't tell him I asked you, ok?"

"Sure," she smiled.

"Thanks, you're great!" She said before leaving. Alexandra's smile faded when Trinity was away. She realized she could lose Damon. Trinity was a good girl and would probably be great with Damon, yet Alexandra felt a bit jealous. She was not used to sharing Damon with anyone, if he had a girlfriend, for sure it would change their relationship. Alexandra walked to Boylan's to find Josh, her head filling with interrogations. She eventually found him behind the building, exercising, lifting logs up and down.

"What are you doing?"

"What? Isn't it obvious?"

"Huh, I'm not really sure. Planning to be mister universe or something?"

"I'm trying to be more muscular."

"Why? You already are muscular."

"I think Skye might like it if I was fitter," he confessed, slightly ashamed.

Alexandra couldn't suppress the laugh that came from his answer. It was so funny to see how distressed Josh was that she started crying from laughter. After a minute, she brushed her cheeks to wipe the tears that were running from her eyes, laughter still audible and filling the air around them.

"Are you done yet?" he asked, annoyed, looking around him and noticing people were staring at them. Alexandra's laugh had been too loud for people not to hear it. She held up a finger, her dark blond hair covering her face as another surge of giggles escaped.

"Ok… I think I'm done now," she managed to say, tittering. Josh rolled his eyes.

"I'm so glad this amuses you, Alex." She tried to give to her face an expression of seriousness but it didn't fool him.

"Sorry Josh," though she was clearly not. Her blue eyes sparkled with unrepentant mirth. "I think this is sweet of you but… I'm sure Skye wouldn't like a bodybuilder as a boyfriend." She giggled.

"How do you know?"

"I don't actually, it's just a feeling. Feminine instinct I guess."

"Lucas is muscled and you like it right?"

"Lucas has spent years in the jungle, eating what he could, being fit was his only way to survive. He is only muscles, but he doesn't need to exercise to stay fit. Yet, he's far away from a bodybuilder!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not such a good idea. I don't like exercising anyway!" He smiled.

"Talking about Lucas, I wanted to ask you a favor.'

"What favor?" He asked, suspicious.

"I'd like you and Skye to join us for dinner tonight, at Boylan's."

"Ah Alex, no. Sorry, you know how much I like you, but… Not a good idea."

"Skye said yes," she lied.

"Did she?"

"Yeah, I mean, she will."

"Alex!"

"Please Josh, one night," she begged.

"If Skye is ok, then yes," he sighed.

"Great!" She smiled. "At 7?"

"7."

"See you later!"

Alexandra was the first to arrive at Boylan's. She saw Tasha at the bar, drinking.

"Hey Tasha! It's been a while!"

"Yeah I know! How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Nice black eye!"

"Thanks," she smiled. "What about you? Everything's ok? Hunter? Tell me all about it!"

"Honeymoon is over," she said bitterly.

"Oh, what make you think that?"

"Hunter is more distant, he's different from the beginning."

"I guess it can always be a honeymoon, huh?"

"Maybe."

"It's gonna be alright. I'm sure it's just a period."

"I doubt that. I think he still loves Skye."

"Skye?"

"Yeah, he loves her since he was 4. I think you can't change that easily."

"I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Skye and Josh entered the bar and Tasha winced at the sight of Skye.

"I better go."

"Tasha, I'm sure you are overreacting. Skye is with Josh, she won't steal Hunter from you. You should go and talk to him."

"Yeah maybe. It was nice to chat with you. Have a nice time." Tasha walked out without looking at Skye. Skye seemed confused by her friend's attitude.

"What's her problem?" She asked Alexandra.

"I'm not sure. I think it has to do with Hunter."

"I heard they were having problems," Josh said.

"I heard that too," Skye added. Alexandra thought Skye looked ashamed. Of course, if she was the reason of the problem, she could be. They sat at a table, waiting for Lucas.

"I wanted to tell you how much I am impressed. You managed to change Lucas into a good person," Skye started to say.

"Change?"

"Yes. I mean, he has changed and obviously he is more normal now thanks to you." Alex eyes widened in disbelief.

"Normal?" Alexandra didn't like the way people saw her. A kind of utopist savior for lost people. "I haven't changed him. He hasn't changed. You just have the chance to see who he really is now." Her eyes must have betrayed her anger because Josh and Skye both nodded in agreement. It was just when Lucas arrived behind her, wrapped her in his arms, kissing her neck.

"Talking about me again?" he teased.

"You're not that important," Skye quickly replied. Josh gave her a dark look.

"My sweet sister! I missed your love so much," he smirked. Alexandra stood up.

"Would you excuse us for a minute please?" she didn't wait for the answer, grabbed Lucas's hand and walked outside. She leaned against the wall, exhaled loudly, eyes shut. When she opened them, Lucas had casually put his forearm on the wall above her head, his face inches from hers.

"What is it?" He asked her.

"I don't like the way people see you and talk to you. It's getting on my nerve."

"I can see that," he chuckled softly.

"It's not funny!" She pouted.

"I don't care what they think."

"Since when don't you care?"

"Since I got you." He gave her a crooked smile. Her heart melted. His intense green eyes were locked into hers.

"You know what? Let just go home. I have a better idea on how to spend our night," she murmured in a seductive tone. Her hands pulled his shirt to lean him closer. She kissed his lips, his cheeks, his neck. She felt his body tense under her touch. His forearm still on the wall, he grabbed her waist with his left arm. She put her arms around his neck, forcing him to get closer to her. It took him no more to tighten her against the wall. His hands travelled on her back, her buttocks and then finally went under her shirt. She shivered under the warmth of his hands.

"Alex?" Lucas whispered between kisses.

"Hmm," she distractively answered. He cupped her face, forcing her to open her eyes.

"You asked me to be more friendly with the others. And here I am, to spend a night out with your friends."

"But…"

"There is no but," he cut. "You're going to be a good girl and we are going to have fun tonight. Ok?"

"Ok," she sighed.

"And maybe, if you really are a good girl, then we'll play another game at home," he murmured into her ear as they were walking back into the bar. They spent the dinner talking and laughing, it was actually not that bad. Of course, Lucas would mock Skye at every occasion he had and annoy Josh when he could. Alexandra was more silent than usual they all noticed it. Actually, she regretted her dinner idea. She had asked Lucas to accept it to annoy him, but in the end, she was the one who was annoyed. After a few drinks, she started to be a little bit more cheerful.

"You know, I miss real food, I miss bread... It's not about from when I'm coming, it's about where I'm coming, education, culture. You are Americans. I'm French. We can't miss the same things." They were talking about life in Terra Nova.

"Well you live here so I guess you have no other choice," Skye stated.

"I think Skye's right," Lucas said. "Yet I can understand you. I miss few things myself."

"I guess I'm a little bit homesick. I like it here. I like the people here. But when I think about everything I could do before and that I can't do anymore, sometimes it makes me sad," she said truthfully.

"Yeah, I miss home too sometimes," Josh sighed. "Even if it was impossible to live properly there, I had a life."

"That's nice for me," Skye said, half hurt.

"You know what I mean. I'm sure you would have stayed where you were if you had known what would happen. If you had the choice, you'd do it differently."

"Probably." Skye knew he was right, she would still have her father and her mother would never have been ill for such a long time. She had lost so much since they had arrived. Alexandra had succeeded in casting a cloud over the whole evening with her dark thoughts. They all stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about their conversation.

"What is that?" Josh grimaced as an unknown music started to fill the room.

"Oh I love this song!" Alexandra screamed, smiling. Everybody stared at us. "What? It's famous! Good feeling? FloRida? No?"

"Do you remember that we used to live 137 years after your life?" Skye asked, slightly annoyed.

"Oh," was the only word that came out when Alexandra realized she was the only one to know this song. "Doesn't matter, I love this song!" She stated, standing up.

"Hey, are you going to dance?" Josh winced, worried.

"Josh, you should know something about me, when it comes to music, singing and dancing, I'm shameless!" She beamed and moved away from them, wiggling her hips, hopping lightly and shaking her shoulders to the beat of music. Skye looked at her skeptically, she thought the girl was crazy. Alexandra saw Lucas glaring at something or someone behind her. She turned her head and noticed that Damon was at the bar. He winked at her and Alexandra couldn't suppress a smile. "Excuse me," she said before leaving the table and going to talk to Damon.

"Apology song?" She teased Damon, a tiny smile appearing on her face.

"Yes," he confessed.

"Apology accepted," she reassured him.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, caressing her bruised cheek gently.

"It's ok. It doesn't hurt."

"I feel bad you know. It was the first time we had an argument."

"I know," she said sadly. She felt the necessity to reach him and to embrace him. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to his ear. He tightened his embrace.

"Me too," he murmured. Alexandra felt Lucas' eyes boring into her back and broke their embrace. Damon noticed that Lucas was glaring at them.

"What is she doing?" Skye asked Lucas, feeling sorry for him. She didn't know why but she didn't like to see him hurt.

"Getting on my nerve," he scowled.

"Why?" She asked truly.

"A sort of test I guess," he sighed, annoyed. Alexandra stayed talking with Damon and Lucas was boiling inside.

"You know, since I left the infirmary few months ago, I think I haven't spent a day without you," Alexandra said to Damon. "And this is how I see it. I share my life between you and Lucas, and I like it that way. I know it's selfish but…"

"Don't," he cut. "I know what you're saying. I feel the same. I don't wanna live without you. I will accept Lucas if I have to."

"Thank you," she smiled at Damon.

"You're welcome," he grinned. "But thank you for what?"

"Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being that supportive. I know I'm not easy to live with."

"Alex, you don't see yourself clearly. You are the easiest girl to live with I know."

"You know, I didn't think you were really listening to me when I told you about this song."

"I'm always listening to you!" He answered, faking to be shock.

"Yeah suuuure!"

"Do you wanna dance?"

"Do you remember what happen last time we spent the night here?" She laughed. Alcohol was helping her to feel lighter.

"Pretty much yeah!" He smirked. She grinned seductively at him, she remembered perfectly what could have happened that night between them.

"I might avoid the dance… But I might accept a drink!" She chuckled.

"Tom, a gin tonic for the lady please," he ordered.

"Yes Lieutenant," Boylan replied.

"I saw Trinity today…" She paused and remembered she had swore to not tell him she liked him. "She said you argued with Taylor."

"Yeah well… Let's just say I disagreed with him but I'm sure you already know that," he winked at her. She nodded.

"A gin tonic for this tonic girl," Boylan joked.

"Thanks bartender!" She grinned. "Tchin!" She said, banging her glass against Damon's whisky.

"Cheers," Damon smiled.

"So…" She drawled. "How did it end?" Damon arched his eyebrows. "With Taylor."

"Oh that!"

"Yes that!"

"We found a solution."

"Which is?"

"You stay inside. I stay with you. When I have to go out, Reilly comes with me."

"Oh."

"Disappointed?"

"No."

"Jealous then?" He teased. She drank quickly half of her glass of gin before answering.

"Nope. She's a good corporal. It's good."

"Good," he smiled, knowing it was clearly not. Lucas was still glaring at them and it made Josh nervous.

"He's just a friend you know," he dared to say. He regretted it immediately, Lucas turned his dark eyes to him.

"I know," he snarled through gritted teeth. His eyes got suddenly lighter. "Is Hunter just your friend Bucket?" He scoffed. Josh turned quickly his head to see Skye's cheeks blushing.

"Shut up!" It was the only thing she managed to say. It made him laugh. "Hunter is just a friend," she insisted.

"Just like us, isn't it?" He smirked.

"Not like us. Our friendship is more… Hmm, I like you as much as I like the syncillic fever," she snapped.

"My dear sister, I like you too," he winked at her. She shook her head, annoyed. Yet, she suppressed a smile. She liked it when he teased her. Josh seemed lost, he didn't know what was a joke and what was not.

"Ok, enough," Lucas suddenly said, standing up. He arrived by surprise next to Alexandra and kissed her hungrily. Damon rolled his eyes, sighing. Of course, this was an obvious message for him to stop talking to Lucas' girlfriend.

"Let's go home," Lucas whispered to her ear.

"What about '_we are going to have fun tonight_?'" She gestured quotes with her fingers.

"I didn't say we had to have fun with your friends…" He said in a husky voice.

"Oh oh oh," she laughed. "That is very explicit!" She giggled. She was drunk, Lucas could see it. He had never seen her like that. He did not drink much, only very little. When he took over Terra Nova, he drank too much, his mind was clouded. He had made mistakes because of alcohol, he did not want that to happen again. He liked to be in control of himself. Alexandra was clearly out of it.

"Alex, come on," he sighed, slightly annoyed.

"I don't need anyone to walk me home," she stated. "I'm a woman who's independent," she started to sing, smiling. It was obviously a private joke, nobody here could know this song. Damon looked at her dubiously, yet amused. She spun around, nearly fell down, grabbing the bar just in time. She turned to look at Lucas and Damon, smiling victoriously. "See! I can handle myself!" Lucas sighed loudly and grabbed her waist before throwing her on his shoulders.

"I take you home." He groaned.

"Hey I haven't finished my drink," she argued. Lucas didn't say a word and continued to walk home. "Lucas! Lucas! I haven't said goodbye to Skye and Josh!"

"Like you care," he said with a frown. He kept a quick pace until he reached their house, then put her on her feet and leaned her against the wall while he was typing the key code to open the door.

"We never had sex when I was drunk," she whispered in his ear. "It's worth it," she said in what she thought was a seductive tone. He inhaled quickly, choking back laughter. His anger faded quickly when he looked at her, she was staring at him with a pert smile.

"Sure," he smirked. "Maybe next time." He took her in his arms to lead her to the bed. He couldn't stay angry with her too long. He didn't know why, it was always like that. He pulled off her shoes and pulled the covers up over her. He looked back at her face to see she was already asleep. He laughed in silence as she started to snore. He shook his head, beaming. "Goodnight, Alex." He whispered, brushing the hair out of her eyes, kissing her on her forehead, and silently exited the bedroom.

"Lucas," she mumbled.

"Yes?" He whispered, not sure if she was really awake or if she was talking in her sleep like she used to do when she was very tired.

"Don't leave me," she murmured in a sad tone. Lucas' heart tightened at the sound of her cracked voice. Lucas never thought Alexandra was still afraid he could leave her. He knew it was her deepest fear, yet he believed she had understood he would not. Obviously, even if she pretended the opposite, she was surely scared to lose him. Lucas wondered if it was the reason why she had accepted to stop going OTG so quickly . He returned to her and lay down in the bed next to her. She immediately reached into his arms, fully asleep, and he cuddled her.

"I won't," he swore, gently caressing her face with his hand. "I'm right here."


	27. Be my friend

I'll just say one word : REVIEW (please?) :)

* * *

><p><strong>Be my friend<strong>

The next morning, Lucas woke up fully dressed. He had fallen asleep next to Alexandra. He looked at her and smiled. He shook his head, laughing in silence. This girl was amazingly pretty, even after what happened last night, even with her messy hair on her face, even if she was drooling on her cushion, snoring lightly. He gave her a quick kiss on the head and went to the bathroom. He had a shower to wake him up and relaxed his stiff muscles under the warm water. He got dressed and went to the lab. Lucas had been working for an hour or so when Skye came to talk to him.

"How is Alex?"

"She's ok, I guess. She'll probably have a bad hangover though."

"I don't know her that much but it didn't seem like her to act like that, did it?"

"Yeah…" He sighed.

"Why is she doing that?"

"Not sure why myself," he replied, his eyes looking away thoughtfully. Skye felt her heart clench at his distress. She stared at him for a moment until she realized he was looking back at her. "Why are you here?" He asked her, changing the subject, his eyes narrowing.

"I just wanted to check on you," she said, disturbed.

"Why?"

"Because… Because I just wanted to."

"Why?" He asked again as he stood up and came close to her.

"Because I wanted to know… I wanted to ask you…" She stammered.

"Yes?"

"Why do you want to be my friend?" She suddenly asked, confused.

"I don't want to be your friend, you're not just a friend Bucket, you're my sister. There's nothing to explain." Skye looked at him, stunned. "Why don't you want to be mine? Why are you fighting it?" He asked truly.

"Because you're the bad guy, the enemy," she winced.

"I'm not," he said calmly, yet hurt. She looked at him, her gaze scrutinizing him.

"No, you're not." She confessed. He looked at her, surprised. "But you play games, and it confuses me!"

"What games?"

"Teasing me and all…"

"Teasing you?" He chuckled.

"I never know how to be with you."

"Just be yourself Bucket, that's the way I like you," he smiled.

"See, it's exactly what I'm talking about. I don't know if you're serious or if you're mocking me!"

"I'm serious," he said, his intense green eyes staring deeply at her. Skye gulped, uncomfortable. "Are we okay Bucket?" He asked, his face inches from her.

"Yes," she mumbled, her gaze going from his lips to his eyes. Her body was shaking, whether it was from nervousness or excitement, she was not really sure.

"Good," he smiled. "I have enough problems to deal with for the moment."

"What problems?"

"I'm not sure yet. But thanks for asking," he said, hugging her.

"You're welcome," she managed to say. It was really strange for her, she wanted to be nice to him, yet when she would, it felt wrong. She really had to figure out why she was feeling this way about him. "Ok, I have to go back to the infirmary."

"See you later then," he grinned at her.

"See you," she smiled, leaving him. Yes, she really felt better when she was in good terms with him, she was tired hating him. He was part of her life even if she would not want to. He was Taylor's son and she considered him as a father, she couldn't hate Lucas, she would give him a chance from now on. He was not the same maniac than before, he was nice to her and he had been really patient with her. Lucas was happy that Skye seemed ready to give him a real chance to get to know each other. He had always liked her since the beginning. She was a clever and funny girl, he knew exactly why his father liked her. He didn't know what having a sister meant, yet he was ready for it.

Alexandra had difficulty opening her eyes, her head was heavy, like an elephant was sitting on it. She tried to remember what happened the night before. She hardly remembered the end of the evening but she was sure of three things: 1 - she had been drunk, 2 - she had played with Damon knowing perfectly that it would annoy Lucas and 3 - Lucas had carried her on his shoulders all the way back home. She felt ashamed and humiliated, and she was the only one to blame for it. She rolled from the bed and let her knees fall on the floor. She pushed herself up, her hands on the bed helping her. She wobbled to the bathroom and looked at her face in the mirror.

"Aaarrgh shit," she mumbled, rubbing her face with her hands. Then she saw the time on her watch, it was 10. "Damn it! I'm dead." She cursed herself, quickly grabbing her clothes and starting to dress. She threw water on her face, brushed quickly her teeth and hair and ran outside. The light was hurting her eyes too much, she came back home and put her sunglasses on. As she walked to the headquarters, her headache increased at the sound of people chatting everywhere.

"Good morning Commander," she said as she entered. He looked at her, then at his watch. "I know, I'm late, very late, I'm sorry, very sorry, I missed my alarm and…"

"I don't want to know why you're late." He starred at her, eyes narrowing, and she realized she still had her sunglasses on. She took them off quickly and grimaced at the light in the room. "I have to treat you like everyone else, do you understand that?"

"Yes sir."

"I want you to go to the market and join Dunham for the daily patrol."

"Isn't he supposed to be with Reilly?"

"She's OTG with the Lieutenant Keagan."

"Oh."

"Is there a problem?"

"No, not at all. It's perfect."

"Because we both know you don't want to go OTG anymore anyway, right?" He asked, his eyes suspicious.

"Right," she nodded.

"You better leave now before I change my mind and send you on a cleaning duty."

"I'm gone," she said before leaving him. She ran to the market and found Dunham.

"Hi!"

"Hi."

"I believe we are partners today," she smiled.

"Indeed," he winced.

"Hide your happiness," she said, hurt.

"Sorry, it's not you. It's just… Reilly is my partner, not you. I guess I'm a little bit possessive,' he smiled sadly.

"I understand exactly what you're talking about. I don't like to be with you either, no offense." He nodded. " 'cause Damon is my partner."

"I guess we both agree on who's our partner."

"Yeah."

They stopped talking and walked together, observing people, keeping an eye on everyone.

"Morning," a loud voice said from behind them. Alexandra winced at the voice. She turned and glared at Lucas who had come to stand beside her, appearing out of nowhere. He was so good at this game, he would always be there when he could make fun of someone. Clearly, it was her time and he was not going to miss it. "Did you sleep well?" He asked, beaming, his voice still much louder than necessary. He was delighted to see how much she was struggling to keep calm. It was obvious she wanted to jump on him and strangle him so he would shut his mouth. If she had had a gun instead of her eyes, he would be dead by now.

"Why are you speaking so loudly?" Dunham asked, bewildered.

"Because he thinks it's funny," she said to Dunham, her eyes still glaring at Lucas, her arms folded on her chest. "Did you turn off my clock alarm this morning?"

"Nope."

"You're lying," she said, furious.

"Maybe I did and so what? You were so peacefully asleep… snoring," he smirked.

"You are such an a…" Lucas quickly put a finger on her mouth, stopping her.

"Don't thank me, you're welcome." Alexandra took a deep breath to keep calm. "I'm going to have lunch. Do you want something? Aspirin maybe?" He mocked.

"Your father punished me for being late, I have to work nonstop until 8," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Thanks to you," she added, smiling soberly.

"Hey I'm not the one who was late at work!"

"You're guilty Taylor and you know it. I'm not going to forgive you that easily."

"I'll make you forgive me, tonight, home, bedroom, bed, sex, you know…" He said, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Yeah right, you'll have to do a lot more to make me forgive you for having me trapped here with Dunham the whole day."

"I know you'll forgive me, you always do," he smirked. "Actually, you always forgive everybody. I'm quite disappointed of how quickly you forgave Damon after how he treated you yesterday."

"You listened to us?"

"Only the beginning." Alexandra let escape a sigh, reassured to know that at least Lucas had not heard the 'love' part of their conversation.

"I forgave Damon because it was not who he is and it was our first argument since I met him, it means a lot."

"I know, the guy is so perfect," he said bitterly, glaring away.

"Look, Lucas…" She cupped his face with her hands so he would look at her. "I wanted to apologize for my behaviour last night. I know I've been an idiot and I have no excuse."

"It's ok, I don't blame you. I guess it had been a hard day for everybody."

"Thank you," she said, truly sorry, before kissing him.

"I'll see you tonight. Have fun with Dunham," he smiled.

"Don't push your luck too far Taylor," she warned him. He grinned and kissed her quickly before leaving her with Dunham.

"So, you and Taylor's son, huh?"

"Yeah, me and the boss' son," she chuckled.

"Funny, I thought you would end up with Damon."

"Really?" She chuckled darkly. "Why?"

"I don't know, just a feeling."

"Yeah well keep your feeling to yourself ok?"

"None of my business anyway."

"Exactly. Because I'm not telling you how to be with Reilly."

"Sorry Alex, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just…"

"Talking without thinking, like you always do. I'm not hurt, I just want you to know I'm not with Damon, ok?"

"Ok."

They spent the rest of their day in silence. It was 8 and Alexandra was exhausted by her day. She was hungry and needed a cold shower. On her way back home, Alexandra saw Skye sitting on the marches of her front door. "Can I be alone with you?" she teased.

"Of course," she smiled. Alexandra sat next to her. "Nice evening last night, I'm really impressed how much you can drink," she mocked gently.

"Yeah I know, sorry for that."

"Don't worry, actually it was really a nice night out."

"I'm glad to know that. What are you doing here on your own? Is Josh working?"

"No. He's with his father. Mr Shannon wants him to help him with something. He hasn't told me what."

"Is it why you look so sad?"

"Sad? I'm not sad," she replied, surprised.

"Well you look worried. Is there something wrong?"

"Everything is fine," she forced a smile but it didn't fool Alexandra.

"You do know you can talk to me if you need to, right? I'm good at keeping secrets." Skye sighed and nodded.

"It's about a boy," she started. "He has been teasing me for weeks now and I don't know why he is doing this."

"Do you like it?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it does! If you like it then you probably want to know why he does it. Otherwise, you don't have to care."

"I'm not sure."

"Who is he? Do I know him?"

"I can't tell you. Actually, I should have not told you. It's stupid," she said suddenly, uncomfortable.

"Why?"

"Because… Because he is with a girl I know, a girl I really appreciate and respect, and because I am with someone too," she confessed. Alexandra thought immediately about Hunter. She knew he was having couples problems with Tasha and she had heard that hunter always had a crush on her.

"Is it serious?"

"What?"

"Does he love his girlfriend? Is it serious between them? Because if he really flirts with you, then maybe you are doing to this girl a favour."

"I think he cares for her. He might love her too but he is not the kind of guy who is going to admit it. They have been together for a long time now and they… they had been through a lot in the past. Yet they are still together so…"

"What about Josh? Don't you love him anymore?"

"Josh is the perfect boyfriend, he loves me…" She stopped, she didn't know what to say next.

"But it's not what you are waiting for?" It was more a statement than a question.

"I'm lost. I don't even know if this guy has feelings for me"

"Well, I think you are clever enough to know what you want and what you are going to do to have it. If it was me, I would be honest with my boyfriend, with this boy and with myself. I'd rather regret something I've done than something I wanted to do and I never did. But it's just my point of view, I'm sure deep down you know what you have to do to find out. It would be a shame to miss your soul mate just because you're too shy to ask him, wouldn't it?"

"Too shy to ask what?" Lucas interrupted, a smirk on his face.

"That is none of your business," Skye spat.

"Bucket, your problems are mine too," he mocked, faking to be offended.

"Yeah right," she rolled her eyes. "Thank you Alex. Lucas, thanks for your help but no thanks. Good night," she waved and walked inside her house.

"Did I interrupt a very important girly conversation?" he asked with a fake innocent face.

"Yes you did. But I'm sure you already know that!" She mocked.

"Are you ready to go home? I have something really important to do tonight," he urged.

"What is so important that you have to hurry?" He leaned to her and murmured to her ear in a sulky voice.

"I've been waiting the whole day to see my girlfriend so I could make love to her. So yes, we have to hurry." She smiled, her eyes bright.

"It's funny because you know what? I think your girlfriend has been waiting for you to come back home so you could make love to her," she teased.


	28. He's just a man

Dear SamuraiJack, here is the storm you were waiting for! And it's only the beginning! Enjoy and review! :)

* * *

><p><strong>He's just a man<strong>

The next day, Alexandra was still on patrol duty, but this time, Damon was with her. She was very happy about it, yet she didn't really show it. Something was bothering her and she couldn't find a solution to stop it.

"How was your first day out with Reilly?" She asked casually as if she didn't care, despite the fact that she was eager to know.

"Silent." Alexandra looked at him, arching her eyebrows. "I mean, silent if I compare with you," he mocked.

"Poor you. I know how much you loooove having me talking all the time!" She grinned.

"Exactly. And you, with Dunham?" he asked on the same casual tone than her.

"I think he didn't really enjoy it either."

"What happened to him?"

"I think he thought about Reilly a lot. He was distracted the whole day."

"Well he's not the only one. You've been distracted the whole morning. What's on your mind?" Alexandra looked at him and sighed.

"Not a good day I guess." She winced.

"Tell me Alex, you know I won't judge you," he said truthfully. She looked away, thinking, then she noticed Lucas at the south of the market.

"It's about Lucas. I'm sure you don't wanna know."

"Give me a chance."

"I promised myself I would not blame him for asking me to stop going OTG but I'm frustrated. I feel like a lion in a cage," she said, walking between the stands, quickly glancing at Lucas, just enough to see he was staring at her, leaning against a unit wall, arms folding on his chest. She gave him a tiny wave and he winked at her, a crooked smile on his face. She couldn't suppress a smile, shaking her head. He was so sexy when he had this attitude. "Do you mind if I go and talk to him for a minute?"

"Sure."

"Thanks," she said before starting to walk to him. Lucas was smirking at her when he saw her face getting suddenly worried, looking at his right side. Lucas turned his head just in time to see a fist coming right through his face. The punch made him fall down, his head spinning. He heard people shouting around him.

"Josh! Josh, are you mad?" That was Alexandra's voice.

"Oh my God Josh, no!" That was Skye.

"Keep your boyfriend away from my girlfriend!" That was Josh, warning Alexandra.

"What?" Alexandra asked in disbelief, furious.

"You heard me," Josh huffed witheringly.

"Ok ok enough," Damon said, pushing Josh away. "You boy, go away and cool down. Skye, go with him," he commanded them. Skye nodded, gave a quick look to see Lucas sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, and joined Josh who was already gone. Alexandra knelt next to Lucas and took his hands off his face.

"Let me see," she murmured. He pushed her hands away.

"It's okay," he said angrily.

"Hey, I'm not the one who hit you ok? I'm trying to help," she said, hurt. She knew it was his anger talking, yet it was hurtful having him refusing her help.

"Sorry," he murmured, moving his face up so she could see.

"Nice, you'll have a bad black eye."

"I guess we make a good pair." He smiled lightly. She chuckled at his joke. She always loved the funny Lucas, he could make her forget everything.

"Stand up, I'll bring you home to clean this cut."

Alexandra brought Lucas home to look at his bruised eye. He sat in the living room while she went to the kitchen to get the emergency kit. She came back and stood in front of him. While she was cleaning the wound, she asked him what was going on between him and Skye.

"Nothing," he replied, surprised.

"Then why is Josh saying the opposite?"

"Because the Shannon boy doesn't like me" She waggled her eyebrows.

"Come on you know I'm right," he said, grabbing her legs and making her come closer to him. As he saw skepticism in her eyes, he added. "Really, there is nothing going on, I'm just annoying her, like I always did. He's mad at me because he's genetically programmed to make a big deal out of every little thing." He pulled her and sat her on his lap, her legs each side of his. "I think you look sexy when you're jealous," he smirked. She smacked his hand in response.

"Shut up!" she suppressed a smile, a fake angry look on her face. He brought her face close to his as she tried to go away.

"Stay here, I haven't finished with you," he warned her before kissing her hungrily, his hands going under her shirt, running on her back. She couldn't resist and kissed him back, excited by his warm touch. She dropped the medicine she had in her hands and ran them in his hair. Soon, their shirts had been taken off and he carried her to the bedroom.

Alexandra went back to the market an hour later and joined back Damon on their patrol.

"How is he?"

"He's okay."

"What happened?"

"If I knew it I would tell you but I have no idea."

"Taylor called me when you were with Lucas. We have a shift, we end at 7 instead of 9 but then we work again from 8 to 10."

"Super," she said ironically.

"I know. I don't like it either. I had plans for tonight."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I sort of invited Trinity for a drink."

"Is it a date?" She asked, surprised.

"Not a date, just two adults who are going to have a drink."

"It's a date," she chuckled.

"Yeah well doesn't matter anymore now, I have to cancel it."

"I'm sure she'll understand. You don't have to cancel it, just postpone it."

"You don't mind right?"

"Mind what?"

"Me and her, dating?"

"Of course not. I have no right to forbid you. She's nice and pretty, you'd be a fool not to give her a try." Alexandra was quite surprised by her answer, yet she knew that even if it was not really the truth, it was what Damon needed to hear. He looked disappointed though.

It was 7 and Alexandra was walking back home when she found Josh, sitting in a dark alley.

"Josh? Are you alright?"

"No…" He mumbled. "I'm not… not at all," he whined. She sat next to him and realized he was totally drunk.

"Oh Josh," she sighed. "Tell me what's going on."

"Do you know what it feels like when the girl you love loves another one?"

"I think Skye loves you Josh. Maybe it's just a bad time now but I'm sure you'll be happy again soon," she tried to reassure him. "It can't be that bad."

"I've never thought that she could be one day attracted by a guy like him. I mean, did you know this guy was obsessed with her before and she hated him, and now, he comes back as a brand new man and she suddenly sees in him the man she wants to be with."

"Wait. Who do you think she's in love with?"

"Lucas! Who else?"

Alexandra remembered the night before when Skye had told her about this mysterious guy who flirted with her but had a girlfriend. She remembered Skye saying she was lost in her feelings. She had thought she was talking about Hunter.

"I'm so stupid," she murmured to herself. "Josh, come on, I'll walk you back home, you can't stay here." She helped him to stand up and walked him home. When she reached the Shannon's house, Jim opened the door. He grimaced when he saw Josh drunk.

"Good evening Jim! I brought you a present," she smiled.

"What happened?"

"I think Josh is suffering from heartache." Dr Shannon arrived at the door, shaking her head when she saw how bad was is son. She helped him to get in.

"Thank you Alexandra," Dr Shannon said gently.

"What happened earlier at the market?" Jim asked her once Elisabeth was gone.

"Josh attacked Lucas. I don't know why. I think it's something to do with Skye, but I'm not sure." She lied. Actually she wasn't sure she was lying because she didn't really know what had happened between Skye and Lucas. Yet, there was something.

"Are you alright Alex?" asked Jim in a concerned tone. "You look worried."

"I'm fine. Thank you. I have to go now. I have 2 hours off before I go back to work, I need dinner! Take care of Josh and don't be too severe with him, I think he's already been punished."

Jim joined Elizabeth in Josh's bedroom.

"Son, what's going on?"

"I hate this guy."

"Lucas?"

"Dad, this guy is evil. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be allowed to talk to us, to talk to Skye."

"Well, that is not what Taylor thinks." Jim reminded him.

"And I think Alex would disagree with you," Elizabeth added.

"Alex shouldn't be with him. He's not good for her, nor for the colony," he hissed.

"Josh, you can't say that!" Elizabeth tried to calm him down. "Lucas has changed and Alexandra is most of the reason to that change."

"Mum, this guy can only hurt her."

"Josh, you're too young to understand them. You don't see what your mother and I see. It's not just that she brings out the best in him. He changes her too. Lucas is the best thing for Alex as much as he can be the worst. In each case, there is an unbreakable bond between them and you have to stop trying to break it," Jim explained. "The only thing stronger than his craving to hate his father is his love for her. He needs her as much as she needs him. I think we all have to accept it. They have been separated twice and they always ended up together. It means something."

Josh was too upset to agree with his parents, even if he knew they were right. But he could not stop thinking about Skye and how she was talking about Lucas, how he was with her. He was jealous and didn't trust the guy.

When Alexandra walked back home, Lucas didn't give her time to pause. He rushed over to her, kissing her, caressing her and taking off her clothes.

"Wow, wow, slow down cowboy," she chuckled under his hot kisses. "What's the rush?"

"I want you now," he said breathlessly, unbuttoning his belt. She put her hands on his, stopping him. He stopped kissing her and looked at her. "What?" He seemed concerned. She looked at his beautiful green eyes and got lost in them. She loved him and couldn't stop loving him.

"Nothing," she whispered putting her arms around his neck and kissing him. They ended in bed, having sensual and hot sex. Alexandra didn't stay in the bed long once they had finished. She quickly kissed him, stood up and got dressed. Lucas was surprised. She used to stay in bed with him. Lucas pushed himself up onto his elbows, his brow furrowing.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"I can see there's something"

"Honestly, there's nothing," she sighed. He stood up quickly and grabbed her wrists, turning her to face him.

"Don't lie to me Alex, you know you don't know how to lie. You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Yes you're mad at me because of what happened earlier. Admit it." He snapped.

"Yes, I'm mad at you, satisfied?" She said ironically.

"See, you're mad at me," he stated.

"Yeah you know what, actually I am fucking pissed off. I don't wanna say something I'll regret. I have to go back to the market, I'm supposed to be working tonight." She took her hands off of his and turned to go out.

"Hey wait, what is it?"

"What?" she sighed, annoyed.

"You! You're not telling me everything, are you? It's not only about this afternoon, is it?" Lucas walked to her and stop inches from her.

"Well if you really want to know, you're not telling me everything either. I remember that back in the jungle you used to tell me everything. Since we're here you are... You are different."

"Different?"

"You're more… distant and…" she murmured.

"Distant?" He cut her off. "We were closer than ever a minute ago!"

"Oh come on, you know I'm not talking about that. You tell me half of the truth and of course it's the half that is beneficial to you. I'm not saying you're lying to me but..." she stopped.

"But?", his eyes widened.

"Look, I know you're here because of me. I know it's not easy for you to be here and I am really grateful you decided to stay for me. But you are truly different from the man I met." Lucas was startled.

"So this is all my fault now? I changed for you, I did it for you, to prove you how much I wanted to satisfy you and this is how you thank me? Can't you see all the sacrifices I'm making to keep you by my side?"

"I wish you'd had done it for yourself. If you stay here just because of me then that is the wrong reason."

"I don't understand you anymore. What is it that you really want?"

"I don't know I…"

"Do you want to break up with me?" He asked, stunned.

"No, no I don't!" She cupped his face with her hands, shaking her head.

"Then what is it? Tell me for god sake what do you want from me?" He whispered softly in a sad tone. She took a deep breath and looked intensively at him.

"I want you to love me, I want you to stay with me because you love me, not just because I asked you to, not only because you think you have a sort of debt to me, I want you to be the charming sexy crazy guy I met in the jungle, I want... I want you to be happy with the way we live, not just pretending."

Lucas had been caught off guard. He hadn't seen it coming. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. It had always been like that with her. The second he thought he understood her perfectly, she would do or say something to unsettle him. He met her gaze, her eyes were looking for the truth deep in his, begging him to have the good answer. As he didn't reply, she sadly smiled at him and left him. Lucas stayed standing in the middle of their bedroom, stunned. He grabbed his clothes and got dressed. He was thinking about his conversation with Alexandra when a knock at the door brought him back to reality.

"Hi," Skye said sheepishly.

"Come to see the damage that your cocky boyfriend did?"

"More to apologize for his attitude."

"What did you say to him?"

"I don't understand."

"What did you say to him so he felt the urge to come and punch me?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you defending him?"

"He's my boyfriend!"

"Well, he seemed to be afraid you might not see him as a boyfriend anymore."

"He knows I'm with him."

"Does he know how much you were ready to save him in the past?" He teased her, leaning to her, stopping inches away from her. "Or maybe it was not for him," he whispered, his green eyes narrowing, looking for the truth in her blue eyes. Skye's heart was racing in her chest, her body trembling; it was suddenly harder to breath. Lucas stayed in front of her, waiting for an answer. Skye didn't know what to do and suddenly closed the gap between them and kissed him. She felt him stiffen in surprise, yet Lucas kissed her back. He had wanted it so much to happen in the past and now it was real. He had dreamt about it and this dream was suddenly true. He didn't think about what he was doing, he just did it. Lucas had played with Skye like he used to do when he had Terra Nova in charge. He never thought she would forget about the Shannon boy that easily. Or maybe he did. He wasn't sure anymore.

Alexandra was ashamed of how she had reacted earlier. She wanted to apologize to Lucas, explain herself and above all give him a chance to explain himself. Keeping secrets was not good for her sanity. She had to tell him what she knew about his story with Skye and understand why he never told her anything about it. As she entered the house, the scene that was playing in front of her made her freeze. Her heart stopped, just in front of her, in her house, was the man she loved kissing another woman. She stayed the mouth agape, her mind suddenly empty, unable to say a single word. She had been stabbed right in her heart.

Lucas broke their kiss and looked at Skye, confused. Then he felt a presence in the room and turned his head to see Alexandra staring at them, speechless. Skye gulped at the sight of Alexandra. If she could have disappeared, she would have done it. They stayed in silence, staring at each other, tension growing between them. Alexandra was clenching her teeth, her face paling, her eyes blank. Lucas was totally lost, he didn't know what to do, he was panicking. Skye looked at Lucas, then Alexandra and realized Lucas was not going to talk until she was gone. She took all the courage she had left and walked outside, ashamed, Alexandra's eyes boring into her.

"Alex…"

"No!" she cut, shaking her head. "No please say nothing. I… I really thought that would never happen to us. Honestly, we've been through so much together, I really thought we were different, you were different. I'm such an idiot, I spent weeks saying to everybody that they should trust you, that you're worth it. You said betrayal was part of your family, well you know what? Well done genius, you were right as usual."

"Alex, I swear to you I…"

"Don't! Don't swear! Pleeaasse don't lie to me, not in front of me," she sighed. "You know I thought of you as a tough man, smart and interesting, and it ends up he is young and stupid. I am so disappointed. Our life was just that annoying for your genius mind wasn't it? A normal life with a woman who loves you, was it that bad?" she cried.

"No, it's not about us, it's…"

"I want you to go," she managed to say. "Now. Just get out of here. Get out of my house, out of my life." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"You're not serious?" He walked to her, trying to reach her but she pushed him away.

"I said GET OUT!" she yelled, her eyes full of tears now. She just wanted him to go, she had to be alone right now, she didn't want to say anything she would regret, she really needed him to go. Lucas sighed and tried to catch her gaze but she was staring at the wall, waiting for him to leave.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he left.

That was too much, Alexandra burst into tears, shaking. She let her body fall down on the floor. She cried, cried until she had no more tears, until her own body felt no more pain, until she felt empty and used. She stayed curled on the floor a long moment, not moving, not thinking, doing nothing more than just being there. She finally found strength to stand up and went to Boylan's. She needed a drink, something strong, really strong. It was like she couldn't feel anything anymore.

Skye wasn't sure what happened earlier. Everything happened in a blur. Had she really kissed Lucas? He kissed her back though. She had come back to her house but couldn't stay there. Josh… She didn't want to see him right now. She knew he was with his parents tonight, having a family evening. She could go to Boylan's, she would be ok there. She actually felt ashamed of what happened and at the same time she wanted it to happen, so was it really wrong? If Lucas wanted it too then maybe they should be together? She was totally lost. She had Josh and he was good to her. He loved her, why was she hurting him? When she saw Alexandra drinking at the bar, she deliberated if she had to go back to her house or stay there. She dared to come and talk to her. She had to do something.

"Hi…" She said, her voice trembling a bit. Alexandra didn't answer, didn't even look at her, she was clearly ignoring her. "Alex, I know what you're thinking but…"

"Look, you really don't want to talk to me right now ok? I probably drank a bottle of gin and I really am pissed off right now… So please, just go away, go find some other lips to stick on."

"Alex, can we just be adults and talk about what happened?"

That was really too much for Alexandra. She didn't want to do something she'd regret, she didn't want to fight with her, she wanted to hurt her so much right now. She took a deep breath, glared at her, stood up and walked away. Skye followed her outside. Big mistake. She tried to reach Alexandra's arm to stop her. She wasn't expecting her to slap her in return. She stayed still, shocked, her hand on her flushing cheek. Alexandra didn't wait for her to react, she had too much on her heart right now.

"What's wrong with you? I don't know what you're playing at and I don't want to know. Isn't Josh enough for you that you need to go and take what's not yours?"

"I have feelings him," Skye murmured, tears prickling her eyes. Her cheek was hurting her. She'd probably have a bruise.

"What?" Alexandra asked, in disbelief

"I think… I think I love him," she said louder. Alexandra laughed out loud, she couldn't believe what she just heard.

"Really? You love him?" she mocked. "That's perfect!" She spat wryly. "You know what? You can have him! I give him to you. Do whatever you want to do, I don't care." She started to walk away, stopped, turned and said, seriously now, "I thought we were friends. You just stabbed me in the back. Funny how people told me to be careful with you. I've been stupid, you'll always be a traitor." She walked away as Skye stayed alone, crying and ashamed. She felt dirty and disgusting, she hated herself for what she had just done. Alexandra had made her point, Skye knew it.

Lucas didn't know what to do when Alexandra asked him to leave. He needed fresh air to make his mind straight. He had decided to go OTG. It would help him for sure. What had just happened? His kiss with Skye wasn't as he expected it. Actually, he didn't really enjoy it. He wanted it so much to happen in the past that it was too good to be true when it did. And now what? He had always called Skye his sister to tease her, his Bucket as he used to say. But now that he could have her, he didn't want her anymore? Why? Skye was beautiful and she wanted him. What had changed in him? Maybe nothing had changed, maybe he was wrong from the beginning. Skye was like a sister, not like a potential girlfriend. Alexandra's face crossed his minds. She had always been by his side, helped him, defended him… She had never betrayed him. Even after all the pain he had caused her. He suddenly realized how different he was with her, how intense his feelings had always been for her. A new question popped in his mind. Was it… love? He cared for her, sure he did. He missed her when she was away. He wanted her to be his, only his. But he was clearly the jealous type of guy so it was not a proof. He didn't want to share her with anyone. He always wanted to have sex with her, she knew how to arouse him and he liked it. He knew how to inflame her body just with his kisses. He never really thought about his feelings for her. They were together and it seemed normal, like best friends with benefits. They went through a lot together and he had been ready to raise a family with her. Being in the jungle with her had been fun, but they were only the two of them. Yet, living in Terra Nova had been his choice, for her, to stay with her. It's always when you lose something or someone that you realize how much you needed them. Love was a word he had never learnt to pronounce. He felt utterly stupid now, knowing that he was in love with her since the beginning and he had never told her. She had told him she loved him and he had never told her the same whereas he clearly was in love with her.

"I might be a genius but I'm not smart when it comes to love," he murmured to himself. It was too late for him to go back to her and tell her how he felt about her. And she was probably still upset with him. He decided he would go to see her in the morning. Knowing now that he loved her, he was sure of it, his heart felt light in his chest. It was a brand new sensation for him. He could love and was ready to be loved.


	29. No regrets

Chapter 29! Chapter 30 is on the way!

To TerraNovaFan, just let me tell you that you made my day with your "omg omg omg omg" and "love it love it love it"! This is clearly the kind of review that boost me to continue! :) So thank you very much!

* * *

><p><strong>No regrets<strong>

Alexandra didn't sleep that night. Her mind was always thinking and thinking again, the scene she had seen repeating again and again in front of her. In the early morning, she came to see Taylor, she had to talk to him, she had made a decision.

"Good morning Commander."

"Good morning Alexandra," he nodded. "What brings you here at such an early hour?"

"I've heard you planned a mission to the Badlands. I want to be part of it," she stated.

"Really? It's a 2 weeks mission. I thought you wanted to stay here… with Lucas." She didn't want to talk about him with his father. There was no way she was going to talk about her private life with him today.

"Can I go with you or not?" Taylor deliberated, wondering why she suddenly wanted to leave Terra Nova. He knew she was a good soldier, she would be useful in the Badlands and Taylor would be there if something went wrong.

"Ok. We'll leave in an hour. Be ready." Alexandra didn't wait and ran to her house, grabbed everything she needed and went straight back to the gate where all the soldiers were. Damon didn't say a word when he saw her sit next to him in the car. He just nodded in agreement. He was happy to see her back with him as a team. She smiled at him, ready to go, sticking to her choice. Yet, her heart tightened when they passed the gate and left Terra Nova. It was for the best, she had made the right decision, she tried to reassure herself. There was no way back.

Lucas didn't sleep the previous night. He had too much to think about and anyway, he had nowhere to go. He had no friends who could provide him a house. He had found some flowers when he was OTG and hoped this would be helpful to reconcile with Alexandra. When he knocked at her door, she didn't answer. He dared to go in and found she wasn't there. He put the flowers on the table and left a note '_We need to talk. I have something very important to tell you. Call me please. I am really sorry. Lucas'_. Lucas couldn't wait for Alexandra to come to him. She was probably somewhere close to his father or Damon, as usual. He ran to the headquarters and was surprised to find Jim Shannon at his father's desk.

"Morning Jim," he nodded. "Where's my father?"

"He's gone."

"Where?"

"To the Badlands."

"Why? I thought he wanted to wait for the portal to be rebuilt before."

"Well, I guess he wanted to find out what was there first." Lucas's eyebrows furrowed. His father and his secret plans. He had tried to develop their father and son bond, but he obviously didn't trust him enough to talk about this mission. Jim probably thought the same as he added, "I think he wanted to tell you."

"Doesn't matter. Actually, I was looking for Alex, not for him."

"Don't you know?" asked Jim, surprised.

"Know what?" he inquired.

"She's gone with him."

Lucas gulped. He should have come back to her last night, he knew it. She was not the kind of girl who would wait thinking that things would get better. She was brave but reckless, she always had been, but she surely had decided to go to the Badland because of what happened last night. She wanted to punish him, to prove to him that she would not do what he wanted anymore. An idea popped up in his mind about what could have helped her to go with his father. He left a bewildered Jim and ran outside.

Skye woke up with a huge headache. When she saw her face in the mirror she winced. Her cheek was a dark red color. She was not going to be able to hide it, even with make-up. She had a day off from the infirmary and decided it would be better for her to stay in. She didn't want to meet Alexandra again, nor Lucas or Josh. Skye decided to clean her house, trying to empty her head by exhausting her body. She sighed when she heard a knock at the door, but didn't go to open the door. She didn't want to see anybody.

"Skye, I know you're there. Open up." It was Lucas.

"Have you talked to Alex last night?" He asked quickly when she eventually opened the door. She nodded. "What did you say to her?" Lucas asked her very seriously.

"Good morning to you too," she sighed. His eyes narrowed as he noticed her bruised cheek.

"What happened to your face?" She winced. "Did the Shannon boy…"

"No, no!" she cut.

"Then who?" She pursed her lips.

"It was Alex." Lucas couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"Alex? My Alex? Are you sure we are talking about the same Alex?" It hurt her more than it should have to hear him say '_My Alex_'.

"Yes."

"Really?" he smirked. "Because the Alex I know is more than calm when it comes to violence."

"Well maybe a bottle of gin could help her to jump to the other side!" she spat.

"What did you say to her?" He was serious again.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" She scoffed, upset now.

"Because she's gone. She left Terra Nova with my father on a suicide mission to the Badlands and I need to know why, ok? So what did you say to her?"

"I…I just told her the truth."

"Which is?" Skye didn't want to be weak in front of Lucas and she didn't know what to say. Her silence made Lucas come closer, eyes tightened, he insisted. "Tell me," he commanded her. She was tired of playing a game, she didn't even know the rules of that game, she leaned to him and kissed him. She felt him stiffen, yet he didn't kiss her back. "What was that?" he said, gently pushing her away. Skye blushed, ashamed.

"Isn't it what you want? You've been flirting with me for the last 2 weeks." Lucas seemed surprised, Skye suddenly felt stupid. Lucas stared at her. Maybe he had done it? He didn't intend to though, it was just fun at the time. It was just a game. Being close to her but never having her, was exciting. He never thought she'd want more. He didn't even know what he wanted or why he had done it. He had acted like a total jerk. Lucas didn't know what to say to Skye. He had always liked to analyze people, to know exactly who they were so he could know how to be with them, how to make them do what he wanted. Deep down, he probably knew Skye enough to know she was going to be his one day if he continued to tease her like he did. Now she had clearly said to him he could have her, he was sure he didn't want it. His life had changed since he had first met her at the Sixer's camp. When Lucas was with the Sixers, Skye's mother was his only link with normal people. She was the closest thing that he had to a mother. He had used Skye and her mother's disease to make her do what he desired. He had admired Skye's strength, the way she managed to be a spy, to lie to his father, he had found a bit of himself in her. Maybe that was all? When he had met Skye, he had found a sister. He had this indescribable need to touch her, to feel she was real. At the time, he couldn't explain why. Then, having Alexandra in his life had made this envy go away. He had found someone he could approach, someone who wanted him to be close. What he was sure of, was that his feelings for Skye and for Alexandra were not the same. And now he had to think about it, to make a decision, he knew that he really had a sisterly love for Skye, nothing more. He loved Alexandra, he was sure of it. It was as if any girl could not interest him, none could impress him, he had eyes for only one, he only wanted one girl, Alexandra.

"Skye," he started to say. Skye froze at her name. He didn't call her Bucket or sister on purpose. He was serious and he wanted her to know it. "I am really sorry if I made you think I wanted more than to just be your brother. I am really sorry if my attitude made you believe I wanted you in another kind of way. I love you like a brother loves his sister." Lucas was weighting every word he said, he didn't want to hurt her, he could see how distressed and ashamed she was as he was talking. Skye was looking down, confused and lost. "I'm sorry," he felt the necessity to add. Lucas observed Skye's face, changing from shame to concern, from concern to sadness, from sadness to worry. Then her face lightened as if she had found an idea, a solution to a big problem.

"It's really strange," she suddenly said after a moment.

"What?"

"I should feel sad or sorry or I don't know… Disappointed. Yet, I feel better."

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes," she chuckled nervously. "I was struggling to analyze my feelings, I was totally lost and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't explain why I wanted to be with you when I was happy with Josh, and now it's all suddenly very clear."

"Is it?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I love you! I do, but as a sister loves her brother. Sometimes… Well most of the time, you get on my my nerves, but I still come back to you because I care for you. Our bond is your father, I love your father as my own." Lucas could feel the tension between them fading away. "Actually, I feel relieved." She smiled, her face reflecting lightness. Lucas was startled by her reaction, he couldn't believe it.

"So…We… We are clear?" He stuttered, unsure.

"Yes, we are," she said, hugging him. "Brother," she whispered. Lucas tightened their embrace. Skye felt much better, she was good in his arms, there was no reason to worry now, she knew exactly why she was embracing him, there was no shame to have, no guilt to feel.

"Sister," he said lightly. Lucas felt relieved too, it felt so good to have solved this problem. It was something he would not have to worry anymore. It was the beginning of a new era for them. Skye broke their embrace, her face suddenly concerned. "What?"

"Alex…"Skye murmured. "I'm so sorry. You and her…"

"Don't worry about that."

"It's all my fault."

"No it's not. I made it happen. It's what I do, I sabotage things," he sighed.

"Don't say that. I'll talk to her when she comes back. I'll persuade her that she has to stay with you." Lucas chuckled darkly. "What?"

"You don't have to do that. It's something I have to do on my own. It's not only you, it's something deeper than you, something older than you. And anyway, last time you tried to talk to her, it didn't end well, did it?" He smiled sadly, caressing her bruised cheek. Skye looked deep into his eyes, he seemed so sad that it saddened her too.

"You love her, don't you?" It was more a statement than a question.

"Does it count anymore?"

"Of course it does! Don't give up so easily, it doesn't sound like you!"

"Maybe it's better that way. Maybe I'm not good enough for her."

"I think you like to pretend to be the bad guy but Alexandra sees the real person you are: a good guy. You know, we don't know who we are until we are connected to someone else. We are just a better human being when we are with the person we are supposed to be with."

"I don't know why she's with me. I only brought her trouble since the day she met me. If I was her I would have left me by now. I would have walked away but somehow instead she always forgave me. Yet, I'm not sure this time she will."

"You cared about her since the first day you met her, you always cared for her, right?"

"Yes, I care. I've changed for her. She never had to subdue me or tame me. This is what she is that made it worked right away. Her way of being, her character, her attitude towards me," he confessed, suddenly even more aware of why he was with her. Saying it out loud was making his thoughts make more sense to his thoughts.

"Why are you acting like the bad guy then?"

"Because I like it. It's in my nature. It's who I am. Do you see the problem I'm having?"

"I think the only problem you have is your obsession with thinking you can't be good. There are many people here who think you have changed, that you are a good person. Just accept it."

"I tried and look what happened!"

"Well she knows you love her. She loves you too. When she comes back she..." She stopped talking at the sight of Lucas' strange face. "You have told her right?"

"Well…"

"Lucas! Honestly? You love her and you never told her?"

"It's not that easy ok?"

"Yes it is! You know what I think? I think you are in denial because you were so afraid of loving her, so afraid of what it would imply for you, that you didn't want to admit it."

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid you might be hurt, afraid to lose her, afraid to change. I know exactly how it feels when you lose the ones you love. You don't want it to happen again so you shut your emotions off."

"Do you love the Shannon boy?" Lucas' question startled Skye.

"His name is Josh," she corrected him. "And yes, I love him."

"Have you told him?"

"No…"

"Why?"

"I'm just waiting for the right time ok? And it's different, our story is different from yours. You can't compare."

"Does he love you?"

"I hope so," she chuckled warily. "He didn't say it though." She seemed to be thinking about it a minute, then she spoke again. "You know what? Maybe it's a boy thing to not say it too early because it means a lot to you."

"What are you gonna do with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"After…what happened last night."

"I won't tell him, I can't. It would destroy him. You won't tell him, will you?"

"No. I won't."

"Thank you."

"Yeah well you're the one who just told me I should not keep secrets from the one I love. Maybe you should tell him."

"I can't do that."

"Alex told me once that people always end up knowing the truth. You don't want him to find out from someone else, do you?"

"Well we are the only one who know. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Might I say that you're wrong? We are not the only one to know." Skye stared at Lucas, worried.

"Do you think she will tell him?" she asked, panicked.

"I doubt that she will do it to hurt him. Yet, I can't be sure she won't tell him to hurt you." Skye gulped at the thought of Alexandra telling it to Josh. It would be bad, very bad. For her, but also for Lucas. And everything was her fault, no matter what Lucas would say to protect her, she knew she was responsible for what had happened. She would have to pay for it one day, she was sure of it.


	30. Daddy's girl

To love-lucas, I reassure you, I would never be tired of reading your great comments! I like to see that someone loves to read my story as much as you do.

To Lexi : You definitely made my day with your review ! Can't explain how proud I was when I read your comment! I'm so glad my story made you write your first review! J Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Merci merci merci!) and I should add that now you have started to write reviews, you can't stop on such a good way!

* * *

><p><strong>Daddy's girl<strong>

The eight soldiers were on their way to the Badlands. They drove most of the day and stopped only at night. Taylor asked Eric and Thomas to build the camp while Cameron and Tim went to find some logs for the fire. He sent Damon and Mark to secure the perimeter. Once they were all gone, he came to talk to Alexandra who was sitting in the car, writing something.

"Inspired?"

"Just writing few things down."

"Yeah I understand that. It helps to write down what's on your mind." He paused, waiting for her to look at him. "Talking helps too," he said, his blue eyes giving her a friendly look. "What made you change your mind?"

"About what?" She asked innocently.

"About going OTG."

"I'm not sure you're the best person to talk to about that."

"It's about Lucas, isn't it?"

"I don't want to talk about this." She said seriously.

"It's not like you to run away from problems. You face it," he insisted.

"Let just say that sometimes you need a break before fixing them."

"I'm sure that whatever he has done wrong, he didn't mean it."

"You seem to have a short memory. Few months ago, you would have never said that kind of statement."

"Few months ago, he would have never decided to stay in Terra Nova, to change, to act like he does today," he stated.

"Why are you defending him? You were the one who wanted him gone at first!" She said upset. Her anger startled Taylor, he was not expecting her to react the way she was.

"Yes, but he is my son and I want what's best for him. You are what's best for him. Maybe you don't see it, but being with you had made him become a better man."

"For God sake, I did nothing," she talked more loudly than she intended, she was upset now. "I never asked him to change. He changed on his own."

"Hey Alex, I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to say that you did well with him. You've done good, sweetheart, you really stepped up. You're the best thing that happened to Lucas. We're all so glad you're around."

"Do we really have to talk about him now?" She sighed. It was clearly not a question. "Can I do something to help the others?"

"Sure. Empty the cars and put the bags in our tents." She didn't wait and stepped out of the car and went to the back to grab the bags. Before Taylor was pretty sure she was here because of Lucas, now he was totally sure. Whatever his son has done, he had probably crossed the line. Alexandra forgave people easily. If she had the need to go away from him, he must have really screwed it up. The camp was soon built, tents set around a fire. Damon and Alexandra were on the first shift. They were sitting in front of the fire when Damon eventually broke the silence.

"What did he do to you?"

"Nothing."

"Alex, it's obviously something important or you would not be here."

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about that." Alexandra had left Terra Nova so she wouldn't have to talk about what happened and in the end it was the opposite.

"Oh come on. That bastard is a jerk. You look upset I can see that. What did he do? Did he hurt you?" Damon was getting furious. He had spent the day thinking about why she was here and anger had grown in him further and further.

"No. He didn't hurt me." She said firmly. "Not physically at least…" She sighed.

"That's it. This moron is dead. I hate this guy. He doesn't deserve you. I should have punched him when I had the opportunity."

"Damon don't. Don't disparage him. I don't need that."

"But you have to see who he really is. This guy is an asshole. He is pretentious and arrogant."

"Yet I can't hear that ok? I'm mad at him but I can't stand having you trashing him out."

"You really got him under your skin, don't you?"

"How could that be different? I love him Damon! I love him! That can't go away in a minute. I just need time to adjust my feelings ok?" Yes, she knew she was still in love with Lucas, even if she shouldn't be. Her heart was begging her to forgive him but her head was commanding her to stop being stupid. She had to stop loving him, it was too painful. Damon didn't answer, glaring at the fire. Suddenly he stood up and walked into the jungle. "Damon!" As he kept walking, Alexandra stood up and ran after him. She followed his tracks and eventually found him in a small meadow. Damon was pacing around, his hands on his hips, mumbling inaudible things to himself, trying to calm down.

"Damon?" Alexandra didn't know what to do. He turned to face her, his eyes reflecting determination.

"You need to know that some people care for you. I care for you. You know that right?"

"Yes," she replied, uncertain where he was headed.

"There are things you need to hear, to know, so you can make good decisions." Alexandra was really worried now, she was afraid to already know what he was about to say and she didn't want to hear it.

"I love you Alex," he said firmly, his blue eyes stuck into hers.

"No," she whispered, stunned.

"Yes I do. I love you." He confirmed.

"No, no, no," she started to murmur, shaking her head.

"Alex I…"

"No, I'm not listening. I can't hear you," she said, putting her palms over her ears, starting to walk away. Damon quickly stepped towards her and grabbed her wrist. Her eyes were haggard.

"No, you stay here. You have to listen to me." Alexandra stayed still, pursing her lips in stress. "I love you," he repeated, cupping her face with his hands. "I love you," he whispered gently, Then he leaned to her and kissed her. She stiffened in surprise. His kiss was tender, sweet and at the same time fiery and passionate. She let him kiss her, yet she didn't kiss him back. She didn't want to push him away, she didn't want to hurt him. It was good to be kissed by him, but she didn't want to cross that line with him, it didn't feel right. He reopened his eyes, inches away from her face, and looked at her intensely, wondering what she was thinking, what she was feeling. As she didn't say a single word, he slowly took his hands off of her and took a step back. Alexandra was not expecting him to behave like that. She stared at him bewildered, her mouth slightly agape. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her breathing was rapid. Her hand reached her lips, her fingers touching them, their warmth proving to her that it had really happened, Damon had kissed her. She shook her head in disbelief, her gaze going from the ground, to him, to the jungle then back to him. She didn't know where to look, she was lost, her mind was a mix of emotions, if she could have disappeared she would have done it. She wanted to cry and at the same time there was no reason for it. Damon was getting embarrassed, he didn't know what to expect when he had kissed her but he had expected her to actually do or say something. Her silence was becoming heavier every second. "Alex?" She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Actually, she didn't know what to say. "Alex, say something please," he begged her.

"I'm sorry," she spluttered. She didn't know what else to say. Sorry was the first word she had thought about.

"Sorry?" He asked, arching his eyebrows. She winced speechlessly, shrugging. He stared at her dubiously and sighed loudly. "Ok, I see why you're sorry," he sighed, vexed. He shook his head, disappointed and walked away. Alexandra's heart clenched in her chest, she didn't want to lose him, she couldn't let him go just like that. She ran behind him, went past him and stopped once she was in front of him, stopping him at the same time with her palms on his chest, her eyes begging him for forgiveness. She slowly put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. Damon couldn't resist and wrapped her in his arms, comforting her. "I wish you could forget him," he whispered sadly into her ears, "I wish you could change your mind". It was so sincere that it hurt her. He felt her body tense then move lightly. She was sobbing in silence, he could feel the tears running from her cheeks to his neck. It made him tighten his embrace. After a moment, he took her shoulders and slowly pushed her away from him. She wiped the tears away, her cheeks red from the crying. "I want what's best for you. I don't want you to be sad Alex. I want you to be as chirpy as before."

"I know," she said in a cracked voice. "It's just… Everything I know is falling apart. I need time on my own to figure out what I want, what I need. There's only one thing I'm sure about, one thing I'm sure I need, it's you as my friend. This is all I'm asking you. Just stay the same, please."

"I'm here, I'm your friend. Never doubt it."

"Forever?" She asked hopefully.

"Forever," he stated, sure of himself.

They spent the next days acting like before and Alexandra was really grateful Damon kept his promise. He was a really good friend to her, the best she never had. It took them 6 days to reach the Badlands. The area was deserted, dark and cold. Alexandra was standing at the top of a hill with Taylor and Damon. Mark had gone down to see what was in front of them with the binoculars. Eric, Thomas, Cameron and Tim went in the opposite direction and were waiting for orders.

"Unbelievable," they heard Mark said through the walkie-talkie.

"What is it soldier?" Taylor asked.

"Commander, I can see there are 2 people ahead."

"Show us." They all looked at the plex to see what Mark had seen. Indeed, there were two people, adults around 50-55 years old in a cave, pacing. They could see that the cave had been rearranged so that they could live in it. They looked in good health, maybe tired, but not ill. Alexandra's eyes tightened as she tried to see their faces better. Suddenly she felt her heart flinch. She slowly walked back, hardly breathing, and she started to run to Mark. Taylor heard somebody leaving them and quickly turned his head, looking behind him to find that Alexandra was gone. "Alex!" he screamed. She ran faster than ever, she reached Mark in a minute and grabbed his binoculars to see what she had seen on the plex. Her heart was punching her chest, she couldn't catch her breath.

"Alex! What are you doing here?" Mark asked, worried. Alexandra didn't hear him, it was like he wasn't here. She left him behind and ran to the cave.

"Mark, what's going on?" Taylor yelled trough the walkie-talkie.

"I don't know sir, she's gone, she's gone!" Mark replied quickly.

"Damn it," Taylor spat. "Show us now!" he urged him. Taylor and Damon watched Alexandra run down the hill, cross the stream and go inside the cave. Damon didn't wait for Taylor and ran to Mark's position. Taylor followed him minutes after. Damon took the binoculars to see where Alexandra was.

"What the hell is going on?" Taylor asked as he arrived to them.

"I don't understand, I really don't." Mark said, shaking his head. Damon was paling, speechless, as he was watching in direction of the cave. Taylor understood why when he looked into the binoculars. Alexandra was in the people's arms, embracing them. When Alexandra had seen the people on the plex, she hardly believed it. She had to be sure it was them. She had felt the necessity to run to Mark and see them better. What she had seen in the binoculars had proved to her she was right. It should be impossible but nothing in here seemed to be impossible anymore. Once she had been sure of who those people over there were, she couldn't wait and had run to meet them. When she had entered in the cave and had called them, she had felt relieved when they had turned back to her and had smiled to her. Taylor was wondering what to do when they saw Alexandra coming out the cave. She waved in their direction.

"You can come. There's nothing to worry about here." She screamed. They all looked at each other and nodded, agreeing to go down. Taylor made them stop in front of the stream, Alexandra was standing the other side, gathered by the man and the woman they had seen earlier on the plex.

"Girl, you owe me a good explanation." Taylor warned her. Alexandra beamed at him, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Commander Taylor, let me introduce you to Charles and Alice, my parents."

Mark and Damon opened their mouth, both were speechless, again.

"Your… Your parents?" Taylor asked in disbelief.

"Yes, her parents," her father said. "I'm Charles, nice to meet you sir," he stepped to him and shook his hand. "And this is my wife, Alice." He gestured to her and she greeted him. "I assume we have a long story to tell you," he smiled.

"Indeed…" Taylor managed to reply as he watched the three people in front of him. It was amazing to see the similarities between Alexandra and her mother. Alice was just Alexandra but older, or actually, Alexandra was probably Alice when she was younger, dark blond hair with few grey strands and big blue eyes reflected kindness. In any case, it was obvious that they were family. It was a whole different story with Charles. He was tall with medium length dark curly hair, slightly grey on the temples, his eyes were dark and somber grey. His voice was warm but his attitude gave away he was a cold person. Taylor agreed to bring Alexandra's parents back with them. It took them 6 more days to get back to Terra Nova. They had had plenty of time to explain how and why they had arrived in the Badlands. They told them that one day, back in 2005, they created the first time travel machine ever made. They walked into it and ended up in the Badlands. Stuck there. Unfortunately, a military group arrived less than an hour after them. They were called the Phoenix Group and sent by Hope Plaza from 2149. At first, they had not understood how, but then they had realized a scientist had restored their calculations and made a new portal with better technology. Then, with the same time setting as them, he had sent soldiers into the portal. They had been kept as prisoners, forced to work for them. When they had heard somebody had destroyed the portal at Hope Plaza, the soldiers had asked them to build another one. They had thought it would work but actually, they just had made a way in and not a way out. Their calculations had been wrong.

"And this is why you are probably here Alex," her mother added. "I guess we have created a portal in our house with a way into the jungle instead of the opposite."

"It doesn't matter. We are together now and you'll be safe in Terra Nova. Commander Taylor will protect you." Alexandra said looking at Taylor, begging him to confirm it. Taylor nodded, yet he didn't swear it.

"So you've been there for 7 years, have you ever met this scientist who built the portal?" Taylor asked. Alexandra glanced quickly at Taylor. What did he want to know exactly?

"I don't think so," replied Charles after few minutes. "But you know, we haven't seen many people in 7 years, only soldiers for the food and to ask us if our work was finished."

"Why were you alone when we found you?" Taylor asked, suspicious now.

"Well; about 6 months ago now, after we failed with the portal, they moved, leaving us here. We stayed here, we didn't know where else to go."

"Well, you'll be safe with us in Terra Nova. I'm sure your daughter will welcome you in her house. You'll see, it's a peaceful colony, you'll be fine there," Taylor informed them. He had a lot on his mind. He wanted to believe them, for Alexandra's sake. But he couldn't trust them so easily. It might have been instinct or a sixth sense, he didn't know how to explain it, but something seemed wrong. Something was strange in their story, a piece of the puzzle was missing and he had to find out what it was. Till then, he would treat them as his guests, but he would keep an eye on them.

Taylor's suspicion didn't stay unnoticed by Alexandra. She knew Taylor was doing more than just his work. It was obvious he had something in mind, some information she didn't have and she'd have to find out what it was. She would eventually find out, until then, she would enjoy having her parents back in her life. Having them with her was bringing back old memories that she had buried deep inside, to protect her, to avoid the pain of their absence. It was a strange feeling and she hoped it was a good one, but she was not totally sure. It was like her memory had erase some information about her childhood with them and that suddenly their presence had brought it back to her. She shook her head to wipe her dark thoughts away, she should be grateful to have found them. 'Actually _I should thank Skye and Lucas for that_,' she chuckled sarcastically in her mind. Lucas would have reminded her that life was about choices, Alexandra liked to think that it was, once again, about destiny. Yes, it was meant to happen. She didn't know why yet, but she had to accept this gift and it was exactly what she was going to do.

* * *

><p>Ok so, Damon told Alex he loves her. I guess we all knew that he would one day! Just when Alex was trying to figure out what she's going to do with Lucas, I'm not sure it was the good time, was it? I wonder what Lucas will think about it… I guess we'll find out soon!<p>

And what about Alexandra's parents? I know you think, what the hell? Twisted isn't it? Just be sure there is a reason for that. There always is! I guess Taylor might have a pretty idea about it. We'll see!

Let me know what you think about it!

By the way, I think I've never told you but I wrote most of my chapters listening music. So I think I will give you part of some songs at the end of few chapters, so hopefully it would help you to 'feel' the text! I hope you'll like it.


	31. Stay with me

**Stay with me**

"So, I heard you found people out there?" Lucas casually asked Damon who was staring away.

"Not people, Alex's parents," he softly murmured. Lucas turned his head to see where Damon was gazing and saw Alexandra, against the wall, arms folded, waiting for something or someone. Lucas hesitated, not sure what to do but in the end he couldn't wait and walked over to her. He had spent the last 12 days waiting for her to come back, he couldn't wait anymore. She gave him a quick glance as he approached and looked in the other direction, annoyed.

"Damon told me you found your parents?" She didn't answer. Even with the last two weeks away from him, she realized she was still mad at him. "You must be happy. It's really good news…" She shook her head, pursing her lips.

"Honestly? Lucas, do you really think that because I found my parents I'm going to forget what happened the last time I saw you?" She harshly replied. Lucas was not optimistic enough to have thought she would be kind to him, of course. But it surprised him to see how hurt and angry she still was.

"I wanted to talk to you at the time but you ran away. How could I even have a chance to explain it to you?" His voice was louder now, louder than he intended it to be. He could feel anger growing in him but he knew he had to stay cool or the situation was going to be worse.

"I told you I didn't want you to explain. I haven't changed my mind," she spat, staring away.

"You can't just decide to not talk to me forever," he grabbed her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him "Hey, look at me when I talk to you!" He was shouting now and it was not helping him, Alexandra was glaring at him, lips pursed.

"Alexandra?" It was Dr Shannon her eyes were showing her worry. "You can come now." Dr Shannon wasn't sure why they were arguing, but she didn't trust Lucas enough to contain his anger when he was in a bad mood, even with Alexandra. She knew he had spent the last days waiting for her to come back and she also knew he had not been in a good mood since then. Lucas dropped her chin and let her go. He gave Dr Shannon a furious look and walked away. He'd have to wait for her. She will not get away with it. She had to listen to him, one way or another. Alexandra entered the room she was staring at earlier. Her parents were lying on beds.

"Are you okay mum?" She asked her, concerned.

"We are fine," she reassured her.

"Your parents have to stay here for the night," Dr Shannon told her. "It's just a check-up routine. There is nothing to worry about. You should go back to your house, have some sleep. You look exhausted."

"No, I'm fine. I want to stay with them." She replied, looking fondly at them.

"Alex, sweetheart," her mother said. "We'll be fine here. Go and have some rest. We'll see you tomorrow. We are not going anywhere now we are together." Alexandra lightly smiled, she knew her mother was right but she had missed them during the past 7 years and she had suddenly spent the last 6 days with them. It was strange to leave them again.

"They are going to be fine, I swear to you," Dr Shannon smiled warmly at her.

"I know, it's just…"

"I know," her mother cut her, standing up and embracing her. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too," she whispered before stepping back from her. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then. Good night daddy, good night mummy." Alexandra went back home and found the withered flowers with the note from Lucas. She threw the flowers in the bin and read the note again. 'We need to talk. I have something important to tell you'.

"Well, not now," she mumbled to herself. She was not ready to go to bed and decided to go outside, a walk would help her, she had too much on her mind to sleep anyway. She thought she would think about her parents, but actually, the only person she had in mind was Lucas. He had nearly lost his temper earlier. It had been a long time since she had seen him like that. Usually, he knew how to contain his anger when he was with her. As she walked, lost in her mind, she didn't notice she had arrived to the cemetery. She stared at the graves and sighed. It saddened her to be there. She turned to go back home and uttered a little scream.

"Oh my god Lucas you scared me!" she exhaled, her hand on her chest.

"Sorry, I didn't intend to," he said seriously. He walked to her and stopped inches from her. "I think about her too," he confessed, looking behind her in the direction of the cemetery.

"She would have been born by now," Alexandra said thoughtfully.

"Things would be different," Lucas said sadly.

"Yeah, very different," she sighed. "Why are you here?" Her eyes narrowed, suddenly suspicious. "You've been following me?"

"Yes." His sudden honesty startled her. His green eyes were locked into hers. "Look, I'm sorry. I should have not yelled at you earlier," he started to say.

"Yeah well it's ok," she said, rubbing her face with her hands. "I was a little bit nervous."

"Then we are ok, aren't we?" he asked hopefully.

"About this, yes. For the rest, it's another story," she said softly, her eyes looking down at the ground.

"I really fucked it up this time, didn't I?" He winced. She didn't reply. She didn't want to meet his gaze, she didn't want to see him looking sorry, she was too afraid that she might forgive him. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "What?"

"Nothing. There's nothing to say," she murmured, her gaze locked on the fence now. She was desperately looking for something to look at, anything would be better than looking at Lucas.

"We obviously have something we need to discuss," he said firmly, yet nicely.

"Not a good time," she stated, ready to leave.

"Well you disappeared for two weeks so I think you have had enough time to think about what you wanted to say to me," Lucas said harshly. He didn't like it when Alexandra didn't want to talk to him or to look at him. She was a talkative person, when she was silent, there was a problem. He was trying to keep calm but he was fuming inside.

"I guess you had plenty of time to think too," she replied quickly, upset now, glaring at him. "I'm not the guilty one here, don't reverse our roles."

"Well I don't know that do I?" Alexandra stared at him in disbelief. "How can I know what happened when you were away?" Was he really implying what she thought he was? She was bewildered.

"What? Are you on the Damon jealousy point again?" She couldn't believe he was accusing her. "I'm not the one who cheated on the other!"

"You don't deny it," he stated, furious.

"You're stupid! Who do you think I am? I'm not that mean."

"So you deny it?"

"Of course I deny it! What's wrong with you?" She was furious he could think such a thing about her. Lucas stayed quiet a moment before to speak again.

"I… I don't know. I haven't been myself since you left," he confessed. Alexandra looked at him with sadness.

"I have to go," she stated.

"Let me go home with you," Lucas said, his voice low and almost pleading. It hurt Alexandra inside to see Lucas saying something that was so contrary to his normal personality. Or was she seeing Lucas' true nature? Was his flash and assurance something he'd assumed, like another skin over the years?

"No," she said, as desperate as Lucas was, but in her own way. She just wanted him to be quiet and strong. "You are not coming back home with me. You never told me about… her. You lied to me, you hurt me and it has to stop."

"I didn't want you to worry about it. I didn't want you to be jealous when there was nothing to be jealous of."

"Don't you dare say that! The way you call her Bucket, like she's your Bucket, it sounds creepy. I would have had every reason to be jealous! You kissed her!"

"No, she kissed me!"

"You kissed her back! I saw you!"

"It was a reflex! I didn't intend to!"

"Bullshit! If I had kissed Damon he would be dead by now!" Lucas seemed to think about it and a smile started to spread on his face.

"Well I saw Skye's face, you didn't kill her yet you did a good job!"

"She deserved it..." She mumbled to herself. "Hey don't you change the subject. We are talking about you here!"

"Alex," he said, steeping closer to her, his eyes begging her to stay with him.

"What?" She spat, annoyed, folding her arms on her chest.

"I love you," he said softly, his beautiful green eyes boring into hers. She looked at him, startled. She stared at him, speechless, her eyes reflecting sadness mixed with disbelief. She tried to find out if he was lying to her, but she only saw truth in his eyes. She felt tears coming. Why now? Why was he saying this to her now? After he had cheated on her? Why was he finally saying what she always wanted to hear after having deceived her? Lucas was confused, not sure of what he had just said. He had thought about saying it, but now, hearing it was strange for him, above all in those circumstances. "Please Alex, say something," he begged her.

"You know what's funny? When you saved me from the attack of the Sixers, I told your father that I didn't know why you had saved me. I had an idea but I was not pretentious enough to say it. Your father said it was because you loved me. It's funny huh? Because actually, you never said it, ever. I'm confused now. It's a little too late, isn't it? I told you I loved you months ago and this is how long it took you to realize you loved me too? When I said I loved you, you didn't say it in return. I didn't know if it was because you didn't know how to say it or because you didn't love me. But then, I thought that, you, staying here, with me, with your father and all, was enough of a proof of how much you loved me. I was stupidly wrong. When you can't put in words what you feel or what you think, then there must be a problem. Love should be easy to live. With you, it's always complicated. I'm not asking that much. You know, every time you made a bad decision, I always forgave you, even if your decisions always ended badly for me. I always ended hurt, physically hurt. But this time, you hurt me, not in my flesh but in my heart, in my soul. And this is the most important mistake you've ever made."

"I've been stupid."

"No. You're smart, a genius actually. You don't love me, you love the idea of it. Love and be loved, it sounds great. I spent all my time on you, helping you and caring about you. I lost myself living just for you. Every action I made, every word I said, it was always for you. I don't want to deal with your existential crisis right now. I'm gonna be a little bit selfish for now on. I have my parents back in my life and I'm gonna focus on that."

"I know I deceived you, but I'm not a genius when it comes to people, you know that."

"You and I, it's not gonna work. Even though I hate to admit it, I knew something was up between you and Skye. Maybe you should be with her, you're both really similar. You fight together all the time and so what? Maybe it's what passion is about. Maybe she is your soul mate, maybe you're made for each other. I don't know," she sighed. "I lied to myself, I always knew there was something between you and Skye. I didn't know what, but something I couldn't put my finger on. Part of me wanted to know, the other didn't. I'm good when it comes to lie to myself. You and I, we had something but with her, it's different, you are different. Like if you are sharing a secret. A private place where I'm not invited in." Lucas' heart clenched when she said that they '_had_' something. He didn't like the way their conversation was headed. She took a deep breath and continued. "What I'm sure about, is that you would have not think of her the way you did if there was nothing."

"I don't want her. It's you that I want!" He grabbed her arms, pulling her against him. "She means nothing to me!"

"She means something to you. You just don't know what. I think you never told me about Skye because you have feelings for her. There's something about her you kept secret and only you know what that is. You have to solve this."

"I swear there is nothing between me and Skye, I swear to you. You have to believe me, tell me you believe me!"

"How did I make myself forget for so long that you're such a liar? My subconscious was trying to tell me you could never get through this without lying." She shook her head in disappointment.

"It was a one-time thing." He pleaded.

"You and her, kissing each other, it's printed in my memory."

"I didn't want to lie to you! I just didn't know what to say!"

"It's not about the lies, Lucas. It's about what they mean."

"I was scared because I didn't know what it was, I didn't know how to deal with it."

"No. You don't lie because you're scared. You lie so you won't feel pain. Everything you've ever done is to avoid pain. Lies, sarcasm... Keeping everybody at arm's length so no one can hurt you."

"As opposed to everyone else in the world who goes looking for pain like it's buried treasure?" He said with sarcasm.

"Pain happens when you care. You can't love someone without making yourself open to their problems, their fears. And you're not willing to do that. In the end, you don't know me at all if you thought I couldn't understand, that I couldn't help."

"I… I stayed to be with you." He stammered.

"But you weren't with me, not really."

"I wanted to be."

"That's not enough."

"Please, don't hate me!"

"I don't hate you, it's just… I… I don't wanna love you anymore. This love brought me too many troubles, it's too painful."

"I can do better."

"I don't think you can." She stated coldly. "You'll choose yourself over everybody else over and over again, because that's just who you are. You're not the same anymore, you're not the man I used to know. The Lucas I fell in love with, he would have never betrayed me like you did, never." She could feel tears coming to her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No. No, no, no. Don't. Don't!" He begged her, realizing why she was sorry for.

"I thought I could do this."

"Don't. Please don't." He cried. Lucas couldn't believe what was going on. His worst nightmare was happening. He was losing her because of his nature. He was appalled, couldn't find his words, he didn't know what to say. It was totally unusual for him to be speechless. She stepped closer to him, tears running on her cheeks.

"I have a pretty good memory and right now, when I look at you, all I can see, it's her, on you. I can't do it, it has to stop. I'm done." Her voice was slightly shaking because of anger, sadness, exhaustion and nervousness, but she knew she had made the good decision. Lucas had hurt her too much, he had to stop. If being away from him was the price to pay, she would do it. Even if deep down it reopened the grief she had shut off during her trip to the Badlands, even if she had the feeling she could feel her heart bleeding of pain, even if she still had feelings for him, she had to protect herself, to do what was best for her, even if she was sure it would have bad consequences. She left him alone in the cemetery and walked back home, back to her home, back to her life. Everything Lucas was sure of had melted away. His theory about love was wrong. Life was always unexpected, not like science. He was a brilliant scientist but in life, he was just a novice. Knowing what his feelings for her were was useless if she didn't want to accept them, if she was not sharing them anymore. Lucas was smart, confident and had always been a step ahead everybody, yet right now he felt utterly stupid and he didn't like it. Lucas had tried to be a better man, another man. He had lost himself playing somebody else. He was furious for having been so weak. It would not happen again, he would not let his feelings get him so tortured, he would put his life back on track and do what he was made to do : smart moves, have genius ideas and use his brilliant mind to fulfill his plans.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Lucas' part

_"Let me apologize to begin with. Let me apologize for what I'm about to say but trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed and somehow I got caught up in between. Let me apologize to begin with. Let me apologize for what I'm about to say but trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed and somehow I got caught up in between. Between my pride and my promise, between my lies and how the truth gets in the way and things I want to say to you get lost before they come, the only thing that's worse than one is none. Let me apologize to begin with. Let me apologize for what I'm about to say but trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed and somehow I got caught up in between. And I cannot explain to you, and anything I say or do or plan. Fear is not afraid of you but guilt's a language you can understand. I cannot explain to you and anything I say or do, I hope the actions speak the words they can." In between - Linkin Park_

Alex's part

"_There's a fire starting in my heart. Reaching a fever pitch and its bringing me out the dark. The scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love they leave me breathless. I can't help feeling, we could have had it all. Rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside of your hand and you played it to the beat." Rolling in the deep - Adele_

* * *

><p>So, what do you reckon, huh? Alex did the right thing, didn't she? Love is so complicated sometimes. Can a single Lucas stay in Terra Nova? I'm not really sure… And I just realized after I post this chapter that actually Lucas has not said he was sorry for his attitude! This guy should really learn how to say the important things when he has to. Can't wait for your opinion! Theories are welcomed!<p> 


	32. The world is small

**The world is small**

Lucas was working at the lab when Skye came to see him.

"How did it go?" She asked eagerly, worried.

"Nowhere," Lucas replied somberly, not looking at her.

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "What did you say to her?"

"I told her I loved her."

"What did she say?"

"She said it was too late."

"There must be something you can do or say to change her mind," she asked herself and started pacing.

"She made it clear."

"Did you tell her you were sorry?" He stayed quiet, thinking. Actually, he had not. He had lost every word he wanted to say when he had seen her. Yet, he had had two weeks to think about what he should say to her, seeing her again had brought back all the anguish he had felt when she had left him. He resented her so much for having left without saying anything.

"No," he sighed, looking at her now. "She said it though."

"She said she was sorry?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"For leaving me."

"Lucas honestly, you are really bad when it comes to expressing yourself!" She said, giving him a roasting. "You should have said it! Isn't it obvious?"

"She didn't want to hear what I had to say anyway. She had made up her mind before I even tried to talk to her."

"Lucas…" She sighed, shaking her head. "You are so so so wrong. You must do something, you can't give up so easily. The Lucas I know is always doing what he has to do to have what he wants."

"What should I do then?" He asked, annoyed. He didn't like to ask for help but obviously he would need some to get Alexandra back.

The urge to see her parents made Alexandra wake up at 6. She quickly realized it was a little bit too early to go and see them, so she took the time to have a shower and a proper breakfast. Yet, it was only 6:30 and she was ready.

"Never mind," she convinced herself, grabbing her gun and tying it to her belt. She left the house, trying not to run, yet she walked so quickly that she was at the infirmary in less than 5 minutes. When she arrived, she saw Taylor was already there. He was talking with Dr Shannon, outside her parent's room. She felt disappointed not being the first, then his presence worried her.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked quickly, concerned.

"Good morning to you too Alex," Taylor said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Sorry. Good morning commander. So, is there?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. I just explained to your parents what their lives are going to be."

"And their lives are going to be…?"

"Well, as scientists, your parents proposed to us to work in the lab and help with the actual projects." Alexandra felt a knot forming in her stomach. Her parents were already back to work and it saddened her. It reminded her that they were working a lot when she was younger, she felt stupid to have imagined that time would have changed them.

"Are they going to work on the portal too?"

"Yes, actually, I told them they are going to meet Malcolm and Lucas. Malcolm is OTG but Lucas should be at the lab. Can you go and bring him back here?"

"Can't you do it yourself?" She winced. She regretted her words immediately. It felt right when she thought about saying it but it sounded really rude in her mouth. Dr Shannon and Taylor starred at her in disbelief. "Or… Can't you call him?" She grimaced, trying to sound more respectful.

"Go and bring him back, please," he commanded her firmly, yet politely. Alexandra sighed loudly to express her annoyance and left them. She walked to the lab, shambling. She didn't want to see Lucas after what had happened the night before, she was not ready to talk to him again. As she reached Lucas' lab, she suddenly stopped. Through the window of the lab, she could see Lucas and Skye talking. Skye was apparently explaining something to him, sat on his desk, while he was sitting on his chair in front of her, listening carefully. Alexandra felt her heart flinch. She stayed for a minute staring at them, then Lucas turned his head and noticed her. At the sight of his face, he was surprised. He stood up quickly and Skye did the same, her face reflecting fright. Alexandra glanced at the ground, recomposing her face. She didn't want him to see how distressed she was. Lucas didn't know what to do when he saw Alexandra in the hall. He quickly thought about what she could think, seeing him and Skye together in his lab. And that he thought it could not be worse! Alexandra took all the courage she got and opened the door. She didn't look at Skye, she knew it would upset her more than she already was.

"Your father wants you to come to the infirmary," she said coldly.

"Sure," Lucas nodded immediately. Alexandra spun quickly and started to walk away, followed by a bemused Lucas.

"Why?" He asked after a moment.

"Can you be more explicit?" She asked him, not turning her head to face him.

"Why my father wants to see me at the lab?"

"He wants you to meet my parents," she sighed with annoyance. He walked faster and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Why?" He asked firmly, suspicious. She glared at him and looked at his hand, tightly gripped on her arm. He realized how much he was hurting her and slowly let her go, a red mark appearing on her arm. He gulped, embarrassed. She cleared her throat and exhaled quietly.

"I don't know why. I guess you'll find out soon." She turned and walked in the direction of the infirmary, rubbing her arm. Lucas followed her in silence, still ashamed of his previous attitude. When they arrived at her parent's room, Taylor asked them to stay outside for a minute while Dr Shannon was giving them their last medicines.

"Then they're free to go." Taylor said. Then his walkie-talkie rang and he left them to talk to his interlocutor. Alexandra was waiting with Lucas outside her parent's room, both sat on a chair. She felt uncomfortable being so close to him and she could feel his eyes boring into her.

"What?" She snapped, annoyed, without looking at him.

"Nothing," he smiled, looking away too, his eyes narrowing as he suppressed a laugh.

"You were looking at me," she stated.

"No, it's just the way my eyes were pointing." She rolled her eyes in annoyance, suppressing a smile. It made Lucas chuckle. He knew his sense of humor would be his best asset to conquer her.

"Yeah well point them somewhere else."

"Yes M'am."

"What is taking so long?" She asked out loud to herself, standing up.

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

"You don't know that."

"Right, I don't. But I'm sure there's nothing."

"Stop talking please, you're not helping," she gestured to him with her hand, stomping. The door eventually opened and Dr Shannon came out.

"Where's Taylor?" She asked them, looking around. Lucas pointed his finger in his father's direction as an answer. "Ok, we'll wait for him then."

"Can I see them first?" Alexandra asked quickly.

"Sure." Alexandra walked into the room and shut the door behind her. Dr Shannon stayed with Lucas, it was the first time she was alone with him. She sat next to him.

"So, how are you doing Lucas?" Lucas' eyes narrowed.

"Fine," he smiled, suspicious.

"How things are going between you and Alex?" She asked in a light tone.

"I don't want to be rude but, why do you feel concerned?"

"I don't want to interfere in your life, but I consider Alex to be a member of my family, and the way you acted with her yesterday does concern me."

"We had a… kind of disagreement."

"On what?"

"You are really curious aren't you?" He chuckled.

"I know you two are having problems. Maybe I can help."

"Problems? Who told you that?" He didn't like the idea of people talking about them. Didn't they have other things to do?

"People are talking Lucas. Some of them think you shouldn't be here, some others think you don't deserve Alex. To be honest, I like you and… I think you're a good man," she confessed. "I think there's something really strong between you and her. I can't explain what it is, but I can see it and I just hope it's not going to make you have extreme reactions." Lucas looked intensely at her. She really seemed to care for her, for them. It was really strange. She was the first 'real' adult he was talking to. Skye was not really an adult and their past was quite complicated. His father, well, he was his father, he would never talk about this with him.

"Is it what happened between you and the sheriff?" Dr Shannon was surprised by his question, yet, she thought he would understand what she wanted to tell him.

"Actually, yes. We had problems in the past, we've been separated, we argued, we hurt each other, people told me to forget him, but in the end, we ended back together, because we belong with each other." Lucas was amazed to see how sure of herself she was. He softened his attitude.

"Dr Shannon, I appreciate your concern, but I'm not going to have an extreme reaction and I won't hurt her, if that's what worries you."

"Lucas, I know you love her and I'm sure you want what's best for her. My advice : give her some time."

"How do you know it's gonna help?"

"Because love always wins in the end," she smiled truthfully.

While Lucas and Dr Shannon were chatting outside the room, Alexandra was having a discussion with her parents.

"Hi mum! Dad," she smiled at them. She felt so relieved to see them again. She knew she was stupid to think something could have happened to them but it was just how she felt the whole night. "Sleep well?"

"Hospital's beds," her mother joked lightly, wincing.

"I know!" She said truthfully.

"How do you know?" His father asked her.

"Huh… I don't. I mean, it was just an expression, you know… Everybody knows hospital's beds aren't good." Her father nodded but she was sure he knew it was not the total truth.

"I still can't get used to it," her mother sighed.

"What?"

"You, having a gun. It's a little bit too extreme no?"

"Mum, have you seen the soldiers that we are fighting with?"

"They aren't there anymore."

"They are, we just don't know where yet."

"Aren't you a little bit too young for that anyway?"

"I'm 22."

"That's what I mean."

"Mum…" She sighed, annoyed. "I'm not 14 anymore. I'm an adult now, remember?"

"Can we get in now?" Taylor asked from behind her. He had opened the door, only his head was visible.

"Yes commander," her father answered quickly. Taylor and Lucas entered in the room and Alexandra noticed immediately Lucas' reaction when his gaze met her parents. He was startled, yet his confusion faded in a second, his face becoming expressionless. Alexandra looked quickly to see her father smiling. Smiling too much, almost proudly. She stared at them, lost. What was that?

"Charles, Alice, let me introduce you to my son, Lucas."

"Nice to meet you," Charles said, shaking his hand, grinning.

"You too," Lucas replied in a casual tone, shaking Charles' hand, then Alice's hand.

"I've heard a lot of great things about you," Charles started to say. "I think we are gonna do a good work together!"

"I'm sure we will," Lucas stated, tilting his head, his eyes scrutinizing the people in front of him.

"I'm looking forward to it," Charles added. Alexandra looked at her mother, she seemed embarrassed. Alice was like her daughter, not a really good liar. Something was obviously annoying her but Alexandra couldn't find out what it was. There was no reason for that, except the fact that she was going to work in the lab maybe. She really didn't know what it was and an alarm set in her mind, warning her something was wrong. Taylor, Lucas and her parents continued talking about what they were going to do during a moment. Taylor had brought some clothes for her parents, they all agree they would live at Alexandra's house. They scheduled their first day of work at the lab for the next day. Today, they would visit the colony with Alexandra. They were all leaving the infirmary when Alexandra caught the good opportunity, grabbed Lucas' arm and stopped him from getting out the building.

"I haven't told my parents what happened between us and I won't," she whispered.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" He spat harshly through gritted teeth. His reaction surprised her.

"No, it's just…" She started to say.

"What's good for me saying it to them huh? What do I get out of telling them?" He roared. He was at the edge of losing his temper. Alexandra's eyes widened in shock.

"Ok, sorry. I just wanted to be sure we were okay."

"We are. It's like nothing happened," he said coldly, before leaving her. She stayed alone in the corridor, speechless. Maybe she had been rude with him, asking him such a thing? Yet, his reaction was a little bit extreme, wasn't it? She tried to forget about what had just happened and ran after her parents. She spent the day showing them her house, the market, Boylan's bar… the whole colony, except the lab. She didn't want to meet Lucas and she was sure her father would have stayed there. At the end of the day, her mother wanted to cook a good dinner for their first evening together and asked Alexandra to go and buy more fruits from the market. Alexandra went to the market and bought a dozen pieces of fruit that she put inside her backpack. She was headed back home when she saw Lucas walking towards his father's headquarter fast, his face reflecting determination. She stopped him at the bottom of the stairs, arms folded on her chest.

"What's wrong?" She asked him directly. He looked at her, annoyance clearly visible on his face.

"What do you mean?" He sighed, looking away.

"I saw the way you looked at my parents. What is it?" She claimed, tilting her head so he would be forced to look at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. I have to go, my father is waiting for me." He didn't leave her time to reply, he was already gone, pushing her on his way.

"I know you are," she mumbled to herself, hurt by his reaction. Lucas could feel her eyes boring into her back.

Taylor and Damon were in the headquarters. Taylor had expressed his interrogations and theories about Alexandra's parents to Damon. They both agreed that something was suspicious.

"I observed them since we found them. Alice seemed to be a truly lively person, yet she is very shy. I suspect she reserved her reactions because of her husband. Charles is a really intrusive person. He controls everything and his obsession about the portal is really creepy. He nearly reminds me of someone we both know…" Damon drawled.

"Yes I know. But I'm more concerned by his fake kindness and interest for us. He is lying, I don't trust him. It's too good to be true, it can't be a coincidence."

"They are both hiding something, we must find out what this is," Damon sighed.

"I know exactly what they are hiding," a voice from behind replied. They both turned to see Lucas, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed. He must have been there for a while, but they had not noticed him. "And I can assure you that their presence does not bode well…" He warned them. They stared at him, worried, yet eager to know more.

* * *

><p>So? I'm listening! Who are they? What's your theory? Hehe, the answer in the next chapter!<p> 


	33. Guess who's bad?

Hi everyone! Ok I'm very very sorry I haven't update for almost two weeks. I haven't forget you! Promise it won't happen again!

To Terra Nova Fan : sorry, I wanted to send you a private message but as you don't have an account I couldn't. Be sure that I always read your messages! :)

And I just realized that today it has been 3 months since I started this fic and guess what? This is chapter 33! Might be a sign of something, no? Maybe chapter 44 for the fourth month? We will see! At least I'm glad to see that I have 11 chapters per month so almost 3 chapters per week. Quite cool huh? Enjoy this happy 3 months birthday! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Guess who's bad ?<strong>

"How would you know that?" Taylor asked his son in a very suspicious tone when he revealed them he knew Alexandra's parents were hiding from them.

"I know exactly who they are because they are the people who hired me to make the portal go both ways," Lucas confessed.

"What?" Damon was in shock.

"You heard me." Was the only answer Lucas gave him. Taylor looked intensely at his son, he was not lying, he was sure of it.

"Why are you telling us now?"

"Because, my dear father, I don't want them to destroy everything I took the time to build."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't talked to them yet, but I guess they are here because they need me to help them rebuild the portal."

"Isn't that what you want? Isn't it what you've been trying to do since you came here?" Damon asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I want to control the portal, I want it to be used in a good way. My employers and I do not share the same opinion."

"How do you know they haven't changed?"

"Because they came here lying to you, to us… to her. They are the same people I first met 7 years ago."

"And you never made the connection between them and Alex before?" Taylor inquired. He knew his son was brilliant, how could he have missed that? Alice and Alexandra were so similar.

"I must admit that when I first met Alex I…" A smile was forming on his face at the thought of it. "Well let's just say she reminded me of someone I used to know. But actually there was something else I couldn't define. Now I know."

"But there must not have been a lot of French people that you met and less who had Paris as their last name," Taylor insisted.

"As you probably already noticed, their English accent is really good and they never told me their name was Paris. Their name is Dubois. I'm sure of it."

"Why is Alex's name Paris then?" Taylor asked, surprised.

"I read that Paris was her grandmother's name. When her parents went missing, she probably changed her name." Damon guessed. Lucas stared at him for a minute. He didn't like that Damon knew more about Alexandra than he did. Actually, Lucas had never read her files, he thought he didn't need to as she would tell him everything he'd ask. "Why don't we just arrest them?" Damon asked, perplexed.

"Because we must find out what they really want, why they are really here. I do not believe they are here for Alex otherwise they would have come back sooner."

"I don't believe they will attack Terra Nova either," Lucas continued. "They made a smart move coming here. We invited them in the colony. They are here as guests. Once they have what they are looking for, they'll disappear as quietly as they arrived."

"If we can use them as well, it would be perfect. It would be good for us if they could help repair the portal. If they think Lucas is still on their side, then he must act like he is."

"I've already planned that. I start my role tomorrow morning. I'm such a great dramatic actor," he said overdramatically, smiling. "Yet, I'm sure they are here to find something they need," he continued seriously. "Maybe in the Eye, maybe in the lab..."

"Maybe it's just you? Maybe you are the thing they need?" Damon guessed. Taylor seemed to deliberate. If what they needed to succeed in repairing the portal was his son, then Lucas was the problem and the solution.

"Lucas, you have to become close, very close to them," Taylor told Lucas. "Even if it means being the old you," he added, looking deeply into his son's eyes. Lucas stared at him for a minute and eventually nodded. They didn't need to talk, they had an agreement. Lucas would do what he had to do to protect Terra Nova, to protect his new home.

"Ok, we need a plan. A good one. If they think you are going to double cross us, then we have to be cleverer." Damon was ready to do this. Even if he didn't like Lucas, it didn't matter anymore, because he needed him for this mission.

"Yes, we must be very smart. If they spot us, it's over."

"What about Alex?" Damon asked. "Shouldn't we warn her?"

"I don't think she should know any of this. She has just found them after 7 years. She has the right to spend some quality time with them before… Before what must happen happens." Taylor explained.

"Even if they are her parents, they could hurt her, couldn't they?" Damon looked at Lucas with a questioning gaze.

"They would do what needs to be done. I really don't know them as parents. Let's just say that if they are like they were before, the Phoenix group is as dangerous as a puppy compared to them. They are not violent like them, but a lot smarter. They always end having what they want… Now I say it, it reminds me of someone," he chuckled awkwardly. Taylor and Damon stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. "I think they would be ready to use her if needed," he eventually said seriously.

"We don't know what her parents could do to her. She has to stay out of the equation ok?" Taylor warned them. Damon and Lucas nodded in agreement. "Lucas, it means you must not try to get back together with her. It would be more complicated if you were together. She must not know what is going on." Lucas had not really thought about this part of the plan and he didn't like that part, not at all. "Lucas, do you hear me? You leave her alone."

"She dumped me, I guess it's already enough. She will stay away from me," he frowned.

"It won't be enough," Damon stated. "Alex's faith in Lucas is at the point of insanity. She won't stay away from him just like that." Lucas glared at Damon. He didn't like the way the conversation was going.

"I am flattered but I think you are overestimating my powers of attractiveness," he mocked.

"Lucas, you have to stay away from her, ok? It's for her own good." Taylor said firmly.

"I'll do it. But don't expect too much, you both know how unpredictable Alex can be. It doesn't depend on just me. She always does what she wants. If you push her too much, she'll come back twice as strong. We all know that when you ask her to do something, she does the opposite. Above all if she's mad at you, she'll do it just to annoy you, even if it hurts her." Lucas knew he had to stay away from her. If her parents knew about his feelings for her, they might use her. He wanted to protect her from them, even if it meant being away from her. He owed her that, she deserved it.

"We must be careful with her. I don't know how she does it, but she always ends up knowing everything," Taylor tipped them off.

"And she already suspects something," Lucas added.

"What do you mean?"

"She asked me earlier to tell her what was going on with her parents."

"How would she know?" Damon asked, distrustfully.

"Looks like you just realized who she really is! She's not a stupid pretty girl with an empty head. She's smart, of course she has already noticed something was weird." Lucas mocked again.

Taylor, Lucas and Damon spent the rest of the night thinking about the best plan to execute. Only the three of them would know this plan. They were sure Alice and Charles had a spy in Terra Nova. It was the only way they could have known they were coming to the Badlands, it was the only way they knew their daughter was there, it was the only way they knew Lucas had almost finished the portal.

Alexandra didn't sleep very well, tossing most of the night. Her last meeting with Lucas was torturing her mind. Alexandra looked at the clock and sighed, it was 5 in the morning.

"God what's wrong with me?" She cursed herself. It has been ages since she had slept until noon and she missed it so much. Now she had the opportunity to do it, she couldn't. She sat on her bed, deliberating what to do. The sun was slowly rising outside and it was beautiful. She felt the urge to go outside and enjoy it. A little run before going to work would be great. She dressed quickly with a pair of dark blue tight shorts and a white tank top. She put her trainers on and walked quietly in the house, not wanting to wake up her parents.

"Sneaking out the house?" A voice said somewhere from the dark sitting room.

"Shit!" She cursed. "Dad, you scared me!" She always felt like she was 4 when he was talking to her. She didn't know how he did that, how he had this power over her, but it really annoyed her.

"What are you up to?"

"I'm going out," she started to say. "And no, I'm not sneaking out, I'm just going for a run."

"You? Running? Sport is not really you is it?"

"Well, unless you haven't noticed yet, I grew up since the last time you saw me."

"You were not a morning person either," he said suspiciously.

"I'm still not," she smiled lightly. "I have few things on my mind I need to think about and I realized a while ago that running helps me empty my head."

"What's on your mind?"

"Well…Huh…" She sat in front of him, fidgeting her fingers in nervousness. "Do you…" She stopped, thinking about what she wanted to ask.

"Do I?"

"Do you have stories about me? I mean, do you remember how it was when I was a child? How we were? Do you have anecdotes about me?"

"Of course I do! Why, don't you?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Of course… Of course I have stories… It's just… Sometimes I wonder if they are real or if it's just my imagination that created them. You know, to fill your absence."

"What kind of stories?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Holidays, countries we have visited, things you have said… But it's all in a blur. And when I think about it, it doesn't make sense. You were working a lot, both of you, so I don't know when and how we would have been in those places. I don't think we had so much time together." Her father looked at her intensely with his dark eyes and a shiver ran down her spine. She quivered slightly. Charles didn't seem to notice it.

"You know what? I'll tell you some stories later, alright?"

"Yes, that would be great!" She grinned, trying to forget this strange feeling she just had.

"Good. Now go and run! Empty your head," he smirked. Alexandra gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek and went out. She ran for 30 minutes and it helped her, it relaxed her. As she was walking back calmly to her house she saw the light was already on in the headquarters. Maybe Taylor was there? Maybe he knew what was wrong with Lucas? She knew he was not that close with Lucas but maybe he knew something that could help her to find out what was going on with him and her parents. She thought he might talk to her and ran upstairs. She slowed her pace when she arrived at the door. Taylor, Damon and Lucas were there, gathered around Taylor's desk, pointing at things on it. She stayed at the door for a moment,observing them. What were they doing at such an early hour? She gave a quick glance to everyone. They were all wearing the same clothes they had the day before. She couldn't believe they had stayed together all night. She remembered Lucas saying his father was waiting for him the night before. What was going on in here? She cleared her throat to alert them to her presence. They all turned to her in surprise. They looked exhausted.

"Morning?" She smiled lightly. "Long night?"

"What are you doing here?" Taylor asked her immediately. His question surprised her, he seemed tense and it was unusual.

"I…I wanted to talk to you," she stammered, still surprised by his rough attitude to her.

"About?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"About…Huh…" She felt stupid. She couldn't say to him why she was there in the presence of Lucas. "It's not important," she said, shaking her head like it didn't matter. "So what you guys are doing?" She said casually, walking over to them.

"Discussing," Taylor replied. He didn't know what to say without warning her more.

"Discussing what?" She asked lightly, smiling.

"Private business," Taylor answered truthfully. Alexandra's smiled faded in a second and her gaze hardened.

"What kind of private business?" She inquired, feeling something was wrong. She looked at Damon and saw him grimace. Lucas was staring at his father's desk, avoiding Alexandra's gaze, yet she could see he was boiling inside.

"Don't you know the definition of private?" Taylor said seriously. That was all she needed, now she knew he was hiding something from her, something that concerned her. Taylor cursed himself for being so unprepared for Alexandra's curiosity.

"What is it?" She asked again. Taylor nodded to Damon and he came to Alexandra.

"You can't stay here," Damon stated.

"Why?" She asked him, her voice slightly harsh.

"You heard the commander. Come on," he said, pushing her outside as nicely as possible. Damon didn't want to be rude. But Alexandra did what she always did and pushed him away.

"What's going on?" She insisted. Suddenly, Lucas banged his fist on the table and looked at her, furious.

"Alex, for once do what you're told," he glared at her. "I'm getting really bored and impatient, and I don't do bored and impatient. Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself." She glared at him, her eyes challenging him to come and do what he had threatened to do. Damon and Taylor stared at them in silence. They were stunned by the violence of his tone. Electricity was filling the room.

"Come on then, try me, I dare you," she hissed with arrogance. She was very upset, she hated him for being such a moron. The aggressiveness that was emanating from Alexandra towards him was evident.

"You should really learn to shut your fucking mouth," he roared, walking to her angrily, his finger pointing at her. She stepped back in fear and Damon came in front of her, protecting her if needed. Taylor was quicker and stopped his son, wrapping him with his arms tightly.

"Alex, leave us." He commanded her.

"But…"

"NOW!"

"Taylor I…"

"This is an order soldier." She looked at him sadly, tears threatening to come. "You're off for the week. You do not interfere with any of our business here. Do you understand me?" As she didn't say a word, he added very seriously. "Do you?"

"I do," she replied, the feeling of hurt audible in her voice. She gave them a sad and painful look. It was so unfair. She turned her back to them and walked outside, frustrated. There was no way they were going to get rid of her like that. Lucas' scary attitude would not afraid her, at the opposite, she was more eager to know what he was hiding. Taylor waited for her to be gone for good before releasing Lucas.

"See, this is exactly what I was talking about. We have to scare her, to force her to stay away or she will screw up our plan." Lucas said immediately.

"It was a little bit too extreme don't you think?" Damon said coldly.

"Do you remember our plan? You'll have to avoid her, lie to her, are you able to do this? Are you really ready to do this?"

"I can do this. If it's for her own good, I'll do it," Damon replied firmly.

"Let's go then," Taylor said, assurance in his voice. Yes, he was ready to trap them, to hunt them down. Nobody came to his colony and threatened it under his commandment. No one.

* * *

><p>Well, well, well… I told you Alex's parents had a real role in this story, didn't I? I think it's going to be hard for Lucas to keep calm in Alexandra's presence. It's all or nothing with him, he is used to extreme reactions isn't he? Yet, I'm sure he won't tell her their secret mission whereas I'm not sure if Damon is able to do it! We'll find out soon…! Let's just say that it's going to be a loooonnngg day for everyone (and for you too because the day is divided in 4 chapters!). Let me know what's on your mind!<p> 


	34. Lie to me

**Lie to me**

This was not his plan, it was not what he had planned at all. When Alexandra had told Lucas she didn't want to be with him anymore he had been furious. Then he had thought he could win her back, he had thought he would have time to do it. But when he had seen Alexandra's parents it was already too late to go back. The second he had realized who they were, it all blew off his plans. They had made a smart move, he couldn't deny it, but he had to be smarter than them. He had thought about every possibility, every solution, every exit to solve this problem, but in the end, he was sure he had to tell his father. Even if he didn't like the idea, he needed him to be part of his plan. Lucas was walking to the lab, ready to confront Charles and Alice when he saw Alexandra waiting for him outside his lab.

"God, this girl never gives up," he mumbled to himself, annoyed, yet proud. If she had not given up after what he has done earlier, maybe frightening her was not a solution. He had never known why, but she had never been afraid of him, even when they first met, like he would never hurt her. Yet, there was a solution he didn't like that would made her go away. He had hoped he would not have to use it, but now she was here and now he had to.

Alexandra had walked back home, gotten changed and run back to the lab. She wanted to see Lucas before he could see her parents. She wanted him to tell her. After all, they were still a couple few days ago, he could do that for her, couldn't he? When she saw him arriving, she tried to keep calm. She didn't want him to react like he had done earlier.

"I hope you're not here because about what happened earlier 'cause you're wasting your time," Lucas said immediately when he stopped in front of her. His tone was normal, distant, yet polite.

"Lucas, I need you to tell me what's going on."

"Why?"

"Because I have to know."

"There's nothing for you to know."

"Of course there is something. Why don't you want to tell me?"

"I think my father told you to stay out of it, didn't he?" Lucas' voice was calm, yet his eyes were betraying his impatience.

"You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Just let me know," she said, almost pleading.

"I have nothing to say. So now move on, I have a job to go to." She stopped him, putting her hands on his chest. He stiffened under her touch. He missed her so much, her touch, her skin, her lips… '_No_', he told himself, _'Think straight. Don't let her drive you crazy_.'

"Lucas…" Her eyes were begging him for the truth, her hands were still on his chest and her body was inches from his.

"I think I've been clear," he said coldly. Yet, he didn't have the courage to push her away. He could feel their bodies tense from their closeness, breathing at the same time, like they were connected.

"It's bullshit!" She pushed him with her hands. "What's going on between you and your father?"

"Like you said, it's my father, not yours. It has nothing to do with you. And even if there was something I would not tell you."

"You owe me that."

"I owe you nothing," he snapped coldly. "We are not together anymore, remember?"

"You said you loved me 2 days ago and now you're avoiding me? What is that supposed to mean?"

"You made it clear that we were not together anymore. I got the message. So I have nothing to tell you." That was rude. Yet, she was sure something very important was up otherwise he would not talk to her like that, or so she was hoping. If Lucas had to work with his father and Damon, it had to be important. She had to find out what it was.

"I know there's something wrong. If you really meant what you said, if you really loved me then you would tell me," she challenged him. It was a weak move but she didn't know what else to do.

"You made your decision, you broke up with me. It doesn't matter anymore what I said 2 days ago."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Deadly serious."

"I don't believe you," Alexandra stated firmly, yet Lucas saw uncertainty in her eyes.

"You should, because it's the truth."

"Liar. You're lying. I know that you don't believe a single word you've just said." She didn't want to believe him, she couldn't. For sure, he did not believe what he had said or he had been a really good liar in the past.

"Oh yeah? I don't?" Lucas quickly glanced around and spotted a blonde girl walking in their direction. He waved at her to come and she did so, smiling. "Look at that," he commanded Alexandra as he stepped closer to the girl, murmured something in her ear that made her giggle and kissed her hungrily. Alexandra gulped, anger boiling inside her, her heart hammering in her chest. The girl seemed surprised yet at the same time she was enjoying it. Lucas stepped back and smiled at the girl. "You can go now," he said simply. The worst for Alexandra was that actually the girl did leave them, beaming at her. "See, she is more my type of girl."

"Blonde and stupid?"

"Quiet and obedient."

"I know who you really are, better than anyone, Lucas. I am not giving up." She said, trying to convince him as much as she was trying to convince herself.

"Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you?"

"You want to punish me because I dumped you? Ok, go on, play that game. You still owe me an explanation about this morning." She tried to focus on the main reason why she was there. She was feeling so helpless in front of him, all the self-confidence she had in her had faded away the minute he had kissed that whore. Even if she would not say it out loud, she was convinced she was his first priority, that if he had to choose, it would be her, always her, only her. She would have never thought he would humiliate her like he just did. She had been sure she knew him better than anyone else did and he knew her better than anyone else did. Actually, he knew her so well that he was humiliating her on purpose but also hurting her pride.

"Look, I just don't have time to be responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in your life! Everything is not always about you, the world doesn't turn around you, ok? Grow up. Isn't it time for you to find another bad guy to piss off?"

"Fuck you," she hissed, shaking her head in disgust. "Asshole." Why was he acting like that? She was not the one who had acted wrongly. Their roles were reversed now and she couldn't understand why. "You are clearly not the guy I fell in love with, that for sure," she spat, upset.

"You are the one who said that I'll choose myself over everybody else over and over again, because that's just who I am. Your words. Remember? Why are you so surprised now?" He snapped. As Alexandra stayed speechless in front of him, he added. "It's what I thought. Just stay away from me ok? It will be better, for both of us." Then he left her, entering his lab. Her eyes were wet before she could even see it coming. Why was he doing that? He loved her then the minute after he didn't anymore? She was hurt to realize how little she meant to him. She was so disappointed. How could he give up on her so easily? She didn't know what to expect from him after they split, but she had thought he would fight for her, at least a little. She knew Lucas could be bad with people, but he had never been with her. In the past, extreme reactions were for the others, not for her. So that was what happening to the people who deceived him? He would throw you away like you never existed? She felt suddenly very sad. Lucas seemed to be out of her life for good now. It was sudden, yet it was what she asked for. Why was she caring for him anyway? She had dumped him for a good reason, he had betrayed her and now he was showing who he really was. But even if she wanted this to happen, it hurt to feel this hole into her heart. He was the missing piece of her puzzle and she would have to live without it.

Lucas hated himself for hurting Alexandra like he did. He reassured himself that he had done it to protect her, yet he couldn't wipe away the feeling that he was really going to lose her if he had to keep playing the bad guy. He hit the wall with his fist when he was alone in his lab, letting his anger escape before Alice and Charles arrived. Ten minutes later, a knock at the door made him stop working. They were there, with Malcolm, warmly smiling at him. Lucas thought they were definitely good actors. He would have to be very careful with them.

"Lucas, you remember Alice and Charles?" Malcolm started to say.

"Of course," he said, shaking their hands, smiling as politely as possible.

"Ok so, they are working with you for a start. I guess you have a lot to discuss about the portal," Malcolm smiled.

"Yes we do," Charles replied, giving the same warmly smile he had given to Lucas the minute before.

"Good, then I'll leave you there. Call me if you need." Malcolm waved quickly at them and left. Once the door was shut, Charles' smile disappeared and left place for a cold and upset face.

"Boy, you are smart enough to know that if we are here it's because we wanted to be found, so let's just skip the stupid part where you try to explain us why you are here," Charles said. "I already know what you've done those last months. We'll discuss that another time. The most important thing is that you owe us. You haven't finished the work we paid you for."

"Why do you think I'm here?" Lucas replied coldly. "I'm working on it."

"Good. And you're working on what exactly? 'Cause I haven't seen anything yet!"

"Creating a second time fracture is not as easy as it was for the first one. I had to start from the beginning again."

"Well stop that, we've got the calculations for a new time fracture. What we need is the key to use it. We need your device."

"I haven't created one yet. I need your calculations first."

"Don't try to set me up here, I know you don't need my calculations to create it. Don't fool us, it's rather annoying."

"I'm not. You need to tell me at least some of them so I can parameter the device."

"That's better," he smiled evilly. "Alice, my dear, would you give Lucas what he needs?"

"Sure," she smiled at him. Her smile was not as evil as his, yet it was disturbing and slightly scary. She walked to the desk and sat in front of him. "Tell me, what do you need exactly?" She asked in a commanding tone.

Dr Shannon was filling some patients' files when she heard the front door open. She glanced up quickly and saw Alexandra. She had red eyes and she was pale. Her distress was evident and it pained Dr Shannon. She stood up and walked to her.

"Hey Alex, is there something wrong?" Alexandra didn't reply, biting her lips. She was at the edge of crying again. "Is it about your parents?"

"I don't know that yet." Dr Shannon arched her eyebrows, she didn't know what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not about them…" She sighed.

"Is it about… Lucas?" She guessed.

"What do you know about it?"

"Well…Jim told me you broke up."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

"He kissed another girl."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I know."

"Why are you here?" She asked, really concerned.

"I guess I needed to talk. To talk to a friend I mean," she said truthfully.

"Then feel free to talk to me. Come on," she put her arms around her shoulders and led her to an empty room. Alexandra sat on a bed and Dr Shannon took a chair.

"It's strange. I am lost and I'm not used to it." Alexandra started to explain.

"How do you feel?"

"It's all confusing. I hate Lucas for what he has done, yet I miss him so much," she sighed.

"Do you know why?"

"I guess… I guess there's a part of routine. It's strange not having him at home. It's even stranger not having him and having my parents instead. I miss his contact, you know, feeling him close to me, touching him." She shook her head. "I don't even know where he is living now."

"He shares a house with Mark."

"Does he?" She said, really surprised.

"Yes. From what I've heard, they're doing well."

"Amazing…"She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. It was like she didn't know Lucas anymore.

"What was the other part?"

"What part?"

"You said you thought routine was one of the reason. What's the other one?"

"I guess that… When you have spent a long time with someone, shared so many things with him, intimate things, like you would have never done with anyone else, then I guess it can never be the same afterwards, no?" She winced.

"You still love him, don't you?"

"If I could stop I would," she confessed sadly, tears filling her eyes.

"I am sorry Alex," Dr Shannon soothed her.

"My life looks like a bad drama lately. I thought I was different from those girls who are looking for a bad romance with a bad guy. Maybe that's what I'm doing, maybe I'm just as stupid as them thinking a bad guy can change into a good one."

"Clearly you're not. You are different, you are unique, never doubt it." Dr Shannon didn't want her to underestimate herself. She liked her and knew she was a good girl. It pained her to see her doubting like that.

"Then why? Why am I holding on to this?"

"In my opinion, this is about love. Lucas is your first love and you can't forget your first love, never. It's going to take time to ease the pain, but you will not forget it. Yet, if he's not the one, you'll meet someone else."

"What should I do then?"

"Wait and see. Give you some time. Just enjoy your life, spend time with your parents, with your friends. I know a girl who misses you a lot!"

"I miss Maddy too," she smiled lightly.

"Then, when it's time, when you're ready, you'll see if you still love him."

"And if I still do? What does it mean? Am I a lost forever?"

"You left him because he kissed someone else, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you can forgive him?"

"I'm not sure. I was so upset when I found him with… her. I decided it had to end. But now he said he didn't care about me anymore, actually he just kissed another girl in front of me to prove it and it's weird because I feel this urge to have him back with me. I am jealous! Can you believe it?" Dr Shannon was surprised. Why would Lucas have done such a thing? Extreme reactions, that what she had warned him not to have and obviously it was what he was doing. Men, they could be so stupid sometimes.

"Do you think he can change?"

"Lucas doesn't know what it means to be a couple. He had plenty of girls in the past but it was not the same. Being in couple is not just fun and great sex, it's about feelings, about saying them, sharing them. Lucas knows how to express himself when he wants to, but he is not able to say the important things."

"Is it something you would break up over? Does it matter to you?"

"No…I guess. I don't know. I mean, it's who he is. I always knew it. How can I love him and hate him at the same time?"

"It's what love is all about." She chuckled lightly.

"Elizabeth…I want this pain to go away." She confessed. Dr Shannon pursed her lips, thinking about a solution to help her.

"Pain, you just have to ride it out and hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just take a deep breath and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. It hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. You just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more. You're strong enough to handle it. I'm sure you are."

"So you tell me to wait and see?" It was more a statement than a question.

"I wish there were a rulebook for love telling you how to handle it. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice, wouldn't it? But maybe there are no rules. Maybe the rules of love are something we have to define for ourselves. I'm sure you already know what you have to do to feel better. Just do it, stop feeling guilty about it." Alexandra took a deep breath and nodded. Yes, she would do that. She would stop thinking about the consequences and do what she wanted to do, what she needed to do. After all, wasn't it what everybody was doing lately?

"Thank you," she said, hugging her.

"You're welcome Alex. Come anytime, whenever you need to. Honestly, don't hesitate, I'm right here."

"I know. Thanks for your advice. I've got to go. It's nearly lunchtime and I eat with my parents. I better go back home now," she explained before leaving her.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

_"Once upon a time somebody ran, somebody ran away saying 'fast as I can I got to go, I got to go'. Once upon a time we fell apart. You're holding in your hands the two halves of my heart. Once upon a time we burned bright. Now all we ever seem to do is fight On and on, and on and on and on. Once upon a time on the same side, once upon a time on the same side in the same game. Now why d'you have to go. Have to go and throw water on my flame? I could have been a princess, you'd be a king. Could have had a castle and worn a ring But no o-o-o-oh you let me go […] You stole my star. 'Cos you really hurt me, no you really hurt me." Princess of China - Rihanna & Coldplay_

* * *

><p>Lucas flirting and kissing a barbie doll just to drive Alex crazy? I don't know if it's a smart move. Maybe he's just gonna lose her in the end if he continues in this way. Yet, it seems to work, she's hurt and want to stay away from him. But for how long? I don't know how much she still loves him and how far she can go to find the truth. Strong girls don't stay still, don't they? J<p>

Charles and Alice, what a great couple isn't it! No, I'm kidding, of course! They seem horrible, don't they? And they seem to know a lot about everything and everybody. Weird, isn't it? Are they smarter than our super genius Lucas? I guess you'll have to read the next chapters to find out!


	35. Payback

**Payback**

It was nearly lunchtime and Skye wanted to know if Lucas had had time to talk to Alexandra. She left the infirmary and ran to the lab. She didn't bother to knock and entered in Lucas' lab. She immediately stopped, embarrassed.

"Sorry," she said when she saw he was not alone.

"Skye, how many times did I ask you to knock at the door before entering?" Lucas sighed, annoyed. Skye shrugged, uncomfortable.

"Oh, you must be Skye Tate?" Charles asked, shaking her hand. "I've heard so much about you." Skye forced a smile, not knowing what to say. What could he have heard about her? "I'm Charles, Alex's father. And this is my wife Alice." Skye already knew who they were, she had seen them at the infirmary. She thought Alexandra's father was strange and his penetrating gaze disturbed her. She didn't like it and it made her uncomfortable.

"Nice to meet you," she mumbled. "I just wanted to talk to Lucas but I… I'll come back later."

"Oh no, please don't go. Do what you have to do, Alice and I are leaving anyway," he smiled widely. "Quality time with our daughter," he added. Lucas stood up and grabbed Skye's arm as he passed. He walked her outside and closed the door behind him.

"What do you want?" He asked, annoyance more palpable than before.

"Isn't it strange to work with her parents?"

"No. What do you want?"

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"No I have not."

"Why?"

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"I have my own reason. Just stop trying to solve this. This is none of your business."

"Pardon?"

"You heard me. Drop it."

"What's going on?"

"Why is it that every women I know can't just stop asking questions?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe because you're not answering," she snapped, rather upset by his question.

"Can't you see that you, being around me all the time is not helping? Don't you have a job to go to?"

"Ok… So I can see you're angry right now and I don't know why, but I'm gonna... I'll leave you to… to deal with it however you want. We'll talk later."

"I don't want to talk, ok? I have enough talking, enough thinking. Just stop invading my life , ok?"

"Hey I did nothing. Don't spill your anger on me!"

"Skye this is not a good day, not a good week, not a good month. Just get out of my life," he commanded her.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, for God sake just go," he said roughly. She looked at him with anger.

"I understand now why she was crying," Skye dared to say. Her plan worked perfectly because Lucas froze immediately. She had all of his attention now.

"Who?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Who do you think? You stupid arrogant jerk." He frowned at her, displeased by her tone.

"When?"

"An hour ago."

"Where?"

"At the infirmary."

"Alone?"

"With Dr Shannon."

"Good," he stated.

"Good? Have you lost your mind?" She was stunned.

"Not at all. Now, if you would excuse me, you may not have a life, but I've got one," he scowled, going back to his lab. Skye was shocked by his reaction. He wanted to have Alexandra back in his life, he had spent the last weeks talking about how he would win her back and now he was pleased she was crying? What kind of normal person would do that? She was very disappointed. She left the lab and walk back to the infirmary to finish her shift, her mind full with questions and theories about Lucas' behavior.

Alexandra had walked back home after her discussion with Dr Shannon. She had prepared a lunch for her and her parents. Now, they were eating in silence and it made Alexandra shift uncomfortably on her chair. She remembered that they usually used to talk a lot when she was younger, at least when they were eating together. Of course, it was the only moment when her parents were sharing time with her. But it was in her memories though.

"So... Hmmm... How was your first morning in a normal life?" She started the conversation.

"Great, really great. They have amazing machines in here," her father answered.

"Yes, your father is like a child in a toy store," her mother laughed.

"Good… Good… And, how is it working with Lucas Taylor?" She tried to ask casually.

"It's nice! He is a smart boy. Do you know him?" Her mother asked. Her father tilted his head, waiting for her response, as if he was trying to read her minds.

"Well... Uh... I don't really know him. Yet I know him enough to know that he can be weird so if he does anything strange, feel free to tell me."

"Oh no he's fine with us, isn't he Charles?"

"Yes, this boy is a genius. It's a pleasure to work with him."

"It's perfect then!" Alexandra smiled widely.

"How was your morning?" Alice asked her.

"Great. Normal. You know, patrols and things. Nothing really important," she lied. She saw her father was still staring at her. "Is there something wrong dad?"

"No, nothing. I was just realizing how grown up you are. 22. You're almost an adult now."

"I am an adult dad! I have a job, I have a house. A house I actually share with you, indeed, but it was my house at first."

"I can see that. I'm proud of you, do you know that?" He said seriously. She froze for a moment, looking awkwardly at him. It felt really strange and this conversation seemed unreal. Did her father really say that he was proud of her?

"Thank you," she managed to say. "I'm proud of you too, both of you. You made a brilliant invention. The portal. I mean, wow, who would have believed that in 2012?" She changed the subject, turning it back to her father.

"Yes, amazing isn't it?" Charles smiled proudly. "We did a great job I guess. Years of work."

Alexandra spent the rest of the lunch listening to her parents' invention and how they created it. She was captivated by their story, yet she was not as fascinated as she was when she was younger. Maybe when you have spent so much time in Terra Nova, you were not easily impressed anymore. At the end of their lunch, Charles left them for a moment, leaving Alice cleaning the dishes while Alexandra was dried them, lost in her thoughts.

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering… What's your plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's your plan? I mean, you repair the portal and then what? What are you going to do?"

"It's not done yet."

"You'll repair the portal. I'm sure of it. Are you gonna stay here?"

"I'm not sure."

"Where will you go after? When will you go? 2149? 2012?"

"I don't know honey. I haven't really talked about it with your father."

"Really? Doesn't sound like him. He plans everything."

"I guess we will go back to the future. I don't know when. But we won't stay here. We don't belong here."

"And me? What's my place in your plan?"

"You're coming with us!"

"Really?"

"Of course you are!" She reassured her.

"And you don't wanna know if I want to stay? You don't wanna know my opinion?"

"No we don't," his father said casually. She had not seen him come in.

"And if I want to stay here?" she challenged him.

"I'm sure you don't," he stated, sure of him, his dark eyes looking intensely at her, defying her to say the opposite. It was like he knew she had not told him everything, like he knew the problems she was having lately.

"I'm not a child anymore, you can't force me."

"I can see that. Yet, we just found each other. We are a family again and I'm sure you don't want to break it up again." Here he was again, guessing just right. Of course she didn't want it to happen.

"I don't, of course I don't."

"See, there are not problems, only solutions."

"Look at you, we are a family again and here you are, deciding everything on your own again."

"I know what's good for my family. And anyway there's nothing that holds you back here." It was a statement, his tone was clear. How could he be so sure of himself? His confidence confused her, making her lose all of her arguments.

"I… I've a life here, I created a family here. I've got friends… I've got a job… I've got… Taylor," she stammered. Actually she was not sure what she had anymore. Lucas was out of the equation, Damon and Taylor were acting like they didn't want her in their lives anymore. Skye was now a traitor instead of a friend. Fortunately, she still had the Shannon's.

"Taylor?" Her father said, disdain perceptible in his voice. "What's Taylor doing in this?" Alexandra didn't like the tone he was using. Even if Taylor had asked her to go away, he didn't deserve her agreeing her father's judgment.

"Yes, Taylor. He saved me, he healed me, he fed me, he gave me a job, a house… He gave me a chance. He is… was like a father to me." Alexandra didn't know what Taylor was for her anymore. Their last meeting had not ended so well for her. Charles' face hardened at the word 'father'.

"Well, I'll have to thank the man," he said bitterly, not even hiding his disgust at the idea. "But now, your real father is here."

"I can't just forget his existence because you're back, can I?"

"Are you blaming me for my absence?" He asked, slightly hurt. Alexandra had always known what to say to upset him and even if he knew it, he could never get used to it.

"Do you know how it felt to be abandoned? To be an orphan when you're 14?"

"It's not like we had the choice."

"I ended up alone!"

"You were not alone, you had your grandmother."

"It was not the same!"

"Yet she took care of you. You should be grateful."

"I am!"

"Do you know what it was like when we were abducted?"

"I'm not talking about you right now. I'm talking about me, ME!" She was yelling now, upset.

"You're so selfish!" He said coldly.

"Me? You are the most selfish man I know! It's always about you, about your work! Look where it led us! You are just…"

"I am so…" They were talking at the same time, tension growing between them, filling the room.

"…so unfair."

"…disappointed by your attitude."

"How can you do that to me? To us?"

"Me? Are you listening to yourself? You're a…"

"Shut your fu…"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Her mother shouted, stopping both of them in whatever they were going to say.

"I need some fresh air," Alexandra blurted out madly, walking outside, slamming the front door on her way.

"This girl won't make it Alice," Charles murmured, shaking his head.

"Yes she will. She'll get used to it. She will join us," Alice tried to reassure him. "She'll come with us."

"I hope you're right," he sighed. "But if you're not, we'll do it my way."

"Give her more time. I'll talk to her."

"We don't have much time left. I'll give you two days. Then, I'll handle it. And believe me, I'll fix her."

Alexandra was wroth. How dare her father decide for her. They had just come back together and he was already directing her life. As she walked, she bumped into Skye, hand in hand with Josh. She looked at them, bemused.

"You're still together ? How sweet," she mocked bitterly. Then she noticed Josh bewildered expression and Skye's uncomfortable face. "You haven't told him, have you?" She chuckled nastily.

"Tell me what?" Josh frowned. As Skye didn't respond, Alexandra answered for her.

"Let's just say that you had every reason to punch Lucas like you did," Alexandra smiled evilly. Now she was enjoying this situation. It was her turn for payback.

"What?" Josh looked at Skye and saw how confused she was. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing, he did nothing," she started to explain. "He… I… Josh, I need to tell you…"

"That they kissed," Alexandra finished Skye's sentence, to her dismay.

"He what? You what?" It was like Josh was going to have a heart attack.

"Josh, wait, I can explain," Skye tried to say as he was leaving her. She tried to stop him but he pushed her.

"I can't believe you did it! You disgust me," he spat.

"Josh let me explain to you!"

"Explain what? You cheated on me! With Lucas! That's worse than everything you've ever done."

"Josh!" Skye cried, panting, her face reflected anguish as he glared at her in disgust.

"I'm not a revengeful person, but for you, I'll make an exception." Alexandra said harshly, smiling nastily to her, before leaving a distressed Skye, crying in the middle of the alley. Alexandra knew that what she had done was bad, yet it made her feel better. She was really cross, her heart was hammering in her chest, speed increasing at the thought of everything that had happened to her since the morning. Yes, she was bloody pissed off and someone had to pay for it.

* * *

><p><p>

Ok so Alex and her father, conflicted relationship. Skye and Josh, not in a good way after the truth has finally been exposed. Skye and Alex? Not in a good way either after Alex's revelation. Skye and Lucas? Well, not much better. Wow, it sounds like everybody is started to be a little tense, doesn't it? Might only be the beginning of a tricky and complex situation… Where is it gonna lead them? And above all where is it gonna stop? I let you make your theories on this until the next chapter!


	36. Your turn to play

**Your turn to play**

Her argument with Taylor, Lucas and Damon, then her dad, now her meeting with Skye, was causing the day to turn from bad to worse for Alexandra. She wanted to follow Dr Shannon's advice, yet she was too upset to keep calm. She was pacing angrily near the fence when she saw Damon entering Boylan's bar, it was too much of a temptation. She followed him.

Lucas was at Boylan's too. He needed a drink to ease the pain that had invaded him since Alexandra had broken up with him. Now he also had to deal with her parents and the consequences that their presence was causing on his love for her. He was sipping his third whisky when the girl he had kissed earlier came to him.

"Hard day?" She asked. He turned his head to see her. He had seen this girl before, maybe at the infirmary. He didn't remember her name though. Of course, he never cared to remember the other's names.

"You don't want to know," he replied coldly.

"I'm Kristen," she started to say.

"I'm not interested," he cut. He turned his head and noticed Alexandra entering the bar. She seemed to be looking for someone. She spotted Damon in the corner and walked to him. She didn't see Lucas. He clenched his jaw, furious to see her going to talk to Damon. Kristen glanced to Alexandra with disdain.

"I really don't understand why people think she's so special," she spat. "Honey, I'm sure I can make you forget about the French girl," she said in a seductive tone, her hand caressing his arm. Lucas glared at her, his eyes reflecting fury mixed with madness. He grabbed her hand roughly and leaned to her slowly.

"Don't you dare talk about her. You don't know her. She's much better and smarter than you could ever dream to be," he whispered dangerously in her ear. His tone made her shiver, she looked at him, frightened. He let go of her and she left him, shocked. She thought he was totally crazy and that she should have listened to her friends who had told her Lucas Taylor was too wild for a sane girl. Only an insane masochist girl like Alexandra could be with him.

Alexandra sat next to Damon.

"What's up?" She asked innocently.

"What do you mean?" He replied as much innocently.

"I don't know. What are our next missions?"

"I thought Taylor said you were off for the week?"

"Yes, he did. But… What are you going to do during my absence?"

"Just patrols I guess." She looked intensely at him without saying a word. It made him uncomfortable. "What?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not lying to you."

"Then tell me about earlier. What's going on?"

"Alex, I can't tell you. It's secret."

"What can be so important that you have to work with both Taylors?"

"I am not allowed to tell you. Don't ask me please. You know I won't tell you."

"Is it related to my parents?" Damon didn't answer. He knew there was no good answer for her question. If he said no, she would know he was lying. He couldn't say yes. He was sure she already knew the truth. She sighed loudly, annoyed. "You're not going to say anything, are you?"

"No."

"Ok," she said before standing, ready to leave.

"Hey Alex," he stood, grabbing her arm to stop her. "What are you going to do?"

"Can't tell you, it's a secret," she answered with ironically. _'How funny, Lucas might have eventually taught me how to be sarcastic_' she thought. Suddenly, an idea popped up in her mind and she wanted to try it.

"You said you love me, right?" She said, her tone very suggestive.

"Alex..." He sighed, knowing perfectly where she was going.

"Do you?"

"Yesssss," he sighed again, shutting his eyes in frustration.

"I guess when you love someone you don't keep secrets from her."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" She asked innocently, stepping closer to him.

"Use my feelings for you against me."

"I'm just trying to figure out how much you love me."

"Enough to not tell you. Look, you know I'm not allowed to tell you, why are you trying to get me in trouble?"

"I won't tell Taylor you told me."

"I have orders Alex."

"So you would not break the rules for me, is that what you're saying?"

"Stop interpreting my words."

"Lucas would have done it." Damon frowned at her comment.

"Lucas would have done anything to piss off the commander. Yet, I can't see him with you. So maybe your theory is wrong? Maybe you believe in him too much." She gave him an angry look and turned to leave when he stopped her. "Alex, promise me you won't do anything reckless," he begged, his eyes pleading with her. She bit her lip, thinking. She looked away, lost in her thoughts and realized Lucas was there, staring at her. He had three empty glasses in front of him. Alexandra knew nothing good would come out of it. Yet, she didn't think twice and put her palms on Damon's chest, pulling his shirt and kissing him. Damon stiffened in surprise, yet his arms wrapped her immediately, kissing her back. Alexandra's hands ran up and ended around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening their kiss. She broke their embrace, looking intensely at him, breathless. His questioning gaze was a mix of surprise and happiness. Alexandra should have regretted what she had done, because she didn't want Damon to think she was his, yet she was clearly enjoying paying Lucas back for what he had done in the morning. And after all, Damon was also keeping important info from her. She could be a little bit nasty to him for once.

"I'll see…," she replied, before going out, not even looking at Lucas.

Damon sighed, shaking his head. He was definitely worried now. He knew Alexandra, she was not going to stay useless, waiting. He turned to go back to his seat and noticed Lucas. They glared at each other for a minute. Damon was not stupid enough to think that Alexandra had kissed him because she wanted to be with him. Clearly she wanted Lucas to be jealous and it was working. Damon decided nothing good was going to occur if he continued to challenge him by holding his glare and went back to his table. He could have blamed Alexandra for her attitude but actually, he was too happy that he kissed her. The taste of her tongue was still lingering into his mouth and he liked it.

Lucas had to play the badass and stay away from Alexandra and was irritated to see that Damon was not doing the same. This guy was going to steal his girlfriend from right under his eyes and he would not react? No way. Yet, he had to be careful, he knew how much was in the game, he could lose a lot more. There will come the time he would make him pay for that, until then, he would keep a low profile. At least he would try to.

Skye arrived at Boylan's few minutes after Alexandra had left, eyes red from crying. She saw Lucas at the bar and came to him. He turned to face her and saw she had been crying.

"What's with you now?" He asked her with annoyance. He made it clear he didn't care. Skye felt hurt, yet she needed someone to talk to and he was the only one who could understand her.

"Josh dumped me," she said, tears threatening to come back. "Alex told him about what happened."

"And?"

"And? Are you kidding me?"

"You should feel relieved it's over. This guy is an ass."

"What?" She asked, grimacing in disbelief.

"You should thank her. She did you a great favor."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Look, I don't like the Shannon boy. What were you expecting me to say?"

"I don't know. Maybe what a friend would say? What a brother would say!"

"Well, as a brother, I'll tell you that you lost nothing and that you're better without him."

"What's wrong with you?" She frowned. Lucas exhaled loudly before speaking again.

"Bucket?" He sighed.

"What?"

"I'm not in the mood. Leave."

"What?" She was stunned.

"I said leave. Now. Go away. Find somebody else to talk to. Maybe someone who cares." He said, gesturing her to go away with his hand.

"Back to the old Lucas, are we? Good, fuck you," she hissed, before leaving him, very upset.

Lucas had stopped drinking after Alexandra left. After this discussion with Skye, he ordered a last glass of whisky and drank it straight. It was only 4 in the afternoon, a little bit too early to be drunk. He walked outside in the direction of the lab. Work would be the only way for him to think about something else other than his problems. On his way, he heard murmurs and some people were pointing to something up in the air. He stopped to see what it was, suddenly curious, as if his instincts were telling him to have a look in that direction, just in case. He was right. In front of him, sitting on the highest bar of the fence was Alexandra, her back turned to them. More and more people started to stop and stare at her. Lucas didn't want them to call his father, Damon or worst, her parents. He walked to the fence and climbed it. He noticed Alexandra's body tense when he sat next to her. He was so close, he could feel anger emanate from her body, electricity running between them.

"Leave me alone," Alexandra said coldly when he sat next to her.

"People are staring at you," he stated.

"I don't care."

"Doesn't sound like you."

"People haven't been sounding like themselves recently," she glared at him, before returning her gaze on the jungle. Of course, he knew who 'them' was. He couldn't suppress a chuckle at the situation. He had told himself he would stay away from her, keep a low profile, and here he was, up on the fence, in the sight of everyone, next to the girl he was supposed to avoid. She glanced at him quickly, just in time to see a smile spreading on his face, his intense green eyes staring away. It made him sexier than ever. This was exactly how Alexandra loved him: smiling, his eyes full of mischief, ready to have fun. She pursed her lips, she didn't want to smile. She was sure he knew the effect he had on her. She would not give him this pleasure. Yet, she wanted to be closer to him, she felt cold being next to him but not close enough to touch him. His hand was next to hers on the bar, she could feel tension growing between them. Suddenly she realized he was staring at her. Her quick glance had ended in her, staring at his lips. "What?" She asked, trying to sound annoyed.

"Nothing," he smirked.

"Better be nothing," she warned him, trying to focus her gaze on the jungle again. She had to fight with herself not to smile. How ridiculous was this?

"So… Damon huh?" He sneered with disdain.

"So Kristen?" She mimicked him, grimacing in disgust.

"Who's that?" He asked innocently. She frowned at him. "Oh that's her name?" He jeered, a mocking smile appearing at the corner of his mouth. He didn't give a shit about that girl and he would probably forget her name in a second. His smile broadened when he noticed her chuckling lightly. She was so pretty when she was happy. It had not happened a lot lately and he knew he was the main reason why. "How did we get here?" He suddenly asked seriously.

"We climbed, don't you remember?" She said ironically.

"So you are sarcastic now?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"I had a good teacher," she smirked.

"Someone I know?" He teased.

"A selfish dickhead I used to know," she stated. Yet, her tone was not rude at all.

"I'd like to meet the guy one day. It would be worth it." He said, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

"At least something good came out of it," she ribbed, shaking her head as a chuckle escaped. Lucas turned his face, posing his magnificent green eyes on her, mischief on his face.

"I'm glad I helped you in something," he mocked. She shut her eyes, smiling lightly, then reopened them and looked at him seriously, observing him, searching for the Lucas she knew, the one that made her laugh, the one she loved. He didn't move, allowing her to watch him. She didn't know how he was doing that to her. He knew how to make her experiment feelings very different to each other, even completely opposite feelings. She hated him yet having him next to her, close to her, was making her shiver from head to toe. He watched her too and they stayed for a moment like that in silence, enjoying the other one's company. Lucas knew he should not be there, but he couldn't help it, he wanted to be there. He was enjoying it more than he should. Having her next to him, just the two of them, not fighting, he had to take the most of it, he knew it would not last.

"Alex!" A male voice yelled from behind them. They both tensed and they both noticed the other's tension at the sound of this voice. Alexandra didn't turn her head, she knew it was her father's voice and she really didn't want to see him right now. It brought her back to reality and reminded her why she was there. Lucas saw her face become sad and cold again, clenching her jaw in irritation. She was distant again. Alexandra saw that Lucas' face had darkened when he had heard Charles' voice.

"Alex, for god sake, get down!" Her father shouted behind her. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down. She didn't know what was going on between Lucas and her father, nor between Lucas, Damon and Taylor. But she was sure something bad was going to happen. For some strange inexplicable reasons, she could feel it.

"Nom de Dieu, Alex redescend immédiatement,*" her father said firmly in French. She glanced quickly at Lucas one last time and saw that he was staring back at the jungle. He didn't even look at her. His eyes had lost their brightness and were back to angry and cold ones. _'Fine. You want to play it that way, let's play_.' she thought. She climbed down and walked to her father. "What were you doing up there?"

"Thinking. I wonder why you're all so worried about it," she said with annoyance.

"Alex, it was dangerous," her mother said before wrapping her in her arms.

"Mum, it's alright, I'm ok," Alexandra reassured her. She felt guilty, only for her mother who had been worried. Otherwise, she was still upset with all the men in her life: her father, Taylor, Damon and Lucas. Above all Lucas. Maybe she shouldn't, but she was, and she was not ready to give it away.

"You really haven't changed," her father said shaking his head. "Always looking for danger."

"Well I'm glad you at least remember something about me," she replied harshly. They both glared at each other.

"Alex, you said you were an adult. Your words. Now grow up!"

"I am what I am! Don't you fucking understand that I am what I am?" She yelled.

"Don't make a scene again," she heard her mother whisper. Everybody was staring at them. "Alex we were just worried, that's all. Your father didn't mean to hurt you."

"Of course he did," she mumbled to herself, leaving them, heading at the opposite direction. She needed to walk, she needed to escape them, she needed to fly away from them. A deep, bad, dark and strong feeling was growing up inside her, burning her, threatening to explode. A bomb was ticking inside her, ready to blow up. She would not keep it any longer, it had to go. She had to free herself.

Lucas observed the whole scene from his hidden spot. He had thought Alexandra was his weakness, now he could see she was Charles' weakness too. He couldn't control his daughter and that was obviously infuriating him. Charles was a calm and smart person, he was always controlling every move he would do, every word he would say, but there, he had shown that he could lose his temper too and it was complicating everything. Nobody knew how Alexandra was going to react and it would impact on her parent's reactions. On the same note, her parents' decisions would impact on Alexandra's reactions. It was not good, not good at all. Lucas had to see and talk to his father. Their plan had a flaw and they had to fix it before it went wrong.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

_"You're living in a lie, don't you hide. This is bio-mecanica deep inside. What you have ? You know what I also got ! Simple bot : think a lot before you act and you talk. Simple man, you say that you do what you can. I don't know what you can but I am what I am. Don't you fucking understand... I am what I am.[..] No offense, but if you want it to make sense, you've got to be smarter! Try me if you wanna. It's so easy : try me ! If you wanna kill me if you don't like me no more, just kill me. I'm so easy." Shaka Ponk - How we kill stars_

* * *

><p>Ok so Alex is bloody annoyed by 'her' men's attitudes. Clearly she's lost and it upset her a lot. Why is it that the men she loves the most are acting like total jerks? I think she's going to lose her temper soon, don't you think? She's boiling inside and it might explode very soon!<p>

I guess their plan is not as good as it supposed to be. They probably underestimate Alexandra's reaction to being kept away on purpose. Are they going to be strong enough to handle it until the end? What do you reckon, huh? Can Lucas stay away from Alex? Can Damon keep this secret from her? Doesn't smell good, does it?

*Nom de Dieu, Alex redescend immédiatement = For God Sake, Alex get down immediately


	37. Free for all

**Free-for-all**

Alexandra was pissed off, she wanted to blow off steam, maybe even break something. She didn't want to calm down just yet; she wanted to fuel the fire, she wanted to get the anger out of her system. All she wanted to do was lash out. It was like everybody was telling her what to do. No, actually they were all commanding her how to behave and it was pissing her off. Who the hell did they think they were? She was old enough to decide what to do. And right now, she wanted to make someone feel as hurt as she was feeling. The people that met her didn't dare look at her, too afraid of what could happen to them. Furiousness was emanating from her body, scaring people so much that they wouldn't even say hello to her.

Skye was really angry. Lucas was back to the old asshole he was at the beginning and when he didn't ignore her or avoid her, he was clearly annoyed by her presence. Josh didn't want to talk to her anymore. He had said she was just a selfish and heartless bitch. She had tried to explain herself, she had told him that what had happened didn't matter but all he had memorized was that she had kissed Lucas. She couldn't blame him for that, yet she couldn't help being mad. She wanted to hit something or fight with someone, she needed to clear her head. As she was walking to her house, she met Alexandra, anger clearly visible on her face.

Alexandra stopped at the sight of Skye. They stared at each other for a moment in silence, just enough time to let their hatred for the other one grow further and further.

"Move," Alexandra ordered Skye, breaking the silence.

"You, move," Skye replied instinctively.

"I'm having a really long day and it's only 5. You don't want to be next to me when lash out," Alexandra warned her.

"Oh yeah well welcome to my world. I had a shitty day too. And you are the only reason for it."

"Me? Seriously? Unbelievable! You are the most selfish slut I've ever met!"

"Slut? You bitch!"

"Salope," she smiled.

"What?"

"Sale pute," she beamed.

"Yeah right insult me in French. It is very you to turn around viciously," she spat.

"Don't push me too far or you'll regret it," she warned her.

"Oh really? Or what? Are you gonna slap me again?"

"No. This time I'll hit you harder," Alexandra chuckled darkly.

"Come on!" Sky challenged her. "I'm not afraid of you!"

"I don't wanna hurt you too badly or even your mother won't recognize you," she scoffed.

"Coward!"

"Ok you really deserve to be taught a lesson," she hissed.

"Go ahead! I'm waiting," she challenged her. Alexandra didn't wait for more, she came to her and give her a hard punch which made Skye fall down in a second. Alexandra shook her head, bemused.

"Is it all you've got?" Skye was quite surprised, even with her training session with Taylor, she had never learnt to fight like that. Even if she knew it would not be easy to win, anger was a perfect form of adrenaline. She stood up quickly and ran into Alexandra who was already walking away. She pushed her back as hard as possible and made her fall. Alexandra quickly rolled on her back, just in time to stop Skye's hands from slapping her.

"It's not finished!" She snarled. Alexandra screamed from pain as Skye was scratching her arms with her nails, making them bleed. She pushed Skye on one side and rolled on the other to stand up. Skye stood up too and the girls fought again, pulling their hair, scratching their skin, kicking their legs, slapping every part of their bodies they could reach. People were gathered around them, laughing and yelling until they saw Taylor and Mark arrive.

"Hey, hey stop!" Taylor commanded them but the girls were not listening. Mark grabbed Skye's arms while Taylor was struggling to catch Alexandra.

"What the hell is happening here?" He roared.

"She started it," they both replied, glaring at each other, panting, trying to kick the other one with their feet.

"Ok," he sighed. "There's nothing to watch, please people, move," he ordered. "You two, you come with me," he said firmly. Everybody was staring at them as they were walking to the headquarters.

"You can go Mark. Thank you," he told him once they were all inside.

"Yes sir," Mark replied before leaving the three on their own.

"Ok girls, what just happened is intolerable. Now you tell me what's going on," he asked them severely. Skye and Alexandra were both staring at the floor, arms folding, jaw clenched as hard as possible, furious. "Alex, this is an order. Tell me why you were fighting." Alexandra looked straight into his blue icy eyes, her blue eyes darker than ever.

"I thought you told me to stay out of your business. Am I back to being a soldier now?" She blurted out, upset.

"Alexandra Paris, as your commander, chief of Terra Nova, the only authority here, I command you to tell me what's going on," he roared, his eyes very serious.

"I had a really bad day. I guess she seemed to be the perfect punching bag," she scoffed.

"Skye?"

"The same," she shrugged.

"Well you have to be an example for the others. I can't tolerate violence in my colony. And as you too seem accomplices suddenly, I'm gonna lock you two in the same cell so you'll be able to discuss this hard day of yours."

"Nooo!" They begged at the same time.

"Well, you already seem to agree on another thing today. See, it's already working very well on you two," he jeered. Taylor led the girls to the brig and pushed them in a cell.

"Commander, I know we made a mistake fighting in front of people. We both know it was bad," Alexandra lied, faking her apology. But it didn't fool him.

"Alex, I'm glad to hear that, but you're still going to spend the night in this cell together."

"Damn it," she cursed. She turned and walked to one of the corners, leaning against the wall, arms folding on the chest.

"Have a good night girls," he smiled, leaving them. He locked the door and added, "And behave yourselves or you'll spend another night here," he warned them earnestly. Skye didn't feel safe being alone with an angry Alexandra. She sat in the opposite corner, arms around her knees. After an hour of silence, which seemed like an eternity to Skye, she dared to break it.

"Alex, I really think we need to talk about what happened."

"We fought, we both know why, there's nothing much to say," she spat.

"I'm talking about Lucas," she tried to say firmly, yet her voice was slightly shaking and she was sure Alexandra noticed it.

"I know what you're talking about, you idiot," she whispered, annoyed. "It was an implicit way of telling you that I don't want to talk about it."

"I need to explain myself and you need to hear it." Alexandra looked at Skye for the first time and saw how determined she was.

"Look, I'm sure you've got plenty of good reasons explaining why you did it but I don't care," she snapped.

"Actually, there's no good reason. There's only one reason why I did it and it's a stupid bad one."

"It's not gonna help to know why you did it. All I know is I gave you my trust, I gave him my trust, and you played me, both of you."

"So this is about trust, isn't it? I'll tell you the truth then."

"You said you love him, it's enough of a truth for me."

"Yes, I love him," she stated. Alexandra glared back at her, surprised by her statement, her eyes somber, yet reflecting curiosity. Skye knew it was now or never, it was her only opportunity. "I love him and he loves me." Alexandra's pain didn't stay unnoticed by Skye. "But this is not the love you're thinking about. It's a love like a sister and a brother have for each other. Nothing more."

"Well your parents obviously forgot to mention to you that brothers and sisters do not kiss each other the way you did," she scoffed.

"It was a mistake. We both know that."

"Oh so you speak for him too? So sweet."

"I'm telling you that because we both agreed on it."

"Yeah and you're gonna tell me that it only happened once and unfortunately it was just when I saw you," she said sarcastically.

"No, it happened twice actually," she said honestly. Alexandra stared at her, disbelief in her eyes. "The truth. I promised you the truth," she defended herself. "And for the record, the second kiss was the next day, when you left to go to The Badlands and he didn't kiss me back."

"Have you slept together?" Alexandra asked, eager to know more.

"No! Of course not!" Skye said loudly, grimacing. "I see him as a brother. There's no way I could... Eurk!" Alexandra's eyes narrowed on Skye, her disgust seemed real.

"I don't believe you," she challenged her. "You were kissing when I interrupted you, how do I know you were not going to end up in the bedroom?"

"Because Lucas would not have let that happen. Look, when I first met him, I was a spy and he was my boss or kinda. He intrigued me, I didn't know why. Then I learnt he was Taylor's son and I wanted to know more about him. Still, I didn't know why. When he took Terra Nova, I hated him, I hurt him, but he always forgave me. I guess at the time we both didn't know why. Then, I shot him and I thought I killed him. That destroyed me and my relationship with Taylor. When he reappeared with you, for you, I saw it as a second chance to get to know him better. I liked him instantly, instinctively. I couldn't explain why, I hated myself for being so weak, loving an evil guy like him. This is why I felt so lost in my feelings. I was with Josh but wanted to be in Lucas' life too. And you know how Lucas is, always annoying me, teasing me, mocking me. It disturbed me. I made the wrong conclusion thinking I wanted him as a boyfriend. I was lost, I had nobody to talk to, I was confused and then I talked to you."

"So this is my fault now? I told you to give it a try and you did," she said stunned.

"No, it's not your fault, it's mine. Of course it's mine."

"Look, I thought you were talking about Hunter ok? I would have never said that if I had known you were talking about Lucas."

"Of course, I know. It just messed up my minds but I know there's no excuse for what I've done. I'm sure now that what I saw in Lucas was his father. I love Taylor as my own father and I can't stop feeling the same with Lucas." Alexandra's mind was filling with questions, solutions and theories about Skye and Lucas. Why was she telling her the truth now?

"You know that I can't forgive you right?"

"I'm not asking you for forgiveness. I just want you to understand why it happened."

"Why?"

"You need to have the whole story so you can make your opinion knowing everything."

"It doesn't change how I see you now. You're still a liar to me, you are still the one I considered a friend and stabbed me in the back."

"I know. I accept that. I wish you would not blame Lucas for my behavior."

"It's two different problems. You can't solve his. And what you said won't solve yours. I already made up my mind. I can't do it, I can't accept it."

"I understand. At least I tried. I just hoped that if you had to change your mind, you would change your mind for him."

"Are you trying to be a kind of martyr or something?"

"No, I just don't want him to pay for my mistakes."

"I already talked to him and his attitude proved to me I made the right decision. And you should know that Lucas is old enough to make his own choices, stop babysitting him or you'll be disappointed," she warned her. She was not going to forget what had happened or forgive them for what they had done, but she knew she could not avoid them forever. She would have to behave herself, for her own sanity. They stayed in silence, both thinking about what the other had said. Alexandra started to feel hungry, she looked at her watch and saw that it was already 9. She was not going to be the first to bow, she restrained herself from asking Skye if she was hungry too. She tried to focus on something else but it didn't really work. She stood up and started pacing to relax her muscles. Skye's stomach let a noise escape and she started to laugh.

"Sorry," she smiled.

"It's ok. It's not like you could control it," Alexandra said, a smile spreading slowly on her face. Then her belly made a bubbly noise and they both stared at each other, eyes bright, lips pursed. They didn't know if it was because of their exhaustion, the stress or the hilarity of the situation, but they both started to laugh out loud, letting all the nervousness they had kept in themselves escape. Alexandra was crying from laughing, soon joined by Skye. Alexandra thought about everything that had happened during the day. She had succeeded arguing with her parents, Damon, Lucas, Taylor and now Skye. It was really a super shitty day. Yet, she didn't regret every word she had said or every action she had made. At least, she could make an effort and apologize for one thing.

"I am sorry for the punch," she mumbled seriously, looking down at Skye. "I should not have hit you in the face like I did."

"I'll survive," Skye smiled lightly, her cheek hurting her. "I am sorry for the scratches," she added, gesturing her hands to her cut arms.

"I'll say a cat did this," she chuckled lightly.

"A what?"

"Forget it." Alexandra always forgot that there were no pets in 2149. Most of the Terra Novans probably barely knew what a dog or a cat was.

"Dinner ladies!" A male voice brought them back to reality. They both turned to see Mark with two plates in his hands. "So I can see you two are friends again," he grinned happily.

"No," they both replied at the same time, suppressing a laugh.

"Okaaayyy," he said slowly, unsure of what was going on. "Bon appetite," he said, leaving the two plates on the floor. "And good night ladies. I hope you'll enjoy the room," he joked.

"Go away Mark before I throw this plate in your head," Alexandra threatened him.

"Wild girl," he laughed before locking the door and leaving them. Alexandra took one of the plates and went back in the corner where she was at the beginning.

"You can eat next to me," Skye said. "I won't hit you," she joked.

"You know we can't be friends, right?" Alexandra said seriously, making Skye's smile fade.

"Yes," she sighed. "Maybe with time?" She hoped.

"Maybe," she murmured. It would be the only answer she would give and Skye accepted it. Maybe was better than never. After their dinner, Skye shut her eyes, trying to sleep, but she was shaking and had goose bumps. The ground was cold and she was only wearing a pair of shorts and a blouse. Alexandra took pity on her, took her blouse off and threw it to her.

"You should wear it. I don't want to have your death on me."

"Thanks. What about you?" She asked, concerned. Alexandra only had a tank top on her now.

"I'll survive. I've slept in worse places than this one."

Skye fell asleep rapidly. In the end, exhaustion caught Alexandra too and she fell asleep in a sitting position. They spent their night sleeping on the hard and cold floor, their minds filled with strange dreams. They eventually came closer during the night to keep them warm. Alexandra was sure it was part of Taylor's plan. He was really serious this time, they had to make peace or they would stay in here. Even if she had her parents back into her life, Alexandra didn't want to lose the relationship she had built with Taylor. It was not because she had her real parents with her now that she was going to forget he was there when she had needed a paternal figure. He had been good to her and he didn't have to pay for his son's past mistakes. She promised herself she would be nicer to him, he deserved it. At least she could give it a try.

* * *

><p>Girls fight! I don't know about you but I was waiting for this one for a long time now!<p> 


	38. Free to go

I have 12 "followers", where are my 12 reviews per chapter? lol ;) Ok I hope you enjoyed last chapter. Enjoy this one!**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Free to go<strong>

Taylor had called Lucas and Damon at dawn, and asked them to come to his headquarters urgently.

"Boys, we've got a problem," he started. "And when I say problem, I mean global crisis. Alexandra and Skye have spent the night in a cell."

"What?" They both asked, surprised.

"What happened?" Lucas asked, concerned.

"The girls were fighting in the middle of an alley."

"Jesus Christ," Lucas cursed, upset.

"Why?" Damon asked Taylor. He couldn't figure out why they would have done it. On the other hand, Lucas had already a good idea why.

"Josh dumped Skye," Lucas said, avoiding the _'because I kissed her and Alexandra found out'_ part. "She was quite upset when I saw her yesterday."

"Skye is not the one I'm the most worried about. Alexandra has literally hit her down. From what I've heard, she started it."

"Why would she do that? Doesn't sound like her." Damon knew Alexandra well and was quite surprised by her attitude. He knew she was having a hard time though, being kept away from them. For all that, he was sure there was something else. Maybe something linked to Skye? Actually, Alexandra had never said why she had dumped Lucas. A theory was forming in his mind.

"I don't know. Why did she kiss you at the bar? Huh? Doesn't sound like her either," Lucas mocked nastily, reorienting the subject on Damon.

"She what?" Taylor inquired, eyes narrowing tightly on Damon. Damon glared at Lucas, annoyed.

"It's nothing commander. She was just acting to get Lucas jealous," he confessed, smirking at Lucas.

"You do enjoy crossing the line, don't you?" Lucas smirked nastily, walking to Damon.

"Lucas, you have to stay away from her. You know that, right?" Taylor warned him.

"Do you think I don't know where this would send me if I don't? Do you think I'm one of your fucking stupid soldiers?"

"Are you talking about me?" Damon asked angrily, clenching his fist, ready to fight.

"I don't know! What do you reckon?" Lucas asked furiously, stepping closer to Damon, his head inches from his.

"Ok boys, this is not a good time for a testosterone exhibition," Taylor said, pushing them apart. "We've got a more important thing to do here, remember?"

"His love for her makes him act like he's besotted. He's gonna ruin our plan if he doesn't keep to it," Lucas was talking to his father and his father only, like Damon was not in the same room.

"I can hear you, I'm right here dick head!" Damon spat.

"Yeah, can't forget that, can I?" He spat coldly.

"Stop it, both of you. Lucas, give us your daily intel on Charles and Alice."

"I might kick your ass later," Lucas continued, pointing his finger to Damon.

"Ok, Lucas, focus. What did they say to you? What do they want?" Taylor stopped him. Lucas kept his dark stare on Damon a minute then looked back at his father.

"They want me to create a key to open the portal they have created."

"They already have a new portal? Where?"

"I don't know, they didn't tell me. But it sounds like it's a movable one."

"How can that be possible?"

"I'm not sure. It's only a theory. In any case, they'll be ready soon. Once I finish my part, they'll be gone, I'm sure of it. And I won't need much time to finish it, they gave me everything I need."

"How long?"

"A week, max."

"You have to find out what their plan is. You have to be part of their plan. If they are going to leave us soon, you must be with them."

"I'm working on it. I don't want them suspecting something. They are already acting very carefully with me. They only give me drops of info."

"Do your best. I know you can do this. There is nobody who can do this better than you." Lucas didn't know if it was a compliment or an insult. Yet, he knew his father was right. He was the only one who could solve this. "Ok. I've got to go and free the girls. You stay put, both of you. Act like adults for once. Lucas, you can go. Lieutenant Keagan, you stay here." Lucas gave his father a quick odd look and left them. He didn't like his father talking to Damon alone. He hoped he was going to sermonize him for his previous attitude but he wasn't sure. He just hoped he was not going to talk tactics with Damon without him.

"What is it?" Annoyance was audible in his voice. He could feel the lecture coming and he didn't want to hear it.

"Like any addicted person, my son can have extreme reactions to get what he wants," Taylor warned him. He was really worried for his son. He really hoped that their plan was going to work and that Alexandra would forgive them for what they were doing. Otherwise, it would break his son down, they would all suffer from this. "His love for her is at the edge of addiction and I might not be able to control him. Damon, I hope you know what you're doing here. I'm well aware of your love for Alex. It's been obvious for me since the beginning. But here is not an occasion for you to steal her from Lucas."

"I have nothing to steal. He is already out of the equation. She dumped him."

"Let her be single then," he commanded him. "Do I need to add that this is an order?"

"No sir. Copy that."

"Damon, if you need to act like a jerk with Alex, you do it. You probably should do it right now so she does not think she got you yesterday."

"Yes sir." Damon hated this situation. He wished Lucas would have never come back to Terra Nova. He wished Alexandra would have forgotten her feelings for him. He wished he would have had the time to win her heart and that she eventually would have fallen in love with him. It was foolish and utopist to wish all of those things, yet he couldn't stop hoping for them to have happened.

"Morning girls," a male voice woke Alexandra and Skye up. They rubbed their eyes and noticed they were tightened against each other. Alexandra grimaced and stood up quickly, soon followed by Skye. She stretched her body and rubbed her painful neck. "I hope this night has been helpful," he teased, looking for every reaction from them.

"It has," Skye said firmly. Taylor looked at Alexandra who nodded in agreement.

"I told your parents you were working last night." He informed them. "I lied to protect your ass. Don't forget it. It won't happen twice."

"Thank you Commander." They both said.

"You're free to go. I hope you've learnt your lesson." Skye gave Alexandra her blouse back. They discretely nodded to each other, like there was a secret understanding between them, yet Taylor had the time to notice it. They were leaving when he added. "Alex, you stay. I need to talk to you." Skye gave a worried look to Alexandra who shrugged in response.

"I've heard about your performance yesterday… Climbing up the fence, huh?" Taylor started once Skye was gone.

"You should not listen to rumors," she joked.

"And what about last night?" He asked her more seriously.

"Misunderstanding," she stated, forcing a smile. She really didn't want to have a serious conversation so early in the morning.

"You used your army knowledge to hurt someone weaker than you. I would not call that a misunderstanding," he replied severely.

"Skye is not that weak," she grimaced. She didn't like the idea Taylor was implying, like as the strongest she should have never done that. Like she should have let it go, be cleverer like her father would say. Sometimes she was just fed up with doing the right thing.

"I don't understand you. Why are you so upset?"

"I am not," she murmured, annoyed.

"I can feel it. You're a pack of nerves."

"Lack of sleep maybe," she guessed. Taylor frowned at her answer.

"You should be happy. Your parents are safe and back with you. Why can't you enjoy it?" He asked her very seriously. She looked at him, bewildered.

"You know, I missed them so much that I forgot a really important thing. I forgot my father was that strict and somber. And I forgot my mother loves him so much that she would do whatever he wants. I love my mother, she's kind. But I remember now why I was not close with my parents. I was too lively to fit in their world. They need people to be calm, quiet and obedient." Alexandra didn't know why but she just blurted out the truth. One night in a cell and she had had plenty of time to think. Taylor nodded, showing he understood her. "Why did you ask me to go?" Taylor stayed silent, pursing his lips. "Time for true answers," she added.

"Sometimes some missions need to stay in private."

"I know. I understand that. It's just… I have this permanent deep anguish that can't go away telling me that something bad is gonna happen." Taylor's heart flinched at the wrench in her voice. She was expressing her distress for the first time to someone and the stress was twisting her voice.

"I swear to you that everything is going to be fine. You don't have to worry," he lied to her. He needed her to be strong, he needed her to believe him. He wanted her to feel better.

"Really?"

"Yes. Believe me," he lied again. His stomach was tightening at the sound of his lies. He was suffocating from his deceit.

"I'd like to believe you," she truly replied.

"I can't tell you everything all the time," he tried to explain. "You already know too much for a simple soldier." His voice was warm, smooth and paternalist now.

"I'm not asking you as a soldier," she answered, holding his penetrating icy gaze. Taylor knew perfectly what she was implying. She was using his feelings for her to get what she wanted. Yet, he knew she was not doing it on purpose, she really meant it.

"Look, all I can say is that this is about Lucas. I can't tell you. He'll tell you when he'll be ready. He needs a little bit of time."

"I guess I should not be surprised he kept other secrets from me," she said, the sadness in her voice betraying her disappointment.

"You'll know what it is soon. He'll tell you soon enough, believe me. Stop thinking about it."

"I don't care. When it comes to him, I don't give a shit anymore." Taylor arched his eyebrows. "Sorry if I'm gross but this is how I feel."

"What happened to you two that makes you upset like that?" Taylor truly asked, concerned. She looked away, staying silent.

"Can I go now?" She simply asked after a minute. She would not be the one to tell him what happened.

"Yes," he sighed after a moment. She started to walk to the corridor and stopped.

"I know you have a training session this week. I want to be part of it." Taylor scowled doubtfully at her. "Think about it as punishment," she added, grimacing.

"Ok. You're in," Taylor agreed, knowing that keeping her busy would help them. She'd better be occupied while they were working on their mission. "It starts in less than an hour. You better hurry."

"Thanks," she forced a smile; before leaving. When she walked outside the brig, she grimaced as the sun hurt her eyes. She blinked few time to make her sight alright again. She blinked again in disbelief as she realized what was in front of her. Damon and Lucas, standing next to the other one, obviously embarrassed to be side by side. Yet, while Damon was fidgeting on his feet, Lucas was casually leant against the wall, arms folded.

"So… You are doing street fighting now?" Damon tried to lighten the mood. Alexandra gave him a blank look.

"You are talking to me now?" She asked, arching her eyebrows, arms folded on her chest.

"Come on Alex, don't do that."

"Do what?" She said, a hint of anger pointing in her tone.

"Don't be ridiculous." Damon was doing his best to be an ass and he didn't have to push Alexandra too far to get what he wanted. Alexandra chuckled nervously, looking away, then her face was serious again. She gave a quick glance to Lucas who was there without being really there.

"You said you loved me," she said to Damon, noticing immediately Lucas' body tensed at the words. "Both of you," she added, pointing her index finger to them. Lucas scowled at Damon. How did he dare say to her that he loved her? When did he do that? Lucas was boiling inside and Damon could feel Lucas' eyes boring into his back. He was going to kill him when their mission was over. "And now, you are lying to me, both of you. You know what, you both should be together, you look like a pretty good couple of liars." Lucas and Damon exchanged a dark glance. "Your father told me I had nothing to worry about. And you know what? I've decided to believe him. Because actually he has never lied to me. So now, I'm gonna ignore you two 'cause you're such a headache! I don't wanna live that way, reading into every word you say. So you don't want to talk to me, then stay alone, I don't care. I won't talk to you either." Damon was about to argue when she raised one finger up. "Do I look like a stubborn child? Yes. Do I care? No. Now, if you would excuse me, I need a shower." She gave them a bright proud smile and left them.

"You're quite good as a jackass," Lucas chuckled bitterly once Alexandra was gone.

"Shut up," Damon replied angrily before leaving Lucas on his own. Damon was not the kind of person who would hurt people on purpose, above all people he loved. Being stupid and arrogant with Alexandra was killing him, even if it was for a good cause.

Lucas stared at Damon as he walked away. He hated the guy, yet he knew exactly how he was feeling right now. Lucas would have never thought he could be hurt by loving too much someone. Now he knew he could and he didn't like it.


	39. Family portrait

**Family portrait**

After a quick shower, Alexandra had joined the other soldiers for the training session and had been happy to see that it was Jim Shannon who was leading them and not Damon. She wanted to focus her mind on something else other than her own problems and this week of sport would help her. She had spent the day running, climbing, crawling and jumping. She was exhausted and happy to go back home. She had completely forgotten all the tension between her and her father. She was even ready to give their relationship a second chance. Wasn't that what Terra Nova was all about?

"Muuummm," she shouted as she slammed the front door. "I'm ho... me," she cut her last word, in shock. There in her living room were her parents chatting with Taylor and Lucas. She stayed speechless at the door, her mouth slightly open.

"Hello sweetheart," her mother said, embracing her. Alexandra was still staring at the three men in front of her. Her father was beaming, Taylor seemed nervous and Lucas was clearly avoiding her gaze.

"What's happening here?" She asked, suspiciously.

"I thought we should invite the commander and his son over to thank them for all they did for you and for us."

"Oh my god! Alex, what happened to your arms?" He mother asked her in a worried tone, grabbing her arms in her hands to see them better.

"Oh, it's nothing," Alexandra tried to reassure her, taking back her arms from her hands. She had completely forgotten the multitude of cuts on her forearms. "I walked through sharp branches."

"You should go and clean those cuts," she advised.

"Yes, indeed. Well, have a nice evening," she forced a smile, ready to leave.

"You're not staying?" Her mother asked, confused.

"No thanks. I'm gonna go to bed. But don't worry about me, enjoy your dinner together," she said, trying to skip this evening that already looked like too much awkward.

"We did this for you," her father said in a gentle tone, yet his eyes were commanding her to stay.

"Well you should have not. I worked all the night and day, I'm quite exhausted," she replied in the same tone, her eyes disrespectfully mocking him.

"Alex, ne sois pas irrespectueuse," her father told her in French.

"Moi? Irrespectueuse? Je ne suis pas celle qui est en train de parler en français pour que les gens ne comprennent pas ce que tu es en train de me dire !" She replied in French too, rather upset.

"Alex, va te changer et reviens," her father commanded her. She glared at him a minute, challenging him, then she spoke again, in English this time.

"I need a shower. Actually I should go and get changed. I'll join you after," she stated. Alexandra went to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She sat on the floor, her back against the door. She was very upset by her father's attitude. He always knew how to enrage her and it was driving her insane. Most of the time, there was a reason for it and now she didn't know why he was doing it. She inhaled and exhaled few times to calm herself down and went in the shower. Instead of having a warm and pleasant shower, she had a cold one. She needed to stay awake, her father was only at his first round, she was sure of it. She had to be ready for the next one.

Neither Lucas, nor Taylor, had understood a single word Charles and Alexandra had said. Yet, they were sure of one thing, the tension between Charles and Alexandra was growing, and it was not a good omen. They would have to calm her down or it would interfere in their plan.

"It seems like a lot of people have gotten hurt in your colony lately," Charles chuckled lightly.

"What do you mean?" Taylor asked, eyes narrowing.

"Well I saw this girl, at the infirmary, a little blond one, with a bruised face."

"Oh Skye, yes she unfortunately had a violent patient who hit her face," he lied. Taylor was sure Charles already knew the truth, that he was testing him, testing his loyalty to his daughter.

"You've got really young employees in here. Aren't you too afraid they don't know how to do their job?"

"Well, your daughter is a good element and she's only 22. I really think everybody has a use in Terra Nova, everybody has the potential to help. This is what it's all about, creating a new life, not repeating our same mistakes we made. Here, even the youngest know what's good and what's wrong, what they have to do in certain situations. It's very important for our survival that people can handle their life."

"Excuse me," Lucas said suddenly, standing up. "I need to use your bathroom."

"Sure," Alice smiled. "I'll show you," she said, starting to stand up.

"No it's okay, don't worry. Every house is made the same," he said before heading to the corridor.

Alexandra got out of the shower and put a towel around her as she walked to her bedroom. She took some clothes from her cupboard that she threw behind her on the bed. As she turned to get dressed, ready to drop her towel, she suppressed a shriek.

"What the hell? Lucas, get out!" She commanded him, tightening the towel against her body.

"You should not have let the door open." She shifted as he stepped closer.

"I clearly remember me closing that door."

"There's nothing I haven't seen before."

"There's nothing you are allowed to see anymore. Turn." As Lucas didn't move from his spot, she glared at him, folding her arms. They stared at each other and Alexandra decided to give up first, forced to admit this was leading nowhere. "What do you want?" She sighed as she walked back to the bathroom and grabbed some antiseptic to clean her cuts.

"Alex…"

"What?" She sighed, slightly annoyed, trying to take off the cap from the bottle of antiseptic.

"Look at me," he murmured. His voice startled her, making her realize how close he was from her. She had not seen him come behind her. She turned and looked at him in silence. Once he was sure he had her full attention, he continued. "I just wanted you to know that, no matter what happens in the future, no matter what happens between us, it's not because of you, it's not because of us. It has nothing to do with you, ok?" She nodded, unable to say a single word. She was not sure what he was talking about but he seemed really serious, his eyes begging her to believe him. She suddenly winced in pain as, too focused on him, she let some antiseptic fall on her arms.

"Let me do it," he said, taking the antiseptic from her hand. His warm hands made her shudder at the contact. One of his hands was holding her arm while the other was slowly cleaning her cuts. He was so close. She was so close. She hated herself for being so weak and enjoying his presence so much. She was surprised by the softness of his touch as he was gently cleaning her cuts. She looked at him, his gaze focused on her arm.

"Branches, huh?" He chuckled softly. She didn't say a single word, she was just watching him. She felt again this electricity growing between them, like magnets attracted to each other. She hardly swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Lucas could feel Alexandra staring at him. He quickly glanced at her with a questioning gaze before focusing again on her other arm. As he felt her eyes still locked on him, he lifted his head and looked at her with an unreadable expression. His eyes leered on her natural pink lips as her mouth was slightly opened, her breathing growing quicker, reminding him of the taste of her tongue, the flavor of her skin. His glance continued on her hair that was falling on her beautiful and round breasts. His gaze headed down as he ogled her legs. The towel was way too short for him not to notice her thin yet muscular thighs.

Lucas was fighting inside to stay put. He wanted to reach for her and touch her, he wanted to come closer and kiss her, he wanted to grab this towel and throw it away, but he knew he couldn't. He had already crossed the lines by following her in her bedroom and talking to her. His eyes came back to hers, realizing she was still staring at him with curious and inquiring eyes. She looked at him for a moment, her stomach twisting at the look he gave her. It was a personal, intimate but also inscrutable look that left her confused once again.

"I better go," he said, knowing he had to stop it now or he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He still had her arm in his hand and he reluctantly let it go. Then he grudgingly moved away from her and left. She exhaled loudly as she had been holding her breath since he had looked at her. What had just happened? She tried to wipe away this strange feeling and to forget those butterflies that were flying in her stomach. How was he able to do that to her? He had succeeded in calming her, which was twisted in a way, as she used to be the one who knew how to calm him. She quickly got dressed and joined them for dinner. She was sitting on a side of the table, her parents at each end of it, Taylor in front of her, Lucas next to him.

"I hope my daughter didn't bother you too much. I know how stubborn she can be," Charles chuckled lightly. Alexandra clenched her jaw but said nothing. She could feel everybody staring at her. She forced a smile, one that looked more like a grimace than a grin.

"Oh no, Alex is a good girl. I'm glad we have her," Taylor said, smiling warmly to her. Alexandra gave him a shy smile. She was grateful he was defending her. It softened her mood. Lucas said nothing and it didn't seem like him. He did not look at her. Actually, he didn't put his eyes on her the whole evening. It upset Alexandra a lot. Why was he doing this? He was so close a minute before and then so distant. What was he planning? And his strange advice, what was that? She would have to accept that Lucas was weird and that he was not going to be better. Maybe he had always been like that and love had blinded her. She decided to avoid him as much as he was avoiding her. Anyway, she was already too busy with her father right now.

"Well, I'm happy to hear it. She is not really like that at home," he mocked, beaming at Alexandra.

"That might be because it's doesn't feel like home," she spat.

"Not yet," her mother intervened, avoiding an argument that she was sure was going to follow.

"I'm sure you'll be all like a family again really soon," Taylor smiled to all of them. "Family is sometimes complicated. But in the end, it worth it," he said, putting his hand on Lucas' shoulder. Alexandra bit her lips, forbidding her to add something she would regret.

"Indeed Commander," Charles chuckled. "And in my daughter's defense, she has not only inherited from my best sides!" Alexandra couldn't suppress a laugh. Stress, nervousness, exhaustion, she didn't know why, but she started to cry from laughing so much. At first, it was only wet eyes and her biting her lip, then she started to sob and everybody stared at her in disbelief. That was when she opened her mouth and let escape a loud laugh. She continued to laugh under their gaze, unable to stop.

"What's so funny?" Her father asked, confused.

"You. You are funny. 'Cause for once… You… You said something… that is really, really true," she said between sobs of laughs. "I'm not as smart as you, but you clearly gave me your bloody character." They all felt embarrassed by her answer. Only Lucas had a smile that was starting to spread on his face. His father gave him a dark glance and it stopped him.

"Sorry," Alexandra said, trying to stop laughing. "I'm knackered, that's all. There's nothing funny about it," she said, trying to be serious again. Yet her eyes were wet and bright, betraying her mischievousness.

"Ooookkkkkaaayyy," her mother said slowly, rolling her eyes. "Alex if you're that exhausted then maybe you should go to bed now," she proposed to her.

"Yeah," Alexandra nodded, a smile still visible on her face. "Thank you for your presence tonight, I really appreciated it. Good night," she said as she stood and left them.

"Would you excuse my daughter," Alice said once Alexandra was gone. "It was quite strange, wasn't it?" She chuckled lightly.

"Yes indeed," Taylor said, making a face.

"My daughter is having the teenage crisis she didn't have the chance to do with us," Charles apologized.

"Don't worry, I had a teenager too."

"Yes. I've heard you lost your wife when your son was a teen. It must not have been easy," Charles said viciously. Lucas tensed at the understatement. Charles was testing him and his father.

"Well… We had our problems. We solved them though. It's not really a good memory," Taylor said, his tone making it clear he didn't want to have this conversation.

"Actually, Lucas, you were 14 when your mum died, no?"

"Yes I was," Lucas said, glaring intensely at Charles who held his glare easily, his eyes bright with the excitement of annoying Lucas.

"Alex was 14 too when we disappeared. I guess you two have this in common." Lucas swallowed with difficulty. So that was where Charles was going. Lucas' relationship with his daughter. Lucas cursed himself for not having seen this coming.

"I don't think this is the kind of similitude that helps people to like each other," he said heartlessly, no trace of feelings in his tone. Charles' eyes narrowed on him, as if he was trying to see right through him.

"Indeed. Excuse me, I've been rude talking to you about bad memories," he suddenly apologized, giving them a warm smile.

"Do you want a cup of tea or a coffee?" Alice changed the subject, standing up.

"No, thank you. I think my son and I are going to leave. We both have to work early tomorrow. Like you I presume," Taylor said, standing up too. "It was really nice of you to invite us. I guess next time it will be my turn," he added, shaking their hands.

"Yes," Charles smiled, shaking Lucas' hand. "Next time it will be your turn."

"Where have you been?" Taylor asked Lucas suspiciously once they were outside.

"Pardon?" Lucas replied innocently.

"When you left us, where were you?" He insisted.

"I told you, the bathroom," Lucas replied casually, annoyance audible in his voice.

"Lucas…" His father sighed, shaking his head doubtfully at him.

"I might have talked to her, and so what?"

"You said you would stay away from her, for her own good, remember?"

"Yeah well look at you and how you managed to push her away from you? Huh? '_She's such a sweet girl_'," he mimicked him.

"Yeah well," he said, uncomfortable. "I also said she had to behave herself and stay with her real family."

"Yeah right, that was definitely your best shot," he mocked.

"Lucas," Taylor grabbed Lucas' arm and stopped him, turning his son to face him. Lucas glared at his father, taking his arm off his grip. "I don't want this plan to hurt you," he said honestly, making Lucas drop his cocky attitude. "But here, it's not about you, it's about Terra Nova's safety, it's about taking down Charles and Alice's plan, it's about Alex's protection. I didn't like the way Charles talked about Alex's similitude with you. He is testing us and I really don't like it."

"Do you really think I don't know what I have to do? I know it. That doesn't mean I want to do it."

"But…?" Taylor said slowly, waiting for what he would say next.

"But I'll do what we've planned. I know why I'm doing it. And I won't let Charles succeed in his plan."

Alexandra was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the evening. It had been so weird having her ex with his father, who was actually the boss of Terra Nova and kind of a father to her too, at the same table with her own parents. If it had happened in other circumstances, it would have been like a real family night with her boyfriend and their parents. She smiled at the thought of it.

"Yeah, could have been great," she sighed to herself. But instead, it had been a disaster. Yet, despite the disparaging remarks of her father, Taylor had defended her And Lucas, despite his heavy silence, she had been able to glimpse some reactions depending on his attitude and especially his eyes. He seemed to agree with his father and it was the first time. This brought her back to think about what had happened earlier. Lucas had warned her about something. She didn't know what though. Or maybe he was just playing with her mind like he liked to do with people. She had to stop believing he was seeing her as someone special that he would not hurt. He could hurt her. Actually, he was trying to, no later than the day before. She had definitely lost it, he had changed into someone else. Or maybe he was back to the real him. She didn't know and actually she didn't want to know. Lucas was part of her past from now on. A knock at the door brought her back to reality. She sat on her bed as she said to enter to whoever was behind the door. Her father came in and shut the door behind him.

"Do you have a minute?" He asked, concern palpable in his voice. She nodded and he came to sit next to her. "Alex, we didn't start off well together. I know how much of a pain I can be and I apologize for it. And I know that your attitude is due to me. I can see you blame me for what happened. I understand that. I'm not saying I agree, but I understand. And if there's something you inherit from me, it's your cleverness. Don't lie to yourself Alex, you're smart. Don't pretend the opposite. I told you I was proud of you and I wasn't lying. I believe what I said." Alexandra listened to him carefully, recording every single word he was saying. "All I want is my family back. You might not remember it, but we used to be a great family and you used to love me. We were really close and I miss it. Don't you miss it?" Alexandra was surprised by his honesty. He seemed to really believe what he was saying.

"I don't remember it," she said honestly, shaking her head sadly.

"It's the truth. We used to play together. Don't you remember?" She shook her head from side to side in response. "I promised you I would tell you stories about you and I will."

"Like what?" She asked hastily.

"Like… Like when you were younger, you used to follow me everywhere. You always wanted me to ask you questions about the place where we were to prove to me you had learnt your lesson." As Alexandra was looking at him with a blank gaze, he added. "Do you believe me?" Alexandra wanted to believe him, she really wanted to, even if deep down inside her something was warning her there was a trap somewhere. Unable to speak, she just nodded. "I'd like to be close with you again. I want my daughter back. You'll give it a try, yeah?" It broke her heart to hear him beg for her love.

"Yeah," she sighed, slightly smiling.

"Fantastic," Charles grinned. "Good night Alex."

"Good night dad."

It was really strange for her to not to remember some part of her childhood. When she had first met Lucas, she had told him her memories. Only now she realized pieces were missing. She had kept some funny memories, some nice feelings. She had said she missed her parents and how great they were. Now, it was like she discovered it was not the total truth. Was it all made up? Had she lied to herself? It seemed unimaginable. Yet, here she was, with her parents, feeling like a stranger to them, like she did not fit with them. Most of all, something didn't feel right. It was a kind of nausea, something in her that wanted to get out, something she couldn't remember and that was bothering her. She didn't like this feeling, not at all. Maybe she should keep it shut away, maybe she should enjoy her life just the way it was, maybe she had to stop thinking and just live her life. Yes, she had said she would give it a try and she would, even if it meant not being really her, even if it meant losing a part of who she really was.

* * *

><p>Hmmmmm... In the end, it's Lucas who has problems to keep his mouth shut, isn't he? I think in the end it's only more confusing for Alexandra. No?<p> 


	40. Blood fever

**Blood fever**

The next day, Lucas met Charles and Alice at the lab. He needed to know what their plan was and he was going to act like he was before with them. No politeness, no airs, just frank conversation, direct with no detour.

"What the fuck was that?" He asked angrily as he entered the lab.

"Good morning to you too," Charles frowned.

"What was that game yesterday evening? Do you want my father to suspect you of something?"

"There's no way you father will find out. He's not that smart."

"How could you know about my mother? My age at the time? If my father finds out we are connected I'm dead and so are you."

"It's common knowledge. I just wanted to see his reaction towards you. I'm glad to see he defended you, protected you."

"What's the point?"

"You did a good job. He's certain you're on his side. There's no way he's gonna harm you, or us. He's so obsessed by his lovely Terra Nova that he doesn't even think about anything else."

"I'm fed up acting like I'm his prodigy son who came back to fight the evil with him. Now you're here, I want this to be over. You said you had a portal ready somewhere. My key is almost ready. When are we leaving this place?"

"Soon."

"When is that? I need to be prepared when we leave. What's the plan?"

"You don't need to know the plan. Be sure it's gonna work, that's all you need to know," he said firmly.

"Are you trying to set me up?" He asked, his eyes narrowing furiously on Charles.

"Boy, just know that the day we are ready to leave, you'll know it," he stated, ending the conversation.

Lucas spent most of the week at the lab with Charles and Alice. They didn't talk about the plan again. Yet, Lucas was sure it would happen soon. His key was ready now and all they needed was the portal, a place and a date to go to.

Alexandra spent her week with Jim and the other soldiers that were doing the training session. Actually, they were the same soldiers she used to go OTG with and she enjoyed it. They were nice to her and she had fun with them. It was really friendly and she appreciated not having to think about how to be with them. They treated her like a colleague, almost a friend, but not in a parental way or lover way, and that felt good. She had made an effort to be nicer to her parents and it worked out quite good. They were almost like a family again. She spent a bit of time with her father, talking about her job. She also started to chat with her mother about everything and nothing. She was avoiding Taylor, Lucas and Damon and it helped her to ease her temper. It was Sunday now and almost 8 in the morning. She was in the locker room with the others. They used to come there and get changed before starting the day.

"Damn it," Alexandra cursed, throwing things out of her bag, looking for something she couldn't find.

"What?" Thomas asked her.

"I can't find my bottle of water."

"Maybe you forgot it?"

"No, I remember clearly I put it there."

"Sometimes we think we did something when we didn't," he shrugged.

"Not me. I know I did this. I can clearly remember doing it."

"Well, unless you want to spend the day without water, you can borrow this."

"What is it?" She asked suspiciously.

"My spare bottle." Alexandra frowned. She didn't like the idea of sharing a bottle with Thomas. Even if she liked him, she didn't really trust him. And even if it looked ridiculous, she couldn't let this feeling go away. "I have no diseases you know," he smiled. She chuckled at the stupidity of the situation and took the bottle he was giving her.

"Thanks."

"Ok boys," Jim started. "Girl," he added, smiling. Alexandra was the only girl in this session. "Today is our last day of training. I hope you all enjoyed this week together. To end this training properly, you are going to pass some kind of exams. A few mini competitions." They all looked at each others, smiling, eager to compete. "First, warm up! You'll run three times around the area. Let's go, go!" They all went out and started to run slowly to warm their bodies up. After the three runs, they all stopped to drink while Jim was explaining what would happen next.

"Ok, so, for this exam, it's Lieutenant Keagan who's going to judge you." Alexandra nearly spat out the water she had in her mouth.

"Thank you Jim," Damon said when Jim stepped back to leave him in front of them. "Ok, soldiers. You're going to have 10 tests. Each test is based on what you've learnt this week. In every test you can earn points. At the end of the day, I'll count them and will tell you who was the best and who needs to continue training more. First: climb the rope." They all followed him to the training camp area and all tried to climb the rope as quickly as possible. The second test was a hand to hand fight that Alexandra easily won against Thomas. The third one was about precision gunshots and once again, Alexandra did a good job. They took a break before the fourth one. Alexandra sat next to Thomas, smiling.

"Not too disappointed I won?" she smiled, giving him a gentle shove.

"I'll survive," he smirked. "I let you win anyway."

"Yeah right!" She chuckled.

"I'm gonna fill my bottle with water. Do you need yours to be filled too?" Thomas asked her gently.

"Yeah, thanks," she replied, giving him the empty bottle.

"I'll be back in a sec," he said leaving her alone.

"The next test is your weakness, you shouldn't brag in front of Thomas the way you do," a voice said behind her. She turned her head and grimaced at the sight of Damon. "He's gonna beat you easily," he warned her.

"Thanks for the advice Lieutenant. I'll try to keep that in mind while I'll be running," she mocked, slightly annoyed. She knew Damon was right, the race would be difficult to win. At least, she would like to not finish last.

"Here!" Thomas said, throwing the bottle to her. She caught the bottle and drank some water. She needed to be hydrated for the race. The route of the race was inside Terra Nova. They could pass wherever they wanted but they had to pass through checkpoints. She knew Terra Nova by heart and she hoped it would make a difference. Damon called them and they all gathered around him.

"Test number 4: race. You start here," he said, pointing a place on a map with his finger. "There are 5 check points, here, here, here, here and here. The final line is in front of the headquarters. I'll wait for you there. You should do this in less than 30 minutes. Jim will lead you to the start." They all followed Jim to the start line, excited by the competition.

"Ready, steady, go!" Jim shouted. They all ran quickly in the same direction. After 5 minutes, distances began to widen between them. Alexandra was not the last but still near the back of the pack. When she reached the first checkpoint, she had no idea of her place. She ran towards the second rallying point, anyone behind her, anyone in front. There were several solutions. Either she was way ahead or way behind. She preferred the first theory. She went through shortcuts known only by her. She kept her fingers crossed, hoping she would beat some of the others. When she saw the second point, Thomas was leaving it. She accelerated her pace, eager to beat him. She remembered her father's advice and how with will and a strong mind you could succeed in everything you try. They ran neck and neck to the third point and until the fourth point. On the way they passed two other competitors. Alexandra was exhausted but wanted to continue. She was too happy to be in the race and she was quite proud not being the last. Her breathing was erratic and she could feel her body growing dim, yet she forced herself to keep running fast. Thomas looked at her, noticing she was out of breath and slowed down to stay next to her.

"Giving up already?" He mocked her, yet concern was audible in his voice. Her face was pale instead of red from the heat of the day and the race.

"Ah ah," she forced a laugh, wincing. She suddenly felt the urge to stop. She could see the headquarters and knew the finish line was few meters away only, but a deep pain in her lungs stopped her. Thomas hesitated but stopped too.

"Alex? Are you alright?" She put her hands on her knees and tried to regain a normal breath.

"I… I…" She stammered, unable to swallow properly, putting her hand on her chest to calm down. Her lips started shaking and she felt suddenly cold. It was more and more difficult for her to breath. She grimaced in pain.

"Lieutenant!" Thomas yelled, waving to Damon to come. Damon saw Alexandra leaning against the wall of a house, her face wincing in pain. He ran to her and reached her in a second.

"What is it? What happened?" He asked Thomas.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "She was ok a minute ago and then she couldn't breathe properly."

"Alex? Alex? Talk to me? How do you feel? Where are you hurt?" Damon cupped her face in his hands to look at her. She was staring at him, panic in her eyes, unable to speak, concentrating on her breathing. Lucas, who was with his father saw the whole scene from the headquarters. His father tried to stop him but he was already gone in their directions. Something was wrong. Alexandra could see Damon saying her name, but she couldn't hear his voice. She could only hear her heartbeat hammering. Her vision started to darken and she could feel her body growing weaker. Her legs couldn't hold her anymore, making her fall down. Her head was burning but her skin was wet and cold. She saw Lucas running towards her. He pushed Damon away and kneeled in front of her, his face worried. His lips were moving, he seemed to be asking questions, but she couldn't hear them. Her heart was racing in her chest. She could feel she was fainting. She tried to stay awake, but the noise her heartbeat was making in her head started to grow louder, making her sick. Inhaling and exhaling was burning her throat. She started to cough and saw panic in everyone's eyes. She looked at her hands and realized they were covered in dark red blood. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she started to cry, her aching body giving up. She felt Lucas pick her up and it was the last thing she remembered. After that, everything went dark and quiet.

Lucas carried her quickly to the infirmary, followed by his father and Damon. When he arrived, Dr Shannon was already waiting for them.

"What happened?"

"She coughed up blood," he said quickly. "She fainted just after. She was mumbling something about a hammer in her head." Lucas put her gently on a bed.

"Oh my god, she's boiling from fever!" Dr Shannon exclaimed. "Her temperature is 105 degrees Fahrenheit!" Lucas was pacing around Dr Shannon, rubbing his face with his hand, anguish growing up in him, an impression of déjà vu frightening him. Charles and Alice stormed in the room, anxiety on their face.

"What's going on?" Charles asked immediately to Dr Shannon.

"Your daughter is having a reaction to something I don't know. She passed out 5 minutes ago." Alice ran to her daughter and pulled up Alexandra's eyelids.

"Her eyes are red," she stated. "Did she spit blood? Does she have a fever? Has she had difficulties breathing?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Yes," Dr Shannon said, surprised. "How do you know?"

"Charles…" She pleaded her husband, tension in her voice.

"We know exactly what she has," Charles told everyone. "We call it blood fever. I had this disease few weeks after we arrived into the Badlands."

"How could she have this now?" Taylor questioned him.

"It takes days, weeks sometimes, to infect you. She must have contracted it when she found us."

"How did you heal from this disease?" Dr Shannon inquired.

"Alice found a cure."

"What cure?" Dr Shannon asked urgently.

"The only cure is a plant in the badlands. We need to go there right now or she won't survive," Alice warned them.

"We are going to send someone immediately to find and bring back that plant," Taylor said.

"No, you don't understand, we don't have the time. People who are not treated within 7 days end dead. We must take her there," Alice urged them.

"All right, I'll come with you," Dr Shannon stated, starting to pack medicines in a bag.

"No, you're too valuable to this colony," Taylor stopped her. "We need you here."

"I'm her doctor. I won't let her go without her doctor," she said firmly. "She's like a daughter to me," she added, pleading Taylor to let her go.

"Think about your own family Elizabeth," Taylor warned her. "You can't leave them."

"We'll take our daughter with us," Alice said hardly. "We'll take care of her."

"I'll go with you," Lucas suddenly said. "I am a doctor too. I know how to go there and I know how to survive out there. I'll do it." His father looked at him suspiciously and noticed the readiness in his voice. He was determined to go and nothing would stop him. He was clearly not asking for permission.

"Ok, but you will take two other soldiers with you," Taylor commanded him.

"There's not enough space for us and two soldiers in the car," Lucas said thoughtfully, his mind obviously already planning everything.

"I'll come," a voice said from behind them. They all turned and saw Thomas at the door. "I'm coming with you." They all looked at each other's and Charles nodded.

"What are we waiting for then? Let's go."

* * *

><p>So? What do you reckon? Blood fever? Strange how this disease appears when Lucas' work is over...<p> 


	41. Trapped

**Trapped**

Less than an hour after they had decided to go back to the Badlands, a car was ready to leave the colony with food, guns, medicine and everything they would need for their journey. Lucas carried Alexandra in his arms to the vehicle and gently placed her on the back seat. He looked at her intensely. Her pale face was covered by sweat, only colored by the red of her hot cheeks. Her temperature had been stabilized but she still had fever. She was delirious because of the fever, occasionally letting small moans of pain escape. He allowed his hand to caress her cheek and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. He sighed sadly at her sight. She looked so miserable that it was hurting him.

"I gave her some painkillers. Give her two pills every 4 hours and she should not suffer," Dr Shannon told Alice.

"Thank you," Alice said warmly.

"You're welcome. Take care."

"We will," Alice said, certainty in her tone. Dr Shannon stepped to Lucas and lightly squeezed his hand.

"Take care of our girl," she smiled friendly. "Save her and bring her back home."

"I'll do it," he comforted her.

"I believe in you. We all believe in you," she felt the need to add. Lucas didn't reply. He didn't know what he could say anyway. Dr Shannon was clearly showing him how much she cared for him. Maybe he should have thanked her, instead he forced a grateful smile and walked to his father.

"Thomas, drive them safely," Taylor commanded the soldier as he sat on the driver seat.

"Yes sir," he nodded. Taylor turned to his son who was standing next to the car.

"Protect her," Taylor said, embracing his son. "And be careful," he whispered to his ear "I'll see you soon." Lucas stepped back from his father embrace. His father stared at him a moment and they didn't need to talk. They both knew they had an agreement. Lucas held his gaze, then, without a word he sat in the car and shut the door.

"Let's go," Lucas ordered firmly to Thomas.

The vehicle left Terra Nova under everybody's stare. Dr Shannon was really worried. Taylor came and put his hand on her shoulder.

"She's gonna be ok Doc," he said, trying to reassure her as much as he was trying to convince himself.

After their departure, Alice looked at Charles and smiled to him. He gave her a wide grin and they started to laugh. Lucas, who was in the front next to Thomas, turned his head to them.

"What?"

"It's not even funny," Charles said, shaking his head. "It was too easy."

"I told you they would let you go if her life was in danger," Thomas said, laughing. "Taylor is so predictable."

"Indeed my dear Thomas, you did a good job!" Charles stated. Thomas grinned in satisfaction. His spy's work was at last over. He was back with his employers and would soon be thanked for his job. It had not been easy for him to live in Terra Nova, he didn't like people and having to support the other soldiers had almost been like a torture for him.

"You were not supposed to take her," Lucas said angrily. "You should have told me." Lucas didn't bother act like he was surprised that Thomas was the spy. He had found out Thomas was the traitor in the colony the day before, when he had surprised him while he was taking bottles of water and replacing them with another liquid. Yet, he had not known what his plan was until he had seen Alexandra collapse.

"I guess we didn't trust you enough," Charles answered simply. "I told you you just had to wait for our signal. You did a good job by the way. Nice brave act to propose you to lead us to the Badlands. Very touching!"

"You poisoned your own daughter to get out of Terra Nova, that was not a smart move," Lucas growled through gritted teeth.

"We both know it was the best solution. It was not dangerous and she's gonna be ok. Why do you care anyway? Since when do you care for the others?"

"I don't, except when it can bring problems."

"Oh come on Lucas. Do you think we don't know about your relationship with our daughter?"

"Relationship?" Lucas asked doubtfully, arching his eyebrows.

"Do you really think Mira never told us you had a crush on our daughter?" Charles chuckled, amused by Lucas' reaction.

"A crush?" He scoffed darkly. "I just needed her, I used her. I didn't even know who she was when I found her. I just used her to get closer with my father."

"Sure," Charles mocked, tightening his eyes on Lucas. "And you have no feelings for her because she was just a pawn in your game, wasn't she?"

"She was my cover. My dear father loves her as his own," he spat with disgust. "It was the best way to reach him."

"Until you couldn't stop yourself from going back to that little spy of yours."

"My spy?"

"Do you really think I would not know? I'm hurt, you underestimate me that much. Have you forgotten that we have eyes and ears everywhere?" His statement made Thomas chuckle evilly.

"You're talking about Skye?" He huffed. "Just another way to fulfill my plan."

"You seduced my daughter, slept with her, got her pregnant, shot her and got rid of the baby, you came back to her and she welcomed you back, then you kissed another girl, hurting her again. I wonder what that makes you?" Lucas clenched his jaw, madness getting to him. They really knew everything. Lucas had almost forgotten how smart they were and how they were good actors. "A bastard maybe?"

"A genius," Lucas replied coldly. "A genius always two steps ahead of the others. A genius who is always focused on his goal. A genius who created the key you need to open the portal."

"No regrets?"

"Do you really know me?" Lucas chuckled darkly. "I don't care about the others, I'm selfish and proud of it. Some might say I'm a waste of space, a lost case. I'd rather say I know what I want and will do what it costs to have it."

"Just like us."

"Yet you brought your lovely daughter with you," Lucas taunted.

"Do you really think we were gonna leave her behind?"

"Like you care. You left her many times already. What was once more?" He said sarcastically.

"Touché!" Charles smiled. "But we needed her," he said casually.

"I really can't see why," Lucas said truthfully.

"I thought you were a genius," he mocked.

"She's no use for us. She's too weak. No offense."

"That's where you're wrong. She's brilliant, I need her on our side. I need her talent."

"What talent?" He quipped. "Her brilliant limitless gift of forgiveness?" He said harshly.

"Something more… Unique."

"And that would be?"

"Haven't you notice how easy it is for her to remember everything she sees? Even the simplest things?" Lucas froze at his question and thought about it. Actually, only now, he was realizing that Alexandra seemed to remember a lot of things. She used to know where things were, what people had said or done, but Lucas had never really thought about it though. He had thought that most of the girls were like her. He had been stupid to underestimate her like that. Of course, he had always known she was special, that she had something else.

"Maybe," he just said, waiting for Charles to continue.

"She has a gift, an authentic perfect photographic memory," Charles beamed proudly.

"Since when?" He asked doubtfully. "She has shown no sign of such a talent."

"That is only because you have not really looked at her. She can remember everything she wants since she was 3. She's a genius too in a way." Lucas arched his eyebrows in doubt. "Haven't you noticed how difficult is it for her to lie?" Lucas didn't reply, he knew already too much how a bad liar she was. "It's only because her brain is thinking about everything connected to the question. Her memory is made of thousands and thousands of drawers that she can open whenever she wants. It's amazing, isn't it?"

"Depends on how you use it I guess."

"Exactly. That's where I intervene," he said arrogantly. "She needs to be used in good hands."

"Like yours," Lucas smirked.

"Like mine."

"How did you find out she had this... Gift?"

"Well, that's an interesting question. Once, she disappeared. We lost her in the crowd, she was only 3. We went looking for her for hours, we called the police, and they started to search for her. At the end of the day, the police officer told us we should go back home, that they would call us if they found anything. When we arrived at home, she was there, sitting in front of the house, calmly waiting for us. She had walked 3 kilometers by foot, knowing exactly where she had to go."

"We're here," Thomas suddenly said, stopping the vehicle.

"Where are we?" Lucas asked, looking around him. "What are we doing now?"

"Another vehicle is waiting for us," Charles said, opening the door and getting out. "We don't want your father to track us down, do we?"

"We're not going to the Badlands, are we?" Lucas asked, already knowing the answer.

"Back to your genius side, aren't you?" Charles mocked. "We're going to Sleepy Brake. Our camp is already there, waiting for us." Thomas opened the door and helped Alice to get out. Alexandra was still unconscious, lying on the last back seat. Thomas took her in his arms to transport her in the other car. Lucas stopped himself from carrying her, keeping to his story, showing how he didn't care about her. Yet, he waited for her to be safe in the other vehicle before speaking again.

"I'll drive," he stated, getting in the new vehicle knowing exactly where they were going.

"Good," Charles smiled. "Thomas, call the camp and tell them we'll be there tomorrow night."

Once Alice, Charles, Thomas, Lucas and Alexandra were gone, Taylor ran to the lab and found Damon.

"Is it working?" He asked eagerly.

"Yes sir," Damon replied, his eyes locked on a plex. "They are heading north."

"Go and pack the bags. Get the soldiers ready to leave in 30 minutes. I'll go and tell Jim about the plan." Taylor was ready to leave and noticed Damon had not moved.

"Lieutenant?"

"Commander?" Damon held up his head from the plex, surprised. He had thought Taylor was gone.

"We are going to get her back," Taylor said firmly. "We are going to take them down and she'll be fine."

"Yes sir," Damon nodded. But deep down Damon was not sure of their plan anymore. When they had discovered that Thomas was the spy, everything had made sense: why Thomas had always wanted to be OTG with Alexandra, why he had been captured by the sixers to prove he was not one of them, why he had insisted on doing the training session after Alexandra had been enrolled… They had checked every security camera and had found nothing abnormal on him. Actually Thomas was too normal. Damon had been sent to Thomas' house but had not found proof of his guiltiness. Yet, they were sure he was hiding something. When he had asked to go with Charles and Alice without real reasons, the doubt had been replaced by certainty. Lucas' reaction at the infirmary had confirmed their suspicion. He had given a rapid glance to his father, a slight nod, almost imperceptible, to alert his father. Taylor had immediately understood. The fact that Alexandra's parents had been ready to poison their daughter to leave Terra Nova and that they were the only ones who knew the cure had made him realize how far they were ready to go to succeed and how clever they were. And he didn't like it. He was scared for Alexandra's safety. He had wanted to go with them and protect her but Taylor had ordered him to stay with him. Damon knew that Lucas would do anything to protect Alexandra, but he also knew that Lucas had a role to play and it would not be easy for him to keep the trust he had earned from Alice and Charles and defend Alexandra at the same time.

Taylor hoped his plan would work. But what he hoped even more was that once their mission was over that Alexandra would forgive them for their lies. She was the type of girl who forgave easily, but it would be a lot to ask her to forgive their betrayal this time.

* * *

><p>Tricky situation… Everyone has their own secret plan. Who's gonna succeed? The good guys or the bad guys? Maybe none of them? I'll let you guess!<p> 


	42. Betrayal runs in your veins

**Betrayal runs in your veins**

Alexandra woke up, lost. Where was she? Her eyelids were heavy and she struggled to open her eyes. Her mouth tasted like rusty blood. She couldn't clearly remember what had happened. She had spat up some blood and probably fainted. She tried to sit and glanced around her. She seemed to be in a bedroom because she was on a bed. Yet the walls were rocks and there was no window. The room was lit by a few lamps in the corners. She ran her hands over her body, checking she was alright and exhaled in relief when she found nothing. She slowly stood up and started to look around in silence. Alexandra glanced to her watch. She had been asleep for 2 days. She walked at the door and slowly pulled it and she silently opened it. She slipped discreetly outside the room and shut the door behind her. She arrived in a long and thin dark corridor that seemed never ending. She walked on tiptoe, being careful not to make noise, looking everywhere so that she didn't get lost or caught. She heard some voices not far away and approached quietly from an open door. There, she recognized Lucas' and her father's voices. She froze and leant against the wall, trying to keep her breathing calm, listening to them.

"I wonder how it would have been to have you as my son in law," Charles wondered to himself aloud.

"Son in law? You're joking right?" Lucas spat.

"Well, you got my daughter pregnant, I hope you would have at least married her!"

"Do you really think I would have kept that baby?" Lucas snarled. "I would have found a solution to get rid of it."

"You're so heartless," Charles chuckled sarcastically. "May I remind you that this baby would have been my grand child?"

"No offense Charles, but I had enough of dealing with your daughter."

"I can understand that," he smirked. "She's not that easy to live with."

"That's an understatement," Lucas laughed.

"My dear daughter, don't stay outside. Come on and join us," Charles suddenly said, his eyes locked on the open door. Lucas nearly spat the whisky he was drinking and turned his head to the door. Alexandra stopped breathing at her father's invitation. She tried to recompose herself and walked in, her eyes still in shock from what she had just heard. Lucas tried to keep an expressionless face so as to not betray his embarrassment. For the first time in ages, he was deeply ashamed. Ashamed of his lies, ashamed of his past, ashamed of who he had been and who he was now, ashamed to be there, ashamed of hurting her voluntarily, ashamed of what he had said, and most of all, ashamed of what he was going to do. When she entered the room, she realized her mother was there too and a man, who looked like a bodyguard, standing next to her. The room was built in the stone with no windows, like the rest of the places she had seen, but this time, a big screen was playing the picture of a green jungle on it. It was like there was a bay window in the room. "It's not polite to listen to the others conversation."

"Obviously a lack of education from my parents," she taunted.

"Touché."

"Where are we?"

"A place called Silent Brake. But don't stay there, come and sit with us, we have important things to discuss," he said, patting the sofa he was sitting on.

"I'm perfectly fine right here," she said firmly. "What are we doing here? What is _he_ doing here?" Her father pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing, thinking about what to say.

"What do you think we are doing here?" He asked simply, not answering. Alexandra's brain was working fast, a load of questions and theories growing into her mind. She was not in Terra Nova anymore and by the look of the stone she was not in a place she had ever been or seen before. The rock was different from Snakehead Falls or from The Badlands. She had woken up in a bedroom and not in a cell, which meant she was not a prisoner, or so she was thinking. Her parents and Lucas seemed fine, which meant they were not abducted. Only the man next to her mother was a stranger, yet her mother didn't seem to be worried. Then, where was Taylor? Where was Damon? Why had her parents and Lucas brought her here to a hidden place? Why had Lucas said such horrible things on her? And above all, why was Lucas so friendly with her father like they had been friends for a long time?

"Am I dead?" She blurted out, half joking half serious.

"No you're not," her father stated, suppressing a laugh.

"Am I going to die?"

"One day, like everyone."

"Am I… Are you… When are we?"

"Something like 85 million years in the past, why?"

"So we are not in the future?"

"Nope," he said casually.

"I'm tired of your game. What are you doing here?"

"Rebuilding the future."

"Rebuilding? Hang on, have you finished the portal?"

"Almost. Should be done tomorrow."

"Why… Why are we not in Terra Nova anymore?"

"Hmmm let's just say that Taylor and I do not share the same opinion on how to use the portal."

"I was sure you were hiding something, I was sure of it," she sighed, wincing. "You're planning to go back to the future on your own. You won't help them."

"Actually, I'll help everyone. I'm going to give the future what it needs."

"Needs? Are you gonna steal this place to save the other one?" She didn't want to believe it.

"Steal? I am not stealing. I'll just take back what belongs to us."

"You're gonna sell it. You are gonna do what the Phoenix group wanted, right? You are still working for them!"

"Actually… No," he smiled. "And yes."

"No and yes?"

"Do you remember when we walked into the portal and ended here, I said we didn't stay alone for more than an hour, that a scientist from 2149 found our calculations and made a new portal with a better technology. I guess you already met this scientist," he chuckled darkly. Alexandra looked intensely at Lucas who was clearly avoiding her gaze now, staring at the wall. "When Hope Plaza sent men to secure the place, we made a deal with them. We hired the Phoenix group, we planned the attack from the Sixers, we made everything." His father was really proud of himself and it made her sick, she felt ashamed to be his daughter, she felt disgusting. She had thought that he had had no choice but to work for them and in the end he was the one who had decided everything.

"And me? Did you do this? Have you brought me here on purpose?"

"Ah no, that was a real mistake. Yet, it was for the best! We're glad to see how fate turned good for us. It was made to happen that way honey!"

"If you hired Lucas, I guess you hired Mira too. If you decided everything then… Did you ask her to torture me?" Alexandra asked, suddenly more aware of what all of this was implying.

"No, honey, of course not. It was collateral damage only. Yet, she has been punished for this, hasn't she?" Charles said, smiling to Lucas with an evil grin.

"How did you know we were going to the Badlands when we found you?"

"Oh, let's just say that Thomas has been a good help."

"Thomas?" She was stunned.

"He's a good actor, isn't he?" Her father grinned.

"The bottle of water…" She murmured to herself. "You asked him to poison me?"

"Poison is a little bit excessive don't you think? Let's just say we needed you to look like you were ill."

"I spat blood."

"Indeed. Only to emphasize the show, make this more dramatic. It worked well."

"You used me. You set me up. You disgust me. Have you ever thought that what you take in the past for the future has an impact on this same future?"

"Who cares? We can travel whenever we want!"

"You're going to destroy everything."

"No we are not. We are not in the real past," her mother spoke for the first time. "This place only has one reason to exist and we are going to use it."

"Remember, I told you that your mother and I created a spatiotemporal door connected to 85 million years, but in an alternate timeline. This alternative timeline avoids temporal paradoxes. So it doesn't matter what we do here, it has no impact on our future. It's like a clone of the earth that we can use to save the real one."

"But it's not your plan, is it?"

"Indeed, I don't give a shit about saving our planet. People only get what they deserve. They created their misfortune. People are so greedy, they want everything immediately. There's no patience anymore. The predator for humanity is humanity itself."

"It's not our role to adjust the universe. You're not God!"

"No I'm not. I am so much more powerful than God," he smirked seriously.

"You're mad. You're going to break all the rules. If you change the past, you'll change the present and the future, even if it's in a parallel world. You'll destroy everything!" she looked at Lucas; "I thought that you of all people would understand that!"

"Well, I guess you were wrong," he spat. His harsh tone startled her. Who was that heartless and distant man who was standing in front of her? She glared at him and he kept his cold eyes locked into hers.

"I trusted you," she grimaced.

"Misjudgment."

"I saved your life."

"You and your savior complex," he mocked.

"You saved my life."

"I needed you to be alive."

"You said you wanted to be with me."

"Pure strategy."

"You used me."

"Don't take it personally. I was just following a plan."

"You slept with me," she said, disgusted.

"To be honest, it was not the worst part of the job," he smirked arrogantly.

"You said that no matter what would happen it would have nothing to do with me." Lucas wanted so much to tell her he had meant what he had said, but instead he kept to his role.

"Another lie in an ocean of lies."

"You said you loved me. Was it a lie too?" She dared to say, challenging him.

"You're such a clever girl. I'm very disappointed you didn't see that one coming," he snapped. Lucas knew he had no other choice other than to say that, yet it hurt him more than he could say.

"Go ahead then, say it," she said firmly. "Say that you've never loved me," she challenged him, her eyes looking deeply inside his, ready to find the truth in it.

"I - have - never - loved - you," he replied harshly, his voice ruthless, emphasizing every single word. Alexandra felt her heart stop. She wanted so much to see he was lying, but all she could see was a total stranger in front of her, rejecting her.

"Look at her! What a hating look! If that glare could kill you'd be dead by now!" Her father was enjoying the scene.

"I thought something special was going on between us, something unique," she said coldly, disgust audible in her voice. Why was he humiliating her? She felt like the worst dirty thing in the world. "I should have remembered that people don't change. They just find new ways to lie," she said with anger. She glanced away, just enough time to recompose her face so that it was unreadable. "Why am I here? I guess you didn't kidnap me just to humiliate me in public?"

"My poor daughter, always so weak. Your feelings are always getting in the way. It's so easy to fool you."

"Not everybody can be as heartless as you are," she replied roughly.

"My Alex… Ah this daughter is going to kill me one day," he laughed.

"Why am I here?" She insisted.

"Honestly, Alex? I'm sure you already know why."

"You obviously think that I'm cleverer than I really are. Why am I here?"

"Come on Alex, you're not fooling anyone here. I know you've been playing dumb all along. You know what I want."

"No I don't," she laughed nervously.

"You've been trying to tell it to me since we met. You know it, it's in you somewhere. Let it get out. You've been trying to forget it, to restrain it, to hide it, this strange feeling you've got since you saw us." Alexandra suddenly had difficulty breathing, like there was not enough air in the room. It was harder to swallow,

"I don't see what you're talking about."

"Wow, those walls you built around you they are tough!" He taunted, amused.

"When life hurts you harder every time, you need to be stronger than that."

"There I recognize my tough daughter," Charles beamed.

"Tell me why I am here," she commanded him coldly.

"Ok, I'll help you for the start. One indication. Two words. Photographic memory." Alexandra looked at him in disbelief, her eyes wide.

"What?"

"You. Your gift."

"My gift?" She chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh my god, you really don't remember?" He asked seriously.

"Remember what?" She shrugged, suddenly feeling very stupid. Her father stared at her, his eyes narrowing on her, trying to read her minds.

"Think," he said simply. Alexandra felt a knot forming in her stomach. The strange feeling she had had since she had found her parents was pointing out again. "Come on, show Lucas how clever you are. He doesn't believe you're special. Show him that you're a lot more than a bimbo with a gun."

"Nice," she grimaced.

"Alex, use this lovely brain of yours and show us that you are a stunning hard drive with legs."

"Thank you dad, I appreciate the compliment," she said in an ironical tone. "But I don't care what Lucas thinks about me. There is nothing special about me except my psychopath parents."

"That's rude! I'd rather say visionary than psychopath," he said, hurt.

"Poor you, I'm so sorry. You should have bought a pet instead of having a girl, it would have been easier for you to control it."

"Ok, enough jokes," he stopped her. "Time for seriousness."

"I am bloody serious. Why can't you grab that?" She said harshly, annoyance overwhelming her.

"Don't you remember it?" She glared at him, speechless, pursing her lips. "Russia, winter 1999? Does it remind you of something?" Lucas was staring at Alexandra and saw her eyes flicked as she seemed to remember something. Her father noticed it too. "Ah, here we go. Your brain is still working isn't it?" Alexandra was staring at the floor, her mouth slightly agape, her gaze lost in her thoughts, her breathing growing quicker. "What about China, summer 2001?" She slightly shook her head, her eyes still locked on the ground, information filling her mind. It was like her father had unlocked a door in her brain, it was like she had kept files hidden in a part of her, waiting for him to bring them back to her. Pictures and photos of people, places, were flooding her mind. She was totally invaded by different kind of feelings, sensations. "Africa, spring 1997? Oh no, I know, my favorite one, America, December 2005."

"Stop it," she suddenly yelled, looking back at him furiously. "Stop it!" Her father had a sardonic smile on his face, he was clearly enjoying seeing her struggling.

"Wanna tell me something?" Charles mocked.

"Shut your fucking mouth!" She growled, angry. Lucas was very surprised by the animosity of Alexandra against her father. Charles must have really hurt her in the past to generate this kind of reaction. Lucas clearly didn't like the way he was treating Alexandra, he was boiling inside. He had to restrain himself from assaulting him and knocking him down. This man disgusted him, he was arrogant and selfish. And one day he had been impressed by the man. Of course, one day he had been like this man.

"I must admit, I am really impressed. You did a good job forcing your brain to forget all about it. You really improved your gift after we left you," Charles said proudly. "I shall train you later though, just in case."

"I despise you," she spat through gritted teeth, her eyes full of disdain. "I'm not your toy. I'm not your secret weapon. I won't do it again. I won't help you," she huffed.

"So this is what you think. But you'll see, you're going to help us."

"Never. You can't force me, I'm not 6 anymore, I'm not scared of you anymore."

"Oh there you're wrong. I can and I know you'll do it because your heart is your weakness." She stared at him furiously, her jaw tightening in anger.

"You broke my heart a long time ago now. You can't use it as a weakness."

"There you're wrong again. I guess you wouldn't like your little friends from Terra Nova to die in horrible sufferance?"

"You're the devil," she spat, disgusted.

"Join us."

"I'd rather rot in hell than be with you," she roared through gritted teeth.

"Then you'll have what you wish. Gordon, take this stubborn girl to a cell so she can have time to think about it."

Gordon looked like an ogre. He was big and tall, a mountain of muscles. He walked to Alexandra, his big hands ready to catch her. She reacted immediately at his touch, kicking him with her knee right in the crotch. He winced but didn't move and grabbed her throat with one of his huge hands, pushing her hard against the wall, furious. Her feet no longer touched the ground, her legs were dangling in the air. She tried to kick him but could not reach him. Gordon smiled at the sight of her struggling.

"Get off me! Stupid dumb monkey," she shouted, gasping for air, her hands pulling his wrist, trying to escape his grip. In a second, Lucas stormed out his seat and was pointing his gun on Gordon's head.

"Drop the girl," he commanded him coldly. Gordon slowly turned his head to face Lucas, his eyes holding his glare, and with an evil smile, he opened his hand, making Alexandra fall on the floor. "We do not harm women. Understood?" Gordon nodded, his eyes raging furiously at Lucas. "And you," he continued, grabbing Alexandra's arm roughly and pulling her up without delicacy. "Behave yourself or you'll regret it," he warned her severely. She rubbed her aching throat with her hands, trying to ease the pain. She swallowed hardly, staring at Lucas in despair. The man in front of her was not the man she knew. He was looking at her with disdain and antipathy, and it made her heart tighten in sufferance. She had thought for a second he was going to save her and only now she realized he was not on her side anymore. Maybe he had never been on her side at all and that thought was worse than everything. Gordon brought her back to reality, grabbing her shoulder and leading her outside. They walked along the corridor she had taken earlier but this time they headed to the left at the intersection. He accelerated his pace, forcing her to walk faster. They went down stairs and Alexandra couldn't suppress a shiver as the further down they went, the colder it was. They arrived in front of a heavy wooden door and Gordon opened it.

"Go inside," he commanded her.

"No," she hissed firmly. Gordon tilted his head, looking at her, his face unreadable. He seemed to deliberate which way to get her in, then he suddenly grabbed her arms and threw her inside. She literally flew into the cell and fell heavily on the ground, the violence of the shock knocking her out.

"I was sure she would not bow. This girl is so stubborn," Charles said to Alice once Gordon and Alexandra were gone.

"Well I wonder who she got that from," her mother said, slightly annoyed. She didn't like him spilling his anger on her.

"Sorry Alice," he said, cupping her face with his hands. "I know it's not easy for you. Trust me, it's gonna be fine. I'll have her change her minds."

"Do we really need her? We could leave her here."

"No, I want her back by my side. I want both of you with me."

"What were they? The dates?" Lucas asked, cutting them in their conversation.

"When I taught Alexandra how to use her brain to remember everything, I brought her with me visiting nuclear centers, State buildings or Embassies, you know, important places. Then I used to ask her to remember every detail, security codes, how many guards where in the room, where the best place to hide or escape was… She was good, very good," he said proudly.

"She was the best," Alice said bitterly. She seemed annoyed by the capacities of her daughter and Lucas was sure it had not been her idea to use Alexandra's talent for this kind of use. "Excuse me, I got few things to handle," she apologized before leaving them.

"Would you excuse her, it's harder than she thought having her daughter back in her life." Lucas nodded, he didn't know what to say and surely Charles was not expecting him to answer anyway. "So, let's talk about more important things. We've got a destination to choose."

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

_"I'm in here, can anybody see me? Can anybody help? […] Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now? I've been waiting for you to come rescue me. I need you to hold all of the sadness I cannot live with inside of me. I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something, can anybody help? I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear, can anybody help? Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now? I've been waiting for you to come rescue me. […] I'm crying out, I'm breaking down, I am fearing it all, stuck inside these walls, tell me there is hope for me. Is anybody out there listening?" I'm in here - Sia_


	43. Crawling in hell

**Crawling in hell**

Alexandra suddenly woke up, gasping for air, her face covered in sweat. Where was she? It was dark around her, wet and stinky. It took her a moment to remember what had happened. Her parents, Lucas, the betrayal, then Gordon. She touched her head with her hand at the memory of him. She could feel a bump on her forehead. She slowly stood up and put her hands in front of her, trying to reach what was in front of her. Walls, everywhere. She was stuck. A tiny light made its way under what looked like the door. She placed her wrist near the door and read the time on her watch. It was 7 in the morning. She had been unconscious the whole night. She could feel her body was weak and she felt dizzy. She had not eaten or drunk for almost 2 days. The lack of food and water was giving her a huge headache. Or maybe it was because of the hit of her head. Maybe both, she wasn't sure.

"Think Alex, think," she commanded to herself. She had to find a way to get out of this place. Alexandra had to escape and she would find a way. Digging was impossible, everything around her was made of stone. Her only way out was the wooden door. She had seen how thick the wood was, she could not break it. There was only one solution left. She just had to be patient and it would work. She sat in the middle of the room and waited, praying for her plan to work well. When Gordon came back to her cell an hour later, she stayed on the ground, not moving.

"Stand up," he commanded her. She didn't look at him and didn't move. He leant down to her and grabbed her arm to pull her up. She used his pull as leverage and punched him as hard as she could in the face, making him stumble. She tried to run out of the cell but he jumped behind her and managed to catch her ankle. She fell heavily on the ground, losing her breath. He pulled her back to him as her hands were scratching the ground to stop herself. He leaned to her and his big hands quickly strangled her, making her suffocate. She tried to struggle but it was in vain. He was much stronger than her and his grip tightened more and more on her throat. She started to see stars and lights everywhere, she was fainting. In a last moment of lucidity, she dug her nails into his flesh and penetrated so deeply that he had to release his grip. She took advantage of this brief moment of respite to catch her breath and turned, trying to crawl away from him.

He didn't give her much time and grabbed her hair pulling her up, making her scream in pain. Furious, Alexandra spat on his face, slapping him. The guard immediately punched her in return. She felt her lips split and blood pool in her mouth. He looked at her angrily and punched her a second time, right in the eye this time. He dropped her hair, she fell down and nearly collapsed. Her head was spinning, she could tell her cheek was badly injured, it was burning her and her sight was blurred. He came closer to her and she put her hands in front of her, trying to defend her from another punch. But he didn't hurt her, instead he grabbed her arm, pulled her up, and dragged her out, in the direction of the Phoenix headquarter.

Lucas had asked Gordon to go and bring Alexandra to him. When he heard the guard coming, his mood lightened immediately. He was going to see Alexandra and he was pleased. He didn't like the idea of her being in the cave, yet it was the best place to protect her. She would be away from the problems and would not do anything reckless there and he would deal with her parents during this time.

"Alex," he said softly, as he walked to her. She was looking down at the ground, refusing to look up at him. "Alex?" He said much more forceful this time but she still didn't move. "Would you just look at me for a second?" He sighed, feeling anger coming, his hand came to her face to tilt her chin up so her eyes would meet his, but she looked away, eyes filled of tears. His face closed off and hardened as he noticed the wounds. He felt fury boiling to surface when he saw her face covered in blood and bruises. He stared at her for a moment in disbelief, his breathing becoming erratic. Lucas looked furiously at Gordon and quickly approached him, pushing him violently against the wall, his hand strangling his throat. "What the hell did you do to her?" Lucas was smaller than Gordon, yet his madness was giving him an unknown strength.

"She tried to escape," he replied, his voice cracking under the pressure on his throat. Despite his imposing size, Gordon was clearly scared. He knew he had crossed the line and knew the reputation of Lucas, his temper was legendary.

"You should have never done that," Lucas said madly. He withdrew his hand from his throat only to be able to give him a punch in the stomach. The guard doubled over in pain. Lucas lifted the head of the guard to strike him in the face. The guard fell down and Lucas kicked him, yelling at him, spitting a word between every kick. "I… Told… You… Not… To… Touch… Her". Lucas hit Gordon until he ended unconscious. Lucas turned his head to look at Alexandra and saw nothing. He spun around, looking for her, but she was not there anymore.

"Alex!" Lucas yelled madly, running outside.

When Alexandra had seen Lucas's madness when he had discovered her bruises and wounds, she had been sure he was going to hit the guard. The second they were busy fighting was the second she ran away. She easily found her way out of the building. She had noticed the exit door when she had first walked in the corridor. She had to run now, it was her only chance. When she heard Lucas' voice calling for her, she ran faster, as fast as possible. She could hear his voice coming closer and closer. She knew he was a better runner than her, but she had to continue, she had to.

When Lucas had realized Alexandra was gone, he ran outside and saw her escaping in the thick jungle. He didn't think twice, he had to bring her back before the Phoenix group did.

"I'll handle it," he shouted to the soldiers as he ran past them so they would stay still. He didn't want them to hurt her again. When he had seen how badly injured she was, he had gone mad.

"Alex! Stoooop," he screamed. He could see her few meters away. He ran faster than her and quickly caught up to her. As he reached her and grabbed her arm, they both fell down, rolling on the ground. Lucas flipped them so that he was over her. She was fighting him, struggling under his body, her palms on his chest, trying to push him away..

"Let go of me!" she howled.

"I'm with you! I'm with you!" he said, trying to make her calm down. "I'm not your enemy. I'm not the one who wants to hurt you." He grabbed her wrists and pushed them down, each side of her. She couldn't move anymore. She glared at him, eyes full of tears. "Alex, I'm working for my father here. I'm with you. I swear to you. My father knows where we are, he is coming for us," he whispered to her. She looked at him in disbelief. She was not really listening to him, she didn't want to believe him, not after what he had said, not after what he had done. He was playing with her mind again. It was too painful to handle. "I'm so sorry they hurt you," he added, freeing one of his hands, gently brushing her cheek.

"If you're working with your father then let me go," she challenged him.

"I can't…" He murmured, his hand still caressing her wounded face, his fingers carefully touching her cut lips.

"You'll tell them I hit you and escaped," she sobbed. Her heart was beating really hard in her chest, she didn't like to be stuck, his weight was pressing her hard on the ground and she couldn't move. She wanted to free herself from his grip, her body was telling her to run away.

"You know they won't believe it," he sighed, his eyes full of pain. It was hurting him to see her suffer like that.

"Let me go, please," she begged. Lucas had never seen her so afraid and sad. She seemed really scared. Alexandra shut her eyes, pursing her lips and let escape a moan of distressed. "Please, Lucas," she said, reopening her flooded downhearted blue eyes on him. Maybe he could do that? Maybe he could let her go? It would be so easy. Maybe they could just leave together, disappear in this deep wild jungle they knew so well? It would be like before, like nothing had happened, just the two of them. Life would be easier. He wanted so much to do it but he knew he had a bigger mission to accomplish first. He needed her parents to help him with the portal, they were so close to succeeding.

"I can't, I'm sorry I can't." Her gloomy gaze changed into an angry one.

"I despise you," she said resentfully.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, shaking his head.

"I… do… not… believe you" she hissed. "I hate you!" Her eyes were suddenly full of detestation and disgust. Lucas was mad about it. "I'm glad your mother is dead. She would be so ashamed of the man you've become." Alexandra wanted to hurt him, she wanted him to pay for all of the pain he did to her. She kept glaring at him when she said it to show him how much she hated him right now. It worked well because he was furious in a second.

"Good," he spat. "Then I don't have to be nice to you." He pulled her up, caught her arm and pushed her in front of him, heading back to the camp. They walked back to the camp in front of the soldiers who were there, all watching her with scorn. She didn't say a single word all the way back and neither did he, until she saw the wooden door of the cell appeared down the stairs.

"No, please, no," she sobbed in despair. Lucas didn't look at her to avoid her pleading gaze and pushed her into the cell before locking the door. He sat on the floor, his back against the door, crying in silence while Alexandra was hammering at the door with her fists.

"Lucas! Let me go!" She yelled. "Lucaaaas," she shouted, crying. She fell on her knees, her head on the door, tears flooding her face. "Lucas…" She mumbled, sobbing. Lucas hated this situation, he wanted to open the door and cuddle her. He wanted to take her and run away with her. He wanted to take away her pain. But he knew he couldn't, it was not the plan. He had to wait for her parents to repair the portal. He was tortured inside but he knew he had to be rational, he needed the portal first, they all needed it. Yet, he couldn't stand to be so horrible to her, he hated to see her suffer. He hated himself for being such a bastard. The sound of her scream was still echoing in his mind, haunting him, when he eventually went back upstairs, his face back to the heartless Lucas her parents knew. His hatred for himself and for them would easily help him to act like he was before. Hatred had always been a good motivator for him.

* * *

><p>"Commander!" Damon called Taylor. "There's a signal! It's moving fast." Taylor ran to Damon and looked at the plex.<p>

"But not fast enough to be a car," he stated.

"It's Alex," Damon sighed in relief, smiling. "Look, it stopped and now it's going back to where it appeared."

"Something's wrong," Taylor told himself aloud. Suddenly, the signal went off again.

"Damn it," Damon cursed, upset. Taylor had placed a tracker in the car Charles and Alice had taken but also inside Alexandra's watch. He had been sure they were going to leave the vehicle one day and if Lucas had had one on him, it could have compromised him. The only way to follow them had been to follow Alexandra. When they had noticed the two trackers had been separated, they had known they had changed their vehicle and had followed Alexandra's tracker. Yet, they had lost them during the last evening, when the second tracker had disappeared. The only way to find them had been to go back to the first tracker and track them the old fashion way. Taylor was a good hunter but they had lost the trail in the jungle. Somebody had erased their tracks. There were only two possibilities to explain how they had lost Alexandra's tracker. Either they had found the tracker in Alexandra's watch and Lucas and her were in great danger, or they were somewhere the tracker couldn't transmit. The fact that Alexandra's tracker had reappeared and then disappeared was not a good sign. She could have been in the future, back here and then back in the future. Or she could have tried to escape from where she had been held, then been captured again and she was probably in big trouble now. Damon and Taylor didn't need to talk, they both knew in each case it was not good news. Their plan was already not working well. Lucas was their only chance left.

"I noted where the tracker reappeared. It's 60 kilometers away."

"We need to hurry. Let's go."

"We're moving!" Damon yelled to the soldiers that were with them. They all went back to their vehicles and they left a minute later in the direction where Damon had seen Alexandra reappear.

* * *

><p>When the cell door reopened, Lucas was not there anymore. Alice was standing in front of Alexandra. She had a bowl of water in one hand and some fabric in the other one. She approached and stopped in front of her, ready to clean her face.<p>

"Don't touch me," Alexandra warned her, slapping her hand. "I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. Your face is awful, you need it to be cleaned."

"I don't need your help. This happened because of you in the first place."

"No, it happened because you tried to escape. Otherwise, Gordon would have not touched you."

"Gordon," she scowled. "You say his name like he's a friend!"

"He is just doing his job. You'll see he's not a bad person."

"I'll see nothing! Are you mad? I'm not gonna be friends with that psycho! Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Don't raise your voice like that. It won't help. And you are making your cut lips bleed again," she said calmly. She took a piece of fabric and pressed it against Alexandra's bleeding lips. Alexandra didn't move, staring at her mother. She was so calm, it always used to calm her.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered painfully.

"Because it needs to be done."

"No, I mean, why are you doing this?" she gestured her hands, showing the cave.

"You'll stay here until you are ready to come with us."

"Mum…"

"Your father and I would be so pleased if you accept to join us." Her eyes were begging her to say yes. Alexandra felt her heart clench and a knot forming in her stomach.

"Are you insane?" She asked her seriously. "Do you really think I can come with you? Haven't you notice who the hell he is? He's mad, obsessed with his plans, he's gonna destroy everything! People are gonna die because of him!" She was shouting again, making her mother step back.

"Alex, calm down now. Don't talk about your father like that. Show him more respect."

"Respect? Respect? Honestly?" Alexandra yelled, her eyes reflecting fury. Yet, her mother was still calm. "What's your angle in this?"

"I do what I think must be done."

"Taylor won't let you do this."

"Taylor?" She sneered with disdain. "Taylor has no idea who we are, what we are doing, he doesn't' even know his own son is plotting behind his back. He won't come and save you. Forget this stupid hope. You're alone here unless you accept our offer."

"Aren't you too tired of being that stupid all the time?" Alexandra replied harshly.

"Alex, take it easy," her mother warned her.

"Easy? Go to hell!"

"Ok, I can see you're upset, I'll leave you and you'll have more time to think about it on your own."

"Great, go on, leave me like you always have."

"I leave because you just ask me to."

"No you run away because you know I'm right."

"You know nothing."

"You're just his tiny inoffensive little pet, always following him without a protest," she spat.

"Don't say that," she warned her, shaking her head.

"You're his puppet. Can't you see that?"

"You know nothing about him, nothing about us, nothing about love, nothing!" She yelled at her. Alexandra was so shocked by her mother's reaction that she stayed speechless, mouth slightly open. "He is my husband, I love him and he loves me. Maybe you don't understand why, maybe you don't comprehend the way we love each other, but I will always be on his side."

"I'm your daughter! I'm your family! How can you say that?'

"Because this choice is easy for me! Your father wants you with us, he thinks you're worth it. I want you to be with us for his happiness. It's him that I love, not you."

"I am your daughter," Alexandra mumbled in distress. "You should love me too, you should protect me, you should help me, you should…" Tears started to run down her cheeks as she was begging for her mother's love. Her own mother had just said she would choose her father over her, always. She had always thought her mother loved her more than her father whereas it was the total opposite. Her mother was kind to her, for him. Then what could she do? There was nothing to do or say to change her mind, it was obvious now. She had always seen her mother like a captive wife, too afraid to confront her husband, too afraid to upset him and in the end, it was a lie. She was on his side because she wanted to, because she cautioned him, she accepted everything he did because she agreed with it. It was like her mother had stabbed her right in the heart. She was sure she could feel it bleeding from pain. She had nothing, nothing left to hold on, she was alone, totally alone. She let her body fall on the hard and cold ground, unable to stay standing anymore. She was feeling sick, breathing was hard and painful. Her mother kneeled down to her.

"We can be a family again. You just have to say it. Say the word," she murmured to her ear.

"I'd rather die," she replied sharply, eyes burning with disgust. "How can your love be real when you're a total fake?"

"Then I'm afraid I cannot help you," Alice said dryly before leaving her in the dark, dirty and cold cell.

Alexandra grabbed the bowl of water and washed her face. It was cold but it felt warm to her. Once she was refreshed and hopefully with no more blood on her face, she started pacing in the cave, thinking. She was cross, she could feel hatred growing in her. Her life was so damaged and it was all because of them, because of her parents. Everything that had happened to her, every bad thing she'd been through was because of them. The abandon, the loss, the torture, the pain… After a minute, this anger vanished and was soon replaced by distress. She was alone with her sadness. She had nowhere to go to and she couldn't trust anyone. She couldn't stop thinking about what Lucas had said about working with his father. Was he really telling the truth? Then why didn't he let her go? Yet she remembered their conversation the day before really well. He had said he had lied to her, that he didn't love her, that everything was a trap. Deep down, she hoped that if he had lied to her since her abduction, it was when he had said that, otherwise it would mean that her whole life in Terra Nova was a lie. And if it was, she would not be able to stand it, she would not survive such a betrayal. But there was no reason for him to lie like that, to hurt her on purpose like he did. And he was working with her father, there was no doubt about that, they would have a new portal soon. She really thought she could trust him. Of all the people she knew, he was the only one she always thought she could trust. Since the beginning, the first time she had met him, she had believed in him. Now, she was feeling utterly stupid, abused and used. She didn't want to go with her parents, she didn't want to run away because she had no place to go to. She would die in Silent Brake, she knew she could not get back to Terra Nova by foot. She had no idea where she was. And Taylor would not come to save her because he didn't know where she was. Taylor… He had promised her nothing would happen. He had sworn she had nothing to worry about. A lie, again. Maybe a Taylor family thing. They all plotted behind her back. They all knew the terrible truth about her parents and yet they lied to her. Nothing was making sense anymore and for the first time in her life, she didn't know what to do with herself. For the first time in her life, she could see no way of getting out. For the very first time in her life she thought about death. Maybe it would be easier that way, at least she would not feel the abyssal gap of pain she was feeling right now. Who would care anyway? She had lost everything she believed in, she had been betrayed by the closest people she had in life and there was no solution to end this nightmare. Maybe dying was the best answer after all.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

_"Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? Travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused. I wanna use you and abuse you. I wanna know what's inside you. Hold your head up, movin' on. Keep your head up, movin' on. Movin' on! I'm gonna use you and abuse you. I'm gonna know what's inside. Gonna use you and abuse you. I'm gonna know what's inside you." Sweet dreams - Marilyn Manson_


	44. Until it bleeds

Hi everyone, so this is "the" chapter when everything changes. I hope you'll like it. Sorry I haven't update sooner but this was an important chapter and I really really wanted you to see, to feel, to live that scene. I hope you'll see what I wanted to show you. Anyway it's done and it's here so let's get started! Thanks everyone for your reviews. It's always a pleasure to read your comments. I like to have my fans! J You are all marvelous. Thanks for supporting me, I really appreciate it.

* * *

><p><strong>Until it bleeds<strong>

"Commander, this is here," Damon showed Taylor.

"There's nothing here," he frowned.

"Excuse me, sir, but you're wrong," Damon replied.

"Pardon?"

"There is a mountain, just in front of us, sir."

"And?"

"And I think it's a perfect place to hide something, or someone, in it."

Taylor looked at Damon in disbelief and looked back at the mountain in front of him. His eyebrows furrowed as he realized that Damon's theory could be right. They had driven to the point where they had last seen Alexandra's tracker. She had to be there, somewhere. They stayed hidden behind trees and waited in silence. After an hour of patience, they were eventually rewarded as a man seemed to appear from nowhere.

"Set the bombs. Tell everyone to be ready. We are attacking," Taylor commanded Damon firmly. He was ready to fight. Ready to take back what belonged to him. He would prove to Charles and Alice that no one betrayed him without consequences.

Lucas was conflicted after what had happened with Alexandra. He was trying to listen to Charles' conversation but his mind was far away. All of his thoughts were in the cell with Alexandra, her cries echoing in his head.

"You're not listening," Charles suddenly said, stopping Lucas in his thoughts.

"I am," he replied steadily. "I just don't need you to remind me how this device works. I was there when we built it. I know it's a portable one that can be use everywhere. But what I do not know is our next move. You didn't tell me what was the plan. We open the portal and then what? Who's coming?"

"All of us. Why?"

"Some of us should stay here. Someone needs to stay and watch our backs."

"No. We don't need to leave someone here. We are not coming back here afterwards."

"Still, I think we should delay our departure."

"Are you planning on stopping us here?" Charles asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"No, of course not."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I still don't understand why you want your daughter with us. What's the point?"

"We already had this conversation. She's coming."

"I don't think she's gonna help us one day. Clearly she hates you. Both of you," he added, gesturing at Charles and Alice. "She hates me too. How are you going to handle her?"

"We haven't come so far to step back now. This device is perfect. You should be thrilled about it, not bothering about details. Alex is _my_ daughter and _my_ problem." Suddenly, a bell rang warningly in Lucas' head. He couldn't do that. He couldn't let them take her. Alexandra was the only person that had never disappointed him. The only one who had never betrayed him. The only one who had never lied to him. The only one who had always been by his side. The only one who had always chosen him over everyone else. He had never thanked her for that. She had given him hope, something else to live for, and he had betrayed her, hurt her, so many times already. He couldn't leave her there, he couldn't. He was doing exactly what everyone had always done to him, he was dropping her, abandoning her. No, he couldn't do that to her, he couldn't. His decision was made and everything seemed suddenly more obvious. He knew what he had to do. He was going to free her. No matter if his father was not arrived yet. He was already too late. Lucas had made his decision.

"I want her to stay here," Lucas said calmly, yet in a commanding tone.

"No. Out of all of us, if someone is sure to come, it's her."

"I don't do well with ambiguous threats," Lucas warned Charles. "What are you saying exactly?"

"That I don't need your help anymore. I've been generous with you in the past, haven't I? Don't make me regret it."

"She is going to stay here," Lucas said coldly, stepping in front of Charles, stopping inches from his face.

"Don't disappoint me, son," Charles warned him dangerously.

"You should know I'm not a very good son."

"I don't want to kill you."

"I'll kill you first," Lucas whispered in Charles' ear. Charles stiffened as he realized Lucas' gun was pressing on his ribs. Lucas was ready to fire. There was no turning back now and he had only one thing in mind.

"We are being attacked!" A voice suddenly yelled in a walkie-talkie, breaking Lucas' attention for a second, just enough time for Charles to escape his vigilance. Lucas spotted Charles nodding slightly and then everything went dark. Gordon had knocked Lucas down. He collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

"Alice, follow me. Gordon, go and bring Alexandra out," Charles commanded as he grabbed the device and put it in his pocket. "We are leaving."

"What about him?" Alice asked, looking at Lucas.

"Let him stay here if it's really what he wants," he mocked nastily. "He's not valuable anymore."

Sat in a corner of the cell, Alexandra was thinking about the people she loved and had loved. It made her ache with loneliness. It seemed like a lifetime since she had been happy. Like a long dream that had deteriorated into a deep and dark nightmare. Yet it was not a long time ago that she was happy living with Lucas, surrounded by loving people who seemed to care about her. Now, everything was different and she couldn't even catch a glimpse of what it was to feel safe and sound. She jumped as Gordon slammed the door and ran to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed instinctively, trying to pull her arm free.

"You shut your fucking mouth," he threatened her, showing her his knife and holding it close to her chin. "Or I will cut your tongue," he added, giving her a demonic smile. Alexandra swallowed back her insults and glared at him.

"Good." He pushed her out of the cell but she didn't walk. Instead she stayed down the stairs, her gaze locked on it.

"Don't be stupid," he warned her. As she didn't move, he pushed her violently on the stairs. He quickly climbed them and she tried to kick him with her leg in defense, but she missed him. He didn't wait and plunged his knife deeply into her thigh as a punition. Alexandra's eyes widened in shock as she felt the knife entering her skin. A scream of pain escaped from her as Gordon slowly took the blade from her flesh.

"Daddy said I couldn't kill you. He didn't say I couldn't play with you," he whispered roughly to her ear before throwing her on his shoulders.

Suddenly, the ground seemed to crumble under his feet and he lost his balance, dropping Alexandra down the stairs. He put his hands on the walls to stay standing as Alexandra fell heavily on the ground. She tried to sit but her back was aching from the fall. She looked up to see anxiety on Gordon's face as he looked up to the ceiling. The ground began to tremble again, making Gordon stumbled, worried.

A third quake shook the whole cave and some rocks broke away. One of them, a big spiky one, fell straight on Gordon's head. He seemed to struggle to stay still, his eyes lost in Alexandra's and his legs suddenly dropped him off. He fell forward, right on Alexandra, who had no time to move away. The violence of his fall multiplied his weight, caused Alexandra to lose her breath. She heard a horrible broken sound coming from her chest when his body entered in contact with her, followed by a deep pain. She first thought she had been stabbed, but as the blood started to run down her shirt she realized it was not hers. She tilted her head up and saw Gordon was not moving anymore. She managed to get one of her hands out from under his body and put her fingers on his throat, looking for a pulse.

She began to cry, her lips trembling with fatigue as she realized Gordon had stabbed himself in his fall. She cried and chuckled at the same time, stress catching up with her. Gordon's lifeless body was beginning to feel heavier, preventing Alexandra from breathing properly. She took all the strength she had left and tried to push away this lifeless body. After a few tries, she managed to roll it to the side and break free from his grip.

She tried to get up but as she put her foot down, pain thundered her, making her fall down on the ground. She looked at her thigh and remembered that she had been stabbed. She leaned over the wound to see if it was deep. She needed to compress the cut to prevent it from bleeding too much. She looked at Gordon and after a moment of hesitation, she took a deep breath and grabbed the knife that was planted into his heart. She cut a portion of her jeans with it so that the opening was larger, allowing her to look at it more easily. She gently touched the large cut in her flesh. The wound was deep, enough to make her suffer if she had to walk. She tore part of her shirt and tied it tightly around her thigh, wincing in pain as she knotted it.

She stood up slowly and clenched her teeth, letting out a small groan of pain. It was really hard to breathe, her broken ribs acting like knives on her lungs. Her leg was painful but she would be able to walk if she put the most of her weight on the other one. She put one of her hands on her chest to ease the pain and took a deep breath. With the knife tightly clenched in her other hand, ready to use if needed, she left the cave limping. As she walked out of it, her mouth dropped open in surprise. It looked like a war was raging outside. The soldiers of Terra Nova were everywhere, as were the Phoenix's soldiers. Some were fighting hand to hand, some others were shooting. She quickly noticed her father running away with her mother, Taylor behind them. Taylor pointed his gun to Charles, threatening him.

"Stop!" He commanded him. As Charles didn't obey, Taylor tried to shoot him in the shoulder, but Alice put herself in the way to protect her husband. She received the bullet right in the chest and fell clumsily on the ground under Alexandra's eyes. Charles turned at the sound of the shot and saw her wife's unconscious body laying on the ground. Like in a slow motion scene, he stared at her and then glared at Taylor. Charles let a groan of fury escape and ran into Taylor. They started to fight angrily, punching each other.

Charles was not a soldier and didn't know how to fight. His mind was his main weapon. But there, anger was driving him and he found strength he never thought he had. At this second, Alexandra didn't think about what her mother had said to her earlier, she only listened to her heart. Her mother was hurt and she had to rescue her. She quickly ran to her, forgetting the pain from her wound that was invading her, and kneeled down next to her.

"Mum?" Alexandra's body was shaking. She suddenly felt very cold and her heart was hammering in her chest.

"Alex…" Alice's voice was almost a whisper. Alexandra put her hands on the bullet's hole, trying to stop the bleeding.

"It's gonna be alright Mum. It's gonna be alright," she stammered. There was blood everywhere and she couldn't stop the wound from bleeding. "Help!" Alexandra looked around her, everybody was fighting and nobody seemed to notice her. "Help me!" She cried again, but her voice was covered by the noise of the shooting and fights. Alice started to cough, her breathing erratic, her eyes wide open in pain.

"Help! I need help," Alexandra screamed again but no one was listening to her. Alexandra could see the life running away from her mother. "Help me," Alexandra sobbed hopelessly, her eyes filling with tears. She leaned to her mother and gave her a kiss. "I love you mum," she murmured, her hand gently caressing her hair. "I love you… as you are." Alice looked at her and forced a smile.

"My daughter and her feelings," she chuckled awkwardly. Alexandra stared at her mother, unable to move, as Alice took her last breath.

"Mum…" Alexandra mumbled, in shock. She stayed still next to her mother, observing her dead body, waiting for a movement to prove to her she was still alive, but nothing happened. It was as if her mother's death had knocked out every wisp of air from her lungs. She didn't remember how to breathe, how to speak. The scene of her death was repeating in her head. She wiped away the tears that were running on her cheeks and realized her hands were covered in blood. Actually, her clothes were soaked in blood. Her mother's blood. Gordon's blood. Her own blood. She stared at her hands helplessly, incapable of understanding what she was looking at. Nothing seemed to made sense. Someone pulling her up violently and suddenly woke her up from her confusion. Her father had grabbed her arms and pulled her up. He dragged her with him to a cliff.

"Let her go!" An angry voice shouted from behind them. Charles turned and saw Lucas standing few meters away from him, his gun pointed in his direction. Charles took Alexandra's knife and placed it under her throat, threatening to harm her.

"Let us go!" Charles ordered.

"Let the girl go first!" Taylor yelled.

"No way, she's coming with me," Charles replied firmly. "It's the two of us or none of us," he threatened them, putting the knife tightly on Alexandra's throat.

"You have no way out. Surrender while it's still possible!" Taylor told him. Then he saw an evil smile kicking at the corner of Charles' lips.

"That is where you're wrong," he snarled.

Taylor wanted to shoot him but he couldn't. Charles was protected by Alexandra's body. He couldn't risk hurting her. Taylor looked at Alexandra with meticulous care. She was only the shadow of herself. She reminded him of the first day he had met her. She was in shock and wounded, yet she had the flame of life in her eyes. Now, it was a totally different situation. She looked like an empty broken doll. Her clothes were covered in blood, making her look like a zombie.

Everybody was shouting, asking the other ones to drop their guns. Nobody was really listening to the each other. Only two people were quiet, Lucas and Alexandra. Lucas had lowered his gun and his gaze was locked on her. Her expression was unreadable. She seemed empty, like something had broken inside. There was no trace of hope or life in her eyes anymore. Her pale face was still bruised, reminding him of what she had been through. She had dark circles under her eyes, showing she had not slept in days. Her whole body was betraying her, showing everybody how hurt she was, how weak she was.

Alexandra looked around her, the sounds and shootings seemed so far away. It was almost like she was deaf, watching a weird but familiar scene on mute. People she knew were there. She knew them but couldn't recognize them. Taylor, Damon, Lucas… They were strangers to her. Traitors. Alexandra didn't know why but she suddenly remembered a song. Particularly one sentence of it, '_I gave my all, did my best_'. Yes she had done her best. She had tried a lot to fit in this world but had failed. Love, trust and forgiveness should have brought her happiness and care. Instead, it had only brought her pain, loss and hatred. It was not worth it. Her life was not worth it. Everything she knew was wrong. Her life was a lie. The people she knew had lied to her.

As she was staring at her mother's lifeless body without really see it, something set in her mind. She didn't want to feel again. Never. As a plan started to play in her head, she knew she was ready for it. She had already cried too much. She had been squeezed like a lemon until she was totally empty of emotion and her tears had dried up. She felt deeply hurt, full of sadness and totally empty at the same time. Nothing really mattered anymore. She was tired of fighting endlessly. She was exhausted of being strong all the time. Depression overwhelmed her. She wanted it to end, she wanted to leave, she wanted the pain to go away. She was just a pawn in their game anyway. A toy they used to dispose when they wanted. They would not care if she was gone. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Then she felt free to act as desperately as she wished.

Lucas saw her murmur something and take a deep breath. Lucas didn't know what she was going to do but could only fear it was something desperate. He shook his head at her, begging her not to do anything reckless, his eyes anxious. She gave him a last determined look and shut her eyes.

She felt so numb she couldn't even cry. Only one tear found its way out of her eyes. As the tear ran down her cheek and fell down, she suddenly grabbed her father's hand that was holding the knife and slid it across her throat, cutting into her flesh, blood streaming profusely on her. Surprised but reactive, Charles held back the knife, preventing it from going too deep into her skin. In the action of the movement, they both toppled from the top of the cliff.

"Noooo!" Lucas screamed in despair as they disappeared from his sight.

The silence that followed seemed like an eternity, as if time had stopped for a moment. They all held their breathing until a huge electrical noise was heard and a large blue light appeared. They all ran over the edge of the cliff just in time to see the portal closing. Charles had managed to turn the key in his fall, taking Alexandra with him.

Lucas couldn't breathe anymore. She was gone. She was gone and he didn't know where. He didn't know when. She was hurt and he couldn't help her. He had only felt this helpless once before, when his mother had died. He had promised himself that he would never feel like that again, but there he was, standing at the top of this cliff, staring down, hopeless. He knew that he would have given his life for hers, but now he couldn't do anything. He had failed. All of a sudden, his heart broke in millions of pieces, his ribcage feeling empty. His whole body had been emptied of emotion, the loss of Alexandra too big to hold it.

Damon was as stunned as Lucas, unable to move from his previous spot. He dropped his gun on the ground in shock. How could that have happened? How? Everything had happened so quickly. They hadn't had the time to prevent it. They had not seen it coming. Why? Damon felt useless. He had no answer and didn't want to think about it anyway. They had lost her. They had failed. He had lost her. He had failed. He could feel the numbness invading him, his vision blurring from tears that didn't want to fall from his eyes.

Taylor did not stop giving orders until he had no more to ask for. Keeping him busy was helping him not to think about what had just happened. He didn't want to face the inevitable. He had failed his promise. He would not come back with her. She would not be safe in Terra Nova. She was not there with them. She was lost. She was alone. And he was the only one to blame.

An hour later, Lucas was still staring at the space where the portal was. Taylor was really worried about his son. He could see how much his son was thinking, his face darkening more and more as the time was passing. Taylor stepped towards Lucas, placing his hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"Come on, son," Taylor said softly.

"Don't call me son," Lucas spat coldly, ripping his shoulder out of his father's grip.

"Lucas, we can't stay here. We have secured the perimeter. We're gonna leave a camera here, just in case. But there's nothing left to do." Lucas clenched his jaw, his face reflecting the fury growing up in him.

"I should have never listened to you. I should have known it would end like that. It always ends like that with you."

"Lucas, don't say that, I…"

"This is all your fault," he roared, stopping him. "I will never forgive you. Never." Taylor stared at his son in disbelief, the madness in his eyes making him shiver. Lucas glared at him and then walked away. Taylor stayed speechless. His son was suddenly back to the old wild Lucas he had lost years ago in the jungle. And this time, there was no Alexandra to bring him back to reason. Taylor froze as he finally understood that he had lost a lot more than he had thought today. There were too many casualties and he had saved no one. He had lost the portal, his son, Alexandra and probably the faith and the trust of a lot of his soldiers, starting with Damon. Soon, the colonists might distrust him as well when the supplies from 2149 will be low. As a leader, he had to keep his promises. But this mission was a failure and he would have to pay the price of it. Besides that one day or the other, they might be attacked again because of his misjudgment. He will have to find a solution to repair his mistake. Until then, he would not allow himself to rest.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

_"Would you mind if I hurt you? Understand that I need to. Wish that I had other choices than to harm the one I love. What have you done now? I know I'd better stop tryin. You know that there's no denying. I won't show mercy on you now. I know, should stop believing. I know, there's no retrieving. It's over now, what have you done? I've been waiting for someone like you. But now you are slipping away... Why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us, between me and you. […] Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to? 'cause you have turned into my worst enemy. You carry hate that I don't feel. It's over now. […] I will not fall, won't let it go. We will be free when it ends." What have you done ? - Within Temptation_


	45. So cold

**So cold**

Hi everyone! So, until the next chapter, I wanted you to feel how all of the characters were feeling after what happened. This is like a last final scene before next season. There's a song that clenches my heart every time I listen to it and I think it's perfect for them. Imagine this scene being filmed as a journey going from character to character and scene to scene, while the music is on. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

_"Oh, you can't hear me cry. See my dreams all die. From where you're standing on your own. It's so quiet here and I feel so cold, this house no longer feels like home. Oh, when you told me you'd leave, I felt like I couldn't breath, my aching body fell to the floor. Then I called you at home, you said that you weren't alone. I should've known better. Now it hurts much more. You caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason. I can't figure out why... Why I'm alone and freezing, while you're in the bed that she's in." So cold - Ben Cocks_

* * *

><p>Elizabeth and Jim are both in their house, looking lovingly at Zoe who's playing with her doll. They are hand in hand, squeezing them to give them strength. Elizabeth's eyes are full of sadness and Jim's face is worried.<p>

Maddy and Mark are in each other's arms soothing each other. Tears are running on Maddy's face. Mark's face is reflecting concern.

Skye is alone, crying in the corner of her bedroom with her arms around her knees. Her mother is looking at her from the door, her face reflecting pain. She walks to her daughter to comfort her even though she knows she can't really help her.

Josh is sitting outside his house on the marches, eyes wet, on the verge of crying. His lips are pursed, and he is fidgeting his fingers, upset as he looks away.

Damon is staring off into the distance, his eyes are empty. He is lost in his thoughts. Trinity sits next to him, putting her hand on his and looking carefully at him. His gaze is blank and Trinity stays silent with him, her presence supporting him.

Taylor is standing outside his headquarters, his icy blue eyes looking at his colony. His jaw is clenched and his hands grip the barrier. His face is full of grief.

Lucas is sitting on the floor of a dark place. Empty bottles sit next to him. He is crying deeply in his hands, cursing himself and panting. He is heartbroken and unable to stop crying. His face is deformed by the devouring pain. All of the brightness of his intense green eyes is gone, leaving just an abyssal sadness.

Alex and Charles are standing together at the top of a brand new Hope Plaza, observing the soldiers at the bottom. There is a dark red scar on Alexandra's throat. Both faces are as cold as stone and there is determination in their eyes as they stand there with their jaws tightened. There is resignation in Alexandra's eyes and readiness in Charles' gaze.


	46. The girl from nowhere

Thanks everyone for your last reviews! Special thank you to Lexi! Your big comment made my day! I'm glad you like my story and I'm happy to see that you think you can "see" what I want you to see. So thanks. Ok, so here we go again! Chapter 46 for your pleasure!

* * *

><p><strong>The girl from nowhere<strong>

It was a normal morning in Terra Nova. Taylor was up in his office, carefully watching the people he had to protect. People were chatting in the market, walking around, enjoying this sunny and warm day. Life was back to normal… as normal as it could be. The last year had been hard. Losing the only way to go to the future had not helped to lighten the mood of the Terra Novans, but they had found a way to survive this. They didn't have a choice anyway.

For a year now, Taylor had struggled to keep his colony safe and sound, in peace. One year living in fear; fear of being attacked, fear of losing control of Terra Nova. Taylor had already lost so much, he couldn't lose his colony, not after Alexandra had gone, not after his son had gone. Taylor sighed at the memory of his son's departure. Lucas had not been able to live in Terra Nova after what had happened a year ago. He had lost his temper too many times. He had become uncontrollable. Taylor had not tried to stop his son when Lucas had told him he was leaving. Even if it had hurt him, he had known it was the best solution for both of them.

A huge crack, followed by the appearance of a big blue light in the sky, brought Taylor back to reality. It made that peaceful morning turn into panic from everywhere. A portal had just popped out from nowhere. It was a few clicks away from the gates, in the air.

"Everybody in their house, NOW!" he yelled as he ran inside to grab his guns. "Damon! Jim! Gather every soldier and get to the gate!" Damon and Jim nodded and started to tell everyone.

"Mark! Protect the civilians. Make sure they're all safe in their houses," Jim commanded him.

"Yes sir," Mark replied and walked away to execute his duty. Taylor, Damon, Jim and the soldiers ran outside the gates and hid themselves around the portal, waiting for what was coming. Taylor expected the worst to come, but he was ready to fight for Terra Nova, his Terra Nova. They didn't wait too long before they saw somebody falling from the portal, followed by another one who fell on the other person, rolling on the ground easily and standing up quickly. It was a girl with long braided dark blond hair, wearing a blue blouse, a pair of blue jeans and brown boots. The girl ran back under the portal which was still open in the air, grabbed a gun from the dead body she had jumped onto and started to shoot where she had just arrived. Suddenly, a deafening noise came out from nowhere. The girl stopped shooting and ran away from the portal, just before a helicopter crashed down. The explosion threw her away, making the ground tremor. As the rest of the helicopter was burning on the ground, the girl stood up, brushing her trousers as she walked back to it, gun still in her hand. That's when Taylor decided to show up.

"Hands up! Hands up! Drop the gun! Drop the gun!" They all yelled at her. The girl stopped, her back turned to them. She seemed to hesitate and then slowly raised her hands up. Taylor noticed some rope was tied around each of her wrists, that was when he realized she also had a big brown watch which was too big for her right wrist. She dropped her gun, hands in the air, staying still.

"Now you turn around, slowly, no sudden movements," Taylor commanded. She obeyed and turned, a tiny and unsure smile on her face.

"Commander Taylor, Lieutenant Keagan, Sheriff Shannon, glad to see you too."

"Alex…" Taylor mumbled. He wasn't sure when he had first realized who she was, even if hope had crossed his mind, but when she had turned back to him, saying his name, he knew she was back, Alexandra had found her way back to Terra Nova. He lowered his gun in shock and mumbled to everyone to do the same. He stared at her. Her skin was paler and she had lost some weight, but she seemed fit and muscled. She seemed almost healthy.

Once the initial shock passed, Damon ran to her, disbelief on his face, and wrapped her tightly in his arms. She stiffened at his touch and didn't move. She was not used to this kind of contact anymore and it seemed too awkward for her. She kept her arms straight along her body while Damon was rocking her gently, whispering her name at her ear like a secret, something rare he had eventually discovered. Her eyes were staring at the ground, unable to say something to make him stop. Damon tilted back his head and saw how confused she was. Alexandra did not know what to say or what to do. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Her mouth was dry and her throat tight. It required a lot of effort for her to get to swallow her saliva. She didn't want to be there, in his arms, it didn't feel normal, it didn't feel right. Not after the year she had just passed. Not after what had happened the last time she had seen him. But despite everything, she didn't want to hurt his feeling and she knew she would just have to bite the bullet and go with it. She forced a smile, but Damon did not seem convinced. Probably because her smile looked more like a grimace that a sincere grin. Smiling was not something that was easy for her anymore.

"Alex?" He whispered in distress, unable to say something else. Damon had dreamt of her coming back and now she was there and he realized he had not expected this kind of scenario. And what if she didn't want to be friendly anymore? What if she had changed? What if she had changes so much that she was not the same girl he knew? What if she blamed him for what had happened? What if she hated him for having abandoned her? They stared at each other in silence, uncomfortable.

"It's been a long time, huh?" she managed to say with a hoarse voice. At the sound of her own shaky and tired voice, mixed with Damon's anxious and sad face, she felt her eyes starting to prickle. She quickly looked down and concentrated on stopping the tears from coming. As she felt it was not working very well, she took a deep breath and buried her face in his chest. Never mind if she didn't want to be that close with him, it was more important to hide her tears than to hurt her own feelings. She didn't want them to interpret those tears as proof of sadness or joy. It was just a lack of sleep and a big disappointment to be there that was making her cry, or so she wanted to believe. Damon tightened his embrace, relieved to feel her close again. She seemed to relax in his arms but he eventually let her go when he heard Taylor coming to them. Alexandra stepped back and stiffened at the sight of Taylor. Yes, she was definitely not ready to talk to them, him even less. She had thought about every possibility, about a lot of plans, but she had never prepared herself for coming back here and facing them again.

"Alright, girl?" Taylor asked in a casual tone, almost in a fatherly way. Alexandra stepped again away from them, feeling like a stranger with them. Taylor didn't know how to behave. He could see Alexandra wanted to stay distant from him and it was hurting him. Yet, he was not going to push her too much. He didn't want to do anything wrong, not now that she was back.

"Better than them I guess," she said sarcastically, looking at the helicopter still in flames. "People shouldn't underestimate girls." Then, without waiting any longer, she grabbed the gun that she had dropped on the ground and left them, walking back to the shell. Taylor and Damon didn't move, staring at her as she rambled in the scraps. She kicked something on the burnt grass with her foot and kneeled down. She found her knife on the body she had fell onto before and cut the rest of ropes that were tied on her wrist.

"I told you I would have it back," she said wryly to the dead body. Her guns were burnt and useless. She sighed in frustration. There was nothing useful in there anymore. She looked at Taylor and Damon from her spot and froze. What was she going to do now? She knew she couldn't stay in the ashes forever and unless she discovered that she had the super magical power to disappear, she would be obliged to return with them. Her only way out was to take charge of the situation. She had to keep control of the situation even if it was not the case at all. She took a deep breath and walked back to them.

"I'm done here," she said as she passed them, heading to the colony. Taylor and Damon exchanged a confused look and followed her. "Jim," she nodded as he walked next to her.

"Alex," he nodded in response. He was clearly happy to see her, yet she could see how worried he was. People started to gather at the gate and stared at her as she came in. Alexandra was disturbed to see how people had managed to carry on after her departure. They were not in need like she had thought they would be. They all looked healthy and happy.

"So this is real!" An excited voice said through the crowd. Alexandra turned her head, just in time to see Dr Shannon wrapping her in her arms eagerly. "You're alive," she murmured in relief.

"Obviously." Alexandra didn't know what to say. Why did people think she was dead?

"Come on, I'm gonna give you a check up."

"No," she said firmly, stepping out of her arms. Dr Shannon made a strange face. "I'm alright," she tried to reassure her.

"Let her breathe," Jim said to his wife. His voice was firm but gentle. Dr Shannon looked at her husband and it seemed like they had had an invisible talk. She nodded in agreement and smiled to Alexandra.

"I'll see you later."

"Sure," Alexandra managed to say. Alexandra could see Josh, Maddy and Zoe a few meters away, smiling shyly to her. She had forgotten them. She would have to deal with them too. There were so many people to handle. It was going to be hard.

"I'm sure we've got plenty of things to discuss. Let's go back inside," Taylor said, one of his arms going behind Alexandra to lead her to the headquarters. She quickened her pace to avoid his touch on her back and it didn't stay unnoticed by Taylor. "Reynolds!" Taylor called.

"Yes sir?"

"I need you to deliver an important message," Taylor told him.

"I'll tell him sir," Mark replied, knowing perfectly what the message was and who the recipient was.

"Good," Taylor replied before joining Jim and Damon who were following Alexandra inside the headquarters.

Lucas had spent the last months scratching his head again and again, trying to solve the equation. He hadn't found a solution to create a new portal and he was mad about it. And even if he had succeeded, there was no way he could find her, he had no idea when they were gone. Her father had trapped him, letting him think they would go back to 2149, but actually they could have been anywhere.

Being away from Terra Nova had helped him to focus on his work. Back there, he had lost his temper, he couldn't stand to be with his father, with Skye… Skye, he even had frightened her the day he nearly punched her. Josh and Jim had stopped him. He couldn't help but feel guilty about what had happened to Alex, and he couldn't stop blaming Skye and his father for that. Skye had made her go to the Badlands, away from him, and his father's plan had made her get abducted by her father and taken away from him again. He had known his father's plan to use Alexandra as bait was wrong from the beginning. Alexandra had wanted him to make amends with his father. He had been weak enough to accept his father's idea. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. Never.

He had never realized before how much Alexandra meant to him. She knew how to ease his rage. Without her, he was wild again. At first, he had found comfort with Skye. He was so distressed and she seemed to understand him at the time. She was sad too. Josh had left her and had stopped talking to her, ignoring her. They had ended up together to comfort each other. Not like lovers, more like siblings. But she didn't know how to be with him. She had never known. The only person who had known was gone.

A noise from outside brought him back to reality. He quickly grabbed his gun and hid. Someone was inside his jungle lab, walking his way. When the footsteps came closer to him, he jumped out from his hiding place, pointing his gun to whoever it was.

"Hey, Lucas it's me," Mark said, surprise and scare audible in his voice. "It's Mark, put your gun down!"

"Mark? What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed.

"It's your father, he asked me to come here and to bring you back to Terra Nova right away."

"Aaah," he smiled. "The old man can't stop trying, can he?"

"It's really important this time," he paused. "She's back." Lucas's eyes widened. "Alex is back."

* * *

><p><em>"Well, if you're travelin' in the north country fair, where the winds hit heavy on the borderline, remember me to one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine. Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm, when the rivers freeze and summer ends, please see if she's wearing a coat so warm, to keep her from the howlin' winds. Please see for me if her hair hangs long, iIf it rolls and flows all down her breast. Please see for me if her hair hangs long, that's the way I remember her best. I'm a-wonderin' if she remembers me at all. Many times I've often prayed, in the darkness of my night, In the brightness of my day." Girl from the north coutry - The Lions<em>


	47. Ruined

**Ruined**

When Alexandra entered the headquarters, she automatically checked every exit, counted every window, every door, how many people were in the room and how many guns there were. She recorded everything in her mind. She walked around the desk and discreetly took a walkie-talkie that was on it. She had become kleptomaniac few months ago. It was not like she wanted it, it was just her survival instincts. She would take whatever would help her to escape if needed. It was all an automatism for her. All the training her father had made her go through had turned her into someone who would always be prepared to defend herself or ready to run away.

"I'm glad you're alive, Alex," Taylor started to say as he sat behind his desk.

"So am I," she mocked sharply, looking around. "Nothing has changed here. Except for this," she pointed out, her gaze staring at a camera in the corner of the room.

"We have tried to secure the colony as much as we could."

"I can see that."

"We wanted to go and rescue you, but we couldn't," Taylor confessed suddenly.

"I can see that too," she said coldly.

"Have a seat," Taylor gestured the seat in front of him.

"I'd rather stay standing," she replied, folding her arms on her chest.

"Where were you? When were you?" Jim asked eagerly.

"Hope Plaza. 2150."

"We destroyed Hope plaza," Jim exclaimed.

"They rebuilt it."

"Who?"

"The Rebels, my father's army." Her tone was casual, almost neutral.

"So your father has an army," Jim whispered, shocked.

"They call themselves The Anarchists. They didn't think too much about this one," she said in a caustic tone. "I've never thought they would have invented gunpowder though, even if they wanted to. They are too stupid, efficient, but stupid." It was almost as if she was talking to herself.

"How did you get here?" Taylor asked earnestly.

"I jumped from a helicopter. Didn't you see my sublime jump?" She gestured with her arms.

"I know how you arrived here. But what happened before? What led you here?"

"I was captured by an enemy."

"How?"

"Well they found me before I could escape," she said in a slow voice as if she was speaking to a numb person. Taylor was trying to keep calm. Alexandra was disrespectful and clearly playing with his nerves.

"Who were they and why did they capture you?"

"Some Japanese soldiers. Apparently, they don't like it when someone breaks into their lab." Her mocking tone was exasperating Taylor. Why was she only answering with short sentences or just a word? She used to be so talkative and now all of her remarks were terse. He had expected her to tell them the whole story with every detail. Here, she was just giving them bits of information.

"Why did you break in their lab?" He tried again.

"I needed something they had, obviously."

Taylor slapped his hand on the desk with frustration. It made her jump and tense under his glare. Damon and Jim stared at the floor, knowing perfectly Alexandra had crossed the line, but they couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"What are you playing at?"

"I'm not playing," she said stubbornly.

"Looks like it."

"Well you need glasses then," she said coldly.

"You're doing it again. What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with _me_?" She started to laugh darkly, shaking her head in nervousness. "You are questioning me like a prisoner with your icy eyes stuck on me, trying to read me, analyze me. What's wrong with _you_?" Taylor held her gaze and inhaled and exhaled slowly to maintain his anger. Yet, it was not enough. He had held so much inside him during this last year, hoping she was alive, fearing she was dead, and here she was, ruining their reunion.

"Nothing's wrong with me here Alex! You're acting like a stubborn child and I don't even know why!" Taylor had seen that same look in her eyes before. It wasn't good for her, nor for him. It wasn't good for anyone.

Alexandra took a deep breath and talked in a blank tone.

"Fuck you," she said simply, glaring at him.

"Pardon?" He asked, stunned.

"I said fuck you. Oh sorry, fuck you, Commander. Is that better?" She smiled playfully.

"Don't push me too far, girl!" Taylor stood up from his chair and approached her.

"Don't girl me! I'm not a girl. I'm not your girl!" Alexandra cursed herself for her last sentence. That was just a stupid thing to say.

"So this is what it's all about? You not being mine?" He was hurt and pained by her. Was she trying to punish him and prove to him she was not on his side anymore?

"Don't try to understand, you're not smart enough," she snapped, annoyance audible in her voice.

"Give me a try," Taylor said gently, his eyes softening.

"No, I'd rather stay on my fuck you Commander part." An arrogant smile started to spread on her face.

"Then you will keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I will sew it shut," he ordered her angrily. "Is there an understanding between us?"

"Try me," she challenged him, her hand caressing her gun.

"You think I couldn't do it?" He said menacingly, stepping closer.

"Commander!" Jim intervened.

"Oh I'm sure you can do a lot of things, Commander," Alexandra spat, stepping closer to him too. "I've already experienced some of your skills."

"I'm not joking here," he warned her. He was struggling to keep his voice steady.

"Neither am I," she replied coldly. "Oh, by the way, the next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face!" His mouth dropped open. So she definitely wanted him to pay for his past mistakes. She had always known how to disconcert people. And then, once again, she reminded him how clever she was.

"I… I swear I …" He stuttered in shock, his gaze locked into her burning glare.

"You can save your petty explanations, I don't have the patience and I don't want to see you choke in your lies." She looked at him as he was losing his composure. She had kept so much inside and it was only now that she was aware of how deep she had buried her anger for him.

"Excuse me, Sir," a voice interrupted them. "He's here."

"Thank you Reynolds. We will come in a minute." Taylor glanced back to Alexandra and saw she was fidgeting on her feet. Her face was decomposed and her eyes were betraying her panic. "What now?"

"Don't do it," she blurted out. "Don't."

"What?"

"I can't handle it. I'm not ready."

"What do you mean?"

"I know what you expect me to do and I can't do it," she shook her head. Her attitude was the opposite of how she was a minute before. She was suddenly afraid and they all could see it. "Don't let him come. I don't want to see him."

Taylor had forgotten how clever she was. Of course, she had probably seen that Lucas was not there. And when he had asked Mark to go and tell someone of her arrival, she had suspected it was Lucas. Her reaction was startling him. Almost all of his anger vanished at her sight. So she was scared to see Lucas. Taylor had difficulty figuring out why. Her reactions were totally different depending on who she was with. She had accepted Damon's hug. She had kept her distance from Jim, yet she had not glared at him. She had accepted Dr Shannon's embrace. With him, she had been distant and cold. And now she didn't want to see Lucas. Yet, Taylor wanted his son to see her. For a year now, he had lost his son again and he was sure Alexandra was the solution to this problem.

"He needs to see you," was the only thing Taylor managed to say.

"I'm not ready for this. I'm not. Nothing good is gonna come from this," her voice was tight and stressed.

"We will see," he said, leaving her. Jim gave her a tiny supportive smile and followed Taylor outside. Damon pressed his lips together and gave her an odd look, kind of worry look mixed with pain. Alexandra wasn't sure what it meant.

"I'll be outside… If you need me," he informed her before walking away. Damon had not said a single word during the whole scene. He had just observed her. He didn't know what to think of her attitude. She was not the girl he knew. Or actually, she was, but this was just the darkest part of her. He was worried and couldn't make this feeling go away.

Taylor didn't bother greet his son when he met him outside, knowing perfectly it was not a good time. The last conversation they had had been a disaster, if you could even call it a conversation. It had only been shouting and vociferations. Dr Shannon was waiting next to Lucas with Mark.

"She's upstairs," Jim said to Lucas. Lucas nodded and ran inside, eager to see her, to touch her, to talk to her, for real. Not like in his dreams, nor like in his nightmares. This time she was really there. Elisabeth waited for Lucas to leave before talking.

"How is she?"

"Playing with my nerves, she pissed me off," Taylor groaned.

"We know, we were there," Jim said calmly.

"Yes you were but I don't remember you being insulted like I was."

"We don't know what she has been through. It could be a lot worse than what we thought and obviously she did not decide to come back on her own, she escaped. I guess it must be kind of shocking." Jim explained.

"She should be happy to be back home."

"May I add that she faced death few hours ago, I guess it could explain her cold and distant attitude with us."

"But not her bad temper or her defensive posture nor her aggressive attitude or her sarcastic tone."

"She probably doesn't know what to do or how to be with us anymore, just like us," Damon added. "I don't know how I would react if I had experienced this. The pain, the lies, the betrayal… I mean, last time we saw her, she was cutting her throat with a knife," he pointed out. "She tried to take her life! For God sakes, Commander! She tried to kill herself!"

"And she had been tortured," Dr Shannon reminded them. "Not only physically. This is traumatizing for someone that young. She must feel betrayed by everyone. It's normal if she is on her guard. She needs time to trust us again. Above all you, Commander. She used to see you as her family, you were a paternal figure and you disappointed her. Give her some time to adjust here. Talk to her with an open heart."

"I'm sure she considers us responsible for all of her tragedies," Mark murmured sadly.

"She has so much important information we need right now," Taylor sighed. "Let's just hope Lucas will be luckier than us."

* * *

><p>So, are you as frustrated as Taylor now? :)<p> 


	48. Somebody I used to know

To Random Reviewer, I must say I'm ok with every review as long as they are constructive. Yours is... just nasty? But I accept your point of view. You're my first "bad" review after 135 great comments, so congrats! Still I'm quite surprised to have this kind of review after 47 chapters! You must be a little bit sadomasochistic to force you to read such a horrible story like mine. Maybe if you are suffering that much, you should stop to read it? Because without Alex there would be no story here, I hope you have realized that? Also, everybody sees each character as they want, so if you don't like the way I see Lucas, you definitely should walk away from my story. I take your comparison with Edward as a compliment though, I'm not gonna spit on the Twilight saga's success! Now that's said, I hope the other people that like my story are gonna enjoy this new chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>Somebody I used to know<strong>

"Alex?" Her whole body shivered at the sound of the voice, his voice. Just the sound of his voice twisted her stomach into a knot filled with a mix of emotions from guilt to sadness, but also longing and desire. She spun around and her eyes immediately locked onto his. She had tried so hard to forget him, his face, his eyes. But you can't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.

"Lucas…" She lightly smiled, her eyes bright. She had not expected herself to react that way. She had thought she would be different. But they ran into each other's arms as they would have before, hugging for the longest time they could manage. Strangely, for Alexandra, it felt right. It wasn't like with Damon before. This time, she meant it and it was kind of scaring her. How could she crave him so much after so long?

Lucas tightened his embrace as much as he could. He was making the most of it, enjoying every second of this moment. He had dreamt so much about this scene, it was almost unreal. Alexandra was the first to break apart, yet she stayed wrapped into his arms, hers gripping his waist. Lucas gently put his forehead against hers, inhaling her scent. Their hearts were hammering in their chests and they were both panting.

He drew back his head to look at her. Despite his messy hair and his bushy beard, his beautiful green eyes were still as intense and penetrating as before. Alexandra was caught off guard and lost in them. He slowly caressed her face with his hands, rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs. He was silently looking for something in her eyes, something that would prove to him it was really her. He was so afraid that a year with her father had hardened her heart. He really didn't want her to be like he was before, cold and heartless, brokenhearted, a lost soul. She held his stare, allowing him to observe her as much as he needed. She didn't know why she was doing it. She should be upset, there should be a gap between them, she shouldn't be that close.

"I thought I'd lost you forever…" He murmured in a crackly voice. "When Mark told me you were back, I couldn't believe it."

"Me neither," she chuckled. "You look horrible," she teased. He chuckled lightly. He had dreamt about hearing her voice again every night and every day for a year.

"Thank you," he smiled. "You too," he replied as he gently caressed the scar that her father's knife had left on her throat.

"You still have the biggest one," she grinned, lightly touching the scars he had on his neck. The caress of her hand on his skin was so pleasurable that it made him shudder. "What is it with your beard and your hair though? Don't you know you can cut them?" She was teasing him again, that was one of the things he loved about her. A smile spread on his face. Alexandra's heart stopped when she saw his grin. It had always made her feel dizzy. She definitely shouldn't be so close.

"It didn't really bother anyone where I was. Your hair is very long too," he noticed, passing his hands on her braid.

"Yeah, I didn't really have the time to go to the hairdresser. But neither did you." They were teasing each other like they did in the old times. But it was obvious that something had changed. They were not the same anymore, neither of them and they both knew it, but for a moment, they both wanted to forget it.

"I've been thinking a lot about what happened," Lucas started, breaking the silence.

"I know. Me too."

"I tried to free you…"

"I know. My father told me."

"Did he?"

"He said that you tried to be my white knight and save me from my evil and tyrannical father."

"I like your father's sense of humor," Lucas said darkly.

"Me too. I'd have quite liked to see you on a white horse though." Her joke made his smile widen. She had not lost her funny side. "I'm really sorry," she sighed.

"Sorry?"

"For what happened."

"I'm the one who should be sorry. I lied to you, I betrayed you, I…"

"No," she interrupted. "I should have trusted you when you told me you were working for your father. I was full of anger and hatred, my mind was not clear. You don't have to feel guilty about it." She slowly got out of his embrace and sat. "I always thought all of my troubles were because of you, because of your family. But it was me, my life, my family, all of this was meant to happen."

"No. I should have told you."

"You tried to tell me, I was not listening."

"I should have done something differently."

"You did what you thought was good at the time."

"No. That's why it's so unfair because I did the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I know I could have protected you differently. I know I should have protected you since the beginning. You were the one who needed to be protected. I will never be able to erase my mistakes."

Alexandra could see how guilty he was feeling, yet she needed him to be stronger than that. She had a plan. Since she now had to stay here, she had decided what she should do and how she should act. Being close with Lucas was not part of it and obviously the only way to keep him away from her would have to come from her side.

"Lucas, I know why you acted like you did. I know you didn't mean what you said, what you did. It was not you, the real you. But you let me down and it broke my heart. You left me. It wasn't fair. It's not easy for me to get over it. I can't forget it but I already forgave you. So you don't need to worry about it," she affirmed, her tone devoid of emotion. After all, why should she let him know how lost she was right now? It wouldn't help, would it? Suddenly it didn't really make sense for her to be there.

She looked down, her hair covering part of her face. What was she doing? She had to stop it. Lucas kneeled in front of her and lightly brushed a brand of hair off her face. She wished he wouldn't. She wished he was not that close. She was way too worried that her cold mask was going to crack under his soft touch and her hair was a good back-up in case it occurred.

"What about us?" He asked, not sure if he was ready for the answer. When his eyes met hers, he knew he was not going to like what was coming next.

"I've had a lot of time to think about it…" She pursed her lips and took a deep breath. "I think we were wrong from the beginning." His eyes widened in disbelief at her statement.

"The beginning?"

"We didn't end up together for the right reason. I was lost and alone, you were lost and alone too. We saw other what we wanted to see in each other, what we needed at the time, but it was not enough, it was not real."

Lucas didn't interrupt her, he didn't know what to say. She was startling him again.

"I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. You didn't have to date me or seduce me. I wanted it to happen and when I got pregnant… Well, we just believed we could make it. We thought it was our way out from our past, a chance to start over. But we were fools, lying to ourselves." Lucas's breath quickened as she was talking. He was hardly trying to keep calm. Alexandra was speaking quickly, she didn't want Lucas to interrupt her. There was no trace of doubt in her voice, however Lucas felt like she was rehearsing a lesson she had learned by heart. "I don't mean we didn't have feelings for each other, but…"

"It was not enough," he stated, stopping her from talking, his eyes looking at hers. She put her hands on his.

"That doesn't mean it wasn't good to be together. I think that I was the only person you had at the time. You were the only person I had." Sadness crossed his face. "And with what happened with Skye and all…"

"I don't believe you," he interrupted. "I don't believe you believe what you said either. You know it was more than just an attachment because of loneliness. You know it was more than that from the beginning." Here he was, disagreeing with her theory. It was not what she wanted him to do, yet it ended up helping her. How dare he say that after what had happened? He had been the one who had needed to cheat on her to realize her loved her! She could feel anger growing inside her and soon she was upset enough to reply roughly.

"Honestly Lucas? What were we thinking? With everything that was going on, we were doomed to fail. Us, it was not a possibility. We made that clear the day we thought we could live in the jungle and raise a family. We barely knew each other! What were we expecting?" She yelled.

"And now what?" he inquired coldly.

"We can be… Friends… Like before." Alexandra tried to sound gentler, but saw Lucas wince. "I'll always be there if you need me. I hope you'll do the same," she added. Yet, she was hoping he wouldn't have to.

"Friends? Friends? Really? Do you really think we can be just friends?" His voice was shaking in anger.

"Yes, we would be good friends," she said calmly, trying to ease the pain he was expressing.

"No way!" he said firmly. His voice had risen to a shout. "You don't know what you're saying!" Alexandra had to make him believe what she had just said. Maybe telling him that the problem was her and not him would help? Maybe a good example would help, the kind of example that would hurt him too, but at least he would understand that she was serious.

"I know exactly what I'm saying! Look at our parents! My mother was madly in love with my father. Your mother was passionately in love with your father. Look what it brought them! Where are they now? They're dead! Dead!" She was yelling again. "Can't you see it? There is no more room for love in me, in my body, in my heart. I will not allow anyone to hurt me again. If it makes me heartless, then that is what I'm gonna be." All of a sudden, he stood up, grabbing her wrists on the way and pulling her up to him.

"I'm not going to let you go. I won't be just a friend. We can't be just friends." She knew he would fight for it. Lucas was not the kind of person who could just let go. He would never abandon her. Not after what had happened before. But she had hoped he would.

"You'll find someone else to love. It doesn't have to be me. You're free to do whatever you want, to have whatever you like, to love whoever you want. The choice is yours," she answered quietly, but she regretted her words immediately. She wanted him to realize he could have someone else, she didn't mean to imply he could have her. He leaned to her, his lips softly brushing her chin, her cheek, teasing her.

"I want to have you then," he slowly whispered to her ear. It made her shiver and it made him chuckle. "Don't deny it, your body wants me as much as I want yours."

"Lucas…" she sighed. She had not seen him for a year and there she was, trembling in excitement at the sound of his voice, the scent of his skin, the touch of his body. How could her feelings for him still be so vivid? "Don't make this harder than this is."

Alexandra shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She gently pushed him away and managed to tell him what she had to.

"Friends. It's all I can offer you." Her voice was shaking slightly. It could have been from fear or excitement, she didn't know. She didn't want to fight with him, she didn't try to free her wrists from his hands, even if it was hurting her now. He stared at her, frustration mixed with pain in his eyes, looking for a reaction that never came. Lucas's relaxed expression contorted into a scowl.

"Then I don't take it," he snapped, pulling her wrists away with disgust. "You can push me away as much as you want. I don't care. I won't give up on you! I haven't waited for a year for you to come back and leave you now!"

Alexandra looked at him as he stormed away. She felt her heart clench as he violently slammed the door. She had done what she had to. Then, why was she so sad? Why was she feeling so miserable? Alexandra quickly wiped away a tear she felt running down her cheek. She had to be tougher, she had to be stronger or her plan would not succeed. It had been easier to be heartless when she was with her father, when she had nothing left because nothing could be taken away from her. Now, being here again, all of her feelings were slapping her right in the face. She had to control herself better. She shouldn't let her emotions get in the way. She had suffered too much in the past and she didn't want to be hurt again because surely she would be hurt if she was close with them again. With what she knew, she had to keep to her plan. She had been caught off guard by her own reaction at Lucas' sight but she wouldn't be surprised again. She would stay distant and bury her feelings like she had done with her father. She had succeeded at the time, it wouldn't be much harder here, or so she hoped.

Lucas was furious. He had been haunted by Alexandra's scream the day she had tried to escape, when she had begged him to let her go and he had refused. He had hated himself so much for what had happened and at the same time he had hated her so much for having attempted to take her life. But he couldn't blame her for that either. He knew she was strong but sometimes it was not that simple. Now his reunion with her had been a disaster. It wasn't a total disaster because clearly, at the beginning, there was something. He had felt it. She wanted it as much as he did, but he had pushed her too quickly. Maybe if he had been more patient she would have allowed him to stay close. Lucas needed to think about it. As he walked outside, he spotted his father downstairs and it made him even angrier. He passed him without speaking and went away. He had to figure out what to do with Alexandra. He would not give up on her, he would fight for her and he had to think how.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

"_Take a look at my body. Look at my hands. There's so much here that I don't understand. Your face saving promises, whispered like prayers. I don't need them. I've been treated so wrong. I've been treated so long. As if I'm becoming untouchable. Contempt loves the silence. It thrives in the dark with fine winding tendrils that strangle the heart. They say that promises sweeten the blow. But I don't need them. No, I don't need them. I'm a slow dying flower. Frost killing hour. The sweet turning sour. And untouchable. Oh, I need the darkness, the sweetness, the sadness, the weakness. Oh, I need this. I need a lullaby, a kiss goodnight. Angel sweet love of my life. Oh, I need this. Do you remember the way that you touched me before. All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored? Well, is it dark enough? Can you see me? Do you want me? Can you reach me? Or I'm leaving. You better shut your mouth. Hold your breath. Kiss me now you'll catch your death. Oh, I mean it. Oh, I need this." My skin - Nathalie Merchant_

Lucas' part

"_Something lately drives me crazy. Has to do with how you make me struggle to get your attention. […] Tell me why I feel unwanted? Damn, if you didn't want me back why'd you have to act like that? It's confusing to the core 'Cause I know you want it. Oh, and if you don't wanna be something substantial with me, then why do you give me more? Babe I know you want it. Say that you want me every day that you want me every way, that you need me, got me trippin' super psycho love." __Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis_


	49. Nothing matters

**Nothing matters**

"What happened with Lucas?" Taylor asked when he came back with Jim and Damon.

"He lost his temper. Looks like you and your son have a lot in common after all."

"He's gone."

"I told you I was not ready. I guess he was not ready either."

Taylor didn't reply to her last comment and sat behind his desk. He had decided it would be easier if Jim continued the conversation he had had with Alexandra earlier. Jim stood in front of Alexandra who didn't want to sit anyway.

"I don't know what happened to you during this last year, but I'm quite sure this is not something you want to talk about right now." Jim knew how to talk to her because for the first time she was really listening. "The trouble is we don't have much time to deal with that, unless you can tell us that your father is not going to attack us soon."

"I can't promise you that."

"Alex, what did your father do to you?"

"He trained me."

"To?"

"To be the best."

"Best at what?" Jim insisted.

"Remembering, protecting, fighting, shooting, escaping… Killing," her voice trailed off at the last word. Suddenly she found it difficult to swallow her saliva. Yes, her father had made her an assassin. She could see the others' reactions. They seemed to be disgusted. Or was it pain? Suddenly a man came in, breaking up their conversation.

"Commander, you wanted to see me?" Blood drained from Alexandra's face as she recognized the voice of the man that had entered. Alexandra's eyes became dark and cold. In a second, without thinking, her gun was pointing in his direction.

"Thomas," she spat angrily through gritted teeth. "What is he doing here?" She hissed, glowering at Thomas.

"He is with us now," Taylor replied calmly.

"How can that be?" She asked furiously, still glaring at him.

"Put your gun down Alex," he commanded her quietly.

"Can't do that," she said coldly.

"I'm on your side Alex," Thomas stammered. "Just put your gun down, please." Thomas was clearly afraid of Alexandra and he had every reason to be. Her expression was hard, ready to shoot.

"Come on Alex, drop that gun," Damon begged her, stepping closer to her. Suddenly she raised a second gun in Damon's direction without stopping glaring at Thomas. Damon stared at her in disbelief. Where had she found this second gun? In reflex, he searched for his spare gun at his belt and found nothing. She had stolen his gun and it was all his fault. When he had hugged her earlier she had had the opportunity to do it. But why? Why did she do that at the time? She had no reason to think she could need it.

"Don't do that Damon," she warned him. "Stay where you are." Damon stopped instantly. At her tone, he knew she was deadly serious.

"Alex, I…" Thomas started to say.

"Shut up!" She cut him off, her finger ready to pull the trigger. "Shut your fucking mouth."

"Go on, kill him," a voice suddenly said from outside. Alexandra glanced up quickly to see Lucas at the window, his face dark. "Go ahead," he insisted, walking in the room. "Shoot him. He deserves it." Alexandra gritted her teeth in frustration. Wasn't he supposed to be gone? Why was he intervening? And what the hell was he doing? She didn't have to wonder too much as Lucas stepped between Thomas and her, his hands up in the air.

"Move, Lucas," she said, but her voice was less forceful than before and they all noticed it.

"Gimme the gun," he ordered her gently, lowering one of his hands and holding it open. She glared at him, her hand tightly gripping the gun. The fact that he didn't ask her for the second gun didn't stay unnoticed. He didn't believe she could shoot Damon, but he did believe she could kill Thomas. And he was right, she knew she could. She knew she wanted to. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to calm herself down.

"No."

"Then do something," he suggested. "Take a decision. Your call." She glanced quickly at Thomas behind him and back to Lucas' gaze. She seemed to deliberate as Lucas stepped aside, leaving her in front of a defenseless Thomas, shaking from head to toe, scared.

"Lucas!" Thomas said with anguish. "What are you doing?"

Alexandra was disgusted by Thomas, she despised him so much. He was pitiful, not the man who was so proud to work for her father a year ago. Alexandra kept glaring at him and slowly lowered Damon's gun and threw it back to him. Then, she moved her finger from the trigger and took the weapon by the barrel, making everyone release their breath. All of a sudden, before anyone could prevent it, she threw it violently right onto Thomas' head, knocking him down. She walked steadily to him and kneeled down, grabbing her gun.

"Don't ever approach me again or I'll shoot you," she spat in his ear. "And next time there will be no one to stop me." Then she walked outside, not listening to Taylor who was ordering her to stay. Nobody tried to stop her, they were all shocked by the event.

She went downstairs and stood with her back against the wall of the headquarters, under the balcony, hidden from the people. She let her body slide down the wall, kneeling gently. She remained crouched for a moment, her head between her legs, trying to catch her breath and especially trying to calm down. She was in hell. She definitely was in a nightmare and she would soon wake up. There was no other reason for what was happening. Maybe if she shut her eyes for long enough, she would wake up in her bedroom in 2150.

"Alex?" No, she was wrong. This voice was too real to be dreamt. "Alex?" The voice insisted, forcing her to open her eyes and look up.

"I don't want to talk about it, Jim," she sighed.

"I'm not gonna ask you to talk about it. Actually, if it was just me, I would have let you shoot him down," he confessed. Alexandra looked at him in disbelief. "But it's not just me. Like it's not just you."

"But it's just Taylor," she stated. She looked at him intensively. He had been the only one who had not tried to touch her, to push her. He was probably the only one who could understand her need to keep some distance from them.

"Come on, he wants to talk to you."

"As long as I don't have to talk to him," she muttered, accepting the hand Jim was offering her. When Alexandra entered the room again, Lucas was gone. So was Thomas. At the sight of Taylor, her anger immediately came back. "What are you gonna do with me?" she said, talking first.

"What do you mean?" Taylor asked.

"I obviously disrespected you earlier. I overrode your authority. I guess you have to punish me for that." Taylor shook his head in disbelief.

"Do you really think I'm that kind of man?" He asked her, his face crestfallen.

"I don't know who you are anymore. Maybe I've never known," she replied coldly. It hurt him more than he could say to have her that cold and distant with him. Had she always felt that way about him or had one year with her father changed her beyond who she was?

"Ok, I can see you're upset. You obviously have something you wanna tell me, so go on. Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free, starting right now." Alexandra didn't hesitate for a second. The words came out almost naturally as if she had prepared them a long time ago.

"I think you're cocky, arrogant, bossy and pushy. You also have a God complex and don't think of anybody but your damn self. You say that everything you do you do it for the colony. My point of view? You do it for yourself."

"But, I…"

"Wait. I still have 20 seconds left and I'm not done yet." Damon suppressed a chuckle at her remark. She turned her head and spotted him looking back at her with a ghost of a smile. He was enjoying the scene. Jim had to control himself so he didn't smile too. Even if it was a serious situation, he thought it was quite funny to see the big Taylor being lectured by the girl.

"You just allowed a traitor like Thomas to stay in Terra Nova after what he did to the colony. He lied to you for months, years probably, and still, you forgave him? You hardly forgave Lucas when he came back to you on his own and you almost forgave every Sixer and the Phoenix group! How can you be so blind unless you're too arrogant to see what's just in front of you! They are traitors! They will always be! They chose this life, they wanted it!"

"Ok. Ok, I've heard you. You disagree with my methods, I understand that. Still, it's _my_ colony, _my_ decisions," Taylor reminded her. He didn't want to be rude, but if she was going to stay, she had to keep in mind who was in charge. Taylor was frustrated by the situation. He really didn't expect their reunion to be like that. "And for the record, Thomas, like most of the sixers, has proved himself during the last year. I allowed him to stay. He has changed and I trust him. He gave us information about your father. He helped us with trying to find you." Taylor had just confirmed what she had already guessed. Thomas had been accepted as a Terra Novan. She couldn't tolerate it. It was driving her mad to see how he had been so easily forgiven.

"Well he didn't do a good job, did he?"

"Alex, I don't know what you want me to say or do."

"What were you expecting me to do? Jump in your arms? Like I've been trying for a year to come back here? Like I've missed you?" She said with disdain. "I didn't want to come back! Coming back was not an option. I was not supposed to come back." Her words were slowly sinking into their minds. They had never thought she might not want to come back. Why wouldn't she? Her friends were here. Her home was here. Her family was here. Obviously they had hurt her more than they had thought. But something more frightening was started to rise into Taylor's head. How much had she suffered with them? Was it enough to make her do something radical, something so extreme that she would work with her father?

"But it's your home here!"

"This is not my home!"

"Where's your home then?" His question made her freeze.

"I have none," she replied in a blank tone.

"What was your plan then?" Damon suddenly asked bitterly. "If coming back was not an option, what were you planning to do back in 2150?"

"End it. Destroy the portals and stop my father."

"Someone would create a new portal. You would have ended nothing with this plan," Damon snapped.

"You're so stupid. All of you. You know nothing."

"Then explain it to us if you're so clever," Damon spat.

"There's a nuclear war rising up. People are starving. Governments are afraid. Every country is threatening the other ones with bombs. This is the end of our earth. Soon there will be nothing left." Even with her answers, Taylor had a doubt. He needed to know what she had done other than trying to stop her father.

"Now, answer my question. It's simple. Can we trust you? How can I be sure you're not here working for your father?"

"Can you trust _me_?" She asked in disbelief. "Do you really think I'm here to spy on you?" She chuckled ironically. "Do you really believe I'm working for my father after what happened?"

"I have to ask you this and I need an answer."

"The real question is, can I trust _you_? Because last time you asked me to believe you, it didn't end well for me."

"I know how hurt you must feel. I understand that, trust me."

"No you can't. You can't because it didn't happen to you, it happened to _me_! I blamed you, I hated you, I hated everybody. I hated my mother for being so weak, I hated my father for being so evil, I hated you for having made this plan behind my back and above all I hated Damon and Lucas for having accepted to be a part of your stupid plan. I blamed all of you without exception." Her voice was filled with all the anger, all the pain and all the fear she had felt when he had betrayed her, when he had abandoned her. Damon froze at her confession. So she hated him? He had been upset to hear she didn't want to come back, but now he finally knew why. His wounded heart was aching. He had never wanted to hurt her or to lie to her. He had lost her.

"I know you blame me for what happened and you are totally within your rights to do that. But I need to know that your hatred for us is not going to lead you to do extreme things."

"Like what?"

"Like hurting people, like hurting yourself."

"It's too late for that. You already lied to me, you already hurt me. You left me," she said bitterly. "Yet it was for my own good, wasn't it?" She asked ironically.

"I am really sorry Alex. I want you to know that I really am sorry."

"I don't care, it's too late now. What has been done is done. Can't change it."

"I wish I could, I wish I could make things different…"

"Yet you can't," she cut. "Look, you thought that leaving me in the dark, pushing me out of it was the best solution and you were wrong. Lying to me was wrong, lies never bring good, there are always bad consequences when you lie to someone. You, more than anyone, should know that. You should have trusted me more, you should have known I would have helped you."

"It was not about trust! I wanted you to spend time with your parents while you could because I knew that one day we would have to deal with them. I wanted you to make the most of it."

"The most of it? The most of a lie? Look what you've done! You lied to me to keep me out of it and I ended up right in the middle of it."

"It's not a mistake I'm proud of. I won't forget it."

"You said to me that I should not worry, you promised me nothing was going on and I believed you! You swore for God sake! You swore to me knowing perfectly well that you were lying, knowing I would find out that you were lying to me!" Tears were threatening to flood her eyes. Her vision became blurry.

Taylor was speechless, he knew how wrong his decision had been, he knew he had made a mistake, the only thing he could do was apologize. His icy blue eyes started to get wet. For the second time in his life, he felt helpless.

"Everything should have ended on that day," she blurted out, shaking her head. "I should not be here. I should not have to endure this again."

"You don't think you deserved to be saved?" He asked, stunned. "What did you think when you tried to cut your throat? Huh? Do you really think it was the best solution?" She looked at him, her eyes filled with tears, lips trembling.

"I thought… I thought that if I killed myself you would have a chance to kill my father. I thought you would see that you were wrong not to trust me. I thought killing myself would prove to you I've always been on your side. I thought everything would end, my problems would be solved, the pain would stop... I never thought my father would save me, I never thought I would have to get hurt again, I never thought I would have to do what I did, I never thought I would have to come back, I… I never thought I would have to live."

Taylor couldn't watch her suffering any longer, even if she had refused his approaches earlier. He took her in his arms, holding her tightly. For the first time in ages, he began to cry. He cried from pain, for what he had done, for what he had lost, and he cried from joy, for what he had found. Alexandra had sworn she would not let her feelings get in the way, but she had lost it. It was just too much for her to handle.

"Everything would have been so much easier if you had told me," she sobbed. "We were family once…"

"We still are, you still are. You're like a daughter to me. I still love you Alex. I truly love you, this is not something that I can stop," he said in a croaky voice. "And if you still want me in your life, I'll be the happiest man in the world."

Taylor was not the kind of person who could show his emotions easily, even more so when it came to saying them. But here, he was following Dr Shannon's advice. This was what Alexandra needed and he needed it too. She didn't reply, but he felt her nod against his chest, making him tighten his embrace. He didn't want to let her go, he needed to feel her safe in his arms, he needed to feel her alive in his arms. He was just realizing how much he had feared she would be dead, how much he had been frightened that he would never see her again. Jim cleared his throat to remind them they were not alone. Alexandra stepped out of Taylor's embrace and dried her cheeks with her hands.

"You look exhausted," Taylor sighed. "You know what, we will continue our conversation tomorrow. You go and have some rest."

"Ok," she nodded.

"Lieutenant Keagan, can you walk her to her house please?"

"Yes sir."

"You better ask Malcolm to come tomorrow though. I think he'd like to see what I wanna show you," Alexandra added.

"I'll ask him to come then."

"Ok. I see you tomorrow then."

"I'll be here."

"You'll be there too?" she asked Jim. He looked at Taylor who nodded in agreement. "Great. See you then." She was ready to leave when she heard Taylor wondering where his walkie-talkie was. She turned back to him and put it on his desk without a word. As he gave her a questioning look, she simply answered, "Sorry. It was a reflex." She followed Damon outside and they walked in silence.

"Your house is still yours. We left everything," Damon informed her after a moment.

"Ok." She didn't know what to say. He was probably like her anyway. Why pretend the opposite? Once they arrived in front of her old house, she felt her heart quicken. It was really strange for her. It was like she had jumped back into the past. Actually, it was exactly what she had done. But she had never thought it would disturb her so much.

"Are you hungry?"

"Huh, no. I don't think so."

"You don't think?"

"I am not. I mean, I'm ok. Thanks." Damon opened the door but stayed outside.

"If you need anything… Well, you know."

"Yeah, I know," she forced a smile. They stayed speechless once again before Damon spoke again.

"Good night," he wished her. "Sleep well." It hurt her to see how sad he was. She didn't think it was fair of him to act like he was a victim here. But she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. As he was leaving, she called him back.

"Damon!" He turned back to her, hope in his eyes. "I… Just give me some time, alright?"

"Alright," he smiled thinly. She felt her heart tighten and without thinking she walked back to him and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And then she walked inside and shut the door, leaving him alone. Damon stayed still a moment, pleasantly surprised. His hand lightly touched his cheek where she had kissed him and he grinned. He had not lost her, not completely. His heart seemed to function again, lightening his mood. He was looking forward to seeing her the next day. With this thought in mind, hewalked back home happily.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

"_I'm coming home. I'm coming home. Tell the World I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday .I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the World that I'm coming." Coming home - Skylar Grey_


	50. Welcome home

**Welcome home**

Alexandra was standing in the middle of her living room and didn't know what to do. Nothing had changed and it was really strange. As she couldn't suppress the third yawn that came, she decided she should go to bed. She entered what used to be her bedroom and stared at the bed. She frowned as memories of her ancient life were rushing through her mind. She laid on her bed fully dressed. She stayed there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, but she didn't felt comfortable. She waited for sleep to come, but it never did, her mind still racing from the day she had just spent. She exhaled loudly and stood up. It was just too quiet. Back in 2150, there was always the sound of a roaring machine somewhere. Maybe some fresh air would help.

She went outside into the night and looked up at the sky. She felt the corners of her mouth kicking up. She was amazed to see the stars again, the moon again and hear the nature around her again. A small wind was refreshing her, everything around was alive and was making her feel alive. She suddenly felt the urge to go away, to escape from Terra Nova, from the people, from this life she had not asked for. She had not been alone for a long time and she needed it. At least, if there was something good about being back there, it was being able to be outside and breathe the air without risking suffocating.

She walked along the fence until she was sure nobody was looking at her and there were no cameras turned on her, then she slipped under the fence and she ran. She ran as fast as she could. All the noises around her, the roars from the dinosaurs, the stress of being caught, of being attacked, it all made her more eager to run. She felt alive and it was good. She didn't stop until she reached Snakehead falls, panting and laughing from excitement. She laughed louder as she realized what she had just done. It was just so stupid, yet she liked it.

She slowly walked to the rocks where Lucas had written his calculations. She looked at the drawings on the rocks for a moment, then stopped. She didn't want to remember them. This is one of the problems that comes from having a photographic memory, like she has; you remember everything you see, even if you don't want to.

"All because of that," she sighed at the sight of the scribbling. She looked at the top of the falls and a smile started spreading across her face. She took off the gun which was tied to her belt and the one which was on her ankle under her trousers, the one she had stolen from Damon, again. She would have to give it back to him, but above all, she would have to stop grabbing his gun every time he was near her. She kept the knife in her boot, just in case. She hid them between two rocks and ran to the top of the falls. She didn't stop, she just ran and jumped, screaming loudly as she fell.

The cold water burnt her skin when her body entered the pool, but she didn't care, she felt alive. The year spent with her father had been rough and cold. He had tried to brainwash her, he wanted her to be like him, to think like him. Fortunately, he had never hurt her physically, she was still his daughter after all, even if he hated her for reminding him every day that he had lost his wife. Sometimes she could see the way he had looked at her, seeing her mother in her eyes, then remembering that she was dead and his face shutting down every sign of compassion.

Alexandra had learnt to hold her tongue. She had understood that her words would only lead her to more trouble. She had quickly decided to turn her features into an indifferent mask so that no one, and above all her father, would be able to read her thoughts. She had stopped talking and asking questions quickly enough so he had thought he had succeeded in turning her to his side.

In reality, Alexandra had shut her feelings down, buried them deep. She had hidden her soul away from her devilish father, to protect herself, to save herself. She could thank her survival instincts. She had emptied her body of feelings, emptied her brain of thoughts, she had played the perfect soldier and had done everything he wanted her to. Yet, she had watched every file he read and listened to every conversations he had. Everything was perfectly recorded in her head.

Her father had always hidden the numbers of the key opening the portal, but she didn't care. She had found a way to have them with her. She knew it would help her later, that one day it would be helpful against her father. She knew her days were numbered, but she didn't care. It was too late now. She was back here and there was no way out for her. She would endorse her past mistakes and live with it, as long as she would live.

"Not too long anyway," she sighed as she sadly watched her watch. It had a countdown running on it. She quickly swam to the side of the pool and ran to the top again. She jumped many times and she repeated it until exhaustion caught her. Soaked, her body shaking because of the cold, she grabbed her guns and walked back to the colony. It took her double the time to come back and when she eventually reached the fence, the sun was starting to rise. Even if it was dawn, she managed to get into Terra Nova without being spotted by the guards, nor the cameras. She was few meters away from her house when a voice behind her made her jump.

"What happened to you?" Jim's voice was full of concern. Her walk back had not entirely dried her. Her hair, clothes and boots were still wet and she was partly covered in mud.

"Good morning Sheriff." She forced a smile, yet she looked like a child who had gotten caught by their parents doing something stupid. He stared at her in disbelief, still waiting for an answer, arms folded.

"I needed some fresh air," she replied sheepishly.

"You've been OTG? On your own? In the night? By foot?" He was stunned. "Where?"

"Snakehead falls," she answered trustfully hoping honesty would make him stop asking questions. Jim didn't want to argue with her early in the morning. He could have accused her of lying, going OTG and conspiring against the colony, but he preferred to believe her. After all, if there was one thing that had not changed in her, it was her honesty and inability to lie properly.

She was safe and sound, that was all that mattered. It was odd but he was actually quite proud of her. She had left the colony without being caught and came back into it all the same. He would have to talk to the guards, though. Jim knew the feeling Alexandra had. He knew how it felt when you had the urge to empty your head, to forget everything. He couldn't do it though, even if sometimes he dreamt of doing it.

"When do you want me to meet you?" She changed the subject.

"Meet us at 10. You should get changed. We don't want you to get a cold, do we?" He winked at her before leaving. Alexandra exhaled loudly, she had not noticed she was holding her breath.

"God, he must really be happy to see me again," she mumbled to herself. "Otherwise, girl, you would be locked in a cell right now, having to explain why you've been OTG to a forbidden place."

She had a quick shower and dressed in dark brown cargo pants and a white tank top she found in her dresser. Her clothes were a little bit too big and it made her realize how much weight she had lost. Her strict diet and her intensive training had made her more muscular, but it had also made her thinner. She lay on the sofa, exhausted.

"Just a nap, just a little nap," she mumbled to herself before quickly falling asleep.

A knock at the door woke her up.

"Damn it," she cursed, looking at her watch. It was 9, she had already slept for 4 hours. She opened the door, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Don't worry Maddy, it's ok," she yawned.

"I'm so happy you're back," she blurted out, before wrapping Alexandra in her arms. Her spontaneity made Alexandra smile. She had always like Maddy, she was so easy going.

"Thanks," Alexandra murmured before pulling out of her embrace. "Good morning by the way," she smiled, gesturing her arm to invite her in.

"Good morning Alex," Maddy beamed, entering.

"Huh… Do you want something to drink? A cup of tea maybe?"

"Huh…" She said, embarrassed. "You have nothing left in your cupboards." Alexandra arched her eyebrows at Maddy's comment. Of course, they had probably cleaned the house, they were not going to leave food in an empty house.

"I haven't checked the house yet," she grimaced.

"Don't worry," Maddy smiled. "I brought you breakfast."

"Wow, you're perfect. Thank you!" Alexandra said, grabbing the bag full of fruit she was giving her. She had not realized how hungry she was. She started to eat then stopped. "Don't you wanna eat something?"

"I already did," she replied. Alexandra nodded and continued her breakfast.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"My mother, Zoe and I, we'd like you to have lunch with us, then spend the afternoon and the evening with us. Kind of girl's day, you know." Alexandra stopped chewing, her mouth opened in surprise.

"Oh… Well, it would have been great, but I'm busy today."

"What's your plan for the day?"

"I… I need to work with Malcolm," she lied. Well, it was not a real lie, she really had to see Malcolm, but it would not take much time.

"Malcolm? Oh come on, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow. It's gonna be fun!"

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this Maddy," she winced.

"You need to socialize a bit," Maddy mocked. "And you can't work while you have a year's worth of gossip to catch up on!"

"We've got plenty of time to do it later," Alexandra tried to convince her. "And I think your father told your mother to give me some space," she reminded her gently.

"Oh yes, he did. But he said it was a good idea to spend some time with you, so you wouldn't waste your time hanging around." There he was. Alexandra smiled at the thought of Jim telling the girls it would be a brilliant idea to keep her busy so she could not run away in the jungle again. Smart move.

"I don't know," Alexandra was trying to find an excuse, but nothing came.

"Come on, Zoe is so excited that you're back, she hasn't stopped talking about you since yesterday! She's scared you're gonna leave us without seeing her. You really need to talk to her!" Alexandra couldn't refuse Maddy's invitation. She was so gentle and generous, it was almost impossible to say no to her and the Shannons had always been good to her.

"Ok," she sighed, smiling. "For Zoe then!"

"Of course, for Zoe," she chuckled. "By the way, could I borrow your plex? Mine is dead and Mark asked Malcolm to repair it, but it's gonna take ages."

"Sure, it's on the shelf, second case on the left."

"I thought you hadn't checked the house yet," she chuckled, impressed.

"It's still my house," she smirked. Maddy took the plex and put it in her bag.

"Ok, I have to go. Meet me at noon at my house, ok?"

"Ok!"

"See you!"

"Bye!"

Alexandra was slowly chewing a piece of fruit, thinking. She realized she had accepted her invitation a little bit too quickly. She really meant it when she had said she was not ready for it. Maybe she could call her back and tell her to do it another day. No, she couldn't, she had said yes and she would have to explain to her why she didn't want to go and it would end in a group therapy session about how her family broke her heart. No, she would go, she had no other choice.


	51. Somewhere I belong

**Somewhere I belong**

It was almost 10 and Alexandra was in front of the headquarters, staring at the building. She was hesitating, wondering if she should get inside or not. She didn't really have the choice, yet she wasn't sure she wanted to go and see everyone again. She wondered if Jim had told Taylor about her little trip. Probably not.

Alexandra took a deep breath and walked upstairs to the headquarters. She froze when she entered. Lucas was there with Thomas next to him, chatting casually. So what? They were friends now? Of course, she should have known Lucas would be here, even if she had hoped otherwise. She had asked for Malcolm to be here, not Lucas. And why Thomas? Was this a kind of test to see if she was ready to behave herself? He had a bandage around his head. Surely it was there so she would show her regret. Well, they would be disappointed because she did not regret a single thing she had done.

Jim and Malcolm where talking with Taylor while Damon was showing them something on a plex. She recomposed herself and cleared her throat to show them she had arrived. Malcolm smiled at her and gave her a quick hug.

"Nice to see you again," he said warmly.

"You too," she smiled lightly. She could feel everybody staring at her, like they were waiting to see if she was not going to run away or hit someone, maybe even shoot someone.

"So, Alex, I assume you have something to show me," Malcolm guessed.

"Indeed, Malcolm. I think you'll like it."

"First, if you don't mind, let's talk," Taylor intervened. "We need to know more about your last year in the future. You told us about a war, nuclear bombs, enemies… Tell us."

"It's complicated. Maybe it would be easier if you ask me questions and I answer," she explained to him. She didn't know where to start and she was not going to tell them everything, unless they wanted to know.

"What happened after you left?" Jim started. "Where did you arrive?"

"We ended up in a house. A house in a lost village in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the desert. Somewhere in what used to be Africa."

"What did your father do?" Taylor inquired.

"My father carried me to a doctor," her fingers reached her throat as she was talking. It was not a good memory. She was a total mess when the doctor had seen her. He had sewed her skin from her different cuts, then he had drugged her for a week so she would heal and rest properly. "After a week, I… We left."

"How? I mean, were there people waiting for your father?" Taylor insisted.

"I don't remember clearly," she lied. She just didn't want to remember her arrival. "I was… too weak. But people were there when we arrived and the doctor I saw was a soldier. I guess they were waiting for us."

"Where did you go after?" Jim continued.

"We flew to America, to Hope Plaza. That's when I first met The Anarchists." Alexandra looked at Thomas and he held her stare.

"What was your father's plan?" Damon wondered.

"Build other portals and sell them to the best bidder," Alexandra answered, her gaze still on Thomas. "Remember me, why is he here?" She asked with disdain, her eyes still locked on Thomas.

"You didn't give me the time to explain it to you yesterday... He's our communication engineer," Taylor answered before continuing the discussion as if she had said nothing. "How many portals did he built?"

"7." Her gaze was going back and forth between Lucas and Thomas, her eyes narrowing on them. She was wondering why they seemed so close.

"Damn it," Taylor cursed, bringing Alexandra back to the reality of their conversation.

"Oh, don't worry. I've already destroyed 5 of them. No wait, I came through the sixth one. So I guess there's only one left."

"What?" Taylor shook his head in disbelief. "You did what?"

"I told you my plan was to destroy the portals. It's what I've done. It took me months to prepare my trap, but I did it. I found allies to help me."

"Allies?" It was the first time Lucas spoke.

"I might have made some friends after all," she said casually, her answer making him frown.

"What kind of job were you doing for your father?" Malcolm claimed. "Were you helping him building the portals?"

"No, I… I was his second. I was there for his protection. I was there to handle… things." Her face darkened at the thoughts of what she had done for him.

"Did you… handle a lot of things?" Jim asked, concerned.

"Too much," she whispered.

"But you spied on your father, didn't you?" Damon asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes."

"How did you destroy the portals?" He continued.

"I… I waited for him to sell them and then I put a virus in them."

"A virus?"

"I hijacked them."

"How could someone have bought a portal without knowing if it was working?" Jim wondered to himself aloud. "It doesn't make sense."

"My father used to do a demonstration." Her answer made all of them freeze, leaving the room silent. They all understood what it meant. Her father had showed his clients how to use the portal. He had come here and then gone back into the future. He had been there, right under their nose and they had not known it. But it also meant something else. It meant that Alexandra had had the opportunity to come back, to run away, but she had not done it, she had not tried. Alexandra knew exactly what they were thinking and she felt the need to explain her actions.

"I had a plan, remember? I had to keep to it. I needed to destroy the portals to keep Terra Nova safe."

"So this explains the different signals I've recorded…" Malcolm muttered.

"What went wrong with the sixth one?" Jim inquired.

"I got caught. Simple."

"Where were you going? Where were they driving you?"

"To a prison… A special one you don't wanna know about."

"How did you fall from the helicopter?" Jim asked eagerly, curious to know how she had managed to escape.

"I could see the portal in a case in the cockpit… It was not even locked. I had to try. I cut the rope that was tied to my wrists, slicing it on my belt, and when one of the two guardians kneeled down to grab something on the floor, I kicked him in the head. I grabbed the case and the second guardian tried to shoot me. I moved just in time to avoid the bullet, but it ended up in the pilot's shoulder. The helicopter started to spin and I was ejected with the guard, my hand tightly gripped to the case. In my fall, I managed to open it and set the portal on. Then you know what happened."

"Do you know how to create a portal?" Lucas asked suddenly.

"Is it why you wanted me here?" Malcolm added, excited.

"No, I don't know how to create a portal… But I have something that might help you," she said before pulling up her shirt, turning her back to them and showing them her waist. They all dropped their mouths open in surprised.

"This is amazing… Utterly crazy, but amazing!" Malcolm murmured as he approached her to see more clearly.

"I had no other choice. I needed to have it, but I didn't want to know it. Because if I was caught and tortured, I didn't want to be able to tell this secret. If I don't see it, I can't know it, remember?"

"You tattooed it…" Damon mumbled. "You tattooed in on your skin!" His voice was a mix of reproach and disbelief. Lucas was staring at her back, speechless. From here, it looked like a drawing, like wings; but it was not wings, it was calculations. He could recognize them anywhere.

"Wait, you haven't seen the best part," she smiled. "Do you have a blue light?"

"I have one," Malcolm said, quickly going to find it in his bag.

"Turn it on," she ordered him.

"Oh my God," Malcolm exclaimed as he pointed the light into her direction.

"Is it good?" Alexandra asked him. "Does it look good? I mean, I have never seen it."

"It's perfect," Malcolm beamed, excited. "It's just perfect."

"Wait a minute, if you've never seen it, and obviously you couldn't do it to yourself, who did it?" Damon asked, a hint of jealousy in the voice.

"A person I trust."

"How do you know?" Taylor spoke for the first time since she had showed them her tattoo.

"I know it. You have to trust me on this," she said firmly.

"Do you know how to read it?" Malcolm started to wonder. "Because, those calculations, they are… It's unbelievable."

"Well you…" All of a sudden, Alexandra stopped speaking as she felt hands on her back. Warm, gentle, knowing hands, ones she could recognize anywhere.

"One way on the left side, the return on the right side," Lucas whispered, his fingers tracing a route from one side to the other, sending shivers through Alexandra's body. Then he pulled down the hem of her shirt to hide her flesh from everyone's sight, allowing his fingers to caress her skin at the same time.

"Can I see it again? I didn't really see the…" Malcolm asked, coming back to her, but Lucas didn't move from his spot, clearly forbidding him from getting closer.

"You go to the lab and bring back a camera," he commanded him. There was no place for discussion in his order. He was taking charge. "The multifunction one." Malcolm looked at Taylor who nodded in agreement.

Alexandra stepped away from Lucas' proximity and put her shirt back into her trousers. His attitude was a little bit too possessive to reassure her. Her last meeting with him had not ended that way, he was not supposed to act like that.

Damon noticed Lucas' possessive behavior too. He didn't like it. If Alexandra needed someone, he'd prefer this person to be him, not Lucas. Above all not Lucas. Damon was suddenly back to a year ago, jealous of Lucas' power over Alexandra, afraid to lose her to him. It was really strange to realize how easily those feelings had come back, like they had never really left him.

"We've got the calculations. Now we need a portal. You said you didn't know how to build a portal, but maybe you saw interesting things that could help us?" Lucas asked her.

"Why do you want to create a portal? You can't go to the future, it's too risky. They are gonna wait for you."

"We need to have the choice," Lucas said seriously. "We need to be on the same level as your father." Alexandra stared at him, thinking about what he had just said. She knew he was right, if they wanted to be protected, they needed a portal too.

"I saw plans… Maybe I can draw them."

"Good, you do that. Thomas, you have a look at it and tell us if anything is of interest to us," Lucas commanded him.

"I'm not staying with him," Alexandra frowned.

"Yes you are," Lucas said seriously.

"It's ok, I can have a look at them when she's done," Thomas proposed, embarrassed.

"No, you'll work together," Lucas ordered firmly. Alexandra folded her arms on her chest, scowling.

"Since when are you in charge here?" She asked, annoyed.

"Everything that concerns the portal is his," Taylor informed her. Alexandra sighed loudly, but didn't say anything about this new information. Of course, Lucas would always be concerned about everything that directly or indirectly affect the portal and time travel.

"Can we do this later? I need to go," she asked Taylor.

"Where?"

"Well, I've got a date actually."

"A date?"

"A girls date." For once, Alexandra was grateful for Maddy's invitation. She had the perfect excuse for leaving them. "Haven't I, Jim?" She grinned at him.

"Huh…" He cleared his throat. "Indeed. She's spending the afternoon with the girls at home."

"I think we should start working now," Lucas insisted.

"I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow," he replied calmly, making Lucas tighten his jaw in frustration. Lucas had difficulty controlling himself so as not to argue his father. Alexandra's knowledge was too important to wait one more day before working on it.

Alexandra noticed him staring at the floor, anger evident on his face, rage boiling inside him. The same rage he had before, the kind of rage he couldn't control before. She was quite surprised to see him stay silent, keeping his anger shut inside.

"Lucas, you work with Malcolm and Thomas to prepare everything for tomorrow. Alex, can I talk to you in private?" Taylor wondered. She looked at him, bewildered, and quickly glanced to the others to see if they knew why he wanted to see her alone. None of them seemed to know, yet none of them seemed to be worried about it. She didn't like the idea of staying alone with him, even after their open hearted discussion. She still had plenty on her heart to spit that she refused to say. Anyway, she had no reason not to accept his demand.

"Ok," she shrugged before following him outside.

"I wanted to be sure we are fine," he started once they were alone on the balcony. "I mean, I know we resolved most of our problems yesterday but… We haven't talked about few things and I think we should talk about."

"Like the fact you killed my mother?" she said, her voice almost a whisper, as her eyes were staring away. Taylor was extremely surprised to realize she had figured out exactly what he wanted to say.

"Like the fact that I killed your mother," he replied calmly.

"There's nothing to say Commander. I… I hated you, but that phase is over. I know you didn't intend to shoot her. I know the bullet was meant for my dad. I don't know if this is more comforting though. Still, you killed her. It's not something I can really comprehend. I know she's dead, I know it's because of you, but… I'm not gonna say she deserved it, because it would be wrong. But she knew what she was doing, she knew what she was risking, she wanted to be with my father, knowing it could happen."

"Still, I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sure you are. Like I told you yesterday, the past is the past, what's been done is done. There's nothing good that can come from living with regrets."

"So, we are definitely ok?" he asked hopefully.

"Apologies accepted," she said simply. Her answer made his face lighten in relieve.

"Have a good time with the girls," he smiled, lightly squeezing her shoulder with his hand, before returning inside, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

She was perplexed about how the event had turned out, but she felt a little bit better now that was done. She had told them her story, she had showed them her tattoo and she would help them build a new portal. Now she was going to have a girly day with some people she used to love like family. In a normal life, it would be a good day. In her life, it still didn't make any sense. Was she still able to have fun and enjoy a nice time with friends? She wasn't sure but she would find out soon as it was almost noon.

"The show must go on," she encouraged herself before going downstairs, heading in the direction of the Shannon's house.


	52. Girls they want to have fun

Hi everyone! Here is a new chapter! This is a girls' chapter. No boy in this one! BUT this is a needed one so I hope you'll still like it!

I promise it's gonna rain men in the next chapters! :)**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Girls they want to have fun<strong>

"Do you want some wax?" Maddy asked. "Or maybe a razor?"

"Pardon?"

"Day dreaming?"

"Just a lack of sleep. What did you wanna know?"

"Wax or razor?"

"Oh, none of them. I don't need to."

"Right!" She mocked. "Like that is possible!"

"No, honestly. Look!" Alexandra pulled up her trousers and Maddy touched the skin of her leg.

"Oh yes indeed. Your skin is so soft! How is that possible? You've already shaved, haven't you?"

"No, I went to a clinic years ago to erase them with a laser," Alexandra replied casually.

"Wow, that's impressive. I'm sure my mother would have _never_ let me do that," she giggled. Then she remembered Alexandra didn't have parents at the time and that her mother died the year before and she suddenly felt stupid. "Oh sorry Alex… I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay! At least, there was one good thing about being on my own. I could do everything I wanted!" She forced a smile.

"Are you gonna keep that watch? Because it's not like it's not a beautiful watch but…" Maddy changed the subject.

"I know it's not gonna fit with the rest, but I'm keeping it."

"It's not even on the right time," she remarked, looking closer to the watch.

"This is on the right time," Alexandra replied, her serious tone clearly ending the conversation. Maddy didn't insist, understanding the decision was made.

"It's okay. Maybe you're gonna launch a new style!" She laughed. "And anyway I think my mother's dress is really casual so you can have that watch on you."

"Thank you," Alexandra chuckled. "You are really generous to do me this favor!"

When Alexandra had arrived for lunch, Maddy had told her that her mother was working until 5 and that they would go to pick up Zoe at school around 4, but that until then, they would prepare themselves for a night out. Maddy had prepared clothes for Alexandra for their girl's evening, a pair of flat brown sandals and a light brown and white dress. Alexandra was not too keen wearing a dress but she had not worn one in ages and she couldn't miss the opportunity. And anyway, Maddy would wear a dress too, like Elisabeth and Zoe. She wouldn't look too laughable.

"Did Taylor ever explain how I went missing?" Alexandra asked Maddy as she was putting some brown eye shadow on her.

"Hmmm… Not really. I guess it was a little bit confidential," she mumbled, concentrating on her task.

"Oh," Alexandra let escape in disappointment. Maddy gave a last happy look at what she had done and smiled.

"Done!" She beamed proudly as she gave Alexandra a mirror to see.

"Perfect! You're good at it," Alexandra congratulated her. She had not put too much make-up on her, it was nice, perfectly beautifying her eyes, but not too much that would have made her look ridiculous.

"Most of Terra Nova knows you fought for your freedom," Maddy suddenly said. "And for us, but that you lost it and got abducted by your father."

"I see…"

"This is the official story though. I had Mark to keep me informed on the unofficial one!" She confessed in excitement.

"Oh, right! You're a cheeky girl, aren't you?" Alexandra smiled.

"Yeah, I like to be a rebel sometimes!"

"So what do you really know?" Alexandra asked her seriously.

"I guess I know the majority of it. How your parents arrived here and why. I know they wanted you to come with them and you refused. I know Lucas, Lieutenant Keagan and Commander Taylor were supposed to bring you back home and they failed…" Her voice dropped in a whisper, sadness overwhelming her. "I'm so sorry for you. It's horrible what happened."

"It was not so horrible," Alexandra tried to reassure her. "Don't feel sorry for me. It's over now."

"You know, when I was here waiting for you to come back, with Mark, my parents, Josh, Zoe… Even Skye was there. I mean, we were all waiting for you to come back healed and in fine fettle. When they came back without you, no one really asked questions. The pain they had on their faces was enough of an explanation."

"What happened then?"

"Well… My mom was… very sad, we all were. But we were there for each other, so I guess it waseasier for us to deal with it. Commander Taylor never showed us how he felt, but my father said he was heartbroken, torn apart because of what your disappearance had done on his son and Skye. Of course, he was sorry for you but I guess he had never imagined the consequences if his plan ended badly. Lieutenant Keagan was quite a mess too. But then life carried on, as usual, and people tried to continue their lives."

"I understand. People can't live in the past. They have to turn to the future. It's normal, it's our survival instincts, it's human's nature."

"Even with her mum, Skye had some troubles dealing with your absence. I know that after what happened with Josh, she has never been the same," Maddy added absentmindedly.

"What happened with Josh?"

"Well, you know they broke up after… what happened with Lucas. And Josh was so upset and stubborn… You know how he is, right?" Alexandra nodded. "In the end he decided he didn't want to talk to her anymore. I think he blamed her and Lucas for what had happened. Then he softened a bit, but not that much. Above all, because Skye used to spend so much time with Lucas and she was the only one he would let approach him. In the end, Commander Taylor told Josh to stop annoying her. She blamed herself a lot for what happened to you. She still does."

"That's ridiculous."

"She thinks that if she had not kissed Lucas, you would have not been separated and then all the bad things with your parents would have never happened."

"She should stop thinking like that."

"I tried to talk to her, Tasha and Hunter did too. But she's as stubborn as a Taylor."

"I bet she is," Alexandra sighed sadly. "Why did you say that she was the only one allowed to approach Lucas?" She asked, trying not to sound too interested, even if she was dying to know why.

"Well, Lucas was quite…" Maddy seemed to look for the good word before continuing. "He was quite upset with everyone after your departure. Skye seemed to be the only one he would accept near him." Alexandra didn't know if she liked it or not. Not that she should care anyway, it was not like she was still with him at the time, nor now. But somehow, it bothered her. "I prayed for you to be alive, safe and healthy."

"I was. Your prayers were good for me. You know, even if I was a captive, my father never mistreat me. It was not that bad."

The bathroom's door suddenly opened. Josh appeared, ready to go inside.

"Hey Josh! You could knock on the door!" Maddy scolded him.

"Excuse me! Excuse me!" He chuckled as Maddy threw a towel on him. "Hi Alex!" He winked at her with a smile before leaving.

"Hi Josh," she smiled too.

"He never respects my personal space," Maddy sighed once he was gone. "Men! Argh!" she groaned.

"I haven't seen Skye since I arrived. Not that I care, but did something happen to her?"

"Oh no, she's just working at the second lab. She should be back tonight."

"The second lab?"

"Yes, after the portal was officially declared useless, they created a second lab to work on plants for medicine, develop remedies, create new recipes... You know, to start a new life. Malcolm is leading the scientists there. Skye volunteered to work there few months ago. She spends most of her week there and comes back for the weekend."

"I thought she was spending all of her time with Lucas?" Alexandra couldn't stop herself from asking this.

"Well… Few months ago, it changed. Lucas changed. I don't really know what happened, but Skye was not welcome anymore and Lucas went away in a unit outside the gate. I didn't even know it existed. And well, Skye went away too, working at this second lab."

"And how is Josh handling it?"

"He wants us to believe he's fine, but he's not. Their relationship has always been complicated, even before you arrived here. He had never really been honest with her at the beginning, with his story with Kara and all. She also lied to him so many times. He thinks he can't believe her. But honestly, who would have not lied in that situation?"

Alexandra loved Maddy a lot. She would always try to understand other people. She was always so optimistic, positive, smart and genuinely generous. She would always be the first to help someone if they needed help. Sometimes she could be awkward though, particularly when she was stressed. She would start speaking very quickly, like reciting a lesson, but Alexandra thought she was the sweetest person in the world. It was only now she realized how much she really had missed her.

"Indeed, I think she has some excuses."

"Yeah," she grimaced, obviously feeling sorry for her. "They both have."

"Things seem to be fine for you though," Alexandra grinned. "Is Mark still as cute and handsome as he was?"

"He is," Maddy giggled, blushing.

"Still madly in love then?"

"Yes! He's fantastic. I don't know how my life was before him. I couldn't live without him now, you know, he's just… He's just the air I need to breathe, he's everything!"

"Wow, that's a declaration!"

"I know, it's a little bit extreme don't you think?"

"No, love makes us say or do things we never thought we would do!"

"Exactly! Oh my God, I really love him, don't I?"

"Oh yes you do," she giggled, as excited as her friend was. "I mean, you fell in love with him, what, the second you met him? And three years after you still love him, even more? Yuck, that's so horrible! You must suffer a lot!" she mocked her.

"Shut up!" She shoved her, smiling.

"I'm super happy for you Maddy! Honestly Mark is great and you deserve a guy like him. And he's really lucky to have you."

"Thanks," she grinned widely.

"Aren't you gonna miss him tonight?"

"Oh, I'll see him later, don't worry. I can live without him for a day you know!"

"Yeah, play the distant girl, I'm sure it'll work," she mocked her. Maddy smiled at her joke. She really was in love with Mark and she was so sad people couldn't have the same love they had. She was so lucky, she had always been lucky. Her family, her friends, her boyfriend, everything had always turned in her favor. And now her lost friend was back in her life, she was on top of the moon.

"I missed you," she suddenly confessed, embracing her friend. "I missed our girl talks," she whispered in her ear.

"I missed you too, I missed all of it," Alexandra murmured in response, her eyes becoming wet. They pulled out of their embrace and smiled as they realized they were both crying.

"We are so girly, yuck!" Maddy chuckled.

"Oh yes, we're too cheesy here," she replied as she wiped her tears with the top of her hand. "Isn't it time for us to go to school?" Alexandra wondered.

"Indeed, it's 4. Zoe is gonna be waiting for us. We better go," Maddy said, standing up. "We'll get dressed when we come back."

They both went outside, heading to the school. When they arrived, as presumed by Maddy, they were late and Zoe was waiting alone. She seemed all distressed, however, her face lightened immediately when she saw who was with her sister.

"Alex!" She beamed before running and jumping in her arms. Alexandra didn't have other choice than welcome her in a big hug. Zoe was definitely like her sister in that she would not hide her happiness. Alexandra tilted her head to see Zoe's face and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Hello little you! Ready for a girly night?" She asked her as she put her back down.

"Oh yes! I have a superb dress I need to show you and Mum said I could put some lipstick on if I was gentle at school. And I've been, so I will have some lipstick!" she started to tell her, overexcited by the idea. "Oh you already used the make-up!" She pouted. Alexandra and Maddy couldn't suppress the smile that followed her comment. Zoe didn't like it and folded her arms across her chest, furrowing her eyebrows in discontentment.

"Sorry Zoe, but you can help us with our dresses, ok?" Maddy proposed to her.

"Ok," she smiled. "But I'll plait your hair, and I'll chose the lipstick myself. Oh, and you won't tell mummy."

"Oh you're hard in business!" Alexandra chuckled.

"Ok," Maddy said, shaking her little sister's hand.

They all came back home, not long before Elisabeth came back from work. Zoe had done two braids in Alexandra's hair. They each went on either side of her face and went behind her head to become one plait. She had done quite a great job, Maddy didn't have to help her much. Maddy's hair was done the same way. They could have been sisters with this same hairdo, except Maddy had tanned skin with dark hair and dark eyes whereas Alexandra's skin was pale, her dark blond hair and dark blue eyes were the opposite of Maddy's. The girls tried something more complicated on Zoe's short hair but stopped before it became a massacre. In the end, they just braided her hair like they had themselves. Elisabeth protested that she had her hair too flat in order to avoid Zoe's hair skills, but let the little girl help her with her make-up. It was 8 when they were eventually all ready.

Elisabeth went to the door, stopped and turned back to look at the girls. She smiled, truly happy to see the three of them all chirpy. They had spent a nice end of the afternoon together and now she was hoping Alexandra would like what was coming next.

"Tonight, remember what you are, not who you are, ok?" Maddy said to Alexandra.

"And what am I?" She chuckled.

"A girl!" Maddy giggled.

"Ok _girls_, let's go to Boylan's," Dr Shannon said happily, before opening the door and walking out, soon followed by the three ladies.

Alexandra had almost forgot all the stress she had felt about this girls night. She knew she could get used to it and that was what was scaring her the most. She shouldn't, she couldn't, it was not a good idea to feel like that, it would be worse later. Yet, she did not have the courage to stop this good feeling from running into her veins. It felt too good to stop now.

'_Just a little bit more and then I'll stop, but for now, just a little bit of happiness won't hurt. Then I'll come back to my plan_,' she tried to convince herself as they arrived in front of Boylan's bar. '_Just tonight and I'll stop_.'


	53. Let's get the party started

Hi everyone! First of all I want to thank and welcome miaparker and LucyRider17 for joining us on this fic and reviewing it! It's never too late! THANKS! :)

To miaparker : I know you won't read this today because you're reading chapter 21 now but when you'll arrive here, just you'll know I officially welcome you! :) Thanks for your spontaneity and your generosity! It's always a pleasure to read your comments! And your quote on chapter 20 could apply here too! Also, your review is the 150th one and I'm glad it's yours!

Then I need to say that this part of the story was so long that I had to divide it into 3 parts! So here is the first part of the "night". I hope you'll like it.

For the record, I erased this chapter by mistake … It's not what it was but I hope you'll still enjoy the reading!

* * *

><p><strong>Let's get the party started<strong>

"Surprise!" everyone screamed when the girls entered the bar. Alexandra jumped in surprise at the sound of the cheers, but quickly recomposed her face.

"Oh my God," she murmured to herself before starting to smile at everyone. The bar had been decorated for the occasion. A big banner with '_Welcome back_" written on it had been attached at the ceiling. Some colored fabric had been hung everywhere to make the room warmer. In a second she was gathered by people.

They were people she had seen during her patrols, helping them or just chatting with them, some she had just met once, yet every face was etched to her memory. They all told her how happy they were to see her again and how glad they were to have her safe back home. It was really awkward to see so many people caring for one person. Alexandra was struggling to keep a grateful smile on her face. How could so many people be concerned about her? It seemed ridiculous. What had she done to deserve this? Surely, it was not for her nice attitude since she had arrived yesterday. They were overreacting, they could have not missed her that much, could they?

She was not used to getting so much attention and probably would never be. She liked things to be simple, she liked people, but not like tonight. It was far too crowded for her, making her almost claustrophobic. Alexandra didn't like surprises. Not that she hated them, she just didn't like to be surprised. And here she was, surrounded, feeling like an animal caught in the light of a car, stuck, unable to move. To keep up appearances, she repeated many thank yous to everyone. Her cheeks were hurting as she was trying to maintain a bright smile on her face the whole time.

"Music!" Taylor shouted eventually after what seemed, to Alexandra, like an eternity of embraces and greeting. At the first notes of the music, Alexandra knew what it was.

"So this is what you needed my plex for," she shoved gently Maddy.

"Guilty!" She smiled, obviously very proud of her subterfuge.

Music, that was something Alexandra had missed a lot. Music had always helped her, no matter how bad the day was going to be or how hard it had been, it had always lightened her mood. It was a really sweet of Maddy to have thought she would appreciate it. She definitively was a good and sincere friend. Alexandra made a mental note to herself to thank her later for her generosity.

As people started to leave her, Alexandra glanced around the room. That was when she spotted Lucas, leant against the wall, arms folded on his chest. She had not seen him before, but was quite sure she would have prefer to keep it that way. She didn't want to see him. Their last meetings had been too strange and she had not found a solution to change that situation.

Of course, she should have known he would be there. Like with the portal earlier, he could not be somewhere else tonight. He didn't seem to be in a good mood though, his green eyes as dark as coal. Yes, he was furious about something, Alexandra was sure of it. She knew this attitude too well: he was fuming inside. If his attitude has not been so hard, he could have been compared to a kid pouting. Alexandra suppressed the smile that was coming at this comparison when she saw Lucas tilt his head to the side and stare at her. She tried to hold his gaze, but found out she couldn't and stopped immediately, redirecting her eyes to the bar where Boylan was waving for her to come over.

Lucas didn't want to be there. He had argued with his father the minute Alexandra had left the headquarters. He thought the Shannon's idea was stupid. How could they organize a surprise party when a menace was planning over their heads? He had so many theories to explore, so many ideas to test and he was very upset his father couldn't see the importance of it. But his father had never understood his work. Wasn't it why he had fought with him in the first place? Lucas had spent his afternoon working with Malcolm and Thomas, preparing themselves for the next day and he had hated stopping his calculations and leaving the lab to come here and pretend to have fun.

First, he was sure Alexandra wouldn't like this surprise, he knew her well enough to assure she wouldn't. She had never liked surprises. Second, he didn't like parties. They were so overrated. People would pretend they liked everyone, smile and chat like they were all friends. Lucas couldn't stand it. Yet he was here. He knew he couldn't be somewhere else. It was driving him mad to feel weak enough to obey his father and come here. Actually, he was more furious with Alexandra for the power she still had over him. He had to be there even if he should be elsewhere.

"And a gin and tonic for the Frenchy!" Boylan smiled at Alexandra as she arrived at the bar.

"Oh thanks, but no thanks," she shook her head.

"Oh come on, I made it special for you! Half gin, half tonic," he beamed.

"Ok then, cheers," she said, bringing the glass to her lips, yet not sipping into it. She knew alcohol wouldn't help her. It would only make things worse. And she was the main attraction for the night, she had to behave.

The next hour passed in a blur. The party was on and Alexandra had no free time on her own. There was always someone to talk to her, offer her a drink or ask for a dance with her. She tried to talk, but strangely was not very good at it. She didn't want to talk about herself. And for the rest, she had refused everything. She was not inclined for a dance and had decided that water would be her main and only drink for the night. When she realized she was alone for the first time, she exhaled loudly in relief and hid herself in a corner, taking some time to observe the room.

Jim and Elisabeth were slowly dancing, looking at each other with love. They seemed to be more in love than before, if it was even possible. It made her smile. She liked them a lot and they were a good example that love could survive everything. Some other couples were dancing. She was amazed to see that, even more than hundred years after those songs had been written, people could be moved by music so easily. They couldn't possibly know the songs that were on, yet they appreciated it and were affected by it.

Alexandra saw Skye for the first time of the evening. She was laughing with Tasha and Hunter. By the way the two were looking at each other, flirting and moving in symbiosis, they surely were back together.

Josh was talking with Maddy and Mark opposite them, but Alexandra could tell he was not listening to a single word Mark was saying. Every second, he was furtively glancing at Skye. Alexandra knew why they were not together anymore, yet it was obvious Josh still had feelings for Skye. Maybe Skye knew it and that was why she was laughing so loudly to attract his attention, and from where she was, Alexandra could tell that if it was her plan, it was working. Josh was really struggling to keep eye contact with Mark and Maddy, and on Skye at the same time.

Alexandra's smile faded and she froze when she heard a new song filling the room with its melody.

_'Now and then I think of when we were together. Like when you said you felt so happy you could die. Told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company. But that was love and it's an ache I still remember.'_

Her heart tightened at the words. Unwillingly, she had associated this song with Lucas the year before. It was not like their relationship was the same story as the one in the song, but Alexandra was touched by the audible pain of the singer. She had listened to it a lot when she had ended their relationship. At the time, she was angry with everyone, but this song used to tear her soul down.

She felt someone staring at her and looked at her left side to find Lucas' dark green eyes scrutinizing her. The way he was observing her and analyzing her, made her uncomfortable. He was not smiling or teasing her, no, it was like he despised her. She tried to hold his stare but found out she, once again, couldn't and quickly glanced down to the floor.

_'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. Like resignation to the end, always the end. So when we found that we could not make sense. Well you said that we would still be friends. But I'll admit that I was glad it was over.'_

Lucas couldn't stop glaring at Alexandra. He was so angry with her. He really hated to be there and he didn't like the way she was avoiding him. She was a total contradiction. She clearly didn't want to be there, yet she was smiling at everyone, playing someone she was not. She had said she wanted to be his friend, but she was willingly staying away from him. Of course he had said he didn't want her friendship, but it didn't mean he didn't want her in his life, on the contrary, he wanted her more than before and her refusal was driving him insane.

_'But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love. But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.'_

Alexandra could feel his eyes boring into her, but she couldn't look at him. She didn't know how to be with him. He wanted to be with her and she had said no. She wanted him to be her friend and he had said no. Now, what were they to each other? Their meeting this morning and his possessive and protective attitude had scared her. He was not going to let it go, she knew it. But even if he was angry, she felt sad for him. Maybe it was just because of this sad song or maybe it was just because she was weak, but she suddenly felt worried about him. Maybe she should give him a try. Maybe she should be gentler with him.

"What?" Lucas snapped, annoyed. Alexandra jumped in surprise as she found out she had walked to him absentmindedly.

"I..." She was speechless. Whatever she had thought of telling him, it was gone. "Nothing."

"Go ahead," he insisted. "Spit it out!" He said dryly. As she didn't reply, Lucas continued his attacks. "Yeah right, as useless as you are I'm not surprised it's nothing," he scolded witheringly.

Alexandra was quite shocked by Lucas' wrath. Why was he so angry with her? She started to feel guilty, then she remembered she had nothing to be blamed for. She didn't like his attitude. She was not his enemy, why was he playing hard with her? He had no reason.

Lucas knew he was not rational, and knowing that was not helping him. He was someone straight minded and smart. But in Alexandra's presence, he was just a tiny boy. His only way to fight this feeling was to bite before being bitten. He was totally aware he was hurting her but couldn't stop the words from getting out of his mouth.

_'Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over. But had me believing it was always something that I'd done. But I don't wanna live that way. Reading into every word you say. You said that you could let it go. And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know.'_

Anger was slowly rising up in Alexandra's body. She hated Lucas for making her experience such extreme feelings. A minute ago she was sad for him and now she was upset with him. Her eyes began to prickle and she knew she was so furious that she was going to cry. She tightened her jaw in frustration and looked away. Away from Lucas' cold attitude, away from his so close yet so far away body, away from his smug face, away from his withering glare.

Lucas was struggling not to reach for her and force her to look at him. Lucas' fit of anger was at his highest level. Now she was inches away from him, he was even more unable to behave himself.

"You should go if you have nothing to say," he hissed in a whisper.

Alexandra's heart sank at his statement. Words could be like knives, they could cut you open. And here she was, deeply hurt. When she looked at him again, her eyes were bright with tears.

At her sight, all the anger Lucas had in him faded away in an instant. He regretted every single word he had said, he wanted to erase the last minutes that had passed and restart their conversation. Lucas opened his mouth, but if he said something, Alexandra didn't hear it.

_'Now you're just somebody that I used to know.'_

The sentence of the song made sense like it had never been before. It was like the singer had answered Lucas for Alexandra. She stared at him a little bit longer and turned her back to him. Without a word or another glance, she walked outside the bar, too disappointed to do something else.

Lucas stayed still at the bar, unable to move. Mark had once told him that only true love was always unconditional. It could make you experience a lot of extreme feelings, you could hate your soul mate and yet still be infinitely in love with her. Only now Lucas understood what Mark had meant. Lucas could be as angry with her as he wanted, but love would always win. He would always come back to her in the end. But would she?

Damon, who had seen them talking, followed her outside, sending a dark glare to Lucas on his way. Mark and Maddy followed her too but didn't judge Lucas. They had decided a long time ago that Lucas and Alexandra's relationship was complicated, but above all private.

Mark had shared his house with Lucas long enough to know that he was not the bad guy he wanted people to think he was. Of course, he was a pain in the ass, always bragging and reminding him he was the genius of the house, yet he was sincere. At least, Lucas was not the kind of friend who would lie to make you feel better. He would tell you the truth, even if it would hurt you, because he believed truth was needed to be told. Leaving people in ignorance was something Lucas couldn't tolerate. And even if _'friend'_ was not the right word to define their relationship, he liked the guy and he was not going to abandon him now. He had seen him sink when Alexandra had been gone, now he was just hoping he would get his life back on tracks.

"Alex! Hey, what's going on?" Damon asked her as he reached for her.

"It's nothing, I'm alright," she lied.

"Alex…" He sighed as he noticed the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"It's just… It's just, I spent the last year with no one caring for me and now… This party… Those people… You… It's too much for me," she burst out in tears. Maddy couldn't stand her friend's distress and took her in her arms.

"Alex," Maddy soothed her. "It's okay. You're here now, you're home. We're here," she continued, rocking her gently. Maddy looked at Mark over Alexandra's shoulder and they didn't need to talk to understand the other one's feeling. They were both sad for her. After a moment, Alexandra got out from her friend's arms. Maddy joined Mark who put his arm around her waist and gave her a chaste kiss to show her his support.

"I'm happy, I swear," Alexandra smiled, using)her hands to erase the last traces of tears that were on her cheeks. "I know how lucky I am," she added, biting her bottom lip shyly. "You are the perfect friends."

"You're such a wimp!" Damon smiled, grabbing her arms with his hands and pulling her into his embrace. Alexandra didn't want to be so close with him, but she needed her friend. And like he had always been, he was there for her, and she would not refuse his help. Damon had never let her down, never, she knew it. It was a comforting thought to realize their friendship had never died.

"Shall we go back inside now?" Damon eventually asked reluctantly. He could have stayed like that forever, having her safely in his arms. But it was not the best time for it and they were not alone. He could feel Mark and Maddy's questioning gazes on him.

"Go inside, I'll come in a minute," she answered. The three of them looked at her with concern. "I'm okay, I just need few minutes on my own," she reassured them.

She wanted to be alone. She still felt fragile and was afraid to cry again. Why was she so sensitive? The lack of sleep explained most of it. She was already exhausted when she had arrived the day before, and her last night had been really short. Yet, she had seen worse. Why was it that life seemed harder to handle here? She had not been herself since that day her father had abducted her, since that day she had decided to end her life. If she stood in front of herself right now she would not even recognize herself. She was someone stronger than that. Life had made her skin thicker, but here she felt vulnerable and this feeling was infuriating her.

"Ok," Damon nodded unwillingly. "See you in a minute," he added before kissing her gently on her forehead. He went inside, followed by Mark and Maddy, leaving Alexandra alone with her thoughts.


	54. Powerless

Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank you all for your support and your reviews. I have to confess I'm very surprised to see new reviewers after so many chapters. So thank you very much! It's really a pleasure to discover that new people want to read my fic! I hope you will like it as much as I like writing it. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Powerless<strong>

Alexandra watched Maddy, Mark and Damon go back in the bar and a sob escaped her mouth. She clamped both her hands on her mouth to stop the sound. She looked down at her feet and tried to conceal the tears, but it was no use. All she could do was hope that she would not start wailing. She knelt down, trying to control herself. Alexandra felt weak. She had cried so many times in only two days and she had not been able to be a pain in the ass like she had sworn to be. She was definitely not good at being upset and rancorous.

Being back here was bringing back so many memories, so many feelings, it was very difficult for her to be herself. She was already tired, her mind was rushing and running. She could feel she was falling apart. She needed to slow down and breathe. She needed to calm down and think, to remember her plan. Time was playing against her and she wished she could stop it. She was getting nowhere acting like that. Her head and her heart were colliding and disagreeing. She had to decide what to do, she couldn't stay like this. She was trying to appear like she had got it all together, but it was a lie. She was a mess inside. Maybe she should let everything go. Maybe she should give them all a chance. Even if she felt she was not ready for it, maybe she should try harder.

"You're gonna make your mascara run down your face," a voice mocked her. Alexandra looked up and saw Lucas standing in front of her. His tone was teasing, but his face was concerned.

"Ah perfect, you were the one thing that was missing to make this moment unforgettable," she said ironically. "What do you want my not friend?"

"Crying doesn't help anything, try your luck with violent mood swings," he taunted her.

"Like it helped you a lot in the past."

"I won't complain about it," he smirked.

"Yeah right," she sneered.

"You're doing all of this in vain."

"What?"

"Trying to be someone else won't help you."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

"Of course, you know everything. I almost forgot you are a genius," she said in a caustic tone. "It's very smart of you to become friends with Thomas by the way. He's so… trustful," she mocked with disdain.

"Well, it turned out that he and I have many things in common," he replied seriously.

"Like sharing an unconditional passion for being on the wrong side?" she guessed.

"Like working for your father and being betrayed by him, like hurting you and lying to you, like being evil and trying to change."

"Oh, those kind of things… I guess it creates a special bond," she mocked.

"Wow sarcasm! That´s original! Why are you trying to be so mean?" He smiled, enjoying the way she was trying to make him go away.

"I don't know, maybe that's just who I am."

"Oh come on. I came here to see Alexandra Paris, not a pale imitation of her."

"Sorry to disappoint you again," she said sarcastically.

"That's just pathetic."

"Leave me alone."

"I don't think so."

"Have you already forgotten you asked me to go away a minute ago?"

"Have I?" He smiled.

"What do you want?" She asked him seriously.

"Why have you forgiven them all and not me?"

"I don't understand."

"You seem okay with everyone now. Still, you're pushing me away. You fog things up. Always have. You spin me about but then drop me off."

"I don't spin you!" she answered, stunned. "I've forgiven you. I told you."

"Then why are you so distant?"

"I'm not… I'm not distant," she shrugged. Lucas couldn't know he was the only one she felt right with, the only one she had acted freely with since she had arrived. But also the only one she couldn't be with.

"Then why do I have the feeling that you are avoiding me?"

"I'm very busy. Unless you haven't noticed, this is my party," she gestured in the bar's direction.

"Why am I struggling to talk to you?"

"Maybe because each time I try to talk to you you're harsh, like I'm nothing," she snarled through gritted teeth.

"You started it."

"Here you go again, complaining. I did nothing," she sighed with annoyance.

"It's like you're still punishing me."

Alexandra was confused by his statement but realized he was right. Why was forgiving him more difficult than forgiving the others? She already knew why but didn't want to think about it. She had believed in him so much that it had hurt her a lot more when he had abandoned her. It only made it clearer how deep her feelings for him were. And it was still too painful for her. Yet, she was the one who had told him they could be friends. Had she become that heartless that she couldn't even be friendly with him? But he had told her he didn't want it. He was the one who had refused her friendship, not her.

"You said you didn't want to be my friend," she muttered.

"I…" His voice trailed off. She stared at him, waiting for an answer.

"See," she whispered sadly when he didn't say a word. "You're not making sense. You accuse me of punishing you, avoiding you, and when I give you the opportunity to be my friend, you just refuse."

"Forget it." He shook his head in despair.

"Why? Because I'm too numb to understand?"

"No, because obviously you can't see that we can't be friends," he snapped before leaving her. Lucas was really cross that Alexandra couldn't see why they couldn't be friends. It was ridiculous. How could he be friends with someone he cared so much about? It was a permanent temptation. He'd rather stay away from her or ignore her than be close with her but not enough to satisfy his needs.

"Lucas," she stopped him. "Why are you doing this? We don't have to fight. Why can't you just give it a break? You'll feel better if you'd just let it go."

Lucas shook his head in disgust. He couldn't believe what she had just said. How could he simply let it go? Every time he was with her, he struggled to think straight, he was not smart anymore. He had always felt confident, but she would always succeed in disconcerting him. He was a genius, how could she affect him so much? Right now, he hated her for that, he wanted to be whole again, to be the smart arrogant bastard he was known for. She was his weakness, there was no doubt about it, and he couldn't control this feeling. This was upsetting him a lot more than he wished.

"When I met Skye, I felt weak for having feelings for her and I was right because I ended up getting shot twice," he started to explain. "Feelings make you weaker. When you arrived I made the same mistake only because you promised me you would never leave. I never asked for you to come into my life and to turn it upside down ! I was perfectly fine without you! I liked being a villain that nobody loved! I was me! It pleased me to be hated by the one I despised the most!" His voice was slowly turning into a shout. "Because of you I feel again and it sucks! I'm not myself anymore because of you, and you want me to forget you! How dare you ask me that? I have not accepted so much for you to let you go."

His revelation was like a shock for her. He was more human thanks to her, but he was suffering because of her. Had she been selfish up to this point that she had not seen the impact she had on him? Being more human was supposed to be positive, not the reverse. For Alexandra, being evil was the easy way out, it required much more effort to try to be nice, to understand the others and take care of the others.

But Lucas was not like that when she had met him, he had had no heart, no soul, he was hurt and betrayed. He hated everything and everyone that surrounded him. His life was driven by his hatred for his father, his revenge on Skye and his will for success. Of course, he had been angry with her and sometimes he had scared her a bit, but it was only at the beginning, when she didn't know him well. And even then, he had never been violent with her, even if she had seen how mad he could be, he had never raised his hand on her. He had never been like this with her, he had never been the wild man people warned her about.

Why? She had never done anything for that kindness, she had never asked him to change. She was sure he had done it willingly. How could she be responsible for his new behavior? Actually, if he had never left her in the first place, Mira would have never tortured her, she would probably just be fighting on the side of the Sixers today. Taylor and Terra Nova would have been her enemies. Once again, he was making her feel guilty and she didn't like it. Her overtiredness didn't help her to stay calm and surely led her to what she said next.

"You made your own choices, Lucas. I'm not the one to blame if you're a wimp now," she insulted him, making his face become even darker than it was.

"Yeah right, I almost forgot. You're the heartless one now. How does it feel? It's good isn't it?" He mocked her.

"There are no words to explain how great this is," she spat angrily with a smirk on her face.

"Well, I can assure you that you're never gonna be as good as me at this tricky game," he promised her, an arrogant smirk appearing on his face.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she taunted him sardonically.

"Oh, I'm sure I can keep this one," he grinned, approaching her. "You won't beat your master at this game."

She held his stare with difficulty until he walked back inside, leaving her alone at the door. Alexandra was surprised to realize how feelings could turn her world upside down. The year spent with her father had been easy in comparison. Here, even with the threat of a war coming up, all of her thoughts were turned to everyone's feelings. Life - that was life. She had her life back, but it came with many inconveniences.

She breathed deeply and it took all the courage she had left to not run away from the bar and hide somewhere. She was going to be strong and honor her friends' present. When she came back inside, a song started to play and a smile appeared on her face.

_'I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm beggin' you to beg me.'_

Maddy literally jumped on Alexandra.

"This is for you!" She smiled happily, bouncing in excitement.

"You're mad!" Alexandra grinned. And this time, for the first time since she had come back, she gave her an honest, happy smile. She really liked Maddy as much as a sister and this song was just the right one to lighten her mood.

_'I'll shine up my old brown shoes. Put on a brand new shirt. Get home early from work. If you say that you love me_…'

"Come on!" She said, taking her hand in hers and leading them in the middle of the bar. Everybody seemed to move away to leave them some space to dance.

_"Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'. Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'. Feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying !"_

"Maddy…" Alexandra sighed, stopping her.

"Remember what you are, not who you are!" She reminded her.

Alexandra couldn't resist Maddy's spontaneity and started to dance with her, bouncing, screaming the lyrics to the song. They were both out of control, like crazy teenagers. But they didn't care, they used to do that before to get rid of the stress. It seemed like ages for Alexandra since she had so much fun.

Mark was standing at the bar next to Lucas, beaming. He was proud of Maddy, that was obvious. What Mark loved the most about her was her energy and positive attitude. Maddy knew how to be serious and how to be crazy.

"She's mad," Lucas said to Mark. "Your girl is mad." But the smirk on his face was telling Mark that it was not an insult at all.

"I know," Mark laughed. "I like it! She feels no shame at all!" And then he left him to join the girls. He gave Alexandra a friendly kiss on the cheek and made Maddy spin around to dance with him.

That was when Damon decided to take the opportunity to be with Alexandra. He came up next to her and held his hand open, a questioning look on his face. She hesitated for few seconds, but slowly put her hand in his. His heart hammered in his chest when her skin touched his. She was allowing him to be with her. He sighed in relief and she rolled her eyes at his expression. She shook her head, smiling.

"Shall we?" She said, stepping closer to him.

"Sure," he grinned before pushing her away, making her spin and then pulling her back into his arms. Their faces were inches from each other and suddenly their closeness made Alexandra's heart race quicker. Damon didn't give her the time to analyze what was happening and started to dance with her again. It was almost like before. Except that this time Alexandra was well aware that Damon wanted her more than when he had first danced with her at Boylan's on their first meeting. But so far, she didn't mind giving him what he wanted. She was having a good time and having him smile to her was helping her appreciate this party. Unlike Lucas, Damon was always in a good mood and that was exactly what she needed to enjoy this night.


	55. Come along and play

Thanks everyone for the last reviews, it warmed up my heart! And welcome to the new followers!

* * *

><p><strong>Come along and play<strong>

Lucas was staring at Alexandra who was dancing with Damon. A grimace was forming on his face, his disdain evident, when Skye came and sat next to him at the bar.

"Maybe you should invite her for a dance," she whispered in his ear. Lucas turned his face to see Skye smiling mischievously at him.

"I don't dance."

"I'm sure you do."

"The kind of dance I do can't be done here, if you know what I mean." He winked. "Some people like to do it in crowded place though." Skye suppressed a laugh. Lucas seemed to be in a good mood and it pleased her.

"So, you're back?"

"It looks like it, doesn't it?" He grinned.

"For good?"

"We'll see."

"I'm happy you're back."

"Haven't made any new friends since I left?" he teased her.

"Not really. You know, the routine."

"What, Malcolm was not talkative enough for you while you were in the second lab?"

"Shut up!" She shoved him. She glanced around the room and frowned. "I can't shake the feeling that people are still staring at me," she sighed, annoyed. "They are judging me and it's pissing me off."

"Life is too short to be distracted by the others' opinions," Lucas said to her seriously. "The way I see it is the more people hate me, the less I have to get along with."

"I wish I could think like you do. Why can't they understand why I did what I did? I mean, I wish I could explain to them why I spied for 3 years. It's not like I had a choice. And I haven't done anything wrong since then."

"I have a rule: never explain yourself because your friends don't require it, and your enemies won't believe you anyway," Lucas smiled.

"Still, it's not like I had a choice."

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something in your life," Lucas claimed. "You are who you are, you don't have to give a shit to people who don't like it. Live right now, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."

"I wish I was a normal girl with a normal life."

"Everyone wants to feel normal, but I don't think anyone ever does. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Skye looked intensively at Lucas and so did he.

"How can you be so… So confident? After everything you've been through?"

"I am who I am and people can take it one way or another... but at least I'm living honestly. Life taught me that if you don't try to get what you want, no one's gonna do it for you. I look arrogant and so what? I'm a genius, I can be as arrogant as I want."

"People would have really hated you at school," she chuckled.

"They hated me and rated me simply because they weren't me," Lucas chuckled. "What I mean, my dear sister, is don't ever let anyone make you believe that you don't deserve what you want. You're worth it."

"Are you saying that when life kicks you in the ass you have to kick it back?"

"Never let someone bring you down when you're up and never sink to a lower level to be something or someone you're not. You never have to impress someone that you don't like. Never say sorry for something you meant to do."

Skye stared at Lucas, realizing how she had missed him. When he had come back without Alexandra, he had been a mess, yet he had tried to stay himself. At the beginning, they had helped each other to endure this hard time. Skye had lost Josh's friendship and Lucas was very sarcastic about it. It was what Skye needed at the time. In exchange, she had kept his mind busy so that he didn't think too much about the loss of Alexandra. It had helped her, but it had not helped him enough. He had started to withdraw into himself, supporting the others less and less. In the end, he was uncontrollable, unstable and obsessed with the portal. His father had tried to talk sense to him in vain. Actually, it had made things worse, triggering his wild side again, making his anger for Taylor surface again.

"Tell your boy to stop staring at me," Lucas suddenly commanded her, his face hard, yet his eyes mischievous.

"Who?" She asked, looking in the direction where his eyes were.

"The sheriff's progeny."

"He's not my boy," she groaned.

"Well, he has this fuming jealous possessive expression on his face," Lucas mocked.

"Like the one you've got for Damon right now?" She changed the subject when she realized Lucas was staring at Damon dancing with Alexandra again.

"This prick is so pretentious," Lucas spat, shaking his head.

"Jealous, are we?" Skye mocked.

"Don't be ridiculous! Jealous? Me? Of that twat? Pfff, he doesn't even have half my beauty or my cleverness."

"Oh my god! You are jealous!" she beamed.

"No I'm not!" he sulked.

"Yes you are!" she stated.

"I just think she shouldn't waste her time with that dick."

"And she should waste her time with someone like you, right?" she smiled. Lucas furrowed his eyes at her, frowning.

"It would be more sensible, don't you think?" he smiled.

"And what are you going to do then?" Skye asked him seriously.

"I'm not sure yet."

"Don't kill him, he's too sexy. We need sexy guys in the colony."

"Not obsessed with the Shannon boy anymore, sister?" He taunted her.

"You know the answer. What about your French crush? Still on her, aren't you?"

"The jury is still deliberating."

"Well the jury should hurry to pronounce its verdict because otherwise someone else might win the prize first!"

"I don't know who needs who anymore."

"I know that I need Josh in my life," she confessed. "But he doesn't seem to need me in his life though," she added as Josh went past dancing with Tasha. "Do you know what it's like to actually need someone so much that when that person is not here life doesn't seem worth it?" Lucas nodded. He knew this feeling too well. "Then you know what I mean."

Deborah, who was not far from the bar, spotted her daughter in an animated debate with Lucas. Skye seemed a bit desperate and Deborah felt the need to go and see what was going on. She excused herself to Taylor and walked to her daughter and Lucas. She had a special affection for the boy. When she was with the Sixers, he had never harmed her. On the contrary, he had helped her. She knew his relationship with Skye had been chaotic, but now things were clear between them, she almost liked him like a son.

"Enjoying the night, children?" She asked them, concerned.

"I was giving advice to Lucas," Skye grinned at her mother. Deborah felt reassured to see her daughter was fine. "About girls!"

"Oh, I see," Deborah said, looking where Lucas was looking.

"I'm not sure what to do. I've never met anyone like her before. Never," Lucas explained.

"Shouldn't you understand what it means?" Deborah smiled warmly at him.

"She doesn't want me to be close to her," he stated.

"Lucas, I'm sure you know her better than you think. Actually, I think you are the one who knows her the best. Don't underestimate yourself." Lucas looked at her intensely, stunned. What she had said seemed so true and she clearly believed it. "You love her, don't you?" Lucas was caught off guard by Deborah's question. Skye had asked him the same question earlier, but now the answer seemed obvious.

"Yes… and it sucks." His sentence made Deborah chuckle.

"Love. It's desired and feared. It's difficult to live with and impossible to live without. There are some things you can't escape and other things you just don't want to know. But in the end, when your love is real, pure and honest, it wins."

"Yeah, well it only works if it goes both ways. From what I've seen, she doesn't want me to be in her life anymore."

"Sometimes people play hard to get to know that the other person's feelings are real," Deborah informed him.

Alexandra felt thirsty and walked to the bar. She had not danced and talked for such a long time, it was exhausting. She ordered water from Boylan and drank it straight. Boylan laughed at her thirst and gave her a second one. She turned her back against the bar while she was sipping her water, looking at the people that were there. She didn't even know some of them. She guessed that when a party was on, people could not avoid not going.

She spotted Lucas talking to Skye and Deborah. He seemed to be in a better mood. He smiled at her when he spotted her looking at him. She arched her eyebrows, perplexed, yet a grin was slowly appearing on her face. She looked away before her smile gave her away. From the corner of her eye, she could see Lucas sliding discreetly along the bar and stopping next to her.

"So, you and Damon, huh?" he said with disdain, yet in a playful tone.

"What?" She sighed, annoyed.

"I didn't think he would be your kind."

"To think, you need a brain first," she snapped.

"Some people say I'm a genius."

"Well, from what I see, you've not used your brain recently."

"Shucks, you read into me so easily!"

"Why are you talking to me now? Are you suffering from a personality disorder?" Alexandra asked him.

"If I am, I haven't been diagnosed yet."

"Well, you should see someone. Don't wait too long, it's starting to be obvious," she joked.

"As far as I remember, you used to like it," he grinned widely, his eyes full of mischief.

"As far as I remember, you used to be smarter," she replied, forcing a smile.

"So you miss my smart ass, don't you?" he teased her.

"I miss a lot of things, it doesn't mean I want to have them back," she answered in the same funny tone he was using.

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Me? With you? You really need to see a specialist."

"I don't think that my intelligence is the part of me you miss the most though," he claimed.

"Oh and that part would be?"

"Some special skills," he beamed proudly. Alexandra choked at his innuendo, almost spitting out the water she had in her mouth.

"I think you don't see yourself clearly," she said, coughing. "You couldn't be less pretentious."

"It couldn't be less true."

"Whatever," she shrugged, rolling her eyes.

"You know, I don't believe in friendship between a man and a woman."

"I do," she replied, looking at him, her eyes trying to read what was on his mind.

"Maybe you should tell it to this little Lieutenant of yours," he smirked.

"You don't know what you're talking about," she huffed as she spotted Damon glaring at Lucas from the back of the bar.

"Yeah right, that's why he's scowling at me right now," he grinned playfully, sending a little smile at Damon. Alexandra slapped his hand to stop him, but it was too late.

"Stop acting like a child," she scolded him.

"What did I do, now?"

"Stop annoying him," she said firmly.

"I just said hello to my friend! I swear Sheriff it's the truth," he smirked, putting his right hand on his heart.

"You're a lost cause," she sighed, slowly shaking her head from side to side.

"I've heard you liked challenges," he murmured, moving his face closer to hers.

"I thought I was a mistake?" she reminded him.

"You are my favorite mistake," he smiled crookedly.

"In a better mood are we?" she taunted him.

"Always in your presence," he smirked. He was obviously teasing her and Alexandra couldn't fight the happiness that was invading her, making her heart flutter. She was not naive and knew it was his way of saying sorry, but she couldn't stay upset with Lucas too long.

"Not always… Not always…" she drawled.

"Not always showing it," he explained.

"You should work on that," she suggested to him.

"I'm on it," he winked at her.

"You should work harder then. Because you're far from succeeding," she said.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Yes, I'd love to," she smiled at him, and then she turned her head. "Commander, would you do me a favor?"

"It'll be my pleasure," Taylor grinned truthfully, holding her hand in his and leading her to the dance floor.

The way she flipped her hair to turn her back to him got Lucas overwhelmed. He put on a fake smile, yet it looked like a desperate grin. She had teased him and dropped him, knowing what kind of game he was playing with her. She had played his game and won it.

"God you have not forgotten who you were on the way. You're still driving me crazy, Alex," he muttered to himself. During the whole dance, Lucas didn't let Alexandra go out of his sight and she could feel his stare on her back. It should have not pleased her so much to know he was undressing her with his burning gaze, but it was.

"I can dance with you if you want," a woman's voice murmured to Lucas' ear.

"I don't dance," he said coolly.

"It´s not what I just heard," she insisted.

"Amy..." He sighed. "Don't you have someone else to plunge your teeth on?" He turned his head to see that the dark haired girl obviously did not understand his innuendo. _'That girl is definitely stupid_,' Lucas said to himself. He was ready to throw a nasty comment to her face when an idea popped up in his mind and stopped him.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He said, a playful and sexy smile on his face.

"Oh yes!" she giggled.

"Boylan, two glasses of your best whisky!" he ordered the bartender, a mischievous smile on his face.

Fifteen minutes later, Alexandra had danced with Taylor four times already and she needed a break.

"Ok, I need to stop now," Alexandra said breathlessly. "You're a good dancer, Commander!"

"You're not too bad," he joked.

"Thank you, Taylor!" She smiled.

Her grin faded when, as she looked absentmindedly to the bar, she noticed Lucas laughing with Amy, both of them obviously drunk. From what she remembered, Lucas knew Amy from the lab. She was a nurse. But from what she had heard, she was also an easy girl, and Alexandra was annoyed to see the two of them chatting like they were best friends. She shouldn't, but once again she was.

Seeing him like that disappointed her enough to want to go back home, cutting all of her envy of partying. It was midnight already anyway and she was expected at work at 8 the next morning. A night of sleep wouldn't be a luxury. Maddy and Mark were already gone anyway.

"Alright, kid?" Taylor asked her as she was standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring at Lucas.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" she lied. "I think it's time for me to rest now. I'm gonna go home."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. Thanks again for everything."

"You're welcome," Taylor said, before waving at Damon to come over. "Lieutenant, I'm sure you'd be happy to walk this girl back home, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, Commander," he agreed. "Alex?" He smiled, holding his arm to her.

"Good night, Commander," she said to Taylor, before putting her arm around Damon's arm.

Damon led her outside and slowly walked her back home.

"How was your night?" he inquired.

"It was a nice night," she answered.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes," she beamed at him, resting her head on his shoulder as they were walking.

"Good."

"So, you knew it, right?"

"Might have known few things," he lied.

"Liar," she shoved him.

"Am I that bad at lying?" He chuckled.

"Worse than me!"

"Hey, no, that's not possible," he laughed.

"Okay, you're second then. I have to confess, you did a great job."

"Thank you," he beamed proudly at her. "You're home," he said, freeing her arm. Alexandra felt cold as his comforting warm body was suddenly away from hers. She didn't want it to stop. She needed Damon to be there for her. She knew it was totally selfish, yet it was what her head and heart were screaming at her.

"So… I guess this is when I say thank you for walking me back home, Lieutenant?"

"You could…" He said, pressing his lips together. "Or…" Damon leaned to her slowly. He was about to kiss her when she stepped back.

"Oh my god!" she chuckled in stress, looking to the ground.

"Oh no, shit, I… I'm sorry, I…" he stammered.

"Damon, I'm sorry I... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry if I made you think that I wanted you to…" she stuttered. She knew she should not have let him flirt with her. Now he was confused and he had every reason to be. She had been stupid to think there would have no consequences with this game.

"Too early. Sorry, stupid me. Not ready for it, of course," he cursed himself.

"It's just… I can't do that," she confessed.

"You can't or you don't want to?" His question surprised her.

"I can't... I can't be with someone right now, ok? It's not you, it's me. It's not good timing."

"This is about Lucas, right? You still love him." Damon stated, shaking his head.

"No! It has nothing to do with Lucas. I swear to you, it's me, I need to be single. I can't be with someone." She was serious.

"He made you cry. It´s what he does you know, hurting people."

"I've cried a lot for no reason since I arrived here. I don't think you can blame Lucas for that."

"Are you defending him?"

"I'm not! Of course I'm not..."

"What are you saying then?"

"Damon... I need time to adjust here. I need to find out who I am here. Give me time to get my bearings, please."

"I'll give you the time and the space you need to find out what you want, you know it. Just... just don't forget I'm here. I'm right here if you need anything."

"I know. And I can't thank you enough for that. Your presence is a real help for me."

"My presence, huh?"

"Your sexy and funny presence," she smiled slightly, caressing his cheek.

"Sexy… hmmm, maybe I should try harder then…" he stepped closer to her. She stopped him, putting her hands on his chest.

"Damon, I adore you, I really do. But no means no," she smiled sadly. "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

She went in and shut the door, her heart racing in her ribcage. This night had definitely been the strangest night of her life. A party in her name, a total bipolar Lucas, a best friend who wanted more and so many strangers who wanted to talk to her… Yes, it was a lot to comprehend in a short time.

Not far away, hidden in the dark, was Lucas. He had watched and heard the whole scene. He had followed them, just in case, to be sure Alexandra made it home safely. It was what he had tried to convince himself when he had decided to follow them. In reality, he was jealous, very jealous. And he couldn't bear to see that guy flirting with Alexandra. But now, he was just thrilled she had not kissed him. He would have punched Damon the second he'd put his lips on hers. Fortunately, nothing had happened.

However, she did say it wasn't because of Damon or him. She had clearly said she needed to be alone. It was going to be harder than he thought to get her back. Lucas was happy she had not kissed Damon, but now he knew he had to be cleverer if he wanted her back by his side. He liked to think she had said no to Damon because she was still in love with him, but as she had spent the whole night with Damon and not him, he couldn't be one hundred per cent sure why she seemed to still be faithful to him.

He had to elaborate a new plan to win her back. First, he would need to know if she still had feelings for him. When he would know that, it would help him to decide what step two would be. If she wanted a friend, he would be there. He knew he had to earn her trust back first. And he was going to do whatever it took to reach his goal. It would not be an easy task though, but he'd do it.


	56. One step closer

First, I wanted to apologize for the delay for updating and I thank everyone who's still there!

Then, I'd like to thank Emtheunicorn for having been my beta for such a long time. You did a great job! 55 chapters of editing, it was not an easy task, so thanks a lot.

Now, I want to welcome OpenPervert-Chan and thank her for the beta of this chapter and the next ones. Thanks for your quick editing and for your positive answer to my request!

Now that is said, let's go back to Terra Nova!

* * *

><p><strong>One step closer<strong>

The next day Alexandra came to look for Malcolm and Lucas at the lab but found none of them there. She was almost certain they had to meet there at 8. She waited for them for 15 minutes, pacing, until she was fed up of waiting and walked straight to Mark's house, knowing he was sharing the place with Lucas.

When the door opened, Alexandra stopped her jaw from hitting the floor. There, in front of her, was Amy. She was standing there, wearing the same dress she wore the night before.

"Hi…" Alexandra managed to say, her eyes looking at Amy with disdain.

"Hi Alex!" She giggled. "Can I help you?"

"Huh… No." She said simply with a grimace. Lucas arrived a second later, with only a towel around his waist, his hair drenched with water. He smiled at Amy who beamed at him, giving him a knowing look before leaving them alone. Lucas leant casually against the open door, his arms folded on his muscular torso. Alexandra was staring at him, making a strange face. He was so gorgeous it was almost hurting.

"What?" He asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Nothing."

"She's an old friend."

"I didn't ask."

"You didn't have to."

"I've been waiting for you," she said with an assassin look, folding her arms over her chest. He arched his eyebrows, perplex. "We were supposed to meet at 8," she insisted.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I completely forgot," he replied, pretending to be sorry.

"You really wanted me to catch you, didn't you?"

"Pardon?"

"We were supposed to meet at the lab 30 minutes ago! And while I was waiting for you, you were… You were having fun?"

"Oh come on, if you were here she'd be gone, no contest," he smirked.

"I'm not fighting for the place! You do what you want."

"So, that's what this is really all about."

"What?"

"The fuss!"

"There's no fuss! I mean… I don't know what you thought you were doing," she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Amy? She's… She's just a slapper!" She said with a frown. "Or so she was a year ago," she added, already regretting this discussion. She shouldn't be so affected by the situation, but most of all, she shouldn't show it to Lucas.

"Well, obviously I didn't know that at the time," he smirked playfully.

"Did you sleep with her?" She heard herself ask. She couldn't believe that she had really asked him that aloud.

"That's none of your business," he replied seriously, yet a hint of mischief was in his eyes.

"Great," she pressed her lips, annoyed.

"That's really a strange reaction from someone who doesn't care," Lucas taunted. She realized she was grinding her teeth in frustration.

"I don't care. You shag whoever you want."

"Really?" He asked with a playfully smile on his face. The way she was reacting was proving him the opposite. Her reaction was betraying her annoyance.

"It's just a friend's advice. I'm just a friend," she snapped. "I'll see you later when you'll be more… dressed," she said, looking at him from head to toe, before leaving.

"Alex! Come on! Don't be such a j…" Lucas stopped his sentence when he saw Alexandra glare back at him, challenging him to continue. His mouth was still open but he didn't add the adjective that was on his mind to define her attitude.

Once Alexandra was sure he would shut up, she went back walking to the market, upset. Lucas looked around as some people were passing, smiling at the sight of him, almost naked at his front door. He grinned back, not even embarrassed. He was proud of himself and greeted the people that were passing by. Then, he quickly ran to his bedroom and grabbed a pair of pants and his shoes. He didn't bother to grab a shirt and ran after Alexandra, half naked.

Alexandra was angry. She didn't know why she had gone to see Lucas in the first place. What was she expecting? He was not going to wait for her forever. And anyway, she had made it clear she wanted him to stay away from her. But Amy? Honestly? She was so disappointed. He was so disappointing. It was only showing her how messy her emotions were and how hard it was to keep the arrangement she had made with him.

As the market came into view, Alexandra heard someone's footsteps behind her. She looked over her shoulder and saw Lucas following not far behind her, shirtless. She picked up her pace, her heart pounding in her chest. Lucas caught up with her as she approached the first stand. He reached out to touch the small of her back, but she jerked away. Lucas stepped back slightly, leaving a foot of distance between them.

"Something's wrong?" He asked, folding his arms on his bare chest. Alexandra ignored Lucas, faking being interested by the fruits in front of her. She wanted him to go away and was hoping he would if she ignored him. That was impossible though, since it was not Lucas Taylor's character to give up, of course. Alexandra saw him smirk. "How am I supposed to know what your problem is if you don't tell me?"

"My problem?" Alexandra spat, casting Lucas an angry glare. "You should try to resolve yours before you think about helping with everyone else's problem."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked skeptically.

"You're playing with women like their toys you can just use and throw away like they're nothing."

"What?" Lucas was stunned. "I'm not sure I'm the one who uses people and then throw them away."

"Oh yeah, I suppose that's me you're talking about," she growled.

"Alex, look…"

"No," she shook her head. "Don't." she turned and left him. Lucas caught up with her immediately, grabbing at the sleeve of her shirt.

"Wait." Alexandra pulled away and kept walking, wishing that he could stay away from her. It would be so easier if he could stay away from her. Lucas kept following her. "Alex, talk to me, please." Alexandra glanced quickly at Lucas. His expression was pleading and almost desperate, and Alexandra looked away before she would do something she'd regret.

"What do you want me to say?" She replied harshly. "You just said I was a bad person, why would a person as good as you want to talk to me?"

Lucas stopped Alexandra by reaching out for her hand. He spun her to face him and lifted her chin with his other hand. "Why are you mad at me?" He asked forcefully, his gaze locked with hers.

"Wow, are you kidding?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes. She took her hand and broke free of his grip and walked away. Once again, Lucas didn't let her go and grabbed her arm, pulling her with him in the next alley. He placed her against the wall of an unit, giving her no way to escape this time. She was stuck between Lucas and the house. His hands were on either side of her head.

"Talk to me." His eyes seemed to be boring into her, trying to discern her thoughts.

"Lucas," Alexandra sighed. "What do you want?"

"I want you to stop lying to yourself. I want you to tell me the truth," Lucas said truthfully, his hand reaching for her face to caress her cheek. She slapped his hand away, sighing.

"I'm not lying to myself."

"Then why are you so upset with me, huh?" His face was inches away from hers, his hair still wet from his previous shower, his chest going up and down as his breathing became labored.

"I… I'm not upset. I told you. I don't care. I just think… as your friend, that you should choose better … girlfriends," she muttered. She was not convinced at all by her statement. She knew why she was upset and surely he knew as well.

"Hmmm," Lucas moaned ironically in response. He moved his hand along the back of Alexandra's neck and down her spine until it rested on the small of her back. She repressed a shiver, but the return of Lucas's smirk told her that she hadn't done a very good job. "Jittery, are we?"

"Why did you follow me?"

"You didn't give me the time to talk to you."

"What do you want?" She cut him off.

"I wanted to invite you for dinner." His response startled her but she didn't give him the time to see it.

"Not interested," she said quickly.

"A drink maybe?"

"Lucas…"

"Damon walked you back home yesterday. It might be my turn now?"

"What, are you jealous?"

"I don't get jealous."

"That's really funny," she mocked. "The day you won't be jealous of something has not arrived yet."

"No, seriously. Go out with me."

"No."

"You know, I almost died the other day. Malcolm made a bomb with some products and it exploded. I came like this close," he said, putting his thumb and index finger very close to each other to show her how much he nearly died. "How would you feel if I died and you didn't get a chance to go out with me?"

"I'd survive. And you survived. I already know what it's like to go out with you anyway."

"No, you don't. You said it yourself, I never asked you for a date, never. Here's a fresh new start."

"No way. No date. Friends don't date each other."

"Come on! I thought I might buy you breakfast before we start working."

"I've already eaten."

"Oh yeah? What did you have?"

"None of your business."

"Cereal? Fruits?"

"Why do you care?"

"Have you even eaten something?" He inquired, his eyes narrowing on her.

"It's none of your business," she said, mimicking the tone he had when he told her that before.

"You didn't have breakfast yet!" He stated, smiling.

"Fine, tea. I had tea. Curiosity satisfied?" She gasped. She was trying to hold on and to forget how strange this conversation was, him with his body against hers, his arm still around her waist, his hand still on her back, nearly down her bottom, his fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.

"That's sad. It's pathetic. A good day starts with a good breakfast. I'm gonna prepare you a real breakfast."

"No, you're not."

"Don't make me beg you!"

"I came to work, not to have a breakfast!"

"You really want me to beg you, don't you?" He smiled.

"It's a man thing, isn't it?"

"What?"

"The thrill of the chase. I was wondering to myself, why are you so hell-bent on getting me to dance with you? And now to go out with you? You know I don't want it. You know I'll keep saying no. It's definitely a chase. You think you're the predator and that I'm the prey. You might even think Damon is a contestant."

"Well... It's fun, isn't it? Don't deny it, I can see that you're enjoying it too."

"You see! This is a God damn game to you. Guess what? The prey is not gonna let you come close enough to catch her for your dinner," she said, pushing him and trying to leave his embrace. Lucas smirked slightly at her outburst, moving both his hands to hold her by the waist.

"Hey, hey stop," he said stopping her in her move and spinning her back to him. "It has nothing to do with the chase." His eyes darted to her hands that were on his forearms, his hands went up to find them and he laced his fingers through hers.

"It doesn't?" She asked, her eyes looking awkwardly down to her hands in his. She could hear her heart beat in her ears.

"You and me. It is not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It has never been."

"Oh yeah? I doubt that." A fight was on in her head. She knew she had to take her hands off his but she enjoyed it too much to do it.

"I need you to be with me. You saw it yourself, I'm bad when it comes to making a decision," he joked. "I need you with me," he said truthfully. "And you're bossy attitude keeps me in line," he chuckled.

"I'm still not going out with you," she insisted.

"You say that now," he smiled.

"Let me go you arrogant brat." Her words were rude, but her tone was teasing.

"That's more like it," he grinned insolently. "That's more like my Alex."

"I am not your Alex," she warned him, taking her hands out of his.

"Aren't you?" He asked, the left side of his mouth lifting up. There was laugher in his eyes.

"I am no ones," she dared to say. His eyes flashed at her answer and she froze as his expression turned.

"Not even Damon's?" He snarled. She rolled her eyes, exasperated.

"I don't have time for you to act this way," she said pushing past him, going back to the market.

"Like what?" he asked, his voice harsh as his hand grabbed her arm tightly, spinning her again to face him.

"Like a fucking jealous and possessive boyfriend," she hissed, her eyes flashing angrily as his narrowed.

"I'm not…"

"My boyfriend? Jealous?" she retorted before he could even finish his sentence. "You're damn right, Lucas. You… are… nothing… to…" She pressed on every word but was cut off as he pushed her against the wall, his body pressing her onto it.

"I'm what? Huh?" He shook her. "Alex? I'm nothing to you? Is that what you're saying?" He asked, breathing hard, fury audible in his tone.

"Yes, you're nothing to me," she said, her voice slightly shaking, proving him how less sure she was. It was a lie and they both knew it.

It had an immediate consequence on Lucas' attitude. His face softened in a second. Lucas' anger was on the edge of passion and he had to restrain himself from kissing her. The resolve he had taken the day before vanished. He couldn't be just a friend to her, he wanted her a lot more than that. Having her pressed against his body made his mind wander to all of the desire he had for her.

"Keep telling yourself that," he smirked playfully. His hand reached up to her face, caressing her cheek slowly. He leaned toward her, his lips brushing her jaw and going down her neck. She couldn't move, trapped between his body and the wall, but she didn't want to anyway. He freed one of her arm and used his now free hand to move down it her body, starting from the side of her breast and going slowly to her belly, stopping at her exposed skin between her shirt and her pants, his fingers tracing patterns up and down. They suddenly both found it hard to breathe. "Tell me again I mean nothing to you," he whispered against her skin as his lips almost kissed her throat, leaving a burning trail in his path.

"You mean nothing to me," she stammered, her voice almost a whisper.

"You're such a good liar," he chuckled on her skin, his mouth still along her jaw.

"I can't, I can't do that," she blurted out breathlessly as his hand slid under her shirt, his palm resting on her old scar. He pulled back, surprised, his gaze questioning her as he heard the catch in her voice. She closed her eyes, unable to stand his stare. She hardly swallowed as his hand touched her face cautiously, her body shaking.

"Why?" He asked seriously.

Alexandra couldn't tell him why. She wanted him so badly that her whole body was aching, but she knew that surrendering to her desire was not a solution. She had been caught off guard but quickly recomposed herself. She looked at him with a mischievous smile and leaned in, stopping inches away from his lips.

"Because…" She let her lips brush his chin, leading to his neck and coming back to his ears, her warm breath leaving a burning sensation on his skin, eliciting a moan of excitement from him. "You forgot something in your lovely theory," she whispered seductively. She made a pause to give him time to think about what she had just said and leaned back, her eyes back to his. He gave her a half smile in response, but it was not his normal confident grin and it didn't fool her. "I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice," she beamed, gently pushing his left arm, and walked away.

She saved herself this time but she would have to be more cautious in the future. She had already told him too much with those two words. He was going to look for the truth, she was sure of it. Above all now he knew she was hiding something. Because she was sure he knew, he was not stupid, he had never been. Her attempt to lighten the situation had been vain. She had noticed the concern and curiosity in his eyes. He would not let it go.

Lucas' plan had worked perfectly. Bringing Amy back home had been a brilliant idea to prove Alexandra still had feelings for him. The girl was so drunk that she had barely made her way to his house. Then, she had just collapsed on his sofa. Spending time with her, faking to be interested in what she had said had annoyed Lucas extremely. But it had been worth it. Alexandra's jealousy was written all over her features and made it obvious that she didn't like to imagine Lucas with another woman.

Now he was sure she still had something for him, if not love, at least feelings. The reaction of her body under his hands was the perfect proof that she wanted him. Yet, she had fought it. His mind was racing as he was trying to figure out why she was restraining herself like that. Of course, they had shared a painful past but somehow, he didn't know why, he was sure it was not the reason. There was something else, something more, something he couldn't put his finger on.

But his plan had also led him to a path he had not expected. Lucas could recognize when a woman was pretending not to be afraid. Alexandra was afraid, he was sure of it. She was afraid and it was not of him. Something else was bothering her, hurting her, and he had to know why. Now his curiosity was at its top level and it was not going to lower down until he knew what was going on.

* * *

><p>I know... Alex is weird lately, isn't she? I promise you'll know why very soon. Just keep following me! I swear she has some excuses. I'd like to hear your thoughts about it! Do you think that our genius Lucas is going to find out what's going on?<p> 


	57. Cockfight

**Cockfight**

After her altercation with Lucas, Alexandra went straight back home, too upset to go and work with him on the portal. She needed to calm her mind. After a long moment of pacing from the kitchen to the living room, she grabbed her plex to read a story she had borrowed from Maddy, hoping it would help her forget her previous meeting with Lucas. She had eventually relaxed after an hour or so. She was sat on the sofa with the Plex on her knees when, all of a sudden, her door swung open. She turned to see Maddy, panting, standing like a deer caught in headlights.

"Alex! You need to come with me right now!" She said quickly, trying to catch her breath.

"What is it?" She jumped on her feet, scared that something horrible happened.

"It's Lucas!"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure he can handle it," she shrugged, still too angry with him to care.

"He's fighting with Damon!"

"Where?" Alexandra asked, grabbing her boots.

"At Boylan's, where else?"

When Alexandra arrived, Damon and Lucas had been separated. Dr Shannon was with Damon, Trinity standing next to him. From what she could see, Lucas had his father lecturing him in front of Mark and Skye, who was cleaning his wounds.

She looked at them, shaking her head. _'Boys'_. Lucas had his bottom lip cut and his nose was bleeding. Nothing too bad. Unlike Damon who had his face covered in blood and bruises. Lucas was not a soldier but a scientist. However, having spent years in the jungle, he clearly knew how to fight. When they noticed her, Damon looked ashamed and embarrassed, whereas Lucas seemed proud.

"_I love the smell of testosterone in the morning!_" She joked to herself. Alexandra didn't really know what to do now, the bad had already happened. After a moment, she decided to walk to Damon. After all, he looked like he was really hurt. When she approached, Trinity seemed to glare at her before walking away before she could even say hello to her. It surprised Alexandra a lot, as the girl was always nice to her, but she tried not to be bothered as she stepped closer to Damon.

"Hi!" She smiled lightly. "Fighting in bars now?"

"Apparently," he grimaced.

"Does it hurt a lot?" She asked, touching his face lightly.

"I'll survive," he joked, sending her a big smile, even if it obviously hurt him.

"Your nose might not though," she chuckled, amused.

"Yeah, I'm glad my misfortunes amuse you."

"Sorry," she replied, clearly not sorry. "I just thought you were a good fighter!"

"I am! This bastard attacked me by surprise!"

"Poor little you," she teased with smile. "What really happened?" She asked him more seriously.

"Ask him," he said with disdain, sending a glare at Lucas who smiled to him in response.

"I'm asking you," she sighed. "What happened?"

"Dr Shannon, could you give us a moment, please," he asked the doctor.

"Sure," she replied. "I'll come back later for your broken nose."

Once she had left them, Alexandra asked her question again, and this time Damon had no excuse not to answer.

"He got mad. This guy really has a problem."

"I thought you already knew he had a problem," she taunted him. "Why did you even approach him?"

"I didn't, he did."

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, I'm sure he told you something important. I can see it, it´s written on your face."

"You're right. He said something important," he started, then he paused, like he was wondering if he could say it to her.

"Come on, stop the suspense!" She groaned.

"He said that you are the most honest person he knows. The most honest ... with others. Because when it comes to you, it's not the same. He said you're lying to yourself Alex."

"He has said the same thing to me earlier," she growled, annoyed.

"He's right," Damon cut. "You've always done it."

"That's nice. Why are you attacking me now?"

"I'm not attacking you. It's just… Recently you've been acting like you don't wanna be yourself, that's all."

"What did you say to him?" She said, turning the conversation back on their dispute.

"Nothing. He was the one who wanted to talk to me."

"So he came to you, talking, and you didn't respond? That doesn't sound like you."

"He wanted to fight with me. He said few things..."

"What kind of things?"

"Lies."

"What kind of lies?"

"About me, about you, about… us."

"Us?"

"Honestly Alex, there's nothing to say. We fought, end of it."

"Damon, you have said too much but not enough," she scolded him. "Now, tell me."

"He said I was wasting my time trying to seduce you because you were his." Alexandra pursed her lips. She was not sure how to react to this confession.

"What did you reply?" Damon seemed uncomfortable, squirming on the seat. "Damon?" Her eyes furrowed, annoyed now.

"I told him he couldn't know that. Because you don't love him anymore."

"I never said that," she said honestly, a hint of anger in her voice.

"But you said the other day that..." Damon started to say.

"It was not because of Lucas that I didn't want to be with you," she ended.

"I don't understand. Are you mad at me now? I'm not the one who started it!"

"You knew he wanted to fight with you and you played his game. How old are you?" This story started to get on her nerves.

"How old? Alex, I'm a soldier. I defend and fight, that's who I am."

"Why did you have to act like a caveman?"

"Alex! Damn it, why are you still defending him?"

"I'm not! We are talking about you here! You and the way you're acting when it comes to me. I thought we were clear about it. I… I need a pause here. I don't even know why I'm still here talking about this with you. You do what you want. If you want to fight with my ex, then great. Do it, I don't care."

Alexandra was suddenly very upset. She turned her back to Damon, not giving him the time to reply to her comment and walked away. She was ready to leave the bar when Taylor left Lucas and stopped her at the door.

"Alex!"

"What now?" She snapped, frustrated.

"Go and see him," he commanded her.

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "I'm not going to see Lucas. I had enough with Damon. I don't even know why I came. It doesn't concern me."

"I'm sure you know exactly why you came. Talk some sense into him, Alex. He'll listen to you."

"Why is everybody thinking that I might be a kind of magic key to control Lucas and make him do whatever I want him to?" She exclaimed.

"Don't underestimate your power over him," he said forcefully, before leaving.

"I. Have. No. Power. Over. Him," she shouted to Taylor, pressing on each word with force.

A goodbye wave was the only answer she received from Taylor. Alexandra exhaled loudly and turned her head back inside. She spotted Lucas, who was alone now, trying to put some ice on his face. He winced at the touch of the frozen bag on his jaw. His gaze met hers and she gave him a half smile. He gave her a quick hello with his free hand and she couldn't suppress a smile at his sight. She couldn't stop the thought that he was cute and her anger melted away quickly. She took a deep breath and started to walk towards him.

"I think I broke his nose," Lucas smirked proudly.

She made a sound that sounded like a mix with a snort and a laugh. She tried to recompose herself, not wanting him to think she was approving his action. Her plan to stay away from Lucas was messing with her mind too much. Trying to be friendly with Lucas, but not too close so he would not believe she fancied him was harder than she had thought. She cursed herself as she could feel the edges of her mouth tilting up again. _'I'm definitely not a good actress_.'

"Yes, I think you did," she smiled.

"Obviously," Lucas added, his cocky attitude returning.

"And you're proud of yourself, aren't you?"

"Why shouldn't I be? I've beaten my father's second man. Yeah, of course I'm proud."

"I don't think he deserved it."

"How do you know?"

"I know it," she said firmly. "Stop annoying him."

"Is that an order?"

"It's a request."

"Look, I can't promise you I won't fight with him if he pisses me off again."

"You do whatever you want, as long as I'm not the excuse for it," she scolded him.

"Why would I do that? If someone is lying about you, I'll defend your honor."

"I don't want you to do that! Stop acting like I'm yours!"

"But you are," he replied simply.

"You can't be serious. Please tell me you're not serious!"

"What? Do you prefer your little Lieutenant?"

"At least Damon wouldn't act like a possessive and jealous jerk if we were together! And surely wouldn't if we were not together!"

"Your dear Damon would be like everyone else when what's yours is coveted by someone else."

"I am no one's! Why can't you grab that?"

"Come on! You know you have to choose, right?"

"Oh, for God's sakes! Why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with!"

"Don't need that, I'm a lot better than him," he grinned insolently.

Lucas was so contemptuous with Damon that it started to upset her.

"This can't continue. It has to stop. Why are you really doing this?"

"For the glory?"

"Ok, I'm gone," she said, shaking her head.

"He said you didn't love me anymore." Lucas said, suddenly serious. His beautiful green eyes were searching for an answer in hers. His seriousness disturbed her. Once again, she passed from anger to guilt in a second. How could he do that to her? People believed she was the one who had the power over him, but it was totally wrong. Lucas had always been the one with the power over her. She had no doubt about it.

"I know," she sighed, looking down. Then she saw his right hand. "Oh Lucas, look at your hand!" She said, taking it gently in hers. It was bruised, obviously from his punches on Damon's face. Lucas tightened his hand on hers.

"Is it true?" He insisted, looking hopefully at her. Her heart raced in her chest. His eyes were begging her to say it was not true. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. What was she supposed to say? Lying to him was not an option and giving him an honest answer wouldn't help any of them.

"You should see a doctor for your hand," she managed to say. She tried to leave him but he stood up and forced her to look at him.

"You didn't answer my question." He was upset, she could see it, his eyes were dark green now. Everybody stopped talking around them and started to stare.

"Let me go," she whispered through greeted teeth.

They both glared at each other for a moment, Lucas eventually freed her hand and watched her go. He didn't understand her anymore. She would not avoid him forever. He would find out why she was acting so strangely.

Skye, who was cleaning Damon's wounds, watched all the scene with him. She had seen how it had infuriated Damon. She felt the need to help him, or maybe to help Lucas, she wasn't sure. Yet, she decided she had to talk to him about what she knew and give him advice now, before it was too late.

"Damon, you're a good guy and you're good to her. It's obvious she likes you a lot," she told him. "But Lucas, he'll give her what she needs, what she wants. You can't fight this. Don't get between Alex and Lucas. They'll choose each other every time. You'll only end up getting hurt on the way," Skye warned him.

"I know," he said coldly. Damon didn't need Skye to warn him. He had watched Alexandra leave Lucas, and he could feel the tension between them. There was something between them, something strong, something more than just anger, something deeper. Alexandra had said no to Lucas, but her body had said the opposite. It was suddenly obvious for Damon that she still had and will forever have feelings for Lucas. Damon couldn't compete, she would never forget Lucas. No matter how strong Damon's love for her was, no matter how devoted he was to her, she would never love him as much as she loved Lucas.


	58. Soul mate

I'd like to thanks 3 people who really lighten my days lately! abbieseal, LucyRider17 and miaparker, your reviews are such a great pleasure that I can't say thank you enough! I post a new chapter in the evening and when I wake up the next day I always find a nice review. So really, thank you. When you write a story, you have doubts, you have questions, and when you read such sweet comments, you're just ecstatic! (PS : now you know I'm addicted to you, please, never stop reviewing!)

Also, I'd like to thank those of you who read the story and don't review. I know you're there, and it's a big support.

* * *

><p><strong>Soul mates<strong>

"Malcolm, do what you have to do with that bloody tattoo. Thomas, ask me whatever you need to know and I'll answer, ok?" Alexandra commanded them as soon as she entered the room. She had gone directly to the lab after her altercation with Damon and Lucas. They both nodded, quite surprised by the turn of events.

"Where's Lucas?" Thomas asked.

"He's not coming," Alexandra cut coldly. "Now, let's work. We have already wasted enough time."

Alexandra was angry. She had a lot of mood swings recently and today was not an exception. Too many things had already happen in one morning. She wanted to take her life back under control. Focusing on the work she had to do was the best solution she had found.

"I've got plans. Maybe you can tell me which one looks like the one your father used," Thomas said, not wasting time.

"Okay, we do that."

Thomas reached for his plex and launched a hologram, projecting plans on the wall.

"Do you recognize this?"

"No."

"And this one?"

"No..."

"Okay, this one maybe?"

"Yes! Well, no. I mean, it´s almost this one, but different."

"Okay, show me. What's different?" Thomas inquired.

"It was not that big, and… this was not round, it was a square."

"Okay, can you… Can you modify directly on the plex?"

"You know what, I'm not very good with that. Do you have some paper and a pen? I think I can draw this plan now I know what you want."

"Uh… Malcolm?"

"Yep, I've got some paper somewhere," he replied, searching for it. "Found it," he beamed, giving it to Alexandra.

She grabbed the paper and a pen and started drawing the plan she had in mind. Thomas was standing behind her, staring at her work.

"Do you really need to be that close?" She inquired, upset. She didn't like to be observed.

"He needs to see what you're doing," a familiar voice said.

"Wow, Lucas, what happened to your face?" Thomas asked.

"He met someone's fist," Alexandra replied quickly without looking at him. "So, Thomas, once I've finished that, what else should I do?"

"I'd like to scan your tattoo," Malcolm interfered in their conversation.

"Okay," she nodded simply.

The rest of the afternoon was spent working on the portal and on everything Alexandra knew that could help. Lucas didn't try to argue with her again. She casted a few quick glances at him, but nothing like staring.

Malcolm had scanned her tattoo and had studied it with Lucas. The calculations seemed complete. All they needed was a new portal and calculate the entry point to insert into the calculations. Lucas was really thrilled by the news. Soon, he should be able to travel through time again. Maybe even create a new time fracture and not use the one Charles had created.

"Ok, I really need to go now," Thomas said, stretching his aching body. "I'm hungry and tired. I'm not gonna be very helpful as long as my stomach is empty and I don't have my quota of sleep. I'm off."

"Ah, I'd better go too. I haven't finished some work at my lab and it needs to be done," Malcolm continued.

"Shall we meet tomorrow at… 8?" Thomas asked Lucas.

"8, that's perfect. Good night guys."

Alexandra looked at the two men leaving and noticed Lucas staring at her. That was it, he was doing _this _thing again.

"It's just the two of us then," he smiled playfully.

"O-kayyyy," she frowned. "I guess I should go too," she mumbled.

"Or you could stay," he said in a longing voice.

"Like that could happen," she grimaced.

Someone clearing her throat made the two of them turned their heads to the door.

"Maddy?" Alexandra grimaced. She had a strange feeling of déjà vu. "What's going on?"

"I have to give you this," she said, handing her a piece of paper carefully folded.

"What is it?" She asked, perplexed.

"I don't know. I didn't open it. He just said to give it to you."

"He?"

"Damon."

With no time to stop him, Lucas stole the paper from Maddy's hand and ran behind his desk.

"Well, well, well," he smiled mischievously. "What does our dear friend have to say?"

"Lucas!" Alexandra warned him.

Lucas hid the note in his pocket and folded his arms on his chest proudly.

"Give it to me," Alexandra commanded him, holding her hand open in front of him.

"Nope."

"Lucas," she growled. "Give it to me," she insisted.

"Come and get it then," he challenged her, an arrogant smile on his face.

Alexandra held his gaze and walked slowly to him. She stopped inches away from him and ran her fingers lightly across his belt, dangerously close to his sex, making him stiffen. Lucas had to fight to keep his breath steady. Then she slowly but surely let her fingers go into his pocket and grab the paper, well aware of the arousal growing up next to her hand.

"Thank you," she said, a playful smile spreading all over her face.

"You're welcome," he eventually managed to say.

"I'm running late. Maddy, I'm comin' with you," she told her friend. "Good night, Lucas." She reached the door, then stopped. "See you _here _at 8," she grinned without looking behind her.

"Here at 8, yes," he smirked, his heart still pounding in his chest. Oh no, he was not going to miss her the next day. Yet, he had another plan for the two of them and she would see him earlier than she thought.

When Alexandra came back home, she was surprised to find Trinity waiting for her. She was pacing in front of her house, mumbling incomprehensible things.

"Hello…" Alexandra started.

"Alex, look, I know you've been through a lot and all, but you can't come back like that and destroy everything I took so long to build," Trinity blurted out without any warning.

"Pardon?"

"You're sweet, I like you, but here, no, you can't do that," she continued.

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you know how Damon was when you disappeared? He was a mess, blaming himself for everything that had happened. It took me months to bring him back to the man he was. And now, you've come back and it's like he forgot the last year with me. I have never seen him happy like that before. He smiles again like he used to. And it's not thanks to me."

"I'm… I'm sorry, but are you blaming me because he seems happy again?"

"Yes! No! I mean… I'm happy for him, but…"

"Trinity, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I want you to let him go," she said seriously.

"Let him go? Where? I'm lost."

"God, I've never thought I would one day have this kind of conversation," she muttered to herself.

"Wait, what kind of conversation?"

"The kind of '_don't touch this guy, he's mine'_," she replied hopelessly.

"You want Damon?" Alexandra couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from kicking up.

"Yes," she answered eagerly, almost desperately.

"And you're asking _me _if I'm okay?" Alexandra grinned in disbelief.

"Yes."

"You don't need my permission for that, neither does he!" She chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh yes, I need it, and so does he."

"Okay, calm down Trinity. I don't have that kind of responsibilities! If Damon wants to be with you, and if you want to be with him, then I have nothing to say about it!"

"You… He… I don't exist if you're around."

"Don't say that." Trinity's pain was hurting Alexandra's feelings.

"It's true! No one else does."

"It's just Damon's way to prove to me that he's happy I'm back. Nothing more."

"I don't want to be afraid to lose him each time you call him. He rushes up every time to rescue you," she confessed. Alexandra's heart sank at her visible sadness. If she was honest, she knew Trinity was not lying. Damon had always been there for her, and above all since she was back.

"I'm sorry. I've never asked him to do that. And I swear to you, if I had known you were together, I would have never… It won't happen again."

"Wait… Huh… We're not together. I mean, we were like… It was almost like we were, before you came back."

"I know I might have been a little bit… possessive with him in the past. But he knows I don't love him. Maybe he's a little bit confused because I'm back, that's all," she tried to reassure her.

"I don't want to be his second choice."

"Trinity, you have nothing to worry about. I won't steal Damon from you. I love him, more than a simple friend, yet not as much as a boyfriend. He's more like a brother to me. I'd really like to see him with someone like you."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I feel so stupid…"

"It's okay," she swore. "I won't tell anyone you played the jealous and possessive girl," she taunted her.

"Right," Trinity smiled for the first time, her anxiousness gone for good. "Very sympathetic of you."

"I know," she laughed. "I'm this kind of friend!"

"What's so funny, girls?" A voice asked from behind them. They both turned to see Damon, looking dubiously at them.

Trinity's cheek blushed in a second, leading Alexandra to beam. She found her very refreshing. Trinity was really genuine and Alexandra would do her best to help her to go out with Damon. She was sure it could work.

"Nothing of your interest," Alexandra responded.

"Okay, I better go," Trinity said. "Oh, and Alex, thanks."

"You're welcome," she replied gently.

Damon watched trinity leave. Once she was gone, he turned his glance back to Alexandra who was staring at him with a simper on her face.

"Hi," he said sheepishly.

"Hi," she smiled lightly.

"I wanted to apologize for…"

"Let me guess, your stupidity?" She mocked.

"Alex…"

"Your macho attitude?"

"Alex," he shook his head, smiling.

"Oh I know, maybe your total lack of self control."

"Ok I've got it! I've been a dick. Happy?"

"Not yet," she teased him. He stopped her before she could speak again, putting his hand on her mouth.

"Shhh…" He chuckled, amused. "I'm really sorry," he said, serious again.

"It's okay," she said. "I read your note."

"You did? I wasn't sure you would receive it."

"Well, I managed to," she smiled, thinking about what she had done to have it back.

"So, we are okay?"

"Come on," she invited him, opening her arms for a hug. He exhaled, relieved. He took her in his arms and carried her suddenly in the air, making her turn. She uttered a little cry, laughing.

"You're mad," she grinned when he put her back on her feet.

"Not as much as you," he mocked.

"We are so similar," she said thoughtfully.

"We would be great together."

"Don't start…" She sighed.

"But it's true!"

"Damon, you know me well and I know you well. That's why I'm sure you knew that trying to kiss me after the party or fight with Lucas wouldn't really help you win me over," she said honestly. It was time for her to clear a few things up with him. "I think you did it because you thought I was going to go back to Lucas and that maybe, if you tried first to be with me, it might end differently. Am I wrong?"

"No," he confessed sadly.

"You don't have to think like that."

"You know, I wished many times that you would have never met him so you would have been with me."

"Maybe, maybe not. Damon…" She thought about what she wanted to say. Maybe it was a good time to tell him the truth after all. Time to give him back his freedom. "I know you love me and I'm sure you know I love you too. I know you would make me happy, but I'm not sure I would make you happy. I would not love you enough, not as much as you do, not as much as you deserve to be loved."

"It would be enough. Having you would already be enough," he replied eagerly.

"No, it wouldn't. We are there for each other, we care for each other. You know me and I know you. We work together as a team and we are good at it. But I've experienced… something else before you. Another kind of relationship that made the difference."

"Passion."

"I don't know what it is… was. But it's too late. I consider you like a brother. I would do anything for you but I can't give you this one thing you're asking me for. I'm sorry."

"I can give you time… To think. I know you feel something for me. I can sense how I make you feel… Physically. I make you nervous."

"Damon, I love you so much. But I don't want to be your girlfriend. I don't want all the stuff that goes with it. I just want us the way we are now. I want to feel free to love you as a friend, the greatest friend I see in you. I don't want to continue feeling this awkwardness that had installed between us. If you don't think it's possible then maybe we should... Maybe we should stop seeing each other."

"If I was him, I would have never let you go."

"But you're not him," she replied more harshly than she intended.

"If you say so," he said, clearly annoyed.

"It would not be fair to let you believe that something could happen between us, Damon. The fact that I'm not with Lucas is not going to help you."

"I'm still waiting for you to realize how wrong you are."

"I am not the one. I am not your one."

"Alex, I love you. But clearly you love Lucas and even if I don't like to admit it, he loves you too. You have some strange force field effect on each other. Physicists should study it," Damon chuckled drearily. "And I can't compete with your love, it's too strong, too deep… too unique. Like soul mates." Damon had suddenly found the word he had searched for so long to define her relationship with Lucas. It was obvious for him now that he clearly had to move on.

"Damon…" She sighed, shutting her eyes. "It's not about Lucas. It's not about you. It's me. I told you that." Alexandra was embarrassed by Damon's insinuation. She was trying hard to stay away from Lucas and apparently she was not doing a great job. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry it happened. But I just can't help it."

"I guess it's okay. I can't blame you for being honest, can I?" He gave her a small smile.

"No, I guess you can't."

"I just need to find someone else to fall in love with. Easy task," he mused.

"I know someone who might be interested," she grinned. It seemed to lighten his mood.

"And who would that be?" He smiled crookedly.

"Trinity."

"Trin?"

"Yes,_Trin_," she mocked. "This little blond girl you're working with sometimes…"

"No, she likes me, but…"

"But she's so ugly, stupid and all, not very your type," she taunted him.

"Shut up," he shoved her, embarrassed.

Alexandra knew Damon would not forget about her so fast, but it was a good start. Trinity was going to be the solution to this problem. Not that Damon was a problem, but his envy of being with her was not helping. Alexandra was going to do everything that she could to make them go together. She wanted him to be happy and it was what he would be. It was the least she could do for him. And knowing he would be in good hands once she'd be gone was a sweet idea to cling to.


	59. In your eyes

**Merry Christmas! ;) **

* * *

><p><strong>In your eyes<strong>

Like the two previous nights, Alexandra was tired, but couldn't sleep. She hated it. Grumbling to her nervous body and weak mind, she stood up from her bed and got dressed again. She put on a pair of shorts and a tank top, and walked straight to the front door, leaving the house.

She walked quickly in the warm and thick air, trying to free her mind from all of the interrogations she had. She started to walk faster as theories rushed through her mind, then jog, and ended running. She sprinted a long time, until she eventually stopped, noticing she had gone back home. She looked at her watch and realized she had been out for an hour and a half.

"And I'm not even tired," she mumbled grumpily.

"Alex?"

In no time to acknowledge whoever called her, a gun was pointed in the direction of where the voice came from.

"Wow," Lucas chuckled, surprised, holding his hands in the air. "I mean you no harm!"

"You never know what you might encounter at night," she teased, lowering her pistol.

"That's not a way to welcome someone!"

"You surprised me."

"Sorry."

"No, it's me. I'm a little… jumpy. I haven't been sleeping very well lately."

"Thoughts of me?" He grinned widely. She crossed her arms over her chest, arching her eyebrows. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinking about myself." She rolled her eyes, sighing with annoyance. "I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'll be fine when you leave," she retorted.

"Right! But actually, I want you to come with me."

"Why?"

"I think it's time we make peace, don't you think?"

"Depends on what kind of peace you've got in mind," she stated. He raised a doubtful eyebrow at her, his expression shrewd.

"I don't see what you're implying…"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Ah ah, yeah. Well, this is not what you think. Let's have a fresh start. I want to show you something."

"Okay, show me."

"Not here. I need you to come with me."

"Where?"

"I can't tell you!"

"Why?"

"It's a surprise"

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise! This is precisely the goal that you know nothing."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I want to do that."

"Humor me," he begged her with beady eyes. She frowned, unsure. "Don't you trust me enough?"

She looked at him for a moment, considering it and eventually nodded.

"Close your eyes."

"No!" she scowled.

"Come on!" He insisted.

"No!" She glared at him.

"Pleeeeease," he pretended to beg, tilting his head to the side, eyes wide open, acting like a puppy who wanted a hug.

"Ok," she sighed. "But don't do anything stupid or I'll kick your ass."

"Promise," he swore, with a huge smile on his face, putting his right hand over his heart. She shook her head, smiling.

"God what am I gonna do with you," she grumbled.

"Come on," he said, grabbing her arm and turning her. He gently tied the blindfold around her head. "Let's go," he whispered into her ear. While having her eyes shut, she was suddenly hyper-aware of his presence behind her. She couldn't get use to it. Every time he was close to her, her heart would race. She was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through her.

They walked for at least ten minutes until Alexandra had enough wandering about.

"Are you trying to get me lost?" She groaned. As he didn't answer, she insisted. "Lucas?"

"No, I'm not," he chuckled.

"Then why are we going round in circles for at least ten minutes now?"

"You did notice, didn't you? I forgot you were that smart!" he joked.

"Honestly, I'm really sad you underestimate me that much," she smiled lightly.

"You don't know how to take a compliment, do you?"

"Wait, there was a compliment in what you said?"

"Kinda, yes," he smirked.

"Are we there yet? I don't like being in the dark…"

"Just a few more steps and we'll be there."

She heard him open a door, they walked inside a building and he locked the door. She wasn't sure that this was a good idea anymore.

"You can open your eyes now." She opened her eyes to realize Lucas had taken her into The Eye. "Music," he ordered. "Breakbot, Baby I'm yours," he precised, and music started to play.

"_I thought I had it all together but I was led astray the day you walked away. You were the clock that was ticking in my heart, changed my state of mind but love's so hard to find…"_

Alexandra cracked a smile, staring at the ground. Lucas would always surprise her. The choice of the song, this private place, his perfect green eyes looking at her with desire, his insolent smirk playing on his face… Yes, he definitely knew how to please her. Alexandra liked this song a lot and Lucas' care touched her a lot too.

Lucas was not a music fan, but since she had left, he had found comfort in the songs she used to like. All it took was one song to bring back a thousand memories to both of them. Lucas was talking to her through this song. He was telling her every word he couldn't pronounce.

"Would you do me the pleasure?" He asked her, holding his hand out to her. She smiled, and unlike at the party, she decided she would please him.

"Of course", she grinned, putting her hand in his.

"_Listen baby, your wish is my command. Baby won't you understand that your wish is my command. What can I do to make my baby understand?"_

He gently pulled her against him, put her hands on his shoulders and put his on her waist. Alexandra melted in his arms, he was warm and tender, just like she liked him. Her heart started beating really fast, and she was sure he could feel it against his chest. She felt her cheeks blushed and hid herself in his embrace.

She closed her eyes and laid her head in the crook of his neck. She felt him press his head on hers, his breath against her neck making her shiver and leading him to tighten his embrace. They danced slowly, close, during the whole song. It was not supposed to be a slow dance, but they didn't care. When it ended, they didn't stop dancing. They didn't want it to stop, they didn't want to go back to reality.

"You won't stop will you?" She whispered to his ear, a smile on her face.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Trying to get me back." She felt him chuckle.

"I'm not trying to get you back," he smirked. "But just to know, if I was, trying to get you back I mean, would it work?"

"Not at all," she smiled back. "But it would be a nice try, if you were, I mean."

"Of course, it's pure theory."

"Of course."

"Because you asked me not to."

"Exactly."

After a few more dances, Lucas made the eye project a picture of the jungle in the room and they laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Alexandra felt peaceful for the first time since a long time. She was clearly enjoying this time spent with Lucas. She couldn't help but think that he was the only one to know who she was, to understand her perfectly, to know what she truly needed.

It had been a while for Lucas since he had been able to lay down and just enjoy the moment. It was so pleasurable to be there with Alexandra and just appreciate someone's company.

"I never got the chance to tell you, but you were stunning in that dress the other night."

"Thanks, but it's only thanks to Maddy. She transformed me," she chuckled.

"You're stunning in whatever you wear," he said seriously.

"Yeah, right," she said doubtfully.

"I haven't slept with her you know," he confessed suddenly.

"Who?"

"Amy."

"Oh." It was the only sound that got out of her mouth at his confession. "I guess it's good news. I mean, she's not exactly the kind of girl you can stay with."

"When you know what it feels like to have sex with someone you really love, it's different. You don't want to waste your time with easy girls like her."

"So, what are you like now?" She asked, trying to forget that he had just tell her he really loved her.

"You know, lonely, tortured, evil... ever since I got my heart broken."

"Skye, Kristen, now Amy… They really did a number on you, huh?" She mocked.

"Come on, you know I'm not talking about them. I thought our story was… epic, you know, you and me."

"Epic?"

"Yeah, epic. You know, extraordinary life, fantastic and heroic adventure, and dramatic romance. Us living in the jungle, travelling the world, fighting for our liberty. Also violent wars, ruined lives, bloodshed. Epic."

"Lucas..."

"I'm sorry about last year," he cut. "I am really sorry. You know, if I could do it over..."

"Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?"

"No one writes songs about the ones that come easy."

"Since when are you listening to music?"

"Since I've got you in my life." She almost choked at his answer, but stayed silent for a moment before speaking again.

"You know, with everything that happened, everything we've been through, this kiss, with Skye, it seems so insignificant, it was so ridiculous. My reaction was disproportionate."

"No, it was not. You were right, I was wrong. It should have never happened. Don't underestimate what happened. I know I've been stupid and you had every right to do what you did after."

"Yet, it was nothing when you compare it to what happened next."

"You have always been honest with me and I hate myself because I didn't deserve your trust."

"Don't say that…"

"You're awesome. You're amazing. What you've been through in life... You stayed strong, kept your heart and protected your soul. You stayed yourself. That's incredible. You're incredible. There's no one else like you, Alex."

"I'm not that strong. I'm not strong, at all."

"Yes, you are. A lot more than me."

"No way, you've been through a lot more than me. You're the strongest person I know."

"Look where I was when I met you. I was not a good example of success," he smiled.

"You don't know me," she shook her head. "You know nothing about me. I don't know who I am anymore myself!"

"Maybe I don't know much about your life. Maybe I can't understand what you've been through. Maybe I can't know what it is to be you. But what I do know, it's who you are. I know who you are Alex. I do."

"No you don't. I have changed. You have changed. We are not the same people we were a year ago. You're different. I'm different." Her words were rude but her tone was just reflecting the sadness she had inside her.

"So you think. But you're wrong. I can see it. You're still that girl I met in the jungle, running away from danger but brave enough to face it when it's time. You're still that strong girl that shot a dino to save my life, that fought with the Sixers, escaped the Phoenix group, escaped your father."

"I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of escaping, I'm so bloody tired," she affirmed. "Do you know how much it cost me to act like I was someone else? A total heartless person? I did and said horrible things."

Lucas' gaze was locked on the ceiling. When he eventually turned his head back to look at her, his face was unreadable.

"Well... Actually I do," he said simply, his voice betraying the sadness he was feeling at the thought of it. She grimaced as she realized he was right.

"I always wondered..."

"Yes?"

"What was the deal between you and your father?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I... When I had the concussion. You've been allowed to stay and I never asked you why."

"No, you didn't."

"I didn't want to know but... I'm just curious now."

"Isn't it obvious, Alex?"

"No, it's not."

"You never asked me because you knew. You knew fair well the reason why I've been allowed to stay here, why I wanted to stay and why I stayed."

"I wished it was for you, for your father…"

"But you know it was for you only. My father would have never allowed me to stay otherwise. And God knows I would have never stayed if it was not for you," he chuckled. "You were the only reason why I could stand to see my father every day, talk to him, listen to him. I would have not survived without you."

"Rubbish, you don't need me to survive."

"I need you to survive here. I need a very good reason to stay here. The fact that I was not able to live here during your… absence is enough proof."

"You say that now, but I'm sure you didn't give him a try."

"No, I did. But I couldn't."

"Maybe with time..."

"Alex, my father and I, we fought a lot. You have no idea how far I've been."

"Not as far as you wanted to before, because obviously he's still alive," she joked lightly, laughing off the situation.

Lucas didn't reply to her comment. Tonight was not about his father and she didn't need to know what happened with his father during her absence.

"I'm sorry for your mother," he claimed.

"You shouldn't," Alexandra said honestly. "She died because of love, it was the perfect death for her."

"I'm sorry for your loss. I am sorry for us."

"Well, sometimes love makes you do stupid things."

"No need to tell me," he chuckled sadly.

There was always that one special person in a lifetime that no matter what they do to you, you just couldn't let them go. That was exactly what Lucas was to her, he was everything. He meant so much to her that it was hurting her to know she had to stay away from him.

"What did you say before you… grabbed that knife?" Lucas asked eventually after a long moment of silence.

"I said nothing."

"I saw you murmuring something."

"I don't remember," she lied, her hand reaching instinctively to her throat.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

"No I... I don't remember I said something."

"You don't have to tell me, but please, don't lie to me." She looked at him and his eyes were begging her to stay honest with him.

"I said… I said _forgive me_."

"Forgive me? Forgive you for what?"

"I'm not really sure."

Lucas didn't insist more, seeing how painful it was for her to remind it.

"I know I asked you too much. A lot more than I should have asked you."

"No, it's not true. It's… okay, I'm okay."

"I would have never forgiven myself if I had killed your light."

"You're all forgiven. For everything you've done. It's just how life is. You know, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad."

"Nothing good ever stays with me. Absolutely nothing."

"Don't say that. I'm with you," she swore, putting her hand on his bruised one. "I stay with you." She shouldn't promise him things she knew she couldn't keep, but she needed him to know he was a good person, someone valuable, someone that had to believe in himself.

Lucas glanced at his hand, clamped in hers. He slowly let his fingers go between her fingers, the contact of their skin giving him goose bumps. Lucas didn't want to push her too hard and had to control himself to not jump on her right now. "_One step after another_," he told himself.

"I learnt something that day. We can't save everyone. We have to make choices. I should have chosen you."

Alexandra pressed her lips together, not commenting on his statement. What could she say? Telling him he should have saved her wouldn't help, would it? She couldn't blame him for what happened to her, it would not be fair. She didn't move, allowing him to be closer, well aware of how much he needed it and, strangely, how much she needed it too.

"What's that countdown on your watch?"

Alexandra was not surprised Lucas eventually noticed it. He had always been a precise person. And now, with her right hand in his, he was right in front of it.

"It´s the time I spent here," she replied simply. "Almost 3 days," she pointed out, taking her hand back to look at the watch.

Lucas didn't ask why she was counting the days since she arrived, even if he really wanted to know. He had to play nice tonight. Since the beginning of their little trip to the Eye, nothing wrong had happened and he liked it to stay that way.

"3 days only. I've the feeling it's a lot more."

"Me too," she exhaled slowly.

They both stayed silent again, lost in their own thoughts.

"I lied to you," Alexandra told him, breaking their reveries.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really." Her fingers were playing with the hem of her shirt absentmindedly, her mind focused on her thoughts.

"How did that stay unnoticed?" He chuckled.

"Just because you didn't have time to remark it," she replied with a strained smile.

"About what?"

"About Skye… About what happened between you two."

Lucas stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

"I lied to you when I said that I couldn't forgive you. Because I forgave you. Actually, if I'm really honest, I had already forgiven you when I came back from the Badlands. But I wanted you to pay for what you've done to me. I guess, I just wanted you to suffer like I suffered. I also wanted you to fight for me. But then… We both know what happened then."

"I would have won you back, you know? I would have done everything to make you forget my mistake, to win your trust back."

"The truth is… I don't care about what happened between you two. I don't care that you kissed her. I don't care she kissed you. I don't care because I believed you when you said it was nothing. I believed you when you said that I was the only one that mattered. I believed you when you said that you loved me. And I believe you when you're saying that you still love me. Actually, I always believed you. I always trusted you and I still do. And that's the problem. With what happened, I can't, we can't be together. We've been through too much. You're my weakness, Lucas. I can't help but trust you and it drove me to the darkest side of me. I need to stay away from you."

The fact that they were talking to each other without looking at each other was helping them. They felt free to say whatever they wanted to.

"I also have something to tell you," Lucas said, breaking the silence that had installed again. "I've not been totally honest with you. After my mother was killed, something inside me changed. It was like I built up a wall inside me. I don't know, I guess I just didn't want to be hurt like that again. But it ended up helping me to avoid pain but also love. Only after what happened last year, I realized I would not be able to be the kind of person that I wanted to be, unless I accepted the fact that I loved you too much to lose you, that I loved you too much to not tell you I needed you."

"Lucas…" She winced.

"I'm really sorry. I know you wanted a guy to trust and I wanted to be that person so badly. And I let you down in a lot of ways. You were the foundations of our relationship. I always thought you would be there. It was not fair to think like that. And... It's good that you're mad at me. You have every right to be mad at me. You deserve a guy who's good and who doesn't lie to you. There are good guys out there who aren't assholes like me."

"You're not an asshole, you're just… an arrogant genius," she chuckled lightly.

"I won't hurt you anymore. I can't. I don't want you to lose the life's wonder that's left in you. But I don't want my touch to be like strangers to you. I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart and I can't stand seeing you that detached from me. I can't feel anymore. My love is trapped in your heart. Without you I'm lost, crushed, cold and confused, with no guiding light left inside. You were my guiding light Alex. When I need comfort and warmth it's you that I'm looking for. I need you in my life Alex, even if it means we have to stay friends."

His confession was too much for her. How could she stay away from him when he was clearly begging her to stay with him? When he was opening his heart to her? She needed to be honest with him, at least on a few things.

"I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear... I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these... I just miss you… I want us to be friends again."

"So, are we friends now?"

"Yes, we are," she smiled.

"Good," he grinned broadly.

"I appreciate it."

"What?"

"You. Being my friend again. I know it's not what you wanted but I'm happy you changed your mind."

Lucas didn't reply, not wanting to lie to her. Because if he was honest with her, he would tell her that being her friend was just the first step of his plan to win her back.

They spent the rest of the night listening to music Alexandra liked. She had a lot of fun asking The Eye about songs she knew. It was not Lucas's type of music, he wasn't even sure he had one, but it didn't matter. He was with her, and he loved to see her happy.

Alexandra laughed a lot that night. She really enjoyed her time with Lucas, above all now they had made peace and talked freely. He could be so generous. At the same time, she had felt sad. It had reminded her how much she had missed him, how much she was addicted to him, why she was not with him anymore and above all, why she had to stay away from him, to protect him.

Alexandra eventually fell asleep next to Lucas, feeling safe and peaceful. As she was only wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, and that The Eye was underground, the cold temperature made her shiver quite a lot. It reminded Lucas of the first night he had slept with her at the falls. And like that night, he couldn't stand to see her quivering. But this time, he didn't hesitate coming closer and taking her in his arms. She mumbled something that Lucas translated as a, _thank you,_ mixed with a, _it's better warm_.

Hours later, when Lucas noticed it was already 5 in the morning, he knew he had to wake her up, even if he didn't want to. They were supposed to work in less than three hours. He knew Alexandra enough to be sure she'd like to have a shower before they go back to work. He took the less courage he had left and shook her shoulders lightly.

"Alex," he whispered. She groaned in response. "Alex," he insisted.

Instead of waking up, she moaned and turned to bury her head against his chest. That was too much for him and suddenly all of his resolve was gone. He tightened his embrace to pull her even closer. It was so pleasurable to have her in his arms, to feel her, to smell her, to touch her.

Two hours later, she started jigging in her sleep, slowly waking up.

"Morning sleeper," Lucas said in a husky voice.

"Morning," she murmured, keeping her eyes shut.

"It's time to wake up."

This scene seemed so familiar and heartwarming to Alexandra that a faint smile started to spread over her face. This warmth, this smell, this voice… Oh, oh. She opened her eyes quickly. It took her time to remember where she was and who she was with.

"What time is it?" She asked eagerly as she sat up quickly, moving away from him.

"It's 7."

"You let me fall asleep?" She asked, stunned.

"You looked so peaceful…"

"I should go home," she cut him off, standing up.

"I'll walk you," he said in a no negotiating tone.

He walked her home, the air already warm outside. Alexandra felt a little bit disturbed, having Lucas so close to her had awaken some intense sensations.

"I think it's okay if you're not at the lab this morning," he told her. "You should sleep. You still look tired."

"Are you giving me my morning, Sir?" She asked, amused.

"Yes," he grinned broadly. "I give you some time off to sleep."

Lucas appeared to lean in for a kiss at one stage, which he planted modestly on her forehead. He gave her a cheeky smile and turned to leave her.

"Lucas?"

"Yes?"

"I..." She stepped closer to him, struggling to put in words what she wanted to tell him. His sparkling green eyes staring at her were not helping her to think straight. "I just wanted you to know that... That no matter what happen in the future, we are okay."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously on her, making her uncomfortable, almost regretting the urge she had had to be honest with him."I mean... If we have to be separated again, for one reason or another, I want you to know that we're even."

"Why are you saying that?" Lucas didn't like her insinuation about their possible separation. Why was she talking like she was saying good bye?

"I just want you to know it. That I forgive you, for everything. That we are okay. 'Cause we are okay, right?"

"Yes, we are."

"Good," she smiled, before giving him a quick hug and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I better go to sleep."

Lucas was happy, because for the first time since she was back, she had willingly come to him. It was the first step to something else. Who would have thought that his father could be right one day?

_"Be patient and give her some time and some space, and she'll come back to you," his father had said._

Lucas had not been able to give her some space, but he was strongly fighting with himself to give her some time. Being patient was not his normal behavior, but it was something easier when she was around. And actually, it had always been. She knew how to calm him down, just like his mother used to be.

Lucas recomposed his puzzled face and his bragging attitude returned in a second.

"Do you need me to stay with you?" He drawled. "Just in case you need my heat again."

"I'm gonna survive," she chuckled, before going inside her house.

Alexandra missed his warmth already but couldn't tell him that. It would not be fair. She had to keep to her plan, even if she felt horrible. She hated the situation, she hated not being honest with Lucas, above all after the night they had just spent. But it wouldn't help, would it? Could she be wrong? If Lucas knew the truth, it would be worse. He would act stupidly, she was sure of it. No, she had to stick to her plan, the one she had decided to follow before her feelings started disturbing her.

* * *

><p>A whole LucasAlex's chapter! And a big one! The biggest chapter ever written! Did you like it?

Can they just stay friends? Doesn't sound possible, does it? We'll find out soon! Only twelve chapters left before the end of this story!

Author Note : I must thank Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls for inspiring me for the "epic" part!


	60. Caught off guard

**Happy New Year 2013!**

* * *

><p><strong>Caught off guard<strong>

Lucas went back home to have a shower before heading back to the lab. His night had been a success and he couldn't stop himself from simpering.

"What's going on with you?" Mark asked, perplex.

"Nothing," Lucas grinned.

"Your father was looking for you last night."

"Oh, and what did he want that was so important that he came here to find me?"

"He didn't tell me. I think he wanted to know if you had made progress on the portal."

"I'll go and see him later," Lucas said with no conviction.

"You didn't come home last night, did you?" Mark smiled.

"Sorry wife, should I have called to tell you?" Lucas taunted him.

"I waited for you," Mark said, faking to be sad.

"Sorry, I didn't know I needed to report to you every night!"

"Anyway, your dinner is in the fridge, hubby," Mark replied jokingly.

"I think I'll pass on that. I need a shower."

"As you wish," Mark said, ready to leave. "Oh, by the way, I took all the hot water. I hope you don't mind cold shower?"

Lucas grabbed one of the cushions from the sofa and threw it at Mark who was fast enough to avoid the collision.

"That's what I thought," he chuckled. "See you later!"

Even if Lucas had given Alexandra her morning to sleep, she knew she couldn't. She was overexcited and at the same time her body was aching from her sleep on the ground. A good hot shower would surely help. She stayed under the spray until her muscles relaxed, letting her mind wander about her last meeting with Lucas. She was quite happily surprised by the turn of events. Lucas' affection was heartwarming. Thinking about his previous closeness sent her heart racing. Why was it so easy for him to turn her world upside down, and break all the resolutions she had?

His presence had always made her lose control. It was such a pleasurable time. She realized she was smiling absentmindedly at the thought of his hot body and her grin vanished in a second. She stepped out of the shower, upset.

"What do you think you're doing? Huh? Are you stupid or what? You're just gonna hurt him more!" She scolded to her reflection in the mirror. "And you're talking to yourself aloud like there's someone else in the room... Freaky," she muttered. She thought about Lucas' tenderness one last time before she stopped.

"Stop dreaming girl, this is not gonna happen," she reminded herself severely.

Frustrated by her lack of will, she grabbed her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth violently with anger. She grimaced as she tasted blood in her mouth. She spat into the sink and looked at her mouth in the mirror. Her gums were bleeding. She cursed herself for her brutality.

All of a sudden, she clamped her hand over her mouth. Nausea invaded her stomach in a second. She tried to breathe to ease the sensation, but failed miserably and ran to the toilet to vomit. The toothpaste mixed with the blood tasted like rust in her mouth. Once, twice and then a third time, all she could vomit was bile. Her stomach was twitching of pain as it was totally empty. She realized her last meal was the breakfast from the previous day. Maybe she should eat something. It was always worst on an empty stomach.

Once she was sure she would not throw up again, she sat next to the bowl, exhausted. How could she be so sick? She started calculate in her head and then, she understood. She gasped as she realized what it meant. What she feared the most was happening. And even if she had thought about it a thousand times, she couldn't stop the fear for growing up inside her. Her chest suddenly felt too tight, like she couldn't breathe. She tried to calm down but she couldn't.

She paced in the bathroom, thinking about a solution. As nothing came, she sat back in the corner of the room, suddenly exhausted. Why was she trying to find a solution? There was none and she knew it. She bit her bottom lips in nervousness, upset. Then she saw it, the shudder of her right hand.

"No way…" She mumbled to herself. Pain started irradiating her forearm and the shaking started to increase. Stress was taking its toll on her, making it worst. She grabbed her arm with her left hand and tried to stop it from trembling. She tightened her jaw to stop herself from screaming of pain. It hurt so much, she was afraid to throw up again. How could this happen now?

She really needed some painkillers, she had to ease this sharp pain. She had nothing at home and couldn't ask Dr. Shannon. She knew Elisabeth would ask why and she didn't want her to know. Alexandra stood up and left her house, ready to find a way to break into the pharmacy. Soon, the infirmary would be crowded, she had to hurry.

In less than 5 minutes, she reached the infirmary and discreetly broke into the lab, opening a backside window, and began to look for painkillers. She searched everywhere but didn't find them. Of course, they were probably hidden somewhere, locked in a closet. She sighed, rolling her eyes and then stopped as her eyes landed on something. Two boxes of painkillers were on top of a piece of furniture. She quickly grabbed a chair and climbed on it trying to reach them. They were just too high. She stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms up, cursing herself for not being tall enough. Her feet were suddenly too close to the edge and the chair leaned forward abruptly, dropping Alexandra with it.

She let out a little cry but strangely, she did not fall to the ground. Somebody had caught her. She met the eyes of her savior and remained subjugated by his beautiful green eyes. Lucas. They stayed motionless, staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Her heart was racing and she could feel Lucas' pulse growing too. She had been caught by the one she wanted the least to see her. Now she would have to give explanations.

As Lucas headed to the headquarters, he had seen somebody breaking into the lab. He had followed the thief and had realized it was Alexandra. He had kept an eye on her the whole time until she had fallen from the chair. Before, he had doubts about her, but now he was sure she was up to something. She acted awkwardly since her return. Breaking into the infirmary was really not something the Alexandra he knew would do.

"Can I help you?" Dr. Shannon interrupted, a questioning look on her face. Her arrival brought them back to reality. Lucas was still holding Alexandra in his arms. She flushed, confused. Lucas gave her a last interrogative look and placed her gently on her feet.

"I… And he… So," she stammered an explanation they could not understand, gesturing with her hands. She looked at them anxiously and went out without further delay. Dr. Shannon gave a questioning glance at Lucas, who only shrugged in response and left too. Dr Shannon stayed stunned in the room, not knowing what to think about what had just happened. Lucas tried to follow Alexandra, but when he came out, she was already gone.

Alexandra held her breath until she was finally out. She sneaked into an alley and leaned against a wall. She breathed heavily and shut her eyes, trying to calm down. She cursed herself for being so negligent. Now, Lucas was going to ask her questions and he would not let her rest until he had some answers. The tears came unbidden and she cried without knowing the exact reason for the emotion. She looked around her and once she was sure she was really alone, she just let herself go in her sorrow.

She didn't know how long she stayed in the grips of sadness, but eventually, she had cried herself to sleep, her back against the unit, in a sitting position. As the sun went down slowly, she awoke, its light playing on her eyelids. She stood up with difficulty and went back home to hide herself from the rest of the world, feeling miserable. When she reached her house, she found a message asking her to join the commander at the headquarters. That was it, she was going to be accused of robbery and she would have to explain everything.

She pressed her lips, thinking. She had to go, she couldn't stay at her house while they were waiting for her. She had to be strong. She wiped her face with her hands to erase the traces of tears but knew it had not been enough the second she entered the headquarters. Taylor, Jim, Damon and Lucas, everyone looked at her with varying degrees of concern on their respective faces. She forced a smile as nothing was going on and that seemed to satisfy everyone except Lucas. He stared at her for a few seconds longer before turning his attention to his father's desk where a plan was.

"Alex, glad to see you," Taylor welcomed her.

"Sorry, I'm late. I..."

"Lucas told us he gave you some time off to sleep. It's okay," Jim cut her.

"What's going on?" She asked innocently.

"We were looking at your impressive work," Damon smiled.

Alexandra relaxed as she understood she had not been convoked because of what she had done in the morning but because of her work on the portal.

"It's not that impressive," she felt the need to argue.

"I think it is," Taylor insisted. "From what Lucas told us, we are on the good way to create our own portal with our own time fracture. Of course, we still need to find the components to create the portal, but it's really good news."

Alexandra stared absentmindedly at the plan that was on Taylor's desk. A new portal, soon. Was it really good news? It meant so much more than just a new way to the future, to medicine and technology. Her heart started quickening at the thought of what it would bring.

"Are you still with us, Miss Paris?" Taylor asked her, dragging her out from her reverie.

"Yes, Commander, always," she smiled immediately in reflex, but the way he looked at her betrayed the doubts he was having. "I'm listening," she added seriously to convince him.

"Day dreaming about OTG?" He wondered. Her mouth gaped at his innuendo. She looked at Jim who shrugged lightly, like he was not the one who had told him. "Do you really think I wouldn't notice you went OTG?" Taylor asked, appraising her with his piercing eyes.

"I guess I hoped so," she confessed shyly.

She felt Lucas observing her intensively and she shuddered slightly, embarrassed. He knew too much but not enough. He was going to dig until he found the truth.

"_Fight at Boylan's," _a voice was suddenly heard through the walkie-talkie_. "Josh Shannon involved," _the voice pointed out_._

"Josh," Jim growled.

"_Commander, we need reinforcement here!_" A second voice said that Alexandra recognized as Mark's voice.

"Let's go," Taylor commanded Jim and Damon. "Wait for us here," he added to Lucas and Alexandra who were ready to follow them. "I think you did enough last time."

Alexandra felt unfairly accused. She was not part of the last fight at Boylan's. She folded her arms on her chest, annoyed. Lucas waited for his father to be gone before grabbing Alexandra's arm and turning her to face him.

"Are you working for your father?" He asked bluntly.

"What?" She choked.

"Is Charles forcing you to do something you don't want to?" He inquired.

"Forcing me?"

"Did he send you here?"

"I came back here through a portal in the air, nearly crashed down with a helicopter. Do you really think that it looks like one of my father's plan?"

Lucas raised a doubtful eyebrow at her, his expression unreadable.

"Are you a drug addict?"

"Pardon?" She asked, stunned.

"Are you?"

"No!"

"You broke into the pharmacy!"

"No! No, I'm not!" She defended herself vigorously.

"Then, what were you doing?"

"Nothing, I… Are you gonna tell your father?"

"No!" He grimaced as if the idea repulsed him. "Of course not!"

"Then I have nothing to say."

"Just tell me what's going on and I'll help you fix it."

"You can't fix this."

"Tell me," he pleaded to her. "Let me help you. I can't help you if you're not honest with me."

"I don't need your help, Lucas. There's nothing to fix. I'm fine. No one is forcing me to do something I don't want to do. I follow my own plans, _my _decisions. Stop digging for something that doesn't exist!"

Lucas raised an eyebrow at Alexandra's innuendo, but obediently stopped questioning her.

Alexandra wanted to be strong but only felt weaker in his presence. Her heart was heavier than ever and tears, once again, were threatening to come. She didn't want him to affect her like this, but she couldn't control it. She was affected by anything he was saying, anything he was doing.

"I thought we were friends," Lucas insisted.

"We are. You just have to believe me when I say I'm not working for my father. I am not betraying the colony. I swear," she said firmly.

Lucas stared at her, frustrated. She was not telling him why she had broken into the pharmacy, just why she wouldn't. But he could see she was not lying. Once again, she seemed afraid. Lucas held his hand to her face and slowly caressed her cheek. His gaze wandered to her cheek, her lips, then back to her blue eyes.

"I believe you," he eventually answered.

"Thank you," she murmured gratefully. His concern for her was even harder to handle. She had never felt that way with anyone. If she was honest with herself, she knew it very well, he was the only one who could move her so deeply. He had succeeded making her experience the worst and the best. Still, she was terrified that whatever he would do, whatever he would say, her heart would always drive her back to him.

"Next time, I'll put him in the brig," Taylor warned Jim as they entered the room.

Lucas' hand left Alexandra's cheek in a second. He put both his hands in his pockets, acting nonchalantly.

"What happened?" He asked, even if he clearly didn't care.

Alexandra observed him as he played the relaxed guy. There was so much tension a minute ago, it was disturbing to see how he had easily turned back to his _normal _self.

"My son fought with some soldiers," Jim groaned.

"I don't think it's the first time," Lucas chuckled. "Maybe you should be more severe with him, no?"

"Lucas, you are really not in a position to give advice," his father told him seriously.

"I think we have more important things to discuss," Damon reminded them. "Let's focus on our plan, would you?"

"Our bigger problem is we don't know what we are facing. Charles could arrive in five minutes or in five years, there's no way we can be prepared properly," Jim stated.

"My father is not stupid. Why would he come back here, now? He has plenty of time to prepare his arrival. The more time he takes, the more time he leaves you without supplies."

"Or more time to prepare ourselves," Taylor claimed.

"In any case, she's right. What we need is to know when he's going to arrive," Damon confirmed.

"We can't know that, can we?" Jim asked Lucas.

"If we could control his portal, we could determine when he's coming. But there's only one way to do it. That's going to him and changing the parameters of his portal."

"It's impossible," Alexandra said firmly. "You can't do that."

"I just need a portal," Lucas retorted.

"Even if you had one, he wouldn't let you do that. He wouldn't let you approach his portal. It would be a suicide mission."

"You did it in the past. I don't see why I couldn't do it."

"You're not me, that's a good reason."

"I think you overestimate your dear father," Lucas argued.

"My father is not known for his patience. Above all now he has no one to restrain him. I bet he's so mad at me that he has probably killed every person he thinks I worked with. He's dangerous, I'm not overestimating him, it's just better if we don't underestimate him either."

"I could highjack his portal, like you did."

"This is really hazardous to play with a timeline. _You _told me that. Me, I just broke the portals he made. You, you want to modify it. It's not the same. And, like I said, there's only one left, my father would not allow anyone to approach it. It's probably hidden in a secured area known by him only."

"I bet you know where he would hide it."

"No, I don't. You're dreaming if you believe he hasn't changed everything I know. When my father will be here, because, just to be clear, he's gonna come here for me, for us. When he'll be here, he's gonna destroy everything. This is how he works. When something or someone is not as he wants it to be, he destroys it. Terra Nova is not an exception. Dead can't speak, that's how he likes it; quiet."

"We need to make him quiet first then," Lucas drawled, his tone menacing.

"Easy," Damon snarled.

"I don't believe that," Alexandra contested.

"So what do you believe, then?" Jim questioned.

"I believe my father is smart. Now he knows I betrayed him, he won't trust anyone. I'm sure he's the only one with access to the portal. But I also believe my father is not unbreakable. I believe he'll make a mistake when he comes here. And I believe that when he does, someone will have to stop him. I believe I'm gonna stop him."

"You can't stop him on your own," Damon warned her.

"Watch me," she said seriously.

"I don't like the way you see it," Lucas started.

"You shouldn't have asked if you don't want to hear the answer." Her tone left no space for debate. She clearly didn't want to discuss about her vision of the situation. She felt angry and was not neutral when it came to her father. He was hers. She was the one who would destroy him, no one else. She had not fought so long to leave them to do it. She would finish the job she had started, with or without their help.

"Alex, this fight is not only yours. It's ours," Taylor told her. "We need to explore every possibility. Anyway, from now on, we must prepare ourselves for the worst. We need to produce more guns, we need to go to the quarry and bring back supplies. Lucas, do you think you can get with some Sixers to go there? I think Malcolm can…"

Alexandra's ears started to ring and Taylor's voice seemed suddenly too far to be heard. She narrowed her eyes on him, trying to listen more carefully, but it didn't change anything. She could feel her hand shaking again. She clenched her fist to stop it, only making it worst. This time, the pain invaded her whole arm. It was too much, she couldn't stand the ache. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she looked away to hide them. She couldn't act like that in front of them. Being upset was not helping. She exhaled and inhaled slowly to make the tears go away. Once she was sure she would not cry, she glanced back at them.

"Alex…" Lucas scowled.

"What?"

"You're…" Damon said, putting his fingers under his nose.

She stared at him, frowning, and mimicked him, reaching her fingers to her nose, to find out it was bleeding.

"Oh… It's… It's nothing. Just the heat. And I'm tired. I…"

"You're very pale," Jim stated with concern.

"You're going to faint," Lucas said, approaching her quickly.

"No! It's okay," she said, putting her hands in front of her to keep Lucas away. "I should… I should go and see Dr. Shannon," she suddenly said, leaving them.

They all looked at her leaving, a questioning look on their faces.

"What's going on with her?" Taylor asked once she was gone.

Jim shook his head. "She has been acting awkwardly since she came back. I'm sure she's hiding something from us. Something important. She's not the girl I used to know."

"I don't know," Damon replied with a sigh. "Maybe she just needs time. She's been through a lot."

As Lucas didn't say a word, they all looked at him.

"What?"

"Do you know something we don't?" Taylor asked suspiciously.

"No, I don't," he lied.

Lucas was not stupid, he knew there was something. Alexandra was not herself since her arrival. First, she had mood swing and that was really not like her. Second, she looked tired all the time. Third, she had tried to steal painkillers from the infirmary, and that was not a small thing to do.

All of those details were linked, Lucas was sure, but he didn't know how. She had swore she was not working for her father, neither a drug addict, and he believed her. At least, if she had been a spy or an addict, it would have explained everything. The fact that she asked him to stop digging was making the whole thing a lot stranger.

Damon was staring at Lucas. He clearly didn't believe him. There was something really bothering her, something Lucas couldn't figure out, something she obviously hadn't told anyone.

Alexandra ran to the infirmary and found Dr Shannon working with Skye.

"Dr. Shannon? Can I have a word with you please?"

"Yes, sure;" she agreed.

"In private," she added, as she noticed Skye staying in the room.

"Sure. Skye, could you leave us, please?"

"Of course," she replied.

"So what is it Alex? How can I help you?" Dr. Shannon asked when Skye had shut the door.

"I'm here 'cause I need painkillers," she said with confidence.

"Why?" She asked, still suspicious after what had happened in the morning.

"I have trouble adjusting to the heat here and my nose just bled."

"You don't need painkillers for that. Lay down a minute, drink more water and…"

"My muscles are hurting. I think it's because of my time travel. Also, I don't sleep very well. I was wondering if you could give me some painkillers, so I could ease the pain."

"Doesn't sound like a consequence of time travel. I mean, do you have other symptoms?"

"I… Maybe it's just the fall from the portal then. I might have bruised a muscle. I'm a little bit stiff."

"Well, I told you that you should have let me check you the day you arrived," she lectured her, yet her tone was motherly. "Your fall does concern me a bit. I'm gonna do a scan. Lay on the bed."

"I don't think I need a scan or anything else. Paracetamol would be enough."

"Alex, are you telling me all of the truth?" She questioned, folding her arms on her chest.

"Yes! Why can't people stop asking me if I'm telling the truth!" She yelled with anger.

"I didn't want to say you were lying to me..." She retorted, quite shocked by Alexandra's reaction.

"I'm… I'm sorry. Sorry. I should not have yelled. The pain is driving me mad," she tried to joke. "Could you just give me something for the pain, please?"

"I'm just worried, you look exhausted."

"It's just… I just… I just," she stammered as her hand started shaking again. The pain was unbearable, burning her body from the inside. She couldn't stop her eyes from filling with tears.

"Alex, sweetheart, tell me, what's really going on?" Dr. Shannon asked, really worried now.

"It was not supposed to happen," she started to say, crying, unable to stop the tears from falling.

"What do you mean?"

"It was not part of my plan. I was not supposed to come back here. Being here, it feels wrong, so wrong. I was just supposed to destroy my father's work, end his devastating plan. Instead I failed and now... Now I'm here."

"Why is it so bad?"

"I can't tell you," she said, shaking her head. "Can't you just give me the medicine?"

"You know I can't," Dr. Shannon said with regret. "You need to talk first."

"I talk, and then you give me something?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I'm here as a patient. You can't tell anyone what I'm gonna tell you, right?"

"Alex…"

"Anyone! I'm talking to my doctor, to Doctor Shannon, not Elisabeth, not my friend. Understood?"

"Okay."

"Promise me."

"I promise you. Whatever you're gonna say will stay between the two of us."

Alexandra made a pause to find the courage to tell Dr Shannon her story. She knew that once she would have said it out loud, it would mean it was real. And even if she had thought a lot about it, only now she realized how little she was ready for it.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

"_My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love. But my mind holds the key. I'm standing on a stage of fear and self doubt. It's a hollow play. But they'll clap anyway. […] I'm living in an age that calls darkness light. Though my language is dead, still the shapes fill my head. I'm living in an age whose name I don't know. Though the fear keeps me moving still my heart beats so slow. […] Set my spirit free." My body is a cage - Peter Gabriel_


	61. No way out

**No way out**

It had been 3 days now since her confession to Doctor Shannon. Alexandra felt relieved having someone who knew her secret. But it was a heavy secret to carry and she could see how much Elisabeth struggled with it. She had promised she would not tell anyone, and it was exactly what she was doing, even if she obviously regretted it. Alexandra was well aware that soon, everyone would know the truth, but it didn't matter anymore. At the speed at which things were going, she would be gone before the others suspect anything.

As she walked absentmindedly back home, she stopped in front of an empty space between two buildings. She clenched her fists at the sight of where the cemetery used to be. She had heard that it had been moved in the Memorial Field outside the gates few months ago. Taylor had accepted a cemetery for the civilians inside the colony only to have them pleased. But it attracted predators and thus, it was a danger for Terra Nova. Even if she knew it, it saddened her more than she would have thought.

"Everything has to stop one day," she said flatly, quoting her father.

She tilted her head, staring at the bars of the fence. After a moment, she turned her head to look around her. She spotted two cameras that were moving on her and then away from her. When she was out of sight, with no hesitation, she ran to the fence and slid under it. Once in the wild, she walked straight in front of her, in no direction in particular. She wanted to go to the memorial field but had actually no idea where it was. She knew Taylor would be upset if he knew she was out, but she needed to go out and a little trip outside wouldn't hurt, would it?

Skye had seen Alexandra coming to the infirmary every day in the early morning and the late evening for the past three days. She knew Alexandra had spent almost 30 minutes each time with Dr. Shannon. Skye didn't know why Alexandra came, Dr Shannon never told her. It made her even more suspicious. It had to be something really serious otherwise Dr. Shannon wouldn't be so discreet on the subject.

Skye had deliberated a lot before making a decision about it. In the end, she had told Lucas about what she had noticed. She had known he would like to know if something was wrong with Alexandra and she had thought he deserved honesty. Skye owed him a lot and it was her turn to help him. When Alexandra left the infirmary on the third evening, Skye followed her. She hunted her down for an hour or so and suddenly lost track of her and got lost.

"Fuck!" Skye cursed herself, looking around her for any indication as to where she may be.

"Looking for something?" She heard a menacing voice behind her back say, making her jump in surprise. Skye turned slowly to face Alexandra who was staring blankly at her, arms folded over her chest.

"I… I was…" What was she doing? Skye didn't even have the answer to that question.

"Why did you follow me?" Alexandra asked, obviously upset.

"I… I don't know. I saw you going OTG and I felt…"

"Curious?"

"Worried."

"About what?"

"About your health."

"I'm healthy, thank you," she replied sardonically.

"I wanted to see if you were alright."

"I'm alright," she answered simply, tilting her head to the side, her eyes still staring at hers.

"I saw you at the infirmary. I know there's something going on," Skye eventually blurted out.

"And what did you see? Huh? Explain it to me. I'm really curious to know what you saw," Alexandra grinned mischievously.

"I saw you spent hours with Dr, Shannon. And it stayed secret, so I know it's something important."

"And maybe it's secret because it has to be. You are not that privileged after all," she taunted.

"I know you've got something."

"Like what?"

"Like something bad."

"Something bad?" She chuckled. "What kind of bad thing?"

"The kind that needs a patient to see a doctor twice a day. The kind that weakens you in a few days. The kind that doesn't seem to have a cure yet."

"A cure? For what?"

"For a disease."

"You think you're smart, don't you? Maybe I spend time with Elisabeth because we like to spend time together. Maybe we talk a lot and it's just nice to have a true friend, a real one, to talk to. Have you ever thought about that theory in that little head of yours?"

"I saw Dr. Shannon's face. She's very worried and anxious. Something is scaring her and I'm sure it's your life she's afraid to lose," Skye said firmly. Alexandra looked at her intensely, her deep blue eyes locked into her clear blue eyes. Her smiled faded and her face turned serious.

"_If _your theory was right. _If _I was ill. _If _there was no cure. _If _I was due to die," she pondered aloud, stepping dangerously close to Skye. "Then why bother?"

Her question startled Skye, leaving her speechless. She wasn't even sure why she was bothering. Was it for Lucas' sanity only?

"You are free to leave," Alexandra sneered.

"Why do I get the feeling that by _'free to leave_' you actually meant _'get the hell out of here'_?'" Skye frowned.

"Because you're smart," Alexandra replied gruffly before turning her back to her and walking away.

"Hey, wait!" Skye called her. "Alex, wait!"

"What for?" She replied, annoyance audible in her tone.

"I have no idea where we are!"

"You're such a pain," Alexandra rumbled. "You walk straight in that direction and you'll be back to the colony in less than an hour."

"It's gonna be dark soon, I have no lights."

"What a pity!" She sniggered. "And you're expecting me to take you by the hand and drive you back home?"

"I have no weapon with me," Skye felt the need to add.

"You go outside the gates without guns?" Alexandra asked her seriously, almost repremanding her. "You want to die?"

"I told you, I followed you. I never planned to go outside the gates!"

"Well, it's a shame because you should think twice before you play the little spy again."

"You won't abandon me here," Skye stated, almost challenging her.

"You might learn that we don't always have…"

An acute cackling, followed by a kind of small repetitive cooing, stopped Alexandra in her response. Both their bodies stiffened on the spot.

"Slashers," Skye murmured.

"Come slowly to me," Alexandra whispered, her gun already held in her hand, ready to shoot if needed.

Skye obediently stepped next to her. Alexandra kneeled down slowly and grabbed the gun that was tied to her ankle and gave it to Skye. They waited, motionless, ready for the worst.

"Alex, I…"

"Shush!" Alexandra glared at her.

The noise started again and some foliage started moving behind them. They quietly turned their head, just in time to see a Slasher's head appear from behind the leaves. Alexandra shot it immediately, making it disappear again in the thick jungle. Alexandra heard a second shot and saw that Skye had shot another Slasher.

"We need to run!" She told her firmly. "Now!"

They both ran away, as fast as they could, hurting themselves against the branches they found on their way, cutting their flesh, making the dinosaurs even more hungry.

"We need to climb!" Skye shouted, before screaming of fear when she literally bumped into a Slasher that appeared from nowhere. Alexandra stopped immediately and spotted Skye on the ground few meters away. She ran back to Skye, shooting to the Slasher twice. When she reached her, the Slasher had bolted away.

"Let's go," she said quickly, holding out her hand to Skye.

They continued running until they found a tree big enough for them to climb and hid. They stayed in silence during what seemed hours for them, staring at the ground while nine Slashers were pacing around the tree, waiting for their dinner to come down.

"I'm sorry," Skye eventually said, staring at Alexandra who was obviously fuming inside, her lips pressed together, her eyes darting to the ground thoughtfully. Skye knew if they had not stopped to talk earlier, the Slashers would have not heard them and would probably have not tracked them down.

Alexandra inhaled and exhaled slowly, shutting her eyes. She didn't know what to think about it. They were stuck in the air as long as the dinosaurs were there. There was no other solution than being patient. She knew it was not Skye's fault but couldn't stop anger from invading herself.

"Just… Shut up, please," she managed to say as nicely as possible.

Skye obediently kept her mouth close until Alexandra spoke again thirty minutes later.

"They're gone."

"You can't be sure," Skye said, knowing perfectly how vicious the Slashers could be.

"I'm gonna find out," she shrugged, starting to go down.

"What if they are still there?" Skye stopped her.

"I'll climb up again. I need to move. I'm not staying the whole night here. I'm gonna freeze to death."

"Alex, I really think we should stay here. It's less dangerous during the day."

"I need to go back to the colony before dawn," she informed her. "I'm going. If you want to stay, it's your choice. I'll tell them where you are."

"Okay," Skye sighed forcefully. "I'm coming." Skye didn't want to stay alone and neither let Alexandra go alone. Last time she had done that, Tasha had ended seriously injured and had almost died.

They carefully went down, paying attention to everything that was surrounding them. They walked few minutes in silence before ending in front of a deserted area, surrounding by the jungle. The moon was almost hidden by heavy thick clouds, but they could see it was a sort of dried muddy place with what looked like an old dead tree in the middle of it.

"Where are we?" Alexandra wondered aloud to herself.

"I think this time we definitely are off limit," Skye responded.

"I think we should reverse. We're heading the wrong way."

"We should have stayed in the tree," Skye said, a hint of fear audible in her voice.

"I think it's too late for regrets," Alexandra replied, her hand grabbing her gun. Skye turned her head and narrowed her eyes on what Alexandra was staring at. She couldn't see properly, not with the shadows of the trees swaying out from the jungle, but by the sound of it, she knew the Slashers had followed them.

They fled again, running to the center of the rounded place where the tree was. They quickly got to the trunk and were ready to climb when they stopped, realizing the Slashers were not following them. They looked where they were the minute before and saw the dinosaurs pacing along an invisible limit.

"Why are they staying away?" Skye inquired.

"I don't know but it's not a good sign," Alexandra muttered.

She took a few steps toward them and stopped.

"It is as if they could not come," Skye said approaching next to Alexandra.

"Or they know that coming here is dangerous," she said, looking around them, worried. She kneeled down to touch the ground and grabbed a piece of dried mud in her hand. "Why is it so cracked?"

"It looks like a crumpled paper, a fragile paper," Skye added, tapping the cracked soil with her foot. "It sounds hollow."

Suddenly, the ground seemed to crumble under their feet in an instant. With no time to prevent it, they both fell down a deep hole, screaming hopelessly. Their bodies hit the ground in a thud, the shock of their fall knocking them out, leaving them unconscious.

While a cold rain started to fall on them, Skye's mother discovered her daughter was missing. As she went to Skye's bedroom to see if she was asleep, she realized her girl had not come back home. All of a sudden, Deborah felt panic settling inside her. It was not in Skye's habit to go out without telling her. Skye had always told her when she worked late or went out with friends, not wanting her mother to be worried. Without wasting time, Deborah grabbed her coat and left her house, heading to the infirmary.

When she arrived there, she didn't find her daughter, neither Dr. Shannon. It was almost midnight and not many people were still working. She met nurse Ogawa who told her that Elisabeth had finished her shift at ten and went straight back home. After thanking the nurse, Deborah jogged to the Shannon's house. She knocked at their door more violently than she expected, more and more anxious than before.

"Oh thank God, Elisabeth, you're here!" Deborah exhaled when Elisabeth opened the door.

"Deb, what's going on?"

"Is Skye with you?"

"No, I haven't seen her since… the early evening when she left the lab. Why?"

"She has not come back home yet. I thought she was with you, I fell asleep waiting for her. I woke up 30 minutes ago and I saw her bed was still made up, I… I… Oh my God, where is she?"

"She must be with some friends. Don't worry, I'm sure she's fine."

"It's not like her to not tell me when she's out."

"You know that sometimes teenagers act weirdly," Elisabeth tried to lighten the mood. "Josh! Josh, come here please."

"What?" Josh asked grumpily. "Oh, Madam Tate, is there something wrong?"

"Deborah is looking for Skye. Do you know where she is?"

"Huh, no. I mean, I don't know. Maybe she's with Hunter or Tasha. How could I know, I'm punished and grounded," he said with a sly smile.

"Josh," his mother scolded him. "Do you know where she could be?"

"Maybe," he shrugged.

"Do you want me to call my husband? Jim can send a patrol to find her."

"Oh no, I don't want to alert everyone. Maybe she's just with some friends. Josh, could you verify that?" Deborah asked eagerly.

"Mum?"

"Of course, but you come back as soon as you find her."

"Sure," he grinned widely. "Wait for me here, I'll bring back your daughter," he promised Deborah.

Josh left the women and walked straight to Lucas' house. He knew fair well that Skye was not with Hunter, nor Tasha. He was almost there when he stopped, thinking about another theory. He made a detour to Alexandra's house. Josh knew Skye had not talked to Alexandra since she was back and maybe she had found the courage to go and talk to her. He knocked at the door but no one answered. He redirected his doubts on Lucas and he went back there. When he reached Lucas' house, he bounced violently to the door.

"Is Skye with you?" Josh blurted out once Lucas opened the door.

"Why do you care Shannon?" Lucas groaned, half asleep, half annoyingly awake.

"Is she or not?" He insisted, anguish audible in his voice.

"What's going on?" Lucas inquired, suddenly very serious.

"Skye is missing. She has not come home tonight. Neither her mother or my mother know where she is. I can't find Alex and I… I don't know, I have the feeling they are together."

"Why would they be together? They can't stay in the same room more than 2 minutes."

"Because I can't find Alex neither and I don't know, I just have the feeling they are, ok?" Josh replied, annoyed. Lucas exhaled loudly in exasperation and shut the door on Josh's face. Josh widened his eyes in disbelief and hit the door with both his fists. "Lucas! Lucas! Open that bloody door!"

The door swung open few minutes later, replaced by an all dressed up Lucas who walked outside without any explanations.

"Hey, where are you going?" Josh wondered, following him.

"To find them."

"I thought you didn't believe they could be together!"

"I've changed my mind."

"Why?"

"You don't need to know," he snapped. Josh grabbed Lucas' arm and stopped him. Lucas freed his arm instinctively and gripped Josh' shirt violently. "After all those years, do you not instinctively fear me? Maybe you should write yourself a note."

"Why?" Josh insisted, holding Lucas' stare. They glared at each other a moment, until Lucas freed Josh and eventually answered.

"Because I might keep an eye on Alex and I know she was not home last night." Josh was startled by his answer.

"I do the same with Skye…" He confessed. Josh didn't know why he said it to Lucas but he did. Maybe because he had never told anyone and it felt good to say it aloud? Or maybe because he knew Lucas would understand better than anyone why he was doing it. "And she didn't go home last night." Lucas looked at him a moment before a smirk appeared on his face.

"Stop spying my sister, pervert," Lucas said before continuing walking. Josh followed him until they arrived to the lab. Lucas went straight to Malcolm who was still working.

"Do you think the tracker we put in Alex's watch is still working?" He asked without wasting time with explanations.

"Hello to you too," Malcolm replied, vexed.

"Is it?"

"We'll find out soon," Malcolm sighed with annoyance, grabbing a plex and entering a code. He didn't even try to ask why Lucas wanted the information. He could see how serious Lucas was and Malcolm didn't want to be involved in whatever he was planning. "Here we are!" He smiled as a red light started shining on the plex. "She's right here! Oh… She's right in nowhere…"

"Thanks," Lucas said, grabbing the plex before leaving, Josh still behind him.

"You're welcome," Malcolm shouted ironically to them. Lucas' wave was the only answer he received. Lucas went where the vehicles were parked and jumped into one of them, Josh still following him.

"I already have a shadow Shannon," Lucas sighed with irritation.

"I'm coming," Josh said firmly.

"All grown up are we?" Lucas mocked.

"Shut up."

"I thought you didn't want to be with Skye anymore," Lucas teased.

"Not because we aren't together doesn't mean that I don't care about her. I thought you would understand that better than anyone." Lucas clenched his jaw, knowing perfectly that Josh was right.

"Let's go then," Lucas just said.


	62. Reconciliation

Hi everyone. First I'd like to thank all the new reviewers. Thank you, it's always a pleasure to read the readers' comment.

Then, I need to apologize for the delay of update. I hate it when authors explain why it took them ages to update, but strangely, I feel the need to tell you why it took me 3 weeks to update this chapter!

First of all, I bought a mare and of course I spent half of my time preparing her arrival and then taking care of her. Second, my best friend at work is leaving and I spent the other half of my time preparing her farewell party. Third, I had a cold and my brain was just numb for 4 days and the only thing I wanted to do was to sleep! Fourth, chapter 62 was so long that I needed to cut it in two parts. I'm so sorry for those of you who hoped you'd find the truth about Alex in this chapter, because you'll have to wait for that! Don't hate me!

You're gonna say "It's only excuses", and you'd be right! I have no excuse for abandoning you so long! Fortunately, from now on, I should be able to update every week like before!

Here is chapter 62. Enjoy it!

* * *

><p><strong>Reconciliation<strong>

The cold drops from the rain slowly awoke Skye and Alexandra. They both groaned as they tried to sit up, glued in the mud. Their fall had been cushioned by a thick bed of mud located at the bottom of the hole. Acting like a mattress, it had allowed them to not break any bones. Alexandra stood up and checked her body, mimicked by Skye.

"You're alright?" She asked Skye once she was sure she had no injuries.

"Yeah… Unbelievably alright," she answered, bewildered.

"We're stuck," Alexandra grumbled.

"Maybe we can climb," Skye started, approaching the wall. "We have to try…"

"No, it's too risky," Alexandra stopped her.

"Why? It's our only way out!"

"Because the walls are too flat and friable. We can climb... Half way may be, and then we'll be stuck in the middle. Either we would manage to get back down, or we'd fall down and break our necks."

Skye seemed to ponder about Alexandra's statement, staring at the walls. She eventually groaned when she realized she was right. There was no way they could climb to the top. A shiver travelled throughout her body and Skye realized that it was not the fear of being stuck in this hole which was making her shiver but the low temperature of the cavity.

"They'll come for us," Skye stated.

"They? Who are they?" Alexandra asked, her lips trembling slightly from the cold.

"Commander Taylor, Sheriff Shannon, Lieutenant Keagan… Lucas… Josh."

"How are they gonna know we're here, huh? They don't even know we are together! More the less OTG. Are you even still talking to Josh?"

"My mum has surely found out I was not home. I'm sure she's gonna tell them," Skye insisted, avoiding Alexandra's question.

The roaring noise of a thunder stopped their conversation.

"What the hell was that?" Alexandra asked aloud, looking up from where they had fallen.

"The storm," Skye winced.

"What storm?" Alexandra inquired, her head still up to the sky.

"Malcolm said a storm was coming. I completely forgot."

"How could you forget such a tiny detail?" Alexandra asked sarcastically.

"I was supposed to go home! What about you? Taylor told everybody this morning."

"Obviously, I was not there," she replied, irritated. "How bad?"

"What?"

"How bad, the storm?"

"Like, a big one. Violent one," Skye sighed, suddenly really worried. "Taylor asked us to stay at home…"

Alexandra let escape a chuckle of stress. Fate seemed to plague her, it was almost laughable.

"Why are you smiling?" Skye asked, confused.

"I was just wondering how many times life can hit you down and how many times you can stood up to defeat it. We've been quite lucky so far."

"At least, we're safe from the slashers here," Skye chuckled awkwardly. Suddenly, the rain started to get thicker, as to prove them that they were not safe. The storm seemed to approach fast on them. "We are gonna die drawn in a hole by the pouring rain. Or even worse, buried alive in the mud," Skye suddenly stated, her voice croaked in fear. "You're right, nobody is gonna find us here. What a stupid death," she cursed herself.

"No, we are not," Alexandra said, her eyes still locked on the entrance of the hole.

"How can you be so sure?" Skye asked, staring at her. For the first time, Alexandra glanced back at Skye, a smile spreading on her face.

"Because I'm not supposed to die that way. Today is not the day we die," she said firmly, deeply serious. Only once she had felt lost and even then, fate had decided to let her live. It was not in her nature to give up, to bow or go down without a fight, even if sometimes it had seemed insurmountable. Alexandra was not afraid. She had been close to death before and survival seemed to be like a second nature for her. Skye had no idea why Alexandra seemed so sure of herself, but it reassured her more than she could tell.

While the girls were thinking about how to get out of this situation alive, Lucas and Josh were driving with difficulty through the jungle.

"Are you gay?" Lucas questioned Josh, irritated.

"No!" He denied vigorously.

"Then stop staring at me like that Shannon," Lucas warned him. "It's disconcerting."

"You should go left, they're not in that direction," Josh pointed out, his eyes analyzing the map that was in front of him.

"I know where they are. It's quicker that way."

"It must be very annoying to know everything all the time," Josh stated sarcastically.

"I'm used to it."

Josh rolled his eyes at his answer and moved his eyes back on the Plex where Alexandra's tracker was lightning.

"I don't know the place where we are heading."

"It's Salt Lake."

"A lake? But they're in the middle of it!"

"Relax boy, it's dry at this period of the year."

"What do you think they're doing there?"

"I'm a genius, not a psychic. Do you see the difference?"

"What's the point in the middle of it?" Josh continued, not paying attention to Lucas' last remark.

"It's an island."

"They are next to it. The light has not moved since we're gone… With this pouring rain why aren't they on it instead of next to it?"

"We'll find out soon," Lucas replied seriously. He knew how to get there, but also knew that with the storm coming, it would take more time to drive there. The path was very muddy and driving the rhino started to become very difficult.

"I really hope Skye is with her… I hope she's fine."

"I'm sure she is."

"Fine?"

"With Alex."

"You're so sure to know her perfectly, it's creepy…" Josh mumbled, obviously annoyed.

"You're more stupid than I thought if you think I want to be with her," Lucas stopped him straight, knowing perfectly what Josh was implying. "Nothing is gonna ever happen with her."

"Not good enough for you?" Josh guessed, irritated that Lucas did not say how smart and pretty Skye was.

"What's wrong with you? You should be happy she's not my kind"

"So what, she's not clever enough for such a brilliant scientist like you?" Josh replied, upset.

"She's not Alex," Lucas answered simply, as if it was evident.

"Oh," was the only word that came out of Josh's mouth. He felt quite stupid now. His obsession with Skye was driving him mad, he really should do something about it. He had become jealous and possessive even if they were not a couple. He had crossed the line few days before at Boylan's, when he had punched a guy for having talked nastily about Skye. But with Lucas, it was different. Lucas was the devil Josh couldn't stop hating. Lucas was the only one that was closer than him with Skye, and it was really frustrating for Josh.

"Look, I respect Skye's feelings and that's the only reason why I haven't fed you to the dinosaurs yet. Don't push your luck too far. I'm not known for being patient." The assassin look Lucas gave Josh stopped him from responding.

"What should I do?" Josh dared to ask after a moment of silence.

"Are you really asking me for advice, Shannon?" Lucas asked him in disbelief, arching his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I know. It sounds a little bit too desperate."

"Harass her."

"Is that working for you with Alex?" Josh asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not at all," Lucas smiled mischievously, obviously thinking about something in particular.

"When I asked for an advice, I was asking for one which works," Josh chuckled.

"Aaaah okay, sorry. I didn't know that," Lucas grinned. "In which field can I help you?"

"I don't know. You spent a lot of time with Skye. And even if I still don't understand what she sees in you that's worth it, you seem to comprehend her more than me."

"Do you love her?"

"That's none of your business!"

"Stop being selfish, Shannon. Love has nothing to do with selfishness. Trust me on that, I've been there. If you love her, go. If you don't, just get out! She won't wait for you forever."

"I'm a failure," Josh stated. "I really messed up with her."

"You're not a failure, you've never tried anything. Consider yourself a failure, it would be bragging about something you're not."

"You really know how to comfort someone," Josh commented sarcastically.

"You can thank my father for that," Lucas grinned broadly.

"She apologized during weeks after we broke up and I punished her. I wanted her to pay. I avoided her. I tried to talk to her recently but she refused it. And now, I'm the only one who's suffering."

"Kid, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try, just do it."

"I'm not sure anymore. What if she doesn't want me?"

"You're not going to quit, are you?"

"The thought has never crossed my mind."

"Good, 'cause I don't want Skye to be hurt," Lucas said very seriously. "If you hurt my sister, I'll have to break you into pieces."

Back in the hole, Skye and Alexandra had started talking. Actually, it was more Skye trying to make Alexandra talk about herself and her feelings for Lucas. It was annoying Alexandra a lot and she was struggling to keep calm. Skye was trying to defend Lucas and explain why Alexandra shouldn't be angry with him after what had happened, the kiss, the lies, every bad thing he had done. She was swearing that Lucas had nothing to do with it.

"Skye, do we have to talk about this, now?" Alexandra inquired, her lips blue from the cold, her face pale and her hair drenched from the rain, glued to her face.

"Look, Alex, I just want to make peace, okay? I want you to make peace with him," a shaking Skye affirmed. Skye was frozen with her clothes soaked. Her curly hair were all straight from the thick rain.

Alexandra sighed loudly and looked straight into Skye's eyes, ready to silence her, by force if necessary. Her gaze softened when she saw Skye's gentle gaze. She realized Skye meant every single word she had said. Why was it so hard to fight with someone who cared so much about Lucas?

"Listen, Skye. You should have not kissed him and he surely should have not kissed you, but I've forgiven both of you and forgotten what happened, okay? It was a year ago, I'm not that revengeful. I don't blame you anymore, none of you."

"Then now you know there was nothing more than a big mistake from my part, not even Lucas' part. Why don't you want to go back with Lucas?" Skye replied, her lips almost violet from the cool air that had installed.

"I have my own reasons."

"Which are?"

"Private."

"You two are made for each other!" Skye argued.

"Skye, you'll see that experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again," Alexandra mocked. "I won't make this mistake again."

"You have to be together."

"Honestly Skye, I haven't seen him for a year, do you really think we are going to get back together just like that? Aren't you mature enough to see it can't work?"

"I know true love doesn't fade because of one year's separation. I know true love survives everything. True love remains the same," Skye tried to convince Alexandra.

"Yeah, well maybe it's not true love and that's why it didn't work and it's not going to."

"I'm sure you still love him!"

"That's none of your business!"

"He loves you!"

Skye was ready to insist until Alexandra broke down. She would not let her go until she had told her why she was acting like someone else. Alexandra was known for her kindness and her frankness. Since she was back, she was different. Of course, Skye knew a lot of things had happened, but she was sure there was something else. Skye needed to know what her reasons were, what she had in mind.

"I'm not listening to you," she answered, shaking her head from side to side.

"But he does! He does love you! You have to understand it!"

"I don't want to know!" Alexandra shouted violently.

"Why?" Skye yelled angrily.

"Because, I don't want to care!" She yelled back without thinking. Skye stayed speechless at Alexandra's answer. What did she mean?

"You don't want to be hurt, is that what you mean?"

"Stop interpreting my words. Since the beginning you always misunderstood me. You always misunderstood my intentions. First with Josh, then Taylor, and finally with Lucas. You think you know me, but you don't. Stop digging!"

"You're wrong Alex. It's not because I made mistakes, because I'm younger or because you think I'm immature, that I can't understand what you're going through or who you are."

"If I'm so easy to read, what am I thinking right now?"

"You're wishing I was somewhere else. You're wishing I would stop asking for the truth. But I'm here, stuck with you and I'm not gonna let you go until you tell me the truth."

"Being stuck with me doesn't mean you have to talk to me," Alexandra replied like a sulking child. "This discussion is over."

"Fine," Skye added in the same tone. "I take that part," she gestured, delimitating her area.

"Whatever," Alexandra groaned, going to the other part of the hole. She had to find a solution to get out of here. First, the rain had transformed the muddy hole in a pond and soon they would have to swim if they wanted to stay alive. Second, she didn't want to speak with Skye anymore. Like Lucas, she was digging and digging again in her life, trying to find what her secrets were, and she didn't like it. Why people couldn't take care of their own lives?

While the girls were pouting, stuck in their muddy hole, it was the boys turn to be stuck in a muddy place. The rhino was bugged down and Lucas couldn't manage to move it anymore.

"We have to walk from now on," Lucas explained to Josh, getting out of the rover.

"It's half an hour away! And with this rain, it's gonna take ages! Are you sure we can't push the rhino?"

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. We can't push the car, we're stuck," Lucas stated with annoyance. "If we walk quickly enough, without wasting time talking, we should be there in less than an hour," Lucas said firmly.

"Okay," Josh replied, grabbing the plex and his coat.

"Let's go."

Their silhouettes disappeared in an instant, swallowed by the dark and wild jungle.

* * *

><p>Not far from their girls, aren't they?! Let's just hope they'll find them in time. Fate seems to plague them lately.<p> 


	63. Second chance

**Second chance**

After a moment, Skye and Alexandra eventually came back to each other, pointing out that they could be a little bit warmer if they were closer. They sat back to back, but both stayed silent during half an hour or so, until Alexandra spoke again.

"If your mother has not noticed your absence, I sure know someone who noticed mine this time."

"You're talking to me, now?" Skye mumbled, half asleep.

"I was supposed to meet Maddy 30 minutes ago," Alexandra continued, not paying attention to Skye's sarcastic remark.

"At night?"

"Yes, she wanted to show me an insect that sings and lights at night. Looks like a firefly to me but Maddy insisted it was different... Well, you know Maddy, it's hard to say no to her."

"Yeah…" Skye murmured.

"I'm sure she didn't know about the storm either."

"Yeah," Skye whispered, her eyes shutting slowly. Alarmed by Skye's small voice and her lack of interest, Alexandra turned to face her.

"Hey Skye, stay with me," Alexandra commanded her, shaking her vigorously. "Stay awake. Don't let the cold get to you."

"I'm so tired."

"It's only the cold that makes you sleep. Hey, Skye, talk to me! Say something."

"Am I allowed to talk now?" She chuckled awkwardly.

"Yes, whatever you want. Just, don't sleep!" Alexandra ordered her, worried.

"Your disappearance destroyed him," Skye started to say.

"What?"

"He was so distressed."

"Who?"

"Lucas."

"Don't you have another subject to talk about than Lucas?" Alexandra wanted so much to talk about someone else. She was struggling to keep Lucas as a friend, to stay away enough so he would not think she wanted more from him. It was already a hard challenge. Why couldn't people stop talking about him in every conversation?

"He became violent again," Skye continued as if Alexandra had said nothing. "Madness drove him crazy. He was a danger for the others as much as for himself."

"I can't change that, can I?"

"Of course you can, only you can."

"God damn it! Why can't people stop thinking I'm a kind of antidote to Lucas' behavior?" She blurted out.

"When you were not here, nobody could control him. He had extreme reactions. We all thought he had lost his mind."

"Lucas doesn't need to be controlled," she complained. "He just needs people to listen to him, to understand him, to care for him, to be there for him. He needs what everybody does."

"It's what you used to do, what you used to give him. And no one can replace you. No one. Everybody was upset after what happened, of course, but Lucas... Lucas was completely unhinged. People started to wonder if he was sane enough to live with us."

"I've heard that…"

"You know, Taylor forbade people to harm Thomas. Otherwise, he would have been dead by now. Actually, he almost died in Lucas' hands… It took three men to stop him. Taylor had to put him in the brig for two days to calm him down. Once again, Lucas was renowned for having a short fuse and often got into fights."

"What's the deal between Lucas and Thomas? Why are they acting like they're friends?" Alexandra asked, taking the opportunity of the discussion to find answers she had not found out about Thomas.

"After Lucas almost killed Thomas, he came back to him and made a pact. Lucas promised he would not kill him if Thomas helped him with the portal. He was certain Thomas knew a lot of things about your parents and their projects. I think, in a kind of twisted way, Thomas reminded him of you."

"I would have killed Thomas if I had been there," Alexandra swore forcefully.

"The problem is, when Taylor realized how much Lucas was obsessed with his work, he decided he had to stop him. Taylor announced that they would stop looking for you… Lucas went hopping mad when he understood that. He had had a fit. He was really pissed off."

"When was it?"

"6 months ago."

Alexandra stayed silent at the discovering of this information.

"Don't misunderstand what I'm saying," Skye quickly added. "Taylor wanted him to stop looking for you only because it was driving his son insane. He had hoped it would help him, he just wanted to help him," she shook her head in despair. "But, of course, Lucas bit his head off! His blood boiled in a second and he shot Taylor... And Taylor shot him too in defense..."

"They shot each other?" For the first time, Alexandra dropped her cold and distant attitude with Skye, really surprised to hear that.

"Jim had to separate them. He sent Lucas away at Outpost 9. It took a good week for Taylor to be himself again. Every time you bring back the subject, it makes his hackles rise. But now, they are normal again. I mean, they can stay in the same room. Honestly, I don't know how they did this. Going so deep, so badly hurt, and then stand up again, like nothing has never happened."

"They are Taylors. You can expect them to survive everything," she chuckled, her lips trembling from the cold.

"It's not only them. It's you."

"Me?"

"You made them get back together. It's what you do. It's what you did. You always helped them to communicate."

"I can tell you that I did nothing recently to help them."

"You just don't see it, that's all."

"What about you and Josh, huh?" Alexandra changed the subject of the conversation. "I don't understand why you're not back together. Because you're talking about me and Lucas all the time, but look at you! Josh loves you. He really does."

"No, Josh is… He's not even talking to me anymore."

"Have you tried?"

"What?"

"Tried to talk to him?"

"What for? He doesn't want me in his life. He made that clear."

"Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever."

"We accept the love we deserve… I don't deserve him. He deserves better."

"You think he deserves someone better than you?" Alexandra was surprised and slightly annoyed at the same time. She had hated it when Lucas had told her once she deserved someone better than him. People should stop deciding for others what was good for them. "It's not your decision to make."

"His love for me… Or whatever it was, it doesn't exist anymore. He doesn't want me anymore. It's evident."

"We all want to know that a man will never let us go, that he'll fight for us. It's how most women in the world were raised. An undying love for us, a man that don't want to see us go. But life is not as simple as that. The fact that Josh is not chasing you doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Like Lucas and you?"

"Can't you stop comparing what's not comparable?"

"Isn't it the same for you and Lucas? He still loves you and I'm sure you still love him too, but you're avoiding him."

"I was talking about you and Josh here."

"It's your theory I'm applying, not mine."

"It's different," she shook her head.

"Why?"

"I have my own reasons."

"Alex, can't you see how much you mean to Lucas? He stayed in Terra Nova, he fought next to his father to save Terra Nova, everything he did, he did it for you." Alexandra didn't want to hear it. It didn't fit with her plan at all.

"Skye, you are changing the subject again. Let's talk about Josh, would you?"

"Josh was flirting with Mia the other night. I think it's obvious he moved on."

"Who's Mia?"

"A girl from the ninth pilgrimage. She's his age. You probably saw her at your party. Dark hair, green eyes, as thin as possible... Perfect," she snorted.

"The only thing I noticed about Josh that night was how he was devouring you from head to toe! He was clearly annoyed when you danced with Max. It was pure jealousy!"

"Really?" For the first time, Skye's voice seemed normal again, her interest for Josh warming her up.

"I've heard Josh has been fighting a lot lately. Since when did his rebellious side take over again?"

Skye seemed to ponder Alexandra's question before answering.

"Since you came back."

"You probably mean since _you_ are back! I remember clearly that you stopped working at the second lab when I came back. Isn't it obvious? He fights for you!"

"That's ridiculous."

"No, that's a boy thing! Millennia of evolution of the human race, and they remain practicing like in the Stone Age."

"Cavemen."

"Absolutely," Alexandra smiled lightly. "Skye, if you love Josh, then you should do everything you can to be with him. People say; 'What's the point in liking someone who doesn't like you back?' They are right, there isn't a point. But you can't help who you like, it's not up to you. Your heart kinda just decides for you and there is no turning back once your heart makes up its mind."

"My heart made up its mind a long time ago."

"Then you should give him a second chance. Give yourself a second chance, Skye."

"Maybe, if we get out of here alive…"

"Skye, look at me. I won't let you down. I swear to you."

"You're trembling," Skye stated, her voice suddenly filled with concern.

"It's the cold,"

"No, it's not!"

"It is," Alexandra lied. She had started to feel pain again and had hoped it would not show. Not now, not yet.

"Are you crying?" Skye asked with worry, this time totally awake.

"It's raining, Skye," Alexandra mocked. But it didn't seem to convince Skye who stared at her suspiciously, reminding her why she had followed her in the first place.

"You can talk to me," Skye said seriously.

"Thank you," Alexandra responded honestly. "But I'm okay."

"I know it must seem frightening to have your life turned upside down. I've been there too. Trust me, you'll make it through. You just need to accept people's help."

"Skye, honestly, I appreciate your interest for me, for my health. But I'm fine and I will not get back with Lucas. We are friends and it's better that way. I won't be good for him, trust me on that. I'd like to keep some things to myself and I know you want to help, but really, I don't want to share them with you, with anyone for that matter." Alexandra felt guilty for her previous attitude with Skye. She knew Skye wanted only to help, but all she wanted was to stay alone.

Alexandra was trying hard to look fine but stress was taking its toll on her, making her muscles tighten so much that huge trembling was threatening her. She couldn't miss her appointment with Dr Shannon at dawn. She was totally in control the whole way, but now, anxiousness was building inside her. "We need to get out," she stated firmly.

The second she told Skye they needed to get out, a huge lightning split the sky, illuminating the entrance of the hole. They heard a huge crack and looked up in time to see a big mass approaching the hole. Both Skye and Alexandra gasped as the huge tree fell at the top of the hole, covering the entrance, hiding them from the rest of the world as if it had never existed.

Skye jumped on Alexandra to protect her. They kneeled down, covering their heads with their arms, as branches fell on them. They stayed immobile until they were sure nothing would fall on them again. They looked up and sighed, relieved. Fortunately, the tree didn't completely fall into the hole. Yet, the entrance was totally covered. This time, fear invaded Alexandra and her mind seemed to be unable to think straight anymore, her thoughts totally incoherent. She stayed motionless, staring absently to the entrance.

"It's the end..." She whispered, her throat tight.

"No, this is not the end," Skye smiled. "It's the escape plan we were waiting for!" Alexandra looked at her and saw determination and joy in her eyes. "Let's go!" Skye informed her before starting to grab a branch to climb to. Alexandra mimicked her and they were soon out of their prison.

Once they were free, they let their bodies fall on the ground, panting. The storm seemed to stop as quickly as it started and the girls could see the sun rising slowly away. They stayed speechless, motionlessly lying on their backs, trying to catch their breath. When Skye saw what they looked like, covered in mud, their clothes soaked, she started laughing without reason, soon joined by Alexandra.

"Don't think I have forgotten you didn't tell me," Skye smiled mischievously to Alexandra.

"I know," Alexandra grinned too. "Life is too short for you to worry about me. Honestly, just enjoy your life, find Josh and tell him you still love him, be happy. But above all, don't worry about me, live your life."

"Skye?" They heard a known voice yell.

They both sat up and saw Josh and Lucas running to them.

"He came to rescue you, with Lucas. Lucas!" Alexandra chuckled in Skye's ear. "Do you see how desperate he was to find you?"

Skye didn't reply but she couldn't stop from beaming. Yes, Josh was there to rescue her. Her heart hammered in her chest, happiness filling her whole body.

"Skye!" Josh said, relieved, when he approached close enough to see she was okay. Lucas stopped few meters away and crossed his arms on his chest, his eyes narrowed on the girls. Alexandra stood up while Josh held out his hand to Skye and helped her to stand up. Skye looked at him and a smile spread on her face again.

"What?"

"Nothing," she replied, shaking her head.

Lucas was staring at the girls, a mischievous smirk playing on his face.

"What?" Skye asked when she spotted him.

"Did you do mud wrestling?" Lucas beamed with excitement, lust reflecting in his eyes. Joking had always been a good way to hide his anguish. When he had seen their immobile bodies on the ground, he had thought they were dead.

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Alexandra taunted him.

"I would not dislike it…" He smiled.

"Pervert!"

"I have no problem with that," he grinned. Alexandra shook her head, amused. Then she saw at the corner of her eyes that Skye and Josh were staring at each other. It was obvious they needed to talk alone. She grabbed Lucas' elbow and pulled him with her.

"Come on, leave them alone."

"Maybe I should keep an eye on them, just in case. I wouldn't be a good brother if I didn't, right?"

"I think they need privacy."

"I don't mind sharing," he chuckled.

"Well, I think they do," she snapped, putting both her hands on his back and pushing him forward.

"No, Alex, I will _not_ follow you in that wild jungle, it's not a good idea just the two of us, all alone," he shouted, beaming.

"Come on," she said grabbing his arm while Skye and Josh were looking at them, bemused.

"How did you end up here with Skye?" Lucas asked her when they entered the jungle.

"I needed to get out. She just happened to follow me."

"Why?"

"I don't know why. Who knows what's happening in her head."

"No, I mean why did you need to get out?"

"I felt a little bit claustrophobic in the colony. I needed some air."

"You look exhausted. Did you get any sleep recently?" He asked, concerned.

"I have some… trouble sleeping."

"Trouble?"

"Mostly nightmares that keep me awake."

"You can talk to me about it. It helps sometimes."

"Thanks but, I don't know. I just can't sleep. That's all. I guess I have too many things on mind."

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" He asked her, half serious, half joking. "'Cause you would be tired for a good reason. I'm sure you would sleep well after that. And for sure it'd make you forget all your problems," he smiled.

"Thanks, but no thanks," she chuckled, quickening her pace, leaving him behind.

"We don't need to have sex if you don't want to," he chased after her. "I mean there are plenty of other things we can do," he said in a suggestive tone. "You know, I…"

"Shut up!" She cut him off, smiling.

"I'm just saying, as a friend, you know, I can help you," he smirked widely.

"Enough!" She shoved him away, leaving a large trace of mud on his shirt. "I really need a shower," she complained with disgust at the sight of her body still covered in mud.

"Do you want me to rub your back? I can do that! You know how much I'm good at it," he said in a seductive tone.

"God, you never stop!" She laughed.

"Is that a yes?" He said, coming to her and stopping inches away from her.

"No! Of course it's not!" She pushed him before continuing walking. Lucas followed her, insisting all the way back to the rover that he was there for her and how he could help her to feel better. Alexandra could see how much fun he was having teasing her. He was clearly enjoying this game. In the end, she turned to him and sighed.

"Ok, you won. I'm gonna have sex with you."

"Really?" He asked, his eyes widening in surprise as she approached him. "Here?" He continued, perplexed.

"Here," she stated. She put her arms around his neck, her sparkling eyes locked into his, and licked her lips seductively. Then she tilted her face and leaned close to his, letting her lips brush his jaw, heading to his ear. She felt him shiver under her touch and it made her smile.

"In your dreams," she replied simply before tightening her embrace and rubbing her arms, legs, hair, face… In fact her whole body against him, covering him in mud. He didn't move, though, knowing perfectly he had just lost at his own game and endured his punishment. She stepped away and gave him a satisfied look. "There you are. Perfect. Now, we match!"

And she left him without turning back to see his reaction. Lucas looked at her, smiling. She had won this part of the game and yet he couldn't be happier. He didn't know it was possible, but he was even more attracted to her than he had ever been before. Lucas had the feeling that the walls she had built around her were cracking and each time she was allowing him to be closer. Soon, he would have her back, he was sure of it.

"You're very funny for someone who has just spent her last night in a muddy hole accompanied by her worst enemy!"

"She might not be my worst enemy after all," he heard her say.

He was really surprised to see how quickly she had come back to herself, the one he knew before, the smiling one, the funny one.

"You're shivering, you should take your clothes off."

"Sure, I'd like to be naked right now," she mocked.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said seriously, taking his long sleeves shirt off and holding it out to her. "Wear this."

"Aren't you gonna be cold with just a tee-shirt on?"

"You know how warm I am," he winked. "I won't suffer the cold."

Alexandra hesitated a second, but when a quiver ran down her spine, she just grabbed the shirt and turned her back to Lucas to take her soaked shirt off.

"Happy?" Alexandra asked him, as she turned back to him, his shirt on her.

"Elated," he drawled.

"You drive me crazy," Alexandra chuckled.

"I know I do," Lucas beamed.

His smile faded when hers disappeared from her face. All of a sudden, Alexandra didn't feel well and nausea started threatening her again.

"Excuse me a minute," she said to Lucas, heading in the opposite direction.

"The rover is over there," he claimed.

"I need some private time," she shouted, continuing to walk away.

"Okay, but don't go too far. I don't want to rescue you twice!"

"You're so generous," he heard her laugh.

After two minutes of waiting, Lucas went where he had seen her go and slowly approached. He couldn't see her completely, but what he was sure of was what he heard : she was vomiting. Lucas restrained himself from coming closer and walked back silently to the rover, his concern higher than before.

Josh and Skye rejoined him a few minutes later, hand in hand. By the happy look they had, Lucas didn't have to ask them if they were reconciled. In a normal time, he would have made fun of them, but he was not in the mood.

"Everything okay?" He asked innocently when Alexandra came back a few minutes later.

"Yep, perfect," she smiled.

He wanted to tell her she was a liar, but instead, he kept a cool attitude.

"Good," he replied with a fixed grin, hiding his anxiousness. "We should go then."

Alexandra and Skye told the boys how they ended up stuck in the hole, then Josh explained to them how they had found them. Lucas stayed silent and drove them back to the colony where, as they had expected it, everyone was waiting for them.

Taylor, Jim and Damon were holding their arms to their chest, a disapproval look on their faces. Deborah and Elisabeth were arm in arm, apparently supporting each other.

"Oh Skye!" Deborah scolded her daughter when she got out of the car. "Don't you ever do this to me again!"

"Promise," Skye swore, embracing her mother.

"Josh, you were grounded…" Jim started to say seriously.

"Mum said I was allowed…" Josh defended himself.

"I know."

"And I swore to Mrs. Tate I would bring her daughter back," he continued.

"I know," Jim cut. "Good job," he smiled proudly, squeezing his son's shoulder.

"Lucas," Taylor greeted.

"Father," he nodded in return.

"I don't remember I allowed anyone to go outside the gates last night."

"Aging is not as easy as it seems, is it?" Lucas smirked, his comment resulting in a thin smile from his father.

"You made a lot of people worry about you two girls," Taylor pointed out, making Skye squirm.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault," Alexandra explained. "I knew Skye was working on plants at the second lab and I told her about one I know is in the jungle, and I proposed her to come with me to see it, and then Slashers attacked us, and I didn't know about the storm, and we've been stuck and…"

"Calm down! Easy Alex," Taylor stopped her. "We'll talk about it later. We're happy you're all fine."

"I made a mistake. I'm sorry. Skye has nothing to do with it. Lucas and Josh neither."

"There are no mistakes in life, only lessons," Taylor said warmly. "And I'm sure you both learnt one."

"You should go and have a shower," Damon stated. "You stink."

"Yeah, I won't refuse a good shower."

"Alex, you should come with me first. I'm gonna check you," Elisabeth commanded her.

"She's fine," Lucas responded defensively.

"You can't know that," Elisabeth frowned.

"Don't worry, Lucas. I promise I'll give your shirt back," Alexandra reassured him with a sly smile.

Lucas frowned suspiciously as Alexandra left him, following Dr. Shannon. Since the beginning, Alexandra had avoided the infirmary as we avoid the plague and now she wanted to go? What was going on? Her pale face and her sickly state started to worry him. Lucas tried to recollect the last events to find out what he could have missed to explain it. She was acting strange lately, sometimes upset, sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Also, she was tired all the time. And now, he had seen her vomit. All of a sudden, a horrible idea crossed his mind. Sick? Wait, sick as in, morning sickness? Was it possible? No, she couldn't, could she? She would have never done that to him, not her.

Lucas felt suddenly nauseous too. His Alexandra, pregnant? No, it was not an option, not even a possibility. She had always been faithful to him, even in their darkest moments. Could she have had someone else in her life during her time in 2150? Lucas' body and mind slowly filled with anger and anxiousness, as his thoughts started to wander about every reason why Alexandra could have lie to him so badly. There was only one reason why she would have lied to him and it was only if she had to hide very bad news from him.

What could he do? What should he do? He was suddenly unable to think. The only thing he was sure of was that he could not tolerate this treason. No, he could not live knowing that she was having someone else's baby. He could not let that happen or it would be the end of their relationship. But first of all, he would have to confront her and force her to tell him the truth, all of it. And now, he was ready to use whatever he needed to have that verity.

* * *

><p>So... Is Lucas right or wrong? You'll find out in the next chapter! Any theory?<p> 


	64. Why can't you leave me ?

So, here it is! This 'famous' chapter when you finally get to know the truth about Alex. Please, don't hate me!

* * *

><p><strong>Why can't you leave me?<strong>

Alexandra left Doctor Shannon's office, her face totally blank. She had spent her morning in Dr. Shannon's office, running tests, and the results were not good. Her appointment in the early evening had confirmed the previous diagnostic. Alexandra was a broken mess and nothing could change that, not even a brilliant Doctor like Elisabeth Shannon.

Alexandra stayed motionless in the middle of the hall for a moment before running to the closest toilets. She hid there, locked out from the rest of the world, away from her problems, safe from reality. She was so fed up about this situation, she knew she could just break into pieces in an instant, but she wanted to be strong and forbid herself from crying. She put some cold water on her white face to refresh herself a bit, then she inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down her heartbeat. She held her hand to the locker and opened the door, ready to face reality again.

Her resolves faded in a second when she bumped into Lucas, pacing in front of the toilets' door, obviously waiting for her. His gaze was very serious, his expression full of annoyance and something else Alexandra wasn't sure about. Was it concern?

"I haven't wash your shirt yet," she said first, forcing a smile.

"So, how was it with Dr Shannon? Is everything alright ?" He asked bluntly.

"Yes, you know, just checkup routine," she shrugged lightly, hoping her attitude looked detached enough.

"Why are you lying to me?" He asked her honestly. Lucas had tried many times to ask her indirectly what was going on and she had always avoided the subject. Now, he wasn't going to waste time. She was going to tell him, no matter what.

"I'm not," she frowned.

"Tell me what's worrying you. Don't say it's nothing because surely something is bothering you."

"No, honestly, I'm fine," she forced a smile, his insistence already annoying her. She felt like a prey in front of a predator. He was determined and it scared her.

"So you're not pregnant?" He asked bluntly, his tone very serious.

"Pregnant?" She scoffed. "What made you think such a stupid thing?"

"You didn't answer."

"No, I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed, shocked he could believe she was. "What's wrong with you?"

"You're sick."

"I'm not sick," she denied, but she could tell that he didn't buy it at all.

"You don't drink alcohol."

"Since when is that a bad thing?"

"You can't keep food down."

"Do I have to remind you I just arrived from 2150? My metabolism needs time to adjust here."

"You're tired."

"I told you I don't sleep well."

"You have mood swing…"

"I'm a girl."

"So, you're not pregnant."

"When do you think I would have had the time to sleep with someone and get pregnant?"

"You didn't reply," he said in a raw voice.

"I'm not pregnant."

"Look me in the eyes and swear to me you're not pregnant," he commanded her firmly, anger evident in his voice. His eyes were locked on hers and she could see how furious he was inside.

"I swear to you, I am not pregnant," she hissed, insisting on every single word. She was very upset now. Why did she have to prove him such a thing? Who was he to ask her such a question? It was obvious he was fuming inside but so was she. He seemed to ponder if he should trust her or not, before speaking again.

"Okay, you're not pregnant," Lucas admitted, quite relieved. "So, what's going on?"

"Why do you think there's something wrong?"

"I can recognize when a woman pretends not to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

"Liar."

"What do you know about fear anyway?"

"A lot."

"I am not afraid!" She denied. "I was a spy for my father, then a drug addict, and now I'm pregnant? Where do you find all of those delirious theories?"

"Just facts."

"Is there another one you'd like to share?" She sneered.

"I've got one last one. But I don't like it. Not at all. And I really was hoping I would have found the truth before I had to reach this desperate one."

His tone was too serious and Alexandra's smile vanished almost immediately. He would not let go this time. She could see how much he was ready for it. He would hunt her down until she would break and tell him the truth.

"Then don't," she snapped coldly.

"Skye told me you've been here many times this week…"

"Skye… she should learn to shut her fucking mouth. Isn't she supposed to keep secrecy with the patient or something like that?"

"So you're a patient," he groaned, his face somber. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You vomit a lot…"

"How do you… Skye ! Have you both forgotten that I arrived a week ago, my body needs time to adjust here."

"It's not Skye. I saw you this morning." His confession stopped her from responding. She looked away, even more upset with herself. "Skye told me you've been crying." There was concern and worry in his tone, but it triggered anger only in her mind.

"She told you I… Fuck! If she wants me to be mad at her, she's good at it."

"Skye told me about it 2 days ago. I waited, hoping you would tell me."

"Tell you what? There's nothing to say."

"You saw Dr. Shannon twice a day for 3 days now and you believe there's nothing to say? It's starting to be ridiculous," Lucas groaned.

"Ridiculous? You're ridiculous! You're the one with the absurd ideas and ludicrous theories about me!"

"I'm giving you an exit door here. I'm giving you an option. I'm asking you, one last time, what's wrong?" He said, fighting his anger to stay calm.

"You don't want to know the answer."

"Try me."

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, staring away. Her eyes were starting to prickle. She pressed her lips in frustration, she really hated this situation.

"Sorry, but no," she answered, glancing back at him. She was tired of fighting with him. Her meeting with Dr. Shannon had not ended well and his attitude was too much to handle. She wanted him to stop digging. Why couldn't he understand she wanted him to stay away? What was the point of telling him anyway? He had never asked for it. She had never wanted to tear apart his life and then go and leave him with mess to cope.

"Don't shut me out," he said, shaking his head angrily.

"Why do you have to know? It doesn't concern you!"

"I warned you," he said in a blank tone, approaching. "Remember, I gave you an option."

"Are you threatening me?" She asked in disbelief, her heart suddenly quickening its pace.

"Tell me," he insisted, stepping even closer towards her.

"No," she said harshly through gritted teeth.

"Tell me," he insisted again, more firmly.

"This is none of your business," she hissed. "Now get out of my way."

"I said, tell me," Lucas said, walking so close towards her that she stepped back and felt the wall against her back.

"No."

"For God sake, Alex! Stop being so stubborn!" His voice was full of rage now.

"This is between Dr. Shannon and me, just _me_! End of the story. Now just move," she ordered him.

"Not until you tell me," he replied in a determined tone that scared her.

"I won't, you're just wasting your time. So move," she said, trying to walk away without success.

"Alex, now you are going to tell me what's fucking going on!" He yelled, grabbing her shoulders roughly, shaking her.

"No!" She cried loudly. She tried to push him away but he was stronger than her.

"God damn it, Alex!" He bellowed. "Tell me, now!" He pushed her hard against the wall, making tears flow out her eyes, her lips trembling in pain. She looked at him with her watery eyes, fuming with anger.

"I'm dying!" She hollered. "Okay? I'm dying and nothing can change it! Happy now?"

Lucas stared at her in disbelief, his mouth agape. Shock made him lose his grip on her.

Alexandra took the opportunity to get out of his grasp and walked away, her vision blurred with tears. That was it. That was the end of it. Now, Lucas knew it. Soon, everybody would know it. Everything would be different and Alexandra was not ready for it. She ran to her house and locked the door. She paced a circle in the living room, panting and crying, before collapsing on the floor. She curled herself into a ball and shut her eyes, praying to God to make her disappear from the rest of the world.

Lucas stayed shocked a moment before his mind functioned again. He headed straight to Dr. Shannon's lab. He had to talk to her, he had to know.

"Lucas?" Elisabeth asked when she saw him enter her lab, his face very serious.

"Dr. Shannon, I need to know everything about Alex's disease."

Elisabeth's face paled at his order.

"What disease?"

"Don't start this silly game with me," he replied witheringly.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone."

"I have killed for less than that," he warned her.

"Are you threatening me?" Elisabeth asked, afraid.

"I know she's dying. She confessed it a minute ago. So, now, tell me."

"She confessed it?" Elisabeth couldn't believe him.

"How did that happen?" Lucas continued.

Elisabeth thought quickly about the situation and eventually decided to tell him what she knew. She had wanted to do that the instant Alexandra had told her about it a few days ago. Yes, she had promised to keep her secret but now Lucas knew, it was totally different.

"During a mission in Russia, to destroy the 4th portal, she said she had been exposed to radiation."

"Radiation?" he asked, stunned.

"Nuclear radiation."

"How bad?" Lucas' voice was steady. It was the scientist talking. He needed to know every part of the story to understand it and find a solution to this problem.

"Very bad."

"She's…"

"Dying."

"Are you sure?" He asked with hope. "Have you run tests? Have you tried…"

"Yes," Dr Shannon cut him off, "I'm still trying. But… I can't. There's no cure for her."

"Not here," Lucas said coldly. "But there is in the future."

"Actually, it's what she said."

"Did she?"

"She said that back in 2150, she had a plan B."

"What plan B?"

"She had an inside man. His name is Sean Harris, he works with her father and he is the one who made her blood tests. He was working on a cure when she arrived here. But he needed time."

"He did the tests? Well maybe he's wrong, maybe he lied to her. Have you thought about it? If he's working for her father, we can't trust him."

"No, she trusts him. He made her trust him. She said he deserved her trust."

Lucas was pacing the room, his mind rushing with hopeless ideas.

"Lucas, she said that Russian had been working on this poison during the last years. They inject you with the radiation as a liquid. At first you're normal, then you start to have symptoms. When you contract them, it's too late. You die in a month or so."

"It's impossible…" Lucas mumbled to himself.

"At first she thought it was inoffensive, she had no symptom. She really thought she had been through it. But then she started to feel pain weeks after, She asked a friend of hers for blood tests and… The results said she had been exposed to a high level of radiation.

"What are her symptoms?"

"Well, the radiations have changed some of her molecules. She's not exhausted when she exercises. She can stay awake for a very long time. It's like her brain is always working. But her mind starts to get worn out. Her muscles have started aching and her stomach is the worst part. She can't keep food, digestion is too painful. I gave her some antiemetic for the last three days. But it doesn't seem enough anymore."

"Damn it Elisabeth, you should have told me!"

"I couldn't."

"How old are you? Of course you could. How could you be so stupid? You made us lose a lot of time to find a cure!"

"She made me promise her I wouldn't tell anyone!" she defended herself. "Not even my husband, Taylor, you… Anyone. As a doctor, I can't discuss about my patients with anyone. I swear I tried to convince her to tell someone, but she didn't want to."

"She's so stubborn," he groaned. Lucas had expected a lot of things, but surely, not this. "Is it contagious?" Lucas asked her.

"No, it's not," she responded. "Lucas, I can't help her more. The drugs I give her are not enough anymore. They reduce the pain only. Her disease is growing up too fast."

"How much time does she have left?"

"A week or so…"

"That's all I needed to know," he said resolutely, before leaving the lab and heading outside the building.

* * *

><p>So... She's gonna die. The revelation is not what Lucas had expected. She's back in his life only to get out. Quite a hard news to handle, even for our brave Lucas. Things start to be complicated for them, don't they?<p> 


	65. Everything

Reunion... ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Everything<strong>

A knock at the door awoke Alexandra from her sorrow. She slowly walked to the door, her eyes burnt from the hours of her crying. She opened the door and found Lucas, his face reflecting sadness, concern and something else Alexandra couldn't define. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he seemed like he was struggling with something, but his attitude was calm.

"You know everything, don't you?" She stated, her gazed fixed on his.

"Is that why you told me you didn't want to be with me?" he asked, his eyes questioning her.

Alexandra had not expected this question and it startled her. He was looking deeply into her eyes, waiting for her to answer. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She looked down to her fidgeting fingers, pursing her lips. He gently placed his finger under her chin, lifting her face up to meet his questioning gaze.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

His beautiful deep green eyes were looking at her intensively and she got lost in it. As she didn't move, he leaned slowly to her and pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes shut, slowly inhaling her scent. Her silence was enough of a proof for him. Suddenly, everything made sense. Why she had kept a distance from him, why she had avoided him, why she had acted like she was indifferent, ignoring him, why she had lied to him, why he had felt so unwanted. He was so close to her, closer than he had ever been since she was back. How could he not be moved by her?

Lucas gently put his hands on her throat, his thumbs caressing the line of her jaw. He could feel her pulse quickening its pace under his palms. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She had closed her eyes too, but didn't open them when he stepped back to look at her. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, then he leaned forward and gave her one soft kiss on her lips, a second gentle one and a third tender one. Three kisses that meant so much. She didn't try to escape, she stayed, and it meant even more to Lucas. Her lips, Lucas had dreamt about them so much. They were still as he remembered, soft and tender.

The difference of temperature of their bodies made Alexandra shiver. Lucas had always been so warm. His heat against her cold skin was setting her ablaze. She could feel her cheeks boiling under his hands. His kisses were soft, yet her lips were burning. Suddenly she had hot flushes and, strangely, it reminded her that she had always wondered if his warmth was linked to his warm blooded character. Maybe, or maybe not, but here she was tasting it again and loving it again.

She didn't try to push him away. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted him and he wanted her. There was nothing to do about it and she knew she had to stop lying to herself. He moved his forehead back against hers and she moved her hands over his chest, over his heart, feeling it beat strong in his ribcage. She knew his heart belonged to her, as much as hers belonged to him, whether she wished it or not.

"Why can't you leave me?" she sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why are you always coming back to me?"

"Because I love you," he replied simply, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. At the sound of those three words, all of her will vanished. Her heart was winning over her mind. She felt the last bit of resolution melting away. "You're the only thing that feels right in my life." Lucas never knew love could make him feel that way. It was what love was all about. Love could hurt. Love could give you the best and the worst. But Lucas was ready for it. He would do anything for it.

Alexandra saw that his beautiful green eyes were full of love and desire, hypnotizing her. She couldn't resist staying away from him, she had never could. He was her drug, she had been addicted to him since they first met. She had always been. And she wanted him so much, she couldn't fight against it. Nobody else could take her higher than Lucas.

She shut her eyes and tilted her head against his palm as if it was giving her more strength. She felt him press his hand against her skin, supporting her. She raised her head up and, with half opened eyes, she kissed him. She didn't have to wait for long for his response. He kissed her back, his hands surrounding her face, keeping her with him. Their tender and soft kisses slowly changed into hungry and passionate ones.

In no time, Alexandra was pulled up in Lucas' arms and carried to her bedroom. Once there, Lucas slowed down and tried to control his urge. He wanted her so much, it was almost animal. But he couldn't just jump on her like that, even if he could feel she would not disagree with that option. He put her down on her feet and she looked at him with her big dark blue eyes, her gaze unsure. He stared at her, his left hand caressing her cheek, while his right hand was on the small of her back, keeping her firmly close to him.

Alexandra lifted her left hand up and put it gently on his bearded cheek. He rested his face in it, appreciating the sensation of the contact, his eyes locked into hers. Her hand moved to the back of his head, touching his scars, and she pulled his face back to hers, begging for his lips to meet hers again. Lucas didn't need more of an invitation and replied positively to her request.

Both his hands went down her back and under her shirt, pulling her even closer. Alexandra wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. Lucas grabbed the hem of her shirt and she understood immediately his demand. She raised her arms up and he took her shirt off. She did the same with his shirt and their bodies entered in contact rapidly, the contact of their skins sending them exciting shivers.

Lucas laid her down the bed, his lips not leaving hers. His hands went down and when he reached her waist, he slowly detached the button and the zip of her trousers and pulled them down. He started to kiss her whole body, rediscovering every bit of it. Hurt in her life, hurt forever in her flesh and blood. Yet, still beautiful under his eyes, perfect for him, the only one who could make him feel like that, the only one he had ever loved. Lucas looked meticulously at her body, knowing that every scare had been the consequences of his own decisions.

He glanced at the scars he already knew. The thin ones on her forearms from Mira's torture, the round one on her abdomen from his shout and the straight one on her belly from the abortion. He watched the scars he knew about but had never seen, like the one on her thigh from Gordon's stab and the one on her throat from her suicide attempt. Then he noticed some he didn't know about. A small mark on her left shoulder and a thin white scar under her right knee.

But what he spotted for the first time, was a tattoo on her right wrist. In a black old fashion letters was written the name of their unborn daughter, Charlotte. He stared at it a moment, then looked back at Alexandra, realizing she was looking intensely at him. She seemed concerned about what he was seeing, hoping he would be pleased and not disgusted. She didn't seem confident and Lucas had the feeling she needed to be reassured, she needed to know he found her as beautiful as before, even prettier and sexier than before.

"You're beautiful," he whispered to her in a longing tone. "You're perfect." She felt the corners of her lips kicking up at his statement, bringing him to smile too. He leaned back to her and kissed her passionately.

Their kiss became more intense, both releasing all the tension they had kept in themselves all this time, giving way to the burning desire they felt for each other. It was like their first time and at the same time they knew perfectly what to do. Their bodies remembered each other perfectly, filling the gap they had created the day they've been separated, like they were finally complete.

Lucas made love to Alexandra like he never had before. Never. It was tender, passionate, intense. It was not sex, it was love. True love.

After their intense reunion, Lucas and Alexandra stayed in bed. Alexandra was lying on her stomach while Lucas' fingers were running along her naked back.

"I love it," he smiled.

"You love my tattoo only because it's the key for your calculations," she teased.

"No. I love it because it's sexy on you," he replied, kissing her back, her neck, her shoulders. "And because it's the key for my calculations," he chuckled lightly.

"I'm a key," she mumbled to herself.

"You're _the _key," she heard him say to her ear.

His statement made her froze in an instant. Her brain was suddenly overwhelmed by dark thoughts. Thoughts from her past that reminded her of why she had those calculations engraved in her skin. Her body tensed and all of a sudden, it became hard to breathe. What was she doing in Lucas' arms? Honestly? She was going to die, there was no cure for her disease, she should be away, far away from him. They would both suffer if they stayed together. Why was she hurting him on purpose? It was so selfish of her that it almost made her sick.

When Lucas had told her he loved her, she had just lost it. She had known she may have felt differently when all of her emotions would have settled down, but she still had kissed him back and then… Then the minute after he was making love to her. It was her fault. She was giving him hope where there was none.

She needed to stay away from him. She had to be stronger than that. She pressed her lips in frustration and sat up. She grabbed her panties and put them on. Lucas propped himself up on one elbow as she stood.

"Where are you going?" He asked, confused. Alexandra looked at him awkwardly with a guilty gaze.

"Bathroom. I'm coming back in ten," she replied with a small smile.

"Come back here," he said gently, yet seriously.

"I'm coming back…"

"No, you won't. I can see it. Come here," he commanded her.

"Give me a sec," she pleaded him. How could he know what she was going to do whereas she didn't even know herself? Lucas exhaled loudly and stood up. He walked to her and stopped inches from her face.

"Do I look stupid?" He asked, half serious, half joking.

"No…"

"Then why are you acting like I am?"

"I'm not…" She denied.

"Go back to bed," he said firmly. Lucas knew she was up to something the moment he had felt her muscles tense against him. He was certain it had nothing to do with her illness. It was something else, something linked to her state of mind.

"I…"

"Now." She sighed but obediently walked back to the bed and slid under the sheets. She knew there was no point arguing. "And don't pout!" She forced a smile and he grinned in response.

"Happy?"

"Euphoric," he smirked when he joined her in the bed. He laid down next to her and she took the same place she had before, lying on her stomach.

"Alex?"

"Hmm…"

"We are together, aren't we?" He inquired.

"Is it what you want?" She replied carefully, her face hidden in the cushion.

"You know the answer. The real question is; do _you _want it?"

He wanted it to be her decision, he wanted her to say she wanted him to stay. He had clearly expressed what he wanted earlier, now it was her turn. He had to be patient, even if he wanted to reach for her and bring her back into his arms.

She turned to face him and looked right into those beautiful green eyes she had missed so much. She wrapped his chest with her arms and smiled sadly as she felt his arms wrapping her almost immediately.

"Yes, I do," she whispered, her throat tight as she heard herself lie. It was not really a lie, but it felt like it. She wished they could be together again. But the difference between a wish and reality was that she was going to die alone anyway, leaving him depressed. She closed her eyes and made the most of this moment. No one's else arms had ever made her feel this safe in her whole life. Lucas was the only one to whom she could give herself completely to.

"Will you be there when I wake up?" He asked, worried.

"Where else could I be?"

"I don't know… Away from me," he said, sadness filling his voice. She looked up at him. He looked like a scared child who needed to be reassured.

"I'm not going anywhere Lucas. I will stay with you," she affirmed.

"You will stay with me," he murmured.

"We stay together. No matter what," she confirmed. Alexandra wanted to believe what she was saying. She really wanted to. She wanted Lucas to hear what he needed to hear, to comfort him. She wanted him to feel better, to be stronger.

"No matter what," he stated, feeling strong again. She was back in his life, he was back in her heart. Nothing would separate them again, ever. Not even that disease that was growing up inside her. He would find a solution, he would heal her. He would not let her fall twice. This time, he would not abandon her.

Alexandra still didn't know how Lucas was doing it. How he was able to be so gentle with her, still so passionate, after everything they've been through. How could he awake feelings inside of her she had never felt before, that she had even doubted she was able to experience. The only reason was that she trusted him. She was safe with him. Like that night spent in The Eyes, her mind seemed to slow down her quick pace and eventually let her fall asleep.

Lucas loved Alexandra, and even if there was a lot of hurt that couldn't just be washed away in one night, and even if there was also a lot of uncertainty in their immediate future, she was back into his life and this time, he would not let her go. Lucas clutched her tighter, like he was clinging to life. He pressed his lips one last time on the top of her head and tightened his embrace, before joining her into sleep, wishing he could freeze this moment for ever.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Alex's part

"_When the days are cold and the cards all fold, and the saints we see are all made of gold. When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hail are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale. I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you. But with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. When the curtain's call is the last of all. When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave, and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you made. Don't want to let you down, but I am hell bound. Though this is all for you, don't want to hide the truth. […] They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go. Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light. I can't escape this now, unless you show me how." Demons - Imagine Dragons_

Lucas' part

_"__I feel it every day it's all the same. It brings me down but I'm the one to blame. I've tried everything to get away. So here I go again. Chasing you down again. Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over, I fall for you. Over and over, over and over, I try not to. It feels like everyday stays the same. It's dragging me down and I can't pull away. So here I go again. Chasing you down again. Why do I do this? Over and over, over and over, I fall for you. Over and over, over and over, I try not to. Over and over, over and over, you make me fall for you. Over and over, over and over, you don't even try. So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me, but I want you instead. I'll keep on wasting all my time." Over and over - Three Days Grace_


	66. Truth

**Truth**

Hunger woke Lucas up early. He slowly got out of Alexandra's embrace and went to the kitchen, ready to prepare them a real breakfast. While he was cooking food he knew Alexandra would be able to digest, he let his mind wander back to last night. It had been perfect, except when she had tried to run away. He was not stupid, he knew she had tried to flee. She had been nice to just obey and stay. But she was running away from him, he could see it.

Surely, her disease was the main reason why she felt the need to escape all the time. Also, they had not talked about it. They had enjoyed the moment and avoided the inevitable. They would have to talk, Lucas knew it. He had just tried to put off the discussion. And he was well aware that she had not tried to bring the subject up either. It was really hard for him to read her mind. He had no idea what was going on in her head. It was not like her to act like that. A shrill cry coming from the bedroom stopped Lucas dead in his train of thought.

"Nooooo! Nooooo!" Lucas heard Alexandra scream. Her voice was horribly filled with pain and terror. It was as if someone was torturing her. Lucas hurried up to the bedroom and put his hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently to wake her up.

"Alex! Alex, wake up!" he whispered.

"Don't do it, don't do it! Please, I'm begging you, don't do it. I'd do whatever you want, please…" She stammered in tears, still asleep. Lucas shook her harder, calling her name louder to wake her up. Her eyes shot open, wide in fear, lost between her nightmare and reality. She murmured inaudible things and he held her face with his hands, forcing her to gaze at him. She looked at him with anguish and her eyes went slowly back to normal as she realized where she was and who was with her.

"Alex?" He whispered again tenderly.

She let escape a sob and fell into his chest, crying. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her protectively. She did the same in response, hugging him, searching for comfort, as if he was the only protection from what was haunting her.

"It's okay. I'm here. You're safe with me. I'm here," he reassured her. It was breaking his heart to hear her making those choking sounds of distress. She eventually stopped crying and her sobs ended in tears running silently down her cheeks. She didn't move away from him and he would certainly not be the one to break their embrace either. "Do you want to tell me what's frightening you so much?" He felt her shake her head in his chest. "Maybe later then. You need to go back to sleep," he said, leaning her back to bed. But she clutched to his body.

"Stay with me," she murmured in a croaky voice. "Please," she begged, her wet eyes looking back at him for the first time.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly.

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said, kissing her forehead softly.

Lucas lifted the sheets and slid under. He wrapped her in his arms and they soon both fell back asleep. Lucas was supposed to go to work but he didn't care. She was much more important than anything else.

When they eventually woke up again, it was noon already. Lucas heat up the food he had prepared for their breakfast and they ate tranquilly until every trace of food disappear. Lucas insisted for Alexandra to have a proper breakfast and she forced herself to eat to please him. At the end, Lucas let himself fall on the sofa, his stomach full of food.

"Can I come with you?" She tried to ask lightly, but concern was audible in her tone. Lucas smiled and opened his arms to welcome her. She let out a breath of relief, which was ridiculous. Of course Lucas would not leave her alone. He had promised. But she was still afraid sometimes that he would stop doing it. That he would stop loving her, realizing how insignificant she was.

And maybe she had to admit she was afraid to lose him and she didn't want to be fooled again, being so sure what his reactions would be whereas in the past he had acted totally different from what she had expected him to. In fact, she just didn't want to get hurt again, neither to hurt him. Once his embrace was open, Alexandra came right into it. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and her arms came folded upon his chest. He pulled her in tightly like he had after her nightmare. That was at that precise moment when Lucas decided that he would never withdraw any affection she needed from him.

"Don't worry, I will never leave you alone," Lucas reassured her as if he had read her mind.

"We stay together?" She asked him, needing him to prove it again even if she knew what his answer would be and what the reality would be. She needed him to reassure her, even if it meant lying to her.

"Always." Lucas swore, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He felt Alexandra smiled against his chest and it made him smile.

"It's always the same dream," she suddenly blurted out after a few minutes of silence. Lucas' smile faltered and he stopped daydreaming, turning his full attention on Alexandra. "It plays in my head again and again every night since I've arrived."

"What happens?"

"My father happens," she sighed. "He comes for me. He destroys everything, kills everyone I love and then… Then there is only you left. I beg him not to kill you. I beg him to forgive me. I beg him to take my life instead of yours. And all he does is laughing evilly. He says that I need to understand how stupid I've been to underestimate him, that I need to pay for the mistakes I've made. He reminds me who's in charge and then he kills you…" Her eyes started to prickle at the thought of the scene she knew by heart now. Him looking at her, then her falling down, his beautiful green eyes suddenly lifeless. She had to fight the tears that were threatening to come. "Then he leaves me alone to think about what I've done. To think about the consequences of my actions. I stay here, alone, abandoned here to die. I'm alive but I'm dead inside. I'm just a lost soul wandering in pain. I try to kill myself but I can't…

"This is not going to happen," Lucas reassured her, tightening his embrace as if it would protect her more.

"How do you know?"

"I won't let that happen," he swore firmly.

"My father was right."

"About what?"

"My heart is my weakness. My will to protect the ones I love is gonna make them dead."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. I shouldn't be here."

"You stayed away from me to protect me, to keep me safe. But you were wrong. Like I was when I decided to leave you alone, not telling you our plan for your parents. There's only one way to protect each other. And it's by being together. We can only be safe when we are together. Because how can we defend each other if we are not together?"

"You can't protect me from this." She retorted before getting out of his embrace and standing up. Lucas mimicked her and stood up quickly, reaching for her.

"There are few things I won't tolerate," he warned her.

"Like what?"

"Like messing up your life."

"It's already a mess."

"Why do you have to be so pessimistic? Where's the optimist girl I knew?"

"She died a year ago," she answered dryly.

"I'm worried about you."

"No, you're not. You just feel guilty!"

"You don't know what you're saying," he scolded.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child. I'm not a child!"

"Then don't act like one!" He hollered, almost scaring her.

"Shut up!" She screamed in response.

"Did you really just tell me to shut up?" He hissed furiously.

"Yes! Yes, I did!" She taunted.

"You're trying to piss me off so I will leave you. No way that's gonna happen," he grumbled. He started to pace the room, trying to calm down.

"You can't choose who lives and who dies!"

"Neither do you!"

"You… You don't understand," she groaned between gritted teeth.

"I'd do anything to make you stay."

"What do you want? What do you want to hear? You want a revelation? Some kind of solution? You want to hear me tell you that everything's gonna be fine? I'm sorry, I won't lie to you!" She screamed angrily.

"Don't do that… Don't give up." He said as calmly as possible.

"You can't get it right! You can't! The only thing you can do is to let me go!"

"No…" He said in a croaky voice. She looked at him and realized he was almost crying.

"Don't you want to please me?" She dared to ask in a sweet tone.

"Please you? Are you kidding?" He replied furiously, his moment of distress replaced by anger in a second.

"I could die happy. I'm almost happy. I know Maddy is fine with Mark. Josh and Skye are back together. Damon is dating Trinity. The only thing I'm not happy with, it's you. You make me unhappy because you cling to me. You don't want to move on. You have to Lucas. Let me go, please! Let me die knowing you're all fine."

"I'm not gonna please you. You're dreaming if you think I will do such a stupid thing."

"You don't have to rescue me. You don't have to be my white knight. Life is made of choices. I have decided what I did. This is the consequence of my own choice, not yours. I told you before, you can't fix this."

"I love you. Isn't it enough for you to understand that I can't move on?" He was fighting to keep his voice steady.

"You will have no choice."

"Alex, I love you!" He insisted.

"Don't!" She snapped flatly.

Lucas was ready to reply when a knock at the door stopped them in their dispute. Alexandra thanked God for this intervention, but quickly regretted it when she saw Mark at the door, his face hard.

"Commander Taylor wants to see you," he said coolly.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss this with you. You need to follow me."

"Now?"

"Now."

Alexandra started to get worried and was afraid to find out what Taylor wanted to tell her. She turned to see Lucas who was still very upset.

"I need to go," she said blankly.

"Don't think this conversation is over," Lucas warned her before leaving.

It broke her heart into pieces to see him walk outside, furious with her. But maybe it was better that way? She looked at Mark who was staring at his shoes.

"What is it, Mark?"

"Are you ready?" He asked as if she had said nothing. They stared at each other a moment in silence. It really was not like Mark to be so distant. Nothing good was waiting for her at the headquarters, she was now sure of it.

"Yeah," she replied with annoyance, before following him outside.

When Alexandra entered the headquarters, she immediately felt the tension that filled the room. Damon was in the corner of the room, his face dark. Jim was standing next to his wife, who was fidgeting in front of Taylor. It didn't sound good at all.

"You called me?" Alexandra managed to say.

"Miss Paris," Taylor said, his voice tensed. "Dr. Shannon has brought to my attention that you would be ... dying."

Her heart started hammering in her chest at the sound of the word '_dying'_. Alexandra could feel all eyes laid on her, making her uncomfortable. She wanted to answer, but her mouth was dry. There was no saliva to swallow, but it would be impossible anyway, her throat was too tight. She stared at Taylor, speechless.

"I take that silence as a yes," Taylor groaned furiously. Alexandra looked at Elisabeth who was obviously sorry to have told her secret. "Dr. Shannon, I can't tolerate someone that important in my colony to lie to me. I need to know I can trust the people who work here. Your action can't stay unpunished. The fact that you came here to tell it to me, in the end, is helping you. I won't fire you. But you won't lead the infirmary anymore."

"What?" Jim intervened. "Taylor!"

"She needs to understand that she is like everyone else in this colony. The rules are the rules!"

Elisabeth didn't say a single word to defend herself. Instead, she was staring at the floor, biting her lips.

"My wife did what every other doctor would have done in such situation!" Jim argued.

"She should have told me!" Taylor replied dryly.

"Stop! Stop it! This isn't her fault! I asked her to keep quiet! I asked her to do it!" Alexandra yelled, stepping between Taylor and Dr. Shannon.

"She should have told me," Taylor said firmly.

"As my doctor and as my friend she couldn't. You know that."

"Don't you see how stupid her decision was!?"

"It was not _her _decision, it was _mine_!" She insisted.

"And now what? We have lost time to help you!"

"I don't want to be helped! I am not your priority, I'm not the one to worry about. Your priority is to protect Terra Nova from my father. Your priority is to prepare for the fight that is coming. Your priority is to keep good doctors like Elisabeth in your team!"

"What do you mean?" Damon asked, suddenly reminding his presence to all of them, glaring angrily at Alexandra.

"I mean… I mean," she stammered, shocked by Damon's temper.

"You mean that you have already given up, right? You mean that from the beginning you knew you were going to die and you've chosen to leave us in the dark." His voice was rough and cold. Alexandra had never seen him like that. He was clearly disappointed and hurt.

"I'm due to die. What's the point of losing time trying to save me?" Alexandra blurted out.

"You lied to us," he spat, disgust evident in his voice.

"There is no cure. There is nothing else to do. I accepted Elisabeth's help only to make her feel better." She turned to face Dr. Shannon. "I'm sorry Elisabeth," she confessed sadly, shaking her head. "I knew you would not find a cure. I knew it. You can't reverse the process, it's too late." Alexandra looked back at Taylor, her gaze determined. "I only have a week left or so. There's no need to worry about me. I don't want your pity. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I am what I am and I pay the consequences of _my _acts, _my _decisions. I failed stopping my father. Don't make the same mistakes I did," she told them all.

"I'm sorry Alex."

"Do you even know what you're sorry for? You're mad at me because I'm dying!"

"No, I'm mad at you because, once again, you didn't ask for help!"

"What's the point of asking? What would you do? Huh? Be sorry for me? Tell me you wish you could save me? Pity me?" She snapped sarcastically.

"You deserved to be helped! We need you alive!"

"I can't figure out what you all see in me that is worth saving."

"Can't you see that it's not just about you? This is about the colony, about its future, you are part of something bigger than yourself! We need you to be alive for the others," Taylor reminded her.

"You're wrong," she shook her head vigorously.

"You don't see it, that's why people believe in you. You're humble and honest."

"I don't want them to believe me," she said truthfully. "I don't. Why would they?"

"Because your generosity is pure, it makes people trust you."

"I am not the generous person you say I am. I'm not a trustworthy person."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your story of perseverance is inspiring them."

"Stop. Stop saying that. Stop using me as a tool of propaganda. I am not an example. People should not take example on me.

"You don't see yourself clearly. Because you touch them in your own way. When you help them with something that you think is normal whereas for them it means a lot. When you smile to them or listen to them. It's something natural with you. They like you. You are part of their lives."

"They have to stop. I've never asked for that. I didn't do it for that. I don't need them and they don't need me. Nobody needs me that much."

"You really don't understand, do you? You're hope! This is what you are for the people here. You survived everything. Having you back here is proving to them that they can do it, they can face it."

"You're ridiculous. How could I be hope? I'm dying! I failed!"

"You're strong. People are impressed by you, they envy your strength."

"I'm not strong. I'm not strong at all. I'm just a coward who always runs away. I take the easiest way or I give up all the time. I don't want to listen to you. This is bullshit. It doesn't make any sense. I never ask for this. I just want to be left alone," she blurted out.

"Alex…"

"This conversation leads nowhere. I won't change my mind. You won't change yours. We can both agree to disagree," she said. "Don't pity me. I don't like it. And don't sermon me neither for that matter, because it won't change anything. And don't blame Dr. Shannon for my own choices, I deserve this," she added.

"Right, you don't want to be saved?" Taylor challenged her.

"No."

"Then you won't! Dr. Shannon, I forbid you to prescribe any medicine to that girl."

"Commander!" Elisabeth argued for the first time.

"No, you already wasted too much medicine on someone who doesn't want to be helped. This masquerade stops now."

"You can't be serious!"

"It's fine," Alexandra snapped. "It's perfectly fine. The Commander is right. No more waste," she said roughly. She could no longer be a part of the conversation that was going on. She couldn't even listen to them. They couldn't understand, no one could. She had made her decision and she had to keep to it. It was better, for all of them.

"Alex…" Dr. Shannon pleaded her.

"Thank you, Elisabeth. Really, I appreciated it. But medicine is rare and you should keep it for people who're worth it," she smiled warmly.

"Alex! Where are you going?" Jim asked eagerly.

"To die in peace… somewhere," she grinned sardonically before leaving.

They all looked at Taylor who didn't try to stop her.

"Taylor, what are you doing?" Jim inquired, bewildered, once she was gone.

"She always does the opposite of what we want her to do. I guess it can't hurt to try a bit of reverse psychology."

"So you tell her to die and she's gonna try to survive?" Damon wondered, perplex.

"It's dangerous," Jim stated.

"It could work," Elisabeth said. "It could help her to not give up. But it still doesn't solve our main problem. She's infected."

"I also got a plan for that," Taylor replied mysteriously.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Lucas and Alex's part

"_You are the hole in my head. You are the space in my bed. You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said. You are the night time fear. You are the morning when it's clear. When it's over you'll start. You're my head. You're my heart. No light, no light in your bright blue eyes. I never knew daylight could be so violent. A revelation in the light of day. You can't choose what stays and what fades away. And I'd do anything to make you stay. No light, no light. No light. Tell me what you want me to say. Through the crowd, I was crying out and in your place there were a thousand other faces. I was disappearing in plain sight. Heaven help me, I need to make it right. You want a revelation, you wanna get it right. But, it's a conversation, I just can't have tonight. You want a revelation, some kind of resolution. You want a revelation. […] Would you leave me, if I told you what I've done? And would you need me, if I told you what I've become? 'cause it's so easy, to say it to a crowd. But it's so hard, my love, to say it to you out loud." No light, no light - Florence and the Machine_


	67. Explanations

**Explanations**

After Taylor's explanations, Damon left the headquarters ready to take his shift, when Dr. Shannon stopped him.

"Damon, you have established a special relationship with her. Talk to her, she'll listen," Dr. Shannon pleaded to him.

"The Commander has been very clear about his plan."

"I know. But just in case, if it doesn't work."

"I do not see why you imagine she'll listen to me. That would be a first."

"Will you try?"

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Thank you."

Damon left Dr. Shannon, wondering how he could convince Alexandra to change her mind but above all, he had to find her. She was really good at playing hide and seek. Fortunately, he knew a good way to know where she was. He made a detour to Malcolm's lab before heading to the back end of the crop's field.

He found her few minutes later, sitting behind some trees, well hidden. Damon walked silently to her and stopped a few meters away.

"Found you," he smiled playfully.

Alexandra jumped in surprise, but didn't turn her head to see who had talked. She knew Damon's voice perfectly.

"How did you find me?"

"Cameras."

She turned her head for the first time and watched him coming in front of her.

"How?"

"Told you," he replied, tilting his head to the side, his eyes narrowing on her.

"Don't you lie to me Damon Keagan," she snapped. "I know I've avoided the cameras."

"I used your tracking device," he answered honestly, a start of a smile spreading on his face.

"My what?" She asked genuinely.

"Your tracking device," he repeated. "I must confess I was quite surprised to see you had not taken it off already."

"What are you talking about?" She frowned.

"Your beacon!" He said, grabbing her right wrist in his hands and turning it to undo the bracelet of her watch. She took her arm out of his hands before he could untie it.

"Let go of me!"

"I'm just showing you," he defended himself, holding his hands in the air in surrender.

"Show me what?" She groaned as she stood up.

"It's inside it."

"What is?"

"The chip."

"Are you kidding me? You plugged me?" She asked, upset, realizing only now what Damon had meant.

"I had no choice at the time. It was to protect you."

"I don't… I don't understand. When did you do that?"

"A year ago."

"No way."

"I did it when we suspected your parents were plotting against us."

"I don't believe you."

"How do you think your dear Lucas found where you were in the jungle?" He sneered, vexed.

Alexandra didn't reply, not knowing what to say. It was true that she had not asked Lucas nor Josh how they had found them. She had other things in mind at the time.

"Wouldn't be the first time I'm disappointed," she mumbled.

"Don't turn it back on you. I am the one who's disappointed. You betrayed me. You lied to me. I never thought you would do that to me."

"And still, here you are, asking for more," she mocked.

"Alex, for God sakes, stop doing that. Stop rejecting me."

"Why are you all trying to piss me off? Why can't you just let me decide what I want to do with the last bits of my life?"

"You want to decide? To make you own decisions? Then stop acting like an idiot and maybe we'll stop treating you like one."

"Go to hell!"

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"You're such a pain," she groaned through gritted teeth.

"Why?" He insisted.

"Because I'm fucking angry with you, with all of you!" She blurted out.

"Why? We did nothing wrong! We're just trying to help you!"

"Don't! Don't try! How many times do I have to tell you that l don't want you to try!" She yelled frantically.

"You need to calm down," Damon said firmly, realizing how fuming she was.

"Why? Why should I? My life is totally out of control!"

"Then let me help you! Why can't you accept my help?"

"Because I'm fucking scared! I'm freaking out, okay? Being upset is the only thing I can deal with right now. I don't want to be sad, I don't want to be optimistic, I don't want to love one last time, I don't want to be loved one last time. I want to be left alone! Leave me alone," she ordered him before walking away quickly.

Damon didn't let her go too far and quickly reached for her arm, spinning her around.

"Do you even want to live?" He shouted forcefully.

"It's not possible! I have accepted it. I have accepted it," she said, pressing on every single word.

"Do you?" He insisted.

"Of course I wanted to live. But what's the point in fighting when you know you're gonna lose in the end anyway? I've accepted my sentence. Just do the same."

"If you're so sure you're gonna die why don't you just put a bullet right to your head?" Damon snarled angrily, disgust evident in his voice. Alexandra had never seen him so upset. He was so furious that it made her speechless. "Answer me, why?"

She looked at her shaky hands, wondering why she had not done it yet. Why? Damon was right. She could have spared everyone's worry if she had ended her life.

"You didn't do it because you still have hope," Damon swore. "It's okay if you're scared. I'm here. We're here to reassure you. There's still hope for you."

"I can't afford to think like that. Hope is gonna kill me. I'd rather face the truth," Alexandra sighed, shaking her head. Damon was fantasizing. Just dreaming she would believe him and change her mind. But she wouldn't, she couldn't. She turned her back to him, avoiding his pleading gaze.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm ignoring you."

"I do not want to witness it. I won't stay here and look at you dying slowly under my eyes."

"Everybody makes choices, you gonna have to accept mine."

"I don't know who this is, but this is not you. You would never do that."

"People change, remember?"

"Tell me who will remember the love _we _have for you, the love _I _have for you, the love _he _has for you, once you're dead? Huh?"

She looked at him thoughtfully, pressing her lips, before stepping closer. She slid her hands along his waist, inside his jacket, and placed her body against his, her face against his jaw. He wrapped her in his arms almost immediately and she tightened her embrace.

"Damon, I adore you," she murmured to his ear. "But you're wasting your time." She felt his body tensed. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away to see her face was serious. She gave him a small smile and walked away, leaving him speechless.

Alexandra headed straight to her house, seeking for a shelter. She was almost there when she bumped into Maddy.

"Hi Maddy!" She greeted her with a warm smile.

"Is it true?" Maddy asked bluntly.

"What is?"

"Are your days alive limited?"

Alexandra's smile vanished at her question.

"Maddy, I..."

"No! I can't believe you did this! You should have told me. I'm your friend! You said I was like a sister to you. You lied to me! How dare you?"

"But, I…"

"What? You didn't find the good moment to tell me? I'm so… so… so angry with you! How can you be so stupid?"

"Why are you all scolding me? You're supposed to be my friends!"

"Because you're stupid!" She silenced her. "And that is what friends are there for. To remind you when you act like a dumb person! And all the speeches you told me about love and friendship were they true? Or was it just a lie? You're such a good liar after all, aren't you? I can't believe I've been so stupid! Letting you come into my life, my family, sharing secrets, sharing time… We were friends Alex! I cared for you, I spent months crying for my missing friend, I can't believe it, I can't believe you did this to me! I'd have never thought you would disappoint me the way you did."

Alexandra stood motionless, unable to respond to all the accusations from Maddy. Her friend, that she considered like her sister, was disappointed. So disappointed that she regretted having known her. Alexandra felt her throat tighten gradually as Maddy accelerated her rate of speech. Maddy was furious and, like for Damon earlier, it was the first time Alexandra had seen her so upset.

"You say nothing? Great. Alex, you've been a detestable friend. If you change your mind and want to come back as the girl I knew a year ago, then you're welcome. Otherwise, don't bother talking to me. Ever."

On that last note, Maddy left her. She quickened her pace as she felt tears coming. She had hated to talking to her best friend like she had, but she knew it was to help her. When Taylor had asked her to go and talk to her '_freely'_, she had not thought she would say such horrible things.

What was troubling her the most was that she really meant some of them and it was hurting her a lot. She was deeply hurt to know her friend was dying and she had not told it to her. She was also very angry that Alexandra didn't want to be helped. It was not like her to give up. Maddy hoped Taylor's plan was going to work; she really wanted it to work. To find true love was rare. But to find a true best friend you could always rely on was rarer. She definitely wanted her best friend to come back to reason.

Alexandra stayed a moment in silence, standing in the middle of the alley, lost in her thoughts. The laughing of kids playing few meters away brought her back to reality. She took a deep breath and headed back to her house. When she arrived at home, she found Lucas waiting for her in the kitchen.

"You and I need to talk," he said firmly, and this time, Alexandra knew there was no possible escape to avoid this conversation.

"Lucas… I don't want to fight with you. Not now, please."

"I need to know more about how you've been infected, about your life there."

Alexandra was surprised by his request. She expected him to try to convince her to change her mind, like the others.

"What for?"

"To find a cure."

"Lucas, there's no cure…" She sighed. For an instant, she had thought he was different, but he just was like the others.

"Let me try, would you?"

Alexandra sighed silently and looked away. Was it a problem to let him try? If it was helping him to deal with her death, was it such a big sacrifice to tell him? But then, if he was trying, it meant that he had hope. And that was something Alexandra couldn't handle. She couldn't live on people's expectation when she already knew she would deceive them.

Lucas approached her slowly and put his hands on her waist, bringing her against him.

"Alex, sweetheart, I need to know," he pleaded her softly.

She shut her eyes and put her forehead on his chest. His closeness made her melt into his embrace. Lucas was the only one who could make her react that way. It was harder to fight with him, it had always been.

"Okay," she murmured.

Lucas ran his hands up to her face and tilted it up to him.

"Thank you," he said before kissing her gently.

"What do you want to know?" She asked as she stepped out of his embrace and sat behind the table.

"Start with the beginning," he answered as he sat in front of her, giving her the space she obviously needed.

"You know the beginning. Let's go straight to the point where I've been poisoned."

"No, tell me about before. When did you start plotting against your father?"

"Something like 6 months ago…"

"Why? What happened?"

"Do we really have to talk about this?"

"Everything is important."

"I don't remember very well," she lied.

"Alex, do you remember that I know you've got an incredible memory?" He scolded her.

Alexandra didn't want to remember that part of her past. Her hands became moist and began to tremble. She rubbed them on her trousers in stress. Her heart started racing in her ribcage as every memory she had buried to the back of her head were resurfacing like an uncontrollable wave. All of a sudden she felt dizzy and the room seemed to spin around her.

Her face became pale and Lucas ran quickly around the table to catch her before she could collapse on the floor.

"Alex! Alex, hey!" He called her, gently slapping her cheeks with the back of his hand.

"I'm… I'm okay."

"No, you're not!"

"I need some water," she mumbled.

Lucas took her in his arms, carried her across the room and placed her on the sofa. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed a glass that he filled with cold water. He came back to the living room and sat next to her. While she was slowly sipping the water, his hand was pushing some strands of hair that were stuck to her sweaty forehead.

"Better?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I should call Elisabeth," he told himself.

"No! I'm fine. I swear, I am."

He looked at her, not believing her. Yet, he did nothing.

"You know that you still have to tell me," he added after a moment.

"Are you sure you want to know?" She asked in a faint voice.

"I'm sure."

"It's not… like me. I did horrible things."

"Nothing you did, or do, will make me love you less," he reassured her.

She swallowed with difficulty and took a deep breathing.

"I've been the shadow of myself the first month I spent with my father. Then I convinced myself that maybe, my father was right. Maybe I was just like him. I hid myself behind an armor. I hid my feelings, my heart, my soul… I threw it all away. I became someone else. I became my father's best element. He was really proud. Me, I was totally insensitive. Like I was under drugs. 6 months ago, I was really wondering what to do with myself. My life was a lie, every action I made was a lie, and every word I said was a lie, I… I was a lie."

"What happened?"

"I had started drinking, to forget. Forget everything I knew, everything I did, everything."

"Alcohol, huh? Sounds like something I can comprehend," he smiled sadly.

"I was drunk all the time, but it was not enough. It was acting like an energizer. I was better than ever! My mind was working faster, I was learning faster, everything was easier. I couldn't stop."

"But you did stop eventually, didn't you?"

"Eventually, yes."

"What made you?"

"I killed a man in cold blood, just to prove to my father I was on his side," she confessed, remorse evident in her voice.

"I'm sure you had no other choice," he stated, pressing his hand around hers, supporting her.

"Lame reason," she shook her head in despair. "I was just too weak to fight my father. I tortured for my father. I tortured men, even women. I spied for him. I made researches. But that, killing that man, it was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"It was to save your life."

"And what made my life better than his? Maybe he had a wife. Maybe he had kids. I killed a husband, a father; just to prove something I was not!"

"Alex, you made a decision that saved your life, don't regret it."

"It's not that easy. I know I can kill to save my life if I'm in danger. I can kill to protect the people I love. But this… I killed a man. I looked at him, he begged me to spare him, and I shot him!"

"What did you do after that?" Lucas inquired, avoiding her last comment.

"I broke my wrist," she chuckled, rubbing it at the memory of what she had done. "Then I drank. Like a lot of drinking… And that night, I…" She didn't finish her sentence. Her gaze was focused on the carpet, like her mind was gone somewhere else.

"You?"

"You're gonna think I'm crazy…" She grimaced.

"I won't."

"I saw you. You were there. I mean, really there, physically there. You were in front of me, staring at me. And you were looking at me like you were looking at something horrible… I lost it. It was just too much. It was too disturbing. I thought I was becoming mad. That you were kinda haunting me."

Lucas seemed to ponder her revelation for a moment, while Alexandra was biting her lip in stress.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"No, it's not. I thought I heard your voice many times during the last year."

"I was so distressed… That day, that precise day when I saw you, I lost my mind. I was so tired. I was so fed up. I wanted it to end. I was really determined to end all of this," her voice broke into a whisper as she felt sobs coming. Lucas stayed silent, but inside, a knot had formed inside his stomach. "Anyway… before I could do anything, coming out of nowhere, Sean appeared."

"Sean?" Lucas asked, a hint of jealousy perceptible in his voice.

"Sean is one of my father's engineers. He's an ass," she grinned broadly. "Honestly, he's just… Well, just like you."

"Nice," he grimaced.

"No offense, really! I mean, he was bragging all the time. He clearly despised me. And I made it clear that I hated him too. He was arrogant, cocky and all. But in the end, he was funny. Tough outside, soft inside. Just like you," she smiled lovingly, putting her finger on his chest.

"So what did he do that was so impressive?" He inquired, trying to look detached.

"I was totally drunk and I was on the edge of doing something really stupid," she confessed. She looked at him ashamed, realizing how somber his face had become.

"Dying is never a solution," he groaned. "Being dead won't help anyone. Even less, you."

"When you're so deep in your sorrow, you don't care about the others," she replied coolly.

"So, he arrived on time, and then?" Lucas brought back the discussion on her story, not wanting to discuss how stupid she had been. He couldn't comprehend people who wanted to end their life. Even if he understood how desperate Alexandra had been at the time, he was just sure he could never do such a stupid thing.

"He came to me. I don't know why, why he came when I needed someone. But there he was. He said things. He talked honestly to me, without reason. He used the good words, the ones I needed, the ones that made sense. And I chose to believe him. It was strange, the way he talked, the way he confessed me all of those things. Actually, you know what? It reminds me of you, of that night at the falls when you told me everything about your mother, your father and all. I don't know why, I can't explain it. I just felt it that way, I trusted him. It felt right. He gave me strength. Strength to carry on, strength to live, strength to fight."

"He saved you," Lucas murmured, his piercing eyes staring at her.

"He saved me," she confirmed, looking intensely at him too.

Lucas had the feeling she was not telling him the entire story. The fact that she was not explaining more about Sean was proof of it. Anyway, he needed to focus on the rest of the elements.

"Then, you decided to fight, right?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Sean is a great scientist, but above all, a super nerd, the best highjacker ever. He created a virus that could destroy the portal on its first use. With the nuclear war threatening us, we had to be quick. We decided to destroy every portal once they were sold. To succeed, I needed to break into the new owner's property and plug a key inside the portal. It was easy, honestly. First, the Chinese. Then the Africans, the Germans, the Americans, and the French. The first problem I encountered was with the Russians. I entered their factory and high jacked the portal, the usual routine. Everything seemed to go fine, but when I tried to get out, there were some soldiers waiting for me. I fought with them, but I was quickly outnumbered. I have a vague memory of feeling something stitching me in the neck, then nothing. I woke up one day later in the desert, left to rot of dehydration. I made my way to a dome and called for reinforcement. Fortunately, Sean had sent few guys to look for me. So they pick me up and brought me back before my father could see anything. I was alright, except the dehydration, I was fine. It was only few weeks later that I started to feel sick. Sean was worried, so he made some researches. That's when I learnt that this factory was suspected to be a shelter for biological weapons."

"You're infected for how long?"

"43 days."

"What is… How long before…"

"Before I die?"

"How long has anyone held the longest?"

"For what I know, 52 days."

"Okay, there's still plenty of time," he tried to reassure her as much as himself.

"This person was dead before his heart stopped. On the 49th day, he lost his mind. And before that, he was in so much pain, he nearly shot himself to stop the ache."

"It won't happen to you."

"Will you shoot me before? Before it's too late. Before I become a vegetable?"

Lucas didn't answer, shaking his head from side to side. He had never imagined that Alexandra could flee or hide things from him. Or at least, not as good as she did, and not for such a long time. A day would come when he would understand her again. But today, he couldn't. He didn't want to.

"Maybe you won't have to do it anyway…" She mumbled.

"What happened with the Japanese?"

"I already had symptoms when I broke into their hangar to pirate the portal. Unfortunately, I had a crisis of pain and I just couldn't control my members. I was so shaky that I made a mistake and they caught me. You know the rest."

"Yeah," he responded absentmindedly.

"I still don't understand why my father is not here yet. It doesn't make sense. Surely, he has found out I was missing. He should be here already."

"It's strange, indeed," Lucas said thoughtfully.

"It seems like nothing ever goes as it was planned."

"I'm sorry Alex."

"I'm not complaining. Don't be sorry, I'm not."

"Are you serious?" He demanded in a reproachful tone.

"Honestly, what should I be sorry for? Why should I feel guilty? Somehow, I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I hurt you. I feel guilty because my father is coming to hurt you. I feel guilty for many reasons. But what I don't feel guilty about, is to keep to my decision. I know I made the good decision. I'm gonna die, I have to accept it, that I can't feel guilty about. It's rational, it's the best decision."

"No, it's not. And I'll prove it to you."

His insistence made her frown.

"And what will happen if you don't?"

"That's not an option," he stated firmly.

Three sharp taps at the door made them quit their silent stare. Lucas sighed loudly and stood up to open the door.

"Mark? Again? Should I be worried to see you around so much?" He joked. But his smile faded when he saw how serious and embarrassed his friend was. "Not a jealous attitude, is it?"

"The Commander wants to see you."

"What does he want?"

"I can't tell you, but you need to come with me."

"Now?" He asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Now."

Lucas came back to Alexandra took her face in his hand before kissing her.

"Wait for me."

Alexandra had a strange feeling of déjà vu when she saw Lucas leaving with Mark in the headquarters' direction. This was the end of something, she could feel it. The future seemed suddenly scarier than before. She needed to free her mind. She needed to forget that fright that was slowly growing up inside her, gnawing her guts. She needed to be stronger than she felt right now. She needed a drink and she needed it now. A minute later, she was leaving the house, heading to Boylan's.


	68. Alive

Happy birthday to this fic! 1 year ago I posted the first chapter of this story! 68 chapters later, I'm still here!

I'd like to thank the people who are still there, supporting me after a year! Thanks everyone! Some of you added me to their alert list, some of you to their favorite list. In any case, I thank you for that.

Now, let's just have some fun! Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>Alive<strong>

Lucas followed Mark to the headquarters in silence. Strangely, he was not in a hurry to know why he had been convoked. When he entered the room, Taylor and Jim stopped their conversation and greeted him with a nod.

"Morning Commander, Sherriff," Lucas greeted back. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this so agreeable convocation?"

"Where were you last night?" Taylor asked bluntly.

"Home," he shrugged innocently.

"That is strange…" Jim pointed out.

"What is?"

"Mark said you didn't come back home last night."

"I don't kiss you good night and that's it, you call the police?" He joked lightly to Mark.

"Do you know where Alex is?" Taylor inquired seriously.

"Why?" Lucas asked suspiciously.

"Where is she?"

"She's probably at her home. Why?" As nobody answered, Lucas insisted. "Why do you want to know?"

"Son, we know."

"You know what?" He frowned. Could they already know he had slept with her? And even if they knew, what was so annoying about it? They all wished they could come back together. Why did he have to come here and give explanations? Then he thought about Alexandra and wondered why they had wanted to see her in the first place. What had she said to them?

"We know she's dying."

Lucas' face darkened at his father's answer. He had thought he'd be the only one, beside Dr. Shannon, to know it. Or at least, he had hoped he would have had more time to deal with the situation before anyone noticed.

"And?" He asked, his face emotionless.

"Is this just how little it touches you?" Jim inquired, slightly annoyed.

"Hang on, Jim. The real question is why does he look so detached?" Taylor frowned, staring at the unreadable face of his son. "You have a plan, don't you?"

"Come on, Dad. How could I have a plan? I learnt she was sick just last night."

"Don't play with me like I'm a fool."

"I would never do that," Lucas swore with a smile, his hand over his heart.

"Were you even going to tell us she was ill?"

"Probably. Yes. Maybe," he shrugged. "I don't know. Eventually, one day, I'd have."

"Listen, son. We have a plan. And I ask everyone to stick to it."

"What is it?"

"We continue to prepare our troops for the war that is coming."

"And?"

"And we work harder on the portal as an exit door."

"What about Alex?" Lucas sighed, annoyed. He clearly didn't care about his father's plan if it didn't include the woman he loved.

"She asked us not to help her, and it's what we are going to do," Taylor told his son.

"You're kidding, right?" Lucas smiled, unsure.

"No."

Lucas' smile widened and he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Taylor asked seriously.

"Do you really think I'm gonna believe you? You, the man who screams to everyone how generous and kind he is, _you_, you're going to let her die?"

"She decided her own fate."

"No, she didn't," Lucas said darkly, his voice rough.

"Yes, she did. And this is not something to discuss. The decision has been made."

"By who? By you?" He sneered. "Fuck your decision! Fuck your stupid ego! Fuck you!" Lucas spat angrily before he turned his back to his father. Taylor walked quickly to his son and grabbed his elbow tightly. Lucas didn't give him time to react and punched him hard in the face, sending him few meters away. Jim caught Taylor, stopping him in his fall.

"Don't you, _ever_, touch me again," Lucas warned him vigorously, his index finger pointed in his direction, menacingly.

"I forbid you to help her, is it clear?" Taylor insisted.

"Yeah," Lucas chuckled awkwardly before leaving.

"Reverse psychology, huh?" Jim sniggered once Lucas was out of sight. "Was it the reaction you were expecting?"

"Somehow, yes," Taylor forced a smile. "Not the punch's part, though," he added, his hand massaging his painful jaw. "But at least, now I'm sure he's gonna defy me."

"Let's just hope he'll succeed."

"He will. My son is the cleverest man I know. I trust him," Taylor stated truthfully, his icy blue eyes staring at the door where his son was a minute ago.

When Lucas had left with Mark, Alexandra had walked straight to the bar. She had stopped drinking when she had decided to fight her father and because it was not good to drink alcohol in her state. But now, all she needed was a long drink of gin and tonic.

"Hi Tom!"

"Hi frenchy!" He beamed warmly. Boylan really liked the girl. "What can I do for ya?" He asked, his elbows on the bar, leaning towards her.

"Have a drink with me!" She smiled at him, her bright smile and her mischievous eyes seducing him immediately.

"I'm working," he started to say.

"Like you care," she mocked. "I'll pay."

"First, it's a little bit too early, even for me. Second, you ain't got no money darlin'" Boylan knew that without a job she couldn't have any money at all. Not that it was a problem for him to give her a drink on the house, but it was quite early for anyone to drink.

"I've got some," she replied, plunging her hand into her pocket. "I've got… Uuuuh… 30 Terra."

"Where did you get that from?" Boylan frowned. It was a lot of money, even for him.

"Oh, you don't want to know," she waved away with her hand. She had stolen it, or, as she preferred to think, borrowed it from Damon. How could she survive without money? When she had hugged him in the field, the occasion had been too much of a temptation. It was a fair return of things after all. And it was not as if she was going to stay there for long anyway. It was a short-term investment for Damon. As a lieutenant, he had a good pay, he could well afford it.

"Then, how can I refuse that?" He smiled, grabbing a bottle of his best whisky for him and one of gin for her.

"What are we celebrating?"

"Life, Tom. Life!" She drank her gin straight and made a grimace. "Wow, just as disgusting as I remembered!" She coughed. "But give me another one!"

"You know it's not real gin and tonic, right?"

"Doesn't matter. It'll do the same."

"The Sheriff's here," Tom suddenly warned her, his relaxed attitude changing into a cooler one.

Alexandra stared at her empty glass and waited, listening to the steps that were coming closer. Without a word, Jim sat next to her and ordered a drink from Boylan. The barman served him and left the two of them alone.

"Hard day?" Alexandra eventually asked, embarrassed by the heavy silence that had installed.

"I've known better days."

"What's the drink for?"

"You know, sometimes, it just helps." Alexandra glanced at him and his kind face made her smile. "What's your drink for?" He asked her.

"You know, sometimes, it just helps," she repeated in a funny tone that made him laugh. "Jim, you're the only one who did not try to make me change my mind. Why?"

"I know what it is to spend a long time away from the people you love. Taken and put somewhere you don't belong to. I don't judge you Alex. I understand you. That's why I won't push you away. That's why I want to help you."

"Help me?" She looked at him, curious, as he put his hand in his pocket and held out a box to her. "What is it?"

"Take it," he commanded her, taking her hand in his and sliding the object in it. She looked around her to verify no one was spying on them and delicately opened the box. Inside were medicines with a note where she recognized Elisabeth's handwriting.

"You like it, don't you?" She claimed, a faint smile appearing on her face.

"What?"

"To break the rules. To disobey Taylor," she smiled mischievously.

"Kind of," he chuckled lightly.

Alexandra felt her heart sink at the sight of the man. He was so compassionated with her, it was tearing her apart. Without thinking, she launched her arms around his neck and hugged him. He wrapped her in his arms, responding favorably to her demand of affection.

"You're the best, Jim," she whispered in a tremble voice.

"I love you too, kid," he murmured as a father would to his child.

Alexandra felt tears coming and stopped their embrace.

"Okay, wow," she exhaled loudly. "Okay. That was…"

"Friendly," he smiled.

"Yeah," she grinned, her hand quickly brushing away a tear on her cheek.

"Let's have another drink before I go home."

"Wow, Jim, I'm not often shocked, but right now, I'm totally flabbergasted!" She laughed.

"There are many things you don't know about me," he smirked maliciously.

"I bet I don't," she smiled warmly too. They both ordered a second drink and drank it straight.

"You know, everybody thinks I'm losing my mind," Alexandra said with a grimace as the alcohol was burning her throat. "But at the contrary, I've never been so sure of what I wanted. It´s like they don't know me anymore."

"Or maybe you're not totally yourself anymore. Maybe you should be more yourself. I'm sure you're capable of it, aren't you?"

"I'm not sure. Things tend to go from bad to worse."

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. Trust me on that," he affirmed. "Be yourself and you'll see, it's gonna be easier," he said, squeezing her shoulder lightly. "I better go back to work!"

Boylan waited for Jim to be gone before coming back to her.

"Alright?"

"I'm not really sure… Do you know this strange feeling, when everything you do seems wrong, but you're sure you're right? I know I'm right, I made decisions and I pay for their consequences. It's normal to accept that, isn't it? I mean, it's rational, right?"

"Is it to be rational or to be stubborn?" He inquired, the corners of his mouth kicking up a bit.

"I'm not stubborn!" She said, almost offended. He chuckled at her response and her cheeks blushed in shame. "I mean, I know I can be stubborn, but... It's just that... I'm just..."

"Not totally able to be yourself?"

"I can't be myself anymore. I literally can't. I'm just stuck in this other me who's angry and in pain all the time. But it's comprehensible, my life has not been easy since last year."

"Are you looking for excuses? Or is it really what you're thinking? 'Cause if you truly believe it, then don't bother defend your theory, just live with it."

"I'm not looking for lame excuses. I mean, people should know that what I've been through changed me. I can't be the one they want me to be."

"If you're so sure you're right, why waste time explaining it to the others? Why defend your point of view?"

"I don't know... I don't know what to do, Tom. There's no solution to please everyone anyway, right?"

"You could start pleasing yourself first. Then maybe everything's gonna be easier for ya."

"What could I do to make things easier?"

"I'm sure you know what you could do. You might be a little bit afraid to do it though."

"What should I do? Tell me," she asked honestly.

"Be yourself," he shrugged.

"And all of my problems will magically disappear?" She mocked.

"Na, but you'll feel better."

"So... Be me again, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Just me and myself, all in one?"

"Exactly."

"Let's do it then," she encouraged herself, some kind of unknown force appearing from deep inside her.

"That's my girl!" He shouted, slapping her shoulder roughly. "Let's drink to that!"

They both drank many drinks, chatting like old friends, talking about important things and totally useless things. It was just the good moment Alexandra needed. It made her feel better. It made her feel alive again, normal again.

"Oh, oh," Boylan interrupted their conversation, nodding in the entrance's direction. "Someone's coming."

"It's bloody annoying, isn't it? We can't be left alone for a sec, can we?"

"I think this person might disagree with you."

Alexandra turned on her seat and saw Lucas coming to the bar.

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" He affirmed, concerned.

"Obviously not everywhere," she smiled. "Maybe you should have used that famous beacon!" She said, holding her wrist in the air as a trophy.

"Obviously," he repeated, his eyes narrowing on her. "I've talked to Elisabeth."

"Should I be jealous to see that you call Dr. Shannon, Elisabeth?" She taunted him.

"She told me about this morning," he said, not playing her game.

"She did, didn't she?" She giggled.

"She did... Are you alright ?"

"Yeaaaaah, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I'm having a good time with my friend Tom."

Lucas looked at Boylan with a perplex face.

"Are you drunk?"

"Nooooo! It would be bad, wouldn't it!"

"I guess…"

"Do you want a drink?" Alexandra asked eagerly.

"Like… Alcohol?"

"Yeah, definitely like alcohol!" She laughed.

"I don't know, you look already drunk for two, don't you?"

"Naaaaa! Come on Lucas!" She said, putting her arms around his neck. "When was the last time you had fun? Huh? I mean, real fun?" She asked. He made a face and she pouted. "Come on lover boy," she whispered, before kissing him hungrily, her tongue licking his bottom lip, exciting him. "Don't you want to have fun with me?"

"Okay," he moaned under her lips. "Just one drink."

An hour later, they were still at the bar with Tom. Lucas had not emptied his first glass yet, not like Alexandra who had continued to drink. She was doing a real show in front them, dancing, laughing, telling stupid stories she knew. She seemed to have fun and, for the first time in a long time, Lucas did have fun too.

"Hey, Lieutenant!" Boylan welcomed Damon loudly. "What can I do for ya?"

"Heyyyyy! Damon! Yeah, my sweeeet Damon!" Alexandra shrieked. "Come here!"

"So this is how you planned to use my money?" Damon scowled at her.

"So you did eventually notice it had disappeared, didn't you?" She mocked, narrowing her eyes on him. She had difficulties to stay still. She was glad the bar was there to hold her upright.

"That was a lot of money Alex," he sighed. "How could I not notice?"

"Dunno," she answered, suppressing a laugh at the sound of her drunken voice.

"You didn't have to steal it. You could have asked, I would have given it to you."

"Where would have been the fun in that?" She said, bemused. "I'll give it back to you." Damon opened his mouth to reply but she cut him. "Oops! No, I'm sorry, I won't," she said, making a face like she was sorry. "Because I won't have the time to refund you. You know, I'm gonna die somehow," she explained to him as if he was a stupid person.

Damon looked at her, bewildered. How could she joke about this? Surely, she was crossed enough against him to say this kind of things. He shook his head in disappointment.

"Let's not go there. I'll see you later... When you're sober."

"Damon, don't go," she said as she ran in front of him and stopped him. "Have a drink with me!"

"I think I'll pass."

"Don't pout love!"

"What are you doing?" He frowned.

"I'm asking my best friend to drink with me?" She guessed, the corners of her mouth slowly kicking up.

"Best friends, huh?"

"Best friends," she stated.

Damon looked at her, wondering what he should do. Part of him wanted to stay with her, even if it meant tolerate Lucas around. The other part of him wanted to follow the Commander's orders and leave her alone.

"Drink with me Damon, like old times," she said seriously, her shiny eyes begging him to stay. He exhaled loudly and eventually gave her a small smile.

"What are we celebrating?"

"Me! And… My love for you! And, hmmm… Your love for me!"

"Tom, a whisky please," Damon ordered as he sat to the bar.

"Yippee!" Alexandra screamed hysterically, clapping her hands in excitement. "I've got my two favorite lovers with me!"

Damon looked at Lucas who shrugged with a mocking smile in response. Damon didn't stay too long alone with Lucas and Alexandra. Maddy, Mark, Skye and Josh had needed to free their mind a bit after how horrible the last two days had been. When they entered the bar, they didn't have the time to react that Alexandra was already screaming their names.

"Maddy! Mark! Oh and Josh and Skye! Fantastic! Come on everyone! Have a drink, it's on Damon!"

Josh glanced to Damon who frowned.

"Still kleptomaniac?" he asked Damon, arching his eyebrows.

"As you can see, there's no cure for that either," Alexandra beamed, grabbing Josh's arm and pulling him with her to the bar.

"I won't drink," Maddy informed everyone. She was so surprised by Alexandra's attitude that she had been caught off guard.

"Maddy, have a drink! Pleeease!" When Alexandra met Mark's glare, she felt the need to add, "Without alcohol, it's fine too. Anyway, you're too young. Tom, a juice for the lady!"

"What's goin' on here?" Maddy asked Damon.

"I don't know. I think we lost her," he stated, half amused, half perplex.

"Aren't we supposed to ignore her?" Mark inquired.

"Yeah, and I mean, she shouldn't drink, should she?" Maddy whispered.

"Come on, she just wants to have fun," Josh nudged his sister.

"I don't mind having fun," Skye smiled, taking the glass Josh was holding out to her. "It's been a long time."

Once everyone had a glass in their hands, Alexandra walked in front of her friends, clapping her hands.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement to make," she yelled loudly. "As I've got all of my friends here. There you go, here, my best friend ever," she pointed her finger to Damon. "My super sister, her brilliant boyfriend," she winked at Mark. "Her stupid sometimes, but likable, brother and his ex and now girlfriend again," she chuckled. "And of course, the last but not the least, my fierce lovely love!" She threw her arms around Lucas' neck and kissed him greedily, until Damon cleared his throat.

"We are listening," he reminded her. Without conviction, she stopped their kiss and looked at Lucas with a devilish smile. His eyes were burning with desire and it was hard for him to let her stop. She gave him one last quick kiss before turning back to face the others.

"Yeah, sorry. So, you know what? I need to tell you that you've all been really annoying lately, like _annoyingly _annoying," she said with a high voice, exaggerating her annoyance. "But… I know it's because you love me. And guess what? I still love you! I looove you all. And I think you need to know that." They were all staring at her, totally perplexed by her change of mood. "Hones', I love you guys, all of you, even if you hate me right now, I still love you all because… Well, because you're all I've got."

She felt her heart sink at her last sentence, sobering her up too quickly for her taste. But she didn't let the others see it and smiled instead. She could see their worried eyes all locked on her.

"And I'm not saying that because I'm drunk. It's just that, sometimes, things need to be said... Said aloud to the people who are concerned."

"So, let's cheer to our wonderful love for each other then!" Josh smiled, rescuing her.

"To our love," they all shouted forcefully.

"Except for him," Lucas added with a movement of his chin toward Damon.

Mark choked on his sip, making funny noise, and started coughing.

"You're such a wimp," Lucas mocked Mark.

"Don't laugh too much tiny Taylor," Alexandra warned him. "Do you really think I haven't noticed that you were faking to drink your whisky since the beginning?" Mark laughed at Alexandra's remark and Lucas' eyes narrowed on him in menace. "Now, you're gonna drink for real," she added, putting more whisky in his glass. "Go on, one shot straight."

"Alex…"

"Now," she said, crossing her arms on her chest, waiting. Lucas sighed but obediently drank his whisky in one go.

"See, easy," he smiled to Mark.

"Years of alcoholism must have helped a bit," Josh taunted him.

"Indeed young Shannon. Wanna play?" He challenged him.

"Josh!" Skye warned him with widen eyes.

"I like challenges," Josh grinned cockily.

"What if he wins," Skye murmured to his ear.

"Life's just too damn short for ifs and maybes. I don't mind having fun, you said it yourself," he winked.

"Russian roulette is not the same without a gun my dear sister," Lucas sent a playful smirk to Skye as he put six shots of whisky in front of him. "Come on, Shannon, let's see what you've got." Then he turned to Damon with an arrogant challenging grin. "Joining us, Lieutenant?"

"Why not?" He smirked. "Maybe I can teach few things to the young boys that you both are."

"Here it starts to be interesting!" Lucas greeted.

"They are so silly," Maddy sighed. "I'm glad you're not like them," she pointed out to Mark who smiled proudly in response.

Except for Maddy and Mark, they all carried on drinking and teasing each other, challenging each other to drink more or to accept bets even more ridiculous. Josh ended up topless handstands against the bar for 2 minutes. Damon had to run to the door 20 times in less than a minute. As he had already drunk a lot, he stumbled against a chair and lost the bet. He had to drink three glasses in punishment. As for Lucas, he won all the time, to the dismay of Damon and Josh, who suspected him of cheating.

Around one o'clock in the morning, Maddy and Mark helped Josh and Skye to go back home. Damon assured everyone he could walk back home alone but fell asleep on a chair. Lucas and Alexandra thanked Boylan for the nice evening and staggered back home.

Alexandra was laughing so much she couldn't breathe. She eventually fell down and Lucas tried to pick her up but fell with her, alcohol not helping. They laid on the ground, guffawing.

"Shhhh… We don't want to awake the neighbors, do we?" She giggled, climbing on him and putting her hands on his lips.

"Oh nooooo we don't want that," he chuckled. She hardly stood up and tried to pull Lucas up. His weight was too heavy for her and they eventually both fell down again and laughed very loudly even if they thought it was quiet.

Lucas was too drunk to care. He would have plenty of time to think about the consequences tomorrow. He looked at her and noticed she was sensually biting her bottom lips, her face very suggestive on what was on her mind.

"You said you wanted to show me something," she said in a seductive tone. A wide grin appeared on his face and in a second, he swung her in his arms and carried her to a dark alley. All his senses were suddenly awakened. He pushed her hard against a wall and started kissing her hungrily, while his hands reached for her bottom and lifted her up. She surrounded his waist with her legs in response, moaning in pleasure when her body gained contact with his hard length. Their movements increased and got erratic, leaving them soon breathless.

"I want you," he said in a raspy voice. "I want you now."

"Take me now then," she panted, totally in trance, totally unaware of what was surrounding them. They were in their own world. It was just them, just the two of them and they would make the most of it.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

_"Tonight, my head is spinning. I need something to pick me up. I've tried but nothing is working. I won't stop. I won't say I've had enough. Tonight, I start the fire. Tonight, I break away. Break away from everybody. Break away from everything. If you can't stand the way this place is, take yourself to higher places. At night I feel like a vampire. It's not right. I just can't give it up. I'll try to get myself higher. Let's go. We're going to light it up. Tonight we start the fire. Tonight we break away." Break - Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>So? Few drinks and everything seems better? I bet they relaxed a bit! Now, I guess reality is gonna slap them in the face tomorrow. Until then, time off for them!<p> 


	69. Because of you

Hi everyone, here is chapter 69 (at last!)! I hope you'll like it.

I just take a little time to thank LucyRider17 who reviews every chapter: thank you so much! You're very sweet! Also, I'd like to welcome lizDegna who just started to read the fic and seems to enjoy the story! And eventually, I'd like to thank abbieseal for her last, long and amazing review. It was a really really good surprise to read your comment. You guys are awesome! Reviews are always welcomed. It inspires me!

That said, enjoy this chapter!

**Because of you**

Alexandra woke up with a huge hangover, her mouth drier than ever. She turned on the side to bury her head in her pillow, grumbling. But she stopped dead when she smelt Lucas' scent on it. She forced her eyes to open and looked around her. He was gone. Or at least, he was not there anymore. She tried to recall her last night but all her memory was a blur. She was drunk, that she was sure about. Her aching head proving it.

She glanced under the sheets and exhaled loudly when she noticed she was naked. She let her head fall back on the mattress, annoyed. She had obviously slept with Lucas, _again_. She groaned in frustration. She had no will at all. She glanced to her clock and moaned, even more frustrated. It was eleven already.

"Shit…" She sighed. She managed to roll to the side of the bed and sit, rubbing her eyes with both hands. Last night had been a stupid act. But it had done well on her. Alcohol had made her insensitive and all the pain she had, had flush away during a moment. Now the agreeable effects of the dizziness were gone and she couldn't feel worse. Nausea, as usual, was threatening her. Alcohol, sickness, maybe both. She didn't have much time to wonder about it and ran to the toilets to throw up everything she had in her stomach.

Sat between the toilets and the shower, she tried to calm down. Once she felt better, she brushed her teeth and took a quick shower. She grabbed a pair of dark trousers and a green tee-shirt and dressed up. She went to the living room and found no trace of Lucas. She stopped to think where he could be and her eyes darted to the counter in the kitchen were a note was. Alexandra chuckled lightly when she read what was written on it.

'_I had to leave for a summit meeting with my dear father... I rejoin you as soon as possible. Do not do anything silly while I'm away or I'll kill you myself, this is a promise. Lucas.'_

"Lucas and his sarcastic comments," she smiled to herself. "Anyway, I won't wait for you forever love," she added before putting her shoes on and heading outside. She didn't have to think too much where she wanted to go. Boylan's bar was the shelter she needed.

Boylan scanned the girl from head to toe when she entered the room. Her trousers seemed too big for her and it made her skinnier than he remembered. Her face was pale, despite the fact that she was constantly in the sun outside. Not only one night out, like the one last night, could have made violet marks under her eyes like it was right now. Tom knew she was sick. He just didn't know how bad it was. Only now he wondered if he had underestimated her state. Maybe it was worse than he had thought.

"Hey ! Sleep well?" He mocked her.

"Like a baby," she grinned.

"You came for the second round?" He beamed, his mocking eyes shining with mischief.

"It sounds tempting, but I think I'll pass this time. Too many collateral damages," she grimaced.

"Water?"

"Thanks."

Alexandra emptied the glass quickly. The cold water was doing good on her. Alcohol had always side effects, especially a dry mouth.

"Tom…"

"Yep?"

"Do you think…" She started to ask. Her eyes were on the bar, staring at her fingers as they were tracing patterns on the counter. "Do you think someone can stay who he is, I mean who he really is, all his life?" As Boylan didn't answer, she looked up and saw he was smiling at her. "What?"

"What is it that ya really wanna tell me?"

"I know you know a lot of things Tom. Most of them you shouldn't know," she chuckled. "You know me, right? You know my story. I've never had to tell you." He nodded in agreement. Of course, he knew almost everything. That was one of the good consequences of being a bartender. "I don't wanna them to think they have changed me. I don't want them to think they have me, that they own me. I'm not a piece in their game. I am the one who decides what I want to be. I want to be me." Boylan didn't ask her who '_them'_ were. It didn't matter. It was clearly not the most important part of her talk.

"What do you really wanna know girl?"

"Do you think that no matter what happen in our life we can keep to who we are?"

"I think so, yes."

"'Cause… There are some wounds that just can't mend, I do pretend, pretend I am free from all the bad things that happened. But it's printed in my memory. I don't want anyone to change me into someone I'm not. I want to be me… Until the end, you know."

"Sound a little bit sad, don't ya? Is there something you wanna share with old uncle Tom?" He grinned widely to her, but she could see how serious he was. "I'm good when it comes to listen ya know!"

"Yeah… I know. Thanks."

"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart only to be replaced by better things."

"I wish you were right, Tom."

"Alex, you don't have to worry. You still are who you really are."

"I'm not so sure anymore."

"I know you've got the feeling you've been different lately. But you don't see yourself clearly. If you're looking for a proof, think about yesterday."

"I don't think it's a good thing if I'm myself when I'm drunk only," she grinned truthfully.

"See! You still smile so easily, it is always an honest smile that charms everyone. Your eyes sparkle with life and mischief. When you come into a room everyone hooks you at a glance. You are an accessible person and even if you say you do not like people, we both know that's not true. That's only to protect yourself from being hurt. I can assure you, you are still yourself. Stay as you are, you're perfect this way."

"Thank you Tom," she smiled sheepishly. Then a red light started to lighten in the bar. "What is it?" She asked, worried.

"Ah that… Taylor has installed them everywhere few months ago. When they turn on, we must gather in front of the headquarters."

"A little bit gushy, no?"

"Yeah, he probably wants to talk to us. Come on, let's go and find out!" He smiled.

"I might stay here."

"Come on cheeky girl, Daddy wants you out!" He laughed, putting his arm around her waist and pushing her outside with him.

Tom and Alexandra arrived in front of the headquarters where hundreds of people were gathered. They stayed back from the crowd, near a unit, waiting. On the balcony, Taylor arrived, surrounded by Jim, Damon and Lucas. Alexandra's heart tightened at their sight. So that was the famous summit Lucas was talking about. What were they doing? What kind of announcement needed to gather everyone?

Taylor held his hands up to ask everyone's attention. When the silence had installed, he started to speak, his voice solemn and his icy gaze deeply serious.

"People of Terra Nova, I'm not going to waste time and maintain the suspense about why I have asked you to come here today. It has been confirmed that we are going to be attacked soon," he claimed. Some murmurs started to grow into the crowd in reaction to his statement. Taylor held his hands in the air again to calm them. "We have collected information that proves that we are going to be attack. Unfortunately, we can't know exactly when this is going to happen. This is why I want you to be strong. I know I have already asked you a lot, but this is going to be war, and I need you to be prepared."

"What a bunch of scumbags!" Alexandra heard a man growled in front of her.

"I told you so!" Another one replied. "They think we are stupid or what? All this to keep us under his command, as a well-behaved dog."

"It's been a year now since he told us to be careful. And now the threat is on again but he still doesn't know when these bastards are gonna come. Bloody Taylor, his glorious days are long gone," an older one sighed.

"Gentlemen, ladies are here. Maybe you should behave yourself," Tom suddenly warned the men.

The three men turned to look at him and noticed that Alexandra was glaring at them. She had not realized she was staring at them angrily until she met their disturbed faces.

"Sorry miss," the oldest one said, turning his attention back to the balcony, imitated by the two others.

"Alright, Alex?" Tom asked, concerned.

"Yeah."

"Don't listen to them. They know nothing."

She nodded in agreement but their conversation was repeating in her mind. The fact that they didn't believe in Taylor anymore was disturbing her. She had doubted him too in the past. But she knew he was a good man. There was a leader in him and he would always take the right decision for his people. Obviously, the last year had not been as easy as Alexandra had thought. The Terra Novan looked in good health, but mentally, they were knackered. Exhausted to live in fear, tired of waiting for an enemy that never came. Doubts about Taylor's credibility had started to grow inside them, it was evident now.

"We are not soldiers, Taylor!" A woman yelled.

"She's right, we didn't sign for this!" Another man added.

"I know you have already endured a lot. I know you are angry. This situation is complicated. But you need to comprehend the difficulty of it. This threat is real and we need to be ready to face it, all of us."

"How do you know it's not a trap? Your son betrayed you in the past. We already had to rebuild the colony after he and his men destroyed it. How do you know this time is different?"

Alexandra looked at Lucas who stayed emotionless. Actually, his eyes were shining with laughter and his lips were in a thin line, as if he was trying not to smile proudly. He had never shown regret about attacking the colony, he was not going to have some now. He would have probably replied to this man's insinuation if the entire colony was not listening right now. For sure, he would have given him a quick and sarcastic response.

"As the commander of this colony and with all the authority and power that it gives me, I can assure you that I am not lying. This has nothing to do with my son, nor the Sixers, nor the Phoenix group. This time is different. This time, the danger is coming from the future. We are their only exit door. They want to save their lives in detriment of ours. In the world we left behind, I watched as crap went on and people get hurt, but some of us have to stand up. With or without recognition I will use everything I have to protect those that can't protect themselves, to protect the ones I love."

"You just react as a kid who wants to play war. This isn't a game, this is our life!"

Taylor frowned at the man's comment. How could he believe him so egoist that he would put them in danger just to have fun?

"I am very sorry to hear you think that of me. But I am going to be clear right now, this is _not_ an option. Whether you like it or not, there is going to be a fight. And when it will happen, we will be ready. I won't allow anyone to destroy what we took time to create."

"How can we prepare a fight we don't know when it will happen? This is nonsense! There must be a way to avoid this!"

"We tried to figure out another solution, but there is none."

"Liar!" A man in his forties shouted, a worried woman, who was probably his wife, gripping his arm, begging him to keep quiet.

Alexandra had not expected them to react that way. She wanted them to understand the danger that was coming. They could be worried, it was comprehensible. But they should want to fight for their home. They should want to fight for their life. Why were they angry with Taylor? He had done nothing wrong. She closed her eyes and shook her head with annoyance. This man was wrong, but his perseverance and his attitude were going to convince the others to believe him.

"He is right! You already told us to prepare ourselves a year ago and nothing happened! You're a liar!"

"He's not a liar!" A woman claimed loudly, silencing the crowd.

Taylor looked where the voice had come and found Alexandra, confused. She had not realized it was her own voice which had yelled until every eye was on her. She had not thought when she had spoken. The words had come out without waiting for her brain to allow it or restrain it. Now, she was regretting it as everyone was staring at her. She was not regretting what she had said, because she believed it. No, she was regretting she had said it aloud.

"And how would you know that?" The married man said angrily as he stepped to her. She quickly stepped back in reflex, surprised by the man's temper. Her eyes went down her leg, ready to grab her knife in case the man came too close.

"I asked you a question," he insisted.

Alexandra glanced quickly to the balcony as she spotted a movement there and saw Lucas ready to jump down in case she needed help. She shook her head slowly from side to side to show him she was handling the situation and she put her gaze back on the man.

"He gave you a second chance! He gave you the opportunity to start over, to change your life, to be better people. Why would he lie to you now?"

Whispers started to fill the place again. As the man in front of her seemed speechless, Alexandra made a decision. She was the first to claim for the truth, the one who refused to stay in the dark, the one who said that lies brought troubles only. She had to tell them the truth. They were going to die, all of them, if they didn't have a plan. She ran upstairs and stepped next to Taylor, looking at the people down there.

"People of Terra Nova, some of you might know me as the French girl from 2012. Some of you might know me as the soldier from the market. Some of you might know me as Taylor's son's girlfriend. Or maybe some of you just know me for the party in my name last week. Some of you know me very well and some of you have probably never heard of me. My name is Alexandra Paris and I am one of yours. I am a Terra Novan and I'm proud of it. This place is my home as much as yours and I will defend it from anyone who threatens to destroy it. I'm not a liar. He's not a liar," she affirmed, pointing her finger in Taylor's direction. "You should trust Taylor when he says that what we are going to face is gonna be decisive for Terra Nova, for your home, our home. This is the day you decide to fight for your freedom, for this second chance he gave you. Today is the day you decide if you wanna fight for your life or die as martyrs. Because let's face it, there will be no mercy. Nobody will be spared. Not your wives, nor your children. A war is growing up and we must prepare ourselves to win it. Because we can win, we really can. But we have to stick together to succeed. We have to prepare ourselves and above all, we have to believe in each other."

"How can you be so sure?" A woman with grey hair asked skeptically. "How can you know what is going to happen? You're not a medium!"

"I'm sure of myself because I know the man who's gonna lead the troops. Because I know this man is never gonna stop until he reaps this place apart. He's never gonna stop until he finds what he's looking for. And if I'm so sure of what this man is capable of, it's only because I know him for a long time. Because I already fought with him. Because he is my father." An heavy silence followed that confession, then murmurs started to raise from the civilians. "This man will come and destroy this place. He will do it and have no regret, because this man is… heartless."

Only now she realized how evil her father was. She knew they were different, but she had never really thought that they were actually opposite. He had always mocked her heart and she had lied to herself thinking he had one. She had known for a long time that he was heartless, she had just never put a word on it.

"So this is all your fault if he's coming here! He's coming for you!" A man shouted from behind.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Jim intervened. "She has nothing to do with that. She's a victim, just like all of us."

"No! This man he's right," Alexandra stopped him. "You're right," she said, looking straight to the man. "I failed. My plan was to protect you all from the future. I should have ended it there, but I didn't have the time to finish what I've started."

"You didn't succeed back there. How could we succeed here?"

"Their only power over us is the surprise. We are stronger than them. We are better than them. And above all, we have insiders with them. We are not alone."

Alexandra felt everyone around her stiffen at her statement. It was true that she had never really told them that she had insiders in her father's army. She had mentioned she had started a tiny revolution with Sean but they probably had never thought she had other friends to help her. Only now she realized she had not said everything about her life back then. It was really time to tell everyone the whole truth.

"Are you going to fight them?" The woman inquired. Alexandra felt Damon and Lucas' eyes boring into her, waiting for her answer. They were eager to know if she was going to fight or not. Not only for her life, but for staying alive. She had to choose the good words for her response. She would not lie in front of so many people.

"I'll fight as long as I can to protect this colony. As long as I stand, I'll defend Terra Nova. And I know you'll do the same. All of you. Because you are fighters. You are here because you are the bravest. You are the most courageous people I know. You left your life behind to start a new one here. You wanted to be here. You were ready to fight for it and you're still ready to fight for it. I'd rather die today than stay here and wait for them to come and rape this place apart."

"We can't think like you! We've got family to protect, children! We can't risk to die," a young woman with two kids in her arms stated.

"We are talking about the fate of the human race here," Taylor said. "If you were in my place, would you bow? Would you let those people come here, in Terra Nova, our home, and let them do what they did to the Earth we left behind? Or would you fight?"

"You want to protect your kids? Then fight for them! If you don't, they won't have any future," Jim confirmed.

"I can promise you something," Taylor continued. "If we stay together, we will win. We are going to win this war. You are the resistance. Fight for your future, rise for your freedom."

"If you want to stay here, you have a decision to make. Sometimes is just easier to let things fall apart. But I dare you to choose the easy way out," Alexandra challenged them.

"I'm with the girl," Boylan said loudly. Alexandra searched him in the crowd and spotted him, arms folded on his chest, leaning against a house. He winked at her and she felt a smile spreading on her face.

"You can count on me," Josh shouted from behind.

"Me too," a female voice said. Alexandra found Skye had stepped in front of the people.

"Count me in too," another girl voice said. Alexandra was surprised to see Trinity stepped next to Skye, soon followed by Elisabeth, Maddy, Hunter, Tasha, Reilly, Dunham... And people Alexandra didn't even know.

"We won't leave! We won't go anywhere. This is our home and we're gonna fight for it," the young woman said, her eyes shining with tears, but determined.

Alexandra felt Lucas stepped next to her and put his right hand on her left shoulder, squeezing it lightly, proving her he was right here with her, supporting her.

Alexandra felt a wave of hope fill her body. She suddenly felt proud. Proud of Terra Nova, proud of its people, proud of their bravery and their determination to defend their home. She felt proud to be on their side, proud to fight on the good side, the side of the good guys. She took a deep breath and straightened up facing the crowd, feeling strangely proud of her too.

"She has no idea of the effect she can have on people," Taylor whispered to Jim.

"She's a survivor and people are willing to help her. They'll fight with her."

"Let's start the preparation," Taylor declared with intensity to his people.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

"_Do you think about everything you've been through? You never thought you'd be so depressed. Are you wondering, is it life or death? Do you think that there's no one like you? We are, we are, we are, we are the ones. We get knocked down. We get back up and stand above the crowd. […] The life I think about is so much better than this. I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess. I'm sick of wondering, is it life or death? I need to figure out who's behind me." One X – Three Days Grace_


	70. Change the past Change the future

Thanks everyone for your last reviews!

I'm proud to announce that my story is apparently so good that lizDegna read it in a few days only and decided it was worth being translate in german! It's definitely gonna be an international story!

Anyway, here's the new chapter you've been waiting for. Have a nice read and above all, let me know what you think by leaving a review!

* * *

><p><strong>Change the past change the future<strong>

Three days after Taylor's speech, people were still filled with hope about their future. They had decided they would fight for a good cause: the human race, their race.

Alexandra's health was getting worse every day. She had showed symptoms of aggravated weakness the night that had followed her declaration. Even if she was clearly in a bad shape, she had refused to go to the infirmary, and Lucas had selfishly accepted her to stay at home with him. His argument was that people would be worried to see her infected whereas she had promised them she would fight. In reality, he was too much afraid to lose her.

Dr. Shannon had taken the habit to come three times a day to check on her. This morning was not an exception. She was ready to knock at the door when it swung open. She stepped back in surprise and frowned at Lucas' face. He looked tired and worry seemed to consume him.

"Elisabeth," he nodded. "She's asleep," he pointed out, tilting his head in their bedroom's direction. Elisabeth understood immediately why he had prevented her to knock, he didn't want to awake her.

"Is she in pain?"

"She doesn't say. She swears she's fine. But I can see her grimace when she thinks I can't see."

"And, otherwise, how is she?"

"Almost normal."

"Still tired?"

"She doesn't want to stay in bed. We're lucky she is now."

"She needs to rest."

"Yeah, tell her that," he chuckled. "I think she's afraid to die in her sleep," he said more seriously.

"It's just psychological. She can sleep, physically she can."

"No, it's neurologic. Her sickness is aggravating and it changes her perception of life."

"Lucas, you know how deep mind troubles can be," Elisabeth reminded him. "Even someone as strong as her can lose it…"

"She's not going into depression," Lucas denied, knowing what Elisabeth had implied.

"Lucas, she's waiting for death to come and take her away. Of course she's depressed."

"She's ill, that's all," he sighed. "She can't jump in the air with happiness, can she?"

"She does not even consider the idea that she could be saved! She's gone so far in her reflection that she can't see any other way out."

"There's a solution. She knows it. She just needs to accept it."

"She doesn't have the time to think about that option."

"I know," he whispered witheringly. "I don't need you to remind me."

"Then what are you waiting for? Why are you waiting for her approval?"

"I won't hurt her."

"It had never been a problem for you before," Dr. Shannon challenged him. Lucas examined her face with a strange expression.

"That's a low move Doc, I never expected it from you. What is it?"

"You need to do what's best and you know it. With or without her approval."

"I won't wait for her decision."

"Lucas, I really think she's in depression. I mean, it´s obvious she kept her distress secret for too long. Having you back in her life should make her happy, but in her case, it makes her sadder because she's still dying from an incurable disease. It tears her heart apart to know she's going to lose you again. Actually, I even think that what really makes her sad is to know you're going to lose her again. She feels guilty to hurt you again. That is why she can't really appreciate it. I'm sorry to tell you that being with you is not helping her."

"I take that risk. She wants to stay at home. I won't force her to go to the infirmary."

"You're as stubborn as her!"

"I agree with you," he retorted. "Do you have the pills I asked you for or not?"

"Here," she sighed, holding him a bag with medicine in it. "I hope you know what you're doing," she added before walking back to the front door and left.

Lucas walked to their bedroom and found Alexandra leant against the wall, her eyes staring away through the window.

"Alright?"

"Yeah," she forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"You tend to lie saying that you're fine whereas you're not," he smiled sadly as he walked to her and took her in his arms, her back against his chest. He looked away in the same direction she was and started to rock her gently. "Elisabeth just left."

"How is she?" She asked absentmindedly. Her question made Lucas chuckled.

"She's concerned," he murmured into her ear. "As we all are."

"You shouldn't. I'm okay," she replied, turning her head to face him. "Perfectly okay."

Lucas stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face and eventually came closer to kiss her gently.

"You should get some rest," he declared in an almost commanding tone.

"I'm not tired."

"Alex…"

"And even if I was, I couldn't sleep. My head is always on, I can't turn it off."

"Elisabeth brought this," he said, showing her a bottle of pills.

"I don't want to take those pills."

"Why not?"

"They make me feel dizzy and everything is foggy."

"You seemed fine last time… Wait a minute, have you even taken the ones I gave you last time?" He asked, exasperation evident in his tone.

"Of course," she shrugged innocently.

"You swallow two of them and you'll see, you'll sleep."

"I doubt that," she mumbled as Lucas put the two pills in her hand.

"Go on, in your mouth."

Alexandra obediently put them in her mouth and swallowed them. Lucas seemed to be waiting for something and Alexandra eventually understood he was doubting she had really taken them.

"Really?" She asked in disbelief.

"Show me," he ordered her. She exhaled loudly and opened her mouth so he could check that she had nothing left in her mouth.

"Happy?"

"Elated," he drawled with a smile.

She sighed silently and turned her head back to the window, her gaze blank. Lucas wrapped her in his arms, pressing her back against his torso, breathing simultaneously, their bodies rising and falling together in unison.

"I wish that I could read your mind," he whispered into her ear. "I wish very much that I could know what was going on in your head so I could help you."

"You are helping," she swore, putting her hands on his forearms, squeezing it lightly. "You are."

Ten minutes later, Alexandra couldn't fight anymore and fall asleep. Lucas laid her on the bed and gently put a blanket over her. She seemed so peaceful when she was asleep, it was almost making him forget her sickness.

Lucas was glad Elisabeth's medicine had worked quickly. The minute Alexandra had fallen to sleep, was the exact same minute Damon, Thomas, Skye and Josh were at the door. He had arranged a secret meeting with them to discuss a plan to save Alexandra. He had always felt better on his own to think and elaborate theories. But here, he had no time left for that. To invite them could be helpful. Actually, he hoped their silly ideas would help him to find the good one. It was always easier to criticize stupid propositions, but it could lead you to something you had not expected.

"Maybe we could avoid her father abducting her?" Josh guessed again for the third time, making Lucas glare at him with disdain. His proposals were each sillier than the one before, and Lucas began to regret inviting him.

"Are you stupid? We can't do that. We have no idea what consequences this could have on this actual time. We can't meet ourselves, we must not interfere with our past," Thomas scolded him.

"Yeah, you might as well just go and kill her parents before they even invented the portal," Damon mocked. Lucas smiled at Damon's comment. How many times he had thought about travelling to the day his mother had died and kill those bastards before they even touch her? He wanted so much to do it, but even at that time, he knew he shouldn't do it. It would have destroyed everything, creating a time fracture too big to handle, the world would have been upside down and they would have all ended crush between the two worlds. He knew it was not that easy. "We could go and save her before she's infected?" Damon wondered.

"And then what? We bring her back here and we have two of her?" Lucas scoffed.

"Yes, you should do that," a weak but firm voice said behind them.

"Alex, you should be in bed," Lucas sighed, very concerned. He walked to her as she struggled to stay standing. He put his arm around her waist, helping her to go and sit on a chair. He kneeled in front of her to face her.

"If you save me before I'm poisoned, I won't come back here. It was not my plan to come here, remember? If I'm not ill, I will not jump in the portal to save my life and I will stay in 2150. If you save me before I'm infected, I won't exist here. You'll have a healthy me."

"Your mind is running wild again! I won't bring the old you back here. It's complete nonsense!"

"Lucas, I don't like the idea of having me, not knowing what happened, but it's for the best."

"And so what? Huh? I bring her back and… and you die? No way."

"You don't bring _her _back, you bring _me _back."

"Not a solution."

"I'll explain to her what happened, I'll explain to the past me what happened and she'll understand, I'll understand because I know I would."

"And she will see the future her dying? Or maybe worse? Do you think about the consequences?"

"I do," she said honestly. "I'm afraid, ok? I really am. And I don't want to imagine me not remembering everything I've been through 'cause this is who I am. My past made me, made the woman I am now and I don't want to forget it. And I don't like the idea of you, knowing what has happened and keeping it from her. But this is the best solution if you want me to stay with you. Because I'm dying. Actually, I'm already dead. I died the day I decided to fight with my father. I made my own decision."

Lucas felt pain and anger flood through him as he imagined all that the woman he loved had endured in her life. But until he finds out how to create this portal, his chances of succeeding in his task were slim. And his biggest problem was admitting that maybe he couldn't do it.

"No. I won't do that. You won't force me to do that. It's you that I want. It's you that we need to save."

"It's gonna be me," she winced in pain. She was so afraid of this plan, but yet it was the best solution. She would die to save herself, how ironic was that?

Lucas knew it would not be her, it would be different. He was in love with her the way she was now. He didn't want a lie.

"I'll tell you when and where exactly to find me. I'll write a letter, you'll give it to her… to me, and I'll believe you and I'll come back with you."

"You are stronger than that. You are a survivor, you'll make through this. I'll find a better plan."

"You've already found the best one."

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself over and over again! Stop it!" He suddenly yelled in anger. "Stop being so selfish! It's my turn to be selfish and I want you. The one you are now."

"This one is broken Lucas…" She whined, tears threatening to flood her eyes. It was really strange to say it. Deep down, she felt jealous. Being jealous of herself, how would that make her to be? She chuckled lightly at her internal joke. She had to stop thinking about everything that this mission was implying, it was painful and it was giving her as much a headache as it was giving her a heartache. She couldn't stop them from trying to save her, she knew it now. But it didn't help her to agree. She was still thinking it was a waste of time.

"NO!" He cut her off. "No, no, no. I said no!" He shouted furiously as he stood up and walked to the corner of the room, his hands clenching into fists.

"Lucas…"

"No."

"Lucas!"

"No! I won't leave you, I won't."

Alexandra froze, shocked by so much anger. It had been a long time since she had seen him in so much rage. She didn't dare say anything else, afraid to say something wrong that would made him more cross. Neither did the others, well aware they were not welcomed in this conversation. Alexandra knew it was only because he was hurt that he was acting this way, and she couldn't stop thinking that it was all her fault.

Lucas grabbed his hair with both hands in frustration, letting escape a moan of distress. Alexandra couldn't suppress a tear from running down her cheek. Lucas still had his back turned to her. She could only guess what his face looked like. Probably anger, she was almost certain. Pain, that she was sure. Lucas exhaled loudly, irritated and suddenly punched the wall, upset, leaving a big hole in it.

The violence of his attitude made Alexandra jumped in surprise and the tears that were filling her eyes ended up rolling down to her chin in a second. Lucas eventually turned back to her and his eyes widened when he saw her crying in silence, her eyes searching his. Lucas softened immediately at the sight of her.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out helplessly.

Lucas reached for her, alarmed by the intense sadness of her tone. The anguish Lucas always felt when Alexandra was in pain or in trouble surfaced instantly. It welled up in his chest and he was fighting to not let it show on his face. He embraced her and she hid her face in his chest, feeling safe into Lucas' arms.

Damon looked at the others and tilted his head to the exit. They all understood it was time for them to leave. Without a word they left Alexandra and Lucas to themselves.

"I'll always be there for you Alex. No matter how ugly or dark your feelings might be, you should not have to bear them alone. I'm here and I won't let you die."

"I know… But you have no idea what you would be taking on," she whispered sadly.

"Of course I do. Try as you might, you don't scare me. You can push me away, but I'm sorry to inform you that my love for you is unconditional. I won't let you do anything as stupid as dying." He heard her sigh in his chest. With his hands he pulled her head away from his embrace and looked intensely at her.

"Take me for a ride Lucas," she whispered, a thin smile on her face.

"What?"

"I need to breathe. I'm claustrophobic here. I need real air. I need green. I need sun."

"I can't do that Alex. You're too weak," he replied seriously.

"Just one last trip."

"Alex…"

"Humor me," she murmured in a strange tone, holding Lucas' gaze. Lucas was startled by her request and he didn't know what to think about it. He was ready to contest but she insisted. "Please."

"Where?"

"Surprise me," she forced a sad smile. Lucas didn't know how to react. Her attitude seemed fine but her eyes were betraying her pain.

"Okay," he nodded.

"Okay," she breathed.

"I'll come back with a vehicle. You stay here, okay?"

"I'll wait for you, right here," she promised. He gently kissed her and looked at her one last time, worried. "I'll stay here, I promise."

"Okay," he nodded before leaving. Even if she had sworn she would wait for him, Lucas couldn't suppress fastening his pace to come back as quickly as possible. He was really worried she would do something stupid during his absence.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Lucas' part

"_Right from the start, you were a thief. You stole my heart and I'm your willing victim. I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty. And with every touch you fixed them. Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh. Things you never say to me, oh, oh. Tell me that you've had enough of our love, our love. Just give me a reason, just a little bit enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars on our hearts. We're not broken just bent. And we can learn to love again. I'm sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming from. I thought that we were fine. Your head is running wild again. My dear we still have everythin' and it's all in your mind. You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh. You used to lie so close to me, oh, oh. There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love. […] Oh, tear ducts and rust, I'll fix it for us. We're collecting dust but our love's enough. You're holding it in. You're pouring a drink. No nothing is as bad as it seems. We'll come clean." Just Give Me A Reason" – Pink feat. Nate Ruess_


	71. Hold on

Hi everyone,

I'm really sorry I haven't update sooner but my beta was very very busy with her studies and exams so it took her a lot of time before reading it… Anyway, here is chapter 71! I hope you'll like it.

Lucas has accepted to take Alex for a ride. What's going to happen during their little trip OTG? Let's find out!

* * *

><p><strong>Hold on<strong>

When Lucas came back with a vehicle ten minutes later, Alexandra was where she had said she would be and he exhaled a sigh of relief. He helped her get into the rhino and they left the colony.

The whole way, Alexandra kept her eyes shut, smiling, as the sun rays were playing on her face, caressing her skin, warming her up. Lucas glanced at her many times to admire her. Even sick, she was beautiful. Her dark blond hair floating in the wind, reflecting the yellow of the sun, her pale skin looking ever so soft. Lucas was happy and sad at the same time. Why was everything so much harder when love was involved? Why was love making him feel so weak? Lucas thought about the last time he had driven her out. He had thought it was the last time he would ever be able to do it. He could hardly stand this, the knowledge that he would be separated again from her soon, perhaps forever. No, he wouldn't tolerate it. He would not let that happen.

"We're here," Lucas said, waking Alexandra up from her daydreaming.

She straightened from her seat and looked at what was in front of them.

"Wow, it's beautiful here," she exhaled with a smile.

"It's Palladium Valley."

The place was very bright, the stone reflecting the sun everywhere. It looked like water glistening, surrounded by colored fields.

"This is amazing," she repeated enthusiastically as she stepped out of the car.

Lucas couldn't suppress the grin that appeared on his face at the sight of her happiness. It had been a long time since he had seen her really appreciate something. In those specials moments, her face would always light up, making her eyes shinier than ever.

"Come on," he said as he grabbed her hand and led her to a meadow at the top of the hills.

They walked near the cliff and stopped there so they could admire the place. Alexandra sat between Lucas' legs and let him wrapped her in his muscular arms. They stayed a moment in silence, just enjoying the sun, the calm, each other's presence. Lucas' chin was rested on her neck while her head was tilted to the side, resting on his shoulder.

Alexandra couldn't dream about a better place to be than this one. Free, breathing the flowery air, surrounded by the wild, in her lover's arms. No, she was at the right place with the right person at the right time. If only it could stay like that forever.

After a moment of hesitation, Alexandra took a deep breath and broke the peaceful silence that had installed.

"Lucas…"

"Hmmm…"

"I…" The words didn't seem to want to get out of her mouth. She cleared her throat and started again. "I want you to be happy."

She felt Lucas stiffen behind her and it sent her heart to race.

"I am," he replied, pretending he had not understood what her comment really meant. Alexandra's heart was hammering so much that Lucas could feel it against his own chest.

"I mean… after."

"Alex, you'll make me happy in time."

"Lucas… Stop doing that please," she complained.

"Never," he smiled lightly. "Listen, I let you see the parts of me that weren't pretty and you fixed them. Now it's my turn. Give me some time to find a way to save you. Until then, keep it up, I know you can."

This time, it was Lucas who felt her froze in his arms.

"Stop lying to yourself, please."

"Did you really ask me to drive you here to talk about this?"

Alexandra didn't reply and in the space of a heartbeat, everything changed. Their peaceful moment transformed into a fight they would have not thought could happen.

"You've changed," Lucas pointed out as he drew back his arms from her and put his hands on the ground behind him. His move created a gap between the two of them and Alexandra felt her back becoming cold.

"Of course I've changed! Excuse me for being a little bit less optimistic than before. When I first met you, the only suffering I had in my life was the loss of my parents!" She replied as she stood up and walked to the cliff, keeping her back turned to him.

"And the rape," Lucas added loudly.

"And the... attack," she grumbled.

"And your parents' habit to use you as a weapon," he completed sardonically.

"And my…" This time, her voice trailed off. She knew Lucas was playing hard with her to make her react. "Still, it's nothing compare to what I've been through since I arrived here, in this jungle, in this world. I can try to be as funny as before, I can try to smile as much as before, I can try to be as gentle as before, I can try to love... But I can't be as naive as before, sorry. You can't ask me that."

Alexandra wanted so badly to be the woman she was before, but innocence was gone and what used to be right seemed wrong.

"I'm not asking you to be naïve!" Lucas snapped as he jumped on his feet and walked in front of her. "I'm asking you to fight."

"Lucas, I can't!"

"Yes, you can!"

"No! You're acting like it's my fault, like I wanted all of this to happen. It´s not my fault!"

"Because you didn't let me the choice! You have decided alone! Once again you just thought about yourself!"

"Lucas!"

"No! Have you even thought about me? It was supposed to be just the two of us. I lost you twice, I won't lose you thrice!"

"Who's the one responsible for these separations?" She answered coldly.

Lucas' face darkened and his stare ended up turning to a glare. Alexandra didn't want to hurt him but he was so stubborn that it annoyed her too much.

"You know, I've noticed something about you, Alex. You have a tendency to disappear. Consequently, I spent a lot of time looking for you. Like, _a lot_... of time."

"I didn't want you to be involved," she tried to defend herself.

"So what? You couldn't tell me?"

"I didn't want… I didn't want to put you in more trouble."

"Lame answer."

"It's the truth."

"No, it's not. The truth is you knew I would be there for you. You knew you could count on me and you preferred once again to go through it alone."

"I can feel it in my bones, straight from inside. It's eating me, burning my flesh, chewing my organs, nibbling my brain… I'm losing myself. I want it to stop."

"It will stop the day I save you."

"Do you know what it means to truly believe you're doing something to protect the others? To really believe what you're doing is the right thing to do?"

"My mother chose to spare my life, giving hers. It didn't help. It didn't protect me. All that happened was that I ended up alone. I won't let you do that."

"You should be grateful your mother did what she did. She saved your lives, she saved both of you. She sacrificed herself to protect the ones she loved."

"And you think this is what you're doing now?" He asked, his voice harsh. "You're protecting me? Us?"

Alexandra didn't know if she had the answer to this question. Maybe she had the feeling it was what she was doing, but it didn't seem right to say it aloud. She just wanted the one she loved to not worry about her.

"Worrying for me is a waste of time. It's disturbing you from preparing your defense against my father's future attack."

"I thought you wanted this trip to have some fresh air, to lighten your mood."

"I just wanted to be alone with you. I just thought we could spend some quality time together before… I mean it could be a good memory."

Lucas held his free hand to her cheek, his thumb skimming across her skin. She leaned into his touch, looking up at his face. He was struggling with something that Alexandra couldn't define. She stared at him as his eyes were off somewhere beyond her.

Thinking about Alexandra leaving him was too painful. Lucas knew it would be a thousand times worse if it actually happened. Alexandra had really changed him. He couldn't even fathom her absence in his life anymore.

"It could end here you know," she said in a murmur.

Lucas didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. He had understood what she was expecting him to do the minute they had left the colony. She wanted to die and she wanted Lucas to help her. She wanted to have a sweet death and she wanted Lucas to do it. For the first time, Lucas was depressed to be right. He would have liked his theory to be wrong. He would have liked to realize he was wrong about her and that she really meant it when she said she wanted to have a private moment with him.

"Alex…" He sighed. "We've already discussed it, haven't we?" His tone was back to gentle but hurt was audible in his voice. How could she be so hopeless? He was beginning to think he was helpless.

"I don't want to end up dying in a bed at the infirmary," she whined.

"You won't."

She pressed her lips together in frustration. She wanted him so much to understand that her death was inevitable.

"Listen," Lucas said, taking her hands in his. "I love you so much Alex. My life would be nothing without you. I am nothing without you. My life stopped the day my mother died. Meeting you was like rebirth. I want you to be strong. I want you to live. It's all that I want. You. Alive."

Lucas watched her carefully as he said it. She seemed distant and Lucas wondered if she even had listened to him. He could see how determined she looked.

Alexandra was struggling inside. Lucas' stubbornness was much less endearing now than it used to be. Why couldn't he just let her die in peace? Deep down, she knew why. She would say and do the same to convince him if he was in her place. But he wasn't.

Lucas picked up a blue violet flower and held it to Alexandra.

"Thanks," she told him emotionlessly, staring at the petals. Then she looked up at him and Lucas didn't like what he saw: a quiet determination in them. Her eyes still reflected her strength but not her self-preservation look. The same kind of eyes she had before cutting her throat a year ago.

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?" He asked her, a flint of madness betraying his anger. She didn't hold his gaze and dread overflowed him. How could he save someone who didn't want to be saved? Of the many contradictions that existed in the world, the contrast between love and hate was perhaps the starkest. He loved her so much, but she was making him hate her just as much. He was only feeling fear now, waiting for her answer.

"Alex?"

Her resolute eyes were enough as an answer. Lucas walked away, unable to hold her gaze anymore. He paced from side to side and then stopped, anger overwhelming him.

"If you really were concerned about me, if you really wanted to do what's right for me, you would live. You would fight for your life, for me. I need you to be alive. Can you understand that?"

"Don't you understand? I can't give it to you! I can't give you what you want, I can't! I want to but I can't!"

"You will. I'm gonna find a solution. Stay alive. It's all I'm asking for."

"It's not something I can promise you. And this is too much to ask you. Too much pressure on your shoulders. I will never ask you to save me."

"But I'm not asking you. Can't you see? I will always want to protect you, to save you. I'm not waiting for you to ask me. I'm not asking you your permission. Don't you want to live? Don't you want to stay with me?"

"Lucas," she suddenly sobbed. "I want so much to stay with you! I want so much to please you. But it hurts too much to hope I can stay with you whereas everything is yelling at me that I'm gonna lose you!"

She fell on the ground and hid her face in her hands, her forehead on her knees. Lucas was startled again by her honesty. He remembered that when he had first met her, he didn't know if he liked it or not. Words were always going through her lips as if it was obvious and it had confused him a lot. And here she was again, surprising him by telling the truth, showing her feelings for him. Yet, he shouldn't be surprised. He would always wait from her to be that honest. Once again, he had been wrong about her. She wanted to be with him but she had said the opposite because she didn't want to hurt him, because she thought she couldn't give it to him. Lucas kneeled in front of her and slowly tilted her head up.

"You're not going to lose me. I promise you."

"People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go."

"Maybe, but in your case, it's holding on that will prove to us that you're strong."

"Why? Why me?"

"You deserve it, that's all."

"I don't know why I should have another chance. I've already had my second chance."

"Aren't you the one who told me I was wrong about life? That it was not our choices that made our life, but destiny? Maybe life spares you again because she had not finished with you yet. Maybe you're destined to do something else."

"Destined," she chuckled bitterly.

"Do you even want to live?"

"I spent the last weeks accepting my death. Now I have accepted it, you want me to have faith? You want me to have hope? It´s fate. I was supposed to die. I should have died last time."

"Stop saying that kind of stupid thing. Can't you see how silly you are?"

"You're the idiot here. Why can't you understand a simple thing as this? What's wrong with you?"

"Do you want to know what's wrong? What my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is: I LOVE YOU. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love the way you make me feel, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, _that _is my problem... My problem is that you are trying to take that away from me. My problem is that I don't want it to stop and you keep trying to make it stop."

"What do you want me to do, Lucas?" She asked helplessly.

"I want you to fight. I want you to fight, for me, for us."

"I… I can't, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. I wish I could explain so you could understand my vision of this situation. But I can't do better and I know my reasons are not good enough for you. I have the feeling that I need to justify myself, to justify my decision to everyone all the time, but I shouldn't. You should accompany me to the end, not fight with me until the end."

He had thought that the love he had for her and the support he gave her would suffice. Their love, that seemed indestructible yesterday, now seemed doomed. How did that happen?

"You're the reason why I hold on."

"Are you blackmailing me? Like if I don't stay alive you won't?"

"When are you going to understand that people care for you? We want you to stay with us. I want you to stay with me."

"I can't."

"Alex, you won't be a martyr! You won't die for this cause. You're gonna fight for our freedom and live! Live!" Lucas shouted.

"I'm so… lost, Lucas. I had a plan, a simple one. But I've already changed it many times because of you, because of Damon, because of your father, because of… everybody. When I came back here, I swore to myself I would not care for anyone. I swore I would not let anyone become close to me again, so no one would be hurt when they would have lost me and I would not be hurt to lose them again. But then, everyone was so gentle and kind to me, I couldn't… I couldn't keep my promise. But it made everything so much more complicated. Then I thought that maybe it was a second chance for me to say a proper good bye to the ones I love."

"The way I see it, your plan was doomed to fail from the beginning. You wanted to stay away so no one would be hurt, but you didn't count on them to love you that much. You made a decision that was far from selfish, you already cared for them, for us, for me. You don't have to die as a martyr, your life doesn't have to be dramatic. You can get out of it, you can make it stop. Your real life is here, this is the real life. People love you and they're willing to fight for you, to protect you, to save you. Look at how people have reacted to your speech with my father, they care. And don't lie to yourself, you care for them too."

"I don't know where I belong anymore..."

"You belong to me."

When Alexandra was at home, in France, back in 2012, her life was normal, and she liked it that way. Of course, sometimes, she had hoped her life could be more exhilarating or more adventurous, but it had never last for long before life had brought her back to reality. She would have never thought that one day, she would travel through time, meet this strange guy in the jungle and fall in love with him. So much in love, so deep in love, that she had understood what people meant when they said that love made you forget and forgive everything. She had always thought it was just a common theory you would serve to reassure you when you were desperately looking for love. But now, she was certain it was true. It seemed like yesterday when she had been tortured, hurt, broken, and at the same time, it seemed like ages ago. So many things had happened in her life in such a short time, it was almost unbelievable. But in the end, she would always come back to that one man she had first met. The one who had saved her. The one she had saved.

A tear ran down Alexandra's cheek and she smiled sadly at him. His hand was on her cheek in a second, brushing the tear away. She passed her hand tenderly through his hair, pushing a rebellious strand from his forehead.

"I love you," she whispered for the first time since she was back, her eyes sparkling in tears. Lucas looked at her intensely, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Why was she telling him now, only now. He had hoped so much she would say those three words again and now they seemed to arrive too late.

"I love you too," he said, his eyes narrowing on her.

She closed the gap between them and kissed him, pouring every bits of love she had for him in it. Lucas' hand ran behind her head, pulling her even closer, pressing her lips against his intensely.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she confessed as a pearl of sweat ran along her temple.

Lucas looked at her and something triggered in his mind. All of a sudden, Lucas realized he had been wrong. She had not asked him to come here and help her die, alone, peacefully. No, she had asked him to come here so she could die with him. He could see now how in pain she was. She had hidden it from him long enough to make it worst. Her breathing was harsh. Only now, Lucas could see how much she was suffering. She had a little shrill whistle whenever she inhaled or exhaled, making her grimace.

"I'll take you home," he hurried, carrying her quickly in his arms and putting her in the car.

* * *

><p>Things are started to fasten a bit for Alex and Lucas. Will Lucas have enough time to save the one he love?<p>

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Lucas and Alex's part

_"This world will never be what I expected. And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it? I will not leave alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late. It's never too late. Even if I say it'll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. Now and again we try to just stay alive. Maybe we'll turn it all around. 'Cause it's not too late. It's never too late. No one will ever see this side reflected and if there's something wrong, who would have guessed it? And I have left alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late. It's never too late.[…] The world we knew won't come back. The time we've lost can't get back. The life we had won't be ours again. This world will never be what I expected." Never too late - Three Days grace_


	72. Hurry Up

Because it took me ages to update chapter 71, here is already chapter 72!

I must thank my beta OpenPervert-Chan for her help. Now she's too busy to edit my texts, so I officially say goodbye to her and thank her for her corrections on the last 16 chapters.

* * *

><p><strong>Hurry up<strong>

Lucas didn't give Alexandra any time to get out of the car. The second they arrived at the colony, he took her from the car and carried her into the infirmary. She had repeated many times that she could walk on her own but he had not cared. His goal was to bring her to the safest place he knew and to save her.

Once he entered the infirmary, Dr. Shannon spotted him immediately and worry instantly invaded her when she realized who he was holding in his arms. Alexandra contested a lot all the way to the bedroom where Elisabeth started to exam her.

"Please Lucas. Just go. I don't want you to see me like this," she grimaced as Elisabeth helped her to put a hospital gown on.

"I'll stay with you. End of discussion."

"I don't feel well," she suddenly breathed out as the room started to spin in her eyes.

"Lay down," Elisabeth ordered her. Alexandra had difficulty to inhale and her vision started to blur. "Alex? Alex? Talk to me!"

But Alexandra couldn't. She wanted to but it was like her jaw was tightened too much. Her eyes were blankly staring at the ceiling. Her head was moving quickly from side to side. The movement fastened and suddenly all of her body started shaking violently.

Lucas stayed speechless as panic settled over him like a dark cloud. Dr Shannon kept calm and grabbed a syringe quickly, injecting a strong medicine to calm the convulsions. Alexandra's quivers slowed down and soon she was able to breathe properly.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, that's me," she joked in a croaky voice when she saw Lucas' concerned face staring at her.

"That's not funny," he said with a smile. It was not something he wanted to joke about. Yet, he couldn't suppress this warm sensation he always had when she would smile at him, leading him to smile too.

"If I can't have fun now, when am I going to have some?"

"You're gonna be fine," Lucas swore, his hand gently stroking her hair. He could feel the heat of the fever on her burning skin.

"The probabilities are thin."

"And how thin do you think they were to walk into a portal almost 2 years ago? How thin to meet me in that jungle? How thin to survive all of this? I believe we have the probabilities on our side. I want you to believe it too."

"I have so many things to tell you and now I'm running out of time to say it right."

"You'll have plenty of time to tell me later."

"No, Lucas, please, I need…"

"Alex, no," he stopped her. "You stay calm, you have some rest and then we'll talk."

Alexandra felt frustrated that he didn't want to listen to her. She had very important things to tell him. She needed to tell him those things. As she could see he was determined not to waste time listening to her, she walked out on her idea and found another plan. She would find a way.

"If I'm not here anymore, I want you to be as strong as you can be. I know you can do that. Promise me you'll do it. Swear it," she begged. Lucas tilted his forehead down to rest against hers, his eyes shut, and sighed.

"You're killing me," he whispered in a tone Alexandra wasn't able to define. Anger? Sadness? She couldn't be sure and actually, she didn't want to know. She put her hands on his cheeks and placed his face in front of her.

"I hope not," she grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. The fact that he hadn't swear he would not do anything reckless if she was gone didn't stay unnoticed. Yet, she didn't want him to leave gloomy. He looked at her and a smile started to spread on his face, his beautiful green eyes full of laughter.

"You're mad," he teased her.

"That's more like me," she beamed before kissing him tenderly. "I'm madly in love with you."

"So am I," he swore against her lips, pouring all the love he had for her into his kiss.

"Lucas, I love you just the way you are, you know that right? Never forget it. You are perfect. Never change. Stay true. I'm proud of who you are."

Her confession made his heart clenched. How could he let her die after that?

"Do you trust me?" He asked her very seriously. She looked straight in his eyes.

"Yes," she answered quickly without thinking. She was sure. She had always been.

"You're not going to die."

"Okay," she answered, but her voice was blank, betraying her doubts.

"Alex, I need you to believe I can do this," he pleaded her.

"I do. I do believe you Lucas," she stated, her eyes locked into his, proving to him that she trusted him. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you Alex. I really do." He rested his hand on her cheek and paused, then asked. "Do you love me?"

"I love you Lucas. I will always love you." He pressed his lips against hers, kissing her as if it was his last. "I got to go," he sighed before standing up and going to the door.

"Lucas… Be careful, would you?" Lucas nodded his head solemnly and left the room.

Damon was waiting for him outside. Lucas looked at him and tilted his head silently in the direction of a room located a little further away. Damon moved his head slightly to confirm that he had understood and followed him without a word into the room. Lucas closed the door behind them and talked immediately once he was sure they were alone.

"Damon, I don't like you and you don't like me. I think we both agreed on that a long time ago. But here, it's about Alex. And if there is one thing we have in common is our desire to keep her alive, right?"

"Right."

"Alex trusts you, so I believe I have to trust her on this. I need someone to explain my plan to and I guess that you're not as stupid as you look."

"Should I feel insulted?" Damon frowned.

"If I wanted to insult you I would've referred to the so many flaws you've got, like how useless you can be, how normal, pathetic, incompetent and insignificant you are."

"Maybe I should have felt flattered after all," he grimaced. "Yet, I can see that you are asking _me _to help _you_. I must be a little bit competent after all," he mocked him.

"Well, that's what Alexandra thinks. She sees a lot of goodness in people that don't seem worth it.

"You know how to ask for help, don't you?" Damon smirked.

"Can I trust you?" Lucas asked him seriously.

"Can _I _trust you?" Damon replied earnestly.

"You don't need to trust me. But you can trust my plan to be the best. Can I trust you not to tell anyone? Not my father or Alex?"

"Of course you can. I think we better keep this secret so it won't be compromised. The less people to know about it, the more efficient we are going to be."

"See, on this point, I have to agree with you. You might be a bit clever in the end," Lucas taunted. "My plan is to interfere as little as possible with the time. The world is a really fragile place especially when it comes to time fractures. I'm going to find Sean in the future and ask him to work on the cure before Alexandra is even exposed to the radiation. It will give him more time to succeed. Alex said he needed something like two weeks to finish it. I'll give him a month."

"How are you going to do that?" Damon asked eagerly.

"Here's the trick. With the data Alex brought back with her from 2150, it's now very easy to create a portal. I'm gonna create 3 of them, every portal will be unique, almost undetectable. I'm gonna use the first one to go to the future and shut it once I'm there. I'll use another one to come back with almost the same parameters, except I'll come back exactly 5 minutes after, so I won't interfere with the first time travel. I'll give the same unique device to Sean. He will only have to use it when he's ready and he should arrive 5 minutes after me. For you, it will be like we just left. For me, it might be few days, a week, maybe more. For him, a month. But I need you to stay where the portal will be. I need someone to watch my back, just in case. Can you do that?"

"I'll do it. For Alex," Damon replied firmly. Lucas seemed to be deliberating something in his head and eventually talked again.

"If something goes wrong, if I'm not back after 5 minutes, you call for reinforcements," Lucas said gravely. Damon didn't joke this time, noticing how serious Lucas was. "If I don't come back… Then I'll count on you to protect her." It was horrible for Lucas to ask Damon such a favor but he knew at least Damon would do whatever it cost to keep her alive.

"I'd give my life for her, you know it. You can count on me."

"Good. Meet me at the gate tomorrow at noon. We'll drive to a safe place."

"Wait. I have one question. Why aren't you going just after Alex left so you would be sure you don't meet her and Sean will still have the time he needs to finish the cure."

"No, I can't do that. It's too risky. We don't know what happened after Alexandra arrived. There are big probabilities that her father has questioned Sean, or worse, killed him… Gate, tomorrow at noon?"

"Ok, I'll be there," Damon shook his head in agreement.

They were leaving the room when they saw doctors running in and out of Alexandra's bedroom. They ran to it to find Alexandra convulsing again. In the chaos of the scene, Lucas ran to her and seized her arms to restrain her movements.

"Alex!"

"Han…"

"What?"

"Han… You… Han…" She babbled incoherently.

"Hon?"

"Hannah…"

"Hannah? Who's Hannah?"

"Sauve-la!" She suddenly said in French, her eyes wide opened as if she was awake.

"What? Alex? Alex, I don't speak French! Alex?"

"Fais-le! Promets-le!"

"Hey, sweetheart! Hey! Alex, talk to me. I don't understand."

"Il faut la sauver, la sauver… Hannah," he heard her mumbling. All of a sudden, she fainted in Lucas' arms.

"What's going on? Doctor Shannon! DOCTOR SHANNON!" Lucas shouted, suddenly uncontrollable.

She was moving her head from side to side, moaning like she was in pain, causing Lucas' heart to race in anguish. Tears were running down her cheeks while she was grimacing and mumbling inaudible things. All of a sudden, she coughed blood and her whole body started quivering again.

"She's convulsing again!" Dr. Shannon shouted to the nurses that were with her. This time, Elisabeth had no other choice than to definitively stop Alexandra's convulsion. "Nurse Ogawa, sedation!" She hollered. The woman handed her a syringe that she grasped before plunging the needle into Alexandra's arm.

The shaking stopped in an instant. Lucas felt Alexandra's body soften under his hands and terror caught him. Was she dead?

"Alex! Wake up!" Lucas called vigorously, rocking her violently.

"Lucas, she's in a coma," Elisabeth stopped him, grabbing his arms tightly.

Alexandra's last words were echoing in Lucas' head. For a moment, the horror of Alexandra leaving him seemed a reality. Every breath he brought in hurt him, tearing a hole deeper in his chest.

"How can this be? It's only 47 days! She was supposed to have more time!" He said forcefully.

"I'm sorry Lucas. You know as much as me that this is not the kind of thing we can work out precisely," she calmed him. "She left this for you," Elisabeth said, holding him a plex.

Lucas made a strange face when he turned it on. An image was lighting up, indicating that a video had been recorded. Lucas stared at it, hesitating. What should he do? Watch it now or wait to watch it later? He wanted to wait, but he couldn't. He needed to see her awake and alive one last time.

He walked to the corner of the room, kneeled down and turned the video on. A small grin appeared on his face when Alexandra's blue eyes appeared on the screen. They were bright and shiny because of the fever, but it was obvious there was something more in them. Mischief. That was mischief and that was exactly her.

'_Lucas, my dear love, my soul mate. I know I have not been very nice to you lately. I really don't want you to think that I wanted to push you away. You're the one that I've kept the closest. Because you're the closest person I have. The only one I want to be that close with. You're my better half.'_

Lucas felt a tear escape from the corner of his eye. Her better half, her soul mates. She meant so much to him and only now he understood that he meant the same to her.

"_Lucas, there is a leader in you. You'll succeed in everything you'll undertake. I know it. I have no worries about that. You can be proud of who you are, but… don't brag too much. You know how much it irritates people,' _she smiled.

Lucas' heart clenched at her words. She meant it and that was exactly why he loved her. She was strong, determined to do what was good, even if it meant she had to die. It comforted him in his first idea. He would follow his own plan.

'_If your plan doesn't work… If you don't come back with me... If you don't save me… Please, promise me you'll move on. Don't frown, I can see you from here! Don't think I don't know what you're thinking right now. I don't want you to even think about that. You can live without me. You can,' _she scolded him gently. _'Don't do anything stupid like dying. If I don't survive this, I want you to live, to enjoy your life as much as possible. I want you to start a brand new life, a long and happy life. I want you to do it, because I love you. And you'll do it, because you love me. Never forget how much you count for me. You'll stay forever here,' _she confessed, pointing her index finger to her heart._ "Forever," _she insisted one last time. Then the video froze on her, her finger still pointing to her heart.

Lucas' eyes were stuck on the screen for few minutes now, observing the last image of the one he loved, when Elisabeth walked to him. Lucas tilted his head up to glance at Elisabeth, then his eyes darted to Alexandra.

"She won't wake up, not on her own… I placed her in ice so the fever doesn't burn her brain, but it's only temporarily. You need to find this cure Lucas, you have to."

Lucas stopped staring at Alexandra's almost lifeless body at her last sentence and looked intensely at the woman. He didn't know how, but he was sure she knew. She knew all of his plan and was granting him to do it. He nodded and stepped to Alexandra. He needed to feel her. He needed to hear her. He needed her to stay alive. He simply needed her.

"How far would you go for love?" Lucas heard Elisabeth ask him from behind. He looked one last time at Alexandra, pressed a deep kiss on her forehead and turned to meet Dr. Shannon's concerned gaze.

"The farthest," he responded very seriously.

"Then go," she ordered him firmly.

The fear that had been fueling him before was still there, but a wall of determination had suddenly come down out of nowhere and blocked it off. Lucas was determined to follow his own plan. He had lied to Alexandra but this time he didn't care. He was going to the future, but not to save her in that future, he would save her in the past, their actual present.

He would go and find Sean before she got infected. He would find him and convince him to work on a cure before she was infected. It was a risk he was willing to take, he knew it could also not work, but he had no choice. If he wanted to save the one he loved, he had to stick to this plan. He was a genius, it would work. Lucas had been racking his mind for hours. There was no other solution. His theory could only be right, it had to be. The idea had been at the back of his mind for some time. Now, he had no other choice. Her life was depending on him.

Lucas glanced at Damon who had stayed at the door, determined. Damon didn't say a single word and just nodded to Lucas, his jaw clenched tightly. He knew how dangerous this mission was and how important the results were. For the first time, Damon had to believe in Lucas' ingenuity and for once, he was willing to trust his abilities. He had no other choice than leave his best friend's life in Lucas' hands.

Lucas walked outside the room, left the infirmary, his visage emotionless, Damon following him silently like a shadow. Ten minutes later, they both left the colony, the vehicle laden with the three portals. Thirty minutes after, in the middle of the jungle, Lucas stopped the rhino. Fifteen minutes later, everything was ready. There was no turning back.

Damon nodded solemnly to Lucas who nodded in response. It was time. Lucas' grip tightened around Alexandra's blood sample he had in his pocket and he walked into the portal, ready for his mission.

The second he was gone, the second Damon's walkie-talkie emitted a sound.

"Is he gone?" The Commander's voice asked.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Let me know when he comes back. I'll talk to you soon."

"Sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I still don't understand. Why did you not want him to know that you agreed with him?"

"Because I know my son. He always works better on his own."

* * *

><p>Tick-tock tick-tock the clock is on for Lucas! Be careful dear future, Lucas Taylor is coming for you!<p>

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story<p>

Lucas' part

_"They don't own me. I'm not a piece in their game. Can't control me. They're the only ones to be blamed. I'll never breakdown. I won't give up this fight. I'll give them nothing. Nothing Nothing. Just one kiss and I will be hooked to her fire. Her flames are surrounding me now. As we watch as they light up the sky. We must stand up and fight. Cause this love is not a game to me. We'll survive. And start an uprising. You can ignite. Stand and fight. Don't cave in. So Let the Games begin. Notice me cause I've been here all along. I've been waiting. Since you sang me your song. It's our moment to turn things around. And show them something. With nothing, With nothing. And now our star-crossed love has materialized. We've locked our fate right here, right now. […] She doesn't know the effect she can have. No she doesn't know the effect she can have." Girl Of Fire - Arshad_

Alex's part

_"I'm bleeding out. So if the last thing that I do is to bring you down, I'll bleed out for you. So I bare my skin and I count my sins, and I close my eyes, and I take it in, and I'm bleeding out, I'm bleeding out for you. When the day has come that I've lost my way around, and the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground. When the sky turns gray and everything is screaming, I will reach inside just to find my heart is beating. You tell me to hold on, oh you tell me to hold on, but innocence is gone and what was right is wrong. 'Cause I'm bleeding out […] When the hour is nigh, and hopelessness is sinking in, and the wolves all cry to fill the night with hollering. When your eyes are red, and emptiness is all you know, with the darkness fed, I will be your scarecrow." Bleeding out - Imagine Dragons_


	73. Back to the Future

Hi everyone! Here's the chapter in the future! This is for you SamuraiJack!

And welcome to Greekgirrl who's my new beta! Thanks again to my first two betas, we did a good collaboration. Greekgirrl, I hope we'll do the same!

* * *

><p><strong>Back to the future<strong>

The portal opened in Hope Plaza the moment Lucas had opened it in the jungle. The building had been rebuilt according to Charles' instructions. Fortunately for Lucas, Alexandra had drawn him a map before her condition worsened. When he arrived, he landed just where he had predicted: a room in the basement, away from the world, isolated, ideal for opening a gate without being noticed.

He took a deep breath in reflexively and the dusty air burnt his throat. Even here, in the dome, the air was toxic to him. Nothing compared to Terra Nova. He coughed many times before his lungs accepted the transition. Lucas looked around him and found the closet Alexandra had told him about. He broke the padlock and opened the door on the piece of furniture. Inside, he grabbed a uniform and disguised himself in a guard.

Lucas quietly opened the door that led to a narrow corridor and took the staircase that was at the end. At the top of it, he found himself at a large dock where a lot of people were pacing from place to place. It was crowded with soldiers and scientists. Through the glass of the dome, Lucas could see how dark and dirty the outside was. This world seemed worse than he remembered. Even the scientists had not predicted that the Earth would die so quickly. Alexandra had been right when she had told them that soon it would be the end.

Lucas lowered the visor of his cap to further hide his face and walked into the arena, ready for his mission. First of all, he had to find Sean. His lab was on the fifth floor, number 455. He headed to the elevator at the end of the dock and entered in as many people did the same. Once he was at the right floor, he tried to blend in with the group of people that walked out of the elevator and went unnoticed to the lab.

He entered the room silently and locked the door behind him. The room was very simple. A desk, a computer and some files. Lucas reached the desk, reading the papers that were at the top of a pile.

"Hey, what are you doing here? It's a restricted area!" A male voice warned him.

"Sean Harris?" Lucas asked, without looking at the man standing behind him, his fingers still lingering on the files on the desk.

"Yeah. And you are?"

Lucas turned his face to look at him, his gaze hard.

"Do I really need to answer?"

Sean froze at the sight of the man in front of him. And also at the gun that was aimed in his direction.

"You're Lucas Taylor," he gulped.

"Well, that's something I won't have to persuade you about," Lucas smirked.

"What do you want?"

"Straight to the point! I like that," Lucas mocked.

"It's why I've been hired. I always get straight to the point."

"It's what I've heard," Lucas chuckled.

"I've heard a lot about you too," Sean started, his hands still in the air.

"I bet you have."

"Charles described you perfectly," Sean chuckled.

"Meaning?"

"A selfish boaster."

Lucas' lips made a thin line on his face, his eyes narrowing on the man in front of him. Sean was probably thirty something. He was taller than Lucas and had a beard like him. However, he was as blond as wheat and his skin was really white. His blue eyes were challenging Lucas, daring him to try anything stupid enough that he would have time to escape.

"You seem very sure of yourself here. Don't be too arrogant, I'm sure you know what I'm capable of."

His menacing words silenced Sean immediately.

"Better," Lucas stated. "Sit," he ordered him. As Sean didn't seem ready to move, Lucas added in a drawling voice, "Please?"

Sean stepped warily to the seat next to his desk.

"Are you here for the portal? Because I can give it to you."

Lucas burst into laughter.

"The portal? You mean, the portals."

Sean tried to not show Lucas how surprised he was to learn that someone else knew about the seven portals he was working on.

"Never underestimate a genius."

"What do you want?" Sean asked again, frowning.

"Are you okay on that chair? 'Cause I've got a story to tell you. And you might not want to believe it, but trust me, you will."

"I'm listening," Sean replied through gritted teeth.

"Grand revelation: I know about your alliance with Alex."

His statement was followed by a heavy silence. Then it was Sean's turn to burst into laughter.

"What?"

"This is not a game. I'm not looking for secrets. I already know everything. She told me everything."

"She? Alexandra Dubois? Don't be ridiculous. I don't know what kind of tricky game Charles is playing at, but I'm not a traitor. And I don't have any alliance with Alex."

Lucas swallowed hard at this discovery. Had she lied to him about Sean's help in her riot against her father? No, surely she wouldn't have lied about something that important. Lucas glanced away, thinking quickly about every reason why Sean would lie or why he would actually tell the truth. He looked back at Sean and tried a new approach.

"I know for your dear Hannah…"

Sean didn't let Lucas finish his sentence and pushed him violently against the wall, both his hand tightly gripped on his shirt.

"How do you know about Hannah?"

"I told you, she told me everything! I came from Terra Nova where Alex is."

"Alex is here, not there. You're a fool!"

"In six months, she will escape from here and go back to Terra Nova with your help."

"Impossible! No way!"

"It is the truth," Lucas affirmed. "Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm a liar."

"If you're on the Terra Nova side, you should know that she's with the enemy."

"You and her, you're friends," Lucas insisted, pushing Sean away. "You became friends, and you told her about Hannah."

"That's impossible... No one knows," Sean mumbled, shocked.

"She knows."

Lucas didn't know what Alexandra knew and had no clue at all who Hannah was, but she was obviously the key to accessing Sean's trust. Lucas was certain now that he had arrived too early in the future. Alexandra and Sean were obviously not friends. The moment when Sean had stopped Alexandra from her suicide attempt had not happened yet.

"I… If…"

"Think a moment. You know it's possible, right?"

"It can't be…"

"Alex said you were a kind of genius. Don't make me regret believing her."

Sean was going to answer when a red light started to flash.

"Someone's coming!"

Lucas looked around him, looking for a shelter, but Sean was quicker than him and pushed him in a cupboard. Lucas fought to get inside, not sure if he could trust Sean not to betray his presence.

"Trust me," he stated. "I'm a genius, remember?"

On that sentence, he closed the cupboard's doors and ran to his desk. The lab's door opened and an arrogant and smug Alexandra entered the room, alone. Through tiny holes in the door, Lucas could see the scene that was playing.

"Harris," she greeted.

"Miss Dubois," he nodded.

Alexandra glanced around the room, her eyes darting everywhere. It was like she knew something was up, making Sean uncomfortable. Lucas stopped breathing, afraid she would hear him.

"Are you alright? You look frantic."

"No. I mean, yes, I… I was just tidying a bit."

She stared at him suspiciously for what seemed like an eternity to Sean and Lucas before speaking again.

"I wrote this for you. It should answer the questions you had last week," she explained, holding out a folded piece of paper to him.

"Thanks," Sean mumbled.

At the sight of Alexandra's grimace in response to his gratitude, Lucas knew it was not Sean's normal attitude with her. She stared at him, perplexed. She opened her mouth slightly, and Lucas was almost certain she was fighting with herself not to welcome him. Instead, she tightened her lips and walked away with no word.

Lucas waited to be sure she was gone before emerging from his hiding spot.

"She doesn't look like she wants to be my friend."

"You'll have to do one thing first. You're the one who made the first move," Lucas said, heading to the door.

"Hey! You can't go out with her!"

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

Lucas opened the door and oversaw Alexandra walking to her father. Charles was exactly how he remembered: disgusting. He looked older though. Maybe it was what happened when you lost someone you love. It was exactly what had happened to Lucas and his father. And to Skye and her mother.

Once he was sure they were far enough away and that they would not spot him, he went out. He followed them discreetly to a small deck where a man was obviously waiting for them, another man tied up tightly in front of him. The man was standing straight, proudly. He was enormous. Charles had always loved guards who looked like ogres.

"Travis," Charles sighed. "What is it?"

"Sir, I surprised this man selling information to some civilians."

"And?"

Charles couldn't care less about what Travis was saying. It was evident he found it annoying. Lucas wondered what the aim of this man was. He surely knew that Charles didn't want to intervene in that kind of problem. That was exactly why he had a second man like this Travis.

"And I think your daughter knew about it and did nothing."

There it was. Travis wanted to prove Alexandra's treachery. Lucas gritted his teeth in frustration. He knew fair well that he couldn't move from his spot and it was killing him.

Charles' eyebrows rose in surprise, and he looked at her daughter with a questioning gaze, waiting for her to explain.

"Father, you know I would have not allowed something like that. Travis has no proof," Alexandra said calmly.

"You're not on our side. I can see through your little game," Travis groaned.

"I couldn't care less what you think," she replied immediately.

"Remember who you're talking to," he warned her in a menacing tone.

"You're a pain in the ass Travis," she replied with a sly smile. "And don't forget who you're working for either."

"Stop it," Charles intervened with a sigh. "I have no time for this. What's wrong, Travis?"

"Travis thinks you shouldn't trust me," Alexandra said, disdain evident in her voice. She knew she was bad in Travis' book since the beginning.

"And you don't trust him?" Her father asked, even if his tone made it clear he already knew the answer.

"To tell the truth, I think I'll put a bullet right through his head when I have the occasion," she replied bluntly.

"Very good," Charles laughed, amused.

"Would you allow me?" She asked with a devilish grin.

"Prove to him I'm right to trust you. Kill him," he challenged her instead, his index finger showing the traitor.

Travis had an evil smile on his face, waiting for her to fail this test. Alexandra grabbed her gun so quickly that Lucas barely had time to notice it, and in a second it was directed to the prisoner's head.

"On your knees," Alexandra said coldly to the man in front of her. When the man didn't obey, Travis kicked him in the legs, forcing him to stand on his knees.

"Please, don't kill me. Please, I have a w-"

Alexandra didn't let the man finish his sentence. She shot him right in the head. One deadly shot and the man stopped his pleading.

Lucas was shocked by Alexandra's coldness. Her face was hard as stone, heartless.

"Satisfied?" She asked, her expression unreadable.

"Yes," her father said proudly, beaming at Travis. "See, my daughter is just like me. It's cold blood that runs through her veins. A heart of stone," he smirked, squeezing her shoulder in a fatherly gesture.

"You get rid of the body then," Travis groaned, disappointed she had killed the man so easily.

"Not a problem," she scowled.

"Good," Charles said firmly, ending their evident warpath. "Join me when it's done. Travis, I think they need you at the factory. You better go now."

In his tone, it was obvious it was an order and not a proposition. Charles beamed one last time at his daughter and walked away. Travis glared at her but obeyed and left, heading to the factory.

Alexandra stayed motionless for a moment, staring at the body in front of her. Lucas saw her face falling apart slowly. She sank to the ground beside the man she had just shot. She stared at him for a few minutes, then, with a steady hand, she closed his eyes. Lucas saw her bend down and whisper something in his ear. She looked at the corpse one last time, her eyes full of tears, took a deep breath and wiped her face with the back of her hands. Then, in a second, her mask of coldness returned. She stood up and yelled at two guards to come and take the body away.

Once they were gone, she paced in circle, like a lion in cage. Lucas could see that she was fuming inside. All of a sudden, she violently punched the wall with her fist, hollering an angry and painful shout. She kicked it three more times with her foot before stopping. Her scream had alerted two soldiers, so she recomposed herself quickly.

One of the guards saw her bleeding hand and frowned at her, suspicious. He stepped up to her, staring at her. She didn't give him time to point it out to his colleague and punched him at the bottom of his cheek. Her attack was followed by a horrible crack and the guard felt down in agony, unable to speak with a broken jaw, moaning in pain.

"Don't you ever look at me like that again," she commanded him in a very menacing tone. "You, take him to the infirmary. And spread the word, nobody looks at me like I'm no one. I'm Alexandra Dubois, your chief. Is that right?"

"Yes, Madam," the guard stammered before helping his colleague to walk away.

Lucas could feel how angry she was, but was almost proud of her. She could be a lot like him if she had to. He knew it was an act only, but it was working and that was all that mattered. Just like the killing had been. Lucas was sure she knew that even if she had not shot him, the man would have been murdered for his treason. It would have been her or someone else, and obviously, she needed to stay alive. Now, Lucas better understood the story she had told him about her somber life as his father's second in command. He felt hurt for her. He knew she was only pretending and that it was costing her a lot. The only thing that was helping him to stay away from her was knowing she would eventually leave that bloody place and come back to him.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story.<p>

"_Hijacked when you weren't looking. Behind your back people are talking. Using words that cut you down to size. You want to fight back. It's building inside you. Holding you up. Taking you hostage. Yeah, it's worth fighting for. They'll try to take your pride. Try to take your soul. They'll try to take all the control. They'll look you in the eyes. Fill you full of lies. Believe me they're gonna try. So when you're feeling crazy. And things fall apart. Listen to your head. Remember who you are. You're the one. You're the unbreakable heart. […] Hijacked when you weren't looking. Behind your back people are talking. Using words that cut you down to size. You want to fight back. You're out in the open. You're under attack. But your spirit's not broken. You know it's worth fighting for. […] Don't look them in the eyes. Believe me they're gonna try. To fill you up with lies. They'll try to take your pride. Try to take your soul. You're the one. You're the unbreakable heart. __You're the one." Unbreakable Heart – Three Days Grace_


	74. Rise Up

Chapter 74! The longest chapter ever written! Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Rise up<strong>

Lucas rejoined Sean once Alexandra had left the small deck where she had killed the man and punched the guard. He opened and closed the door quickly. When he turned around, Sean was waiting for him, sitting in the same chair he had asked him to sit previously. With one exception: there was a gun in his hand.

"So, you're back…"

"I told you I would be."

"I have plenty of questions for you."

"I guess we need to talk, then."

"Have a seat," he commanded him, pointing to another chair with his gun. "Please?" He drawled, mimicking Lucas' previous behavior.

"What do you need to know?" Lucas started bluntly.

"I really wonder why the great Lucas Taylor risked his life to come back here and save the life of a woman who betrayed him. Especially when we all know that this same Lucas Taylor betrayed his boss who's incidentally the father of that same lady."

"Alex has never betrayed me," Lucas pointed out forcefully.

"Never? How strange, because she's working for her father. The man you have decided to stop working for. The man who tried to kill you, if I remember well."

"She had no other choice."

"She followed Charles and left you dying at Terra Nova. I don't really see where she was forced in that story."

"Is that what he told you?"

Lucas was stunned, but he shouldn't have been. He should have known that Charles would not say he had lost everything, that his plan had failed.

"How did he explain Alice's death?"

"Alice's death? She's not dead," Sean chuckled awkwardly. "She's at their dome in France."

Sean's answer made Lucas laugh so hard that his face slowly decomposed.

"Are you so credible?"

Sean frowned at his question and lifted up his gun that had lowered while Lucas was speaking.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fool. I'm not stupid. I know something is wrong with Charles' explanation about his wife's absence."

"Yeah, right," Lucas smirked arrogantly. "Alex was wrong about you. You're definitely not clever."

"Stop talking about her like she knows me!" Sean vociferated.

"But she does! When are you gonna understand that? SHE KNOWS YOU! YOU'RE HER FRIEND!" Lucas hollered standing up, his index finger pointing at Sean's face.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Sean yelled, standing up too in order to face Lucas.

They glared at each other silently, breathing hard.

"She's not the girl you think she is," Lucas stated strongly.

"I know damn well who she is. She-"

"-has been kidnapped by her father! Forced to work for him to stay alive! And Alice is dead. Totally dead. My dear father shot her last year."

Sean seemed to ponder what to believe, his mouth agape in shock. Lucas took the most of it and, as he had edged closer and closer to the desk, he ended up close enough to grab the gun and aim it at Sean.

"I'm not lying here. If you really know that I'm against Charles, then you have to believe me when I say Alex is on my side too. Our side. Because I know you share the same opinion about the man. I'm also sure you would fight him if you had help. And this help, well, Alex is going to give it to you."

"I don't wanna fight Charles. My life depends on him."

"Rubbish."

"Even if I wanted too, there's no way we can destroy him."

"Alex has a way."

Lucas didn't move his gun from Sean's face until he was sure Sean understood everything he had just said.

"If we are on the same side, then lower that bloody gun," Sean eventually blurted out hopelessly.

"Stop freaking out. I'm not going to kill you. Just shooting you if you deserve it."

"Very funny."

"Look, I can't tell you everything. I'm sure you're not a genius, but smart enough to understand that if I tell you too much, it could change a lot of things. And we can't interfere with the timeline."

"Why would I believe her? Why should I believe you?"

"How do you think I knew where to find you? How do you think I came here? She was here. She recorded everything in her mind and told it to me."

"So, it's true…"

"What is?"

"Her hyperthymesia. I thought it was a myth."

"Well, like a lot of stories you heard here, people lied to you."

"I'm trying hard here to believe you. But you're not known for your loyalty."

"I know it can work", Lucas assured him. "And I'm loyal to myself. Be sure to stay on my side, and I won't betray you."

"If I agree with you, we could both be wrong," Sean replied.

"Geniuses are never wrong," Lucas reminded him with a smile. "Do we have a deal?"

Sean glanced one last time to Lucas' serious face and held his hand out to him.

"Deal."

Lucas spent the rest of the day working secretly in Sean's lab. He knew that Sean did not totally trust him. However, Sean knew that his story was believable. Also, Lucas' help with his work was a real plus and Sean couldn't deny that it was worth it.

Lucas' first encounter with Alexandra, or actually, his first observation of her life there, had been quite aggressive. Her actions were composed of violence only. From what he could see, she was always fighting. Anger was her leitmotiv. Soon, she would explode. Nobody could live long with that kind of life. Even him, he had had to stop one day.

At the end of the afternoon, Sean left Lucas to go and retrieve some files from level 4. That was why, when the red light started flashing five minutes later, Lucas immediately ran to the cupboard and hid, knowing it was not Sean coming back. The lab's door swung open, revealing Alexandra and her father fighting.

"Alex, I've heard you fought again."

"Fought is not really the proper term."

"You broke his jaw, on purpose."

"We had a little spat. And so what? Get over it."

"Calm down girl. I know you have to prove that you're better than them. But don't forget they work for us. They're not enemy."

"It has nothing to do with that. I…"

Alexandra stopped arguing when Sean entered the lab, his hands full of papers. When he saw them, he stepped back in surprise and let some papers fall down.

"Oh! Mister Dubois, Miss Dubois, I…"

"What's with you now?" Alexandra groaned as she spotted that the desk was covered with a lot of files too. "Your desk is messier than ever."

"My daughter's right. It reminds me about a scientist I knew... Not a good memory."

"Sorry Mister Dubois. It won't happen again," Sean apologized, standing up.

"Get this room cleaned up."

"Yes, Sir."

"Alexandra is going to stay with you a moment. I need information you have and she is going to get it for me."

"Sure," Sean replied, noting the dark glare she was sending him. Now that he knew her gift was real, he understood better why she was coming almost every day to read his work. She was not correcting it, she was just recording it.

Charles left without waiting any longer and Sean ended up alone with her. He noticed Alexandra's right arm was bandaged and couldn't resist trying to be friendly. After all, Lucas had said they should become friends in the near future.

"Broken wrist?"

"Someone's jaw attacked me," she said caustically.

"A little bit clumsy, are we?" He noted lightly.

"That's none of your business," she spat darkly. "Show me what you've done for the last two days. I don't wanna spend my whole day here."

"Here," he replied, showing her the corner of his desk.

Alexandra took the papers and sat on the chair next to the cupboard. She started reading while Sean sat at his desk, glancing occasionally to the cupboard, nervous. At one point, she seemed disturbed about something as her eyes were staring at the arms of the chair. It was like she had known Lucas had sat on it. But after 15 minutes, she stood up.

"I'm done."

She dropped the papers on the desk and was ready to leave when her gaze stopped on something.

"What's this?"

"What?"

"This," she pointed with her index finger to the plan Lucas had worked on earlier with Sean.

"Corrections."

"From who?"

"Me."

She looked him straight in the eyes, observing him.

"Doesn't look like your handwriting."

"Who else could have done that?" He shrugged innocently.

Alexandra stared at him suspiciously for a moment before speaking again.

"You wouldn't work with someone else, would you?"

"Of course not!"

"Good. Because we both know how it would end for you."

"Are you protecting me?" Sean deliberately teased her with a smile.

"Did you really say what I think you said?"

"No, because, you know… I know I'm an attractive man, quite dashing. I can understand if you have feelings for me," he grinned.

"What's wrong with you? Are you out of your mind?"

"Okay, alright. There's nothing," Sean stated, holding his hands in the air in surrender.

"I don't believe you."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that," he replied, clearly not sorry.

"Okay, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!"

"Every time I come here, things are different. I know you're hiding something."

"I swear, there's nothing."

"Why are you suddenly playing the friendly guy?"

"Am I?"

Alexandra stepped closer, stopping inches away from him.

"Don't play with me. The gauge of my patience is really, really thin lately."

Lucas was praying to God that Sean would stop taunting her. He was going to expose them. He should have coached him better about the Alexandra of the future.

"I think you need to have fun more often."

Uh-oh. Sean was doing exactly the opposite of what Lucas had told him to do. He was risking a lot. Lucas couldn't see why Alexandra liked the guy so much. He was arrogant, smug, always bragging about his pseudo intelligence. How did she end up believing in him? Suddenly, realization caught him. He was him, Sean was exactly like Lucas. Or, as Lucas wished, like the old him.

"Do I look like I care?"

Alexandra's tone was blank. She was clearly analyzing Sean, wondering what his goal was.

"Obviously not. But maybe you should care. Maybe having a friend here would be a good thing for you."

"Meaning?"

"I've heard you wanted to dethrone your dear father."

In less than a second, a gun was suddenly in her hand, pointed menacingly at Sean.

"Who told you that?" She asked angrily.

"Everyone knows."

"Liar!"

"It's obvious!"

"Don't make me shoot you. I've already killed too many people in the last couple of days," she sighed in annoyance, her gun still aimed at his head.

"You won't shoot."

"Oh yeah? I won't? And what makes you so sure about it?"

"I'm on your side."

"Which side is that?"

"Everybody needs someone to count on."

"I don't."

"Everybody does… You'll regret it if you kill me."

"Yeah, like I care. I bet it will haunt me forever!" She joked darkly.

"You can't be that heartless."

"You do it, then you forget it. As simple as that. I bet my father would find another scientist quickly."

Sean's cocky attitude suddenly dropped as he understood she really could kill him and leave no trace behind.

"Okay, I believe you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No one hurts me. But I could hurt you. Don't forget that next time we meet. Oh and, by the way, spread the word: I'm loyal to my father. Never forget it."

On that menacing note, she left the room, clearly upset. Lucas was out of the cupboard in an instant, glaring angrily at Sean.

"I take back what I said earlier, you're really too stupid!"

Then he ran to the door and went outside. Lucas couldn't waste the opportunity to see Alexandra again. She was walking fast and it was hard for him to keep pace with her without being noticed. Soon, she entered a corridor and he hesitated to follow her. There was nothing indicating where it would lead to.

After a moment of weighing the pros and cons, Lucas walked in too, praying, once again, that no one would spot him. Behind the door was another corridor, leading to a gymnasium. Thanks to windows, Lucas could observe her without being noticed.

He saw Alexandra put some headphone in her ears. Then, she started stretching her muscles before grabbing some weapons. The music was so loud in her headphones, Lucas could almost hear the bass. He was quite surprised she was not deaf by now. She trained fighting, shooting, but also throwing knives. And it appeared that she had become extremely skilled with knives. It was almost like a choreography. She was dancing so easily, it was beautiful. Lucas almost forgot she was dangerous and armed.

"You shouldn't stare at her like you are, bro," a man's voice warned him. Lucas cursed himself for his lack of attention. He should have been more careful.

"Why shouldn't I?" He drawled.

"Because she doesn't like it."

Lucas turned slowly to meet whoever was talking to him. A thin smile appeared on his face when he recognized the man who was with the guy Alexandra had punched. He was younger than Lucas had thought the first time he had seen him.

"I'm Caleb," the young man said, holding his open hand to Lucas.

"I'm Damon," Lucas grinned. "I like to stare at what's not mine."

"Well, Damon. She's no one's. And she wants to stay that way. No hunting there. It's guarded."

"Well, Caleb. I never doubt my abilities with women. Of course, most of the time, I'm surprised when I eventually understand I can't have them. But it has never stopped me trying again and again."

Lucas was quite amused with his private jokes about Damon, while Caleb seemed perplexed about Lucas' sanity.

"Oh, oh. This is bad," he suddenly stammered.

"What is?"

"She's staring at us."

Lucas hid his panic at the idea Alexandra could see him and put his arm around Caleb's shoulder.

"Come on," he commanded him, pushing him to the exit. "I'm sure you've got a lot to tell me about this girl.

They walked quickly to the deck and once outside, Lucas told Caleb that he had to go and left him. Instead, Lucas hid not far from the corridor's door and waited for Alexandra. Lucas smiled at the thought he was becoming very skilled with this hide and seek game. Five minutes later, Charles appeared on his left and went directly to the gymnasium. A few minutes later, he was out with Alexandra who was obviously upset to have been disturbed during her training session. And they were heading straight in his direction. Lucas was kneeling down behind a barrel and praying that Alexandra would not walk closer. Fortunately, she stopped a meter away, her gaze lost somewhere in space.

"Alex, you're not listening," her father scolded her.

"Hmm hmm…"

"Alex, you haven't heard a single word I have said, have you?"

"The blond girl, black cap and khaki jacket."

"What?"

Lucas could feel Charles' fright at his tense tone. Surely since Lucas had felt it, Charles had recognized his daughter's behavior. She was in a defensive mood.

"I've seen her before."

Her voice seemed calm but Lucas could hear a sense of urgency to it. And that was probably what warned Charles that something was wrong.

"Where?"

"Outside," she replied blankly, her gaze still on the petite woman that was leaning against a wall.

"Well, maybe she has been hired recently. You should call…"

"No," she cut him off. "She was with the demonstrators."

Charles froze and examined the blonde girl once again. And so did Lucas. If Alexandra had not said she was a threat, no one would have noticed her. Now Lucas was observing her, and it was true that she looked different. Her cap was covering most of her face, making her unrecognizable. Her jacket was too big for her and she was stamping on the floor, stressed, waiting for someone or something. Alexandra's hand ran slowly to her walkie-talkie and Lucas heard her asking for reinforcements and a scan of the woman's face. Too late.

In a second, the atmosphere changed as Alexandra seemed to spot a deep menace and yelled that there was a security breach on the second floor, before running to where the woman was. Lucas had just enough time to turn his gaze to the girl in question, to see her literally implode before his eyes. The detonation of the bomb shook the whole floor. The blast of the impact was so violent that Alexandra, just like a dozen other people, was projected at least ten meters back. She finished her gliding as she landed against a wall, unconscious. Lucas could not hold back any longer and ran to her.

"Alex! Alex!" He called her, shaking her. "Alex, love, can you hear me?"

She mumbled inaudible things in response. Lucas quickly checked her body and figured out that she would be alright. She was covered in blood, but it was not hers. That was when he also understood he should not have been there. He needed to leave or he would be captured. That was not counting on the attack that followed. A dozen armed civilians started to fight with guards. Lucas glanced around to find an escape route. He was circled, trapped as much as Alexandra whose eyes started to flicker open, staring at Lucas emotionlessly. Charles was not in sight anymore, so when one of the civilians tried to shoot Lucas, he didn't give him time to pull the trigger and punched him hard in the gut.

People were screaming, shocked by the attack. Some of them were wounded because of the explosion. Everyone was fighting, but it was easy to see who was on which side. The soldiers had uniforms, like the civilians, but the assailants' outfits were a khaki color.

Lucas stepped back and felt the wall against him. He glanced down, noticing Alexandra was not there anymore. He looked around quickly to find her and eventually saw her when, as two people were running on her, she grabbed two knives that were tied to her ankles and threw them right in their hearts.

Suddenly, hindsight caught him. She would handle this battle. Maybe it was this famous day that she had enough fighting. Maybe she needed to be hurt again to fall into that depression that had invaded her that night she wanted to end her life. As this realization filled his mind, he turned his back to the fight scene and walked away, heading back to the lab.

Once there, he waited in silence. He waited for the attack to end. He waited for the right time to go and look for her again. Sean tried to talk to him without success. Lucas just wanted the time to pass. He just wanted this fight to end so he could go and try to see if Alexandra was alright. He was not regretting his decision because he knew it was the most rational one. But he also knew that his heart was screaming at him to go back there and help her, protect her.

After an hour, the alarm stopped and a voice through the speaker said everything was under control again. Lucas had a theory about where Alexandra could be and he was ready to follow his instinct.

"Where are you going now?" Sean sighed, annoyed, when he saw Lucas walking to the door again.

"I need to know if she's fine. And so should you."

"Look, she meant everything she said to me earlier. She wants me dead! How can I want her alive?"

"She meant it, indeed. But you acted like an idiot. You changed your attitude with her from a total ignorance to an intense interest. You, dashing? Honestly, Sean, what were you thinking?"

"I don't know! I don't know how I could become friend with her. There's no reason, except the one you told me. But, I mean, I thought about it too. You said we became allies, but you never said how. And I don't know that. I really don't know why I would do that!"

Lucas was not really listening to Sean. His mind was already running fast like a machine. Sean was right. He had no idea how or why Sean had one day decided to be friends with her. Alexandra had never told him. He was not even sure if she knew why. Lucas needed to see her now. It suddenly felt very urgent.

Like every time she felt bad, Alexandra was alone at the edge of a place. Like the time she had climbed the fence, like the time she had run to the falls, like the time she had gone to that cliff. Alexandra would always go where there was an end. Maybe it was helping her think. Or maybe it was a figurative way to face the truth. In any case, Lucas didn't like it when she wanted to escape reality. It was always ending badly for her, for him.

She was standing along the barrier of Deck 9, staring away, a bottle in her hand. Totally drunk, she slid under the barrier and stumbled to the border of the deck. Reflexively, Lucas stepped out of his hiding spot, ready to run to her. Suddenly, she turned her head quicker than Lucas had thought she could. Their eyes met and they both froze. She blinked many times, narrowing her eyes, her mouth agape in disbelief, while Lucas was praying to a God he didn't believe in to give him an escape plan.

He could not destroy everything, not now. Lucas waited for her to move, but she didn't. It seemed like an eternity before she shut her eyes tightly and murmured inaudible things to herself. Lucas took the most of it and hid behind some barrels. When he dared looking again, she was staring where he was a second before. She appeared totally lost, her gaze blank. She looked like a fragile little thing, so fragile she could fall into pieces in an instant.

She made her way slowly to the edge of the deck and sat there, her legs in the air. Lucas observed her for a long moment before something triggered in his mind. That was it. That was that precise moment she had told him about. That moment when she said she had thought she had seen him. This was that dark moment when Sean had come to talk to her. She was going to try to commit suicide and Sean was the only one who could stop her.

Lucas waited but no one came out. Why was Sean not coming to rescue her? The minutes passed and Lucas' anxiousness was growing every second. And suddenly, everything made sense. Alexandra and Sean were not friends. Alexandra and Sean would never be friends. Unless someone changed that and pushed them together. And Lucas was this someone. The story had always been written and Lucas was the author of it. He was the one who had made them become friends. He was the one who had saved her. He had already intervened here.

Lucas raced to Sean's lab, worried that he had waited too long before realizing what had happened. Alexandra had really seen him that night. He had been there. He was the one who had told Sean to be her friend. He was the one who had made Sean save her. He quickened his pace when he remembered she had said Sean had talked to her like Lucas would have. He had to inform Sean, he had to. He had wanted so much to not interfere in their lives, afraid to break the timeline, that he had avoided talking about subjects like this. Sean needed to know everything.

Lucas stormed into Sean's lab but couldn't find him. He started searching for him everywhere, his heart quickening its pace every second that passed without seeing him. He grabbed his head in his hands in anger, cursing Sean for his absence. He needed to think quickly where he could be. It was around eleven in the evening. What did Sean used to do during the evening? Lucas was fuming inside when the solution appeared all by itself. Sean was in front of him, a mug of coffee in his hand.

"You! You come with me, now!"

"What? Hey! Stop!"

Lucas didn't wait to explain and grasped his arm, forcing him to join him outside.

"Listen to me, I'm not going to repeat myself," Lucas started as they were walking fast to Deck 9. "One night, Alex tried to end her life. This precise night, you came and talked to her, stopping her from doing something so stupid."

Sean stopped dead, taking his arm out of Lucas' grip.

"Wait! Is it tonight?"

"Yes."

"Hang on, I can't… I don't know what to…"

"You're gonna say to her exactly what I'm gonna tell you, understand? There is a wireless headset connected to this walkie-talkie. I will guide you along the way. You just repeat what I tell you."

Sean didn't seem convinced, but Lucas didn't give him chance to go back. Once the elevator's door opened to level 9, Lucas pushed Sean outside and ran to hide where he was earlier. Lucas stayed hidden, ready to listen to every word of their conversation.

"Walk to her!" He ordered Sean from the walkie-talkie. "Go!"

Sean stayed motionless, his eyes searching for Alexandra. The deck was totally empty, but then he spotted a silhouette at the edge of it, behind the security barriers. He walked to her silently, his steps hesitant. He crossed the barriers but stopped inches away from Alexandra. She didn't even turn her head to see who was coming.

"Go!" Lucas murmured forcefully to Sean. "Come on!"

Sean glanced in his direction, his gaze black. If he could have yelled at him to go to hell, he would have done it.

"Was it you?"

Alexandra's broken voice startled Sean.

"So-sorry?" He stammered.

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Make that girl explode?"

"No! Jesus, no!" Sean denied, honestly shocked that she thought he could do such a thing. "I would never do that!"

For the first time, Alexandra looked at him.

"Then… What are you hiding? Why are you acting like you suddenly care?"

Her eyes were pleading with Sean to tell her the truth. She needed the truth to hold on. Suddenly, with no apparent reason, Sean turned his headset off and Lucas was caught off guard.

"What the fuck?"

Lucas was very upset about not being able to hear what Sean was telling her. He was sure he was going to destroy everything. Lucas gritted his teeth in frustration as he saw Sean go and sit next to her. He seemed to be explaining things as his hands were moving in the air. Alexandra's face was showing concentration. She was listening to him seriously, nodding from time to time. At the end, Sean took something from the inside of his jacket and showed it to Alexandra. A thin smile appeared on her pale face and some tears ran down her cheeks. Lucas could see she was talking now and hated Sean even more for having cut his headset off.

It seemed like ages to Lucas before Sean eventually stood up, holding a hand to Alexandra. A hand that she grabbed. Her acceptance for help almost made Lucas jump up in happiness. Sean had succeeded. Lucas hated to admit it, but Sean had played his role eventually. And, if Lucas was honest, he would have told Sean that he had no idea what he could have asked him to say. Because, once again, Alexandra had never, ever told him the conversation. It had been her secret since the beginning.

When Sean said goodbye to Alexandra who took the elevator, Lucas ran to him, assaulting him with questions. But Sean didn't answer. He looked quite shaken. The only thing he promised him was that he was going to help her and that he did believe him now.

"How do you know it worked?" Lucas asked one last time.

"I talked to her with an open heart like you said. And it worked."


	75. Let's start a riot

Hi everyone! I apologize a lot, a lot, a lot! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I've been busy at home, busy at work… Just no time to write. But here I am again! Thanks to the ones who are still here. And I promise, no matter how long it takes me, I'll finish this story.

Here's chapter 75, it was so long that I cut it in two parts. So chapter 76 is coming soon. It'll be the last one in the future. Chapter 77, Lucas will be back to Terra Nova. Let's hope he'll come back with the cure!

* * *

><p><strong>Let's start a riot<strong>

"Security is gonna be extra tight now. You need to stay under the radar."

Alexandra was pacing nervously around Sean's desk. She had come to Sean's lab early in the morning. Her attitude was betraying her worry. It was not her habit to act like that, and it triggered Lucas' internal alarm.

"I always keep a low profile," Sean started to say.

"Keep it that way," she cut him off. "You… About last night… Did you mean it?"

"About what?"

"I have no time for this kind of game. Did you mean it?"

"Yes, I did," he affirmed.

"I need to know I can trust you. And you need to know you can trust me, right?"

"Huh… Yeah, I guess so. But…"

"If I do something, I need to be sure you know it's always for a good reason. If I tell you something, I need to be certain you'll keep it to yourself."

Sean just nodded, knowing she wasn't really asking him his opinion, but more talking to herself aloud.

"I made decisions, Sean. Because of you, for you. You can't turn your back on me now. Do you understand?"

"I do," he said seriously.

"My father would decimate whoever is a threat. Even his own blood. Asking me was really dangerous for you. How could you even be so sure I was going to accept this pact?"

"Because you're breathing suffering. It's written on your face that you want to end it. Don't need to be a psychic to know that. But instead of ending your life, just end this. And save some people at the same time."

She looked him straight in the eyes, trying to read his mind.

"Also, I have the feeling you deserve a second chance."

Alexandra stopped moving at his answer. Then her eyes went down and away and then left to right. She didn't seem to be able to focus. It seemed like an eternity before Sean broke the silence that had fallen.

"Are you drunk again?"

"No, I'm not."

Sean approached her and she stepped back quickly.

"Of course, you're not! You're just under dope, ain't you?"

"Nope."

"Yes, you are. Your pupils are tight. You're shaking. You feel withdrawal symptoms, don't you?"

"That's none of your business!"

"Of course that is! If we work together, you stop taking those pills and the other drugs you take every day. No more alcohol. You stay clean or there's no alliance. Do you understand me?"

"Who do you think you are?"

"The man who saved you," he replied forcefully.

His angry tone surprised her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…"

She stopped and inhaled slowly to calm down, before trying to speak again.

"Sorry, I… I apologize. I've not been myself for a long time now. Trusting you is a challenge for me. And not an easy one."

"Don't you trust anyone?"

"I've witnessed terrible things, I've seen the darkest side of human beings, and trust me, it's better not knowing what people are capable of doing to survive. Living in drugs land is an excellent remedy to the situation. When you have seen what I've seen, when you have done what I have done, when you have heard what I have heard, believe me, you don't wanna remember it. Hyperthymesia is not a gift..."

"Your hyperthymesia is really annoying, you know?"

"I know, I'm the one living with it everyday... And while we're at it, the one who can remember it every day. So, yes, I know how annoying it sounds."

"It's alright… I guess. As long as you don't kill me."

"That's not gonna happen. Unless you betray me," she reminded him, half joking, half serious.

"Alex?" A cracked voice broke through her walkie-talkie.

"Father?"

"Where are you?"

"Harris' lab."

"Wait for me outside. I'm coming."

Alexandra shot Sean a frightened glance, her lips pressed tightly together.

"I… I'm going out."

"I know."

"Okay."

She was heading to the door when she turned back to him.

"Oh, and, by the way," she added, holding him a memory stick. "I suppose it's yours."

Sean looked to where the device should have been and glanced back to Alexandra, bewildered.

"Why?"

"Like I said, I've not been myself recently," she shrugged.

"Why are you doing this?"

"When you do my job, you know what's valuable in a room the moment you walk in," she explained. "Don't worry, I stole it when I entered earlier. I didn't have a look inside. Don't forget our agreement," she murmured before going out.

"Something's wrong," Sean said aloud, so Lucas could hear him.

"Stay calm."

Lucas' voice was harsh but Sean obeyed, going back to his desk. He didn't stay seated for too long, tough. He couldn't stay still, waiting for Charles' arrival. Sean was pacing nervously when Alexandra eventually came back, closely following her father.

"Mr. Dubois," Sean greeted.

"Harris," Charles replied, holding his hands in the air. "Please, have a seat."

Sean seemed surprised but obediently sat back down.

"Sean, I'm afraid I have some very bad news to tell you."

Lucas could see Sean struggling to breathe properly. Maybe Charles knew. Maybe they had been caught. Maybe he was going to kill him. Or maybe Charles had something totally different to tell him. In any case, Lucas was ready to jump out of his shelter if need be.

"What is it?" Sean asked, trying for a blank tone.

"Sean, we have never talked about your private life, right?"

Sean was fidgeting on his chair.

"No, sir."

"Well, if you had told me you had a wife, maybe we could have protected her better."

"Wha-what?"

"I'm sorry, Sean. But your wife has been found dead in town."

Sean went white, his mouth slightly agape. He was clearly not comprehending what Charles had said. Lucas glanced immediately to Alexandra and noticed her face was neutral. Nothing on her face betrayed her thoughts.

"You… No… She's…"

"Dead. Police called me to inform you."

"You! You did it!" Sean suddenly hollered, standing up so violently that his chair fell down behind him.

"Sean, how can you believe such a thing? We're family. We protect each other!"

"Bloody liar! I'm gonna…" Sean started to threaten Charles before being stopped abruptly by Alexandra. She gripped his arm tightly and pushed him hard against the cupboard, inches away from Lucas. She pressed him forcefully against the door, glaring at him.

"Don't you ever accuse my father again. He's the one who gave you a job when you had none. He's the one who fed you when you were starving. We DO NOT harm family," she insisted, pressing on every word. "Do you understand?"

Sean nodded slightly, quite shocked.

"Alex, sweetheart, let him go," Charles commanded her without conviction.

"Show him respect!" Alexandra warned him before releasing him.

"Sean, my dear, Sean. I'm sorry to hear you believe that I would hurt the ones you love. It's sadness that makes you say such a thing. I understand. You need to grieve. I've been there myself. I'm gonna leave you alone so you have plenty of time to mourn on your own."

"Sir," Sean intervened before Charles could leave. "Where… How did she… How did it happen?"

"Well, it appears that it was a payback for the attack yesterday. They wanted to punish us for their losses. They probably found out about her… Those rebellious… They are barbaric. We'll make them pay. Like my daughter said, we do not allow people to hurt our family. I promise you that the guilty ones will be found and punished for what they've done to you."

"I'm gonna stay here," Alex said firmly.

"Are you? And why would you do that?"

Alexandra walked to her father before answering. Only Lucas could hear them.

"I'm going to keep an eye on him," she replied coldly, glaring icily to Sean.

"Well, well, well, who's there and what did she do to my daughter?" He chuckled silently.

"I want to be sure his work is done properly."

"Looks like you're in good hands, Mr. Harris," Charles grinned proudly. "Alexandra, meet me in two hours. I'm meeting a new client. It's a first reunion only, but I want you in."

"Russians?"

"Russians."

Once Charles was gone, Sean raced to Alexandra.

"He did it, didn't he? Or you did? Did you? Did you do it? Was that the kind of thing you did for me?"

"My father found you quite strange lately. Few weeks ago, he asked me to follow you."

Sean was staring at her and she was holding his stare. Since Sean didn't say a single word, Alexandra continued her revelation.

"I knew about Hannah before you told me about it. I knew about your secret. So did my father. And we both knew you couldn't afford it. Unless you tried something against us. Charles thought you could be a problem. He was going to wait for you to finish your work on the portals before getting rid of you. But with the attack yesterday, he was sure you were part of it. He wanted to end it now."

"Meaning?"

"After the attack, he asked me to kill Hannah while you were here, working for us."

"You? You!" Sean's voice was hysterical.

"I'm sorry, Sean," she blurted out. "I needed you to believe she was dead."

"Needed to believe?" He repeated blankly.

"You're such a bad liar!" She explained again.

"Wha-What?"

"She ain't dead, okay?"

"What do you mean? What do you…"

"She's alive. No one killed her. I told my father I would do it. I told him no one could betray us and live happily ever after."

"You're lying. Just like your father."

"You said I should trust you. Now, it's your turn to trust me. I took care of it myself."

Sean stared thoughtfully at the cupboard, weighing the pros and cons. Lucas had said Alexandra was someone he could rely on. However, she was ready to betray her own father. What kind of daughter could do that? _The kind of daughter whose parents have betrayed her first, lying to her her whole life, _he told himself.

"She's in a safe place. I promise."

"Prove it."

"I can't."

"Can I see her?"

She shook her head from side to side, her expression showing how sorry she was.

"It's for her safety. For yours."

"I need to know she's fine. I need to tell her everything."

"I'll do it. I swear."

"But…"

"Sean…"

"No! I said I was on your side! I said I trusted you. What else do you need?"

"Do you believe in fate? Because I do. I know someone who truly believes that it's the choices we make that decide what our life is. But I think it's destiny. I think it was destiny that made you come and talk to me before I could harm her. If you had not come and talked to me… I don't know what I would have done to her. I mean, I don't think that… Because of her… You know. And I'm glad I will never find out if I could have been capable of such a horrible thing."

Lucas' mind was racing. He was sure she was talking about him. And she was right. He had never believed in destiny. But his encounter with her had changed his life a long time ago. And with his experience with time fracture, somehow, he had started to believe some things were already written. Above all now he knew that his presence had created everything. He was the reason why Sean's wife was still alive. Because he had pushed Sean to go and see Alexandra that precise night. He had no idea this simple discussion would bring so much. He had no idea he had saved more than Alexandra's life that night.

"That son of a bitch is dead."

"Sean, focus! Our fight starts now. He started it. This is it."

"Do you know what it's like to love someone and to be separated from that same person? It's not a life, it's survival! I need to see her."

"Don't go there Sean."

"Do you even know what love is? Your heart seems as hard as stone."

His remark seemed to trigger something in her. She looked at him with a strange expression on her face.

"I've learnt to live half alive. You will too. For you, it's only temporary."

"Where's your other half?" Sean dared to ask.

"In the past."

"You're talking about Lucas Taylor, right?"

Lucas was boiling in his cupboard. Half of him wanted to know her answer, the other half thought it was totally ridiculous and dangerous to ask her that kind of question. He was going to reveal their secret.

"I'm not discussing my private life with you."

"The rumors say that you risked your life to save him."

"You shouldn't listen to rumors."

"Also, I've heard that he betrayed Charles because of you."

"Sean, for God's sake, what are you playing at?"

"I'm not playing. I'm just trying to discern what's in your mind. To know who you really are under this armor."

"What do you know about him anyway?" She asked with disdain and suspicion.

"I know he's the kind of guy I would hate," Sean chuckled. "But I know he's the kind of guy who wouldn't let you stay away from him too long."

"You know nothing."

"No, wait. Would you do the same for Lucas?"

Alexandra stepped aback, surprised.

"What?"

"You love him, right?"

"I… The situation is different. It's different. It was. I mean, it was different. But it's over now anyway."

"You want him to be safe. You care for him."

"Stop analyzing me."

"When you love someone, you believe in that person. You don't need proof. You can feel it. Is it what you feel for him?"

The time seemed to stand still in the air during that moment before Alexandra eventually answered.

"You would do anything for Hannah, right?"

"Yes."

"Anything, even risk your life, even die to save her?"

"Of course."

"Then you know how I feel for Lucas."

Lucas felt his heart tighten at her answer. She had never stopped loving him. Not after everything he had done to her. Not even after he failed to save her. Her heart still belonged to him.

"Hannah won't understand."

"She will. She will understand she has to. For her safety and yours."

"I won't. I need her with me."

"I can assure you, you'll survive this."

"How do you deal with Lucas' absence?"

Alexandra frowned, obviously annoyed with Sean for talking about Lucas so much. They had not been allies for a long time. Lucas could feel she didn't like it, and neither did he. His private life was private. He had never liked to talk about it. He had always wanted to preserve it. It was another common point with Alexandra. They both like to keep their intimacy to themselves.

"Life sucks. Can't help it."

"Come on, if you have spied us, you know how much Hannah means to me."

"Lucas is safe. That is all that matters. I want him to stay away from me, from my father... From the pain he'll have to deal with if we meet again."

"You don't believe it, not really. I will never give up on Hannah. Lucas would never give up on you. I bet he's looking for you right now."

"Don't talk about things you don't know about."

"I just want a second chance. For her. Someone who really loves someone else would do anything he could to keep that person alive."

"You'll stay away from her, to keep her alive," she replied honestly. "And you'll have it. I'll give you that second chance. I swear to you. Everyone has a weak spot. And my father found yours. Don't forget that, never underestimate him."

"I'm smart. He won't hurt me twice."

"He's smart, just like you, but a lot more devious. Fortunately for us, even the smartest ones have a weakness."

"Even a genius?"

Lucas saw her make a strange face at his question. Was he the genius Sean was talking about? Or was he still talking about Charles?

"Even a genius."

"Even you?"

"Even me."

"Even Lucas?"

"We are not having this conversation again," she cut him off firmly. "I don't want to talk about it. The past is the past. Stop bringing it back up. Now, I need to go. But later, we'll talk about our plan. First, an essential question: are you ready to destroy my father's enterprise?"

"I'm ready."

"Yeah?"

"100 percent sure."

"Then, we have a deal. Together, we'll save the new world."

* * *

><p>Feel the music, Feel the story<p>

"_If you feel so empty, so used up, so let down. If you feel so angry, so ripped off so stepped on. You're not the only one refusing to back down. You're not the only one so get up. Let's start a riot, a riot. Let's start a riot. If you feel so filthy, so dirty so fucked up. If you feel so walked on, so painful so pissed off. You're not the only one refusing to go down. You're not the only one, so get up_." Riot – Three Days Grace


	76. Back in time

Last chapter in the dome! Terra Nova, here we come!

* * *

><p><strong>Back in time<strong>

"Now that I'm sure that you and Alex are both on the same side, here is your research on the cure," Lucas explained, handing him some dirty and curvy papers. "Finish it."

"I did that?" Sean wondered, perplexed. "It's not in my handwriting. How did you get this? I thought you said you had never been here before?"

"Alex wrote it."

"That girl and her talent…" Sean murmured, shaking his head. "She is so annoying."

"Annoyingly smart," Lucas smiled.

"I'm quite surprised I did what you said. Are you sure I did this?"

"Stop complaining."

"I mean, I'm not a really good biologist."

"Well, you probably are because you did..."

"If you say so…"

"Hang on."

"What?"

"Wait!" Lucas ordered him, his hand in the air to silence him.

"But..."

"Wait, wait, wait! The portals... The codes... The radiation... The cure... It's me!"

"Excuse me, but I'm lost. I didn't study Taylor's language at school."

"Of course! You're not a genius. I am!"

"Okay, that, I understood."

"Don't you see? You're good when it comes to nerd stuff. High jacking is your thing. But I'm the one who's skilled with the time fracture. I made portals. And I have a degree in science. I'm very smart when it comes to biology."

Lucas was talking very fast in an excited voice.

"It's crystal clear now! I am the one who created all of this. I helped you build those portals. That's why it was so easy for me to build some new ones in Terra Nova! I'm the one who worked on the cure! I'm the one who saved her!"

As Sean was staring at him dumbly, Lucas continued his explanations. It was as much for Sean to understand the situation as it was for Lucas to express his theory out loud.

"You told Alex that you had almost found the cure, that you needed a few more days to finish the combination. But the truth is, the cure was already finished. You were just waiting for her to walk through the portal and leave 2150!"

"So, what you're saying is... That you did everything here before it even happens because you already knew it would happen because it had happened already."

"In a kind of twisted way, yes, it is."

Lucas was so excited by this revelation. Suddenly everything made sense and the questions that were torturing him were finally answered. He felt a lot more confident than he was before. Now, he was sure that everything would be okay.

During the month that followed, Lucas helped Sean with his work. He told him exactly what was going to happen in few months and how he was supposed to react to it. But he also gave Sean a lot of tips to help Alexandra to get clean. In fact, Lucas was quite well versed on dependencies, and he always managed to get by.

Alexandra and Sean had created a plan to destroy the different portals, and Alexandra was gone for her first mission in Germany for two days when, one night, the famous red light started to flicker again. As usual, Lucas ran to hide in the cupboard. The door swung open and a stumbling Alexandra entered the room.

"What's going on, Alex?" Sean asked, worried. "Are you okay?"

"I..." Alexandra started to answer, then she nearly collapsed on the floor, but was stopped by Sean who immediately helped her stay on her feet.

"Are you hurt?"

"Yeah," she grimaced.

"Where?"

"Left shoulder, right knee..."

"Aargh," she whined when he touched the wound.

"The cut is deep!"

"I know, I was there."

"What happened?"

"I got shot. The bullet passed through the flesh without touching the nerves."

"And your knee?"

"I fell down…"

"In stairs?"

"From a window… But I didn't break the kneecap. It was just dislocated."

Sean's face decomposed in shock, making Alexandra sighed.

"Can you sew it or not?"

"No problem. Take your clothes off," he commanded her as he reached the closet to grab some utensils and medicine. Lucas glared at him silently when he opened the door.

"You're very direct," Alexandra bantered.

"I know," Sean replied, smiling to Lucas. "It's what people say."

Lucas gritted his teeth with anger. This guy was pissing him off. If Sean had not been so important in his plan, he would have kicked his ass a long time ago.

"Yeah… Some guys are like that."

Her tone was sad and it made Sean's grin vanish.

"Alex, what is it?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry, Sean. Everything is fine," she forced a smile.

"Alex, don't do this to me. You know you don't have to lie to me. It's not good for you to shut your feelings off for so long. Sometimes you need to express them. I'm here when you need to."

"Thanks," she smiled sadly. "But I'm alright. It's just those bloody Germans who almost got me. But the job is done."

Sean opened the medical kit and started to clean her wound.

"You look skinnier than before," he noted with a frown.

"Keep your eyes on my cut will you?"

"Are you eating properly?"

"Sean, the cut. Focus."

"Okay… How's Hannah?" Sean asked, like he did every time Alexandra was around.

"She's doing well. She said you have to stop worrying about her."

"I just hope everything is gonna be fine."

"I promised you. She'll be fine. They'll take care of her. Terra Nova is a good place to live in."

"I still think you should come with us."

Lucas froze at Sean's comment. Sean had not told Lucas that Alexandra had said she wanted to stay here. Since when had Sean started to keep secrets from him? And when had they discussed the fact that Hannah and Sean would go to Terra Nova? Only now, Lucas realized that Sean had talked to Alexandra alone. But, of course, he had been stupid to think they would not meet elsewhere.

"I can't do that," she shook her head. "I'm going to keep the last device for you and then I end it."

"I'm sure you could find a way to end it and come with us."

"I have no one waiting for me there."

"Even Lucas?"

"Even Lucas," she said sadly. She seemed to think about something and suddenly said, "I'll have to kill him, you know that, right?"

"Your father?" he asked, stunned.

"He won't let us go. He won't let me go. Once every key is destroyed, I'll have to end this. And it ends with my father's death."

"But then… You won't be able to go back there?"

"Terra Nova needs to be protected. People need to stay safe in there. I won't let my father hurt them again. I don't want him to think he owns me. I'll give him nothing. He has already taken too much from me."

"You should come," Sean insisted.

"No. My family has already done too much. I don't think they'd be glad to see me again. This is how it's supposed to end. I'll finish it and assume my burden."

"You don't have to," he stated. "Alex, you are a good soul. Your heart is pure. You can't kill your father. That is not you, you can't do that."

"What am I then? I'm here for a reason and there's only one I can see. I have to defeat my father."

"He'll kill you if he has too."

"That's who my father is. He destroys the things you love, so he can get the things he wants. I won't let him go near Terra Nova. Never. I was never meant to live a normal life, and I couldn't even if I wanted to. Not until I get revenge. I'm here to finish this fight."

"Then, I'll stay to help you."

"This cause is mine, not yours. You don't have to fight for it."

"It's too late, I'm already in it."

"I should have never asked you for help."

"Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, Alex. On the contrary, it's a sign of humility. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are. And I'll find a way to send you to Terra Nova. You'll be safe there. You'll have a home."

"You know, I've come to the opinion that home is where the heart is. I'm home wherever Hannah is."

"Well, there's no one waiting for me. I'm homeless. Besides there's no reason for me to go back to Terra Nova."

"What about the people you left behind?"

She stayed silent, her eyes getting suddenly somber.

"You know, sometimes you have to stay away from the ones you love to protect them."

"And what should I tell them? Tell him? What am I going to tell him when he asks me why you ain't there, huh?""

Alexandra didn't need Sean to explain who _him_ was, and neither did Lucas.

"Tell them I missed them. Tell him... Tell him it was for the best. That... That I did it to protect the ones I love. He'll understand."

"You shouldn't have to do it. It's unfair."

"I told you. I was not supposed to have a happy life. It's fate."

This time, Lucas was agreeing with Alexandra. It was her destiny to stay here. But what she didn't know was that destiny was going to bring her back to him in Terra Nova. Fate was going to decide for her. And for the first time in his life, Lucas was thrilled about it.

"My destiny was written the moment I was born. I was meant to put a stop to my parents' destructive ways. I thank God for the time he granted me already. I'm thankful for the great people I met."

"I'll explain how brave you've been," Sean said sadly. "I promise."

"You're a great man, Sean. You deserve a great life… I misjudged you."

"I misjudged you too. You're a good person."

"I guess we're both humans after all," she smiled warmly.

"Done," Sean exclaimed happily. "Do you want me to look at your knee?"

"No, thanks. It's fine," Alexandra answered, pulling her shirt back on over her head. "Sean, wait," she called him back as he walked to the cupboard to put away the medical kit.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to take this."

"What is it?"

"It's the geographical coordinates of Hannah's exact location."

"No, I don't want it. You said…"

"Sean, just take it. Just in case. If things go wrong and something happens to me. If one day I don't come back… You read it, then you burn it. Okay?"

"Okay," he replied reluctantly.

Listening to their conversation made it clear to Lucas that it was time for him to leave. Now, he was not needed anymore. Unwillingly, Lucas decided that it was time for him to go back to Terra Nova. For a couple of reasons. First, he could not stay in this cupboard forever. The place was way too narrow to live in. Second, Sean and Alexandra were obviously taking care of each other. And even if it was annoying him, he knew he had to let them experience their lives on their own. To let them reinforce their relationship.

Once Alexandra was bandaged and gone, Lucas walked up to Sean, his face determined.

"These are the calculations to arrive at Terra Nova the day Alexandra will leave. I will wait for you at this exact moment, at this exact place. You must take the cure with you. Do you hear me?"

"What? Are you leaving now?"

"Do you hear me?"

"Did I do something wrong? I was joking, you know, about her, naked… I didn't mean to…"

"Sean, do you?"

"But…"

"Do you understand?" He insisted vigorously.

"Yes."

"Good. It's time for me to go. Take care of her, but do not talk to her about the future. Do not warn her about the danger of her missions. Do absolutely nothing to change what's going to happen. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you. I'll do my best."

"That's not enough. You have to do it right or she'll die. You are the only chance she's got, don't ruin it. She said she trusted you, so I believe you can do it."

"I'll do it," Sean replied, sure of himself. "I'm going to save her and bring her back to you, safe and sound."

Lucas nodded and left. He walked back to the room in the basement of Hope Plaza. He put his own clothes back on and grabbed the device that was in his pocket.

"It's gonna work," he reassured himself. "Five minutes to wait and I'll have the cure. Five minutes that will determine my entire life. Damn it, I hope this jerk is as clever as he pretends to be," he eventually groaned. Lucas took a last deep breath of the dome's thick air and opened the portal, stepping in immediately.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story.<p>

"_It's funny how, the walk of life can take you down without a fight. So many years can leave behind regretfully until it's time to realize the moment when you turn around. I'm coming home to breathe again, to start again. I'm coming home from all the places I have been, with nothing but a voice within that calls me… Calls me home. Back in the day when I was younger, I was so lost and proud. I've gained the world but it will never compare to what I've earned in the quiet moment when the earth holds still."_ Calls me home - Shannon LaBrie

* * *

><p>Okay, bye bye 2150! Hello Terra Nova! I'm quite excited now! I missed Terra Nova a bit, didn't you? Can't wait for you to find out what's gonna happen to our characters. See you for chapter 77!<p> 


	77. Infinite

OMG. It has been a month already since chapter 76! So sorry, I was on holidays. Here is chapter 77! Terra Nova, here we come!

* * *

><p><strong>Infinite<strong>

When Lucas walked out of the portal, the healthy and light air of Terra Nova was like a cold slap in his face. The mass of oxygen, that his body was not used to anymore, made him dizzy. But his survival instinct kept him from falling down.

"Are you alright?" Damon asked eagerly.

"Yeah."

"Let's go then," Damon hurried him.

"No, we have to wait for the cure."

"What?"

"We have to wait for Sean."

"You don't have the cure? Why?"

"It needed to be tested on her blood. We had to wait for her to be infected."

"This is so…"

"Shut up, Damon! I know what I'm doing, okay?"

Damon tightened his jaw in frustration, his eyes burning with irritation.

"How long?"

"Five minutes."

Lucas stayed motionless while staring at the empty space in front of him, waiting for the third portal to open, while Damon was pacing annoyingly behind him, grumbling. Minutes were passing by slower than Lucas and Damon wished them to go. Five minutes seemed like an eternity before, finally, a crack in the air broke the silence that had fallen over them and a blue circle appeared where Lucas had planned for the portal to open. Both of them held their guns in its direction, ready to shoot if needed. Surprise overcame them when, where they were expecting to see Sean, a non confident woman appeared, a rounded mass under her coat.

"Don't move! Put your hands up!" They both shouted.

The scared woman looked afraid but didn't hold her hands in the air. At the opposite, she kept her arms protectively around her body with difficulty. She was obviously struggling to stay still.

"Are you Lucas Taylor?" She blurted out.

"Who are you?" Lucas interrogated her.

"Are you Lucas Taylor? Yes or no?" She almost screamed.

"Who the hell are you?" Lucas insisted.

"I'm Hannah. Hannah Harris. I'm Sean's wife."

Lucas made a strange face and glanced at Damon who was still staring at the form under her coat.

"What's under your vest?" Damon inquired firmly, his gun still pointed in her direction.

"I… Are you… Wait! It's not what you think," she suddenly defended herself, understanding the confusion she had created. "It's not a bomb!"

"Open it, slowly," Lucas commanded her, his rifle's sight locked on her.

Shakily, the woman reached for the buttons and undid them. Lucas and Damon froze when they saw what she was protecting. Tied around a big rounded belly, were 15 tubes with a light blue liquid inside.

"You're pregnant?" Lucas wondered aloud, more to himself than to her. Because it was obvious she was not long away from the term.

"I am. Are you Lucas?"

"I am."

"Are those flasks the cure?" Damon questioned bluntly.

"Yes."

"Can you walk?" He asked quickly.

"I think so."

"Follow us," he continued roughly.

She looked at Lucas who was still staring at her belly. Hannah was not sure if his eyes were on her belly or the tubes, but his face reflected annoyance. Or was it surprise? She didn't wait for an answer and started to walk to the rhino that was waiting for them. Once they were all inside, Damon turned on the engine and drove quickly to the colony. Lucas' eyebrows were furrowed tightly as his mind was racing.

"Sean gave me this," Hannah started to say, looking for something in her pocket. "There."

Lucas took the folded paper while his eyes darted once again to the woman's body, before starting to read the message Sean had written for him.

"_Lucas, _

_Here is the cure I promised to bring to you. I've respected our deal and let Alexandra be exposed to the radiation. I tested it and it's working. I did my part of the job. Now it's your turn. _

_I know I said I would come with the cure so you would let me have a second chance in Terra Nova. But it's not the deal I made with Alex. I couldn't leave Hannah behind. I gave her the cure so the one you love will survive. Now, it's your turn to do me a favor. Take care of Hannah. I think you can do this for me. I know it's what you would have done for Alex._

_You asked me to trust you. I do. Don't deceive me._

_Sean._

_PS: Charles is looking for you. But I did one of my favorite nerd things you love so much. I hacked the last portal. He thinks he's just behind Hannah, but he and his army will arrive in 100 days. That's all I could delay. Prepare your people. There is war coming."_

Lucas remained lost in his thoughts the whole way back. Damon glanced at him many times, worried.

"Is there a problem? Is there a problem with the cure? Lucas!"

Hannah was starting to worry too as she had no idea what her husband had written on the paper.

"He said that she needs to take one flask everyday for 15 days," Hannah explained. "He said you need to inject the liquid directly into her veins."

"I know," Lucas answered simply.

At one point, Lucas eventually grabbed his walkie-talkie and turned it on.

"Mark? Mark, if you're there, pick up the bloody…"

A crack cut him off in his sentence.

"You don't need to be such an ass," Mark joked.

"I have the cure with me," Lucas said bluntly. "Go and tell Elisabeth we'll be there in less than five minutes."

"I'm gone," Mark said in a very serious tone.

"Mark!"

"Yeah?"

"There's a pregnant woman with us. Ask the nurses to be there too."

"O-Okay," Mark replied, surprised. He wanted to ask where the hell Lucas had found a pregnant woman on his way but knew he had no time for that.

Hannah gave him a grateful smile, even if he didn't look at her. She believed that he was kinder than he looked.

When the rhino arrived near the colony, the gate was open. They quickly entered the colony where Elisabeth and a few nurses were waiting for them. And so were Taylor and Mark.

"Gimme your belt," Lucas ordered Hannah once the car had stopped. She obediently detached it and gave it to him.

"Good luck," she murmured.

Lucas wanted to tell her that luck had nothing to do with science. He wanted to tell her that Sean had been utterly stupid to let her come. He wanted to tell her so many horrible things. But, strangely, he couldn't. Something in what Sean had written was stopping him. Something about his deal with Alexandra. His deal with her, not him.

Lucas gave the medicine to Elisabeth and rushed with her to the infirmary, explaining the method on their way, while the nurses were helping Hannah to walk out of the car.

"Lieutenant?" Taylor inquired.

"He has the cure," Damon answered. "How's Alex?"

"Still in coma. But the fever has been stabilized."

Damon nodded, his lips tightly pressed together.

"She's gonna survive," Taylor affirmed, his hand squeezing his shoulder in a fatherly way.

"She better," Damon said before heading to the infirmary too.

Once in Alexandra's bedroom, Elisabeth injected the liquid into her arm almost immediately. In vain, she had hoped it would do something. She knew it couldn't be that rapid, yet she wished it was. She had never wanted a medicine to work so much.

"Okay… Now, I guess… We'll just have to wait and see," she sighed.

"How is she doing?" Damon asked eagerly when he rejoined them.

"The first injection is done. One per day. Fifteen days to wait for. We'll have to be patient."

"Patient…" Lucas repeated blankly, his gaze lost once again far beyond Alexandra's immobile body. He sat next to her bed, his hands reaching for hers. She seemed so fragile, it was hurting him.

"I would follow you to the end of the earth. So you better come back soon. Because I won't quit until you wake up. I won't," he murmured forcefully to her ear.

It took three days before Alexandra's body showed amelioration and her fever broke completely. On the fourth day, her hand moved into Lucas' one. Then, miraculously, she seemed to wake up on the seventh day. Her eyes fluttered open and a huge beam appeared on Lucas' face, his green eyes lightening in joy.

"Hello you," he murmured with a smile. "How do you feel?"

She put both her hands on his cheeks and smiled sadly.

"You're here..."

"You sound surprised," he smiled lightly.

She didn't answer but started crying in silence instead, grimacing like she was suffering.

"Hey, sweetheart! Why are you crying? Are you in pain?"

"I'm so sorry..." She shook her head, crying even more.

"Darling, it's okay."

"No, it's not. You're dead and it's my fault," she whined.

"Dead? I'm not dead!"

"Are we all dead?" She continued as tears flooded along her cheeks. "Did they all die?"

"Honey, we ain't dead. You're at the infirmary. You're alive."

"But I… You…"

"It's Terra Nova. It's home."

"I died… And then…"

"Alex, I'm here, for real. You're here with me. Alive."

Lucas could see how lost she was but couldn't help her realize she was not in a kind of nightmare.

"I feel so... so, " she shut her eyes but continued crying, her breathing quickening.

The beep of her heart rate monitor started to accelerate. Lucas turned his head to the open door for help.

"Dr. Shannon! Dr. Shannon, she's incoherent! Something's wrong."

Elisabeth arrived almost immediately. She was never really far from Alexandra, always checking on her.

"Let me see," Elisabeth said, verifying her medical plex. "No, she's fine. The fever is down. What happened?"

"She was awake and then, then she was acting like… She thinks we're all dead."

"Lucas, I told you that coming back from a coma takes time. I guess she's having day nightmares. She's in between. Not sleeping, but not really awake. But she's fine. And, it's a good sign. Her brain is not damaged and she's not in a coma anymore. Give her more time, the antidote needs two weeks before she shows real amelioration."

Lucas wanted the usual light in her eyes to come back. He had never thought he could miss her talking that much. And now, the only words that had come out of her mouth were close to sheer madness.

Lucas spent the rest of the day watching her, hoping she would wake up again. But nothing happened. She still mumbled inaudible things and moaned in pain, but she didn't wake up. Neither did she the day after that.

Taylor, like everyone else, used to come to check on her and on Lucas every day. It saddened him to see his son suffering like he was. But he was hopeful as Dr. Shannon had informed him that Alexandra was doing better. Taylor remembered his talk with his son the night he had come back.

"_Son, you know you should have told me, right?"_

"_And what would you have told me? Huh? Don't do it?" He had answered with a smile._

"_Do you really think I don't know you? I was sure you would do it. With or without my permission."_

_"Father, I know you as well. I was certain you wouldn't let me go. So why bother asking or talking about it?"_

Lucas. His son. He always had the last word. And as annoying as this could be, Taylor couldn't be more proud of him. He was stronger than the boy he had banished many years before. He had become a man. Someone people could trust. Someone people could rely on. Someone people could respect. Of course, Taylor was not that blind. He also knew his son was arrogant, undisciplined, and the first to break the rules. Yet, he had become a good man. And Ayani would be proud of him. He was certain.

During Alexandra's coma, Taylor, Jim and Damon had worked hard on figuring out every piece of information Hannah had given them. They had discussed with Lucas, but he was not really inclined to talk as long as Alexandra was not awake. And anyway, he used to cut off every conversation with: "_We have plenty of time to organize our defense_". Lucas was right, Sean had managed to give them more time to prepare themselves. Yet, 100 days were not that much and they needed to think about a strategy.

All Taylor was hoping was that Alexandra would wake up soon, so Lucas could be himself again. And the sooner, the better.

On the tenth day, Alexandra seemed to fully awaken from her trance. This time, Lucas didn't jump in excitement. He was very careful. He didn't want to be disappointed again.

"What am I… I…", she tried to express a question, her hands reaching for her head as the pain seemed to linger.

"Just take it easy, Love. Drugs are still wearing off."

She tried to swallow but her mouth was dry. With no need to ask aloud, Lucas was there, holding a glass of water for her. She sipped the water slowly, collecting her thoughts.

"What did you do Lucas?" She whispered her eyes half shut.

"I did what I do the best, I did a genius thing!" He smiled, happy to hear her talking normally.

"Boaster," she said in a croaky voice. His grin widened. She was back.

"How are you feeling?" Lucas asked her, his hand still holding hers.

"Alive," she replied groggily.

"Don't you ever do that again," Lucas scolded her gently.

He was just so relieved that she was alive, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to forgive her the scare she had put him through. He had really thought that she was going to leave him again. And waiting for ten days before being able to talk to her again had made him think a lot about the situation, about her decisions, about his decisions. Not including the weeks when he had seen her but not spoken to her. For weeks he got to observe her, to see her evolution, but he could not approach her, touch her, comfort her. They were the hardest weeks of his life. He had realized he needed her too much to let her do whatever she wanted to. He would restrain her if he had to. He would not risk losing her again. And he would do whatever he had to to protect her.

"Yes," she promised.

"Good."

"You were worried," she murmured, managing a weak smile.

"Of course I was! No one's here to pollute my air with chatty talks all the time," he teased.

"Liar…"

"Yeah… My life would suck without you in it," he admitted before placing a deep kiss on her forehead. "I missed you."

"Lucas," she murmured.

"Yes?"

"I feel tired…"

"You need to rest."

"Hmmm-Hmmm," she nodded, already asleep.

"I'll come back later."

"Lucas?" She suddenly call, fully awake.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, Lucas. I'm truly sorry."

"What for?"

"I know how much I hurt you by giving up so easily. I promise you it won't happen again, never. I'll be stronger."

"I know you're strong. You even showed strength I didn't know you were capable of. Honestly Alex, you're the strongest person I have ever met in my life. I swear to you, you couldn't disappoint me even if you tried."

"You told me to hold on and I wasn't strong enough to do it. But you were persuaded you could do it and you did it. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. You were there when I needed you the most and…" Her voice dropped at the realization of what would have happened if he had failed, what it would have meant. She would have died and Lucas would have felt guilty for all of eternity.

"That's what love is all about, isn't it?"

"Lucas, I need to apologize because I'm really sorry. I have not been supportive. I didn't trust you enough and… I let you down when you needed me. I gave up. I gave up on you. I mean, I was so weary, broken. I wanted to die. I wish I could say it was the radioactivity talking but it was not. I… It's just… I didn't want to trust you and I'm really sorry I caused you pain."

Lucas could see how much sorry she was and his previous anger about her decisions dropped dead. He loved her too much to stay irritated with her.

"You have supported me since we first met. You carried us all the way, you helped me, you were there for me even when I wanted you to go away. I think it's fair enough I help you now. You can't always be strong for both of us. It was my time, that's all."

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered, a tear at the corner of her eyes threatening to fall down.

"You are the best thing that has ever been mine. I won't ruin everything."

This time, she could not stop the tear from falling down. Neither could she stop the many tears that followed. Lucas delicately put his hands around her face and wiped her wet cheeks with his thumbs.

"Courage is not having the strength to go on. It is going on when you don't have the strength. It's what Theodore Roosevelt said."

"Since when are you quoting dead presidents?" She chuckled between two sobs.

"I had some spare time lately," he joked.

She chuckled tiredly and grinned.

"I'm gonna sleep now, I think."

"Sleep well love."

"You'll stay here?" She murmured in a whisper.

"I don't have anywhere else to go."

Alexandra didn't wake up until midnight. When her eyes opened, Hannah was standing next to her, smiling warmly.

"Hannah," Alexandra smiled sleepily, holding her hand to her rounded belly. "You're here."

"Yeah," Hannah smiled in return. "Thanks to you. Thanks to Lucas."

"That's great," she whispered. "Baby's alright?" She mumbled, fighting to stay awake.

"Yeah, he's fine. How are you feeling?"

"Good, I think. Tired, a bit."

"I really don't see why," Hannah mocked.

"Me neither… Where's Sean?" She suddenly seemed to remember she had not seen him yet.

"He's not here," Hannah replied with sadness.

"Is he…"

"No!," she said vigorously. "I hope not… He gave me his place to come here. I brought the cure with me."

"I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure he'll find a way to come back to you," Alexandra promised forcefully, her eyes very serious.

"You're right," Hannah nodded.

"Alex? Right? That would be a first," Lucas interrupted them with a smirk.

"Shut up!" They both cut him off. Alexandra smiled at Hannah. She had learned to love the woman and had found out how similar they were. Hannah had a strong personality, but she was generous, kind, and optimistic. She was really happy that she was here and that she would deliver her baby in good conditions.

"You're very aggressive," Lucas teased.

"And you haven't seen anything yet," Hannah grinned. "Alex, I'll come back later to see you."

"Take care."

"You too."

Lucas waited for Hannah to leave the room before sitting down on the bed next to Alexandra. He looked at her, his eyes full of mischief.

"What?"

"I'm trying to figure out how much you know about all of this."

"Meaning?"

"I'm the key of everything," he said seriously, staring at her.

She held his stare, her face suddenly more serious.

"When did you realize it?"

"And you, when did you?"

Her mouth opened in reflex, but she didn't try to deny it.

"When you asked me if I was working for my father. I realized you knew nothing about 2150. At that precise moment, I understood you had not been there already."

"Why did you not tell me about it? Or give me hints?"

"I wasn't sure. I mean, you never told me you had been in 2150. So there were three theories only. The first theory was that you had been there and you didn't want to tell me. In that case, I didn't know what to do about it. My second guess was that you had never been there, meaning that Sean had lied to me. Which was like being stabbed in the back. And my last idea was that you had been there, but not yet. Not for you. In any case, I couldn't tell you about it. It was such a headache to think about the consequences. If I had told you that I had seen you back in 2150 and that you didn't know about it, maybe you would have never done what you did. I needed to let you believe you had some control."

"Have you forgotten that I am a genius?"

"Honestly, Lucas. How could I have told you that everything was already written without making you change the story, change what you were supposed to do. I wasn't even sure I understood all of it. The time fracture is way too complicated to not end up with a huge headache and a lot of uncertainty. I've been filled with doubts all the time. Am I doing right? Should I say this or that? Is it something I would do or say if I didn't know? Is he too close? Am I too far? I swear to you, I would have told you if I had been sure it would help you."

"I know. And I know you did the right thing. You really did."

"So, you're not angry, are you?"

"No. Not at all."

Suddenly, a mischievous grin started to spread on Lucas' face.

"What did Sean tell you when he talked to you that famous night."

"He said you would kill him if he let me die. I thought it was exactly the kind of threat you would say."

"Really?"

"I told you he said something that reminded me of you! And, of course, he told me about Hannah. How they met, how hard it had been to live together, how much life hit them. And he told me how happy and scared he had been when she had announced that she was pregnant. Why he worked for my father, why he needed an escape from this world, how much he wanted their child to have a chance. That was what gave me the strength to fight my father, for that little life," she smiled. "He really wished for her and the baby to be safe. He knew I would never let them die."

"You were not exactly who you really are."

"You know how I am when I have the feeling I can trust someone. I believed what he said. It was quite comforting to think he was telling the truth."

Alexandra smiled at the memory of how distressed she was and how Sean's announcement had turned her deep sadness into slight hope.

"But I also knew he could be lying to me. It could have been a trap. However, I was sure about one important thing. He was right about my father. I could not let him win. I had to fight him. What was the point of losing my life if it had not helped a cause? And I wanted to protect you, all of you. Even if I was disgusted with myself, I wanted to do one last thing right."

"And you did."

"How did you know it would work? Sean, the cure, the portals…"

"I knew it because, like you noticed before, your father had not attacked us the second you arrived here. It meant that something or someone had stopped him. I guessed it had something to do with me, finding a cure for you. But it was Sean. Actually, I was not totally wrong, because he did highjack the portal because of me, of you, for you, for Hannah. To give us time to prepare our defense, to give Hannah time to give birth, to give us time to live."

"You really are amazing."

"No, you are amazing…"

Alexandra felt her heart tighten. Lucas had been so good to her. She loved him so much and she was so grateful that he had saved her. She wanted to find the right words to tell him exactly what her feelings were.

"I've heard once that to love is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything. And you're everything to me Lucas. Everything."

Lucas' eyes shone and a smile appeared on his face.

"I love you too," he said before kissing her gently on her lips for the first time in days, but for him, it was a question of months. And it fell so good that nothing would have taken him higher at that time. She would be fine. She would be with him, alive. Lucas had succeeded, his plan had worked greatly. For the first time in a long time, he was more than proud about his cleverness. He was a genius and it had saved Alexandra's life. The moment seemed perfect and they both wished it could last forever.

* * *

><p>Lucas, THE smartest guy ever! :) Let me know what you think about this reunion!<p> 


	78. You are the one

Hi everyone! It's been months since I wrote! So sorry! Actually, it's been months since I wrote anything! I have a tiny excuse: I'm pregnant! And the thing is, since August, when I had spare time, the only thing I wanted to do was sleep! No energy at all for writing. But here I am again and I want to finish the story I started. My love for writing is back! Just like me!

So, welcome to the new followers! I hope you'll all enjoy this new chapter. And don't hesitate to leave me a review. I'd like to hear what you thought about it!

* * *

><p><strong>You are the one<strong>

Since she had woken up, people had come to spend time with Alexandra. Jim, Maddy and Mark, Skye and Josh, Elisabeth, even Tom. Malcolm had visited her a few times, looking for information about the future. Of course, Lucas was there most of the time. But she had not seen Damon yet. She didn't know what to think about it. She had really thought he would be, if not the first, the second to come and talk to her. She was quite disappointed and also very thoughtful. Why? Was he upset? Was he too busy? Was he not allowed? Had something happened to him? She had tried a few times to ask the others about him, but they had cleverly changed the subject.

That was why, when she spotted Damon observing her through the window the day after her last day of treatment, she thought she was dreaming. They stared at each other and Damon eventually walked inside her bedroom. Alexandra's heart stopped when she understood that he was really there.

He looked tired and anxious. But he still had this flame in his eyes that Alexandra loved so much about him. She kept her eyes on his until he stopped next to her bed, too afraid that she would wake up if she blinked.

"Hi."

His voice. Broken and weary. It made her stomach twist. Alexandra swallowed hard before speaking. But even after that, she was only able to give him a tiny whisper of a hello.

"Can I?" He inquired, moving his chin in her bed's direction.

She nodded in agreement and he sat next to her.

"How do you feel?"

"I… I'm okay," she mumbled.

"Good."

A heavy silence filled the room. Damon was fidgeting on the bed, feeling the weight of Alexandra's eyes on him.

"Where were you?" She suddenly asked.

"Wha-at?"

"Where-were-you?"

"I… I've been busy…"

"Damon! Where were you?" She suddenly said loudly, fury overwhelming her. Tears appeared in her eyes and her vision blurred in a second. She had not meant to, but having him here, she had suddenly realized the truth. She had missed him so much -too much, really. She had been so worried about not seeing him. And now he was there, silent. It was too much to handle.

"You should have been here, with me," she sobbed. "Where were you?"

"Alex," he whispered sadly before embracing her tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Damon didn't feel right to come and see her after such a long time. His heart was heavy and it didn't take too much time before he joined her, crying.

"I'm so sorry. So sorry," he repeated.

The first days of her treatment, he had watched her through the window. Until the day he had heard she had awoken. After that, he had become awkwardly angry at her and had decided to stay away from her. Then, it had become more and more difficult to come. Every day he had more trouble explaining why he was not going. But today was different. Today she was fine. Today, he knew there was no reason to worry anymore. Today, he was sure she would not die. That was why he was there today. Only now, seeing her, hearing her voice, he understood that he had not come because he had been too afraid she would not make it. He didn't want to lose her again and selfishly he had protected himself, staying away.

"I'm here now. I swear, I won't leave you alone again," he swore.

"I missed you so much," she sobbed. "I was worried!"

Damon took her head in his hands and brushed her tears away gently.

"I'm sorry. But I'm here now," he promised forcefully.

She nodded, her cheeks red from crying.

"Jesus, stop crying," he grimaced, brushing away the remaining traces of tears with his thumbs.

"Why now? Why only now?"

"I have no excuse, Alex. I… I don't know why, but I couldn't. I wanted to but I couldn't."

"What's different now?"

"You're totally healed. You're yourself again."

"You were afraid," she murmured to herself. "What were you afraid of? Losing me? Or me being fine again?"

"I'm not sure," he smiled sheepishly.

She knew him so well, she could read him so easily, he was quite stunned; he had forgotten how easy it was for him to be around her. Her eyes looked kindly on him. He was certain she was not resentful. She had already forgiven him. Only true friends could do that. And Damon was so glad he had one.

Every bit of Alexandra's anger vanished at his honest answer. She knew she was not an angel and that her actions had consequences. She also knew who Damon was and how pained he must have been because of her choices. She surely didn't want to fight with him. She needed him too much. His friendship was way too valuable for her to not make concessions.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Damon. And I'm really sorry I lied to you. You're my best friend and I really didn't want to make you feel this way."

"Are you okay now?" Damon asked her.

"Yeah."

"Normal?" He teased her.

"As normal as I can be," she smiled.

"Happy to be here?"

"Yes. I belong here."

"Not going anywhere then?"

"Nope. I'm sorry to inform you that you'll have to live with me again," she grinned lightly.

"If that's what it costs," he smiled too. "I think I'll survive."

They both laughed loudly, expressing their relief, letting out the pressure.

"I'm happy you're back," she confessed.

"I'm happy you're back too."

"Good," she exhaled happily before standing up from her bed and beginning to search for something in the cupboard.

"Looking for something?"

"Clothes."

"What for?" He frowned.

She popped her head out of the piece of furniture and made a false serious face.

"To wear. You know, it's what people do."

"Right. But you don't need some."

"Yes, I need some," she yelled from the inside. "I'm out!"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Damon stated, standing up to reach her.

"It's been 16 days, Damon!"

"Yeah, I know that!"

"I'm not gonna lie. I'm quite exhausted. But I'm fine. I just need time."

"Are you even allowed to leave?"

"Yep. Elisabeth said I could spend my convalescence at home if I was serious."

Damon burst into a laughter.

"You? Serious? She couldn't have believed you!"

Alexandra frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're mean, Keagan."

"Isn't it why you love me so much?" He smirked.

"Boaster!" She slapped him lightly on the arm. "You know what? You should walk me home," she suggested, grabbing the laces of her hospital gown. Damon turned his back to her in reflex.

"Hum, don't you wanna wait for Lucas?"

"Nah, I'm sure he's busy somewhere. Plus, I really wanna go home, have a shower, and wear real clothes."

Damon felt her hand squeeze his arm gently.

"I'm sure he'll know I'm out as soon as I pass that door," she smiled to him. "He always knows everything."

"I guess it's fine then."

She had put on a pair of soldier's trousers and a large white shirt she had found in one of the closet. But she was barefoot.

"No shoes?"

"No shoes," she shrugged.

"Well, it's still fine by me," Damon grinned back. "Mrs. Paris, if you'd like," he held her his arm, his back turned in her direction.

"It'd be my pleasure Mr. Keagan," she responded with a cheeky smile before jumping on his back like a monkey.

Damon carried her all the way back home, which did not even cost him any real effort. He was muscled and she was not very heavy. It was like carrying a backpack. Only there, it was a chatty backpack. Causing Damon to smile the whole way, happy to feel her against him, both alive and lively.

Once they arrived at the front door, he delicately put her down on her feet. They were both smiling stupidly at each other, suddenly feeling like five-year-olds. Damon pushed a strand of hair away from her face and grinned.

"You really need a shower," he taunted her.

"I love you too," she smiled before hugging him.

"I love you too," he murmured against her ear, tightening his arms around her.

She got out of his embrace, feeling better.

"Okay, now I'm really going to have a shower."

"Want some help?"

"Sure! Wanna die? 'Cause I'm sure Lucas would love to kill you if he finds out you help me."

"Huh, nope."

"Okay, I'll see you later then!" She was almost in when she turned back to him. "Thanks for the taxi."

"Anytime."

It felt strange to be back home after so much time. Lucas had kept the house tidy, but he had surely not lived there a lot. There was no food in the cupboards and everything was exactly in the places she had left them.

"Never mind," she smiled to herself as she headed to the bathroom. Having spent days in the infirmary, she knew she would look awful, that was why she grinned to herself when she saw her face in the mirror. She was horrible, her hair were greasy, her skin was pale and she had dark violet circle under her eyes. Yet, she smiled because she was alive. Lucas had saved her. Her. She felt unique and special again. She felt the way she used to feel when they were together at the beginning. Before everything started to get difficult.

Once her teeth were brushed, she already felt better. She went into the shower, enjoying the warmth of the water, relaxing her muscles. She shut her eyes and let her mind wander wherever it wanted to. It was so great that she didn't even notice that somebody was watching her.

"Looking for the soap?"

She jumped in surprise, spinning around to discover Lucas, naked. He had come discretely in the shower behind her. She smacked his shoulder.

"God, Lucas you scared me!"

"How much do you think I was scared when I went to the infirmary to discover you were gone?"

"Sorry, I really needed to get out of the infirmary. I needed to go home, I needed a shower, I needed to relax."

"You should have asked me. I know a lot of ways to relax," he flirted, putting his hands on her waist. She looked at him from head to toe, noticing how excited he was.

"I'm not sure to know what you're talking about," she teased, biting her lip.

"Then I should show you," he smirked, pulling her against him and kissing her slowly. He let his lips run down her jaw, her neck… "Do you have a clue now," he whispered into her ear.

"I thought you said I needed to rest?" She said breathlessly.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," he smirked against her skin. "But maybe you want me to stop?" He asked, leaving a space between his face and her throat on purpose, exposing her. She didn't reply, she couldn't. She was only able to shake her head meaning no.

"Then I should continue…" He whispered in a silky voice. One of his hands ran up to her breast while the other one went south between her legs. She let a moan escape as his fingers reached a sensitive point. He was sizzling hot and horny. God, she had missed him so much. His touch, his smell, his presence against her. Goose bumps appeared everywhere on her skin, making her shiver in pleasure.

"Cold?" Lucas immediately worried.

"No, excited," she murmured with greedy eyes.

Lucas beamed, grabbed her buttocks and lifted her with quick and steady hands. Alexandra found herself back against the wall of the shower. She squealed when her skin entered in contact with the cold wall, making Lucas smile even more.

"Wanna try the bedroom?" He said, panting from excitation, his eyes full of lust.

"Yeah," she replied quickly.

Without letting her go, he walked to their bedroom and laid her down. He climbed on her, sliding his wet body between her legs. His lips started their job on her lips, kissing them greedily. He could feel her hard nipples against his muscular torso, making him even harder than he was. His length was brushing her clit, exciting both of them.

He wanted to make this pleasurable moment last as long as possible. Both for her and for him. He was so excited that he knew that if he did not control himself, he would just drop everything now. So he went down to her breasts, loving the moans that were escaping from Alexandra as and when he insisted on the hotspots he knew about. Then he went lower, kissing every inch of her soaked body. He felt her body tensed when he reached her core, already moist with anticipation of what was about to happen.

His tongue licked her softly, then harder, following the pace of her body, moving quicker and quicker until he felt her tensed so much that he knew she was about to climax. He climbed up and she instinctively pulled him closer to kiss him hungrily. Her hands went down his back, guiding him. The next second, he was inside her, thrusting up and down, inflaming her. She was literally burning inside, her cheeks boiling from ecstasy. Her body was shivering from pleasure. And from the moans that were escaping from Lucas' mouth, he was as satisfied as she was. Their movements quickly became harder and faster until their breathing became frantic and they both came to the edge. Lucas let his body fall over hers, his face hidden in her neck, trying to catch his breath back. He felt her smile against his cheek and pulled his head up to look at her. She was smiling at the ceiling, trying to attain a normal pace of breathing again.

"You're beautiful," he breathed unsteadily. She leant into him and gave him a passionate yet tired kiss before letting her head fall back on the pillow.

"Oh my God," she chuckled breathlessly. "I thought you said it would not be exhausting."

"I lied," he smirked, kissing her gently. "Your heart is beating hard in your chest."

"I know," she exhaled. "But it was worth it."

"Good," he grinned.

She put both her hands on each side of his face, her bright blue eyes shining on him.

"I love you," she smiled honestly.

"I love you too," he said, his face serious. "I love you."

Alexandra fixed her gaze on him, surprised to see so much intensity in his green eyes. She could read all the suffering he was carrying, all the weakness he had hidden inside, but also all the strength and bravery he was built in. His love for her was so deep, engraved in his flesh, it was scary and beautiful at the same time. How could you feel so much for someone else?

Their eyes stayed locked on each others and they felt connected again. They were so important to each other, it was almost painful. Alexandra had electrified Lucas' life. And so had he. Alexandra couldn't believe how many things had happened to them since they had met. But even with everything that had occurred to them, they were still linked. They were soul mates. It was evidence. You only knew how fragile your life was when you almost lost the one you loved. It was exactly what they had experienced.

Lucas rolled on the side, bringing her with him. He tightened his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest, the beat of his heart rocking her gently to sleep. Lucas took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the one he loved against his skin. He was ready for what he was about to do. Just one look at her and it confirmed his decision. He would do it now. He had to. He wanted to.


	79. I do

Hi everyone! I hope you had a nice Xmas and I wish you a happy new year! Here's my gift for you! Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>I do<strong>

After a _'real'_ shower together, Alexandra and Lucas had put some clothes on but were still lying in their bed in silence for an hour or so, just enjoying the simple pleasure of being with the one they love. In their bed, in their bedroom, in their house. They were back together.

This realization made Alexandra smile. She was alive and, hopefully, totally healed. Nothing on earth could keep them apart. He was her soul mate. The one person she couldn't live without. The half of her that Sean had talked about. They were meant for each other and it gave her more hope and belief in life than she had ever felt. Together, they could defy the world. Together, they were unbreakable.

"Lucas?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it'll sound ridiculous but… I want you to know that I always loved you. Even when I hated you. I mean, my heart belongs to you. Forever."

She waited anxiously for him to speak but he stayed silent for a minute that seemed an eternity. Alexandra thought he was suspiciously quiet and it almost scared her. He eventually turned his head to face her, determination in his eyes.

"Alex, I felt and I feel exactly the same for you. Don't ever feel ridiculous about it or about telling me. Don't ever feel stupid about anything you wanna tell me. I want you… No, I _need_ you to tell me what you feel. You can trust me. That's what love is about."

"I promise."

"The distance between us was unbearable," Lucas confessed against her ear before kissing her forehead.

"I agree," she approved.

"All this time away from you was a real torture."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long did you stay in 2150? I don't even know. You never told me."

"Weeks."

"I'm sorry."

"You're here now. I'm here now," he reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

"Lucas Taylor, the man who found me when I was lost and brought me back where I belong," she smiled.

"Alexandra Paris, the woman who guided me through the night and showed me the path to where I should be."

"Stop making fun of me," she shoved him.

"I'm not! You paced my troubled heart, you helped me find my soul again. Before I met you, I was not used to these kind of… feelings. Everything seems new when I am with you. It's like I can be myself freely with you. You bring out the best in me, Alex. And that is not an easy challenge!"

"Lucas… You have no idea how much... How much happier I am to be alive thanks to you. I mean it. No matter what you did, no matter what you do or will do, I know I love you. Whatever happens, I will always love you. My heart is beating fast… It's really what love is about, right? My heart is tied to yours, forever."

Lucas smiled and gave her a deep kiss. When he had first met Alexandra, she was an extroverted and talkative girl, she was funny and knew it. Now he could see how grown up she had become, maturity had overcome her. She was still funny and pretty, but she knew better what she wanted, what she felt, who she was and what she deserved, and that made her even more sexy.

"I don't even understand why you love me," he sighed with a thin smile.

"Lucas…"

"No, really. Why?"

"Why I love you is a hard question to answer… I love you because… You care for me like no one else ever did. I love the way I feel in your arms, so safe from dangers. I love your eyes, your green hypnotic and mesmerizing eyes, beautiful to gaze into, and yet never revealing everything to me. I love your strength, your courage, your intelligence… I could explain every way that I love you but I can simply say that I love you because you are you."

Lucas' deep green eyes stared at her, a strange smile on his face. She loved him because he was himself. How could an amazing girl like her love him totally, completely, with his few good qualities and his many flaws? Love would always surprise him. As he kept looking at her with his unreadable face, Alexandra wondered if she had given him the answer he had expected.

"What?" She asked with a frown.

"You're everything to me too," he confirmed. "You are my life."

She grinned and kissed him, before hiding her face in his chest again.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," she murmured.

"I'd like that too, but… I'm afraid I have another plan for tonight."

"Another plan?"

Alexandra's voice was in her alert mode.

"We've been invited for a… kind of big dinner."

Her anxiousness welled up a bit. What kind of dinner could involve both of them but only Lucas would know about? And above all, that Lucas would accept to go to?

"Dinner?"

"Yep."

"With who?"

"My dear father, the Shannons, Skye and Deborah. I think Tom and Malcolm will be there too. Oh, and of course, your dear Lieutenant… And his girl."

"Damon never mentioned that…"

"I think it was a bit of an improvisation. You know, to celebrate your recovery."

"Huh… I'm not sure I like this idea."

"Well, it's too late to refuse anyway. I said you'll come."

"How could you say such a thing?" She scolded him gently.

"Because I can," he smirked.

"Ass hole," she chuckled.

Lucas smiled and pressed her against him.

"You love me that way. Don't lie!"

Alexandra tried hard not to smile back but her efforts were vain. She loved him too much when he was playing at boasting like that.

"How long before the dinner?"

"Two hours or so."

"Then I'll spend the next two hours or so against your body," she grinned lightly.

"Hmmm, I wanna do something before," he replied.

"What do you wanna do?" she asked with a cheeky smile.

"No, not that," he grinned.

"What is it then?" She inquired more seriously.

Lucas sat, pulling her with him.

"Come on," he simply said.

"Come on where?" She asked, surprised.

"Follow me," he smiled, leaving the room.

Alexandra didn't hesitate long before running behind him. She found him outside, already behind the steering wheel of his rover.

"Really?" She frowned, perplexed.

"Really," he grinned.

"You're not gonna tell me where we're goin', right?"

"Nope."

She exhaled loudly, pouting, but sat next to him. Lucas drove fast outside the colony and as far as he could until the path was not wide enough for the vehicle.

"We'll do the rest by foot."

"Honestly?"

"Come on! You used to be more curious!"

She groaned and followed him, until she realized where they were heading. Snakehead falls. They soon arrived in front of the falls they knew so well. The place had not changed that much. It was greener than Alexandra remembered. The vegetation seemed to have grown up. It looked wilder than in her memories. _'Or you were too blind to see all the dangers before'_, she thought to herself.

Lucas cleared his throat, bringing back from her reverie.

"It's here we first kissed, remember?"

"Yes," she smiled lightly. "So many things happened here…"

"It's here that everything started between us."

"We already had something before that," she reminded him.

"That's true. You intrigued me before that," he agreed, stepping in front of her. "We already had something the first time we met."

"I think so," she grinned, putting her arms around his neck, her body coming into contact with his. "We had something."

Lucas smiled, his arms around her waist, and kissed her gently.

"Alex…"

"Yes?"

"You… I…"

Lucas' voice was lightly trembling, making Alexandra smile.

"You, I, we," she chuckled lightly. "What's goin' on?"

"Alexandra, I love you with my mind, with my body, with my heart, with my soul... You deserve to be kissed every day, to be loved every day, to be cherished every day. I want you to complete me."

Alexandra's grin widened. She was struggling not to laugh. Lucas' attitude was funny. She had never seen him acting like that, like a shy little boy. She thought he was cute and was sure he would hate to know that.

"Alex, please stop it, I'm trying to be serious here."

"Ok, sorry. Sorry. Continue, please," she smiled, her eyes betraying laughter.

Lucas took a deep breath and started to tell her what he had thought about, what he wanted her to hear.

"Have I told you how good it feels to be me, when I'm with you? I can only stay good when you are there. I'm out of control when you're not around. You're the drug that keeps me alive, that kept me from dying. You're the only reason why I stayed alive. I'm not afraid of dying, but my biggest fear is to lose you again. When you're here with me, love is all that's going on through me. There's no rage, no hatred, no anger, just love."

Alexandra stayed silent, feeling the need for Lucas to say everything he had inside him.

"I want to be yours, forever. I want you to be mine, forever."

"I'm yours and I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here," she blurted out, suddenly worried.

"No, I mean, I want to legitimize our relationship. I want to prove to the world how much I love you."

Lucas got out of her embrace and kneeled down slowly. Alexandra froze, afraid to understand what he was doing.

"You are the one who sees who I really am, who I am inside. You are the one who takes the pain away and gives me strength, gives me love. You are the one who showed me who I was, who I could be. I need you. I want you. You're here with me when I need help. It's your arms I find peace in. I never saw this coming, actually I never searched for it, never even tried but yet there you were, there I found you in the jungle. You make every single day easier, every second without you breaks my heart. Before I met you I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason."

"Lucas…" She murmured, her throat tight.

"Someone told me once that we don't know who we are until we are connected to someone else. You are a better human being when you are with the right person. I know I'm with the right person. It's as if you were a part of me, the best part. Without you I am nothing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want you to be my wife, I want you to be the mother of my kids, I want you and only you, I want you to be mine, forever."

Lucas took Alexandra's left hand in his.

"Alexandra Paris, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

Her eyes went wide as she opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. Her heart was pounding in her chest, every beat echoing in her ears.

"Alex, veux-tu m'épouser?" He asked her in French, his American accent making him look (and sound) sexier than ever. Her heart suddenly rattled. A tear dropped onto her cheek and his thumb was on it in a second, brushing it away. She leaned to him and kissed him passionately. Lucas smirked against her lips, pulling away to talk.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

Lucas felt his muscles relax as her answer sank into his mind. Relief washed through him. It took him a moment for this simple but so important word to sink in, but when Lucas realized her answer was positive, a huge beam appeared on his face. He stood up, grabbing Alexandra's face and kissed her passionately. He picked her up and her arms ended up tightly gripped around his neck. He spun her around as he was kissing her, unable to contain his joy.

"Stop, stop Lucas, please!" She laughed. "My head's spinnin'"

"I… love… you… so… much!" He said, kissing her between every word.

"I love you too," she beamed. "Forever."

"Forever," he repeated, loving the sound of this simple word echoing in his mind. Forever.

* * *

><p>Feel the music, feel the story.<p>

"Find me here, and speak to me. I want to feel you, I need to hear you. You are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again. You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the life to my soul. You are my purpose. You're everything. And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? You calm the storms and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands. You won't let me fall. You steal my heart and you take my breath away. Would you take me in, take me deeper now? Cause you're all I want, you're all I need. You're everything, everything." Everything - Lifehouse


	80. Family Love

Hi everyone! I know, it's been ages! So sorry for the delay but I gave birth to my first child (a lovely daughter) and, as you might know, having a baby takes most of your time! Especially when you go back to work! But here I am again! I hope you're here too. And I hope you'll like this chapter. Let me know you're still here too and leave me a review! :) I've been working on the next chapters though, so hopefully I will update sooner next time!

* * *

><p><strong>Family Love<strong>

Lucas and Alexandra were back to the colony and heading to Taylor's house where the dinner was taking place. Once in front of the door, Alexandra stopped Lucas, her hands over his chest.

"Lucas, wait. Huh… You haven't told them what you've asked me, have you?"

Lucas' eyebrows furrowed.

"Nope. Why?"

"Because… Because I think we should keep it secret for a moment."

Lucas stepped back, confused.

"Why?"

"Don't take it the wrong way. I'm very happy and proud and all about it. But I think, with the war coming, maybe it's not the right time to tell them we're engaged."

"Wait a sec. This is confusing. Because it's a hard time for everyone, we can't be happy? There must be something that I missed here in your reasoning."

"It could be our secret. Just for a few days. I don't know… I'm just afraid they wouldn't understand us planning a wedding when there's so much to prepare for the war."

"Uh-huh…"

"What?"

Lucas cleared his throat and gave her a half smile.

"And this has nothing to do with that Lieutenant of yours, right?"

"Don't call him that."

"Does it?"

Alexandra stayed silent for a second before answering, not sure what answer would be best.

"No. Not really. I mean, I'd like to tell him myself. Not let him find out when everyone else does, like he's no one important to me… I don't know. Does it sound like too much to ask for?"

"Do you have any regret?" He winced.

"No!" she replied earnestly. "Oh no, Lucas, no! Not at all! I swear! No, it's just… Our friendship is just back to normal, and I think it's still fragile, ya know. So, I don't want anything to mess it up."

Lucas let out a chuckle, feeling suddenly lighter. Even if he and Damon were not best friends, he knew very well how much their friendship meant to her. He understood why she was having this thought. Yet, he wanted everyone to know she was going to be his, forever. Above all, Damon.

"Yeah…"

"It could our private thing. Just for once," she pleaded with him. "We prepare for the war first. Then we can prepare our wedding?"

"I can do two things at the same time, ya know?" He smiled crookedly.

Alexandra couldn't avoid the smile that appeared on her face.

"Boaster," she grinned, slapping his chest lightly.

Lucas pressed his arms around her and brought his face closer to hers.

"I believe we should tell them we're gonna get married. No matter when it happens. 'Cause I wanna marry you the soonest we can. But I'll wait as long as you wanna wait. Okay?"

She nodded shyly, really grateful that he understood her decision.

"Love ya."

"I love you too," she said, her eyes reflecting tenderness for the only love of her life.

Lucas kissed her softly before slapping her ass.

"Let's go now! I'm starving!"

They entered the house without knocking. Taylor had always said his home was their home too. Alexandra's eyes widened at the sight of the inside. Taylor's living room looked transformed. A big table had been put in the middle of the place, so there was plenty of space for everyone. It was like everybody she knew was there, gathered to celebrate her recovery.

"Surpriiiiiiise," they all welcomed her, smiling.

"Wow!" She grinned. She didn't find it so hard to play the surprised girl even if she knew about it. What they had prepared for the night seemed awesome. And she felt full of gratitude for them. They really were kind to her. She let everyone embrace her in greeting and then they sat around the table to have dinner.

As everyone was chatting about everything and nothing at all, she couldn't avoid the smile that appeared on her face. It was a warm family night and she was enjoying every bit of it. They all looked happy, and it had been a long time since she had witnessed them this lighthearted.

When dessert arrived, Alexandra felt that she needed to make some kind of speech. It had been in her mind for a long time now, but she had not had the courage to do it yet. She had waited for the '_right_' moment. Tonight seemed to be that one. It was really not the kind of thing she liked to do, but she needed to do it once and for all, and tonight was the perfect moment. She stood up and taped her spoon on her glass, asking for silence. She regretted her gesture the moment every eye of the room became glued on her, waiting for whatever she wanted to say. Lucas' hand reached the small of her back in an instant. She glanced at him and knew he had understood what she was doing. He was clearly giving her strength to continue, encouraging her. She took a deep breath and started speaking.

"I wanted to say few words. Nothing really long, just… Things I want you guys to know. Okay… Huh… First, Taylor, thank you for this dinner. It was amazing, a really great surprise."

Taylor nodded with a small grin.

"Second, well, thank you all for your presence here tonight. It really goes right to my heart. So, thank you for your kindness, your care, your love… And your forgiveness," she smiled. "Terra Nova is my family and I'm more than glad to be home, safe."

"It was time you realize that!" Josh beamed, teasing her.

"We all do make mistakes, don't we? We do deceive our family sometimes, don't we?" She replied, embarrassed.

"Yes, sometimes. But then, as parents, we always forgive you," Jim replied to her in a fatherly manner, while his hand went slapping the back of Josh's head.

Alexandra smiled warmly to him. He had always been so good to her. She felt her eyes prickle. No, she had promised herself she would not cry. She swallowed hard and continued.

"Thank you all for loving me... Because you really do it perfectly."

"Perfect, that would be me," Josh smiled.

"Shut your mouth, Josh! I'm in my _'apologize mode_'," she said half joking, half serious, hooking air quotes around the last phrase. "Honestly… I never meant to start so much trouble. I am really sorry for my horrible behavior. I think I could give you a lot of reasons why I acted like a stupid, spoiled child, but I won't. I'm just ashamed it happened, and I am truly sorry I caused you so much trouble."

"I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we all forgave you a long time ago," Taylor reassured her.

"And I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Really. Thank you all."

Damon started laughing in silence and Mark made a face.

"I told you she would say that!"

"That's not fair, you know her better than me!"

"If you don't wanna lose, don't play! Hand over the money, boy!"

Alexandra stared at the two of them, her eyes narrowed on Damon.

"Hang on you two, what's this all about?"

"Nothing…"

"Nothing? No, wait…" Seeing Damon's smug face, she suddenly understood the situation and her face slackened in shock. "You bet on my apology?"

"No, not at all," Damon denied.

"You did!"

"No!" Damon chuckled, amused.

"Oh my God! You did bet on me!" Alexandra claimed, half frowning and half smiling.

"Come on," he grinned. "It was just a game!"

"You bet I would apologize tonight?" She asked, dazed.

"No… We all knew you would apology tonight," he smirked proudly. Alexandra looked at everyone who was trying not to smile, but it was obvious they were all in on the secret. "We just bet on the words you would say," Damon beamed.

"You!" She warned him before throwing the peel of a fruit in his face.

"Easy girl! You're still recovering," Taylor smiled. "And I don't want you to damage my Lieutenant," he whispered to her with a wink.

Alexandra groaned, vexed, and sat back on her chair. She turned to Lucas, her face bright red, feeling suddenly utterly stupid.

"You knew it?"

"No," he lied, trying hard not to smile.

"You knew it!'

She slapped his shoulder roughly, making him chuckle.

"Lucas, this is not funny!"

"I know! They didn't even let me in on the bet!" He replied, rubbing his shoulder.

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

"I am! I would have won and given you the money!"

"And you're the one who wants to be my husband?"

"You said yes," he grinned widely, approaching her.

"I said yes but there's plenty of time for me to change my mind until the wedding day," she teased, her face inches away from his.

"Na, you love me way too much, honey," Lucas stated, a beam of victory spreading over his face.

"You're a jackass, Mister Taylor," she grinned, her mouth inches away from his.

Lucas bit his bottom lip, coming even closer.

"I love you too, wife."

Alexandra couldn't suppress the little giggle that came out of her throat. She actually liked it. Wife. It sounded good in his mouth.

"You should be more careful, hubby, or there won't be any wife," she warned him jokingly.

They were going to kiss when something stopped them. A strange feeling. Suddenly, the two lovers realized silence had engulfed in the room. Memories of their last words rushed to their mind. They both turned to see that everyone was staring at them, a different range of emotions on each one.

"I think our little secret is not a secret anymore," Lucas whispered with a tiny smile, not even bothering playing annoyance. It was what he had wanted since the beginning.

"I guess you're right…" Alexandra confirmed.

"Is congratulation appropriated? Or should we act like we didn't hear it?" Jim asked to his wife, loudly enough so everyone would hear it.

"Well, I don't think we can hide it any longer," she replied, amused.

Alexandra pressed her lips together, forcing a smile.

"We're gonna get married?" she announced with an embarrassed wince, shrugging.

"That's fantastic!" Maddy screamed, hysterical, before jumping on Alexandra and hugging her so much that it made it hard for her to breathe. Maddy was making strange noises into her ears, leading Alexandra to smile happily. Her friend was so special, always extreme with her emotions, but so sincere. It was touching.

"Calm down, Maddy!" Alexandra chuckled.

Taylor walked to his son and pressed his large hand over his shoulder.

"I'm really happy for you, son," he stated, trembles in his voice.

Lucas could see how serious he was and understood how important this moment was for him. So instead of teasing him for his _'girly'_ attitude, he simply thanked him. Taylor grabbed his glass and rose his hand up.

"To Lucas and Alexandra," he proclaimed.

"To Lucas and Alexandra," everyone repeated, their glasses in the air.

Alexandra's eyes met Damon's eyes and they stared at each other a moment. Alexandra wasn't sure what he was thinking. She guessed it was a mix of happiness and disappointment. Then, Trinity put her hand over his arm and his attention came back to his girlfriend. Never mind, she would talk to him later.

Everyone ate their dessert, euphoric, already discussing, planning, and organizing for the wedding. It was way too much for Alexandra who had not even thought about it yet. It was already a big event for her to know she was going to get married one day. Organizing the wedding had not crossed her mind yet. However, while everyone was wondering and guessing about it, Alexandra realized she was sure about three things. Actually, she was sure about three people she needed to talk to.

She stood up and walked to Maddy who was coming out of the kitchen, already helping to clear the table.

"Hey, Maddy, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Yep," she replied, following Alexandra over to a window, away from the other people. Alexandra made a solemn face.

"Maddy, I wanted to ask you..."

"Yes!" She almost screamed.

Alexandra's eyes widened and Maddy's hands reached her mouth to cover it. She had not thought she would scream so loudly.

"I didn't even say what I wanted to ask you!"

"Sorry, continue," she said after a moment, trying to keep calm. But her body was already betraying her, moving hastily from side to side.

"Okay, so I wanted to ask you if you wanted to..."

"Yes!" She beamed, overexcited.

"Maddy!" She scolded her. "I didn't even finish my question!"

"Sorry, I'll shut my mouth!" She promised, gesturing her hand quickly, asking her to continue.

"Maddy Shannon, do you wanna be my maid of honor?"

"YES!" She screamed, jumping on Alexandra, embracing her. "I'm so happy you asked me! I already thought about all the things we could do for your bachelorette party. Because there'll be one. You have to tell me who you want to be there. Or maybe I should let you have a surprise. I don't know what's best. I need to plan everything. And we need…"

Maddy was talking quicker than Alexandra had ever seen her, making her beam happily. Maddy was really the greatest friend she had. Her joy about the announcement was proof of it.

"Hold on, Maddy! We have time to discuss the wedding, okay?"

"But there are so many things to prepare! We have to start talking about it! The sooner the better!"

"We haven't even chosen a date!"

"Yeah, so? We must be prepared!"

"Okay, okay! We'll do that. Promise. Huh… First… I..." Alexandra could see Damon was finally alone and she wanted to go talk to him before Trinity came back to him. She grabbed Maddy's elbow to make her stop her incessant wave of words. "Maddy, I'm sure it's gonna be perfect. We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Huh, okay," she replied, quite disappointed. Maddy already had plenty of ideas she wanted to share with Alexandra. Never mind, she would write it down so she would not forget any of them. She ran to Mark who had observed the scene, looking forward to telling him what had just happened.

Alexandra walked to Damon, giving him a little wave as a hello, a lot less confident than she was a minute ago with Maddy.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So…" She drawled.

"So you're gonna marry Lucas Taylor?" He finished her sentence, his face unreadable.

"I guess I am," she confirmed with a grimace. Half of her was disappointed by his reaction. Why couldn't he be happy for her? The other half was feeling bad about how the conversation seemed to be going. She surely didn't want to lose him because of her decision.

"Well… I guess I should have known it would happen someday," Damon stated with a small smile.

"Sooooo…," she repeated shyly.

"So?"

"You're not mad at me?"

"Mad at you?" Damon laughed loudly. "Why should I be mad at you?"

Alexandra exhaled deeply. She had not noticed she was holding her breath.

"I don't know. I mean… Because I didn't tell you? Because we… we are…"

"We are?" He frowned, arching his eyebrows.

"We are best friends… And more than that…"

"Alex," he smiled warmly, grabbing gently both her arms with his hands. "I love you, too. I can't understand why you love that guy so much, but since he makes you happy, I'm okay with it."

Alexandra's face seemed so desperate that Damon felt the need to reassure her. Having her speechless in front of him was always disarming.

"Really, I'm not mad at you. I promise!"

"I love you so much," she suddenly blurted out before jumping in his arms and hugging him tightly.

"I know," he chuckled, responding to her hug by pressing her closer to him.

Alexandra knew she wanted Damon to be part of her life. So she had never imagined he wouldn't be an important part of her wedding. Even Lucas knew it, she was certain. She felt so much lighter to know he was not angry with her.

"And anyway," he added, pushing her away gently. "I have a girlfriend you know," he reminded her with an arrogant smile.

"Oh I know," she smiled, slapping his arm lightly.

They both laughed, unable to stay serious. Their relationship was based on a deep respect for each other, honesty, and a true unique love. They wanted it to stay that way and the best way to do it had always been to enjoy life and keep it light whenever they could.

"I know my love for her must seem quite ordinary for you in comparison to the... epic love you've got with Lucas. But I think my feelings for her are real," he said more seriously. "And hers are definitely sincere."

"There's no ordinary love, Damon. Every single love is unique. My love for you is nothing to compare to the love I have for Lucas. But my love for you is real and intense. And I'm very, very happy to hear you found love with someone. You're my best friend, and I wish you the absolute best with Trinity."

"Stop it, you're gonna make me cry," he mocked.

"You're an ass, Keagan! You don't deserve me!"

"_You_ don't deserve me!"

"Well I guess there's no point in me asking you to be my witness then," she said, pretending she didn't care. Yet, she was extremely nervous.

Damon stared at her with his intense dark blue eyes. He was breathtaking when he would look at her like that. In another life, with no Lucas in it, she would have probably fallen in love with him and would have been the happiest and the most satisfied woman in the world.

"Well, if you do ask me someday if I'd want to be the witness of your union, then my answer would be yes. Just so you know. If you want to ask me. Someday," he winked.

Alexandra smiled. There was no more to say. Damon had accepted to be with her that day. It was a wonderful gift from him.

"This day might be sooner than you think," she grinned. Her hand reached his cheek and she caressed it slowly. Damon put his hand over hers, his eyes strangely bright. Was it from happiness or sadness? Alexandra didn't want to know. She could feel tears threatening to run out of her eyes too.

Jim passed next to them, and she took the most of it. She gave a last smile to Damon and followed Jim, calling him to stop.

"Jim?"

"Hey, Alex! Congratulations," he smiled, rubbing her shoulder lightly.

"Thank you," she smirked shyly. She stayed in front of him, fidgeting embarrassingly.

"You wanted to ask me something maybe?"

"Yes!" she said, grateful he would give her a hand to start this conversation. "Jim, you know how much I like you. I could not thank you enough for all the things you have done for me. I consider you family, and I..."

"I would be honored to walk you to the altar."

Alexandra's mouth dropped open.

"Is it a Shannon's thing to answer a question before it's finished?" She chuckled lightly.

"I'm a cop, remember?" He winked.

Alexandra exhaled lightly, while Jim embraced her fatherly. She really liked the man. They never had to talk too much to understand each other. He was so nice to her, she definitely saw him as a paternal figure in her life. The Shannons were her family from the start. She had inherited parents, sisters, and a brother the day she stepped into Terra Nova.

Alexandra pulled back from his hug when she noticed Skye, playing with her fingers behind them. Obviously waiting to talk to her.

"Thank you Jim," she told him before walking to Skye.

"You're welcome," he winked.

"Hey," Alexandra said to Skye. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I… I'm happy for you two."

"Thank you," she said once again. _'Thank you'_ were the words of the day it seemed.

"Lucas asked me to be his witness," she started, unsure. "Did you know that he was going to?"

Alexandra would be lying if she responded no. She knew his _'sister'_ would be his witness. Just as much as Damon would be for her.

"No," she forced a smile. "But I'm glad he did."

"Thank you."

_'Thank you'_ were definitely the words of the day, Alexandra told herself.

"Well, it's normal. Lucas has always had feelings for you. He likes you as his own sister. I can't be surprised he chose you, can I?"

Skye didn't know if Alexandra was testing her or playing with her. Was it a good idea to be Lucas' witness when she had almost destroyed their relationship? Yet, Skye had felt proud to be chosen by Lucas. It was an honor.

"You two are made for each other. Lucas is a strong character who needs someone with a strong personality too. You're perfect for each other," Skye stated.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Alexandra replied awkwardly. This conversation was strange and it was clear that even if the two women had made peace a long time ago, there was still something strange between them. Maybe with time, it would disappear.

"Hey, sweetheart," Lucas interrupted them, putting his arm around her and giving her a soft kiss. "Is everything fine?"

"Yes, perfect. Skye just told me you asked her to be your witness. That's great."

Lucas looked at Skye and winked at her.

"Yes, that's not too bad," he joked.

"Ass hole," she shook her head, pushing him lightly.

"Come on!" He said, grabbing her with his free arm and pulling her into his embrace. "My two girls," he smirked proudly, tightening them against him. The two women couldn't fight the laugh that came out from his action while they were trying to get out of his grip.

"Alright," Skye chuckled. "I'm gone. I work early tomorrow. See you. And congrats again."

"Bye," they both answered.

Alexandra turned to Lucas, frowning.

"Who's your second witness?"

"Mark."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really! Why?"

"Maddy's my witness. She's gonna drive him crazy with preparation!" She grinned, thinking about poor Mark, forced to talk about this marriage for hours, days, maybe weeks!

"I guess Damon's your second witness," he said, his tone not even interrogative.

"He is."

Alexandra was not sure what was on Lucas' mind. But he had chosen someone she was not so inclined to like at first. She clearly had no reason to feel guilty about her choice with Damon.

"Good! Seems like we're heading to a wedding!"

"Seems like it, yeah!"

"I remember I married Ayani before I had to go to the war too. I can assure you, it gives a man a good reason to come back alive," they suddenly heard Taylor confess to Jim behind them.

Alexandra felt Lucas tense and she quickly looked at his face, only to notice his smile had vanished. Then he put on a happy mask again and, as he felt her gaze pointed in his direction, looked back at her. Lucas was not a fool, the way Alexandra was looking at him with her big, worried, blue-violet eyes right now, he knew she had seen his sad thought cross his mind. He was going to say something, but his father tapped his hands over their shoulders and they turned to face him.

"Kids, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," they both responded.

"The degree of loving is measured by the degree of giving," Taylor started. "Lucas, you have given a lot lately. You had changed in a bad way, to prove something I was not ready to hear, nor to listen. Then I found the real you again. You're back to this boy who dreamed about discovering the world, who had plenty of theories to explore. I know how much effort you put into this, your life here, your attitude here, and I know I'm not the reason why you made all of those radical decisions," he declared, giving a slight smile to Alexandra. "Still, I'm very glad you did and I want you to know, even if it might mean nothing to you, that I'm proud of you, very proud. And that I love you, I always have. You're my son, and I'm very proud of the man you've become."

Lucas felt tears prickle in his eyes and immediately stared away to keep them from falling.

"Okay, I think we should go back home now. It's already late, and you need to rest," Lucas said, using Alexandra's recovery as an excuse to escape.

"Thank you," Alexandra said, once again, her eyes pleading for Taylor to understand his son's behavior. "For everything."

"Good night kids," Taylor simply added.

On their way back home, Lucas could see something was bothering Alexandra. She was way too quiet for his liking.

"Is there something you wanna tell me?"

"No," she answered too quickly. "I mean, no. Do you?"

"No. But you, you seem a bit… lost in your thoughts."

Alexandra grimaced and sighed.

"You don't think you're gonna die, right?"

Lucas started laughing before realizing her question was really serious.

"Have you ever seen me doing something I thought I could fail at?" He said, trying to lighten her mood.

"I know you like challenges..."

"Alex, I won't die. Not now, not yet."

"This is serious!" she scolded him. "Don't die! I don't want to be a widow..." She exhaled.

"What's the real problem?" He frowned.

"Lucas, you're not asking me to marry you just because you're afraid to die alone, are you?"

"No, of course not! Who made you think such a thing?"

"No one…"

"Come on!"

"Nobody! It's just, with the war coming…"

"Alex?" He insisted.

"Okay, fine. You heard your father telling the others that he married your mother before going to war. So it was a good reason to come back…"

"I'm not my father", Lucas replied seriously, hurt, his gaze heading to the horizon.

Alexandra stepped in front of him and stopped him.

"I know," she informed him, putting all she had into those two words to reassure him.

Lucas stared at her and his hands went to her face.

"I'm marrying you because I love you. Isn't it the best reason why?"

"It is", she confirmed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thought such a thing. You're not like that."

"I'm tired of dreamin' about what we could be. I don't wanna wait to see if life is gonna be nice to us or a bitch like she has already been. That's why I wanna marry you. Because I know we would have probably never talked to each other in a... real life," he quoted in the air with his fingers. "But there's no other life. This is our life and I like it this way, with you."

"But…"

"Look, it feels right. I'm not old but I'm not that young. We're both mature enough to know what we're doin'. I want to marry you because I love you. I love you unconditionally. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my wife, I want my love for you to be official, I want everyone to know how much you mean to me."

"You want to show them or to prove to them?"

"A bit of both. And also officially say that you're taken," he smirked teasingly.

"Right!" She chuckled lightly. "No one touches what's yours! Do you want to piss on me to mark your territory?"

"I was waiting for you to ask," he joked, wrapping her in his arms to keep her with him as she was pretending to leave. "I love you," he murmured, rocking her gently.

"I love you too," she replied honestly.

"You know, you remind me of my mother."

She raised her eyebrows at his statement.

"Your mother?"

"Not in an odd, dramatic kind of way," he tried to explain, feeling suddenly stupid. "I'm not looking for a second mother with you."

"Yeah, I prefer that," she taunted him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"I mean, you remind me of how kind and generous she was. And how much I liked it."

"So you like me because I'm your mother?" She teased him, making him uncomfortable.

"No, I mean, yes. But, no, you… Come on I'm sure you know what I mean!"

"I'm joking Lucas, I'm joking! I know exactly what you mean," she laughed. "And I'm very flattered to be compared to her. You're so easy to torture when it comes to your feelings!"

"You talk too much," he groaned before kissing her hungrily. He felt her chuckle against his lips. She pushed him gently, still secured in his warm arms.

"Before the day I met you, life was unkind. You make me feel good inside, alive. I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for, who I'm living for. And if I make you happy, then I'm the happiest woman in the world."

The corners of his lips went up, lightening his face.

"Let's go home. I'm sure you know another way to make me happy," he teased, his eyes full of lust.

"I should have added that you could make me happy too," she laughed when he threw her on his shoulder, heading eagerly to their house.


	81. Forever and ever

**Forever and ever**

* * *

><p>It had not taken more than two days before everyone knew that the Commander's son was going to get married. People had started to congratulate Lucas and Alexandra in no time. And, of course, they all had their own visions on how the young fiancés should marry.<p>

Lucas found it funny. But that was not the case for Alexandra. She had really wanted it to stay secret as long as possible. But no one had seemed to consider her point of view. Actually, their wedding was the event of the year. Maybe the last happy event before the war, and the Terra Novans were thrilled about it. It was like a light at the end of a dark tunnel.

Lucas was not a fool, he could see that the turmoil around their wedding was bothering her, even if she was trying to hide it. Also, he knew fairly well that Maddy was stressing Alexandra with the preparation of the wedding. Not that she was doing it on purpose to annoy her friend. No, Maddy was truly thinking she was helping Alexandra to prepare for the big day. But all of her questions and worries about it were getting on Alexandra's nerves. Alexandra could be patient - he knew it - but her patience had its limits.

Fortunately for Lucas, Mark and Skye were more concerned with his stag party than the marriage itself. Their desire to make it perfect, and above all secret, was making them paranoid, which was causing Lucas to have a lot of fun. For once, Lucas was not trying to know their plan. For once, he wanted to be surprised, which was a big test on trust for him. A smile broke out on his face when he thought about the last time he had surprised Skye and Mark while they were plotting behind his back. They both had stopped talking when he had arrived, trying hard to look innocent. Overall, his role was funnier than he would have thought.

As his mind was absentmindedly wandering, his attention went back to his future wife when his eyes darted to Alexandra's naked body under the sheets of their bed. Lucas smiled happily. They had just made love, and it had been intense. So intense that Alexandra had fallen asleep almost immediately after.

Lucas kissed her forehead and wrapped her into his arms to hug her. It slowly woke her up and her arms went around his chest to tighten their cuddle. They stayed silent a moment until Lucas was sure she was awake. Her eyes were half shut, as she was lost in her thoughts.

"You're alright?" He asked in a murmur.

"Yeah…" She whispered with a smile.

"I'm talking about… the wedding," he said, trying to be more precise.

Alexandra's body tensed, then relaxed, not wanting Lucas to feel it.

"It's fine."

"I can feel your heartbeat against my chest," he informed her, proving to her that he knew she was not telling the truth. Her rapid heartbeat was evidence of her rising anguish. And lately, it had happened quite a lot of times.

"I think I'm… very nervous," she confessed with a sigh.

"I'm getting that."

Alexandra sat up, leaning on her elbows, to look him in the eyes.

"You always seem so confident, it's disturbing."

"You're adorable," he smirked crookedly.

"No, don't say that!"

Lucas chuckled, amused.

"Why are you so confident about this wedding?"

"Because it's ours," he shrugged. "It'll be fine anyway."

"So you don't care? That's why it doesn't make you nervous," she stated aloud to herself. She didn't need a confirmation, it was suddenly obvious for her.

"Yes! No, I mean, as long as at the end of the day, you're mine, I'm happy."

She stared at him, and then her eyes narrowed on him.

"I get it… But…"

"But?"

"No, actually, there's no but. I get it. Why can't I feel like you?" She frowned. "It's so unfair!" She pouted. "Why is…"

Lucas put his index finger on her lips, stopping her from continuing.

"Tell me," he started, his hands going on her hips, pulling her closer to him. "Is it your undying love for me or just this French good old-fashioned way of life that is pushing you to marry me?"

His face was serious but his eyes were clearly laughing. Alexandra's face broke into a smile. Lucas always knew how to lighten her mood.

"Old-fashioned. I like old-fashioned," she replied, amused.

Lucas exhaled like he felt better.

"Thank God, I really thought you wanted to marry me because you love me," he joked. "So, there's no way to stress then?"

"Nope," she confirmed, as her head approached his. "Not at all."

"Good," Lucas chuckled before plunging to her, his lips encountering hers in a deep kiss.

He felt her chuckle against his lips and pulled her away gently to see her smiling. He loved that smile so much.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," she replied. "And I need to go and get dressed," she continued, already out of the bed and grabbing a tank top and a pair of shorts.

"What are you doing this morning?" Lucas asked, the back of his head resting on his palms while checking out his fiancée putting on her underwear.

"I'm gonna go see Hannah. She's alone at her home. I think she might like some company. Plus, the birth is in just a little more than 3 months and she's already tired. I'm gonna help her a bit. Do her shopping maybe. I'll see," she concluded with a shrug. "And you?"

"I'm gonna use my brain, as usual."

"As usual," she confirmed, kissing the top of his head. "I'm going!"

Alexandra was already at the front door when she heard Lucas shout from the bedroom.

"Are we eating lunch together?"

Alexandra jogged back to the bedroom.

"No, I'm having a brainstorming with Maddy about the wedding," she grimaced, making quotes with her fingers around the word brainstorming.

"Good luck," Lucas said with a smirk.

"I'll survive. I have a will for survival," she joked. "See you tonight?"

"Alright."

Alexandra walked quickly to the door when she heard Lucas calling for her.

"What?" She yelled.

"You forgot something," he shouted.

Alexandra exhaled loudly and came back to the bedroom again.

"What?"

"Gimme a kiss," he grinned widely.

"You really don't deserve me," she smiled, shaking her head from side to side. She approached the bed and jumped on it. "You don't deserve me," she repeated before kissing him hungrily, her tongue playing with his lips. Lucas grabbed her bottom in response, immediately excited.

"I'm leaving," Alexandra reminded him, taking his hands off her back before jumping out of the bed.

"You're evil," Lucas stated, frustrated.

"Bye," she just waved.

Alexandra wore a silly smile the whole way to Hannah's house. Being happy was making her feel lighter. She could almost forget the rest of the world, all the problems, just because she was in love. It sounded totally crazy, utterly utopist, yet, it was exactly how she was feeling and she wanted to enjoy the most of it.

Hannah did not open the door when Alexandra knocked at it. But it did not stop her from getting in. Actually, Hannah had felt very tired for a few days now, and she could spend the majority of her day laid in the sofa, a plex in her hands, reading about pregnancy and parenthood.

"Hello?"

As no one answered, Alexandra persisted.

"Hannah? It's Alex. You here?"

"I'm in the bedroom!" Hannah replied.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, come in," an exhausted voice responded.

Hannah was sat cross-legged, a pillow on them, a plex above it. Her face reflected weariness.

"Alright?" Alexandra asked, concerned.

"Oh you know," she smiled tiredly. "I never thought I would wish for it to end as soon as possible! But he kicks me every night, it's impossible to sleep. And during the day, it's like every move is painful. My body is aching so much, I've never felt that way! I swear to you: don't get pregnant! Adopt a kid or ask someone to be pregnant for you because it's just like hell," she joked.

"Okay," Alexandra grinned. "Find someone to be pregnant for me… Duly noted."

"Well, if you want any advice, call me anytime you need!"

"Yeah, you're definitely the right person to give advice about how awesome pregnancy is. A real advert for procreation!"

They both laughed. Hannah because the fatigue was making her laugh at nothing and Alexandra because she was so happy today that everything was a source of joy.

"And me, can I do something for you?" Alexandra eventually asked.

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Not even some shopping? Do you have enough strength to reach the fridge? Maybe I should pull it next to your bed?" She mocked.

"That would be perfect. But it would be more amazing if you could do the same with the toilets!"

They giggled again, the sound of their cackles filling the air.

"Honestly, can I buy you something? Fruits? Vegetables? You need some vitamins."

"I told you, it's fine. Doctor Shannon paid me a visit yesterday and brought me loads of food."

"I can cook you a meal then?"

Hannah stared at her while a smile started spreading all over her face.

"Okay, I know I'm not a good cook, but I can do a meal," Alexandra grinned back.

"I think I'll pass on that," she replied, amused. "Tell me about your wedding. That must be a lot more interesting than my poor life here isolated from the rest of civilization."

"Oh well, there's nothing really to say. It's on schedule. Things are… almost done."

Hannah arched one eyebrow, perplexed.

"Almost done? Isn't it next week?"

"I know," Alexandra exhaled loudly. "Why did I agree to do it so soon?"

"Because you love him?"

"No, I don't mean that. I mean, I love him. I just don't know why I agreed to do it so soon! We could have waited a week or two. Taken our time."

"Is it that bad?"

"It's not that bad… I just have the feeling that I'm losing it. You see…"

"Everyone tells you what to do," Hannah finished her sentence. "I know," she said, taking Alexandra's hands into hers. "It was exactly the same for us. Sean's family was… Oh my God, it was awful," she chuckled. "His mother wanted to control everything. His sister, poor Ally, she was sweet but she truly believed we both loved the same things. She had some funny ideas…"

"And, what did you do?"

"I wish I had told her what I really wanted. But I'm weak," she grimaced. "I said nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing at all. And you know what, it didn't matter. Because all I wanted was to be Sean's wife. I must say, it could have been better. But it could have been worse. So, in the end, I let it be the way people wanted it. I pleased every member of my new family, and I got the only thing I really wanted."

"Sean."

"Sean," she confirmed with a smile.

"Once, Sean told me that home is where the heart is. He was right. I think I found mine."

"I'm glad to hear it. And even if I didn't like Lucas at first, I think you found a good man to be with. He's kind and generous when it comes to you. And most of all, he loves you from a true and deep love I haven't seen in anyone for a long time."

"Thank you," she replied, touched.

"You're welcome," Hannah smiled sweetly. Yet, sadness could be heard in her voice.

"Sean will be here soon," Alexandra said forcefully, her hand rubbing Hannah's arm gently. "You and your baby will be a complete family again very soon."

"I hope you're right," Hannah said hopefully.

"Sean will do whatever he has to do to come back to you."

"I know. But sometimes it's not enough."

A knot formed into Alexandra's stomach.

"Don't say that!" She scolded her friend. "Sean will succeed. I'm totally convinced he'll be here like he said. Has he ever lied to you before?"

Hannah bit her bottom lip, her gaze on the floor.

"No."

"Then you need to stop worrying and concentrate on this," she ordered her, her finger pointing to Hannah's belly.

Hannah forced a smile and thanked her. Alexandra could feel that Hannah was worried. And her concern didn't seem to be only about Sean. Enduring a pregnancy alone was probably not helping to maintain a positive attitude. Alexandra stayed another hour chatting with her until it was noon. Then she headed to the Shannon's house to meet Maddy. Alexandra had barely knocked at the door when Maddy appeared completely excited.

"Beth gave me your dress," she jumped with enthusiasm.

"And?"

"Come on! What and? You need to try it," she said, dragging her to the bathroom and pushing her inside. "Hurry!"

Alexandra ended up in front of a white dress delicately put on a chair. She gulped as she approached to see it closer. The fabric was light and had been created with attention. Beth was an artist for sure. Alexandra had accepted her offer to sew her wedding dress made to measure. Now, the dress was here and she had no idea what it would look like on her.

"Are you in?" Maddy shouted from behind the door.

"Not yet! Wait a minute," Alexandra yelled back. She looked one last time at the dress, inhaled deeply to find some courage and quickly undressed to put on Beth's gift. It was smooth and silky but not too girly. Agreeable to wear. Alexandra was pleasantly surprised. She stepped in front of the mirror and it took her some time to realize who the pretty woman facing her was. A grin emerged on her visage, followed by one tear that she quickly wiped away. It was like a chic summer dress. The neckline was plunging but not too much. Just enough to enhance her generously sized breasts. Two medium straps went back behind her neck and ended in a pretty bow. The dress was tight-fitting to the waist, highlighting her slim waist. Then it fell to her feet fluidly. It was as if the dress floated around her. Alexandra could not believe how much the dress was light and enjoyable to wear. She felt extremely comfortable in it. Without many words, Beth had really understood what Alexandra wanted and she was really thankful for that.

"Come on! Get out!" Maddy commanded her from outside.

"I… I don't know…"

"Alright, enough, I'm coming in," Maddy declared before entering into the bathroom. "I really don't know what…" Maddy stopped dead in the middle of her sentence. "Oh, Alex! You look beautiful!"

Alexandra frowned to her reflection in the mirror.

"You think?"

"Oh yeah," she confirmed.

"You aren't crying, are you?" Alexandra grimaced.

"No… No, it's something in my eye… Oh damn it, yeah I am," she shrugged. "But you're so… It's perfect. The dress is made for you. Beth really has a gift for couture."

"I know," Alexandra approved, glancing back to her reflection in the mirror. "She did a wonderful job."

"WOW," a little girl's voice exhaled. "You look like a princess!"

Alexandra turned to face Zoe and chuckled.

"Thank you," she smiled gratefully, her compliment was right from her heart and it was adorable.

"Am I going to have one like this one too?" Zoe asked hopefully.

"Huh… Not like this one," Maddy answered, embarrassed.

"But I want one like this one," Zoe started to pout.

"I'm sure yours is gonna be perfect!" Alexandra reassured her, caressing her arm gently. The little girl glared at her sulking. "I bet your dress will be splendid! Just like a princess!"

Zoe's dark face turned lighter.

"Like a princess?"

"Yep, like a princess," Maddy confirmed. "Now Zoe, why don't you go back to play, huh?"

"I want to stay with you!"

Maddy sighed, annoyed.

"It's okay," Alexandra intervened. "You can stay."

"Yes!" the little girl smiled.

Maddy made a face.

"What?" Alexandra murmured, faking not understanding her friend's disappointment.

"Okay… Well. So, you've got the dress, now, this…" Maddy showed a bag she was hiding behind her. "This is what you need!"

"What's this?" She frowned.

"Heels," Maddy replied, opening the bag for her.

"Heels?"

"Obviously!"

"No."

"No?"

"No," Alexandra confirmed, shaking her head from side to side. "I don't do heels."

"You won't marry Lucas without heels!" Maddy stated, shocked.

"Can I have them?" Zoe asked.

"Why not?" Alexandra inquired curiously, not listening to Zoe's intervention.

"Because!" Maddy just answered as if it was evident.

"But I can take them if she doesn't want them," Zoe insisted.

"Yes…" Alexandra said to Zoe.

"No!" Maddy quickly refused, keeping the shoes tightly against her chest.

"Maddy…"

"No, Alex. Listen to me, you can't marry him with your soldier's big boots on your feet."

"Why not?" she frowned.

"You have the dress, you need the heels!" Maddy scolded her.

"Maddy, one day you're gonna marry Mark and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be perfect. But right now, it's my wedding. And I… I don't want heels, please?"

"But a dress without heels it's like an apple pie without apple!" Maddy whined.

"Maddy… I… I want it… more… simple."

That was it. She had finally pointed out what was bothering her so much. She wanted it simple. She didn't need all of those things Maddy was planning. She wanted to please her friend, but deep down she knew she didn't want it. She had always heard that you had only one wedding and it was supposed to be the only day in your life when you could do whatever you wanted to do. It was her day, not Maddy's day. She didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings, but she had to stop planning everything like it was her own wedding.

"Simple?" Maddy repeated numbly.

"Maddy, I just need you and Damon with me to get married. And Lucas of course. Your parents, Zoe for the rings, and even Josh. Just my family and the man I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. It would be perfect to me that way."

Maddy seemed to deliberate in her head and a small smile appeared on her face.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Not even the heels?"

"I like Lucas to be taller than me," she explained as an excuse.

"Okay," she sighed exaggeratedly. "But when you organize my wedding, you'll have to do a lot more than that."

"Promise," Alexandra said, relieved. She suddenly felt lighter. She didn't know why she had been so stressed about telling Maddy the truth. Maybe Hannah's story had increased her fear, but she should have known her friend was truly a good person and would never force her to do anything she didn't want to do.

"Can I have the shoes then?" Zoe insisted.

"No, I think they're my size," Maddy smiled archly, already taking her shoes back to try them. "And for you, Alex, I know exactly what kind of shoes you'll like to wear."

Alexandra spent the rest of the afternoon with Maddy and Zoe, happy to realize that the day which had started so well was still pleasurable. Alexandra had swapped Maddy's heels for semi-open flat sandals belonging to Elisabeth. It was a real stroke of luck to know people who were the same size as her.

Totally delighted by her day, she walked back home her heart free of this guilt that had been nagging her for a while.

"Hello, love," Lucas welcomed her.

"You're cooking?" She noticed, surprised.

"Yep," he replied proudly.

"I am very, very impressed," she told him, teasing.

"What? A husband can't feed the wife he loves?"

She sat on one of the chairs of the bar, leaning on the counter, watching him cut vegetables.

"Husband-to-be," she corrected with a mischievous smile.

"Should I stop preparing dinner then?" He asked, clearly playing her game.

"No, I think it's good for you to train, as your wife to be is a hellish cook!"

They both smiled at each other.

"So I guess your day was a good day after all?"

"Yep," she replied, grabbing a slice of carrot to eat it.

"Maddy is still alive?"

"She is. Actually, we had a discussion."

"Oh, wow," he mocked. "You two talked to each other? This time, I am the one who's impressed!"

"Shut up," she said lightly.

"What? You two spend hours chatting. Excuse me to be surprised you talk!"

"Ha ha, yes I already understood your joke the first time you said it."

Lucas smirked, proud of himself.

"So, you two talked," he stated more seriously. "And?"

"Well, she listened to me and understood my point of view for the wedding."

"And your point of view is?"

"I disagreed with her on few things that's all."

"Nothing I should know about then?" Lucas knew how much Maddy had put pressure on Alexandra, and he felt Maddy was not the only one who had done it. Plus, even if Lucas had repeated to her that the wedding would be as she wanted, he was certain she had not told him everything. She probably put some pressure on herself alone. Now, he was inviting her to speak.

She shrugged, not responding. Lucas stopped what he was doing, putting both his palms on the counter, looking at her straight in the eyes.

"What's really bothering you?"

Alexandra glanced down, playing with a piece of salad.

"I'm not bothered. I'm just wondering… I guess… I guess that because you're the Commander's son, we have to celebrate a big wedding with all of the Terra Novans, right?"

"Well… Maybe. But we don't have to. I told you. I just need you and a priest to be happy."

Alexandra looked at him in a strange way.

"I think I'd like it to be…"

"Smaller?"

"Simpler."

Lucas let out a chuckle.

"It's funny. I was sure of it! Yet, at first, I really thought you were the kind of girl who dreamt about a big wedding."

"I would have never thought you were the kind of guy who wanted a big one! Do I have to remind you that you hated to be gathered with people before?"

"I haven't changed that much. I just learned how to tolerate them."

"When I was younger, I wanted a big wedding, with the man I fell in love with because he would be smart, funny, and rich, with a lot of friends, all of my family. We would have partied during days, have danced hours, have eaten tones of food and have drunk liters of alcohol! But then, I met you."

"And I'm not rich, I know," he joked.

"I was going to say," she continued, sending him a scolding gaze. "That I met you and I fell in love with you. Then I realized that you're the only one I want to be with. I don't need other people with us to become your wife. I just want you and some close friends, people I consider as my family. That's all."

"I'm fine with whatever you're fine with. If you want it simple, we'll have it simple. Honestly, Alex, I don't mind. It's you who matters."

Alexandra stared at him, pondering.

"What about your father?"

"Who cares?"

"I care. You care. Even if you act like you don't."

"Alex… I love you. It's all that matters."

Alexandra looked at him intensively before forcing a smile.

"I know," she stated.

Alexandra believed Lucas really didn't care about how big the wedding should be. All he wanted was to marry her. And if to please her it had to be a tiny wedding, he would agree. And that was why Alexandra felt so guilty about it. She didn't want to be selfish. She wanted to please everyone. And as Lucas wanted to please her only, it was not helping. If she had been certain he didn't want a big one, or sure he wanted a small one, maybe she would have told him a different thing than the one that got out of her mouth.

"A big wedding is fine," she told him firmly.

"Is it?" Lucas asked, skeptical, still giving her an exit way.

"It is," she confirmed, trying to convince him as much as herself. And to avoid the discussion she felt that was coming from Lucas, she seized his face with her hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. The kind of kiss Lucas couldn't fight. The kind of kiss that would make him forget their serious talk.


End file.
